The day after he made a blood covenant with Satan in December of 2018, Samuel Bishop decided to take his own life, which had been difficult and painful up to that point. He had turned to the occult to gain a sense of self-worth and control.
“I said well, if nobody wants to accept me, maybe there’s nothing worth accepting in me,” said Bishop, referring to his childhood in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN). “If my parents can’t love me…what am I really worth?”
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The Occult Seems To Offer Bishop Stability
Bishop came to this conclusion about himself after growing up with a mother who was addicted to drugs and with a father who was a violent alcoholic and who was in and out of prison. Bishop says his earliest memories are of roaches crawling on him while he was sleeping. “It was just terrible,” he said. “There was always this feeling of just chaos all throughout the household.”
At age four, Bishop spent two years in the foster care system, going from family to family. By age 15, he was living with his father and was drinking, using drugs and battling depression. He felt that his life had no meaning and would never change, which he describes as a “crushing feeling.”
“I constantly felt this suicidal pressure,” said Bishop. who would drink and use more to escape his depression. He enlisted in the Army after high school, but was discharged after two months due to his substance abuse and mental health problems. He moved back in with his dad and began working as a high school janitor, but continued to spiral as he began using meth and heroin and engaged in toxic romantic relationships.
Bishop says that he did not turn to God at this time because thought God’s love was based on people’s performance and believed “God’s expectations are too high for me.”
Around this time, he met a Wiccan high priestess, who introduced him to the occult. Occult practices gave Bishop a sense of control and self-worth he had never experienced in his life. “There’d be manifestations, like stuff would move around,” he said. “I’d do a spell or ritual or something, and I’d see something happen as a result of it. And I thought, man, I’m in control. And I loved that feeling of, I have power.”
In December 2018, Bishop decided to make a blood covenant dedicating himself to Satan, but this was a decision he immediately regretted. He said, “I felt in that moment complete emptiness, a complete just hole like there’s nothing in me at all.” He concluded, “There’s no more forgiveness. You’re going to hell now.”
