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A Series of Bold Moves

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At some point—after having worked through everything you need to work through—the only way to break through your next attendance barrier is to commit yourself to what I call “a series of bold moves.”

The good news is the “bold moves” I’m talking about are almost always the same for each attendance barrier. Meaning, if you can’t break the 200 barrier or the 2,000 barrier, chances are your comrades in the trenches trying to break through those same exact attendance barriers will need to commit themselves to making the same bold moves to move the congregations they serve forward.

The bad news is these bold moves can be frightening to attempt, which is why most Senior Pastors never actually try to implement them.

Recently I had Joshua 1:9 emblazoned on the wall of my office in large decals. You know the verse, right?

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

I wanted to be reminded of this verse every single time I walk into my study.

Why?

Lack of know-how is usually not the thing that holds me back. Fear holds me back. Fear of how people will react. Fear of what my ministry would look like if I didn’t self-sabotage it. Fear of being successful. Fear of hard work.

As crazy as it sounds—it’s easier to walk up to a growth barrier and then high-tail it back to Egypt. There’s food in Egypt. And familiarity. And comfort. People complain back in Egypt, but not as much as in the desert. Most importantly, I don’t really need to rely on God back in Egypt. To make it through the desert I must trust that manna will fall from the sky.

Friends, after everything has been tweaked and moved and recalibrated, it comes down to choosing action over fear.

Here are four of the most common “bold moves” that need to be made, and the unique manifestation of them to be found at each size.

Staffing “Bold Moves”

100 Barrier

At the 100 barrier, the bold move to be made with regard to staffing is simply to step out on faith and put the Senior Pastor on the payroll full-time.

200 Barrier

At 200 the bold move is to bring on a second staff member. Lay leader boards almost always think this person should be someone who covers both youth and children. This is a mistake. It needs to be a worship pastor, then children’s (see my article on The 3 Buckets).

400 Barrier

At 400 the bold move is to stop hiring anyone that has a pulse that can simply keep plates spinning, and to hire what I call a single “blue chip” staff member—this is the person who is simply GREAT at what they do. This person is almost always someone you can’t really afford at the time, and could get a job at a church four times your size. Their presence immediately changes your staff culture.

600 Barrier

At 600 you should have four full-time staff members (other than yourself) who cover four keys areas: worship, children, youth and adults. The bold move at this stage will always be to CUT other things to get these four bases covered.

800 Barrier

This attendance barrier is almost always broken by hiring an Executive Pastor. Not before this, and certainly not much after this attendance range. My bold move at this stage was to raise funding for my Executive Pastor through a capital Campaign, otherwise, I never would have been able to afford him.

Brett McCracken: Christianity Is Meant to Be Uncomfortable

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Brett McCracken is a writer and journalist based in Southern California. He is the author of several books including Hipster Christianity: When Church & Cool Collide and Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community.  He has written for The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, CNN.com, The Princeton Theological Review. He speaks and lectures frequently at universities, churches and conferences.  Brett and his wife Kira live in Santa Ana, California and are active in their local church, Southlands, where Brett serves as a pastor/elder.

Key Questions:

Explain your statement, ‘what we want from a church is almost never what we get.”

How can we embrace the discomfort of the gospel and welcome new people to our church?

What relationships do you see between the ways that we lead church and the types of disciples that are being made?

Give us some practical examples of how you are practicing uncomfortable community.

[SUBSCRIBE] For more ChurchLeaders podcasts click here!

Key Quotes:

“We can’t be afraid of being honest about the costliness of Christianity. We don’t want to hide that or downplay that.”

“We don’t want to cater to specific demographics and audiences so that we end up having homogeneous communities.”

“I see the vision for the church as being one of the kind of messiness of a diversity of people endeavoring together in spite of their different backgrounds, in spite of their different preferences to have unity and to pursue holiness and righteousness and worship together.”

“If we are to grow in our communities and small groups we need to go to those difficult places to challenge one another.”

“Sin and brokenness we’ve equated with authenticity but that’s a false equation because our brokenness and sin is actually inauthentic to who we were created to be.”

“I would challenge pastors to own the weirdness and the strangeness of Christianity and to see that as an opportunity and not a liability.”

Mentioned in the Show:

Uncomfortable  

BrettMccracken.com

Brett on ChurchLeaders:

What to Do if You’re Chronically Frustrated at Church

Church Should Feel Uncomfortable

Should You Use Music Stands?

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In the past few years, a number of voices have emerged encouraging church musicians to lose their music stands.

I don’t think anyone is saying it’s a matter “of first importance” to put the music stands away. But people have said if you really want to serve your church, you won’t use them.

Reasons to Strike the Music Stands

Here are some of the most common reasons people give for losing the stands.

  • In many churches, a separation already exists due to a stage. Removing the stands removes the visible barrier.
  • Musicians and vocalists tend to stare at their stands. When you remove them, musicians look up, look out and are more engaged.
  • Singing and playing without stands forces you to memorize music and communicates a higher standard of preparation and excellence. It’s unprofessional and uncaring to use them.
  • If you’re nervous about forgetting lyrics, you can use a confidence monitor, i.e., project the lyrics on the back wall.

A Few Thoughts

While I appreciate and even applaud the impulses that lie behind church musicians going without music, it seems unwise to make it the rule or even the most-preferred practice.

We’re working with volunteersAsking musicians to memorize the music each week assumes they’re full-time, specifically dedicated to that role in the church, or have enough time during the week to commit songs to memory. Those aren’t the kind of people I normally serve with at my church! While I appreciate musicians who know their music well, I’d rather have them free from anxiety when they’re leading.

We’re freer to make Sunday morning changes. Due to the limited amount of time our band rehearses, we come up with arrangements on Sunday mornings when we practice. That allows us to make last-minute changes, adjust arrangements to the musicians that are actually there, and make music rather than simply play it.

We want to sing the right songs. Memorizing all the songs tends to push us toward using shorter, more repetitive songs, or songs we’ve been singing for years. It doesn’t have to have that effect but often does. I shouldn’t determine the songs I lead on Sundays by how easy they are to memorize (think Psalm 119). God tells us the word of Christ is to dwell in us richly as we sing (Col. 3:16), and that implies at times I’ll lead songs that go beyond popular fare.

We want to identify the real causes. Singing with stands doesn’t communicate a lack of care, love or engagement any more than a pastor using notes for his message does. It becomes a negative factor only when he reads mechanically, rarely looking up at the congregation. But I’d rather have him be sure of what he’s going to say than try to commit his message to memory and stumble along the way. And I’ve been ministered to in profound ways by both singers and preachers who have notes in front of them.

