Many well-meaning Christians often want to baptize their aspirations and decisions with divine approval. It’s not uncommon to hear young people encouraged to figure out who, where and what God might be “calling” them to. Consider three little anecdotal stories. John is talking with some friends when he confidently announces that he has met the girl he will marry. When asked how he can be certain he says God has called him to take her as his wife. Susie is getting ready to graduate high school and decides to go to a particular university. When asked why, she says God has called her to go to that school. Ben works as a plumber. When asked why he chose that profession he says God has called him to that work. Do you see the pattern?

While it may not gain me popularity points, I want to rethink this common idea of God’s calling. Biblically, the call of God is used in reference to our salvation and to Apostolic office (see, e.g., Romans 1:1 and 1 Corinthians 1:1). Foregoing the second of these, the Bible says we have been “called to belong to Jesus Christ” (Romans 1:6) and “called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:30). We’re “called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 1:2) and “called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:9). We have been “called to freedom” (Galatians 5:13) and called into a hope that is “the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints” (Ephesians 1:18). We have received the “upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14) and are to “walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory” (1 Thessalonians 2:12). And you are to be “diligent to confirm your calling and election” (2 Peter 1:10). The dominant use of “call” in the New Testament is directed toward our initiation, identity, hope and destiny in Jesus Christ. In all of that, and there are dozens more that could be mentioned, the Bible never mentions God’s call in relation to your individual aspirations and decisions.

Practically, what does this mean? Well, if I can put it this way, it means you don’t need a divine calling in order to confirm the decisions of your life. For the sake of clarity, that doesn’t mean you aren’t to discern God’s will or that God doesn’t guide us. The Apostle Paul tells us to “be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). But God’s will doesn’t come to us by some spiritual experience many people see as a “divine calling.” As John Newton once asked: “How then may the Lord’s guidance be expected? In general, he guides and directs his people, by affording them, in answer to prayer, the light of his Holy Spirit, which enables them to understand and to love the Scriptures.” Discerning God’s will and guidance comes to us in the Bible and we need to be content with that. The specific details of his individual plan are things that can only be known in retrospect. For instance, God isn’t going to call you to marry a specific person by name but he does specify the kind of person you should marry—a godly man or a godly woman. God isn’t going to call you to attend a particular school or study in a specific program but he does specify that you are to be a good steward of the gifts and resources he has given—guarding against debt and honoring him. God isn’t going to call you to take a specific job but he does specify how you need to work—in the six days he’s given you with honesty and integrity as one working for the Lord. We need to stop thinking that our decisions need to be made or supported with a sense of divine calling.

I write this as a point of pastoral concern. Even though we’re well-meaning when we encourage people to discern God’s “calling” in their life there are some potential (if not inevitable) consequences. First, it detracts from the sufficiency of the Bible. Paul wrote to Timothy and said: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:17). That means the Bible is enough for faith and life. As Sinclair Ferguson observed: “If there is one critical issue we must face about divine guidance it is this one. Is Scripture our guide? Is Scripture ultimately ‘the only rule to direct us how we may glorify’ God?” Mystical or not, you don’t need a calling in addition to, above, beyond or aside from what you are given in the Bible. Our desperate need is to be trained by the Spirit to bring the Bible’s precepts and principles into our aspirations and decisions.

Secondly, when we stamp “the call of God” over our daily or life changing decisions we are making a very serious claim. Biblically, when God did—by an act of revelation—call a person to something, the only appropriate response was unwavering and unhesitating obedience. This is illustrated well in the story of Jonah. When God called the Prophet and said “Go” and Jonah said “No,” the Lord pursued him to death (see Jonah 2:5). That’s the gravity of invoking the call of God in your aspirations and decisions. If it is God’s call that you marry a specific person, study a specific subject or take a specific job, it would require nothing but complete and total obedience outside of which you would be in sin to do something else.

