Pastors and Their Children

February 28, 2017

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

One of the greatest legacies of any pastor is for his children to grow up loving God and loving the church passionately.

Yet, this is often not the story of the children of a pastor. Why? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this question.

A Brief Testimony

Through the years, hundreds of people have asked how they could pray for our family. Jeana and I were very clear through the years our boys were living at home with us: Pray for Josh and Nick to love God and love the church passionately.

By grace alone, both Josh and Nick, now in their 30s, love God and love the church passionately. Josh is located in metropolitan Birmingham, Alabama, serving as the Head Football Coach of the Hewitt Trussville Huskies. He and his wife, Kate, love God and love the church passionately.

Nick is the leader of our Cross Church staff team and serves as Teaching Pastor of not just our Fayetteville campuses, but across the ministry. He and his wife, Meredith, love God and love the church passionately.

Now, both Josh and Kate and Nick and Meredith have the privilege of raising their children to live as they did and still do today: loving God and loving the church passionately.

4 Things to Consider in Relationship to Your Children

Again, there is no easy answer to how your children grow up and love God and His church passionately. Yet, perhaps these four things may be worth consideration.

1. Engage Other People to Pray for Your Children

As a pastor, please do not think you are over-spiritualizing the extraordinary challenge of raising your children. Pastors need to request of their church publicly and when asked privately, “Please pray for my children to grow up loving God and loving the church passionately.”

Pastor, you are continually called upon to pray for other people. There is nothing wrong with requesting that others pray for your children from the time they are toddlers all the way through their collegiate years. This is not a sign of weakness, but personal humility and deep faith in God.

2. Teach Your Children to Walk With God

Pastors spend much time teaching people God’s Word and how to walk in His power through life. If we can do this for our church members, we should do this for our own children.

Yes, from the youngest to the oldest of your children, while living with you, teach them what it means to walk with God. Show them how to do it. We cannot expect them to walk or live in a way we have never shown them personally.

3. Give God a Chance

Many pastors feel they do not need to encourage their children to be involved in church ministries and activities, thinking they will be perceived as forcing them. I respectfully disagree.

My boys grew up always going to church. Yes, unashamedly, Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, children’s activities and ministries, and student activities and ministries. We started with church, not sports, personal preferences or peer influence. Our boys were never bitter or resentful. They were afforded life-changing experiences at student camps and retreats, on mission trips, choir trips, and multiple other experiences. Powerful relationships were formed and they are connected forever to their former student pastors.

Pastor, give God a chance with your kids. They need to be in spiritual environments as children and teenagers to have God do a work in their life.

4. Walk by Faith, Trusting God

As parents, pastors need to teach their children to walk with God and continually place them in environments where God has a powerful chance with their kids. Then while asking people to pray for them, walk by faith, trusting God for their future with Him and His church.

Your child may take a periodic tour away from God, but God is able to pull them back to Himself. His Word never returns void and the prayers of His people have lasting influence with Him.

Therefore, what we can do as parents, whether we are pastors or not, is to walk by faith, trusting God.

In the meantime, love your children unconditionally and call out to God on their behalf in prayer daily, periodically even coupling those prayers with fasting.

Our God is able! Trust Him by faith!

Now Is the Time to Lead,

Ronnie W. Floyd

7 Ways to Live Out the Gospel in a Post-Truth, Post-Fact Culture

Carey Nieuwhof

February 28, 2017

Is it possible to live out the gospel today? Regardless of where your politics lean, many would sense that American culture is quickly becoming both post-truth and post-fact.

It’s happening right before our eyes.

Don’t like the outcome of what’s happening? Claim it never happened. Bothered by what the data says? Offer your own data, even if you have to make it up.

The rise (and influences of) fake news and the rapid polarization of opinion across every platform is staggering.

If you’re alarmed by the shift, you’re not alone.

For a whole host of reasons (I list several below), the stakes are high. Probably higher than most of us think, both personally and for the church.

The depth of the change is hard to see, but I think it’s deep and dangerous.

Whenever you’re in the middle of a passage from one phase of history to the next, you never see it clearly. It’s too easy to drink whatever color of Kool-Aid you prefer, only to later learn that you’re dying. (The people who followed Jim Jones might agree with that.)

Fortunately, the church has a unique role to play in it. Play it well, and everyone (including the culture) wins. Play it poorly, and it could end poorly for everyone—us, our kids, the church, our countries, the world.

So how did we get here? What’s changing? And most importantly, how should you respond?

I don’t claim to see it perfectly at all. I offer these words in the hope they help.

So, some thoughts that I hope might help those of us who are Christians regardless of our political leanings.

Truth Is Not Personal

Since the 1960s, you’ve seen many challenge and reject the objective nature of the Gospel (one God revealed in Jesus Christ who extends an invitation to all) to embrace a far more subjective spirituality:

What’s true for you isn’t true for me.

God is whoever you define him/her/it.

My spirituality can be customized to suit me, just like my meal at a restaurant.

Maybe the subjectivism of spirituality caught on because it’s harder to prove that something we can’t see or touch is anchored in objective truth (even if it is). Spirituality was one of the first widespread casualties of post-modern thought’s attempt to de-couple ideas from objective truth.

But that same logic has now infected so much more.

In the emerging culture, truth is no longer just subjective or objective, it’s personal.

Don’t like something?

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Four Reasons to Slow Down

Jon Bloom

February 28, 2017

A few years back, I began tracking how many books I read during the year. After the first year, dissatisfied with how little I read, I figured a good goal would be to read more books the next year. So I set a goal and read more books.

But after that year, I realized a defect in my goal: Aiming to read more books in a year incentivized me to read shorter books and avoid longer ones, since that would reduce my total book count. That’s silly, I realized. The point of reading books is reading books worth reading, not reading as many books as possible. So I changed my reading goal from books-read per year to pages-read per year. That meant I could read any book of any length I thought worth reading without affecting my goal.