We sing in community. Finally, it’s participation, not performance, that should characterize our meetings. We’re singing with the congregation, not to or at them. Rather than being a barrier between us and the congregation, music stands can actually be a unifying element. They communicate we’re not musical professionals, that we can forget lyrics, and that we too can get distracted. Our congregations look at a screen (or a hymnal), but we’d never say they’re insincere or “unprepared” to worship God. Needy, imperfect and dependent, we look to Jesus to perfect all our offerings of worship (1 Pet. 2:5). (HT to Allen Dicharry for this last insight)

Some Questions We Can Ask

If this is an issue at your church, these questions might help you reach some conclusions, whether that’s to go with stands or without them.

Are we allowing the use of music stands to be more of a focus than the God we’re worshiping and the people we’re singing with? 
If so, get your head out of the stands. Go over the music in advance and use it simply as a reference. Develop the skill of looking at the line you’re about to sing, then looking up and singing it with the congregation. Try flattening out and lowering the stand, or moving it to the side, to reduce the physical barrier. Using music stands only separates you from the congregation when they’re a visual obstacle or you’re overly dependent on them.

Are we seeking to serve our congregation well? 
Maximize whatever limited time you have to prepare. During rehearsals, sing and play as though there was a congregation in front of you. Sing to the empty seats. In a few days or in a few minutes, they’ll be filled with God’s people. If you do choose to go without stands and can afford it, consider adding a “confidence monitor,” lyrics projected either on the back wall or a television monitor. Besides helping the vocalists with the lyrics, a monitor also helps the leader know when the projectionist is putting the lyrics up.

5 Moves to Integrate Theology Into Your Ministry

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1. SATURATE YOUR PREACHING AND CONVERSATION WITH BIBLE TRUTH

If, as Paul says, those Old Testament stories were given to us as examples, then we should use them that way. When you are addressing deacons, elders, students or any group in the church, learn to work in Bible narratives and show how they apply to everyday life and decisions.

2. ADDRESS THE SITUATIONS THAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Do not, in the name of being faithful, stick to your preaching plan so rigidly that you fail to speak truth into significant events that shock or affect the sensibilities of your congregation. The death of a local teenager, the closing of the town’s largest employer or a 9/11-type national tragedy all demand biblical answers to the questions in everyone’s mind. Show them how the Word of God addresses those types of events and how the gospel is the ultimate need.

3. MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH JESUS

Being in ministry means learning to live with the disappointment of people. Sometimes you will genuinely let them down because of your shortcomings and failures, and sometimes they will have unrealistic expectations. If you build your ministry on yourself and on your abilities, this disillusionment—both yours and theirs—will be crippling. If, on the other hand, you show them that Jesus is the only one who never disappoints, that our hope is in him and that he alone is our standard and our strength, then their hope rests on Christ alone. Talk constantly about Jesus, about his attributes and about his grace and truth. We see more of God’s glory in Christ than Moses ever saw on Sinai. Jesus is lovely and he is ours.

4. PIVOT TO THE GOSPEL

Just as all the Scripture ultimately relates to Christ, so does all of life and knowledge. Ministry is usually done in the context of hurt, tragedy, sin and sin’s effects. In every one of those situations, comfort the hurting with soothing words of genuine pastoral affection, but find the way to turn toward how the gospel addresses this kind of situation with redemption, salvation, forgiveness and the resurrection.

5. STAY THERE

If you want a church to be saturated with truth, then stay there and walk through life with them. It takes time to lay the foundation, and more time to build the superstructure. Plant your life. Show them what a gospel-centered marriage and family looks like. Preach the Word—both testaments, law and gospel, all genres, creation, fall, longing, fulfillment, consummation. They won’t get that strategic grasp of the scriptures from six consecutive pastors, but they might from one who stays and lives life in community with them.

This article originally appeared here.

‘Anglicostal’: How Pentecostal Faith Prepared Me for the Anglican Church

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Have you ever heard of an Anglican Pentecostal? Is such a thing possible?

At my ordination, the bishop gave me the option of kneeling or laying prostrate while he prayed over me. Laying face-down in a worship service in front of hundreds of people? That might seem odd, but for me it was a no-brainer. As a Pentecostal, this was my assumed position for laying it all before Jesus. And as an Anglican pastor, I was ready to lay down my life.

Anglican Pentecostal? Anglicostal?

My spiritual formation and upbringing were in charismatic Christianity. In 1994, my home church in Buffalo, New York, experienced a revival that saw weeks of daily services, healings and conversions, and (notably) people falling on the floor and laughing. It was in the same stream of 1994 revivals that swept not only the famed Toronto Blessing, but also Holy Trinity Brompton in the U.K. and the Brownsville revival in Pensacola the next year.

As a child, I tip-toed over rolling, jubilant bodies as children’s church let out, looking for my family’s belongings. Later, my own spiritual formation was rooted in a transformative year around age 19 when I pursued the realities of charismatic experience for myself.

After college, though, I left the region and found myself in an evangelical, church-planting Anglican church in Washington, D.C.

As I wear my clerical collar these days, planting a new church back in Buffalo, people are often surprised to hear that my roots are in something entirely different. “How did that happen?” They expect a story about a falling-out or a rejection.

But I cannot give it to them. It’s much more complicated.

Same and Different

In a Pentecostal church service, people may shout or dance. There may be opportunities to give spontaneous additions to the service as the Holy Spirit directs. People jump and dance.

These elements are much less likely in an Anglican church.

Don’t get me wrong—there is a lot of overlap. Both traditions emphasize physical gestures in worship: kneeling and genuflecting in the one, going down in the Spirit in the other. Prostration in both. Both see the worship experience as a central element in the service. Both have a spiritual appreciation for physical space.

For example, Pentecostals pray over the chairs before church services, or command demons out of rooms; Anglicans consecrate churches and make the sign of the cross over just about anything. I recently did a house blessing at my new home, and to be honest the whole thing would have made total sense in either Anglican or Pentecostal circles, as we anointed the door with oil, rebuked the devil and prayed through the rooms.

But there are also differences. Not merely opposing beliefs, but areas where the other doth not stray.

First, the liturgy.

Pentecostals do have “liturgies” in the sense of expectations and order, but it was in Anglican churches that I learned spiritual rhythms to sustain my soul. For me, the identifying mark of charismatic spirituality is striving, and this left me exhausted until I began to understand the regular methods of soul formation inherent in the Prayer Book. I needed this.

10 Things You Should Do for Your Children’s Ministry in 2018

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I’m sure you’re already thinking about 2018 and how you can make it a great year for your children’s ministry.

Here are 10 things you should do for your children’s ministry in 2018. These can help you take the ministry to a new level next year.

