7 Reasons Pastors Need to Spend Time Overseas

December 31, 2017

I write this post as a pastor who is leading training this week in West Africa, where my fire for missions has been refueled again. Every pastor, I’m convinced, needs to spend some time overseas. That time may be as short as a week or as long as years, but I’m certain we need to commit the time. Here’s why:

We need to see that the world is bigger than our world. By far, most of the world doesn’t live in the United States. Most of the Christians in the world don’t live here, either. Simply stated, we won’t reach the world as long as we think we are the world.
We need to see how little we are. Even if every believer in America knew your name, read every book you’ve ever written, listened to every podcast you’ve produced, and saw you as a hero, 95 percent of the world still would not know your name. That’s humbling.
We need to see the lostness of the world. Get a chance to listen to the sounds of the Islamic call to prayer five times of day. Hear and see Buddhist prayer flags flapping in the wind. Watch as people bow before statues they created with their own hands. You’ll never be the same after you stand in the middle of darkness.
We need to see the hunger of the believing world. I’ve watched as believers around the world listen to my teaching, record every word, and then reteach it to others. I make no claim that my teaching is that good; I’m simply noting the hunger of people who long for training. You’ll likely find people who don’t want to stop the training.
We need to meet people who are paying the price of following Christ. We Americans tend to throw around the term “persecution” and act as if any opposition we face is persecution. It wouldn’t hurt us to learn more about what real persecution is.
We need to learn the realities of contextualization. Teaching well overseas is never as simple as translating our outlines into another language. It requires understanding contexts, worldviews, histories and theologies of the people we teach. Frankly, learning the importance of these issues will help us in sharing the gospel in the United States as well.
We need to meet missionaries. Pastors and their congregations will support missions better if they actually know missionaries—and it’s not the missionary’s job to come to us. It’s our job as pastors to develop relationships with them.

Pastors who have been there, give us other reasons to spend time overseas.

Leaders Lead the Way By Example

Dale Hudson

December 31, 2017

One of my favorite movies is Gladiator. It has lots of great leadership lessons.

In the opening scene, the Romans are preparing to enter battle against the Germanic tribes. Maximus, the general, is talking with his men, whom he is leading into battle.

There are several great leadership lessons in his words. The most famous is the quote, “What we do in life, echoes in eternity.” It reminded the men of the impact their mission was having and took them to the “why” of the battle.

There is another quote from his words to the men that I want us to look at. It’s these words…

“Hold the line. STAY WITH ME. If you find yourself alone, riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled; for you are in Elysium, and you’re already dead!”

The words that stand out are “Stay with Me!”

Then, as you see him leading the men down the hill and into battle, you hear him yelling the words again in the midst of the battle…”Stay With Me!”

He doesn’t say these words while he is observing the battle from a hillside. He doesn’t say these words from the back of the troop. He doesn’t say these words through a captain he has appointed to lead the charge. He doesn’t say these words from the safety of a fortress wall.

He says it from the front of the line. He says it while he is leading the charge.

This is a great reminder that leaders lead the way by example. If you are leading a ministry, then you have a responsibility to your team to lead the way by example.

If you want your team to invite people to join them and start volunteering, then you should be the first one out there asking people to volunteer.

If you want your team to show appreciation, then you should say “thank you” more than anyone else.

If you want your team to be passionate about the ministry vision, then you must be passionate about the vision.

If you want your team to be balanced by attending adult worship, then they must see you attending adult worship.

If you want your team to go the second mile, then you must first go the second mile yourself.

If you want your team to follow up with guests, then you should be the first one calling guests.

If you want your team to be part of a small group, then you should lead a small group.

If you want your team to be givers, then you must first be a giver.

If you want your team to personally connect with parents, then they must first see you connecting with parents.

Effective leaders know that their team looks to them for inspiration and guidance. And so, they first and foremost lead with their own actions. They show the way by leading the way.

Talk will only take you so far as a leader. Walking the talk is what enables you to lead effectively. When you do this, your team will follow you anywhere.

Do you think Maximus’ soldiers would have fought so hard for him if he had sent them into battle and not went with them into battle? Probably not.

When you lead by example, it builds trust. And trust is what enables a leader to lead effectively.

Think about it with me…

If you ask a team member to do something, make sure you’re willing to do it yourself as well.

If you have guidelines you’ve ask the team to follow, make sure you are following them.

Make sure your attitude and behaviors are an example of the attitude and behavior you want to see in your team.

