7 Questions Kids Ask About Divorce

April 25, 2017

I remember the first time my oldest son recognized that divorce existed. A friend in his class had two sets of parents, and my son had a lot of questions about it. I fumbled over my words trying to explain the reality of divorce while also reassuring him that his mom and me would always be married to each other. I’ll never forget what my son said next. As his little mind processed all his feelings and my attempts to reassure him that he would never have to live through a divorce, he looked at me and said, “I’ll bet his parents promised him the same thing.”

In that moment, I realized that I was not equipped to address this important issue with my own kids. To help all of us parents have these important conversations with our children, I’ve spent more time researching this important issue. I wanted to get to the root of how children are impacted by divorce (or even by the possibility of divorce).

I’m going to list these out in a different format than usual. Instead of just listing stats and facts, I’m going to list out some of the most common fears of children in their own words. These nine common questions kids ask about divorce are sobering and they reveal so much about how our children are processing this complicated issue and how we (whether we’re married or divorced) should be communicating with them to alleviate their fears.

The Seven Questions Kids Ask about Divorce are (in no particular order)…

1. Will I have to choose between my parents?

One of the biggest fears of all children is that they’ll be put in a position where they have to choose between their mom and dad. Do all you can to calm these fears and give your child the security of knowing that he/she will be in a loving home always…no matter what. Just knowing that these “what if’s” are on your child’s mind can help you be more intentional with how your communicate.

#2 might be the biggest fear kids have with divorce…

2. If my parents stop loving each other, does that mean they could stop loving me?

The most important lesson you can teach your children (whether you are married or divorced) is that your kids are loved unconditionally. Communicate this through your words and your actions. As you communicate it, try to understand how your child is wrestling with this notion of unconditional love, because our kids often base their view of love in large part by how they see their parents loving (or not loving) each other. They’ll need a lot of reassurance to know that the end of a marriage does not mean you could at some point stop loving them too. Love them. Reassure them. Repeat.

#3 reveals one of kids’ biggest fears with blended families and step siblings…

3. If my mom/dad has a new family, will another kid replace me?

Blended families can create new set of complexities for children. Parents tend to focus on the positives by explaining that the kids now get a “bonus” sibling or two Christmases instead of one. These positives can be good to highlight, but don’t miss out on the underlying fear that many children fear that these new siblings (or even a new baby with your new spouse) could somehow replace them. It goes back to #2. Reassure them of your love and the unique place they’ll ALWAYS have in your heart and in your life.

#4 isn’t talked about often, but it’s one of the biggest fears kids have when they think about divorce…

4. Will every holiday and special event from now on be a little sad?

Holidays, birthdays and special occasions are anchor points giving stability to children, and divorce threatens to shatter those moments of celebration and stability. Decide way ahead of time how you’ll keep each holiday special. Decide ahead of time that there will be NO DRAMA at these events when ex spouses are present. Make them a celebration and make sure your kids always have special celebrations to look forward to.

#5 might be the least surprising question on the list, but it’s probably an even bigger deal to kids than you realized…

5. Did I do something to cause my parents to divorce?

One of the first things parents tell their kids when they announce a divorce or separation is that, “…this is NOT your fault.” This is an important truth to communicate, and it needs to be communicated more than once. It might not be practical or healthy to tell your children all the reasons why you and your spouse are splitting up, but make sure one consistent message is that you and your spouse are and will always be unified in your love for the kids.

#6 is a fear that reveals why so many young adults are postponing marriage or avoiding it altogether…

6. Will I ever get married, and if I do, will I get divorced too?

Younger generations are postponing marriage or forgoing it altogether and it’s largely because these young adults grew up in surrounded by divorce, and they don’t want to repeat it in their own marriage. One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is a high view of marriage. Make them excited to be married and to have a family of their own someday. Even if your own marriage ended, don’t pass on a cynical view of marriage to your kids.

Most people are surprised that even their grown children still ask question #7…

7. Will my parents get back together someday?

One of the most consistent questions kids of divorce ask is this one. Kids of all ages (even grownups) still hold out hope that their divorced parents will get back together. Keep this in mind as you communicate with your kids and as you move forward with your life. Even while you are moving forward and pursuing other relationships, your kids are still hoping and praying for your and your husband/wife to get back together.

I hope this article has given you some tools to help you have more encouraging conversations with your kids around these important issues. For more tools to help you build a stronger family, please check out my free online reading plan on the “7 Laws of Love” by clicking HERE.

If this article helped you, please share it so we can help others too!

This article originally appeared here.

Is It Sinful to Build Your Personal Brand?

April 25, 2017

In the last six months or so, I have seen an influx of famous Christians pushing back against the idea of Christians having “platforms” or “brands.”

Once I push through the irony of famous Christian men and women using their large platforms and well-known brands to decry the practice of building one’s platform or brand, I have to take a moment to put aside my personal biases.

My literal day job is helping authors build their digital platforms. So, I guess you could say that when I see people talk about my work like it’s a dirty sin, I take it a little personally. You would be wise to read the rest of this post taking that into account.

A Word on Words

I try to use the words “platform,” “branding” and “marketing” as little as possible when I am helping an author with his or her online presence because I know the negative weight these words carry with most people. I feel dirty saying them, too, sometimes, because they sound slimy to many.

But, these words are ultimately the simplest words to use when describing the strategy one uses to connect with one’s audience in order to proclaim the message they have.

If you have a better word to use than “platform,” let me know. I’d love to use it. But, it’s the easiest word we have to use for now, so I’ll be using it throughout this post. Also, because I primarily work in the digital space, whenever I say “platform” I’m talking about social media/online platforming, not offline speaking or other “platforms.”

A Means to Serve Others, Not Promote Ourselves

Every time I meet with an author for the first time to discuss online platforms and branding, I say the same thing:

“I am more interested helping you use the gifts God has given you to faithfully serve people online than I am in getting you to sell more books.”

No author has ever had a problem with me saying that. If an author had a problem with me saying that, I would know we had some heart work to do before we could start in on any strategic platform work.

A Christian who has an online platform ultimately is using a gift he or she has been given by God to build up others for the good of the kingdom of God.

The Lord has gifted all of us in different ways. Some gifts receive more public attention than others—those who have the gift of teaching are often given more opportunities to platform that gift than people who have the gift of service or the like.

Ultimately, I believe God has given us various gifts and proficiencies that we are supposed to use to serve and equip others for gospel ministry—this goes beyond “spiritual gifts.”

Are you really good at knitting? How can you use that gift for the building up of the kingdom of God?

Are you a proficient fisherman? How might that gift be used for the encouragement of others?

Has God given you the ability to write well? Consider how that gift may be used for Great Commission work.

However the Lord has gifted us, and however spiritual or unspiritual those gifts may seem, our responsibility is to use the gifts and interests the Lord has given us for his glory.

Here’s a personal example from my own tiny platform here:

This week, a church leader from East Tennessee emailed me asking for some ideas about how to reach the Millennials in her community this summer through their VBS program, as the parents of the children are Millennials. I was able to use the interest God has given me in generational studies to serve a random church leader from East Tennessee in a way I would not have been able to otherwise without this blog.

This is where part of the conflict begins: In order to use the gifts God has given us to serve others, we have to actually interact with others. So, in the context of serving people through the Internet, this means we have to engage in social media. We have to “platform” ourselves in one way or another.

You can have the best blog in the world, but if you aren’t sharing it on social media or through some other means, no one will know it exists, and ultimately, you aren’t serving other people at that point. An unshared blog is an online personal diary: a nice exercise, but in the end it is only a service to yourself.

If we are going to use the gifts God has given us in the digital space, we need to engage other people online. The conflict I believe we’re seeing now in the vast pushback against Christians “platforming” themselves is at least partially rooted here.

No one seems to have a problem with Christians being on social media—all of these conversations are happening on social media—the problem seems to be with the promotion or sharing of one’s content on social media.

So What Do We Do?

How might a Christian go about building an online platform/presence in order to use the gifts God has given to serve others and build up the kingdom of God without falling into traps such as self-promotion or prideful gain?

Here are two basic steps I have tried to take myself and have encouraged others to take:

1. Examine our hearts.

First, when wading into the digital space, we have to check our own hearts. Why are we building a presence on social media? Why are we investing the time, energy and money in a blog? These and other such questions are ones we must answer for ourselves.