Read a book with your staff and/or key volunteers. Pick a book that can help you and your team grow. It might be a ministry book, leadership book or spiritual growth book. Read it and discuss together what you are learning from the chapters.

Here are some suggestions…

If Disney Ran Your Children’s Ministry

The Formula for Building Great Volunteer Teams

Deep & Wide: Creating Churches Unchurched People Love

Start with the Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

How Successful People Lead

Creativity, Inc.

The Compound Effect

Reassess everything you’re doing. Is it effective? Is it still relevant? Does anything need to be added? Does anything need to be stopped? Is the curriculum helping kids grow spiritually? Are you reaching new families? What is going well? What is struggling?

Ask these and other hard questions about everything you do. This will keep you from getting stuck in a rut next year and will prevent sacred cows from eating up your ministry’s resources, volunteers and time.

Have a church-wide children’s day. Have at least one weekend where the entire church focuses on the children’s ministry during the adult service.

On this day, highlight the children’s ministry on the front cover of the worship bulletin. Have kids lead worship in the adult service. Have a child pray for the offering in the adult service. Have the children’s ministry director or a guest speaker bring the sermon in the service and share about the importance of children’s ministry. Recognize volunteers in the service and thank them for investing in the next generation. Share praise reports about what God is doing in the lives of kids and families. Have a children’s parade into the adult service. Highlight some of the big events and programs that are happening that year.

This can be a huge win for your children’s ministry. You can see the importance of children’s ministry elevated immediately in your church by having a designated, church-wide children’s day.

Update your facilities. Your facilities matter…a lot. Run-down facilities will make your children’s ministry seem worse than it really is. Good facilities will make your children’s ministry seem better than it really is.

Unless you have brand new facilities, there is something that needs updating. It may be painting some rooms. It might be buying new chairs. It might be new flooring in some areas. It might be a new video screen or new television. It might be new rocking chairs for the nursery.

Do as much as you can with the money you have access to or can get donated/given. Focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t do.

Updating your facilities will bring fresh excitement and energy to your ministry in 2018. I guarantee it.

This Week, Re-Calibrate Your Life

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The last week of the year is my favorite week of the year. Between Christmas and New Year I hit the reset button and re-calibrate my life. During this time, I leverage eight practices that help me wrap up one year and start the new year right.

1. Rest

The first practice is to slow my pace. The holidays can be hectic, not to mention the pace of life itself. Once Christmas is over, Karen and I intentionally slow the pace of our lives. We rest. We don’t load up the calendar with lots of activities. It’s a time to mentally, emotionally and physically slow down. This week offers flex and spontaneity. This slowed pace creates a greater sense of peace, and it clears my mind to better leverage the other seven practices.

2. Recharge

The second practice is to recharge relationally. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are always spent with our families. We protect this time, and we consider it a relational tradition. The day after Christmas, we don’t go anywhere. It’s unrushed, unplanned, un-everything. In general, the week after Christmas is relationally refreshing. A few years ago we went to Disneyland, but most years we just enjoy time together at home and around the city.

3. Rejoice

It’s easy for leaders to get so focused on where they’re going that they never stop to express thanks for where they’ve been. I like to create a “gratitude list” during the last week of the year. It’s an opportunity to celebrate wins, and to rejoice in God’s goodness for what He has done throughout the year. My gratitude list includes a variety of things…God’s faithfulness, provision, moments of celebration, wins, goals reached, etc. (a big “rejoicing” moment a couple years ago was when I survived my heart and pulmonary failure).

4. Renew

Next, I like to set aside time for spiritual and mental renewal. I’ll spend extra time in Scripture and prayer, and let my soul be refreshed. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” To “seek first” is to make a single-minded priority—a first and foremost habit—to pursue a life fully submitted to Christ’s rule and authority, and to conform to Christ’s standard of character and holiness. When this happens, God provides the things that He knows we need.

I also use the “renew” practice to read a book or two that challenges my thinking and refreshes my soul. Over the years I’ve read books like Replenish: Leading from a Healthy Soul by Lance Witt, Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown and Addicted to Busy by Brady Boyd. These books offer wisdom to stay in the game, remain spiritually and emotionally fit, and focus on the most important issues.

The Lord Promises to Be With My Mouth

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“Now, therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say” (Exodus 4:12).

I love the sass we hear coming from Moses.

Is that too strong a word? It probably is, since my dictionary defines sass as “disrespectful speech.”

Gentle backtalk. Assertiveness, maybe.

Anyway…

Toward the end of his exchange with the Lord who spoke to him from the burning bush, as God called him to confront Pharaoh and deliver Israel from Egypt, and after Moses has run up excuse after excuse, only to be shot down by the Lord, Moses adds one more. (I love that sentence! smiley-face here)

“O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant, but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”

Something about that resonates with me.

“Lord,” Moses was saying, “Even though it’s mighty special being talked to by the living God and all that, meeting You like this has not suddenly made me a gifted, eloquent speaker. I’m still the tongue-tied stammerer I was an hour ago. I’m still me.”

That’s Joe’s paraphrase.

“And the Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing or the blind? Have not I, the Lord? Now, therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.”

What, I wonder, does it mean for the Lord to “be with my mouth”?

These are some thoughts that come to mind. You’ll think of others…

1) When the Lord is with your mouth, you will sometimes be amazed at what comes out.

Where did this wisdom come from, you wonder. And you remember Matthew 10:20 says: “It is not you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father is speaking through you.”

Every teacher and every preacher wants the Lord to be with his/her mouth before they open it to declare God’s truth.

2) When the Lord is with your mouth, you will sometimes stand in awe of what you did not say (and would have otherwise). Self-control. What James called “putting a bit into the horse’s mouth” in order to control it (James 3:3).

We are all so capable of misspeaking ourselves, as the politicians put it. That’s why we pray Psalm 141:3. “Set a guard upon my mouth, O Lord …”

3) When the Lord is with your mouth, your words bless people. Your words are helpful, healing, wholesome.

4 Rules for Responding to Nasty Emails

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Every so often I receive an email written out of anger, hurt or any one of the various emotions that cause people to lash out at others. Sometimes these emails are specifically written to inflict pain and shut down communication, while other times they are written to elicit a specific response from me. I’ve only ever been a pastor, so I’m not sure what other people endure, but I’m reasonably certain that this can’t possibly be the only profession that invites these kinds of letters. I imagine that many of you receive them from time to time.

Today I want to address this seemingly new phenomenon of human beings launching virtual cannonballs from the comfort of their couch and pajamas. I imagine that the rise in this type of behavior is due in part to the easy access that we have to the people we are upset with. It used to be that when you had a grievance, you would either set up a meeting and prepare your thoughts to be delivered face to face. You were forced to look into the eyes of the other person. Where your body language spoke far more than your words ever could. Where there is a sense of respect and decorum. That type of scenario is exactly what many people fear, and, until recent history, this is what has kept them and their emotional outbursts in check.

