The Church and the Single Person

July 18, 2017

The other day an acquaintance from college messaged me out of the blue, asking if I’d ever written about single people in the church. I was kind of taken aback, as he’s one of those guys who became fluent in Greek and Hebrew and listened to about 14 sermons and Church History lectures a day in his spare time. Not only that, but he has been married as long as I’ve known him and has a bundle of kids. Right after we graduated, he became a pastor in the midwest. In other words, this is a dude who has it all together on the ministry side of things.

So of all people, I was surprised that he would ask me for input when it comes to practical ministry in the church. Granted, it may have been a while since he was single and having to deal with the pressures and awkward conversations we face as singles in the church, but nonetheless, I have given a lot of thought to his question.

More specifically, he asked how churches can best minister to the single people in their congregations. I gave it a lot of thought and, though this post is far from comprehensive, this is what I have come up with:

No more segregation.

For some reason, the popular practice in the past decades in the American church has become to separate people by the season of life they are in. Many churches sequester the 60+ crowd into their own Sunday School classroom, while the Young Marrieds are in another. The youth group and children’s church have their clubs, of course, which often leaves that awkward gap for us single people to mingle in whichever classroom we happen to drift into.

I don’t think the answer to the question is to create “Singles” or “Young Adult” classes or groups. Assigning people a place to be based on the season of life they inhabit is not as helpful as overhauling the entire system of apartheid.

What I mean by that is, What good are we doing the members of our churches by separating them? Shouldn’t the oldest people who have been walking with God the longest be the ones mixed into small groups with younger people, mentoring them and helping them to walk in step with the Lord? And can’t the middle-aged couple pour into the newlyweds as their marriage builds muscle in its thighs and begins to walk?

One of the most unappealing things to me is the thought of going to a “singles mixer” at a church. I mean, how desperate am I? (Pretty desperate, honestly.) But the idea of going to this meeting where the entire premise is all these lonely souls searching for our better halves just grosses me out. I mean, talk about awkward pressure and forced conversations. Is this all the church is to single people? A mixer?

I think the issue is not with churches “doing singles ministry better,” but uniting their entire church as one. A family where all age groups and statuses interact. After all, isn’t that something Paul was adamant about across the pages of the New Testament? There is neither Jew or Greek, slave or free, man or woman, old or young, single or married, but all are united in faith in Christ.

After mulling the question over this past week, I reflected on which experiences have been the most fruitful as a single person in the church. I think the answer is, I grew the most by being in close contact with those who were not in the same category as I. How much can I really learn solely from other single people in their 20s? What can they learn from me? (A little of course, but you get my point…)

Many of the most formative hours of my life have been spent eating with college professors or meeting with influential writers or pastors decades older than me. Sure, there are the meaningful conversations I have with people my own age, but of all places, shouldn’t the church be a place for the coming together of people of all ages and seasons of life? Why do we feel the need to divvy ourselves up rather than come together?

Maybe what the lonely single person needs more than other lonely single people is to be poured into by older folks who have moved through where they are, and can give them hope and wisdom.

This past summer I was part of a class on addiction in Chicago, put on by my church for people of all ages who wanted to learn more. Due to the nature of the course, we all became very close and intimate very quickly. The nice thing is that the others in the class ranged from college students to 60-year-olds, and across the entire spectrum of marital statuses. And because of that, I got to hear firsthand accounts of porn and drug addiction from married couples, divorced men and women, and of course single people like me.

The beautiful thing about this class was that it was a holistic representation of the Body of Christ, from young to old, not just a segregated slice of it sitting by itself and spinning in circles.

So how should churches go about doing singles ministry better?

I think that’s the wrong question, and if we find ourselves asking it, we are probably already heading down the wrong path.

A better question is, how can we cultivate a church that simultaneously ministers to the 70-year-old couple and the 25-year-old-bachelor? What good is the church if it does not bring together the widow and the newlyweds and enable them to love one another uniquely in Christ? If grandparents want to hang out with people their own age, they can go to the YMCA or a bridge club. If I want people my own age, I’ll go to a coffee shop or join a sports league.

But we should go to church to interact with people with whom we have nothing in common except our union with Christ. As a single person, I don’t want to be stuck with other single people, but with a variety of people in a collection of life seasons. This is closer to the picture of unity Paul longed for, and the best place for real growth to occur. Not only that, but it makes the single people feel less dissociated and awkward.

There isn’t anything wrong with us. And I think the last thing we want from a church is special treatment. Or “singles groups.”

Let’s work on returning our churches to places of inclusion and invitation. Places of unity. Let’s make them places where Blacks chill with Whites, old folks hang with hooligans like me, and single people spend meaningful time with couples.

And it isn’t weird.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Preach Well According to Martin Luther

Brandon Hilgemann

July 18, 2017

We can learn a lot about how to preach from the example of Martin Luther.

Early in his ministry, Martin Luther sarcastically described his “lazy” life of ministry in Wittenberg:

All day long I do nothing but write letters… I preach at the monastery, I am a lector during mealtimes, I am asked daily to preach in the city church, I have to supervise the program of study… I lecture on Paul and I am still collecting material on the Psalms… See what a lazy man I am!¹

On top of his many other responsibilities, Luther was a preaching machine. He preached an estimated 4,000 sermons in his lifetime, of which we have approximately 2,300 of those sermons preserved today.

On average, Luther preached 120 sermons per year. That equates to roughly one sermon every three days.² And most pastors today preach only one sermon a week and think the weight of their preaching load is heavy!

Ironically, Luther never desired to preach. Luther was ordained as a priest in 1507, but being a priest did not always mean being a preacher. In 1530, Luther wrote a letter to encourage another preacher in which he described his reluctance to accept the call to preach:

I feared the pulpit perhaps as greatly as you do; yet I had to do it; I was forced to preach. Ah, how I feared the pulpit! Under this pear tree I advanced fifteen arguments to Dr. Staupitz; with them I declined my call. But they did me no good.³

Despite his fear of preaching and a thorough attempt to decline, Luther reluctantly succumbed to the calling. This defining moment would begin a ministry that changed the course of preaching in the church, greatly impacting the way many pastors preach today.

How to Preach Well

For the sake of this article, we will examine only three hallmarks of Luther’s preaching that have heavily influenced the church today:

When considering how to preach, preaching should be:

central to the church worship service,
founded on God’s Word,
and spoken in the simple language of ordinary people.

1. HOW TO PREACH: PREACHING IS CENTRAL IN THE CHURCH

Luther moved preaching from the fringe to the center of the worship gathering.

In the Middle Ages, preaching was a part of the Roman Catholic Mass, but it was optional.⁴ When it was included, it was far from the focal point of the worship gathering and routinely focused on works and judgment.

As a young man, Luther would have grown up hearing sermons that emphasized the horror of eternal suffering in hell because of sin.

John P. Dolan describes the preaching in this time:

Jodi Hickerson: The No-Strings-Attached Approach to Church Planting

Jason Daye

July 18, 2017

Jodi Hickerson is the Teaching Pastor and Programming Director of Mission Ventura Church, which she and her husband helped plant in 2011. Jodi speaks frequently at conferences across the country, including the Exponential East 2017 Conference. Jodi lives with her husband and children in Ventura, California.

Key Questions:

What differences have you experienced coming from the “Bible belt” and planting a church in California?

How are you able to connect people to your church through the parties you throw for the community?

You talk about the already-established church that helped you when you were first planting Mission. What did this church do to help you?

Key Quotes:

“People are people. I think there are hurting, broken people everywhere.”

“Before we ever launched we started serving at places like the city center, showing up for work days, we hosted three free movie nights in the park…We just wanted show up going ‘We’re for this city.’”

“Our 5 values are: Offering tangible hope, practical help, significant ministry, throwing great parties, and Kingdom impact.”

“We like to throw these parties for people who are often overlooked or often under-celebrated, that couldn’t pay us back.”

“It takes five to seven positive impressions with a brand or…church before someone kind of goes ‘I think I’ll check that out.’”

“One of the things I love the most about the Church…is people that have been walking with Jesus so long and they have such a deep relationship with him that they realize it’s not about them. And they’re showing up at some 5-year-old church plant in a movie theater…because they want to walk alongside someone else, and they want to disciple someone else.”

“I don’t think I could have imagined where we’re at now [with our church plant] five-and-a-half years in. I know I couldn’t imagine what God’s done in my own heart.”

Mentioned in the Show:

MissionVentura.com

info@missionventura.com

Jen Hatmaker, et al Announce Cancelation of 2017 Belong Tour

Meredee Berg

July 18, 2017

Belong Tour — Screengrab Facebook @ShaunaNiequist

At the close of a 20-year run for the Women of Faith tour, the brand-new version of the women’s gathering with a much younger target demographic—the Belong Tour—was poised to take the reins as the next big event for evangelical women. But due to “critically low ticket sales and the high cost of producing these events,” the 2017 tour was canceled before the first scheduled event took place, according to the event organizers.