But after a couple years of this, I’ve realized another goal defect: Aiming to read more pages per year has incentivized me to read or listen to books faster and resist lingering and meditating over what I’m reading, since that would reduce my total page-count. That’s silly, too. The point of reading is learning in order to increase understanding, not reading as many pages as possible. Again, I hit respectably close to my goal, but I’m still shooting wide of the mark.

So I’ve made another goal adjustment. I’ll get to that in a minute.

Why Slow Down

Reflecting on this little experiment highlights four reasons why we need to slow down and cultivate the spiritual fruit of patience, especially in the 21st century.

1. We are pursuing transformation, not information.

As Eugene Peterson says), not that we become information databases.

People might be impressed by how much information we have stored away. God is concerned with how much we’ve been transformed into the image of his Son. The point of all our reading, praying, worshiping, small-group participation—everything—is not that we merely learn about the craft, but that we actually learn the craft of Christ, so to speak; that we truly learn to “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God” (Colossians 1:10).

There are vital and even priceless things we will only learn about God, ourselves, others and the Evil One through God’s time-consuming, arduous, incremental, repetitive, trial-error-correction process of learning.

2. Real growth takes a long time.

We live in an age of fast transportation, fast computers, fast Internet access, fast food, fast videos and fast social-media scrolling—and they’re all only getting faster. This is shaping our assumptions. We expect to be able to do everything at faster speeds and greater volume.

But this is not a biblical assumption. If we look at creation, redemptive history and our own spiritual growth, we see a God who is not in a hurry. We see a God whose patience almost exasperates us at times. If we look carefully, we see that the most important things take a long time to grow and mature. They can’t be rushed.

This is painfully true of our spiritual progress. There are no life-hacks for holiness.

3. Goals matter and develop over time.

We set goals in an effort to obtain what we value, which means they are very important. Goals reveal how godly or ungodly our desires are. They also determine the strategies we choose to achieve them. And these strategies determine how we spend our time. Goals dictate how we spend our lives.

But we rarely determine the best goals with one shot. It often requires the slow, iterative process of learning to clarify exactly what we want and what that requires. Setting imperfect goals is OK. If we prayerfully and humbly pursue them, God will guide us in figuring out better goals, and he will use the process to cause us to grow in holiness and faith.

4. We cannot love what we do not linger over.

And we cannot know what we do not comprehend. Lingering, by definition, takes time. Comprehension requires time-consuming concentration and meditation. This is true in nearly all areas of life. And the implication is that the real or perceived societal pressure we feel to get more and more things done, and process more and more information, can be an enemy to real love and true learning.

God Speed

God is not slow—though to us as hurried, harried modern disciples, he might seem that way. He is patient (2 Peter 3:9). And growth takes a long time. God is not in a hurry, so we don’t have to be either.

That’s why this year I’ve decided to set my reading goal by hours spent, rather than pages read. I want to stop aiming at volume so I’m freer to linger, meditate, memorize and record what I need to press deeper into my soul.

I may get to the end of this year and realize that once again my reading goal needs to be tweaked. Perhaps I’ll need a hybrid of time and quantity. Or perhaps new life-demands will require a different goal altogether.

That’s OK, because my aim is to be changed. I want my reading to help me better learn the craft of Christ and not just about the craft of Christ. And one thing my defective goals have taught me is how much I have to learn about moving at the patient speed of God.

Barna Study: 3 Times More Female Pastors Compared to 25 Years Ago

Megan Briggs

February 28, 2017

After three years and 10,000 interviews, the Barna Group has some conclusive information about the “State of Pastors” in our modern age. While the study explored everything from the mental, physical, financial, emotional and spiritual well-being of today’s pastors, one thing it found may surprise you: One out of every 11 pastors is female. This number is three times what is was 25 years ago.

Barna’s Editor in Chief, Roxanne Stone, presented the research on the rising number of women in leadership in the church. Stone explained this jump is seen most consistently in mainline Protestant denominations.

Barna did a study a couple years ago which asked women if they felt “like you are held back at your church, or are you bothered by the limitations placed on you,” Stone said. The majority of women surveyed responded that they are “not bothered” by the limitations; however women representing younger generations were more uncomfortable than not with those limitations.

Women lead smaller churches while facing more criticism

While the number of female pastors is on the rise, a Christianity Today article points out they lead smaller congregations than men do. Additionally, they are more likely than men to classify their congregants’ comments on their leadership as “critical,” “judging” and “unhelpful.” Barna offered these hypotheses for why this might be the case: With smaller congregations, criticism is more likely to make its way back to the pastor; women also feel more pressure than men to “do everything” or attain “perfection.” Finally, given the ongoing debate about biblical instructions on women in leadership, female pastors feel pressure for simply being women—whether it comes from inside or outside their congregations.

Women leaving the church

Stone also drew on the studies Barna has conducted tracking church attendance over the last 25-30 years. In the past, women represented a “stable” group that consistently attended church. In the younger generations, however, the studies are showing a decrease in regular church attendance among women. Stone explains women are concerned about what they can and can’t do at church. Pointing to the disconnect between the consistent messages girls are receiving from the culture as they grow up (“You can do anything you want; there are no limitations for you”) and the limitations the church places on women, women are asking “Why are there glass ceilings at church when I don’t have those in the rest of my life?”

What opportunities are available to the church as a result of these findings?

Consistent with its mission, Barna included ways for pastors to apply these research findings to the church’s progress. Stone offered these suggestions for church leaders wishing to implement the research:

Pay attention to the cultural moment we’re in — Stone referred to the Women’s March that just occurred. Whether or not you agree with the politics involved in this march, as a pastor you can seek to understand what women were trying to accomplish by participating in it. Is there a felt need you can address for your congregants?