We cannot create a blog and invest in an online presence for the purpose of becoming famous. Outside of the fact that doing so is a self-seeking, sinful pursuit, investing hours in an active blog and social media presence is a bad way to try to become famous. If you want to become famous via the Internet, your time would be better spent trying to get your cat to go viral or something. It takes a lot less time and effort that way.

Does paying to boost your Facebook post violate your conscience because you think it’s sinful to advertise your work? Don’t do it.

Is even having a Twitter presence problematic for you because you think you would only be able to engage for self-seeking reasons? Don’t create an account.

In John 14:26, Jesus tells us that the Holy Spirit is given to us to remind us of Jesus’ words, and in 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Paul tells us that the Word of God is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that we might be a equipped for every good work.

If in building an online presence via a blog, social media or otherwise, we violate our on consciences and feel slimy, we need to stop. I have felt this way before and have killed some projects and pursuits because of it.

When we establish an online presence or platform, we need to ask ourselves what our motivations are for doing so. Are our motivations to give or gain, to serve or to be praised?

2. Seek accountability.

We are all sinners and are plagued by self-righteous, sinful hearts. Because of this, many of us are so blind to our sin that we can “examine our hearts” all we want, but we will never be able to see when we’re pursuing something like an online platform for selfish gain.

We need accountability when it comes to our online platforms. All believers need one or three or 10 people in their lives who can send a text, make a phone call or in some other way instantly tell us, “You’re being a fool. Stop.” Likewise, we need to be meeting with a person or group of people on a regular basis who can monitor our activity and tell us if they see sinful pride and self-seeking postures in our online activity.

We need to be aware of our own consciences and motivations, but sin often keeps us from rightly seeing our own hearts. Seeking accountability allows us to hear the wisdom of others who, though also sinful, may see us more clearly than we see ourselves.

Might we say as David does in Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns.
See if there is any offensive way in me;
lead me in the everlasting way.

Final Thoughts

The discussion around building online platforms or brands has been somewhat discouraging to me because it feels like many are disparaging what I do on a daily basis.

It is my understanding that, with proper accountability in place, Christian platforming that seeks to serve others with the gifts God has given us for the glory of his name is a worthwhile pursuit. At the same time, platforming for the sake of acquiring book deals or fame is to be avoided.

Platforming is a neutral practice. The motivation of our hearts and the goals of our work, like in any profession or pursuit, are ultimately what make our efforts sinfully self-seeking or righteously God-glorifying.

This article originally appeared here.

You Can’t Get More Time, but You Can Expand Your Capacity

Brandon Cox

April 25, 2017

168. That’s it.

You and I have exactly the same amount of time. Rich or poor, young or old, we each get 168 hours in a week’s time.

With some of that, we need to rest, or we’ll get fewer total weeks in our short lives. With some of that time, we need to spend quality time with people, building friendships and relationships.

And with some of that time, we work. Actually, most of us work during a lot of that 168 hours, proportionally speaking.

How many times have you gotten to the end of the day, or the week, or maybe just Monday morning, and said, “If I just had more time, I’d…”

Reality check: You can’t get more time.

But what you can do is expand your capacity. You have the ability to be more fruitful with the same amount of time you’re working now.

I recently wrote on another website about the difference between bandwidth and capacity, and how we often confuse the two.

Bandwidth pertains to how much time we have for a given area of life, such as family, work or volunteering. And capacity refers to how much fruit I am able to bear in that given amount of time.

When I was a kid, I used to help my grandfather carry things from one barn to another. He was a little slow and I was a little kid, so I could easily keep up with him. We took the same amount of time walking between the barns. But he was strong and could carry easily six times as much as I could. We had equal bandwidth but he had much greater capacity.

The only way to increase your bandwidth is to quit doing something you’re already doing with your 168 hours. You can shift the budget around and get more time for volunteering if you use less time for leisure, and so forth.

Most of us overestimate our bandwidth (the amount of time we can spare), but we underestimate our capacity (what we’re capable of doing with the time we have).

We think we’ve got plenty of time to commit to more tasks and we’ll figure out a way to squeeze it all in. That’s how we start down the path of burnout.

There are far more ways to expand your capacity than your bandwidth.

My grandfather had spent years working with his hands, all the while expanding his capacity to move things from one barn to the other. He had slowly expanded his capacity.

So, here’s the million dollar question…how can you expand your capacity?

Let me give you a few ways.

1. Be a lifelong learner.

Every time you learn a new skill, you increase your capacity. I knew nothing about the world of business until I read some good leadership books. I also met with friends who were in business and gleaned whatever knowledge they were willing to share with me.

Then, I tried my hand at joining a friend in a business venture. It failed. (I still like to think our idea was just ahead of its time.) But in failing, I learned a lot about marketing, financing and even football (it’s a long story).

Right now, I’m learning about coaching. I’ve been coaching leaders for quite a few years now, but I must keep learning to increase my capacity to produce greater fruit.

We learn when we read good books, when we take courses and seminars, and when we learn from coaches and mentors, we expand our capacity.

2. Do what you do well, the most.

When I was a teenager, I worked for my Dad. We remodeled houses, built decks and took on other residential construction projects. My Dad, because of a bout with polio at a young age, only has one good arm to work with, but he can swing a hammer like nobody’s business.

He knew how to do pretty much any home improvement job (except electricity—another long story). I, on the other hand, was terrible with a hammer. I have about a .350 average on hitting the nail. That’d be great in baseball…not so much in construction. But I’d spent my childhood carrying things.

So I would carry things and Dad would do most of the tasks that required actual skill. And because we had a bit of a system, it worked.

There is a lot of power in discovering your gifts, your passions and your abilities, and working within that sphere. It’s OK to change careers, but it’s unproductive to try to be someone you’re not.

3. Do the things you don’t do well, less.

I’m not arguing that you can’t ever do tasks outside your skillset. All of us will need to do difficult things to live productive lives. That’s the nature of work.

But how long will you continue doing things you don’t like doing and aren’t very good at when you have the choice to do something else?

Doing the things we don’t do well, less, requires the disciplines of both discernment (to understand your own reality) and delegation (whenever it’s possible to hand off tasks to others).

In business, this is referred to as planned abandonment. I’m going to purposely neglect the things that aren’t productive and shift that energy and focus to what does produce results.

4. Work with people.

I don’t know who said it first—John Maxwell maybe?—but, teamwork makes the dream work.

There’s a reason farming communities come together to build their neighbors’ barns. When you combine people with various skills and expertise, you increase your capacity.

I lead a great church. It’s growing and healthy. And it isn’t because of the preaching…it’s the staff. I’m blessed to be surrounded by capable, willing, amazing people who do what they do very well and with a ton of dedication.

And, our staff members are leaders who gather others to their team to accomplish more. Right now, we’re looking at a great new book called Teams That Thrive: Five Disciplines of Collaborative Church Leadership.

According to the authors, Ryan Hartwig and Warren Bird, there are five things that healthy teams do well:

Focus on purpose.
Leverage differences in team membership.
Rely on inspiration more than control to lead.
Intentionally structure decision-making.
Build a culture of continuous collaboration.

We’re evaluating which of the five is the discipline we really need more focus on, but the discussion is reminding us how much we need each other!

You’ll never be able to get more time. You can’t buy it. You can’t manufacture it. You can only budget the time you have.

You can, however, increase your capacity by learning, by doing what you do well more, and by working with the right people along the way!

This article originally appeared here.

5 Ways to Grow a Culture of Trust

J.D. Greear

April 25, 2017

Around the Summit offices, we often remind ourselves to “assume the best about others” and “give the benefit of the doubt wherever we can.” As staff culture goes, I think we do remarkably well. But we need to be vigilant about cultivating trust, because trust doesn’t come natural to any of us. We’re like cars out of alignment: The moment we take our hands off the wheel, we veer right back into mistrust and suspicion.

Here are five ways we can help a culture of trust grow on our staff.

1. Fill in the gaps with trust.

As Andy Stanley puts it, we all know what it’s like to face a gap between expectation and reality. The meeting started at 2:00 (expectation) but your coworker walks in at 2:20 (reality). An important project goes live (reality) without anyone consulting you (expectation).