The event billed itself as a two-day event for “every woman—for conservatives and liberals, young and old, married and single, those who go to church and those who don’t, women of every background and race.” The tour was scheduled to feature prominent Christian bloggers and authors such as Jen Hatmaker, Shauna Niequist and Deidra Riggs, who would share stories, real-life insights and inspiration to women at gatherings across the country, running from August through December 2017.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about what this means for all of you who’ve set aside the weekend, bought tickets, made plans for childcare or hotels and time off work,” Niequist said in a Facebook post to her fans. “The other speakers and I have prayed for Belong 2017, planned for it, dreamed about it and hoped for it.”

Tour information was replaced on the event website with instructions on how to receive a refund or trade for purchased tickets, as well as a promise that the tour would resume in 2018 for those who would like to keep their tickets for future use.

According to Christianity Today, thousands of women attended last year’s 12-city tour, but received criticism when surprise guest speaker Glennon Doyle Melton made an appearance on the tour. Melton, a popular blogger, recently divorced her husband and has since married soccer star Abby Wambach. Additionally, an interview with Hatmaker last year revealed her endorsement of same-sex relationships.

While it appeared as though the Belong Tour was set to be a successful spinoff to the Women of Faith tour, the emphasis in 2016 on speakers who represent what many in the evangelical world deem aberrant theological views could be a contributing factor in the decline of ticket sales. However, it remains to be seen what changes, if any, will be made to the program schedule in order to boost ticket sales for the 2018 tour.

Correction: This article has been updated to correct the spelling of Abby Wambach’s name.

How to Have a Ministry of Building People

Rick Warren

July 17, 2017

You can be a homebuilder, bodybuilder, reputation builder or a retirement-nest-egg builder. None of those things will last, but there is something that’s going to last for eternity, something you can put your efforts into now that will last forever.

You can be a people builder.

The Bible encourages us to do just that in Romans 15:2, where it says, “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up” (NIV).

How do you build your people? The key is kindness—giving people what they need, not what they deserve.

If you consider the way Jesus built people up, he did four things, and you can do these same four things as you encourage members of your congregation.

1. Give them a personal challenge.

Ephesians 4:1 says, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received” (NIV).

Paul is saying, don’t waste your life—make it count. Be all that God made you to be.

Challenge your members to live beyond themselves and to discover their strengths and abilities. God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God’s many kinds of blessings.

You can play a critical role in the lives of your members by helping them discover their strengths and abilities, and then challenging them to use them.

2. Give them complete confidence.

Romans 15:1 says, “We who are strong in the faith ought to help the weak in order to build them up in the faith” (GNT).

We all need confidence. When you know that someone believes in you, it brings out your best.

Jesus did this with Peter. Peter’s name—“Petros”—meant pebble. But Jesus said, “Pebble, you’re going to be a rock. I’m giving you a new name.”

When Jesus said that to Peter, the apostle was anything but a rock. He was Mr. Impulsive, Mr. Foot-in-Mouth. But Jesus didn’t tell him what he was—He told him what he could be. He gave him confidence to live up to his potential.

When you give encouragement, it needs to be genuine. So, give from the heart and with sincerity. Encouragement also needs to be regular—don’t be stingy with your encouragement.

And encouragement needs to be specific. Don’t say, “I enjoyed the meal.” Rather say, “I can tell you put a lot of effort into this meal and the seasoning you chose was perfect.”

Don’t say, “You did a good job.” Rather say, “I noticed you handled that angry member with tact and you maintained your cool under pressure.”

3. Give them honest counsel.

Proverbs 27:6a says, “Friends mean well, even when they hurt you” (GNT).

Real friends will care enough to confront. Even when it’s painful, they’ll tell you the truth. They won’t let you waste your life in silence.

I have found that correction is powerful—and it can be dangerous. Done the right way, it builds people up, but done the wrong way, it can scar a person for life.

The difference between the right and the wrong way to correct is your attitude. If all you’re doing is pointing out faults, then stop.

The purpose has to be to correct, not to condemn. You need to ask, “What’s my motive in this? Am I correcting them for my benefit or for their benefit?”

A lot of times we want to correct people just because they’re being jerks and they’re hassling us. We think, “If they would stop being such a jerk, my life would be easier.” That’s the wrong motive.

Follow Ephesians 4:15, which says, “Speak the truth in love.” Love means giving people what they need rather than what they deserve. So affirm the person; correct the behavior.

4. Give them full credit.

I used to have a sign in my office: “God can do great things through the person who doesn’t care who gets the credit.”

How quickly do you share the credit? It’s human nature to want to share the blame while keeping the credit. But God says the mark of maturity is to accept the blame and share the credit.

Being a people-builder requires unselfishness.

I want to give you an objective, and that is to be a people builder for the rest of your life. Begin by writing down the name of one person you want to help build up, then stop and pray. Ask God to show you that person’s strengths. We always build on our strengths, not on our weaknesses.

Imagine the impact you could have if you would commit yourself to being a people-builder; if you determined to bring out the best in everyone within your congregation. That’s one of the purposes of the church: to help people grow and to become what God made them to be.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Become a Better Reader

James Emery White

July 17, 2017

One of the most frequent questions I get is how to keep up with culture. My stock answer is to read voraciously. Then the follow-up comes: How can I become a better reader?

Borrowing a phrase from Thomas Jefferson, Susan Wise Bauer rightly maintains that any literate man or woman can become a reader. “All you need are a shelf full of books…and a few ‘chasms of time not otherwise appropriated.'”

With the scent of a savvy, real-world reader, Bauer gives the following suggestions:

Morning is better than evening: Why fight the fatigue?
Start short. As with physical exercise, work your way into shape starting with no more than 30 minutes a day.
Don’t schedule yourself for reading every day of the week. Aim for four days, giving yourself some days off for the inevitable interruptions of life.
Never check your email or social media right before you start reading. You know how it distracts the mind and commands your time.
Guard your reading time. Set it, keep it and protect it.
And take the first step now.

I might add three more to her list:

First, do not attempt to read a book—particularly a significant one—in the context of chaos. Blaring music, kids running amuck and interrupting you every five minutes, getting up to answer the phone…such distractions are insurmountable. Guarding your reading is more than setting the time itself aside; it is protecting its quality.

Second, do not become discouraged if you read slowly, resulting in only a few books a year. The more you read, the faster you will read. The same is true with comprehension. Your mind is like your body; you should not expect to run a four-minute mile the first day or complete a marathon after two weeks in the gym. Speed and increased abilities in reading comprehension come with time. And they will come.

Finally, reading is served by knowing the degree to which individual books should be read. Not every book qualifies for a cover-to-cover journey. Long ago, Francis Bacon gave this wise counsel: “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed and some few to be chewed and digested.” Read each book to the degree that it deserves, and no more. A classic text that will help in this area is Mortimer Adler’s How to Read a Book.

Most people would be amazed at what can be accomplished with such practices. Will Durant, winner of the Pulitzer Prize and author of the famed 11-volume The Story of Civilization once listed “The One Hundred ‘Best’ Books for an Education.” As if he anticipated the reaction to such a program, he writes, “Can you spare one hour a day? … Let me have seven hours a week, and I will make a scholar and a philosopher out of you; in four years you shall be as well educated as any new-fledged Doctor of Philosophy in the land.”

He’s right.

Sources

Adapted from James Emery White, A Mind for God (InterVarsity Press).

Susan Wise Bauer, The Well-Educated Mind: A Guide to the Classical Education You Never Had.

Francis Bacon, Of Studies.

Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren, How to Read a Book.

Will Durant, The Greatest Minds and Ideas of All Time, compiled and edited by John Little.

This article originally appeared here.

5 Honest Struggles Most Church Leaders Don’t Want to Admit

Carey Nieuwhof

July 17, 2017

Most of us who get into full-time ministry do so because we sense a calling, not because it was a ‘career path.’

Chances are you got in this because you love God, deeply, right?

So it’s always a bit surprising and unusual then when ministry leaders find themselves struggling with the very God who called them into this in the first place. This is true whether you’re paid, bi-vocational or even a full-time volunteer.

Ministry can not only be hazardous to your spiritual health, it can be confusing.

But the good news is that struggling with God is normal. You are not alone.

The best leaders struggled with God.

Jacob wrestled an angel.

Moses almost quit more than a few times.

Jeremiah tried to quit but couldn’t.

Today’s struggles might be a bit different, but in some ways struggle is inevitable.

I personally have struggled with every one of the five challenges I outline in this post. And what’s amazing to me is that you can get through them. You really can.

Sometimes all you need to know is you’re not alone. And you’re not, even if you feel that way.