Thirdly, it causes unnecessary stress and anxiety. The Christian life is one where we are called to be holy. As Paul wrote: “For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness” (1 Thessalonians 4:7). It is the daily struggle of every Christian to live in a manner worthy of that calling. Why unnecessarily press upon people the need to seek a divine calling that the Bible never speaks of? I remember giving a talk at a college conference a couple years ago. Part of my talk was about our ordinary obedience. I noted that it wasn’t our responsibility to figure out the detailed plan that God has for our life and then live in obedience to that. Our obedience is measured in our conformity to the Bible which is the only rule of how we are to glorify God. When I finished a young woman came up to me and said: “That’s so refreshing! No one has ever told me that. All my life I’ve been told I need to figure out God’s specific call for my life—what I should study, where I should work and who I should marry. It’s as exhausting as it is exasperating!” Exactly! It’s a yoke we aren’t intended to bear. As wisdom teaches us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

So here’s my suggestion: You don’t need a divine calling to confirm the decisions in your life. In a sermon, Augustine once famously said, “Love, and do what you will.” Not to tinker unnecessarily with the words of Augustine, but if I can modify that slightly I would say: Glorify God in whatever you do, and do what you want. Glorify God in your relationships, and marry who you will. Glorify God in your studies, and study what you will. Glorify God in your job, and work where you will. Glorify God, and do what you want.

This article originally appeared here.

The prophet Malachi is proof that there truly is nothing new under the sun. In the prophecy that bears his name, he charged the religious people of his day (the groups that would later become the Pharisees) with a trait that is uncomfortably common in the church today.

Malachi told the Israelites that they were religious…but self-centered in their family lives. This was demonstrated by their behavior in marriage: “The man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with injustice” (2:16 CSB).

Here’s what was happening: Many of the Jewish men had taken a fancy to foreign women, who worshipped other gods, and they were marrying them instead of godly Hebrew women. Some were even divorcing the wives of their youth to marry these women.

God confronts them in two ways. “First of all,” he says, “your marriage was a covenant you made before me, and it was supposed to reflect my love. Second, one of my primary intentions in your marriage was to raise up godly children” (cf. Malachi 2:15).

But the Israelites had started to look at marriage as if it were all about them and their wants and desires.

In Malachi’s day, as in ours, divorce was not usually the problem; it’s the fruit of the problem. The root is a life that is self-centered. The problem is that people go into marriage looking for someone to complete them or make them happy, and when their spouse quits doing that or gets difficult to live with or they meet someone they think might do it better for them, they get divorced.

This self-centered approach to marriage even affects how a lot of people think about children. They think of in terms of what they want and what will add enjoyment to their lives. Most people still want a kid or two in our day. But as our society has gotten more self-centered, we’ve tended to have less children. After all, kids are inconvenient. They make life messy. They’re expensive. (Veronica and I sometimes refer to our kids by names like “Beach House” and “Corvette Collection” because of how much they cost us each year.)

I get it; kids are tough. But if the only purpose we have for our children is accessorizing our lives, we’ve gone terribly off course. One of God’s primary purposes for marriage is producing godly offspring for the purpose of his kingdom. If we’re more concerned with our standard of life than God’s intentions for our family, Malachi has a harsh word for us.

I can’t judge your heart. And I certainly don’t want to imply a hard-and-fast correlation between holiness and family size (which is often outside of our control). But I can ask you who are married or thinking about getting married to consider: What is your motive for having kids? Is it to accessorize and add value to your life, or is it about God’s kingdom?

Marriage and family are not about us. They are about God. But when we make them about us, divorce becomes a lot more common and kids become a preference.

When I know that marriage is about God, I’ll stick it out in hard times, because I know God’s name, not my needs, is the ultimate thing of importance.

I’ll understand that God can bring himself glory in my marriage by giving me a peaceful, harmonious relationship—but he can also bring glory to himself by enabling me to love someone with grace even when she’s difficult, because that’s how he loves me.

God says that he hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) because it tells the world a lie about his love. When we divorce because we are no longer getting along or because our spouse is no longer making us happy, we tell the world that God’s love is like that—that he loves us based on how sufficiently we meet his needs. The divorce problem we have in the church isn’t just bad for our families; it’s feeding the world a deadly deceit.

Marriage is supposed to be an earthly picture of God’s love. I hear of couples who divorce because of “irreconcilable differences.” All I can say to this is that Jesus has all kinds of “irreconcilable differences” with you and me. But he loved us anyway, and through his persistent grace he changes our hearts. Now we get a chance to demonstrate God’s love in our marriages in the way we unselfishly serve and love our spouse.

Couples don’t fall out of love. They fall out of repentance. They don’t falter in their passion for each other; they falter in their worship of God.

Let ours be the generation that begins to reverse this trend. The stakes could not be higher.

This article originally appeared here.

There was a time when you could plant and grow a church simply by informing people about the new church—and you were guaranteed to have a growing church! I wrote about that here.