When we sense one of these gaps, we have a choice. Our natural tendency is to fill the gap with suspicion: He was late because he’s lazy; she didn’t consult me because she doesn’t value my opinion; he said that because he’s a racist. But cultivating a culture of trust means choosing to fill those gaps with trust instead.

We might think this is difficult, but there’s one person in our lives that we tend to treat this way already—ourselves. Patrick Lencioni (in The Advantage) points out that we all tend to attribute our own negative behaviors to environmental factors. I was late because someone stopped me on the way out the door, and it would have been rude to blow him off. I couldn’t get the assignment done because I have too much on my plate. I didn’t ask Phil for his feedback because I thought he was out of town. We “fill the gap with trust” all the time with ourselves. What we need to do is to extend the same kindness to others.

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” right? Shouldn’t the Golden Rule extend to the way we interpret others’ actions?

Filling the gaps with trust doesn’t mean we ignore failure. But if our posture is one of trust, we’ll approach people with questions rather than accusations. We’ll assume that there’s some information we don’t have, so our tone will sound more like, “You aren’t usually like this. Is something going on?”

2. Be a person who engenders trustworthiness.

Building a culture of trust begins with being a person worthy of trust. So if you’re going to be late to a meeting, let people know. If you’re behind on a project, say something before the deadline comes…and goes.

And if you make a mistake, own up to it. (Quickly, too. As Donald Rumsfeld says, bad news doesn’t get better with time.) If you’re a quality worker, then your failures shouldn’t bother those you work with too deeply. Failure, after all, isn’t always the result of poor planning or character flaws; often it’s the natural byproduct of trying something new. Try anything worthwhile for long enough and you’re going to foul up. But what you do when you foul up is huge. Do you cover it up? Push the blame to someone else? Or do you own it? Leaders own their mistakes and use them to improve. The end result is a rising tide in a culture of trust.

3. Promote a culture of trust even when the conflict is not about you.

The operative word here is culture. Your workplace isn’t a silo where you only interact with the people who are relevant to your slice of the job. You interact with all sorts of people all day, even if it’s informal and brief. An interaction doesn’t have to pertain to your job description to move the needle, either toward trust or suspicion. You should think of yourself as an agent whose mission is to promote trust in every interaction.

So, for instance, when you hear a co-worker trashing another co-worker, you step in to defend him. You encourage your peers to fill the gaps with trust. Even if the conflict is about someone that isn’t even on your team, you nip it in the bud. You say, “Let’s assume that our co-workers are smart and have good intentions,” so much that people get sick of hearing it.

You can take this too far, of course, and become the nosy Trust Police. But I find that we’re generally more inclined to gossip and backbite than we are to step in and defend people too often. Remember, a culture of suspicion happens automatically; a culture of trust takes intentionality.

4. Push for direct, honest dialogue when someone expresses a problem with another team member.

Tim Challies says that one of the most common phrases pastors should utter is, “Have you spoken to him/her about this?” It can make you feel important to have someone confide in you, but often there is more harm than good in it if they haven’t confronted the other person first.

Trust and confrontation aren’t opposites. They both exist is a healthy culture. But confrontation has got to be done right—directly, humbly, with an open Bible and open ears. I’m convinced that if we just practiced that, we would diffuse a lot of the conflict that plagues our interpersonal relationships.

5. Know when it’s best just to let something go.

Proverbs 19:11 says, “It is [a person’s] glory to overlook an offense.” There is a time to confront and a time to just let it go. Wisdom knows the balance between the two. For some, the fear of man may prevent us from confronting others when we ought. For others, arrogance may push us to confront issues that would best be addressed by not being addressed. Not every battle is worth waging, and a culture of trust is a big enough win that it’s worth “losing” some small battles along the way.

Ironically, the best way to lead people and encourage them to be trustworthy is to treat them with trust, even when they don’t deserve it. People want to live up the high expectations you give them. Nothing motivates or inspires them like having trust extended to them.

Isn’t that just the gospel way? God doesn’t make us righteous by demanding righteousness, but by extending grace. In the same way, we don’t cultivate trust by demanding it, but by extending it.

This article originally appeared here.

Avoid These 8 Momentum Killers

Scott Cochrane

April 25, 2017

Leadership is all about generating momentum.

Take a static organization or situation and drop an effective leader into the mix and what do you get?

Momentum.

Where you have momentum, and where you have no momentum, it always points toward leadership.

In other words, where you have an effective leader, one of the almost inevitable results is a growing sense of momentum.

That is, unless that leader begins to practice any of these all-too common momentum killers:

1. Over-planning

Planning is necessary. Over-planning will suck the momentum out of your team.

2. Dragging out decision making

When team needs a decision, it’s deadly when no decision can be found. A delayed decision deflates morale.

3. Not communicating results

It’s tragic when the organization actually hits a milestone, and nobody finds out about it. Sharing good news is low-hanging fruit for momentum building.

4. Celebrating trivial matters

If you measure things that don’t matter, pretty soon you’ll be celebrating things that don’t matter. Don’t be side-tracked by irrelevant wins.

5. Not having short-term wins

Grand-slams are exciting, but rare. If you’re waiting for the big home-run ball, you could be waiting for a long time. Recognize short-term wins, and celebrate them when they are achieved.

6. Constantly changing targets

If you’ve ever been on a team that couldn’t seem to stick with a goal, you know how frustrating this is. And you know what a momentum killer it is when the target keeps changing.

7. Reliving past glories

Momentum is built by looking forward. There is a time and place to honor the past, but if you keep retelling the stories of a bygone era, your momentum will be stuck in its tracks.

8. Re-organizing

One of the first signs of a stalled organization can be obsessive reorganization. If growth is causing you to shake things up, go for it. But don’t allow yourself to be caught in constant re-orgs.

John Maxwell describes momentum as “a leader’s best friend.” Because, as Maxwell points out, when you have momentum everything gets exaggerated, in a positive way.

So make sure your leadership efforts are indeed creating forward momentum.

And your first step could be to be sure you are avoiding these momentum killers.

This article originally appeared here.

Is the Church Unintentionally Undermining the Biblical Teaching on Singleness?

Megan Briggs

April 25, 2017

It has been said for many years that the “ground at the cross is level”, which rightly points out that no human being is outside God’s ability to redeem for His glory. Unfortunately, there can be an implicit message that churches may send that the ground isn’t “quite as level” for those within our flocks who are single. It can be easy to forget that crowds during worship services make singles vulnerable to feeling isolated and somehow deficient as a human being.

Sam Allberry, author of the book “Connected: Living in Light of the Trinity”, discusses how churches may be undermining the biblical teaching of singleness in a recent video published by the Gospel Coalition. Allberry believes that churches undermine singleness by coming off with the belief that marriage is the ultimate goal of the Christian life and that if you are single, especially after age thirty or forty, that you are a loose end that needs to be tied up. This is very evident within the church in America, where very few pastors are single.

What is forgotten in this discussion is that the beauty of the gospel can be seen in BOTH marriage and singleness. Marriage and singleness are God-ordained means that point to the gospel of Jesus. In marriage, we reflect the shape of the gospel in that promises are made to each and therefore reflecting the commitment of Christ is His church. In singleness we reflect the sufficiency of the gospel because our lives are testament to fact that the one marriage we cannot do without is the relationship we have with Christ. This is why singleness is a wonderful way of testifying to the supremacy of Jesus and that our relational and sexual longings only serve to point to our deepest longing: To be in a fully realized union with Christ Himself.

This does not demean marriage, but in efforts to protect the dignity and sanctity of marriage, the church sometimes is guilty of making an idol of marriage. Therefore it is important that we remember that marriage has been created to point beyond itself toward Christ’s marriage with His broken but beautiful bride. While singleness and marriage are both temporary, Christ’s commitment to His children is permanent.

Massive National Day of Prayer Gathering in South Africa Draws Over 700,000 People

Megan Briggs

April 25, 2017

Police estimate that 700,000 people showed up to the National Day of Prayer event organized by Angus Buchan in South Africa. On April 22, 2017, thousands of people flooded to a farm in Bloemfontein, located in the nation’s Free State, to pray for South Africa.