Here are five ways ministry leaders struggle in their relationship with God:

1. You See Setbacks in Ministry as a Personal Statement From God About You

Hey, everybody thinks this way when life circumstances don’t tilt in their favor (why did God allow me to have cancer/lose this job/be in this place?). So it’s natural that this line of thinking would emerge in ministry.

Just because things aren’t going the way you want in ministry isn’t an automatic sign that God is angry with you. I’m always amazed that constant imprisonment didn’t cause Paul to second-guess himself or God.

God isn’t always punishing you, even if it feels like he is.

The key is to take the setbacks in front of you seriously, not personally. You’ll be so much healthier.

2. You Believe That Greater Faithfulness Should Result in Greater Impact in Ministry

Ever tried to improve your personal devotional life so your church would do better? Gosh, I wish this wasn’t true, but in the early days of ministry, I really thought greater personal fervor would automatically translate into greater ministry impact.

I’m all for a rich personal walk with God, but it’s really not a push-this-button-and-God-will-do-great-things-through-you kind of proposition. In fact, it’s a bit self-centered to think that way.

Pursue God, and pursue a great mission. Both are critical. But God doesn’t reward the most faithful with the best results.

3. You Are Convinced God Should Protect You From Pain

So here’s a confession. Much of the pain I’ve experienced in ministry is self-induced. I have created crises in my mind and in relationships around me. The solution for me was to confess my sin and realize so much of the pain around me was caused by the strife within me.

As to the rest of the troubles that inevitably come our way? I seem to remember Jesus’ brother James saying we were supposed to throw a party when they come and celebrate because God uses them to perfect us.

God doesn’t always protect us from pain. He uses it to grow us. And the part that’s self-induced? Get on your knees.

4. You Confuse Your Work Life With Your Devotional Life

I always ask myself, “If I couldn’t do ministry tomorrow for whatever reason, what would be left of my life with Christ?” Hopefully, the answer is “lots” or “virtually everything.”

So my devotional life has little to do with what I’m teaching, and I try to pray about things I wouldn’t pray about if I wasn’t a pastor. But naturally, I also pray about things related to ministry.

Pretending you’re not a ministry leader in your relationship with God is a great way to stay vibrant as a ministry leader.

5. You Find It Hard to Believe That God Loves You Simply Because He Loves You

Your identity is not based on what you do, but based on what Christ has done. I know you preach that, but you have a hard time believing it, don’t you?

Don’t confuse what you do with who you are in Christ. Need to hear that more clearly? I wrote this one for every leader who’s ever struggled through a Monday.

He loves you. He just does.

These are five struggles I’ve experienced and have to regularly check in my own life.

What are you discovering?

This article originally appeared here.

Pastors Need to Slay the Significance Monster

Megan Briggs

July 17, 2017

Unfortunately, the desire to be known comes with our sinful selves. The healthy desire to have significance for kingdom influence is commonly eclipsed by a desire for self-glory. Crawford Loritts, Senior Pastor of Fellowship Bible Church, offers the following thoughts on slaying the significance monster.

It is important that Christian leaders slay the significance monster early on in their ministry. If your vision is about you and what you are going to do to fulfill that ministry, then you will end up hurting a lot of people. This means that young Christian leaders must have others who are at the core of everything they do and to remember that you will never lose anything by giving it all away. What God has for you, no mortal being can take from you.

Also remember to be wary that a public gifting can produce a sense of power. Do not hide behind truth in order to protect your platform. Please be transparent about your struggles, jealousies, and competitions and allow God to edit your life for His glory. You don’t have to campaign for your ministry with your abilities, because God Himself will bring ministry to you. Greatness is not the product of giftedness but rather the product of faithfulness. Enjoy this very convicting video.

Homosexuality and the Church Leadership Crisis

Bill Henson

July 17, 2017

Eugene Peterson, author of The Message, retracted his recent statements to Religion News Service in which he said that homosexuality “is not a right or wrong thing.” The 84-year-old former Regent College professor clarified: “I affirm a biblical view of marriage: one man to one woman.”

Some are questioning the clarity of Peterson’s retraction, fearing he reversed course only to maintain book royalties for his estate. Whatever the case, it doesn’t change the rapidly growing trend of evangelical leaders shifting their biblical position on marriage and sexuality.

Homosexuality, an issue that has traditionally been preached against or avoided altogether, has become a senior leadership crisis. Some think this crisis is rooted in a powerful “gay agenda” changing social views—and even theological beliefs among Christians. After many years of working with those from the LGBT+ community, I have come to the conclusion that while concerning, these shifts are not the source, but the fruit of a different crisis that we have ignored for decades: The mistreatment of LGBT+ people.

To make matters worse, social media has accelerated this process and revealed a generational divide. When homosexuality comes up in conversation, people over 50 may think “sinful.” Those under 30 likely think “mistreatment of people” or “injustice.”

Many will ask, But the gay agenda has tremendous power—what injustice?

A brief glimpse into LGBT+ history

In studying LGBT+ history, we find systemic victimization.

In the 1940s, thousands of homosexual men were placed in Nazi concentration camps. Many were murdered. Nearly 49,000 British men were prosecuted for homosexuality. Forced castrations and shock treatments were common.

During the 1960s and early ’70s, television raised the visibility of gay people. Similar to social media today, young people seeing “other people like me” felt it must be safe to come out to family. Thousands were rejected. Many were disowned. Gay communities across America mushroomed in growth over the next few decades, becoming a safe haven for banished people. No wonder the song “We Are Family” is so huge in the gay community.

When the first wave of the AIDS crisis took a heavy toll in the early 1980s, countless gay men were left to die in hospice settings without a visit from family. One nurse told me of a gay man in his final days of life. She called to inform his parents, but they responded, “We don’t have a son.” Seeing that this man was blind and partially deaf, she held his hand and said: “Mom is here. I love you.” The man breathed a sigh, gently smiled and passed away. Many families never claimed the bodies of their children.

Many of us remember Matthew Shepard, the 22-year-old University of Wyoming student who was tortured, tied to a fence and left to die in 1998. In 2010, there was a cluster of LGBT+ suicides that highlighted the ongoing tragedy of anti-gay bullying and assault. Others recall Tyler Clementi, the 18-year-old Rutgers University student who jumped off the George Washington bridge after being outed online in 2012.

The history of LGBT+ people is filled with rejection, persecution, imprisonment, torture and murder.

One of my friends, Garett, was granted U.S. citizenship after receiving threats against his life from within his home nation. He said, “I have same-sex attraction, but I don’t plan to act on these desires. Yet because I am effeminate, it is assumed that I am guilty of homosexuality. I could be charged with a crime.”

There remain nations where gay people are incarcerated—or even sentenced to death.

Unfortunately, this injustice continues on today

On June 12, 2016, 49 mostly-LGBT+ people were murdered in the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history. When evangelicals were encouraged to visit Orlando to offer memorial candles and sympathy cards, many thankfully answered this call. But some asked: What would it say about our beliefs if we go?

Some of us cannot even grieve the murder of LGBT+ people without worrying we might be condoning sin.

Without minimizing this horrific massacre, let’s consider another tragedy.

Kevin is a 15-year-old evangelical from Chicago. When he turned 12, he realized he was gay. After suffering years of bullying over perceptions about his sexuality, he dared not tell anyone. Only weeks prior to the Pulse shooting, several boys in Kevin’s youth group created an Instagram account in his name. They posted gay pornography to this fake account, effectively outing Kevin to his school, neighborhood and church.

While most bullying occurs outside the church, we should never cover it up when it happens in the church. Being humiliated so publicly could have easily cost Kevin his life. Thankfully, he is alive, but he told me this: “I love Jesus, but I will never go to another youth group.”

Research demonstrates that LGBT+ teens continue to experience elevated rates of teasing, bullying and even assault. They remain 2 to 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual peers.

During the culture war years, some argued, If they weren’t gay, they wouldn’t kill themselves. But research tells a different story: bullying and family rejection are the key factors driving higher suicidality. When family rejection occurs, LGBT+ youth are up to 8 times more likely to attempt suicide.

I recently met 20-year-old Dana just as she was being disowned by her parents. And while we may assume something like this would occur in the Deep South, Dana actually lives in Boston. Who ends up being a “refuge and shelter” for her? Sadly, her only financial support is coming from her secular university which made the decision to provide her an intern role with housing to prevent her from being homeless.

LGBT+ people can still be bullied, condemned and even disowned by family. Studies indicate that 20 percent to 40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT. Nearly 42 percent succumb to survival sex, a form of sex trafficking where youth must trade their body to access shelter and food.

LGBT+ people may possess rising social power, but life is not always safe for them.

A missional path to the marginalized

Like other groups that have been marginalized and made to feel inferior or unsafe, I believe the approach we need to take with LGBT+ people is a missiological one. Rather than placing impossible demands upon vulnerable people from a comfortable distance, we need to become better missionaries. We need to understand the importance of proximity: taking Jesus to people where they are, as they are. We also need to see vulnerability and begin to identify and serve unmet needs.