That was the case when Western culture was considered to be a Christian culture, also known as Christendom. But it wasn’t always that way. There was a time when the church was persecuted and marginalized by the Roman Empire. And then, somehow, the church ended up at the center of power in Western society.

How did that happen?

How Did the Age of Christendom Begin?

The era we call Christendom could be said to have begun when the Roman emperor, Constantine, converted to Christianity in 312 A.D. Christianity was legalized the following year when Constantine issued the Edict of Milan, giving Christianity “a position of privileged equality with other religions” (Alan Kreider, The Change of Conversion and the Origin of Christendom, p. 33).

This changed everything for Christianity. Up until this time, the church had been in a position of weakness in the Roman Empire. The period of Christendom began the moment Constantine announced his edict and thrust the church into a position of power.

This was a totally new situation for the church. Barry A. Harvey, in Another City, states:

“With the conversion of Constantine…the church faced a new situation for which it was largely unprepared. The same empire that had regularly ridiculed (and from time to time persecuted) the members of Christ’s body was now expressing interest in their story of salvation and its criteria of true universality, even to the point of inviting the church to order the imperial household” (p. 71).

Can you imagine experiencing such an incredible change in your circumstances?!

Since the emperor himself now claimed to be a Christian, Christianity was no longer a ridiculed and persecuted religion. Instead, it took on a place of advantage and entitlement in the Roman Empire.

But this led to a whole new challenge…

Losing the Mission

Now that the church was in a position of power, the challenge for the church would be to maintain its identity and sense of mission in light of this incredible development. Unfortunately, the change was so radical that the church all but lost sight of its mission.

Harvey puts it this way: “The eventual result of this near-fusion [of church and empire] was the loss of focus on the church’s missionary identity” (p. 81).

A New Kind of Christianity

So here’s what ultimately happened. A whole new understanding of “Christian” began to emerge. This new understanding stemmed in part from the fact that Constantine was neither catechized nor baptized until shortly before his death.

Did you get that? Do you realize what that means?

Throughout his life as a “Christian,” Constantine refused to submit to the teaching of the church and to Jesus’ command to be baptized.

As a result, “Constantine offered the world a new possibility of an unbaptized, uncatechized person who nevertheless somehow was a Christian” (Harvey, p. 37). This led to a whole new breed of Christianity, one that did not require conversion or commitment.

This new and unfamiliar brand of Christianity developed over a fairly short period of time. Harvey writes that before Constantine’s reign, “Christians constituted a distinct minority in the empire…. Recent estimates place the percentage of Christians in the empire around 300 C.E. at about 10 percent” (p. 67).

However, this quickly changed once Constantine became a Christian. Harvey goes on to say that “within a relatively short span of time being a Christian was the accepted norm of imperial society…. By the middle of the fourth century C.E. over 50 percent of the population had been baptized” (p. 68).

This is an incredible departure from the church’s pre-Constantinian existence. It’s no wonder the church was unable to maintain its sense of mission in light of such huge change.

And Here We Are…

This was the church’s reality for over 1,500 years. The church has been at the center of society with no mission because when you’re born into a Christendom culture it’s just assumed that you’re a Christian.

It’s no wonder the church in the West today is struggling so much with its Post-Christendom existence. Over the past 1,500 years, we’ve gotten used to being at the power-center of culture.

Unfortunately—or, rather, fortunately!—that’s just not our reality anymore.

This article originally appeared here.

1. Spiritually Fit.

Putting this into a spiritual context, Christian women should yearn for a man who is frequently exercising his spiritual muscles. Maybe he attends a Bible class, midweek service, home group or even a men’s Bible Study. Regardless of what his spiritual workouts looks like, any woman who is seeking a godly man should find someone who is constantly refining his relationship with Christ.

2. Calm and collected.

Proverbs 14:29 states, “If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.” A woman after God should always seek a man who can collect his temper, hold his anger and constantly seek to stay calm amidst trials and tribulations.

3. Someone who can lead.

Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “A leader is a dealer in hope.” And while I understand that not every man is destined to be a world-renowned leader, I do believe that each individual man in this world has a leadership role to fulfill within a marriage. Whether this role be filled by helping make big decisions, managing finances or even leading the family spiritually, every man is called to be a leader.

4. A trustworthy soul. 

He should inspire trustworthiness within you. If you don’t seek a man you can trust, you’ll probably end up making him as bitter as you’ll make yourself. Not worth it. If you can’t find a man you can trust, you should probably take some time away from pursuing. If there’s good reason not to trust him, don’t even think about pursuing a relationship with him.