According to Buchan, the call to prayer came as the result of being “tired of people taking the law into their own hands. We are going to call upon The Lord to bring justice, peace and hope to our beloved South Africa.”

Buchan is a farmer-turned-minister who wrote a book about his life and journey to faith, titled Faith Like Potatoes. His Shalom Ministries is concerned with fulfilling the Great Commission, caring for orphans and widows, and equipping the saints for the work of ministry, according to the website.

Organizers for the massive event pulled it together in just six short weeks and estimate that 1 million people were in attendance. Aerial shots of the crowd are certainly impressive. The theme of the event was “It’s Time,” and advertisements for the gathering featured the latter half of James 5:16: “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

Bloemfontein is located in the central part of South Africa, but the event drew people from all over the country. According to an article on enca.com, the theme of Buchan’s message was not necessarily a feel-good message. The charismatic preacher challenged attendees to think about bettering their own nation, communities and families before they seek to “save the whole world.”

“Sir, I have a very stern word for you word from God: Put your own house in order before you try and help somebody else. Sir, if you’ve got nothing good to say about South Africa, then with due respect shut up! Let’s see this country change in a day,” Buchan said. Although the emphasis was on prayer and interceding for the nation, enca.com says the current shaky political climate and the nation’s growing problem with crime were also discussed.

Several photos have emerged on social media that show the scope of the crowd.

“This is a Christian country!” Buchan bellowed from the stage. “Jesus is Lord!”

10 Common Sentiments Pastors Wish They Could Express

Thom Rainer

April 24, 2017

I love pastors.

I respect pastors.

No, they aren’t perfect. Indeed, they often have many struggles and challenges. As I reviewed the thousands of comments I have heard from pastors, I began to see a pattern of silent expressions. Stated simply, there are many things pastors would like to say, but they don’t feel like they have the freedom to do so.

I compiled 10 of the more common unspoken comments pastors wish they could express. They are in no particular order, and I have chosen not to offer further commentary to them.

“I am struggling with depression.”
“Don’t criticize me right before or after I preach.”
“I worry about my family in the church fishbowl.”
“I wish the ‘healthy’ church members in our church would stand up to the bullies and critics.”
“Pray for me; I need it.”
“I don’t know if we can pay our personal bills.”
“I am so tired of attending mundane meetings.”
“Don’t ask me to do something right before I preach.”
“I can’t keep up with all the changes in culture and churches.”
“It hurts me deeply when we lose a church member.”

I know there are many more sentences of similar sentiments. What do you think of these 10? What would you add?

This article originally appeared here.

4 Tips for Sharing a Personal Story With Students

Dan Scott

April 24, 2017

Bible storytellers share stories written thousands of years ago for others to experience today. But because of their unique phase of life, kids have difficulty seeing how that ancient story impacts their modern life. To make it easier for them, storytellers can use moments from their own life as concrete examples of how the Bible story applies to the everyday world. Your personal story deserves as much care and development as the stories you share from the Bible.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when sharing your personal story:

CHOOSING YOUR STORY

Sometimes we want to tell a story because it’s funny. We somehow think that by telling this edgy part of our life that the kids will think that we’re cool. The story doesn’t quite fit, but we’re willing to look past it because of the cool factor.

It’s easy to fall into this trap: wanting the kids to like us more than we hope the story will connect them to something deeper about God.

Before we start to develop the story, we need to choose the right story. And that starts with checking our motivation and asking ourselves why we want to tell the story in the first place.

If the primary motivation behind wanting to tell that story is more about you than the kids, chances are you need to choose a different story. Make sure the story you choose is the BEST moment from your life to help kids connect with the main point of the message.

WRITING YOUR STORY:

Just as much as storytellers need to memorize and rehearse the Bible story, they should treat their personal story with the same care. Only with a personal story, they aren’t given a script to memorize; storytellers will need to write these out for themselves.

When it comes to writing down these moments for our life, we tend to think we can just wing it because, after all, these moments actually happened to us. Unfortunately, for most people, their brains don’t work that way. Memories fade over time and details might not come into view until you’re telling the story and the brain starts piecing memories back together. Write the story down a couple weeks before you need it, allowing the brain time to work and recreate the story in your mind.

Take the time to write down exactly how you want to tell this story. This doesn’t mean that you have to memorize it word for word, but writing it down will help you organize your thoughts and remember the details of the story you might otherwise forget.

TIP: The brain awakens when you engage both sides of it. Use pen and paper to handwrite the story to increase your chances of recalling those details and memorizing the story.

EDITING YOUR STORY:

After choosing the right story and writing it down, it’s time for some editing. Read through the story a few times. Then have someone read it back to you. Or record yourself reading it and listen to the playback. Consider how your audience might hear this story.

Consider the topics, the details you include, the words you choose and the length of the story. This may be the PERFECT story to share to connect with your audience, but is how you’ve crafted this story appropriate for your audience?

Not all topics and words are suitable for every audience. Kids have a limited attention span and vocabulary. Edit out the words and details that would be lost on this age group. If you find that you can’t edit out those details and still get to the heart of the story, you’ll most likely need to find another story that will work with that age group.

Keep in mind that your personal story is part of a larger story you’re telling during large group. Consider how long it will take to tell this story and connect it back to the Bible story. Edit the words down to the bare minimum you need to tell the story.

REHEARSING YOUR STORY

Just because the story happened to you doesn’t mean that you tell the story well. Just like any other story you plan to tell on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night, take time to run through how you’re going to tell this story. Pay attention to the pacing and build of the plot line. Tell the story with momentum that carries the audience all the way through to the punch line or heartfelt moment you’re trying to create.

Have someone you trust listen to you share this story and ask them to give you feedback. Take that person’s notes into consideration as you continue preparing.

Remember you’re taking your audience on a journey. Help them experience your story not just for entertainment or a good laugh. Use your story to help kids connect their story to the bigger truth God is speaking in their life. Help kids see how God still interacts with people today.

Your Turn: Comment below with ideas for how you write and rehearse your personal stories.

For more on the importance of personal narratives in storytelling, check out:

A Storyteller’s Manifesto: my ebook on the power of story and the need to understand the three narratives at play when we tell a Bible story.

This article originally appeared here.

Hope for Families Touched by Suicide

Scott Attebery

April 24, 2017

Yesterday I listened to callers on a local radio talk show discuss whether or not suicide was an unpardonable sin (whether or not a person can commit suicide and still go to heaven). It’s always interesting to me how a subject like this can spark heated discussion among people who ordinarily wouldn’t discuss spiritual things. It’s also interesting to discover how diverse the range of opinions is on the subject.

The discussion left me feeling sad for families who have been touched by suicide. I can only imagine (as displayed by the call-in discussion) how many unresolved questions must linger in their minds.

Here are a few thoughts that will hopefully bring encouragement and add clarity to the conversation:

1) The test of eternal life is not whether or not a person takes their life, but whether or not they have received Christ’s life. No person will enter Heaven because of a good life or great deeds. Rather, eternal life comes by grace through faith in Jesus (Eph. 2:8-9).

2) The issue of suicide is serious because it deals with the sanctity of life (Genesis 1:26). Life is a precious gift of God created for a worship-purpose.

3) At the same time, ALL SIN is a serious offense to a holy God—no sin can be taken lightly (Psalm 51:4).

4) Yet, there is NO SIN that is more powerful than Christ’s atonement (I Cor. 15:57).

Having said all of that, I think the issue comes down to two more items. First, the issue of confession: If a person has taken their life, and cannot confess their sin, how can they be forgiven?

Interestingly, you only hear this question when it comes to suicide. You never hear someone say, “John told a lie right before he died, so I’m worried he’s not going to heaven.” The fact of the matter is that if a person is IN CHRIST, his salvation is not dependent upon continuing to confess each sin after his conversion. That would make salvation dependent upon something other than Christ alone. Confession is, however, important for the person’s fellowship with God—but it doesn’t change the person’s standing before God—which leads to the second issue: Righteousness.

When a person comes to Christ, not only are their sins forgiven, but also they simultaneously receive the righteousness of Christ (Romans 5:18).

When we think of salvation as merely the forgiveness of sin, it can give us the false impression that a “clean slate” is what gets us into Heaven—as if Christ did us a great favor and now its up to us to “keep it up.” But that totally defeats the biblical concept of grace.