But in this day and age, we can inject ourselves, our anger, our unhealth and our spiritual darkness directly into the souls of the person who has become the object of our ire during their family dinner, their prayer time or the busiest parts of their day, through email. And for the bitter minded, this is far too big of a temptation to pass up.

So what do we do? How do we respond? How do we interact with ungraciousness? Well, I can only tell you what I have learned over the years (through both my failures and successes) about how to respond to this type of behavior. So here are some simple rules that I follow. Rules that have helped me turn many of these interactions into helpful dialogue instead of heated and destructive breakdowns in relationship. So here we go.

Rule #1: Wait 48 hours before responding.

I make a general habit of trying to treat the majority of digital correspondence as if it were not digital at all, but tangible. Like a handwritten note that I received via old-fashioned snail mail. Putting some chronological distance between the initial emotions, and the response.

This does two things:

1) It gives them time to think about the repercussions of their actions.

It takes time for information to be processed. They probably haven’t taken that time. They acted out of anger, combined with unfettered access to you. A couple of days of letting their thoughts settle will do them (and you) some good. Often I will receive a follow-up email a day later that will try to soften their previous letter, and sometimes even a request to meet in person…which is the best possible scenario. Regret and shame weigh heavy on people. It can drive them to the realization that they are in a dark place and need to draw near to people, not push them away. Time to think and to let the spirit of God do his work can soften the heart.

2) It gives you time to think about your response.

Your first instinct is to defend and fire back. You, no doubt, know about some easy jabs that you could throw at them: pointing out their struggles with some sin that you know about, stupid things that they have done, all of the misinformation that they have gathered. This is not only unhelpful, it throws more heat on the fire.

Remember, they weren’t thinking clearly when they wrote the letter and, at this moment, neither are you. Let things settle, abandon the scene of the accident and return when the adrenaline has worn off. You will find that you can easily look at things differently, and only then will you be able to respond with your integrity intact.

Rule #2: Do not defend yourself.

Let me quote a passage from my favorite book, “Celebration of Discipline” by Richard Foster:

How (and Why) to Stop Asking God to Change Your Spouse

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How much time do you spend focusing on how to love your spouse versus trying to change your spouse?

While working on my book Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your MarriageI interviewed a woman who told me about an amazing marital “exercise” she put into practice. She spent an entire year working on her husband’s Christmas present. What she did was write a journal that recorded something she was thankful for about her husband that particular day. These were very specific, day-by-day accounts of what the husband did and why she was thankful to be married to him: putting up the Christmas lights when it was very cold (December 7), coming home and playing with the kids after a long business trip even though he was obviously tired (Sept. 22), that kind of thing.

When she gave her husband the journal he immediately sat down and read it in one sitting. Later, when recounting this gift to a friend, he told him, “Reading that journal makes me aspire to be the man she thinks I am.”

This wife thought she was giving a gift to her husband, but what she found was that by affirming him so specifically she was giving a gift to herself. She was motivating her husband to become even more of what she appreciated.

I recounted this story to a men’s Bible study that I attend, and one of the men said, “Why don’t we do that for our wives?” We all thought, “Yeah, that would be nice,” and then did what we men typically do—forget about it.

Except that this man went to an office supply store and bought six blank daily journals and brought them to our Bible study the very next week.

I began filling in the day-to-day account that very day. It was easiest for me to do it first thing in the morning. I’d wake up, and even before I prayed, I’d pick up the journal, reflect on the previous day, and write something nice about what Lisa had said or done. Occasionally, it might just be a reflection of who she is, but I wanted it to be very specific, not generic—something that couldn’t be written about any other woman.

After just one month of doing this, I noticed something curious—I hadn’t prayed once for God to change my wife. When you begin each day thanking God (and your wife, through writing) for who your wife is and what she has done, and you have a running account of her excellence that soon stretched over not just weeks, but months, it just seemed a bit picky to then say, “But God, could you also shape her to do more of this? Or a little less of that?”

There’s more to it than this, though. Because I had to find something new to write about every day, I had to scan my wife throughout the day, trying to “catch” her doing something wonderful, or making sure I remembered something positive that she said. So I was always on the lookout for the best, her most excellent qualities and characteristics. If I saw something displeasing, it wasn’t relevant to me. I couldn’t write about that! So I’d forget it and keep looking for the good.

It changed the way I thought about, looked at, acted toward and spoke about my wife. During the summer I began to get paranoid about losing the journal. Because I was writing it in longhand, it couldn’t be replaced. But even if I had lost it, it still would have been a tremendous gift to both my wife and me. It was an early gift to my wife because it changed the way I treated her, appreciated her, and spoke to and about her. And it was a gift to me to be reminded and filled with such gratitude that I get to be married to a woman who gives me something new to praise every day.

Last December, that journal became one of my wife’s Christmas gifts. She was almost speechless, which is saying something for Lisa.

“You found 365 nice things to say about me?” she said. “Even on my not-so-nice days?”

Our oldest daughter said, “Sheez, Dad, that’s like something you see in a Hallmark movie that nobody ever actually does.”

Here’s the thing: I’m as happy as I’ve ever been in my marriage, no doubt due in part to the fact that I spent the better part of a year looking for the positive in my wife every single day. My wife feels particularly cherished because she feels the effects of a husband who is mentally choosing to cherish her first thing in the morning every day.

Everybody wins.

And it took me no more than a couple minutes a day.

Why not give this exercise on how to love your spouse a try?

This blog about how to love your spouse is not written for women in abusive marriages. The advice offered in these posts will challenge both husbands and wives, but the advice could be counter-productive if it is applied in an abusive relationship.

This article about how to love your spouse originally appeared here.

Make Christmas a Starting Point, Not a Dead End Zone

communicating with the unchurched

Something happens in Christian families around the holidays. Everyone starts looking for advent resources. We get online and buy books about baby Jesus. We start googling creative ways to make Christmas about Him instead of about presents. We decide to start new traditions, like reading the Christmas story from the Bible beside the Christmas tree. We put as many nativity sets as possible in our house, and we try to find Spotify lists that are heavy on carols about the manger.

We know that we want Christmas to mainly be about Jesus. Yet, we also want it to be about presents. And family. And food. And decorations. And Christmas movies. It’s wonderful to focus as much as possible on Jesus and the deep, true, forever impact that the birth of Christ has on everything. In fact, it’s essential. We should do that as much as possible throughout this season. But, what really matters is not how much we talk about Jesus during December. What will make an eternal impact on our families is how much we talk about Jesus during all the other months of the year. What matters is whether we are living out this faith in regular, every day life.

