Donnie Wahlberg Faces His Loneliness
Donnie Wahlberg, who prays and does Bible studies with his wife, had had a revelation about his own loneliness the morning of his recording with Janko. Wahlberg had been praying to be filled with God’s love and to glorify God, when he thought of a song lyric about loneliness.
“And it just hit me like a ton of bricks,” Wahlberg said. “Like, I’m lonely, right? And I’ve had to be so perfect my whole life that to say those two words—I could never say those words.”
Despite being married to his wife, who is “perfect,” Wahlberg still feels lonely. “I couldn’t ask for anything more from her,” he said, “and I’m still lonely. And it’s Jesus. It’s him. It’s me letting him in all the way. Like, being renewed in him and fully surrendering. I couldn’t do it. And I thought I was.”
Wahlberg went on to describe the guilt and shame he experiences with admitting that he is lonely. He feels guilty toward his wife at the thought that she is not enough for him, toward the world for struggling even though he is successful, and toward God, who has provided him with so much.
“[God] deserves the glory for all of it,” said Wahlberg. “And I’m still unable to sometimes let my deepest vulnerabilities out even to him.”
Janko then asked if he could talk to Wahlberg “like my brother.” When the actor agreed, Janko encouraged Wahlberg not to shame himself. The podcast host quoted Romans 8:1: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” He quoted other Scriptures and offered Wahlberg many words of encouragement throughout the conversation.
“If Jesus says that you’re perfect and you’re righteous,” said Janko, “how dare you call yourself anything else?”
“I said to someone the other day, it was like I took myself as far as I can,” said Wahlberg. “And I decided I have to turn it over to him. And as soon as I did, he said, ‘Bro, it was me dragging you all this way the whole time. You didn’t do none of it.’”
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Wahlberg said he has done therapy and pursued other strategies to deal with his codependence and people-pleasing. However, he said, “the deeper revelations of that, of what’s in my heart that I don’t share with anyone, he’s forcing me to share it with him now.”