5. Prayerful. 

A man who doesn’t pray is a man who doesn’t truly have a relationship with God. I encourage all women to seek after a guy who has a strong prayer life with the one who created him. A man worth pursuing is a man who seeks after God on a daily basis. A prayerful man will encourage a prayerful relationship.

6. Selfless.

He should care about others more than he cares about himself. Look at the way he treats her family and her friends. If he’s not close with his family, and doesn’t have any close friends, that’s probably a red flag. Some questions to ask yourself: Does he care about the needy? Does he go out and volunteer where it’s needed? Is he willing to give up the shirt off his back for someone in need? These are important characteristics to consider when looking for a man to spend your life with.

7. Ambitious.

Seek a man who has confidence in his skills, and uses them to pursue his dreams. Not only should this man seek to fulfill his God-given calling, but he should also empower his wife to pursue hers. Godly women should seek a man who is passionate about life, his calling and his marriage. Don’t get caught in a relationship with a man who is lazy.

8. Forgiving.

Don’t reach for a man who is unlikely to forgive. The last thing any woman of God wants is to be in a relationship with someone who holds resentment for mistakes, issues and misunderstandings. A forgiving man is a godly man. Seek a man who showcases the same love and grace as Jesus.

9. Loving.

1 John 4:8 says, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” We can conclude that any man who truly loves God is a man who loves without limitations. Women need to look for someone who is willing to showcase love no matter the circumstance. You don’t want to get caught in a relationship with someone who acts like showing love is worse than pulling teeth.

10. A good reputation.

Proverbs 22:1 states, “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.” And while many people might not necessarily agree, I believe any God-fearing woman should desire to seek a man whose reputation is always kept under control. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but joining a man whose reputation has fallen for a reason is something you should think twice about before accepting. Seek to be with a man who gets raving compliments when his name is brought up mid-conversation.

This article originally appeared here.

What I’m about to ask won’t be easy to answer.

When was the last time you did something outwardly “for God” that was actually inwardly motivated by personal gain?

That’s a hard question because it first requires the courage of humble honesty. It’s not easy for us to admit that we prioritize ourselves over our Lord and Savior.

But second, it’s a hard question because we struggle to see our motives, words and actions with biblical accuracy.

Let me rephrase the question and lead with personal confession, using two examples from my own life and ministry.

When was the last time you served someone you loved, not first because you wanted to freely sacrifice for their good, but because you were attempting to put them in your debt for later?

When was the last time you participated in a public ministry activity, not first because you wanted to build the Kingdom of God, but because you wanted other people to notice, respect, admire or accept you?

You see, in our everyday lives, the Kingdom of God and the kingdom of self are always at war with one another.

As long as sin remains, our motives, words and actions are shaped by a troublesome mix of the agenda of these two kingdoms.

So today, I want to give you five questions to ask of yourself regularly. These questions are not designed to beat you down with guilt, but to give you eyes to see the deceptive kingdom of self.

1. Self-Focus: Before making a decision, do you think, “What’s in it for me?” or do you freely sacrifice for the good of another without expecting a return?

2. Self-Righteousness: Are you more concerned with, and on the lookout for, the sin, weakness and moral failure of others than you are your own?

3. Self-Satisfaction: Do you feel regularly discontent, always looking for something new to satisfy you, instead of being satisfied with a God-honoring life?

4. Self-Reliance: Do you avoid living in intrusive and intentional relationships, where others admit their need for grace and seek the help of biblical community?

5. Self-Rule: Which law gets the most attention and the quickest response in your life and relationships, the Word of God or your own desires?

That’s a pretty devastating list of questions! Which of us could ever measure up to that standard?

But we have Good News—there is a Warrior Savior, and abundant grace for the battle of these two kingdoms!

On the Cross, Jesus broke the power of the kingdom of self. He paid the debt for every self-centered motive, word and action that we prioritize over biblical living.

On the Cross, Christ purchased power for us to obey, and with his resurrection, he guarantees that some day our kingdom conflict will be over.

Until then, your Lord battles zealously on your behalf, and he will never rest until the battle is over. Why don’t you commit yourself right now to be one of his soldiers?

God bless,

Paul Tripp

This resource is from Paul Tripp Ministries. For additional resources, visit www.paultripp.com. Used with permission.