No mission agency merely “sends” someone out into a mission field to care for a marginalized people group. This calling requires preparation and training. We gain important insights when we put ourselves in the footsteps of LGBT+ people. In this article, we began this process by looking at the vulnerable history of LGBT+ people. In the next article, we’ll continue the process by looking at the experience of growing up LGBT+ and learning how language mistakes damage trust. Applying this missiological framework will yield more effective outreach and relational care.

The life of Jesus gives us a great missional model to follow. Jesus is not shocked by sinners. He engages people whom religious leaders reject. In doing so, He is called a heretic, demonic and worse. Yet He goes! This same love of God is what compels missionaries to take Jesus to marginalized peoples across the globe.

If you’d like to learn more about how your church can reach the LGBT+ community in your area, consider attending Posture Shift in Indianapolis, Denver or Boston (more info at postureshift.com). Also, take advantage of Lead Them Home’s special offer and receive a free excerpt of Guiding Families of LGBT+ Loved Ones.

What About Sex Before Marriage?

Rashawn Copeland

July 17, 2017

“He who loves with purity considers not the gift of the lover, but the love of the giver.” – Thomas a Kempis

The Culture.

A couple months ago I was talking with a group of college guys about our cultures obsession with sex and its effects upon our generation. After listening to one guy exuberantly shout (for what it seemed like an eternity) trying to prove his point that our society “idolizing sex,” as he said this I just sat back to really process what he was saying. The initial assumption, of course, is that because our culture focus on sexuality, we’ve placed sex on a pedestal and elevated it way too high. But the truth is that our culture has brought sex down too low!

Bringing sex down too low would be saying it only holds physical significance for a moment.

However, keeping sex in its rightful place would be to understand the spiritual significance of sex in and of itself.

When we lose sight of the spiritual significance of sex and we decide to indulge in feeding our temporal craving trading our purity for a “Netflix and Chill” night. Hmm I can say by experience that’s so not wise.

When anyone assumes that sex is just a “physical thing,” they cheapen God’s original intent for sexuality and it devalues the sacred act.
“Believe it our not, the first step in maintaining sexual purity is embracing your sexuality because it is a precious gift from God.”

The PURITY.

Kim and Devin, college sweethearts who had never been apart for more than a month, found themselves ready to get married one summer during their sophomore year in college. Upon getting engaged and their relationship looked so promising, they decided to make their relationship complete by having sex to celebrate their engagement one night after a movie. They cautiously reasoned, “It’s okay to begin a sexual relationship; we’re already married in God’s eyes anyway.” the guy murmered.

The sad part, this couple never made it to the altar.

Their fantasy of saftey and commitment had no real foundation; it was a mere illusion. Jesus Christ wasn’t the foundation now they must face the ramifications that comes with sinning against God.

Have you been here? Have you known someone who has?
This is serious business! The last thing we can say – is that God condones casual sex.

Whenever we choose to act on our sexual desires outside God’s guidelines, we disregard the true purpose of something so sacred.

Yes, sex is wonderful, but it’s not so good when it’s outside of the context of marriage.

Sex is like a fire.

When you light a fire in your fire place, it can be a wonderful thing — It provides warmth, light, and energy in a contained space. However, when you take the same fire and place it outside the proper context (in the middle of the living room floor), it flames up the whole room… Out of control and leads to crazy damage and destruction.

The Control.

Therefore, wherever you are in your walk with God right now. I would like to encourage you to stay pure. You are worth much more than some mutual agreement to use each other as mere sex tools. God makes it clear that we are in control of our own body in a way that is holy and honorable.

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.” – (1 Thessalonians 4:3-6)

Therefore, lets be encouraged to control our passions, to hold our sexuality in high regard to not only protect ourselves and others, but to honor God. We are made in His image and we were bought with a high cost the Bible says.

Maintaining your purity isn’t only about doing what is right, but it’s also about doing something that is good for you in the grander scheme of God’s plan for your life.

The great part about saving sex for marriage is also about respecting your partner and giving him or her the dignity they deserve.

Jesus said “If you loved me you would obey my commandments.” Meaning by knowing Him and loving Him in a personal way we will wholeheartedly desire to maintain our purity both internally and externally.

“We would also love Jesus the same at 2pm after church on a Sunday as we do at 2am after a date on a Saturday.”

Here are some scriptures you can meditate on tonight that may help you:

A Purity Prayer for you:

Lord, give me the strength and the wisdom to set boundries and maintain a sense of control in this tempting area of my life. I commit my whole heart to Jesus and your ideal purpose of intimacy. Thank you for being such a gracious Father and forgive me for all my shortcomings. Lord Almighty keep me pure for Your Name Sake. Amen!

This article originally appeared here.

What If You Acted Like Everyone Was Invited to the Party?

Reggie Joiner

July 16, 2017

There’s a party happening. It’s actually going to be one HEAVEN of a party, because the invitation was extended from the Creator of the universe. And the good news is that everyone is invited.

This one idea—that God is throwing a party for everyone—could potentially change how we see the world around us.

What if you started acting like everyone is invited to the party?

Think about it. How would that one idea change your relationship with people you meet every day? Not only is everyone around you created in the image of God, but everyone is invited to be a guest at God’s party.

Stop and consider this for a moment. What if you were invited to a party by Oprah? That’s guaranteed to be some party, right? And the day before the party you run into someone at the grocery store who you find out is also invited to the party. How do you see them? How do you treat them? How do you talk to them? Doesn’t it change your attitude toward them when you know they have been invited to the same party by someone as important as Oprah?

Imagine what would happen if we…

began to look at every individual as if they were invited to God’s party.
invited people who are different than us to our table to start celebrating.
hosted those who are marginalized and vulnerable in our world as special guests.
organized our time to create the kind of spaces that give people hope.

There has never been a more important time in history than right now to start acting like we believe everyone is invited to the party.

JESUS changed the rules. JESUS re-arranged the VIP list. JESUS invited everyone. This is the mindset we should have when we approach the world around us. Turn to the person next to you and say: “Did you know you’re invited to the party? Yeah. Even you.”

The next generation needs to hear this. The kids and teenagers you are leading need to get this. They need to know they are invited. They need to know everyone in their school is invited. They need to know their neighbors are invited. They need to know the people they meet on the street are VIPs.

One of the reasons this generation has become disillusioned with the church is because too many of us act like everyone is NOT invited.

When we segregate the Gospel when we…

discriminate against those who don’t look like us.
eliminate those who don’t measure up to us.
isolate ourselves from anybody who doesn’t believe like us.

The Gospel doesn’t segregate; it integrates. And, one day we will all be integrated in the same kingdom, in the same room, at the same table because of the Gospel.

What if we started acting like the party has already started and everyone is invited?

If we do that…

we stand a better chance of handing our kids and teenagers a version of church and a version of faith they will give their lives for.

I believe you are surrounded by a generation of party starters. They don’t want you to tell them what to believe. They want you to give them something to do. They want you to put them in charge of something. They want you to help them launch something.

This generation doesn’t want another church service with three songs and a sermon. They want a life-changing, risk-taking adventure. This generation doesn’t want more programs. They want to experience what God can do through them.

You know what this generation wants? They want what Jesus promised in John 10:10 when He said, “I have come that you might have life—and have it to the full.”

They want

deeper connections.
richer experiences.
a bigger God.

They want life the way God intended. They don’t want a religion that is defined by the exclusive attitude of the Pharisees. They want a relationship characterized by the inclusive nature of Jesus. They want a party.

A few years ago, I hosted a meeting with a dozen key leaders who led influential ministries and churches around the country. I asked a simple question, “If I gave you a dozen ninth graders for four years, and you could do anything you wanted to do to disciple them, what would you do?” For a few hours, we brainstormed and collected ideas. What was most interesting to me is what didn’t get put on the board. No one said “more Bible studies” or “better worship.”

When the meeting was over, we summarized the evening with a simple phrase.

“If you want to disciple teenagers then give them consistent opportunities to serve others, and coach them while they are doing it.”

We are programmed to think if you read your Bible more, if you go to church more, if you pray more, if you debate theology more, then you will discover how to have a full and meaningful life.

But the truth is, you can do all of those things and still live a pretty empty life. Just ask Jesus. The Pharisees were model believers. And yet Jesus referred to them as “whitewashed tombs which appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones.” We keep acting like discipleship is about information, but discipleship has always been about a relationship.

Faith is not meant to be memorized or recited, it is meant to be lived. The cure for the skepticism of this generation has less to do with winning an intellectual argument and more to do with celebrating how we should love each other.