Address women’s need for leadership — Make the women in your church aware of the opportunities to serve and lead in your church, even if it’s not necessarily the executive pastor position.

Don’t be afraid to talk theology — Wherever you stand on the issue of women in leadership, Stone encourages you to make your church’s theological position known. Be honest and upfront and offer a thorough explanation for why your church holds this position.

Address changing family structures — As our culture shifts toward men and women pursuing career paths equally, family structures are changing. These new structures can be particularly difficult to navigate, which gives the church the opportunity to step in and provide the biblical guidance congregants are looking for.

Tim Tebow: I Don’t Want to Be Known for Being a Good Football or Baseball Player

Megan Briggs

February 28, 2017

Tim Tebow took to his professional sports platform again to say something really, really good.

The video below was posted yesterday, February 27, 2017, by the Wild Card to their Facebook page. Tebow was asked by interviewers how he juggles his career and his charity work. Instead of the response you might expect from someone who makes a living playing sports, Tebow talked about his purpose in life and how it is so much bigger than any sports achievement.

Tebow said, “We can pursue [sports], we can give it so much of our time, energy, and effort, but at the end of the day I know that’s not why I’m here. That’s not my biggest purpose, it’s not my biggest calling.” Tebow said he doesn’t want to be known for being a good football player or baseball player. “I want to be…known for bringing faith, hope, and love to those needing a brighter day in their dark hour of need.”

Tebow concluded by saying even though he feels sports aren’t the main part of his life, he is grateful for the platform they have given him to speak about faith and help people all around the world.

8 Suggested Videos to Include on Your Church Website

Chuck Lawless

February 27, 2017

I don’t write this post as a technological wizard (because I’m not one…), but as a guy who looks at websites simply to learn about churches. In that context, here are some types of BRIEF videos I’ve seen that added much to the site, in my opinion:

A gospel presentation. Obviously, a written presentation of the gospel is important, too, so I’m suggesting an addition rather than a replacement. A video presentation not only might be attractive to non-readers, but it also shows believers how to share the gospel.
An invitation from the pastor. A written note is fine, but there’s something good about hearing the pastor’s voice and heart. Passion can come through readily in a video that complements a written invitation.
Personal testimonies. Stories of grace are powerful, unless those stories remain untold. Via video, church members have incredible opportunities to influence the world through their testimonies.
Family testimonies. Particularly in a world of fractured homes, families need to see homes that are healthy and God-centered. They need to hear from parents and kids who are enjoying their faith and their church.
A building tour (or at least an introduction to the building entrance). Helping a potential guest see where to locate guest parking, where to enter the building and where to find the welcome center can alleviate some of the stress of visiting a new church.
Ministry reports. It’s good for the community to see kids learning about missions, teens studying the Bible, adults doing outreach and church planters growing congregations. Even some church members, in fact, might not otherwise see some of these activities.
Member introductions. Some churches briefly welcome new members, but the majority of the congregation still never learns their stories. A simple introductory video can help the church connect names, faces and families.
Announcements. Video announcements are helpful both in the worship service and on the website as a follow-up and reminder.

In what other ways have you seen churches use videos on their websites?

Growing Up in Ministry

Kristin Duran

February 27, 2017

I didn’t want to go to India. The morning we were supposed to leave, I snuggled deep under soft covers in Colorado Springs, breathing in the scent of fabric softener and listening to my mom make chocolate chip pancakes. I didn’t like anything I’d heard about India; everyone said it was humid and I’d have to buy different clothes. I wanted to go to normal school with normal friends and cute boys. I wanted to be popular and have the kind of life I watched kids having on TV shows. When I finally crawled out of that comfortable bed, I cried a little.

For the next few days, we took the long trip to India. Each plane ride, I took the barf bag out of the seat in front of me and wrote a letter to the next person who would sit there. Most of the letters went like this:

Dear next person who sits in seat 23A,

My name is Kristin. My family is moving to India. I don’t even like Indian food.

From, Kristin

We stopped in Korea and Thailand, and then finally arrived in Maharashtra, where we drove down unpaved jungle roads until we got to the church where we’d live for the next two months. Everywhere I turned, there were orange idols on mud slabs, children living in tents, cows stalling traffic and pigs eating sewage. The smells of roasted peanuts and garlic mutton overwhelmed my senses, burning my eyes. When we stepped out of our jeep, we found out that no foreigners had ever visited that city before, and everyone was so shocked to see us that two drivers got into a car accident.

For the next two months, I slept on a straw mat on the cement floor next to my three siblings, where we swatted away an untold number of black jungle ants and thick furry spiders. Every night, we came up with creative ways of keeping rats out of our rooms, but nothing worked. Yet one thing was sure—I didn’t mind the rats as much as I minded the centipedes.

Furthermore, we had no air conditioner, refrigerator, TV or furniture, and our bathroom was a squatty potty in the backyard. For the first couple of weeks, I laid in the dark next to my older brother, where he dreamed aloud of eating juicy burgers, toasted bagels and milk chocolate. Eventually, I’d beg him to stop because I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I was 10 years old, and my family had already done missionary work in four different countries. In between each of our travels, my parents ran a Christian youth program in Texas, and so I experienced life in ministry from both the American and foreign perspective. By the time I’d turn 18, we would do missionary work through 14 countries and all over the United States!

Even though I started out pretty upset about the whole thing, that trip to India ended up changing my life. I wept when it was time to leave, and my family has returned several times since. It was in India, on dusty roads to thatched-roof villages, that I began to understand the saving power of Jesus in changing a nation. Later, at 13 years old, I would learn the unrelenting hope of Christ while feeding child prostitutes in Ecuador. At 17, I would develop strategic thinking while single-handedly planning a mini-Olympics for all the orphanages in Beijing. Yet through my whole childhood, there was one lesson more confusing and harder to digest than anything else: living under the scrutiny of the church in America.