Does Jesus have any other place in your family’s life, or is He reserved just for the manger?

Are you deeply involved with a local church, where your children are learning and growing in His word? Are you serving others through your church family so that your children see what true Christianity is? Are you allowing God’s word to impact the decisions you make, the conversations you have, the spending you do, the ordering of your priorities?

Is December the only time you talk to your children about spiritual things?

How many of us, when we put our tree away and begin a new year, will forget all about the zeal we had during the Christmas season for teaching our kids about Christ?

It doesn’t have to be that way. Instead of making Christmas just another spiritual dead end, what if we used it as a crucial, beautiful, world-altering starting place for a life that revolves around Jesus? What if we prayed and asked God to revive our hearts this Christmas, to restore the joy of our salvation? What if this Christmas Jesus brought real and lasting revival to our own hearts, our families, our churches? What if this is the very good beginning of a changed life, one where we and our our children and our children’s children will see the impact of true devotion to Christ alter everything about us?

It will mean an invasion of our hearts and minds. A no holds barred attack on the sin in our own lives. It will mean giving up entertainment and activities that are separating us from Christ. It will mean sacrificial living.

But, it will all be worth it. We want our children to be able to stand before Jesus and hear those precious words: Well done, my good and faithful servant. It begins with us. How are we helping to get them to that moment? What are we placing as a higher priority? Sports? Sleeping in? Money? Everything else seems ridiculous when compared to an eternity with the King of Kings. Our kids need to know there’s more to Christ than a sweet little baby on a bed of hay. We have to get them beyond the Christmas story. We have to show them though our own lives and through the church and through His perfect word that He is mighty and merciful, and everything about Him can change everything about us.

Do your advent calendars and your Jesse trees and your nightly reading of the Christmas story. But, don’t stop there. When January rolls around, will your kids be able to look back at Christmas and recognize it as the beginning of a Jesus-focused life for your family? Or will it look like yet another spiritual dead end?

We are the last people on this Earth who should be walking our kids down spiritual roads that lead nowhere. Run to Christ and watch your little ones follow. Abundant life and eternal hope are the sweetest gifts of all.

This article originally appeared here.

The Limitations of New Year’s Resolutions

communicating with the unchurched

Resolutions are powerful things. We feel all the energy of a new year rushing forward, washing over past failures or shortcomings. I like goals and fresh starts and reset buttons. But they have their limits. And as with so many things, the better we are at recognizing their limits, the more likely we are to enjoy them for what they are.

Five years ago, I wrote a blog on why resolutions miss the mark. And while I may have been a little gloomy about the topic as a whole, there are a few thoughts worth repeating as we step into a new year.

————————–

Why does it seem that no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to make ourselves better? If Life gave out report cards, we would be lucky to hold a B average.

What if the whole approach is off target? What if life—and life with God—is not first about progress and improvement?

The Bible has two favorite word pictures for our life with God. The first is of a potter and clay. We are reminded that God is the potter and that we are the clay. Using this imagery, God rebukes Israel for trying to take over what only God can do:

“You turn things upside down as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘He did not make me’? Can the pot say of the potter, ‘He knows nothing’?” (Is. 26:19)

Jesus picks up on this theme by pointing out the futility of worry:

“Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matt. 6: 27)

We cannot make ourselves more like Jesus any more than a lump of clay can make itself into a vase. We are not the initiator of change; we are the responder. From the picture of a potter and clay, we learn the first reason resolutions often miss the mark:

God is in charge of the process and the progress; we are responsible for our response.

We often defend our addiction to progress with the word “growth.” We need to grow this year—that’s why we have so many goals. The second biblical image speaks to the concern for growth. Life with God is often pictured as a tree planted by streams.  

3 False Productivity Goals That Trap Too Many Leaders

communicating with the unchurched

It’s a universal tension you feel and almost every leader experiences: the drive to get more done.

Maybe you feel the pressure because you’re starting or restarting something, and you know that if you only do more of the same, the end is near. So you push hard and drive for more. And before you know it, you’re out of hours to get it all done.

Or maybe whatever you lead is growing. You’re just trying to keep up and are drowning under the onslaught of requests and demands that keep coming your way. You just can’t keep up.

I’ve led in both scenarios.

The drive to get more done almost always comes with a cost: you and the ones you love.

The question I want to keep asking is: Does it have to be that way, in my life and in your life?

I believe the answer is no.

While there’s no easy answer, there are better answers. You just need to know how to find them.

I know I’ve settled for false productivity goals before I realized that there are better ways to organize my time.

To help you, I’m giving away a free calendar template (it works on iCal and GoogleCal among others) and video training that can help you organize your time for 2018 (well, actually, you can start applying it today). The free download and training are available for a very limited time.

You can download the free calendar template and watch the free video training here.

The download contains the calendar system that’s helped me stay on top of my time during seasons of explosive growth, and, well, in every season. You can 100 percent customize it to your situation to make it fit your life.

When I follow the system I outline in the calendar, I thrive. When I don’t, well, it’s not as pretty.

Along the way, here are three false productivity goals I’ve had to abandon on my leadership journey.

See if you can relate. I hope all of it helps you.

1. Effectiveness, Not Efficiency

I remember when our churches started to grow, I was all about efficiency.

Efficiency, after all, would save the day.

If I could get something that used to take an hour down to 30 minutes, I could double my capacity. Enter technology, and efficiency can go on a rocket ride.

The problem is efficiency, though, is its limits. By nature, efficiency lives in the finite universe of time.

No matter how smart or capable you may be, every leader only gets 24 hours each day.

As a result, efficiency can only get you so far. By nature, it has diminishing returns.

9 Ways Your Church Can Help Your Pastor Continue to Grow

communicating with the unchurched

No Christian leader should stop growing, but it happens. We get so busy in the day-to-day “stuff” that we fail to feed ourselves well. Here are some ways you can help your pastor continue to grow:

1. Pray specifically for his continued growth. Too many church members complain about pastors for whom they’ve not prayed very much. Ask God to grow your pastor every week, and you’ll be more patient with him as God does His work in him.

2. Hold him accountable for taking his weekly day off and his annual vacation. When we don’t take a break, our mind and our body get worn out—and nobody has the energy left for future growth. Weary people don’t grow well.

3. Hold him accountable for his overall growth (emotional, spiritual, physical, etc.). Maybe the elders, deacons or personnel committee in your church can gently and supportively walk beside your pastor in this area. At a minimum, pray he has a friend to carry out this role.