If you ask people to stay and work extra hours, set the example by staying late with them.

With leadership comes the responsibility to set a good example. Be committed to “stay with me” leadership and you’ll see your team follow you for the distance.

Do you want to take your leadership to a new level this year? Join the Advance Children’s Ministry Coaching program. It’s a six-month program that will help you become a better leader. We still have a few openings, but you must register now to be part of it. You can get more information at this link.

This article originally appeared here.

Why and How Multicultural Leadership Strengthens You, Your Team and the Faith

Ed Stetzer

December 31, 2017

It was just one year ago when I came on as executive director of the Billy Graham Center at Wheaton College. In that time, we’ve hired six new staff here. Three are from different racial and ethnic backgrounds than I am and an additional two are women.

And diversity is something I’ve intentionally sought out, and one which I believe is greatly beneficial to both us and the mission Jesus has called us to carry out.

As church and organizational leaders, diversity among our staff, and even more so in our leadership team, has the opportunity to transform our churches and ministries. This is not to say it’s easy. When people from different cultures come together, it takes time to learn how to work together. For example, see my staff respond in disagreement via this series here. (See my article, then John Richards’ response, and then Michael Lee’s response, and then my response to everyone in the conversation.)

It takes work, but it’s worth it. Let me share three reasons I believe this is the case, and then share a few challenges you may face as you intentionally seek diversity.

Having diverse leadership, first, gives us the opportunity to experience more of what we will experience in eternity.

In eternity, we know that there will be men and women from every tongue, tribe and nation (see Rev. 7:9). Yet the church here tends to be divided. Too often, we seek to surround ourselves with those like us. This only reinforces silos which Christ desires to be torn down. We are all one in Christ. Martin Luther King once said that Sunday morning was the most segregated time of the week. The longer we prolong this segregation, the more we delay the benefits of worshipping with others and working together for His glory.

Second, having diverse leadership helps us to reflect eternity well here.

The church is supposed to be the visible representation of the invisible kingdom. If it doesn’t have the diversity of leadership that we would expect in something that is a reflection of the Kingdom of Heaven, then those outside the church may find other places to turn. Our diversity is an outward expression of our desire to see people from all backgrounds come into our churches! Seeking multicultural leadership is one way to display our commitment to reach our world—our whole world, not just those like us—for Jesus.

Third, having diverse leadership requires us to take the time to learn about others.

We learn the differences in cultures, contexts and people. In doing so, we are able to act like Jesus. We are able to be people of service, people of the towel. Jesus took up a towel and washed His disciples’ feet. In a sense, as we learn from others and their cultures, we humble ourselves and our cultures. Likely, we will find that we actually appreciate many differences and begin to integrate those into the very fabric of our churches!

Challenges

With all the opportunities that come with having diversity in our leadership, we’d be naïve not to think there were some challenges as well. Let me share at least two challenges.

First, the reality is that if we are going to be in a multicultural church, things are going to go more slowly.

Homogenous units tend to grow more quickly because people know each other and they invite their friends. Your church is more likely to grow slowly as you include diversity in your leadership. You will need to take the time to get to know one another. Some cultures tend to lead more directly, others more indirectly. Some tend to push hard to get things done, others are more thoughtful and contemplative.

Second, it can be harder for non-Christians who are not accustomed to crossing social and cultural barriers to find a way to quickly connect.

Integrating different cultures into leadership can lead to an amazing representation of the true Body of Christ if done well. But if done haphazardly and too quickly, it can create a feeling of chaos within the church, especially for those who are new to the church. As we integrate diversity in our churches, we must do so strategically and with the big picture in mind. For instance, how does including X into our culture benefit us? What challenges will it create? As we grow in diversity, we must do so with not only our congregations in mind, but also those we are trying to reach. They must be a core audience for us.

Developing a leadership team that is diverse racially and ethnically requires hard work. It must not be done for the sake of being done, but instead with the mission of God in mind. If you’ve got the right people on your team, anything is possible. I encourage you to take the risk. Both you and the church you lead will be better for it.

This article originally appeared here.

Using That New Technology Gift for God’s Glory

Jesse T. Jackson

December 31, 2017

Some of you got some new technology toys for Christmas this year, or maybe you gave some to your children. Regardless of which it might have been, no one has to tell you that with technology comes great responsibility. These devices, whether they are smartphones, tablets, smartwatches, or computers, can be used for the advancement of God’s kingdom, or simple joy to a child playing a game.