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The Christian Life Is Not the Bargain Bin

Erik Raymond

February 27, 2017

The Christian life is difficult. It’s not quite spitting-into-the-wind hard, but it’s still tough. But there is a difference between it being hard and being lousy. Christians are often portrayed in print and film as joyless prigs who have settled for a flavorless life. Sadly, many believers can fall into this same line of thinking. Being shaped by the world around us and some degree of truncated biblical application, we can buy the lie that the abundant life is out of reach. We think that we’ve settled for less.

I was reminded of this on a recent visit to the store to pick up a couple of things for my wife. Walking through the supermarket I noticed a discount bin. In this section of the cooler there was discounted meat nearing its expiration. Nearby there was a shelf with damaged boxes. Things were discounted because they were not as good as the other stuff. We should not think about the Christian life as that which was pulled out of the bargain bin. It’s not less, it’s more.

Here are a few reminders why:

WE GET GOD.

There is nothing or no one in this world worth more than God himself. The Christian must never forget that the glorious truth of the gospel is that Christ has brought us home to God (1 Pet. 3:18). In the garden of Eden we were at home with God (Gen. 1-2), but through sin we have been escorted out of the garden (Gen. 3). The rest of human history is filled with humanity’s clawing to get back to Eden, back to God. Everything people sink their teeth into, grasp hold of or fasten their heart upon comes with a potential promise. But like empty cisterns, they cannot deliver; they can’t bear the weight of our thirst (Jer. 2:13). Only in God can we have all of our desires fully sanctified and satisfied. This is not less than ideal; it is the ideal.

WE SEE IN HD.

I remember the first time I watched a baseball game in high-definition. I remember telling my friend that it was like watching a different game; it was an entirely new experience. This is what happens when we become a Christian. Suddenly we see the world in light of God and experience his blessings in light of grace. Eyes formerly blinded by sin become illuminated by grace (2 Cor. 4:4-6).

WE KNOW OURSELVES.

Part of this seeing is an accurate assessment of ourselves. One of the most frustrating aspects of growing spiritually is becoming more aware of how prideful I am. But the only thing worse than being aware of how prideful I am is to be ignorant of it! Learning more about sin makes me more appreciate grace. Seeing myself in light of God’s character is not some second-tier life; it is true life.

WE WALK WITH JESUS.

There is nothing that this world has to offer that even begins to compare with the precious joy of knowing, loving and becoming like Jesus. He was, after all, the most contented man who ever lived. He was fully satisfied in God, free from sin, faithful in temptation, full of compassion, unwavering on truth, fearless in opposition and faithful to sacrifice for his people. Our life as Christians is about growing more in our knowledge of and fellowship with Jesus. What joy to have a Savior who sympathizes with you in weakness. Consider: He knows you intimately—all of your failings and foibles—and yet he loves you infinitely—even to the end and through your sin! There is no friend like this.

Let’s not forget the unspeakable riches we have in Christ—not just in the heavenly court but also in our earthly experience. It is hardly that which makes up the discount bin.

Tim Keller to Step Down as Senior Pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church

Megan Briggs

February 27, 2017

Tim Keller made a big announcement Sunday, February 26, 2017, during all eight of the Redeemer Presbyterian services in New York City. The beloved pastor, author and theologian announced that he is stepping down from his position of lead pastor.

Effective July 1, Keller, 66, will no longer be the senior pastor and will instead be teaching at Reformed Theological Seminary (RTS) and assisting Redeemer’s City to City church planting ministry.

Keller’s move is not the only change the megachurch will face this year. Pending a congregational vote, the church that is currently split across three campuses will separate into three distinct churches. Since 1997, the church has been on a trajectory to fulfill “a vision for not being a megachurch,” as Keller’s wife, Kathy, stated. Like Redeemer, the three churches will have a focus on replicating themselves through church planting. The first church plant of the Redeemer offshoots will be Redeemer Lincoln Square, which is scheduled to open Easter Sunday.

Fans of Keller need not despair over his departure, though. According to Christianity Today, Keller will still be involved in events at Redeemer, including the church’s “Questioning Christianity” series and their fall retreats. “He will probably be speaking the same volume of words as he does now,” Kathy Keller said.

According to Kathy, Keller is eager to teach seminary, even though “there’s a certain level of him that’s going to mourn the connection with a congregation and being their pastor.”

Keller is probably best known for his advocacy for urban evangelism. At the Lausanne Conference in 2010, Keller gave a groundbreaking address about the need for Christians to move to cities and evangelize if they wish to be serious about reaching people for Christ. Additionally, the church he founded, Redeemer, has thrived in New York City for its willingness to engage skeptics and critical thinkers.

Encourage Parents to Spend More Money on This & Less on This

Dale Hudson

February 26, 2017

Leading child psychologists say parents have been wasting money on toys and instead should be spending the money on vacations with their children.

Oliver James, a best-selling psychological author of numerous books on parent-child relationships, says a large percentage of toys parents give children aren’t actually wanted or valued. A classic example is seeing a child choose to play with the box that a toy came in after opening the present.

James says, “The whole business of providing material commodities for kids—in ever more expensive forms as they get older—is entirely, 100 percent, about propping up the industry that profits from it.”

He goes on to say that family vacations are definitely valued by children, both in the moment and long afterward in their memory. Oliver suggests if you’re going to spend money on something for your kids, the best return is spending it on vacations. Just like adults, kids regard experiences like traveling as more fulfilling than just buying more stuff.

The big benefit of choosing to spend more money on vacations and less money on toys is that it provides the opportunity for children to have prolonged periods of time with their parents. It gives families time to spend together outside of the pressure of everyday life, where they can relax and play together.

Most of the toys parents give their children in today’s videogame, digital-play driven world are toys that put distance between them. Children end up playing on their own screen, whether it’s the screen of a TV, computer, laptop, tablet, gaming system or other mobile device. But on a vacation, children and parents tend to spend more time together in face-to-face interaction. This is what children really value.