4. Provide him a “Resource” account in the church budget. Books and resources are expensive. Giving your pastor some ADDITIONAL funds (that is, not taken out of his salary) will encourage him to read more.

5. Give him a “Conference” account in the budget. Sometimes, it’s just good to get away and learn from others—but we don’t have the money to do it. Help make it possible for your pastor to go to at least one training/preaching conference each year.

6. Encourage him to continue his education. I admit my bias here, but additional training is good for all of us. If you want to encourage your pastor in this direction, do these things: Fund at least some of his education, and don’t count his days in class as vacation days. (And by the way, contact me at clawless@sebts.edu if you want to know more Southeastern Seminary’s programs).

7. Give him book gift cards for Christmas. Most pastors will be grateful for even more money to spend on books. Trust me.

8. Ask him to lead folks in studying good Christian books together. For example, use one morning each week to study a book on theology, Christian living or spiritual disciplines. Your pastor will grow as he leads you.

9. Give him a regularly-scheduled sabbatical. I know this topic is controversial, but I think it’s wise to give your pastor an extended time to study, recover, learn and get replenished every five to seven years. A month or so of genuine focus on God can make a big difference.

What other ideas would you add?

This article originally appeared here.

Fighting for and Finding Joy

communicating with the unchurched

Joy is one of those things we’re all searching for. No matter where we’re at in life, we all seem to want the same thing: to be happy.

As Americans, it’s even one of our founding rights—the pursuit of happiness. And we look for it everywhere.

We’ll look to a person to find joy. Often thinking, if I could just find the perfect spouse. If I could have a family. If I could find an awesome group of friends…then I would have joy.

Or we’ll run to our job or a status in the hopes of finding joy. And if I could just get this promotion, a certain position, a specific amount of followers…then I would have joy.

We run after money and stuff. If I had this thing, a bigger house, a nicer car, a better that, if I just had more of…then I would have joy.

Or we’re waiting for a certain day to come. It’s like, I just can’t wait until the day that I graduate, get married, have a baby, retire, win the lottery. (It doesn’t hurt to dream, right?) When that day comes I’ll be so happy. Then I’ll have joy.

But here’s the truth: We might find joy for a moment, especially in the wonderful blessings that come from God himself, but yet even with the best of things, the joy never seems to last. I’ve found that once I get exactly what I want, I often feel like I did opening presents on Christmas Eve as a kid—like, now what?

Have you been there?

Maybe you’ve tried looking for joy everywhere, including some places you now regret. Decisions and things you’ve done that you only wish you could take back. You tried to look for joy and all you found was brokenness.

You chased after the American dream—white picket fence, kids, spouse, a good job—and it’s left you feeling empty inside. Is this really all there is?

Joy is one of those things that everyone is searching for, but few people find.

So, if this is true, where can we find true joy? Is it even possible?

Yes, true joy, great joy, is only found in one place: Jesus.

Instead of running after all kinds of different things looking for joy and never finding it.
Instead of being miserable.
Instead of piling up regrets.

Great joy, an abundance of joy, is found in Jesus.

And get this: Jesus doesn’t just offer us joy, He is joy.
He doesn’t just give us joy, He’s the source.

Do we want joy? Jesus.
Do we have no joy? Look to Jesus.
Do we want more joy? Jesus.

Basically, the closer and closer we get to God, the more we fall in love with Him, the more joy will begin to fill our lives.

But here’s the truth when it comes to joy—sometimes we have to fight for joy.

Because each day there are countless things that will try and steal our joy.

A bad email.
A screaming kid that’s covered in some kind of body fluid.
Crazy drivers.
Crazy co-workers.
Crazy people in general.

Sometimes it’s almost like it’s people’s jobs to be joy stealers.

And sadly I’ve found that the more life I live, the less natural joy has become. It’s almost like life has a way of beating the joy right out of you.

And I haven’t even mentioned the big things like cancer.
Marriage problems.
Struggling to get pregnant.
Sometimes it just feels like it’s one thing after the next.

But that’s why we need to fight for joy, isn’t it?

It’s deciding that regardless of what I’m going through, Jesus, I choose you.
And regardless of what today might bring, I’m keeping my eyes on you.
And regardless of what I’m walking through, even through this, Jesus I choose joy.

Joy isn’t about putting on a happy face. Having joy doesn’t mean being fake and wearing a mask. Instead, the good news about Jesus is that in the midst of our hurt, in the midst of our stress, in the midst of life, in the midst of our broken world, God sends us Jesus, and through Jesus we can have joy.

We might need to fight for that joy, but His joy, Jesus’ joy, is constant, and it’s unchanging.

This article originally appeared here.

Christmas, Hope No Matter How Dark the Darkness

communicating with the unchurched

Christmas is a paradoxical holiday it is filled with such joy and at the same time reminds us of great losses. When studying the other night, I came across a message by Tim Keller that talks about how the light of Christmas dispels the shadow of death. I found it convicting and encouraging. I hope that you who feel overwhelmed this Christmas can find your hope in the light the gospel provides. We have much to be hopeful for and rejoice about. We celebrate at Christmas how Jesus came close.

“As silent as snow falling, he came in. And when no one was looking into the darkness, he came.” – Sally Lloyd-Jones

Just before Bonhoeffer was executed, he wrote this to a friend: “Death is the supreme festival on the road to freedom.”

“Death used to be an executioner, but because of the gospel, Jesus has made death just a gardener. All death can do is plant me in his love and make me come up in ways I’ve never been before.” – George Herbert

What is Bonhoeffer saying? What is that? A light dawned on Bonhoeffer. In spite of the fact that there was darkness all around him, the shadow of the fear of death, because he believed Jesus Christ was from that other world, born into this world, Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay the debt the human race owed to justice, so when we died believing in him we can have no fear of anything we have done somehow stymying us or drawing us down so we don’t have to be afraid of death in any way, what did that mean?

Because Bonhoeffer wasn’t afraid of death, he wasn’t afraid of anything. Because Bonhoeffer wasn’t afraid of death, he didn’t care about comfort. He didn’t care about affluence. He didn’t care about power or pleasure or sex or money. He didn’t care. That’s why his people said, “You have it made. You can be a successful professor out here away from Germany. You don’t have to go back in there.”

He didn’t want to not go back. Why not? The shadow of death did not fall on him. He lived in a dark world, but because he believed in Jesus, a light dawned. Because Jesus was born in a manger, that means this world is not all there is.

If you let the knowledge of what Jesus Christ is and has done dawn in your life like Bonhoeffer, you can walk around in any part of the world, any century, any situation without fear.