Here are few articles that we gathered to help you get a jump start using your new devices, and if you are a parent or grandparent, there are some “must reads” in this list for your children.

For Parents:

Not Just SnapChat: 6 More Dangerous Apps Parents Need to Know About

Jenny Rapson, the editor of ForEveryMom.com explains how these six super-popular apps can be very risky and dangerous for your children to use. You may or may not have heard of apps like BeeTalk, Whisper, or Flinch, but they could spell big trouble for your kids. (Read here)

7 Tips for Parents of Teens in a Technology-Crazed World

Lead Pastor (and parent of a teenage daughter) Brandon Cox provides what he describes as a bit of a SWOT analysis on the current cultural conundrum of our technology-crazed world. (Read here)

Tech & Teens: A Parent’s Guide

Student Minister Michael Guyer gives a concise guide for parents of children in our digital age. The thesis of his article states, “We must help our teenagers to see and use technology as their servant rather than their master.” (Read here)

Why My Kids Won’t Be Using Facebook’s Messenger Kids App

Jenny Rapson provides insight why Facebook’s Messenger Kids App might be too much of a security risk for your children. In her post, she writes, “One parent reviewer on Common Sense Media says, ‘As a teacher and parent, read the TOS [terms of service]. The collection of data is definitely problematic and I would not recommend using this at all. Way too much data to collect…’” (Read here)

These YouTube Channels are Maliciously Targeting Young Children with Terrifying Content

It’s a disturbing reality that not even content for children has not escaped the malicious grasp of those who want to ruin digital content for everyone. (Read here)

For Church Leaders:

20 Great Tools and Apps for Pastors

Pastor Brandon Kelley gives 20 great tools and apps that every pastor can use for sermon preparation, team management, productivity, social media, and personal growth. (Read here)

How Christian Parents Can Use Social Media

Jonathan Smith is the director of Technology at Faith Ministries. He gives great insight into how the church “can take their knowledge of social media and use it to help parents help their kids become more like Christ.” (Read here)

Preach From Your iPad, but Be Careful

Pastor Brandon Hilgemann provides some practical tips for using your iPad while preaching. These are great helpful and simple practices every preacher using an iPad during their sermon should consider. (Read here)

Turning Your iPad Into an Intercessory Prayer List

Dr. Ronnie Floyd writes how he turned the Notes app into an intercessory prayer list. It’s very simple to use and it can sync with your phone as well, providing the information you need wherever you are, no matter the device you are on. Dr. Floyd says, “In the past, a challenge of using a prayer list has been keeping it current and relevant. With the Notes app, I can easily keep my list current. I can add to my list upon hearing a need, wherever I happen to be at the time. A current, relevant prayer list increases the usability of such a list.” (Read here)

Technology can be used for the glory of God but remember just like many other things, if not used properly it can be extremely dangerous. Safeguards, especially accountability with your spouse, and brothers and sisters in Christ is a must if you decide to use any form of technology. Peter tells us to “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” The internet is one of the most dangerous places the devil prowls, disguising himself as an angel of light, be on guard at all times.

Let’s redeem technology well and be part of advancing the Kingdom of God.

Grit Over Genius: How to Make a Great 2018

Dan Reiland

December 29, 2017

There is something universally exciting about a new year.

Hopes and dreams, a clean slate, taking new territory, and big plans are greatly anticipated.

New Year’s resolutions and wishful thinking rarely help you achieve what you desire. Realizing the 2018 you dream about requires preparation, discipline and focus.

You will encounter setbacks, speedbumps and surprises you didn’t see coming. But the size and clarity of your vision for the year will help provide the grit you need to keep going.

There is a direct correlation between your purpose, plan and preparation, and the year you will actually experience. Execution without preparation is just busyness.

When you include significant amounts of prayer, you are setting yourself up for a great year.

A Seven-Point Game Plan to Set You Up for a Great 2018:

1) Restore key relationships

Restoration is one of the great themes of Scripture. It’s a primary responsibility for all Christ followers. On a practical level, it’s nearly impossible to function at your peak potential if you are distracted by broken, hurting or dysfunctional relationships.

From the proverbial elephant in the room at work to a significant family breakdown, do whatever it takes to restore any relationship that is core in your life. From your boss to your spouse, make it right.

2) Forgive those who have hurt you

Jesus modeled forgiveness for us. It’s not always easy, but it’s not an option. You may or may not be in a key relationship with someone you need to forgive, but either way, forgiving those who have hurt or wronged you is essential.

