I admit it—I have a temper. I’m generally able in God’s grace to control it, and to my knowledge, few people have ever seen it displayed. I know, though, that I’m not the only pastor who deals with this issue. Here are my thoughts about why so many pastors carry this trait:

1. Many of us were saved out of homes where anger was a reality. Whether we like it or not, we who lived in an angry atmosphere often picked up that same characteristic. Our redemption frees us from its bondage but doesn’t always eradicate the tendency.
2. We’re often perfectionists. We don’t want to fail God, our congregation or ourselves. We’re better at offering grace to others than to ourselves—and our response to failure is often defeat and anger.
3. Some of us have no outlet for frustration. That’s neither good nor right, but it’s reality. We sometimes have no true friends with whom we can be transparently honest before anger gets out of control.
4. Some days, it feels like weighty pastoral pressures never end. Some ministry needs are life-and-death. Others affect homes, marriages and generations. When pastoral stress seems non-stop, it’s easy to let little things give rise to anger.
5. Many of us don’t take care of ourselves spiritually. Our time with God is reduced to sermon preparation alone, and prayer is on an “emergency” basis. Consequently, we hardly exhibit the fruit of the Spirit.
6. Many of us don’t take care of ourselves physically. We don’t eat well, exercise well, or rest well or vacation well. Tired, out-of-shape, undisciplined leaders are increasingly vulnerable to displays of anger.
7. Some church structures give us permission to be angry. That is, pastors who have little accountability, or who are given reign over their own church kingdom, have few stop signs to expressing anger.
8. Sometimes our role demands righteous anger. It is not ungodly to be angry at the effects of injustice. Church members are sometimes so sinfully rude that anger is a valid response. The difficulty is walking that line without allowing our anger to become sin.
9. Too often, we have private sin that haunts us. Internal sin often displays itself with a short fuse. Actually, increasing anger is one of the signs I watch for when I’m worried about a brother’s private life.
10. We ignore the reality of spiritual warfare. Maybe we talk about it when a friend falls into some obvious sin like adultery or drunkenness or pornography—but not anger. Meanwhile, the devil works in deceived, angry hearts to slaughter pastors, homes and ministries.

What would you add to this list? How might we pray for you if anger is an issue?

This article originally appeared here.

As summer approaches, ministry leaders in many churches will spend time recruiting and training new leaders to serve in their church’s kids ministry, the youth ministry, and to lead groups and classes for adults. If you are approached and asked, here are six reasons you should say yes:

1. You will learn more deeply.

If you are showing up each week at church and only learning, you are not learning as much as you could if you started also feeding others. You have likely heard this many times; a teacher or leader will say, “I am getting way more out of this than you are.” The reason we hear this so frequently is because it is true. As a leader prepares to lead others, the leader is sharpened. As a teacher prepares to feed others, the teacher is fed.

2. You will be able to articulate the faith more clearly.

The great theologian Helmut Thielicke required all of his doctoral students to teach kids while they were studying theology for their advanced degrees. He knew that if you really understood theology, you could articulate it to someone else—even to a child. Articulating truth to real people helps you really learn it.

3. You will give of yourself more freely.

Christians give of themselves not to earn favor with Christ but because Christ gave of Himself for us. When you lead a group of kids, students or adults and you pray for those you are leading, you will find yourself loving them more than you imagined and giving of yourself more than you planned. And you will know you are a part of something very significant.

4. You will impact others exponentially.

An investment you make in others is not a short-term investment. It impacts the lives of those you serve and the lives of people they will serve. The middle school student you pour into will one day have his own family. The young couple you invest in will make an impact in their careers. The ripple effect of ministering to others is profound.

5. You will be stewarding your gifts and His grace faithfully.

You are included in the body of Christ, and you have been gifted to serve the body. If you are a Christian, He has qualified and gifted you to serve. The Scripture is clear that “just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God” (1 Peter 4:10). You get to steward the grace of God and distribute it to others as you use your gift!

6. You will be investing eternally.

The last lines from Charles Studd’s famous poem are a helpful reminder: “Only one life ’twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” When you are invited to pour the teachings of Christ into others, you are being invited to invest in what will last. You are being invited to make an eternal impact in the lives of others. This invitation is too compelling to turn down.

This article originally appeared here.

The venting of the proverbial spleen seems to be the order of the day from cable news to social media and sometimes even in interpersonal interactions. We like to hear someone who agrees with our views “tell it like it is,” especially if the telling involves a few zingers against people whose views offend us. We thrive on this kind of outrage because it appeals to our sense of self-righteous indignation. It feels oh so good to be oh so right. And there’s nothing quite as satisfying as dressing down “those people” who don’t agree with us.

This spirit is destructive wherever it is found, but it is especially destructive when it stands behind a pulpit. Even for preachers, it can be tempting to turn the pulpit into a platform for outrage. When that happens, preaching can become more an expression of a carnal pastor’s irritations than a shepherd’s care for the people of God. This is not to say that preachers must avoid confronting sin. It is to say that whenever you have to confront someone, it matters how you say what you say—even if what you are saying is right.