But when we couple the idea of forgiveness with the truth of righteousness, it is difficult to fall into that false assumption. Jesus said, “For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:20). That truth ought to shock us—after all, the Pharisees and scribes kept the letter of the law! But even their grandest efforts didn’t please God.

The good news is that in salvation, Christ not only forgives our sin, but He gives us His righteousness! It is Christ’s righteousness that makes us pleasing to God—without which we cannot enter heaven.

Christ’s righteousness is a gift that we didn’t earn. And if we never did anything to deserve it in the first place, we certainly can’t do anything to lose it. Instead, it is a covering over our sin that allows God to see us the way He sees His Son—even when we commit sin—including suicide.

This article originally appeared here.

Why Pastors Should Be Morning People

Brandon Kelley

April 24, 2017

A couple of years ago, I decided to make the switch from night owl to morning person, and that switch has made all the difference. I have come to realize that being a pastor who is a morning person opens the door to some powerful benefits.

If you struggle with productivity, if you struggle with making your quiet time with the Lord happen every day, if you struggle with staying up too late, if you struggle with getting your sermon finished when you want to, it could be that becoming a morning person is the solution to your struggles.

5 Powerful Benefits of Being a Pastor Who Is a Morning Person

1. A pastor who is a morning person starts their day off with uninterrupted time to focus on what matters most. 5 a.m. is the perfect time to get your day started because it allows you to make quality time to be with the Lord. Instead of fitting your quiet time in during lunch or at night, make the switch. Set your alarm for a scary time: 5 a.m.

2. A pastor who is a morning person begins the day with productive momentum. Waking up at 5 a.m. allows you to get a jumpstart on your sermon preparation, a big project or a personal passion project. And that jumpstart continues throughout the day. If I turn my alarm off and sleep through it, I miss out on a wave of momentum for the day.

3. A pastor who is a morning person can more easily prioritize physical exercise. Recently, I have begun adding a 20-minute run to my morning. I have to be honest, I don’t enjoy running, but I do enjoy knowing that I am prioritizing my physical health which otherwise wouldn’t happen in the day. We all know that we need to make physical exercise a priority. Waking up at 5 a.m. eliminates the excuses that I always came up with. It can for you too.

4. A pastor who is a morning person can communicate the good news of Jesus with people from all over the world. We live in the information age. Upon a click of a button, you can write a gospel-focused article and have it read by people from all over the world. You can finally write the book that you keep saying you should write. You can work, little by little, on some kind of passion project that addresses the cultural crises of our time. I utilize the mornings for writing books and blog posts. Because of this, articles on RookiePreacher.com and BrandonKelley.org have been read by people from more than 170 countries (that’s 87 percent of the countries in the world). In addition to doing this digitally, you could set up your week in a way that you make it a regular practice of having an early breakfast with people you’re pouring into at your church or in the community.

5. A pastor who is a morning person starts the day off with a win. As you know, ministry isn’t really ever easy to measure. Am I making a difference? Does what I do really matter? Is anyone growing? Are we reaching people as much as we could? The questions ring loud in our minds. Some weeks, the only win is getting that sermon done or that project finished. For the pastor who becomes a morning person, a little win is built in to their day. What is it? Waking up on time, creating some productive momentum, exercising and sharing the good news. All before your first meeting or your first step into the office.

How to Become a Morning Person

If you’re like me before I made this switch to becoming a morning person, you’re a little skeptical. I don’t think I can really become a morning person. I believe you can. From one former night owl to you, the present one, the switch can be made.

Michael Hyatt wrote an article titled “How to Become a Morning Person.” I highly recommend you give it a read.

This article originally appeared here.

What Makes Steven Furtick’s Elevation Church So Popular and Yet So Controversial?

Joshua Pease

April 24, 2017

In the 1920s, a psychologist hand-drew a series of blob-like shapes used to determine a patient’s personality characteristics. Named after its founder Hermann Rorschach, the Rorschach test became a cultural shorthand for anything—a person, a piece of art, a political movement—that was seen a variety of different ways by different people. The test’s premise is how you see the object says as much about you as it does the object.

Steven Furtick Theology

In the evangelical world, Steven Furtick and his Elevation Church is the ultimate Rorschach test. How you see him reveals your beliefs about church growth, theology, pastoral accountability and seeker sensitivity. For some, Furtick and his 17,000+ congregation is the paragon of church growth. For others, he’s a leadership crisis waiting to happen. Some consider him one of the most powerful pastoral voices in the country. Others say he’s a heretic.

Certainly, Furtick isn’t the first visible church leader to draw this varied a reaction, but right now he’s arguably the most famous. So the question is, who is right? And what does the controversy surrounding Furtick say not just about him, but about us?

“REACHING THOSE FAR FROM GOD”

Online magazine Pitchfork is arguably the most respected music review publication in the world. Reaching 1.5 million readers a month, the magazine is known for targeting independent artists and scenes. Which is why Pitchfork’s recent profile about Elevation Church’s worship music is so remarkable. Elevation Church has caught the attention of the secular music world.

The article, written by a self-professed non-religious journalist, is shockingly positive. Free of the snarky condescension found in many secular articles written about evangelicalism, the article shines a largely complementary light on the pastors of Elevation. The pastors discuss their engagement with all music, not just Christian music, the importance of musical excellence, and their desire to draw people through their music to a deeper relationship with God.

The writer is surprised by Elevation’s racial diversity “despite the frankly very white rock music that forms the backbone of the church’s sound.” And while one would assume the music’s styling isn’t his preference, the writer communicates a respect and understanding of what he perceives Elevation is trying to accomplish: “It’s this idea of reaching those ‘far from God’ that helps explain the strange paradox at the heart of Elevation—using one of the most notoriously profane styles of music to soundtrack weekly services and act as a beacon for faith in God.”

5 Surprising Reasons Why Teens Should Be a Big Part of Your Church’s Outreach Strategy

Greg Stier

April 23, 2017

Charles Spurgeon once said that if you want to set a house on fire you should start the fire in the basement…because fire burns upward. He was referring to the strategic nature of reaching the poor and broken of a city with the Good News of the Gospel. Spurgeon contended that as the poor of a city were reached that the fire of the Gospel would burn “upward” to the rest of the city.

This is one of the reasons why Spurgeon, while still in his early 20s, was pastoring the largest church in England in one of the worst parts of London. He reached the poor people of South London and the fire burned upward to the rest of the city.

While this principle stands true when it comes to preaching to the poor of a city, it also is true when it comes to reaching teenagers of a community. Start a fire in the youth room and the rest of the church will be set ablaze for Jesus. Reach the teenagers of a city for Christ and the adults will soon be reached as well. That’s one of the surprising reasons why focusing on reaching teenagers for Jesus is super strategic.

And this principle is proven true by my story.

I’ll never forget Ralph “Yankee” Arnold. He is the pastor who reached my entire inner-city family for Jesus. My family was full of rage and violence. My uncles made the Sons of Anarchy look like the Brady Bunch. My mom was like the woman at the well with a baseball bat. I never met my biological father who skipped town when he found out my mom was pregnant.

We were a broken, angry, ready-to-fight type family in a high crime rate area of our city. You could say we lived in the “basement” of Denver. But then a preacher nicknamed “Yankee” who spoke with a southern accent (long story) came into our lives and set all of us on fire for Christ.

On a dare he led my Uncle Jack to Jesus. Jack had been in and out of jail and was always up for a fight. Although he was a bar-room brawler and arm-wrestled for cash, Jesus wrestled his pride to the ground and everything changed.

One by one my body-building uncles fell to the overwhelming power of the Gospel. And soon after, we joined Yankee’s church.

Although Yankee challenged and equipped the entire church to share the Gospel, he looked at reaching teenagers as especially strategic. And, at one point, we had 800 teenagers in our youth ministry! As a result, our entire city was impacted by the Gospel, because these teens saturated it with Gospel conversations.

Yankee reached the poor and the young. He set the fire in the basement and it burned outward to the rest of the city.

That Gospel advancing DNA (especially when it comes to reaching teenagers) has been passed on to me.

As the leader of a ministry called Dare 2 Share, our vision is, “Every teen everywhere hearing the Gospel from a friend.” And our mission is, “Energizing the church to mobilize youth to gospelize their world.”