Encourage the parents in your ministry to spend less money on “toys” for their children. Encourage them instead to take some of the money and invest it it in vacation experiences with their children. This is what kids will really remember and value, long after their toys are landfill in a local dump.

This article originally appeared here.

5 Unfair Criticisms People Levy at Strategic Church Leaders

Carey Nieuwhof

February 26, 2017

If you’re a church leader who thinks strategically, you’re probably going to get criticized. Maybe even more than you ever dreamed.

For some reason, being strategic is often viewed as being unspiritual in the church. Why?

I mean, if you want the church to flounder, be unstrategic. Never use your mind, only use your heart. Never think, only feel.

Saying the church should never be strategic is like saying God wasn’t strategic when he designed the universe or even when he designed you. Everything was just random or emotional; God never invoked what we best understand as rational thought.

The truth is God showed incredible precision and unfathomable accuracy and detail when creating the galaxies.

If God created us to think, why do people criticize leaders who use their minds when leading?

It’s a real question. Talk to many Christians, and you’d think logic and strategy are the enemies of the faith. (Just read the comments scattered throughout the blog…you’ll see the mindset there.)

You know who pays the price for this? Among others, the church. Because so often, churches are poorly led as a result.

To be fair, we’ve all probably met a few church leaders who were strategic but who showed little evidence of a profound and personal relationship with Jesus. That’s just wrong, and that’s not what this post is justifying.

You can be strategic and deeply devoted to Jesus. You can think and be faithful.

However, if you’re a strategic leader, get ready.

As soon as the conversation gets specific and detailed, some people start criticizing. Here’s what you need to be prepared to hear.

Just because these phrases sound spiritual doesn’t mean they’re always helpful. And just because they’re true doesn’t mean they should shut down intelligent, prayerful discussion.

But too often, they do, and the church pays a horrible price.

How Your Control Freak Tendencies Stunt Your Church’s Growth

Carey Nieuwhof

February 26, 2017

So you might have a love-hate relationship with control: You love controlling things, but you hate being controlled.

It’s not surprising. People who like control seem to have a natural ability to get into leadership positions. Or sometimes they create positions, start things and build their own organizations.

For years, I resisted the control freak label.

I wasn’t a control freak. I was…

Passionate.

Detail oriented (of course, only very selectively about the things for which I had the most passion).

Good at what I did (OK, you don’t say that one out loud…but control freaks, you know what happens when you delegate to other people who just can’t get the job done, right?).

Control freaks, after all, usually get things done.

Our church grew rapidly when I was in my undiagnosed control freak days. So you would think, well, the sky’s the limit, right?

Wrong.

There’s a lid that comes with your control freak tendencies. You will eventually hit a wall in which the size of your church shrinks back to the size of your personal span of care. Until you let go.

In other words, if you want to limit your church’s growth, attempt to control everything.

Apparently, Jesus didn’t model control freakishness very well for those of us who want to follow in his footsteps.

He only ministered for three years, building into some questionable characters he called disciples. He poured his life into them and then left the planet and put them in charge.

A number of years ago I finally admitted I have a problem (only after about 1,282 other people had gently hinted that I might). And I began to let go.

Don’t get me wrong, the impulses still surface from time to time. But over the years it’s gotten so much better. Fortunately for all of us, learned behavior has a wonderful way of compensating for bad impulses that no leader should act on.

Here are five insights that help me remember that controlling everything means you will eventually end up leading nothing significant.

1. Control Is Often a Substitute for a Lack of Clear Strategy or Alignment

Poor leaders substitute control for clarity.

Here’s why. If you don’t know with absolute clarity what your organization is, where it’s going and how it’s going to get there (in other words, if you’re fuzzy about your mission, vision and strategy), you can never truly align a team. And as a result, you will always want to control it.

You will default to control because, in the absence of clarity, you worry that leaders will take your church or organization to places you don’t believe it should go. And the truth is, they will. Because you haven’t been clear.

In so many cases, the real reason you can’t ‘trust’ people of even stellar character is not because they aren’t trustworthy, it’s because you haven’t stated the mission, vision and strategy clearly enough that it’s repeatable and reproducible for anybody other than you. In the absence of clarity, well-intentioned team members end up going rogue, not because they’re trying to be disloyal, but because you never clearly defined the destination.

Healthy people usually only run in the wrong direction when their leader never made it clear what the right direction is.

The more clarity you have as a leader, the less you will feel a need to control anything.

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Who’s Holding You Up?

H.B. Charles, Jr.

February 26, 2017

During a recent sermon, I shared an illustration I have used during counseling sessions over the years.

It was very different doing this illustration in the pulpit, rather than in front of one or two persons across a desk. And I typically do not use any type of multimedia in my preaching. I typically just go to the pulpit with my Bible, and a half-sheet a sermon notes, if necessary.

But I tried something a little different. And I think it got the point across I was trying to make about loving difficult people and being faithful in difficult relationships.

After a person or couple in counseling share with me the challenges of the relationship, I respond with biblical truth, godly wisdom and gospel challenges. Occasionally, I also draw a crude little picture of a person on top of a cliff and another person laying at the bottom of the cliff.

“This is you, on the top of the cliff,” I explain. “And that is the person you love at the bottom. He or she has done something that hurt themselves, wronged you and wronged the relationship. The temptation is to just walk away. But that is not God’s will.”

Then I draw a rope from the person on the top of the cliff to the person at the bottom of the cliff.

Then I explain that it is God’s will that you reach out and help that person up to restore the relationship that has been damaged. The obvious danger, of course, is that the person may pull you down, as you are trying to pull that person up.

This is when the person across my desk often chimes in, “Yes! That’s exactly what I’m going through! I’m tired of pulling. It feels like that person is not trying. And I am being dragged down by this relationship.”