Bonhoeffer is the exact opposite of the kind of person western Civilization according to Ernest Becker is producing. He wasn’t obsessed with romance and love. He wasn’t obsessed with money. He wasn’t being driven to be successful. There was nothing frantic about him. Because he wasn’t afraid of death, he wasn’t afraid of anything. Christmas means fear no darkness. Christmas means fear not. The angels are always showing up in all the Christmas stories saying, “Fear not, Mary. Fear not, Zechariah. Fear not. Fear no darkness.”

Spurgeon said it this way.

The coming of Jesus to us, when he does really come into our hearts, takes away the darkness of ignorance, sorrow, carelessness, fear and despair. Our night is ended once for all when we behold God visiting us in Christ Jesus. Our day may cloud over, but night will not return. O, you that are in the blackest midnight, if you can but get a view of Christ, morning will have come to you! There is no light for you elsewhere, believe us in this; but if Jesus be seen by faith, you shall need no candles of human confidence, nor sparks of feelings and impressions: the beholding of Christ shall be the ending of all night for you. – C. H. Spurgeon

“The beholding of Christ shall be the ending of all night for you!” Powerful profound truths to ponder this Christmas season. Thank you, Tim Keller. Thank you, Charles Spurgeon. May the light of Christmas dispel the shadow of death in your life. May the hope and joy of Advent fill your heart as you seek him!

This article originally appeared here.

Four Ways to Honor Christ’s Birthday Celebration

communicating with the unchurched

Imagine a large home filled with guests who have come to celebrate the birthday of a beloved friend. Let’s call him Jesse. Scores of acquaintances, work associates, neighbors and family members gather. The volume is quite deafening as individuals reconnect, recollect and rejoice in the excitement of the occasion.

Somehow as the night unfolds, everyone becomes so engaged in the activity they forget all about the “birthday boy.” There is no song, no cake, no card or gifts for him to open—but everyone still has a jovial time.

Another oddity occurs. People actually bring presents to the party—but they are designated for others in attendance. The gifts are opened cheerfully. Each one reflects the great care, thoughtfulness and sacrifice of the giver and is thoroughly appreciated by the recipient.

To add insult to injury, a few people do finally pause to remember Jesse, after the crowd has dissipated—but it feels almost like an afterthought. They remember to grab his gifts from the car—but Jesse has the distinct feeling that the presents are impersonal and spur-of-the-moment. After all is said and done, Jesse did not even receive anything he really wanted for his birthday.

As the last guest leaves, Jesse turns to his wife with a look of obvious disillusionment. His wife tries to comfort him. “Sorry Jesse, we all just got carried away. I guess we kind of forgot why we all got together.” Jesse wanders off to bed dejected, almost wishing this day had never happened. It all seemed like a very strange way to say “Happy Birthday.”

This fictitious story does sound curiously familiar. It may reflect the reality of how we say “Happy Birthday” to Jesus all too often. Let’s consider some alternatives and more appropriate ideas about how to observe the birth of Jesus Christ, by looking at a group of Christ-honoring celebrants who got it right.

Gifts Fit for a King

If forced to choose, I would probably select the Magi as my favorite characters in the Christmas story (other than baby Jesus, of course). In a sense, they are the antithesis to our opening story about Jesse and his guests.

These mysterious sages understood a reality that entire societies of the day missed. It was someone’s birthday. The wise men knew it was someone special, evidenced in their words, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him” (Matthew 2:2).They later quoted their study of the Old Testament prophet Micah when they described this newborn as “a Ruler who will shepherd My people Israel.” That passage in Micah 5:2 further states that this Ruler would be one “whose goings forth are from of old, from everlasting.” The Magi knew this was no ordinary child.

When the Magi’s journey ended, they found the “child” in a “house” (which may indicate they arrived months after His birth, perhaps up to two years later). In any case, they did not arrive empty-hearted or empty-handed. Filled with joy, the Magi brought thoughtful and significant gifts, worthy of a King, a Priest, and a Savior. Gold represented royalty. Frankincense was connected to worship. Myrrh was used to embalm the dead. These grown, dignified scholars fell on their faces in the presence of the little boy who was the King of Kings and honored His birthday the right way. In so many ways, these Magi are the model for our best Christmas celebrations.

Filled with joy, the Magi brought thoughtful and significant gifts, worthy of a King, a Priest and a Savior.

Propaganda and the Gospel

communicating with the unchurched

Watch Propaganda and the gospel come to life in these five minutes:

“It’s the full story of life crushed into 4 minutes
The entirety of humanity in the palm of your hand crushed into one sentence
Listen, it’s intense right
God. Our. Sins. Paying. Everyone. Life
The greatest story ever told, that’s hardly ever told
God. Yes. God
The maker and giver of life
And by life I mean any and all matter and substance
Seen and unseen
What can and can’t be touched
Thoughts, image, emotions, love, atoms and oceans, God
All of it his handy work
One of which is masterpiece
Made so uniquely that angels looked curiously
The one thing in creation that was made with his imagery
The concept so cold
It’s the reason I stay bold
How God breathed in the man and he became a living soul
Formed with the intent of being infinitely, intimately fond
Creator and creation held in eternal bond
And it was placed in perfect paradise til something went wrong
A species got deceived and started lusting for his job
An odd list of complaints, as if the system ain’t working
And used that same breath he graciously gave us to curse him
And that sin seed spread though our soul’s genome
And by nature of your nature, your species, you participated in the mutiny
Our. Yes. Our sins
Its nature inherited, lack in the human heart
It was over before it started
Deceived from day one and lead away by our own lusts
There’s not a religion in the world that doesn’t agree that something’s wrong with us
The question is what is it?
And how do we fix it?
Are we eternally separated from a God that may or not have existed?
But that’s another subject. Let’s keep grinding
Besides trying to prove God is like defending a lion homie
It don’t need your help, just unlock the cage
Let’s move on how our debt can be paid
Short and sweet
The problem is Sin
Yes. Sin
It’s a cancer. An asthma. Choking out our life force
Forcing separation from a perfect and holy God
And the only way to get back is to get back to perfection
But silly us, trying to pass the course of life without referring to a syllabus
This is us
Heap up your good deeds. Chant, pray, meditate
But all of that of course is spraying cologne on a corpse
Or you could choose to ignore it as if something don’t stink
It’s like stepping it dog poop and refusing to wipe your shoe
But all of that ends with how good is good enough?
Take your silly list of good deeds and line them up against perfection, good luck
That’s life past your pay grade
The cost of your soul you ain’t gotta big enough piggy bank
But you could give it a shot
But I suggest you throw away the list
Cause even your good acts are an extension of your selfishness
But here’s where it gets interesting
I hope you’re closely listening
Please don’t get it twisted
It’s what makes our faith unique
Here’s what God says is part A of the gospel
You can’t fix yourself, quit trying it’s impossible
Sin brings death
Give God his breath back, you owe him
Eternally separated and the only way to fix it is someone die in your place
And that someone gotta be perfect
Or the payment ain’t permanent
So if and when you find the perfect person
Get him or her to willingly trade their perfection for your sin and death in
Clearly since the only one that can meet God’s criteria is God
God sent himself as Jesus to pay the cost for us
His righteousness, His death, functions as Payment
Yes. Payment
Wrote a check with his life but at the resurrection we all cheered cause that means the check cleared
Pierced feet, pierced hands, blood stained Son of Man
Fullness, forgiveness, free passage into the promise land
That same breath God breathed into us God gave up to redeem us
And anyone and everyone
And by Everyone, I mean Everyone
Who puts their faith in trust in Him and Him alone can stand in full confidence of God’s forgiveness
And here’s what the promise is
That you are guaranteed full access to return to perfect unity
By simply believing in Christ and Christ alone
You are receiving Life
Yes. Life
This is the Gospel
God. Our. Sins. Paying. Everyone. Life” – Jason Emmanuel Petty (Propaganda)