The church is at the epicenter of making this mission work. So, whether you’re a youth leader, lead pastor, church elder or a member of the congregation, I want to give you five big reasons why reaching teenagers for Christ is super strategic.

1. Teenagers come to Christ faster than adults.

We’ve all heard statistics that remind us that the majority of people who come to Christ do so by the age of 18. So, if this is true, why aren’t we putting more strategy, budget and focus on reaching this demographic? Sometimes I wonder if it’s because (this is hard to type…) teenagers and children don’t tithe as much as adults. But if our real kingdom currency is disciples made and multiplied, shouldn’t our focus be on reaching the demographic that is most open to the message of the Gospel?

2. Teenagers can spread the Gospel farther than adults.

The average teenager has well over 400 online and face-to-face friends. In a Snap-Chat, Instagram or Facebook post, a teenager can trigger Gospel conversations with scores of other teenagers in an instant. And, if they are trained to navigate these conversations in a loving, intelligent way, then they can powerfully accelerate the spread of the Gospel with their peers.

Over the last 25 years I have had the honor of training a million plus teenagers to share the Gospel through Dare 2 Share. At our events we have teenagers begin Gospel conversations with their friends through a call, text or social media post. This has led to countless new believers being added to the kingdom…all because we leverage the influence that teenagers have with their own peers for the sake of the Gospel!

3. Fully mobilized teenagers become fully mobilized adults.

There’s a great line in the classic movie The Untouchable where the character played by Kevin Costner is frustrated that he can’t find one good cop in the entire city (this movie is based in the mafia-saturated, Capone-dominated landscape of Chicago in the 1920s). The character played by Sean Connery says, “If you can’t find a good apple in the barrel, go to the tree.” So he and Costner go to the rookie training center for cops and get a young, idealistic rookie (who had yet to be corrupted by the system) to join them in their quest of taking down Capone.

Church leaders need to “go to the tree” when it comes to mobilizing the church for evangelism. Teenagers have yet to be inoculated to the mission of the Gospel. They are young enough and idealistic enough to think that God can actually use them to reach their classmates and teammates for Christ. The system of “corruption” in the typical church is not boot-legging but butt-sitting (more and more meetings and less and less mission!). Unlike 1920s type mafia members, a sin of the typical church-going adult is a sin of omission when it comes to The Great Commission.

So here’s where the upside of working with teenagers comes into full play. Once teenagers become fully inspired and equipped to share the Gospel, it’s going to be way more likely that they are carrying that on into adulthood. To use a baseball analogy, think of teenagers as a farm club for your church. If you want soul-saving, disciple-making, homerun-hitting adults then focus on building your farm club by focusing on mobilizing teenagers for The Cause of Christ!

4. Your adults will be inspired by the courage of your teenagers.

I love 1 Samuel 17 when a teen-aged shepherd named David defeats a 9′ 6″ giant named Goliath with a sling, a stone and an unshakable faith in God. What was the reaction of the Jewish soldiers? “When the Philistines saw that their hero was dead, they turned and ran. Then the men of Israel and Judah surged forward with a shout and pursued the Philistines to the entrance of Gath and to the gates of Ekron” (1 Samuel 17:51,52).

Inspired by David’s courage, the adult Israeli soldiers chased the Philistines down. In the same way when enough teenagers in our churches are defeating the giant of fear and boldly sharing the Good News, the adults will eventually catapult out of their pews and follow suit.

I saw this at Yankee’s church when I was a teenager. I saw this at the church I pastored for a decade in Denver. I am seeing this phenomenon happening all across the nation through Dare 2 Share trained churches right now!

5. Every spiritual awakening in American history has had teenagers on the leading edge.

Jonathan Edwards wrote these words about the 1st Great Awakening, “The revival has been chiefly amongst the youth.” Many of John Wesley’s circuit riders were teenagers. Many of the new believers were young people who had caught the fire of Edwards, Wesley and Whitefield.

It was true of D.L. Moody’s ministry as well. Moody Bible Institute stands as a modern testament to that fact. It was also true of the YMCA, which, at one point, was the largest missionary sending organization in the United States. The great movements of Youth for Christ, Cru, Young Life and countless others also stand to testify of the power and potential of unleashing young people with and for the Gospel.

But they also stand to testify of the failure of the church to do the same.

These ministries (including Dare 2 Share) would not have to exist if the church was doing its job. And a big part of its job should be to mobilize the most spiritually open demographic (those under the age of 18) to lead the way when it comes to making and multiplying disciples.

So rise up church and be the church! Go to the tree and mobilize your youth to gospelize their world!

Let’s start the fire in the youth room and let the fire burn upward to the adults!

This article originally appeared here.

7 Signs What’s Driving You Is Beginning to Destroy You

Carey Nieuwhof

April 23, 2017

There are a thousand fine lines in leadership.

Perhaps the most subtle and dangerous line is the fine line between what drives you and what destroys you.

Being driven is not an inherently bad thing. In fact, leveraged well, it’s a huge leadership asset.

You get things done, mobilize people around great causes and make things happen.

Driven leaders are often the ones who create something out of nothing, who make things better and who move the mission forward.

So what drives driven leaders?

Well, hang out with driven leaders long enough and you’ll discover this common thread: discontent with the status quo.

Discontent is actually a good thing. It makes you a change agent in a world where most people avoid change.

But the discontent that drives leaders is a double-edged sword.

No one I know of has talked about the good side of discontent better than Bill Hybels did in his Holy Discontent talk (which is also a book). That talk is one of the most memorable leadership talks I’ve ever heard.

Holy discontent is from God.

It drives you to:

Push on relentlessly toward progress.

Work tirelessly for a better day.

Trust beyond yourself.

Resist injustice.

Demand better.

Lead people to a preferred vision of a better future.

Not quit.

And if you’re like me, you’ve always got some level of discontent burning under the surface.

It’s hard to sit still. Even when you’re off, your brain is still on.

But discontent has a shadow side.

It can move from a good force that’s driving you to place where it starts to destroy you, and, if you’re not careful, the others around you.

There’s one thing every driven leader has to watch, and it’s this: Don’t let the discontent that drives you become the discontent that destroys you.

So what are the signs that what’s driving you is beginning to destroy you? Well, here are seven. Discontent become destructive when it:

1. Stops You From Celebrating

Any driven leader knows how hard it is to celebrate. When you cross the line and your drive begins to destroy you, it feels like this: You think it was amazing, but you can’t stop wondering what would have made it more amazing.

You can’t mark the progress you’ve made because you only see the progress you haven’t made.

And that kills your team.

To make it worse, you even stop celebrating God’s faithfulness and instead substitute the celebration of your progress.

Don’t miss the progress you’ve made because you can only see the progress you haven’t made.

2. Kills Your Gratitude

You begin to only think about what could be better. Gratitude decreases as discontent increases.

Not only will ingratitude make you miserable; it’s ultimately demotivating to the people around you.

If you want to defeat your team, be ungrateful.

3. Invades Too Many Aspects of Your Life

I can try to improve everything and everyone, including my wife and other people I meet.

This is not good for anyone. (Enough said.)

If discontent takes over your life, you won’t have much of a life.

4. Makes You the Negative Voice at the Table

I have to catch myself during evaluation sessions (we do weekly evaluations on our services) because I will find the 1.2 things that went wrong and miss the 98.8 things that went right.

You shouldn’t miss the 1.2 things. But you shouldn’t dwell on them either.

When you only see what’s wrong and rarely see what’s right, you deflate the people around you.

5. Gets You Off a Project You Should Still Be On

When discontent becomes too pervasive, it can stop you from finishing projects you started because you become discontent with…well, even the solution you should still be working on.

Serial discontent will make you start things you never finish. And that’s a problem for everyone.

6. Makes You Arrogant

If I let discontent get too much real estate in my life, it shows up as arrogance.

Nothing’s ever good enough.

I’m always right.

We need to do more…now.

Arrogance is only attractive to the arrogant.

7. Disables Hope

We leaders are dealers in hope. Hope is such a rare commodity.

When discontent becomes toxic, your future becomes about what’s wrong, not about what’s right.

Unhealthy discontent disables hope, and hope is the greatest motivator your team has.

What Do You See?