“So what do you do?” I ask.

Then I draw a picture from the person at the top of the cliff reaching up to God in heaven.

This is the answer. The only answer. You are free to reach out in love—tender love, tough love, sacrificial love or radical love—when you are secure in the the Lord’s steadfast love for you.

If you are dependent on the other person in the relationship for your sense of identity, worth or esteem, you are always in danger of being pulled down by what that person thinks, says or does—or does not think, say or do. But you do not have to worry about people pulling you down when you know who is holding you up.

So… Who’s holding you up?

HT: Graphics by Marcellus Marsh

This article originally appeared here.

Jesus’ Upside-Down Strategy

Pete Scazzero

February 24, 2017

Jesus focused a disproportionate amount of time discipling the Twelve—and one of them didn’t even work out! This was His upside-down strategy to reach the world with the love of the Father.

Yet we have programs to run, meetings to lead, people to pray for, money concerns, attendance to monitor, administration to be done, messages to prepare, strategies to execute, visions to cast and crises that won’t wait till tomorrow.

We live in the great tension of the big and the small—a tension I carry with me each week as I set priorities. How do I focus on the few, my Twelve, when modern culture demands the big…and now?

It helps me to remember that so much in and around me resists focusing on the few. Why?

Discipling the few is slow. The kingdom of God is a mustard seed and always will be.
Discipling the few is hard. People are complex and formation is messy.
Discipling the few is limiting. Limits and rebellion are closely related. We have been resisting limits since the Garden of Eden.
Discipling the few demands a lot from me. I cannot give what I do not possess, and cannot help but give what I do possess. It requires I keep growing and learning.

Our contribution to this at EHS is to call the local church back to a robust discipleship through the embedding of The EHS Course and THE EHS Relationship Course.

This article originally appeared here.

Largest Christian Bookstore Chain: Liquidation Is ‘only recourse’

Megan Briggs

February 24, 2017

With more than 240 stores in 36 states, Family Christian is the largest chain of Christian retail stores in the world. Being the biggest hasn’t spared the company from financial difficulty, though. After struggling for two years since filing for bankruptcy in 2015, Family Christian announced on Thursday, February 23, 2017, it will be closing all its stores.

“We have prayerfully looked at all possible options, trusting God’s plan for our organization, and the difficult decision to liquidate is our only recourse,” president Chuck Bengochea says of the decision.

Unlike other bookstores, Family Christian is a nonprofit business, employing more than 3,000 people. According to Central Charts, the nonprofit “provided humanitarian aid for more than 14 million orphans, widows and oppressed people across the globe.”

Family Christian started out as the retail arm of publishing brothers Pat and Bernie Zondervan in 1931. Originally setting up shop in the family farmhouse in Grandville, Michigan, the stores eventually separated from Zondervan Publishing and became the stores we are familiar with today. In 2012, the bookstore chain faced financial difficulties and was acquired by three businessmen whose vision was to turn it into a nonprofit organization, contributing 100 percent of its profits to ministries serving widows and orphans.

In 2015, the company again faced financial difficulties, but this time their debt was so severe they filed for bankruptcy and were subjected to the mercy of their creditors (publishers and merchandise suppliers). The creditors allowed a third party to purchase the chain, while absorbing millions of dollars of Family Christian’s debt. The decision affected some of the smaller publishers involved in the deal, including Gospel Light and Send the Light Distribution. Gospel Light filed for bankruptcy, while Send the Light closed down last year.

Giving a reason for closing its doors, Bengochea explains the company “had two very difficult years post-bankruptcy,” and cited not being able to get “the pricing and terms we needed from our vendors to successfully compete in the market.”

Bengochea says, “Today and always, we are grateful to God for the privilege of serving Him and look forward to finishing strong for His name’s sake.”

No timeline has been set for shutting the stores down.

American Churches: Why Aren’t Your Members Personally Reaching Friends for Christ?

Randall Neighbour

February 23, 2017

A few weeks back I asked a pointed question about relational evangelism on the Facebook page for small group leaders, hosted by one of the most prominent small group pastors and authors in the nation. He’s not in the cell group stream, but the small group stream. I know this man and have a lot of respect for him and the church where he pastors. They water baptize small group members every single Sunday after services and have a solid discipleship pathway for new believers to follow. So I was hoping that this Facebook page would be filled with other small groups pastors who were replicating the health I see in his church.

I was careful to craft my question by asking if any of the 2,000+ small group point persons who represent that page were seeing relational evangelism going on in their small groups and considered this “normal or ordinary” behavior (versus something that happened now and then or was extra-ordinary).

I clarified my question by stating that I was not referring “bring a friend Sunday” programs or inviting friends to big church services (not that there’s anything wrong with this and I hope your church is doing it). I just wanted to get down to brass tacks: Are there any U.S. churches where relational evangelism is the way the local church is growing, verses crowd evangelism efforts?

After two days of zero responses, I replied to my own question, asking if the silence on the subject was as deafening to everyone else as it was to me. One small groups pastor replied saying they would love for this to be the norm, but it’s not happening despite their best efforts on a leadership level.

It’s not as if no one uses this Facebook page
Posts are made daily asking about campaigns that work best, training for hosts, best ways to get the visitors and congregations to sign up for a group, etc. And many others are answering them. But ask a question about relational evangelism and it’s as if someone cut off the power to every small group pastor’s laptop in the nation!

America, we have a problem!
First, we saw lots of smaller churches close their doors or become satellite locations for megachurches with a shiny lead pastor and his incredible way with words when on a mic in the pulpit. Then we saw most every megachurch look, feel, sound, smell and taste the same no matter which denomination they belong to or where they’re located as they copied what others were doing that was so attractive and retentive.