 

The Death of Billy Graham: What Place Does Music Hold in His Legacy?

5 Essentials People Want from a Leader

communicating with the unchurched

What leadership essentials do people want from their church leaders?

You might be a senior pastor, volunteer small group leader, campus pastor, head usher, student pastor or leader of the parking team.

Ultimately, people want the same basic things from you as a leader.

Some of the people you serve may place a lot of demands on you, and you’ll go crazy if you try to meet all those demands.

Main Leadership Essentials

But I have found, in general, that most people are reasonable, and at the core, they want the same essentials in a leader.

If you let the few “unreasonable” people consume your time, wear you out and beat you down, you’ll never move forward. Be kind but say no. Love them but hold firm. If they leave, let them know they are welcome to come back.

Focus your energy on these FIVE LEADERSHIP ESSENTIALS that reasonable people want.

1) They want to know that you are full of faith.

Leaders possess great faith. Faith in the achievability of the vision, and faith in the fact that God is with you in that vision. If you don’t have confidence, your people won’t!

However, we also stumble in our faith, experience seasons of lesser faith, and moments of uncertainty. You need a place to be honest about the level of your faith. This will be helpful as you learn to cultivate faith as a leader.

It helps me to reflect on the things God has done in the past. When I remember what He has done, I’m refreshed and renewed about what He can do. It’s God’s church! He wants it to succeed!

2) They want to know where you’re going.

People are busy, and they carefully evaluate their hours each day more than ever before. Even just a couple hours on a Sunday. Because of this, they look for value, not just activity when attending church.

Essentially, we compete with all the demands of people’s lives. The good news is that what we do through the church revolves around a purpose of arguably ultimate value.

Therefore, your mission-critical responsibility is to be clear on your purpose and where you are headed, regardless of your specific role as a leader.

It’s important that you clearly and succinctly communicate the direction your vision takes the church, your campus, team or group.

Your Christmas Eve Message

communicating with the unchurched

A pastor’s Christmas Eve message will have a flavor all its own. Because of the relaxed nature of the evening, the sermon is often directed toward the child in all of us. Hence, the following…

My friend Annette loves to pass along to me her assignments. Her Mississippi church frequently invites her to give a talk on this or that, and she messages for my take on that subject. She uses nothing I do verbatim, but I suspect some of my responses provoke creative ideas in her.

Some of the most interesting pieces on our website were instigated by Annette.

The other day her message said, “I have to explain the Christmas story to children ages 4-11 in my church. Help!”

I began by assuring her that I am not the best one to ask about this. I’m fast approaching birthday number 75 and my youngest grandchild becomes a teenager in February. Furthermore, women explain things to children better than men do. But always eager to assist, I jotted down a few thoughts for her. And that’s when something occurred to me.

All the people sitting before the pastor on Christmas Eve will be children.

Some will be old children, with white heads (or bald ones), while others will be younger parents and adult singles. And there will be “children children” by which we mean toddlers, preschoolers, the whole bunch. But the thing to keep in mind is that everyone sitting before the pastor is either a child now or has been at one time.

Childhood is one thing we all have in common.

As I did the stream-of-consciousness thing with Annette, jotting down random thoughts on what she might tell the children, an old story came to mind.

Now, my first thought was to discard that tale as too old, too familiar and thus of little value.

Then, something occurred.

To little children, there are no old stories. Everything is new.

And this story is one of the best, even for those hearing it for the umpteenth time.

Dad had stayed home that evening. His wife and children were attending the church’s Christmas program and they had wanted him to go with them, but he was tired and looked forward to a quiet evening in front of the fireplace. He did not make a point of this, but the truth is he had little use for religion. That Christmas stuff is all right for children, he supposed, but Santa and Frosty and Rudolph and Baby Jesus in a manger, well, he had put all that away when he became a man.

Suddenly, Dad realized he had a visitor in the house. A bird was loose and flying around. Perhaps it had come through the door when he brought groceries in earlier. Or through a window. But here it was, flitting from room to room, looking for a way out.

Quickly, Dad opened the back door and using a broom, tried to drive the bird out. But the little guy flew into a back bedroom. Dad went in and swatted at it, driving it into the hallway. Then, the bird flew right into a closed window, and was momentarily stunned. “Poor stupid thing,” Dad thought. “I’m trying to help it, if he would just let me.”

For the next five minutes, the frustrated man followed that bird throughout the house as both became exhausted. All the while, Dad kept thinking, “If I could just make him see. I’m trying to help. I don’t want to hurt him. Everything I’m doing is for him.”

Suddenly, something occurred to him. “If I could become a bird, I could tell him in his language. But that would be the only way I can get this across to him. I’d have to become like him.”

At that moment, a light dawned on him. “That’s the point of Christmas, of Jesus being born in Bethlehem. God was becoming one of us in order to speak to us, to get His message across.”

At that point, the bird flew out the door, and Dad closed it. Then, he went into his room and changed clothes and drove to the church. He arrived just in time for the beginning of the Nativity play. His family was delighted to see him. 

It was the best Christmas ever for Dad and his family.

Scripture says, “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. And we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).

Jesus said, “He who has seen me has seen the Father. I am in the Father and the Father is in me” (John 14:9-10).

“God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself” (2 Corinthians 5:19).

In the opening of the Epistle to the Hebrews, the anonymous writer begins by telling how the Heavenly Father spoke to mankind for ages through prophets and such. “But now, in these last days, He has spoken to us through His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds” (Hebrews 1:1-2).

This article originally appeared here.

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