Paul seems to have had this dynamic in mind in exhorting young pastor Timothy about how he was to address the different people in his congregation. In 1 Timothy 5:1-2, Paul says this:

¹ Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, ² older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

At first blush, it can be a little confusing to hear Paul forbid Timothy from “rebuking.” Is Paul really saying that pastors must never “rebuke” anyone in the congregation? Doesn’t that contradict what Paul has said elsewhere about the necessity of rebuking false teachers (1 Tim. 1:3; 2 Tim. 2:25; Tit. 1:9)? Doesn’t it contradict what the Bible says generally about the goodness of a faithful rebuke (Prov. 17:10; 27:5; 28:23)?

There really is no contradiction, however, as the problem is mainly one of English translation. The word translated as “rebuke” in the ESV probably isn’t strong enough. Rebukes can be life-giving and helpful, but that is not the kind of “rebuke” in view here. The literal sense of the term is to beat something with your fists. It is a term that in certain contexts suggests physical violence. But the word also has a figurative meaning that refers to verbal violence. The NIV’s “speak harshly” captures what Paul is trying to communicate. It is possible to abuse someone with fists. It is also possible to abuse someone with words. And Paul is saying that the pastor is forbidden from verbally assaulting his congregants. A pastor sins when he lords his authority over the flock by berating them (1 Pet. 5:3).

If we were to fill in the ellipses, the sense of Paul’s exhortation would go like this:

Do not speak harshly to an older man but exhort him as you would a father.
Do not speak harshly to younger men, but exhort them as brothers.
Do not speak harshly to older women, but exhort them as mothers.
Do not speak harshly to younger women, but exhort them as sisters, in all purity.

In this way, Paul tells Timothy not to obliterate but to conciliate with his words.

The term translated as “encourage” in the ESV usually has the sense of strongly appealing to someone, urging them or exhorting them to do something. Clearly, Paul has in view the manner in which a pastor exhorts his people, and this certainly applies to his teaching and preaching ministry. The term translated as “encourage” also has the added sense of speaking in a conciliatory, friendly manner. Paul wants Timothy to know that even if the pastor must bring a confrontation, he must do it in a way that respects the person he is talking to.

A wise and courageous pastor will always remember the wisdom of Solomon when exhorting his people: “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18). A good pastor is not going to use his words like a sword but like a scalpel. A sword and a scalpel are both made for cutting. But a sword is for killing. A scalpel is for healing. Even in confrontation, a pastor’s aim is not to deliver the coup de grâce but to heal.

Some pastors seem to believe that if they aren’t getting through to their people, that means they need to yell louder. But Paul says that a good pastor must not hammer people with his words. Instead, a good pastor will do his ministry with a sensitivity to the different kinds of people that he ministers to. It matters how a pastor treats people. And a pastor must not treat the congregation in an undifferentiated way. He must treat people in a way that respects their age and station of life. A pastor will minister to all different kinds of people in a given congregation, but Paul tells Timothy to treat every one of them like family. And there are appropriate ways to treat family members.

First, Paul says that the Timothy must not speak harshly to “an older man” but exhort him as he would a father. Paul wants Timothy to know that he should avoid talking down to a man who is older than he is. Even if an older man is wrong and needs correction, Timothy must not draw the sword but the scalpel. He needs to speak with the same respect that he would accord to his own father. If a pastor pulls a sword, he may destroy the older man. Or it is just as likely that the older man may draw his sword as well, and the verbal fisticuffs can cause division and get out of hand very quickly. It is always good to remember that “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1).

Second, Paul says that Timothy must not speak harshly to “younger men” but exhort them as brothers. Addressing younger men is different than addressing older men. Both situations require respect, but it will be expressed in different way. A pastor will not say “Yes, Sir” and “No, Sir” to a younger man, but neither will he talk down to them. He must treat younger men like brothers. A man must not draw the sword on his own flesh and blood, and that is what a younger brother is in the body of Christ. A pastor must respect the younger men in a way that is due their age and station. This calls for honestly, truthfulness and forbearance.

Third, Paul says that Timothy must not speak harshly to “older women” but exhort them as mothers. A pastor must not treat women who are his senior with careless disregard. He must care for them and speak to them like he would his own mother. The respect required for older men is also called for in relating to older women. But there may be an added dynamic that Paul wishes to accent. A man has a kind of built-in protectiveness when it comes to his own mother. Perhaps Paul is appealing to this sensibility as well and calling pastors to have a sense of protectiveness about the elder women of the congregation.

Paul’s final exhortation relates to the pastor’s treatment of the young women in the congregation. Because Paul adds a requirement of “purity” to this exhortation, we will consider this one in a separate post tomorrow.

This article originally appeared here.