55 of the Cheesiest Christian Pick-up Lines You’ve Ever Heard

Christian Pick-up Lines: Cheesiest You've Ever Heard

Christian pick-up lines are funny, awkward, cheesy, and if I ever hear my sons use them when they get older I’ll disown them in the blink of an eye! (Either that or use it on my wife and see if it works. LOL.)

Men…ladies…are you guilty of ever using lame Christian pick-up lines like these? Hilarious!

1. I would part the Red Sea for you.

2. Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives…because he never met you.

3. What are you doing for the rest of your afterlife?

4. Did you say your name was Esther? Oh, I guess I just think you were chosen for such a time as this.

5. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

6. Ten percent of me is 100 percent certain that I can give you 10 percent of my heart forever.

7. I feel like God’s telling me that you should go on a date with me.

8. For you, I would slay two Goliaths!

9. Let’s be like Noah and do this as a pair.

10. You must be Egyptian because I’m a slave for you.

11. The word says to ‘give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; so how about dinner tonight?

12. You and me, we’re like loaves and fishes. We just might be a miracle together.

13. Do you want to be accountability partners?

14. On first dates, I always take girls to get BBQ ribs. It feels the most biblical considering they came from one.

15. I know you’ve already said no once, but call me Joshua because I’m going to break down your walls.

16. I’m no Joseph, but I’m having trouble interpreting the dreams I’ve been having about you. (Um, careful, you stalker.)

17. I don’t know if you noticed, but when you walked into the room, that was me giving up a clap offering.

18. I may not have a job right now, and I may live in my parents’ basement, but I swear to you I’m storing up treasure in heaven and my mansion is gonna rock.

19. Wanna come over and watch Left Behind?

20. You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.

21. You are perfect, except with all the sin.

22. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. (I tried this on my wife and…um…it didn’t work.)

23. How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?

24. Unfortunately I can’t perform miracles, and I’ve only got enough bread and fish for two people.

25. It’s obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil.

26. If we were around with Noah…then you, me…pair!

27. Let me sell you an indulgence because it’s a sin to look as good as you do.

28. Do you need prayer? Because I’m certainly willing to lay hands on you. (Um, careful, this one could get you arrested.)

29. Look, you’re nearly 22. Most Christians are three years into marriage by now…just settle for me.

30. My parents are home, wanna come over?

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Charles Specht
Charles Specht is a bi-vocational pastor in central California, as well as the managing editor of GodlyWriters.com. He is married to his wife, Kathy, and has five children, two of whom were adopted from China. On his personal website CharlesSpecht.com, he blogs about the intersection of intentional faith and Christian leadership. You can connect with him on Twitter (@CharlesSpecht), Facebook (AuthorCharlesSpecht), Google+ and LinkedIn.