The hallmark of these big multi-site churches is being very good at pleasing the consumer Christian (if I may use this oxymoron). They’ve got amazing programs for children and youth and lots of self-help and self-improvement programs, which aren’t bad in and of themselves. They just seem to keep people from seeing their primary purpose on earth front and center: to magnify the Lord Jesus Christ to everyone around them and anyone who will listen!

If you’re reading this, for the love of God, help your small group members learn how to be a friend and reach a friend for Christ and disciple that person! This must become our driving passion in small group and cell group ministry in this country!

This article originally appeared here.

How My ADHD Makes Me Successful in Kids’ Ministry

Andrew VanDerLinden

February 23, 2017

“Your son will not sit still and is always talking to the other students.”

This was what my parents heard at nearly every one of my parent teacher conferences growing up. It didn’t matter how many times I was scolded, corrected or punished. I had no control over when I would socialize with others.

While I have never been officially diagnosed with “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder”(ADHD), I have heard it many times from family, friends and colleagues growing up.

ADHD is a medical condition that affects a person’s ability to focus, pay attention or control their behavior.

While most would think of ADHD as a disadvantage, I’ve learned to harness its powers.

I have turned a weakness into a strength. Here are a few examples.

Energetic: I’ve always seemed to have an endless amount of energy. I’ve learned to channel that toward my ministry to children. It’s like a super power for working with kids.
Spontaneous: Some call it impulsivity; I think of it as spontaneity. I use that spontaneity to break free from the status quo and try new things. Kids love new things.
Creative & Inventive: Kids ministry is all about creativity. I harness my creativity to create new and exciting ways to present the gospel. Through stories, objects and creative teaching methods.
Hyper-focused: This can be a great strength or weakness, just ask my wife. I am often able to intently focus on a task and tune out the world around me. This allows me to work on projects or assignments with extreme focus until completion without breaking concentration.

Now let’s get specific. We all have kids with short attention spans in our ministries. Kids who struggle to focus, pay attention or control their behavior.

Here are six things I do in my ministry because of my personal experience with ADHD.

Every kid is different. I know that attention spans and ability to focus is different for every child. So I don’t expect every child to respond the same way to every teaching method. When a child loses focus I don’t blame the child, I blame the teaching method and ask, “Are we the most exciting thing going on in the room right now?” I keep the most exciting thing in the room on stage or in front of the kids.
I plan services that engage all the senses. I don’t just talk at kids. I captivate all their senses.
I keep my service segments short (five to seven) minutes. I am constantly changing between different teaching tools (stories, objects, videos, music, etc.).
I allow time for verbal interaction. Kids want to talk, I give time every week throughout the service for the kids to express themselves verbally.
Kids also struggle to sit still. I build in opportunity for them to move around and express themselves physically. We play games, alternate from sitting and standing, we also get up and move around during worship. If I sense that I am losing the kids, I will have them all stand up and do some type of physical expression.
I don’t shame kids who get fidgety, talkative, disruptive. I look for creative ways to refocus their attention or I move on to the next segment.

Every one of us has children in our ministry that won’t sit still, don’t pay attention, have a double dose of energy. With a little creativity and forethought we can engage even the most energetic kids in our ministry.

Question: What would you add to this list? What have you done to engage children with short attention spans or unlimited amounts of energy?

This article originally appeared here.

3 Reasons to Go on Mission This Summer

Michael Guyer

February 23, 2017

What are you doing this summer?

Every college students gets this question. And there are plenty of options to choose from:

Enjoy relaxing at home
Take a beach trip (or two)
Work a part-time job and enjoy some free time
Work a full-time job and make some money
Take summer classes
Get an internship

All of these are good options and may even be the right option for you this summer. However, I want you to consider another option: go on mission. There is nothing that has the potential to change your life more than using one (or more) of your summers to spend and be spent for the sake of the gospel.

Let me share how I spent my summers in college. My first summer, I served as an intern to the lead pastor at my local church. I was mentored, entrusted with ministry responsibility, and learned the inner workings of the local church. My second summer, I was sent out to the middle east. I learned Arabic, I built friendships with unbelievers, shared the gospel and served alongside a long-term team on the ground. My third summer, I served as intern in the student ministry at my local church. I planned events, discipled students, led Bible studies, went to summer camp and was invested in by the student ministry staff. Now, I recognize my path may not be the same as yours. Here’s what I know though: God uses the seasons we surrender to him to better prepare us for a lifetime of ministry regardless of our vocation. Little did I know God would use all of these experiences in different ways to shape my passions and calling for future ministry. For those not pursuing vocational ministry, going on mission for at least one summer will change the way you approach your career and will help you better understand God’s calling on your life in the marketplace.

So, what about you? What are you doing this summer?

Let me encourage you with three reasons to go on mission this summer:

1. The gospel compels you

My prayer for college students is that they would be so gripped by the gospel that it would compel them to give their life to advancing it wherever they find themselves. Indeed, the gospel compels us by lifting our eyes to the glory of God and reminding us of the need of humanity.

The gospel displays God’s glory in the perfect, sinless Son of God bearing the full weight of God’s judgement of our sin. It displays God’s glory in accomplishing God’s perfect plan to redeem sinners and restore all things. It displays God’s glory in uniting Jews and Gentiles, people from all nations, into the family of God.

For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” —2 Corinthians 4:5-6

The gospel also reminds us of the need of humanity and the weight of sin. It reminds us of the weight of sin in that God himself had to take on flesh and die on the cross. It reminds us of the weight of sin in that apart from hearing and responding to the gospel, people will die in their sin. It reminds us of the weight of sin in that people are blinded to seeing the glory of God in the face of Jesus.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. —2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Seeing the glory of God and feeling the weight of sin, how can we not move toward the lost with the gospel? How can we stay silent or sit still when we have come to know and enjoy the hope of the gospel? The gospel pushes us outside of ourselves toward others for the glory of God. Whether you stay at home or go to the nations, the gospel compels us to live on mission!