What would happen if you started asking these questions as a leader? How often do you give this generation opportunities to serve their neighbor? How frequently do you prioritize gatherings so they can enjoy being together? How do you help kids celebrate the unique aspects of each other’s story?

Recently I decided I’m going to start hanging out with ninth graders again. At my age, I’m hoping I’ll make it to their graduation. That’s why I have been spending a few weeks re-thinking what I would tell them. I’ve been writing down some principles that I see in people who have a dynamic faith. They are relentless in how they choose to love and serve other people, and it has a powerful effect on their faith and influence. They are passionate about how they invite others to join the party and love their neighbors. They’re party starters and they can’t wait to start the party.

If you and I could spend some quality time together, I think we would find it easy to agree on this one thing: How you lead kids and teenagers to love others will determine their faith and future.

This article originally appeared here.

Stop Hating Your Church

David Santistevan

July 16, 2017

Church is imperfect. Leaders are imperfect. You are imperfect.

And it’s really time to get over the backbiting, the bickering and the slandering of your church. I have a better idea: What if you decided to love it?

I remember when a friend was struggling in his marriage. The feelings weren’t there. They were fighting often. Tension was high and romance was low. Do you know what turned it around? He decided to love her. He decided to appreciate her. He made a decision to romance. He learned that what you invest in, grows. What you appreciate, appreciates.

My wife had to stay home with our sick daughter this weekend. But Tyler came with me Saturday and Sunday. He hung out for all 8,000 rehearsals. We sang together. We talked to people together.

I’m glad he can grow up in a church. Not a perfect church. But a church, nonetheless.

To Press In or to Withdraw?

Here’s what I’ve noticed in my own life: When I’m closest with Jesus, the less I criticize and find fault in every environment and leader around me. It’s because my attitude is in check with the Holy Spirit. It’s because I’m in a good place of humility, dependence and pouring my life out for the Gospel.

Of course, I don’t agree with everything. Of course, imperfect people lead me, pray for me, preach to me and lead worship. But I’m more inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt when my heart is submitted. Rather than defaulting to criticism, I pray for them, understand the struggle of ministry and stay focused on the right things.

But when I wander, when I try to live in my own strength, I start to get offended and hurt by every little thing. Rather than attending my local church out of obedience to God and a commitment to the Kingdom, I’m only concerned with how I’m served and treated.

Should I press in to the church or withdraw? I’d rather have a bias of pressing in. Of being who God has called me to be. Of loving what Jesus has chosen to love.

Worship Leaders, let’s develop a culture of musicians who are into Jesus and committed to the local church, not just the opportunity to be on a stage.

Let’s stop being nit picky about little things, and instead be leaders. Leaders who make change happen. Leaders who lead with a bias toward action and a good attitude.

Are you with me?

This article originally appeared here.

5 Church Growth Ideas That Aren’t Expensive

Church Fuel

July 16, 2017

We often hear that churches need to hire new staff. Or they need a budget for advertising. Or maybe they need to expand or renovate their facilities. But where are they ever going to find the money to make such changes?

But there are a lot of church growth strategies that don’t require bucketloads of money. These are things you can work on as soon as today, despite any budget constraints.

#1 – Adopt a people-first communication approach.

I read a stat that said the average young adult today will take more than 25,000 selfies in their lifetime. That’s a lot of duck faces and Clarendon filters.

The ubiquitous selfie might be a sign of the times, but it’s an example of how people of all ages like to see themselves in photos. A picture of the Grand Canyon will never be as popular as a picture of you at the Grand Canyon.

Too many churches have the camera focused on them—talking about their services, their ministries and their events. It’s a selfie approach to communication. Instead, flip the camera around and start talking about people.

This is a subtle concept and it can be tough to grasp, so here’s an example. We’ve all seen churches describe themselves as “a friendly church” to invite the community. But here’s the thing…

People aren’t looking for a friendly church. They are looking for friends.

See the difference? The “friendly church” descriptor is about you. And more and more, people don’t really connect with that description. What they are looking for is friends. That’s personal. That makes a difference in their life.

So when you talk about your church, as uncomfortable as it might be, make sure you’re talking about what it means to people’s real lives. Don’t describe the programs and ministries; describe how those programs and ministries benefit people.

People-first communication means you don’t just describe the dates and speaker for youth camp…it means you tell parents this is the best chance for their rising high schooler to make Christian friends who will be a positive influence over the next few years.

People-first communication means you don’t describe how Financial Peace University works, it means you talk about what will happen in people’s lives after they go through the program.

People-first communication means you don’t just post pictures of your band or your sermon series, you post pictures of people having fun, praying or singing. You put other people, not your church, front and center.

#2 – Put friendly people in visible places.

One of the knocks against big churches is that it’s hard to get to know people. But I’ve been to some very small churches where everyone clearly knew everyone and I’ve felt like a complete outsider. Small churches where you don’t know anyone are far more intimidating than large churches where you don’t know anyone.

A lot of churches who consider themselves welcoming miss the fact that being welcoming to regular attendees and being welcoming to guests are dramatically different.

Great greeters make this possible.

If you’ve got a greeter with the personality of Captain Ahab, he’s driving away people before they even give your church a chance. The good news is you don’t need a complicated spiritual gifts test or a series of introductory courses to help identify friendly people. You can look around and see who is wired this way.

Identify them just like you would identify people who can sing and put them on the worship team. Hospitality is a gift that’s easy to spot. And once you spot it, empower these people to make guests feel welcome. Make sure they are in the most visible places in your church. Let them do the welcome. Give them a platform to interact with people.

#3 – Design your homepage exclusively for guests.

Once someone is connected to your church, there are lots of ways for them to get information. They can read the bulletin, pay attention to the announcements, read the email newsletter or find info on social media.

But people thinking about visiting your church for the first time are going to end up in one spot…your church’s website.

That’s why you should design your website for brand new people, NOT your church members.

Pro Church recently published a post with 25 of the best websites. And there’s a common thread that runs through all of them. Nearly every single one was designed with guests in mind.

Brady writes, “When someone lands on your church’s site, they’re not there to hear about how awesome you are. They’re there to see what your church can offer them.”

Grace Hills Church does a good job with this, choosing words that are more about the potential visitor than the church.

Your home page doesn’t need a calendar of events, a text widget listing the Deacon on Call, or an announcement to recruit new volunteers. People are not visiting your website for those things.

Instead, new people are heading to your site to learn the basic information. Things like…

What time is the service?
What should I expect if I’m going to visit?
What about my kids?

Design your website almost exclusively for guests and point everything to one obvious call to action. We recommend “Plan a Visit.”

#4 – Equip your people to invite.

Pastors often do a great job encouraging their people to invite their friends, neighbors and co-workers. But encouragement and equipping are two different things.

People don’t just need encouragement to invite, they need the tools. You need to do more than ask them to bring people to church, you need to give them resources that make it easy to follow through.

Here are two equipping ideas.

First, print up a bunch of invite cards, create a display and then take time to teach people how to use them. You can change these cards with the season or create different versions for different ministries. But don’t just make them available…talk about them and share ideas on how people can use them.

Here are a couple of invite card examples.

If you’re a Church Fuel One member, you’ll find more samples in the Resource Library.

Second, write up a bunch of social media posts and create corresponding images and ask your people to share on their feeds. If you want people to do something, make it easier. Sure, some people in your church might respond to a generic request. But if you actually write the post, create the graphic and email it to a church member, they are far more likely to follow through.

Looking for more ways to equip your people to invite others to church? Here are 19 ideas.

#5 – Partner with existing events in your community.

Hosting an outreach event is time-consuming, people-intensive and expensive. Maybe it’s the right call for you. But for most churches, you can see even more impact by partnering. There’s no need to re-create something that happens elsewhere. Just jump in and make it better.

Your church can organize a community Easter Egg hunt, but if your town already does one, offer to send volunteers and help make it better. You could serve more people and help the organizers at the same time.

Your church might benefit from organizing a fall festival, but why not jump in with local schools and make their events better? Ask yourself if your community needs another fall festival, financial seminar or food pantry. It might be smarter to partner.

Those are five things you can do to reach people and see church growth. They don’t seem too difficult, but if you commit to even one of these ideas, the culture shift in your church will reap its own rewards. Let us know what happens when you start using some of these ideas.

Take a Next Step

We believe two things about church growth.

You don’t have to sacrifice church health in order to experience church growth.
While growth is up to God, He wants us to be good stewards of our influence and uses us in the process.

If you’re interested in healthy growth in your church, check out the Church Fuel One program. It’s a community of pastors who value practical coaching and resources and encourage one another to grow healthy.

Every quarter, we deliver a brand new course to members covering topics like recruiting volunteers, connecting people, preaching, finances and more.

Members get access to a resource library full of documents, spreadsheets and templates. And there are members-only office hours and round tables where you can get personal help when needed.

This article originally appeared here.