Lack of forgiveness is like a cancer that eats at you from the inside. It’s often unseen, but the results can be devastating if not dealt with.

Forgiving someone doesn’t always happen fast, but it always begins in a moment. I’ve counseled with many people who say, “I just can’t quite get there.” That is understandable, but you can start.

Forgiving is a decision that is made in your mind and is connected to how you feel. God will then give you the grace to complete the process.

3) Evaluate your results from 2017

Set aside a minimum of one hour. Have your calendar handy. Write clear notes on your major accomplishments and major mistakes or failures.

Think through what caused the successes and what caused the breakdowns.

What did you learn?
How did you grow?
What will you do differently?

This doesn’t have to be a super long “dissertation” kind of arduous process, but it does need to be an honest process. My experience is that this piece can be done in less than two hours.

8 Reasons Why I Choose to Be a Friend to My Pastor

Chuck Lawless

December 29, 2017

I’m excited to be a part of our church in Wake Forest, Restoration Church, and I love my pastor. I’m proud of him and enjoy working beside him. I’m also honored to carry some of his burdens for him. Here’s why all of us need to be a friend to our pastors.

They carry a heavy burden. They’re responsible for caring for our souls (Heb. 13:17), and it’s hard to find a weightier responsibility. I feel it as part of a pastoral staff, and I remember it well when I served as a senior pastor.
They have to balance a lot of stuff. Even the best pastoral time managers face the reality that life sometimes gets in the way of a schedule. Not getting stuff done, though, is usually not an option for a pastor.
They’re responsible for proclaiming God’s Word to us each week. That means they have to spend time with God and His Word, let that Word work them over personally, and then bring the Word to us in a clear and passionate way. That’s heavy.
They sometimes bear burdens alone. Their calling sometimes demands that be the case. My pastor doesn’t tell me all he carries, but that doesn’t matter to me—I simply hope that my friendship with him brings him some joy in tough times.
They’re sometimes lonely. I know, because I’ve been there. Pastors are sometimes placed on so many pedestals that few people remember they’re just human beings who need friends.
They appreciate encouragement. My schedule doesn’t always allow me to just hang out with my pastor. I can always, though, send him an email or text of encouragement from wherever I am in the world.
They need prayer support. All of us have the privilege to pray for the pastors who lead us, and each of us can make that happen. True friendship is sometimes expressed from our knees in our prayer closet.
They can be fun. One of the things I most love to do is laugh with my pastor. I know when he’s laughing, he’s enjoying what he’s doing. And, because he’s fun, I’d be missing out if he weren’t my friend.

What are your thoughts about this topic?

This article originally appeared here.

Top Things From 2017 You Need to Know Now

Christine Yount Jones

December 29, 2017

Life’s busy. Especially when you’re a church leader. To help you out, we scanned the top trends of 2017 to give you this listicle of what you need to know for 2017 and 2018.

What You Need to Know

There are a lot of things we can tell you about that happened in 2017. These are the most important for you to know as a church leader.

What You Need to Know About Culture in 2017

If it’s true that we put our money where our mouth is, then this report from Thenumbers.com will help you see how your favorite movies fared in 2017. There were over 700 movies that sold 1,197,554,799 tickets and grossed over $10 billion! Want to know the movies coming in 2018, here’s a calendar with the latest.

Who doesn’t love a good Ted Talk? Check out ted.com’s list of the top-14 Ted Talks in 2017. Megan Phelps-Roper describes life in Westboro Baptist Church, Tim Ferriss on why you should define your fears instead of your goals, Anjan Chatterjee on how your brain decides what’s beautiful…and much more here.

A new word added to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary this year is binge-watch. And these are Netflix’s top-10 binged shows in 2017. No, you don’t have to watch them but it’s a good idea to know what people are talking about when they mention dressing like 11 for Halloween. For more about the over 1,000 new words, read here.

And the words people googled en masse tell us much about what’s on their hearts and minds. Find out the top googled words here.

What You Need to Know About Technology in 2017

For the technophile, check out Time magazine’s top-10 gadgets that no respectable techno geek can be without. To learn more about gadgets you never even knew you needed, read more here.

The 10 most significant scientific discoveries of the year include editing a human embryo and a synthetic device to imitate a woman’s uterus.

And medical discoveries abounded in 2017. Read the Prevention.com list here and the Reader’s Digest list here.

What You Need to Know About Ministry in 2017

When you’re curious about what makes churches grow, check out Outreach Magazine’s top-100 list for insights into the fastest growing churches in America.