When any of these things start to happen, I consider it a warning sign that my discontent is moving from a place where it drives me to a place where it might harm me or others.

What other warning signs do you see that the discontent that drives you is starting to destroy you?

How have you seen discontent hurt you or people you care about?

This article originally appeared here.

Kidmin Pastors Try Too Hard

Tamera Kraft

April 23, 2017

We’ve all been there. We want to provide a great children’s program where students learn to love God and operate in the Holy Spirit. We want to make sure every class is manned with competent teachers. We work hard to plan effective outreaches to reach the community. And we do this all while trying to keep up with all the work involved with keeping up with running one of the largest ministries in the church. But are you trying too hard to juggle all the balls in a way God never expected?

None of these things are wrong. Scripture instructs us to not be weary in well doing. If you do all these things to build the Kingdom of God in the lives of children, you are doing a good work and will be rewarded for it. So what do I mean by trying too hard?

The problem comes when we don’t abide in Christ. If we abide in Christ with all we do, we will be effective and reap a harvest, but if we try to do all these things without abiding in Christ, all we’ll get is tired.

John 15:4—Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

The problem comes when we don’t understand how to abide in Christ. Abiding in Christ isn’t a checklist we do to get God to move in our lives. Abiding in Christ is yielding to His will and allowing Him to move through us. But how do we do this?

Recognize that without Christ, you can do nothing. It doesn’t matter how great you are as a children’s pastor, how long you’ve been at it or how skilled you are. Without Christ, you can do nothing of value. Your effectiveness comes from Him.

John 15:5—I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Do what God wants, not what sounds good. Many times, children’s pastors go to conferences, talk to their peers and read books on children’s ministry to get good ideas on what they should do. None of these things are wrong. But if the latest fad or book is what is driving your ministry, you will be spinning your wheels. Your main job is to find out what God wants you to do in your ministry and do it. We show our love for God through our obedience. Sometimes God will use a book or conference to speak, but make sure it is God speaking.

John 15:10—If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

Love your students. If you are abiding in Christ, your students will know the love of God through you. If you have problems with certain children, ask God to give you His love for them.

1 Corinthians 15:12—This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

Remember that it is God’s ministry, not yours. You did not choose to be a children’s pastor because there was a need in the church or as a stepping stone to “real” ministry. If you are a children’s pastor, it is because God chose you to work through to pastor His children.

John 15:15—You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.

Be filled with joy. If you are abiding in Christ and doing the ministry He chose you for, then you joy will be complete and you will eventually bear fruit. If you are lacking in joy or in fruit bearing, ask God to show you where you need to abide in Him.

John 15:11—These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

This article originally appeared here.

The Power of Food and Community Formation

Andrew Camp

April 23, 2017

Food and small groups. To many of us they are probably inseparable. You can’t have a small group without food (it is after all the S of Saddleback’s HOST model). And where there is food, there is probably a small group.

But why? Have you ever stopped to consider the power of food in both bringing people together and tearing people apart?

This has been a question I have been wrestling with for a number of years. As a former professional chef, my love for food is rooted in trying to understand and teach others about the spirituality of the table. I am nowhere close to having all the answers, but the more I search both Scripture and other book, the more I realize just how integrated our eating and food habits are tied to our spiritual habits.

Sin entered the world through the eating of fruit. And since that time God has used food as a means to redeem his people (the Passover, the Lord’s Supper and finally the Wedding Banquet of the Lamb). And all of this eating takes place in community; all three celebrations belie individualism. What’s more—it’s not just about my nuclear community; it’s about the world-wide community. We are joined to the church universal, past, present and future, as we celebrate and remember.

Back to my question: But why? Why food?

In sharing food with others, we learn that we are sharing our lives with them. This idea is embedded even in our language. Take the word companion. Companion comes from the Latin com, meaning “with,” and panis, meaning “bread;” therefore, companion literally means one who shares bread. If you think about it, there is nothing quite like sharing and enjoying a slice of warm, fresh-baked bread smeared with butter and good jam. Or if you have ever walked into a home wafting with the smell of bread, your heart is simultaneously excited and relaxed. You somehow intuitively know you are in a good place.

And God knew all of this when he sought to redeem us with the table being the focal point. He knew that as we gathered around the table, we would share our lives with each other and more importantly with him. We would learn and share the stories that matter most. As we share our stories, we are deeply affected by the presence of others who can help discern truth from lies that we have believed.

In his book, From Tablet to Table, Leonard Sweet writes, “But there is one thing that would dramatically change the world we live in and help return us to our rootedness in Christ: Bring back the table! If we were to make the table the most sacred object of furniture in every home, in every church, in every community, our faith would quickly regain its power, and our world would quickly become a better place. The table is the place where identity is born—the place where the story of our lives is retold, re-minded and relived.”

In the coming months, I plan on continuing to blog about the power of food in community formation. And I would love your insight…

How have you seen food powerfully shape community, for good or for bad?

This article originally appeared here.

Every Hill You Face Is Not Worth Dying On

Ronnie Floyd

April 23, 2017

The greatest leadership lesson I have ever learned is: Every hill you face is not worth dying on. If I had practiced this in my previous churches and perhaps during the first few years here, I believe my influence would be greater and the ministry would be more effective.

I have seen ministers let their stubbornness and pride wreck their leadership in the home and in the church. When you have the clarity and wisdom to not die on every hill, your leadership can be long and effective.

Whether you are a rookie pastor or an experienced minister: Every hill you face in leadership is not worth dying on. When the pastor practices this, the church will flourish. The fellowship will be sweeter, the growth will be greater and the preservation of this growth will be more successful.

How I Learned This

How did I learn this important truth? It did not happen at a particular point, but through a process. Some things in leadership you can only learn through the growth of the entity you are assigned to lead. The growth of the organization in structures, personnel, dollars and expectations requires the leader to operate by the conviction that every hill he faces is not worth dying on.

There are times that I could have carried more people with me along the church’s vision path if I had been more patient and personal along the way. In the name of “urgency” or “reaching,” we can sometimes push “hurry” too much and too often. This is not an asset, but a liability.

The Christian life is not about being right—it is about being Christ-like

Most Christians are more interested in being right than they are in being Christ-like. Pastor and church leaders, the Christian life is not about being right—it is about being Christ-like. If Satan cannot get you to do the wrong thing, he will get you to do the right thing in the wrong way. When you think you are always right, you will die on needless hills. When you constantly have to prove you are right and don’t take the time to work toward making the best decision in the right time and in the right way, you lose influence and leadership.

3 Hills Worth Dying On

There are three hills that are worth dying on no matter what anyone else thinks.

1. Truth—You must be willing to die on the hill of God’s truth found in Scripture.

You must stand in your pulpit, in your meetings and everywhere else you go with the confidence that the Bible is God’s truth for today and always. In my ministry, I have seen more people willing to die for their tradition than die for the Truth of God’s Word.

2. Morality—Jesus was very clear that we are to be the salt and light of the world.

We must be the moral conscience of our region, nation and world. Biblically, we have no alternative. We have to impact our culture. When we do, there are times that our faith will collide with the culture.

3. The Great Commission—The Great Commission should consume every Christian and church.

For a church to advance toward the future in terms of health and growth, the church needs to be emblazoned by the Great Commission. There is no one in the church who ought to be more fired up and passionate about sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with every person in the world and making disciples of all the nations than the pastor.

When You Go to the Hill

Pastor, a good leader determines not only which hills to die upon, but he also chooses the timing.

Let me give you a strategic grid to go through before you ascend the hill:

Leadership has to be clear
Processes have to be thorough
Timing must be right

A wise leader does everything in God’s timing, by God’s Word and in God’s power.

Now Is the Time to Lead,

Ronnie W. Floyd

This article originally appeared here.

Why God Doesn’t Answer Selfie Prayers

H.B. Charles, Jr.

April 23, 2017

I was looking for a cord for a device I had not used in a while. And I knew exactly where to look. My wife keeps a box where she dumps gadget stuff I and the kids inevitably lose.

I rummaged through box, never finding what I was looking for. But I did find several digital cameras. I pulled each one out of the box, remembering purchasing or using them for special events.

After I repacked the box, I wondered why my family does not use these cameras any longer. It was not because there were no more moments worth capturing. Then it dawned on me. The answer was in my back pocket: my cell phone.