We’ve Lost the Soul of Evangelicalism

Scot McKnight

July 16, 2017

Not long ago I posted on the loss of the evangelical soul, a post in part stimulated by the tone of conversations I am witnessing on FB. Everybody’s a prophet these days and thinks so because, so they think, they are speaking truth to power. They’re not. They’re yelling in a barrel full of self-appointed prophets.

Today’s post moves into signs of evangelicalism’s demise. Let’s get the standard definition of evangelicalism on the table first: An evangelical is committed to these four elements: the Bible, the cross as the place of atonement, the necessity of personal conversion, and an active Christian life both in missions/evangelism as well as justice, peace and reconciliation. On top of this, evangelicalism is non-denominational and cross-denominational. For one very good sketch of evangelicalism, I recommend David Bebbington, The Dominance of Evangelicalism. For a more intra-mural debate, Four Views on the Spectrum of Evangelicalism.

Those four elements are crumbling, folks, they are crumbling. It’s not that evangelicalism has been yet again swamped by politics and lost its way. Rather, it is swamped by politics because those four elements are crumbling. Bible and theology are of little interest other than an odd Bible citation to prop up a claim. Small groups read books by well-known authors, rarely are they studies on a single book of the Bible (publishers aren’t selling these as well today), far too many of its most prominent theologians write books unanchored in Scripture and they do not begin with sketches of the Bible.

The Bible Diminished

The most prominent example of this diminishment of Bible is the routine shrug of the shoulders with respect to creeds, confessions and theological claims. It may be the 500th anniversary of the Reformation but what was most central about the Reformation was not Luther, Calvin and Erasmus, but Bible, Bible, Bible. I read Bruce Gordon’s CT essay on books about the Reformation, and not a one was about the importance of the Bible in the Reformation. Revealing. Seemingly, to embrace the Reformation is to embrace the theology of either Luther or Calvin, not embrace what they embraced: the Bible as the living Word of God. The most important act of a Reformationist is to open the Bible and read it.

Mission Work Has Become Social Work

Missions, international missions and foreign missions are now engulfed in NGOs and global justice and water and infrastructure. Evangelicalism was built on evangelistic church-planting pioneers. Always, or at least nearly always, such missionaries were fully engaged in church-planting as well as compassion and provisions so far as they were able. But they were there to preach and teach the gospel and win people for Christ. That’s evangelicalism. A friend of mine, a missionary, told me that the last 15 years in his corner of the missionary world has seen not one new missionary concerned with church planting and evangelism; they are all NGO types. Giving to NGOs is on the rise; giving to church-planting on the decline. Organize a day for evangelism training and you will be alone or close to it; organize a day for some kind of social action and you may see more than Sunday morning service.

Where Are the Pastors?

Speaking of which, vocations for becoming a pastor are diminishing as well. Somewhere at the core of American evangelicalism is an energy that is shaping future leaders into NGOs and social services and away from seminaries, missions training and the calling to local church pastoring. Daily as I scanned my DMin cohort as we toured Israel, I saw a gathering of faithful, hard-working, local church pastors who know the calling is hard and rewarding. I’m proud of their commitment to the Bible. They wanted a DMin but they wanted Bible, Bible in context, but Bible above all.

Atonement Confusion

Atonement theology has fallen on hard times. It has become politicized into penal substitution, which for some means propitiation, vs. some other center of gravity—and more and more it has moved toward Girardian scapegoat theory, exemplary theology or a very soft Christus victor. Hard-headed conservatives are protecting propitiation at all costs and neglecting kingdom themes in the process and so distort atonement, while committed progressivists are determined to prevent the wrath of God against sin and sinners (mentioning Jonathan Edwards does the trick) so they can find some “theory” of atonement that turns the Holy Week into justice and more justice. Evangelicalism from beginning to end is a cross-shaped atonement-based gospel and there is little appeal for a new book like John R.W. Stott’s The Cross of Christ except with the propitiation crowd, who are in an echo chamber of Stott. I have attempted to sketch a comprehensive theory of atonement in A Community Called Atonement.

Embracing Our Flaws

A way to slurring someone is to say they are part of the megachurch movement or the church growth movement or who want to talk about how their church has grown by way of evangelism or baptisms. Conversion’s favorite emphasis is life-long conversion but not first-time declarations of allegiance to Christ. Criticism of the “Four Spiritual Laws” or the “Bridge Illustration” is not replaced with something better but is replaced with exactly nothing.

The pietist basis of Christian activism in evangelicalism, an activism that was first of all evangelistic, missionary-shaped and church-planting oriented, has been swallowed up by social justice activism. Evangelicalism of the 19th century was clearly socially engaged, but it was socially engaged as a piety-based and evangelism-based movement. The skinny jeans crowd today seems more often than not allergic to piety-based, evangelism-based activism. I’ve been told again and again that its form of “evangelism” is deed-based not word-based. That is a failure of nerve and it is failure to be evangelical.

Along this line, words like sanctification—growth in holiness—and holiness itself are heard only in a small circle of the Neo-Reformed and pervade organizations like The Gospel Coalition. In this they are entirely consistent with the core of what “activism” means in evangelicalism. But outside those circles, who’s writing or preaching or speaking about holiness? Not many. Sanctification among such crowds smacks of Puritanism and we’re back to Jonathan Edwards, and that’s a big No-No. But evangelicalism always had its Wesleyan and holiness and sanctification dimension.

Pride in Politics Rather Than Piety

Leaders want a place in the circles around the White House, and when given one it’s a source of pride. Pride is no longer accorded those who faithfully read and teach the Bible, who glory in the cross of Christ, who preach conversions and transformations, and who are engaged in a piety- and evangelism-based activism that encompasses the whole person.

The center of gravity of too much of evangelicalism has shifted away from these crumbling core themes to something else, but in the process evangelicalism has lost its soul.

This article originally appeared here.

“God Told Me” and Other Embarrassing Phrases Christians Use

Brian Jones

July 16, 2017

Whenever someone tells you something that begins with the three words “God told me” you should immediately:

1. Look for the nearest exit.

2. If said exit is locked, attempt to cut them off mid-sentence by poking them in the eye.

3. If they are significantly taller than you and hence out of eye-poking reach, quickly lift your pant legs up as high as possible because you are about to wade through a pile of really smelly stuff.

The Truth Behind “God Told Me”

God has never spoken directly to me, ever…

Not through a dream.

Not through a strange set of circumstances.

Not through a person.

Not in my head.

Not in my spirit.

Not in my gut.

Not one time. Never. Nada. Zip. In all my 50 years of walking on this planet I can say with the utmost confidence that the creator of the heavens and the earth has NEVER spoken directly to me.

But…

There have been numerous times that I’ve felt confident that God had indirectly spoken to me…

Through a dream.

Through a strange set of circumstances.

Through people.

In my head.

In my spirit.

In my gut.

The problem is when those times occurred, I wasn’t sure if it was God that was communicating with me, or if I had too much pizza the night before.

And that’s the issue—we’re never sure. Ever. And that’s just the way it should be.

How God Speaks to Us

The only time we should ever feel 100 percent certain that God is speaking directly to us is when we are reading the Bible.

All other times, and I mean ALL other times…

…regardless of how good the moment feels

…or if you are having a mountaintop experience at a church camp bonfire

…or if a trusted pastor is sharing some startling revelation about your future

…or especially when everything within your soul screams that what you are sensing is coming directly from the throne-room of God

…in all of these times ALWAYS take whatever information/prompting/leading you think is coming directly from God with a graceful measure of incredulity.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

The annals of church history are filled with the stories of people who thought they heard from God, but sadly didn’t. Unfortunately I can’t think of any of those stories right now, because I have too many of my own to ponder.

Embarrassing Phrases Christians Use and How They Hurt People

Soon after my conversion and entering preparation for the ministry, I visited a young family in the hospital whose daughter was dying of leukemia. On the way down the corridor, praying, hoping, pleading with God for him to heal her, I suddenly became aware of the fact that God had spoken to me—he was going to heal that little girl.

So I laid my hands on her and prayed.

And told the father all he had to do was believe.

And turned to the mother and told her all she had to do was have faith.

And then I went home.

Two weeks later that little girl died.

I saw that father in a Pizza Hut a few years later. I slowly extended my right hand to shake his, but he didn’t respond in kind. He just stared. His eyes welled up with tears, and then he slowly walked away.

Point #3 above said that whenever someone begins a sentence with “God told me” you should hike up your pants.

I share that from personal experience.

This article originally appeared here.

Ten 21st-Century Sins (and One Remedy)

Carolyn Moore

July 14, 2017

By Paul’s telling of it, sin is sin. He lumps the obvious together with the less obvious. Rage and sexual dysfunction. Drunkenness and unforgiveness. Lying gets in pretty much every list. None of it is good for the soul. None of it fits through Heaven’s door.