So ask yourself: How am I going to respond to the gospel in my own life this summer?

Continue

The Resuscitated Church

Thom Rainer

February 23, 2017

She was on her deathbed.

Every breath was laborious. Every breath was more difficult.

Those who surrounded her knew the end was imminent. It was only matter of time—a very brief time.

But the impossible became the possible. The dying lady survived. In fact, she not only survived, her outlook is very promising today.

Hers is a true story of resuscitation: from the brink of death to survival to improved health to a healthy life.

What about churches? Can a church experience a similar miraculous recovery? Admittedly, I have only seen a few churches with the same story of resuscitation. But I have seen a sufficient enough number to make some concise observations. These observations are among the most encouraging events I have ever witnessed.

How did these few churches go from near death to vibrant life? Here are their stories.

A prolonged period of prayer. The members knew that only a miracle of God could save their church. So they decided to set aside a period of prayer, usually a few weeks or a couple of months. Members would gather after the worship service. Some would gather in homes. They would admit their total dependence on God. And they would place everything about their churches at His mercy and in His will.
A covenant to forsake self. When a church dies, there is the predictable prologue of self-centered, self-serving membership. Church members argue about the style of music, the length of the sermon, the types of ministries and programs, and even the type of furniture in the church. Membership becomes about me, myself and I. In the resuscitated church, the members covenant to put self last. They agree they will not demand their way, but seek to put others first. Some of the churches even create a written covenant.
A willingness to kill sacred cows. This process is often an extension of the previous commitment. As the members covenant to forsake self, they commit to doing away with programs, ministries, events, rooms, furniture or anything that has become a sacred cow. They often don’t see those sacred cows until their eyes have been opened in the prolonged period of prayer.
A commitment to see through the eyes of the outsider. As the members continue to forsake self, they begin to ask how the church is viewed from the perspective of the outsider. They may actually engage a person to visit their church and share their experience. It is amazing to see how this process transforms facilities, worship, greeters’ ministry and children’s ministries, to name a few.
An agreement to connect and invite. Members commit to be intentional about developing relationships with people outside the church. They set prayer goals of how many people they will invite to church each month. The church begins moving from an inward focus to an outward focus.
A decision to move beyond the negative naysayers. This core of members realizes that not everyone will be on board. There will always be those who view church as a spiritual country club with perks and privileges. Indeed, in most of these resuscitated churches, there was stiff resistance, adamant opposition and financial threats. But the members were loving but firm. No longer would their church be controlled by the naysayers, critics and bullies. They would stand together and stand with others who were attacked and maligned.

Is church resuscitation common? No.

Is church resuscitation possible? Yes.

In God’s power, yes.

Are you willing to be a part of the resuscitation of your church?

Learning From the Past

Doug Munton

February 23, 2017

Our church just recognized our sesquicentennial. That is a dandy of a word that means we were formed 150 years ago. By the standards of Europe it isn’t so much, but Illinois isn’t Europe. So, a sesquicentennial (that really is a dandy of a word!) is not as common here.

One hundred fifty years ago, First Baptist Church of O’Fallon, Ill., was formed at what was then just a small railroad stop. Over the years we have had some ups and downs. The church nearly closed in 1973. But for the last 40-plus years the church has grown steadily and has become a rather large congregation.

We aren’t perfect as we are made up of people. We have had imperfect leaders as they, too, have been people. But God has had his hand on this congregation and has blessed the church in ways that are difficult to explain apart from God.

Since I’ve been more immersed in our history than usual, I want to reflect on some lessons we have learned from our past 150 years.

A good foundation matters. The church was Bible based and God centered from the beginning. The founders wanted the spread of the gospel message and evangelistic zeal to be at the heart of the church, and that foundation saw them through many early difficulties.
Faith in the Lord is crucial. We don’t place our faith in people as we are all “prone to wander” as the old song says. We have had great leaders over the years. But our faith is rightly placed in the Lord and in His plans and purposes and not in ours.
Big steps of faith are needed in every generation. Building the first building was huge. It burned to the ground one night and the next generation built a brick building in its place. Growth caused the church to run out of space (parking needs were different in 1867) and relocation was a big step of faith. Going to multiple worship services and Sunday Schools and building the slew of buildings since were all massive undertakings.
The old guys had some good ideas. Beware of moving markers until you know why they were put up. The previous generations had some great ideas and we want to take the best of all they had to offer and honor their sacrifices.
Change is inevitable. Just as newborns change from babies to adults, churches must change. Parking needs, as mentioned earlier, have changed greatly. So have the programs and music and methodology of our church. About the only things that haven’t changed are God’s truth and man’s need.
People matter. God loves this sinful race. We are whiny and wimpy even after salvation. But God loves us and calls us and works through us. We need each other and God blesses us together.
Remembering the past can help us dream about the future. I’m asking God for faith like my forefathers. I’m asking Him to help us dream big dreams and plan big plans and do great things for His glory just like they did. Faith can be sort of contagious, it seems.

The past is past and we can live only in the present. But maybe we can learn some lessons from bygone days that will benefit us now as we face the future. Now, time to start thinking about the bicentennial!

Truth Is Not Personal

Why Slow Down

1. We are pursuing transformation, not information.

2. Real growth takes a long time.

3. Goals matter and develop over time.

4. We cannot love what we do not linger over.

God Speed

Women lead smaller churches while facing more criticism

Women leaving the church

What opportunities are available to the church as a result of these findings?

WE GET GOD.

WE SEE IN HD.

WE KNOW OURSELVES.

WE WALK WITH JESUS.

1. Control Is Often a Substitute for a Lack of Clear Strategy or Alignment

“Your son will not sit still and is always talking to the other students.”

While most would think of ADHD as a disadvantage, I’ve learned to harness its powers.

Here are six things I do in my ministry because of my personal experience with ADHD.

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