The digital camera is just one of many gadgets smart phones have killed. Most likely, the phone in my pocket took better resolution pictures than any of the cameras in that box. And having my phone with me at all times means I have my camera with me at all times.

Smart phone cameras are a great convenience, which produced an unexpected phenomenon: the selfie. It even became the 2013 Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year. The “selfie” has even produced an industry around it, with software applications, printers and selfie-sticks offered to help make the most of selfies.

Personal cameras were designed to allow us to capture special sites, events and persons in our lives. But the rear-facing camera has become more important than the front-facing one. Who knew that for most people the most special thing they can capture in a picture is themselves?

Beware, lest the “selfie” mindset infiltrate your prayer life.

James wisely instructs, “You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask” (James 4:2).

The ultimate reason why prayers are not answered is because prayers are not offered. Your holy desires will not be fulfilled and the deeds prompted by your faith will not come to pass unless you take them to God in prayer. It happens after prayer!

But there is another factor to answered prayer to consider. You can ask God for it and not receive if your motives are wrong. James adds, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (James 4:3). God does not answer prayers that are motivated by selfish ambition, misplaced priorities or worldly passions.

It is not wrong to bring your personal needs and wants to God in prayer. It is our privilege in Christ to come with confidence to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16). Jesus commands his disciples to ask, seek and knock in believing prayer. But remember that the priority of prayer is God and His glory, not you and your desires. As we make our requests known to the Lord, we are to also pray for the good of others and for the glory of God.

God does not answer selfie prayers!

This article originally appeared here.

No Talent? No Problem—10 Ways You Can Still Lead

Kevin Lloyd

April 21, 2017

I ran cross country as a high school student. Truthfully, I was on the cross country team. My performance would have likely lost to an Olympic speed walker. I was not fast!

Despite my less than impressive times, I was a leader on our team.

At the end of my senior season I was asked to present awards at our sports banquet and to make a formal presentation to our retiring Athletic Director. I had no clue why. Honestly, I assumed I was asked by mistake. The only athletic award I ever won was “Most Mediocre” and I was laughable as a public speaker at the time.

Sheepishly I asked my coach why in the world she wanted me to do this. Her response reshaped how I viewed myself and continues to give me permission to lead how I do today. She said, “Kevin, you are presenting because no one else is as qualified because no one else is you. You lead by being you. Don’t perform. Don’t try hard. Just be you. That’s all it takes.” She taught me that I had all it took to win without having all the talent I thought I needed.

Every day I am asked to lead in some arena where I have very limited talent. The good news is that talent is overrated when it comes to making an impact as a leader. Talent creates unforgettable performers, but leadership demands something deeper. Below are 10 traits requiring no talent from you as a leader, but will net you strong results.

Being on time.

If you cannot be early at least be on time. Tardiness is a sign of disrespect to those counting on you. Chronic lateness is the fruit of lack of discipline or little margin. Both serve leaders poorly. Promptness is an irreducible minimum in leadership.

Work ethic.

When the work gets hard, work hard. While we need personal time in order not to burn out, the best leaders have fight to make that happen. Mark Cuban says, “Work like there is someone working 24 hours a day to take it all away from you.”

Effort.

“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” Stephen King. While I will never be the most talented person in a room, I will always out-effort all of the talent. Those whose efforts push harder will be promoted higher.

Body language.

Make an impact by how you carry yourself. Hold your shoulders back, look people in the eye, don’t sigh when working and stand still instead of shifting weight. These communicate confidence. Two ways to stand out in our culture using your body language is to smile and keep your face out of your phone.

Energy.

“Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation and a pinch of creativity.” Bo Bennett. Leaders cannot delegate energy, it is theirs to supply. It manifests outwardly to get a new project off the ground. It embraces the grind in order to move the machine along.

Attitude.

Chose an attitude of joy over skepticism. When others are nonchalant, have an attitude that simply cares more than the competition. Lead yourself to determine your attitude instead of allowing circumstances to determine it for you.

Passion.

Passion is the fuel for success. Don’t underestimate the power of being fired up for your cause. And don’t mistake passion for volume. Mature passion is always relentless but rarely loud.

Being coachable.

Teachability is the hallmark of next level leaders. Learn to ask questions and listen. Know what you do not know and stay humble enough to allow others to guide you.

Doing extra.

Chic-fil-A is known for “Second Mile Service.” Refuse to do just enough. Over delivering is remembered long after the delivery is over. Remarkable people give you more than you pay for, ask for or expect.

Being prepared.

Sweat in preparation so you don’t bleed in battle. Flying by the seat of your pants is good for those who want to get by on talent. Unseen preparation results in unforgettable performances.

I believe these traits can help you realize your leadership potential. While you put these into practice, I am starting training for speed walking in the next Olympics!

This article originally appeared here.

Can You Spot Your Rising Stars?

Scott Cochrane

April 21, 2017

Leaders are like gold-miners.

They’re constantly prospecting for the next lead or the next opportunity. But nothing they search for is more valuable, or more important, than the next “rising star” on their team.

Rising stars are those members of your team who are exhibiting ever-increasing passion, desire and, most importantly, results.

So, how do you actually spot them? What are the tell-tale signs effective leaders look for when they are prospecting for the emerging leaders on the team?

Here are four proven ways to spot the rising stars who are emerging all around you:

1. Watch for migration

People will tend to “flock” toward a rising leader. Whether they be members of your team, or volunteers in your church, there is always a movement of people toward centers of energy created by an emerging leader.

Watch for it. Because where you have an effective leader in place, over time you will see more and more people drift into that leader’s orbit.

2. Listen for “buzz”

A team led by a rising star will generate more water-cooler talk. People connected with that team will become raving fans and will increasingly pepper their conversations with news about that team.

Listen for it. Where you hear increasing “buzz” you may well have a rising star on the horizon.

3. Sense the tension

When you have a growing leader in place, they will start to consume more resources in order to generate and manage growth. They will need more facility space, more budget and more organization-wide communication.

This resource consumption can cause mild annoyance among teammates. You need to manage these tensions, while recognizing they could be pointing toward a rising-star leader.

4. Trace the pathway

At the church where I served as executive pastor, I once compiled a list of our church’s most effective leaders (elders, deacons, small group leaders, etc.) and traced their stories back. I found that across the board, many of these top leaders had been developed through one particular department in the church.

Not surprisingly, the leader of that ministry was identified as one of our true rising stars.

So keep prospecting for the next opportunity and the next breakthrough. But above all, keep prospecting for your next rising star.

Because when you find them, that’s as good as gold.

How do you spot your rising stars?

This article originally appeared here.

A Word on Words

A Means to Serve Others, Not Promote Ourselves

So What Do We Do?

1. Examine our hearts.

2. Seek accountability.

Final Thoughts

1. Be a lifelong learner.

2. Do what you do well, the most.

3. Do the things you don’t do well, less.

4. Work with people.

1. Fill in the gaps with trust.

2. Be a person who engenders trustworthiness.

3. Promote a culture of trust even when the conflict is not about you.

4. Push for direct, honest dialogue when someone expresses a problem with another team member.

5. Know when it’s best just to let something go.

1. Over-planning

2. Dragging out decision making

3. Not communicating results

4. Celebrating trivial matters

5. Not having short-term wins

6. Constantly changing targets

7. Reliving past glories

8. Re-organizing

Here are a few things to keep in mind when sharing your personal story:

CHOOSING YOUR STORY

WRITING YOUR STORY:

EDITING YOUR STORY:

REHEARSING YOUR STORY

5 Powerful Benefits of Being a Pastor Who Is a Morning Person

How to Become a Morning Person

Steven Furtick Theology

1. Stops You From Celebrating

2. Kills Your Gratitude

3. Invades Too Many Aspects of Your Life

4. Makes You the Negative Voice at the Table

5. Gets You Off a Project You Should Still Be On

6. Makes You Arrogant

7. Disables Hope

What Do You See?

Being on time.

Work ethic.

Effort.

Body language.

Energy.

Attitude.

Passion.

Being coachable.

Doing extra.

Being prepared.

1. Watch for migration

2. Listen for “buzz”

3. Sense the tension

4. Trace the pathway

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