The funny thing about sin is how it can lure us into thinking ours isn’t so bad. Most of us who sit in church have mastered the big ones. Not all of us, obviously, but most of us don’t smoke, chew or dance with the girls who do. We grew out of getting drunk. We don’t kill or steal.

What, then, are the sins of our generation? The quiet, insidious ones that sneak up on us and steal our joy? I asked my friends on Facebook what they’d place on a 21st-century sin list and these are their responses:

1. Entitlement. Another generation might have called it greed. One of my friends wisely noted that a sense of entitlement actually disables our ability to connect with others, perhaps because it fosters a spirit of competition (which kills community). We condition ourselves to weigh everything and everyone against some unattainable ideal or against what we think we deserve. I deserve what you have or I deserve more or you deserve less.

2. Fear. Related to this one is shame and unforgiveness, both of which are generated out of a spirit of fear. Shame is “in” these days (google it), so we’re finally calling out this base emotion that keeps us trapped in immaturity. It refuses to acknowledge that the One who lives in me is greater than the one who lives in the world. It also causes me to practice a self-protective posture. A self-protective (read “fearful”) crouch is fundamentally opposed to the personality of Jesus.

3. Jealousy. One of my Facebook friends also mentioned “professional jealousy,” which is an insightful twist on a very biblical sin (“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” –James 4:1). We wouldn’t think as adults of voicing our jealousy over a friend’s car, raise or more functional spouse. But we won’t think twice about subtly sabotaging successful co-workers. Subtlety in this context is another term for passive aggression, which I personally consider to be among the most evil of community-destroying behaviors.

4. Anonymous anger. Yet another version of passive aggression, this one often manifests itself online (an addiction to being online gets an honorable mention here as a valid 21st-century sin). The heart beneath anonymous anger—the kind that shows up in traffic, in the comment sections of news sites, in gossip, in tweets about people we don’t personally know—reveals a lack of compassion. This is a heart sickness that comes back to bite us. Paul says as much. “If you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another” (Galatians 5:15).

5. Passivity/sloth. The other end of active anger is emotional disconnection. This one will sneak up on us from behind. Over-stimulated by so much aggressiveness and so many words, we find ourselves disappearing into binge-sessions of NCIS (preaching to myself here) or worse yet, reality TV (where we can feel better about ourselves because at least we’re not them).

6. Instant gratification. Trolling website after website, gathering pictures of stuff on our Pinterest pages, which we then become impatient to own or make. No boundaries. No patience.

7. Self-deception. One friend says this is us “trying to convince ourselves that we as individuals are more valuable than those around us.” Related to entitlement, self-deception takes us a step further down the road, adding fantasy to frustrated destiny. When we are not honest with ourselves, that gap between who we are and who we want to be is a breeding ground for frustration.

8. Objectification. Clumping people into piles then slapping broad labels on them, we learn to treat people who aren’t like us as if they have nothing to teach us. That includes those who live in other political camps and even those who live in other sin camps. But what if the people who are least like us are actually doorways into the Kingdom?

9. Narcissism. The friend who voted this one onto the list specifically mentioned selfies, which seem innocent (and probably are) until the accumulation of them begins to make us believe that we are the center of our universe around which everyone else is circling, hitting the “like” button as they pass by.

10. Pride. The deep root out of which all our contemporary sins sprout turns out to be the oldest sin in the Book. As a sin, pride never seems to go out of style. Oddly, its bedfellow is self-hatred. Pride and self-hatred are two sides of the same coin. It is us, like the proverbial “man behind the curtain,” doing our best to make ourselves appear more powerful than we are so we won’t be labeled worthless, which is what we actually believe.

Which of these is your personal battle?

Choose your sin, and the remedy is the same: humility. Or Jesus, whose primary personality trait is humility. It is the willingness to get outside ourselves, to get over ourselves, to believe in something bigger than ourselves. To place our time and emphasis on loving God and loving others rather than protecting self.

Humility. An old remedy for what ends up being the oldest (only?) sin…pride.

This article originally appeared here.

Help, I’m the Old Guy on Staff! (How to Manage Millennials With Mercy)

Kurt Bubna

July 14, 2017

I’m not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way, I became the old guy on our church staff. I don’t think of myself as old. I’m social media savvy. I text on my iphone 7+. I don’t use it, but I even have a snapchat account (I’m not sure why).

Of course, I don’t wear skinny jeans, spike my hair, have a long beard or have the coolest eyeglasses. I don’t sleep more than six to seven hours a night. I still say “dude,” and I enjoy a mid-afternoon power nap. I also now qualify for the senior discount at a growing number of places.

OK, at almost 60, maybe I am old, but I’m learning some things about relating to millennials. I’ll get there in a second, but let’s first attempt to describe who is what.

The generation breakdown is a bit difficult to define. In fact, the census bureau doesn’t classify the different generations except for boomers (those born between 1946 and 1964, who are roughly 52-70 years old).

The media, or some self-proclaimed pundit somewhere, have said that gen-xers are those born between 1965 and 1981, those who are 35-51. Millennials are typically those under 35, born between 1982 and 2004.

I’ve never been a big fan of pigeon-holing people, and there are plenty of folks who defy definition, but I recognize that some significant differences exist among these age groups.

That being said, how does a boomer love and care for a staff comprised of some gen-xers and lots of millennials?

Here are seven lessons I’m learning:

Be a good listener. If you’re a pastor, you’ve told couples a thousand times, “You’ll see some major improvements in your marriage if you work on your listening skills.” We all know how important this is, but we senior pastors (pun intended) have a nasty habit of liking the sound of our own voice when it comes to managing staff. However, it’s better to ask insightful and useful questions and to listen sincerely. You’ll make great headway with a gen-xer or millennial who feels genuinely heard.

Clearly define your expectations. Listen first and listen well, but you’ll avoid a lot of frustration with everyone if you work hard to spell out what you want (or don’t want) and when you need it. Communication is a challenge when assumptions are made and ambivalence and indecision are present.

Pick your battles. On a regular basis, while being challenged by one of the young bucks on my staff or in other areas of my life, I’m consciously thinking, “How much does this truly matter? Is this a hill worth dying on?” Be honest. When it’s all said and done, does their way conflict with your ultimate goal? If you’ve defined the “win” (your clear expectations), it’s OK to give a lot of latitude to those doing the work. Of course, there are times when you should pull rank and say, “Thank you for your input, but this is what you’re going to do.” Just make sure those times are done in love and after you’ve listened to them well. Also, learn to under-react rather than over-react.

Don’t get defensive. Millennials are sometimes combative. I know that’s a generalization and not always true, but it is a common trait among the young. They rarely lack an opinion, and they often won’t back off until they feel valued and heard (review the point above about listening). Yes, it’s irritating when it seems like you aren’t being respected and your experience is being rejected or discounted as irrelevant, but take a deep breath and work hard not to be aggressive, defensive or cynical, because doing so never ends well for anyone. Remember, millennials want to be valued (which is a good thing), and their opinions matter too.

Be mindful of the common ground you probably have with millennials. Keep in mind, many boomers (myself included) once were the arrogant, cocky, self-absorbed, know-it-alls who challenged everybody. Sooner or later, most people figure out that the generation before them weren’t all idiots and that experience actually does matter.
Lead by example. Words matter. Actions matter more. If you want them to work hard—then work hard. If you want them to have a servant’s heart—serve. If you want them to listen more and talk less—listen more. If you want them to learn from their elders and be teachable—you keep learning too. Being a lifelong learner isn’t easy. At my age, I’ve caught myself thinking, “I deserve a break. I shouldn’t have to work 10-12 hour days anymore. Where’s that life cruise-control button?” But relevance and respect must be earned, even if you’re old.

Be patient. If heading up a church staff and being the lead pastor were easy, you probably wouldn’t be needed. Believe me when I say, staff challenges are common. Put two or more humans together and some conflict is inevitable. Be patient with your young staff, and be patient with yourself.

Mistakes will happen. People will fail you, and you will fail them, but failure is always an opportunity for change and growth.

I’m thankful for the younger staff who surround me. I believe in them, and I see enormous potential for the future of the church led by these young people. I deeply value the input and perspective of the young. In many ways, my church is what it is because of the millennials who contribute so much to who we are and what we do.
Sure, you and I might be old, but God’s not done with us yet. We still have the opportunity to shape the generations in our wake. Whether we do or don’t will have a lot to do with our attitude.

Enough said. Time for my nap.

This article originally appeared here.

4 Harmful Impacts of Leaders Who Need to Be Liked

Eric Geiger

July 14, 2017

Typically genuine and kind and reasonable people like being liked. They don’t wake up in the morning wondering if they can cause a new person to hate them today. But needing to be liked is different. When someone needs approval from others, the person is willing to sacrifice conviction and do anything to earn that approval. Leaders who need to be liked adversely impact those they are leading.

Elena Botelho has done extensive research on leaders and has concluded that leaders who are nice to the detriment of being decisive hurt the organizations they lead. Her research findings do not advocate a mean, harsh and dictatorial approach to leadership but do point out the dangers in leaders who crave the affections of people they lead. Here are four ways leaders who need to be liked hurt those they are leading:

1. Directions continually change.

Leaders who need to be liked are likely to change directions from day to day, even from meeting to meeting as they alter the communication of the mission to appease those they are speaking to. Instead of a central theme guiding the organization, the desire to be liked guides it.

2. Values are compromised.

Instead of defining culture as shared values that guide action, leaders who need to be liked gauge culture by people liking what they say. Sadly, what they say can change frequently because convictional values don’t drive them; people liking them is their ultimate motivation.

3. Attention and resources are divided.

Leaders who need to be liked struggle to say “no,” resulting in competing goals and plans. Thus resources and attention are spread too thinly amongst a myriad of agendas.

4. Conflicts are ignored.

Leaders who need to be liked struggle to have difficult conversations and to hold people accountable. As conflicts bubble beneath the surface, trust dissipates.

Being a kind, gentle and generous leader is not the same as needing to be liked. A leader who needs to be liked gives the mere perception of kindness, gentleness and generosity, but the leadership is actually unhelpful and hurtful.

This article originally appeared here.

3 Areas of Growth After Learning the Hard Way

John Tyler Black

July 13, 2017

I am not writing this as an expert, but I am currently learning some valuable lessons the hard way. In May, as this Small Group Semester came to a close, I began to call a few groups to ask about their summer plans. As I hung up the phone with one group leader, my worst fears were realized and my thoughts for shortcomings were confirmed. The leader on the other end of the phone informed me, We’ve actually been attending [another local church] since January. Our group just ended and we couldn’t find anyone to take over for the future… While you may argue, I know I did, this will happen sometimes, I knew it resonated a lot deeper than changing churches. I sat there a few minutes after thinking, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! How was a family gone for an entire semester and I didn’t know about this?! This family was super connected, served within the Small Group Team Leader level for a period, and was phenomenal in all aspects of connecting and leading families in our church. Was this happening elsewhere?

After a couple of days of self-evaluation, I had to admit to myself that I was missing the mark in two major areas of caring for my Small Group Leaders. First, I ASSUMED—because of certain people’s connectedness or other factors—that some leaders were OK without much communication. The second mistake I made was that I tried to conquer the Small Group hill ALONE! Properly caring for Small Group Leaders is vital to numerical growth and, more importantly, spiritual growth within the church. These leaders, and others, were not properly cared for, and I want to walk through three steps I am taking into the Fall Semester to ensure we are active in caring for our Small Group Leaders.

We want to be clear in our PURPOSE for Small Groups. This mission of our church is to help people take their Next Step in Christ. I want to make sure that our leaders know this and understand that Small Groups help achieve this purpose. This clarity in purpose will help our leaders know their group is much more than a weekly potluck, but it’s oozing with opportunity to make an eternal difference in the life of an individual and/or family! It will take away any doubt of do we really matter here or thought of they’ll never miss us.
We will actively MEASURE the spiritual growth within our Small Groups. We’ve not done this strategically before. In the past, we have simply asked for stories, which is great, but we wanted to take it a step further. We want to celebrate every success we had. For instance, two of our softball teams had 18 new people to begin attending church for the first time! We will ask our leaders and members about the steps they took in their faith through a survey (click here to check out our leader’s survey and member’s survey). I believe people see what we hold as most important to us by what we measure. We then follow up this process by sharing the stats and stories, so that the leaders know the difference that they are making.
We will EMPOWER leaders in an active, simple system. In the past, I’ve waited on empowering others because I didn’t have enough leaders, they weren’t the correct leaders or some other lame excuse. If it wasn’t perfect and fully operational then I waited until it was. At another time, we had Team Leaders that oversaw groups, but their involvement, and mine, faded as it didn’t appear in the perfect, thought out way we envisioned them. Bottomline is, having people to simply support and connect with small group leaders is essential. It communicates that the church does care for them, they are essential to what we (the church) do, and we want to do everything we can to partner with and encourage them where they are.

I know there will be more to closing the back end of a system, to make sure that ALL small group leaders are cared for, but these three action steps will start me on my way. After reading chapter two of Small Groups with Purpose, I know I can’t afford to wait until I have it all figured out. I encourage you to use these action steps, and find your own, to care for you leaders in a better way.

This article originally appeared here.

5 Surprising Discoveries About Growing Churches

Thom Rainer

July 13, 2017

Do you want the bad news first or the good news first?

I always ask for the bad news first. I can’t enjoy the good news knowing that a report of bad news looms in the next few statements.

So I gave you some bad news in my Monday post. I shared with you the statistical reality of the death spiral. Once a church declines below 100 in average worship attendance, its rate of decline accelerates. In other words, the church declines faster and faster.

In this article, I share some good news. The news is about the growing churches in our study. As a review, you can look at the details of our research at my blog post on June 28, 2017. Simply stated, we conducted a random sample of 1,000 churches with data from 2013 and 2016. The margin of error of the research is +/- 3.1 percent. It’s an accurate study. It’s a very accurate study.

So let’s take a few moments and look at the churches whose average worship attendance grew from 2013 to 2016. Here are five of the surprising discoveries from this research:

Over one-third of the churches are growing. The conventional wisdom says 80 percent of churches are declining or plateaued. Our research shows that number to either be a myth or no longer relevant. Among the 1,000 churches we randomly selected, “only” 65 percent are declining or plateaued. In other words, 35 percent are growing.
If a church is growing, it is highly likely to be growing faster than the community in which it is located. In fact, 91 percent of the growing churches are outpacing the growth of the community. That is a huge number! And it’s really good news if we can move our churches from decline to growth.
There is a good representation of churches that are both growing and are evangelistically effective. Granted, the percentage of the total churches in this category is low, but we have sufficient numbers to conduct deep dive research on many of the churches individually. This information may prove to be some of the most relevant and powerful, especially from the perspective of evangelism renewal in our churches.
Growth and evangelistic effectiveness are not limited to any one geographic area. To the contrary, we saw a very low correlation between the geographic region and evangelistic effectiveness. I see such information as very hopeful, because it tells us that demographics and geographic location are not usually limitations for churches. I will expand upon this discovery in a future post in a few days.
We can no longer use membership in our metrics for churches. It does little good to use membership as a metric in most studies of large numbers of churches. Many churches have bloated membership rolls filled with missing and deceased members. Other churches don’t bother to even measure membership at all. This reality forces us to use worship attendance as our base metric. It is the most common and, usually, the most accurate metric churches keep.

As a final note in this post, I was really surprised by these summary metrics. I think you will be too.

31.8 percent of churches are growing, and they are growing faster than their respective communities.
3.0 percent of churches are growing, but not as fast as their respective communities.
4.2 percent of churches are declining or plateaued, but they are not declining as rapidly as their respective communities.
61.0 percent of churches are declining or plateaued, and they are declining more rapidly than their respective communities.

In my next post, I will look at the evangelistic metrics of our churches. Brace yourself for an abrupt dose of reality.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Preach Well

1. HOW TO PREACH: PREACHING IS CENTRAL IN THE CHURCH

Key Questions:

Key Quotes:

Mentioned in the Show:

1. Give them a personal challenge.

2. Give them complete confidence.

3. Give them honest counsel.

4. Give them full credit.

1. You See Setbacks in Ministry as a Personal Statement From God About You

2. You Believe That Greater Faithfulness Should Result in Greater Impact in Ministry

3. You Are Convinced God Should Protect You From Pain

4. You Confuse Your Work Life With Your Devotional Life

5. You Find It Hard to Believe That God Loves You Simply Because He Loves You

A brief glimpse into LGBT+ history

Unfortunately, this injustice continues on today

A missional path to the marginalized

The Culture.

The PURITY.

The Control.

A Purity Prayer for you:

To Press In or to Withdraw?

#1 – Adopt a people-first communication approach.

#2 – Put friendly people in visible places.

#3 – Design your homepage exclusively for guests.

#4 – Equip your people to invite.

#5 – Partner with existing events in your community.

Take a Next Step

The Bible Diminished

Mission Work Has Become Social Work

Where Are the Pastors?

Atonement Confusion

Embracing Our Flaws

Pride in Politics Rather Than Piety

The Truth Behind “God Told Me”

How God Speaks to Us

Embarrassing Phrases Christians Use and How They Hurt People

Here are seven lessons I’m learning:

Mistakes will happen. People will fail you, and you will fail them, but failure is always an opportunity for change and growth.

1. Directions continually change.

2. Values are compromised.

3. Attention and resources are divided.

4. Conflicts are ignored.

New Articles

New Podcasts