And while you’re at it, read the top-12 read articles on churchleaders.com to see what intrigued your peers and gave them ideas for more effective ministry.

Get in touch with what matters to the people you’re trying to reach with this list of demographic trends that affect them from Pew Research.

What You Need to Know About News in 2017

In case you missed it, here were the top-10 news stories in 2017. It was a stormy year! The weather outside was frightful and the boogey-man in Korea was blustery.

And news on the tech front features everything from Facebook to bitcoins. Read more here.

We all know a picture says a thousand words, but what about a political cartoon? These are USAToday’s top 10.

What to Read if You Haven’t Yet

Here are just a few lists of the top books in 2017 from various sources.

CNBC: The 13 Best Business Books

Strategy-Business.com’s Top 3 Business Books

Desiringgod.org’s Top 17 Books of 2017

Thegospelcoalition’s best books from Kevin Deyoung

What You Need to Know About 2018

Getting ready for the coming year, check out…

The top-10 Social-Media Trends to Prepare for in 2018 from Entrepreneur.com.

And it looks like it’s going to be “more of the same” with the public agenda, according to a report from The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research.

Here’s to an amazing 2018! We at churchleaders.com are rooting for you and praying this will be a year that you experience God’s presence and blessings in everything.

10 Christians Dead in Egypt After Yet Another Church Attack

Bob Ditmer

December 29, 2017

At least 10 are dead after yet another church attack on Coptic Christians in Egypt.

There were two attacks in the Helwan area south of Cairo. In the first, gunmen tried to storm the Coptic Orthodox Church of Mar Mina but were intercepted by police.

About an hour later, a Coptic-owned shop in the same area was attacked, leaving two dead.

The first attack appears to have taken place when police patrolling the Mar Mina church noticed two men behaving suspiciously, reports the BBC’s Radwa Gamal in Cairo.

They approached the men, who began firing.

The attack comes amid tightened security around churches and Christian facilities ahead of the Coptic Orthodox Christian celebrations of Christmas on January 7. Police have been stationed outside churches and in nearby streets across Cairo. President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi has personally chaired meetings with his top security chiefs in recent days to discuss security during New Year’s Eve and the Orthodox Christmas.

More than 100 Christians have been killed in Egypt in the past year—most attacks claimed by the local branch of the so-called Islamic State group.

These are just the latest attacks in what has been a bloody year for Coptic Christians in Egypt this year. Several of the attacks were carried out by ISIS and its affiliates.

In May, gunmen killed at least 28 Coptic Christians aboard a bus traveling along a desert road on the way to a monastery.

On Palm Sunday, 49 people were killed in bombings at two churches in Tanta and Alexandria. ISIS claimed responsibility for the attacks, though it offered no proof of its connections to it.

Earlier in the week, the Islamic State terror group called on its supporters around the world to carry out New Year’s Eve attacks on churches and other public places, demanding violence regardless if children are present or not.

Christians, who make up about 10 percent of Egypt’s population, have long complained of discrimination in the Muslim-majority nation, and say authorities have often failed to protect them from sectarian attacks.

Fox News reports that just last week, hundreds of Muslim demonstrators stormed an unlicensed church south of Cairo wounding three people. The demonstrators shouted anti-Christian slogans and called for the church’s demolition, the diocese in the area said at the time. The demonstrators destroyed the church’s contents and assaulted Christians inside before security personnel arrived and dispersed them.

Healthy Church Growth: Programs vs. Path

Tony Morgan

December 28, 2017

I’ve observed something interesting in healthy, growing churches over the last several years.

The ones experiencing the most healthy growth tend to approach discipleship as a path. The leaders spend time thinking on how to best help people along in their journey following Christ. They spend their energy simplifying to offer people a series of next steps.

By contrast, many of the churches I see that are in decline have an overwhelming number of programs available to attendees and even the community, but no cohesive path that helps people learn which steps to take and when.

I drew this illustration and shared it on my blog a couple of years ago:

As you might imagine, there are several key differences between both types of churches:

1. How They Define “The Win”

Over-programmed churches see the win as getting more people involved in more activities. They wouldn’t say that, but it’s how they operate.

Ask any staff member about the momentum or success they are seeing in ministry, and you will almost always hear reports of how many people attended their last event, class or study.

Churches with a path see the win as helping more people take a next step. That common understanding unifies staff and simplifies decision making. If there’s no way to measure whether or not it helps people take a next step, they’re probably not going to do it.

2. How They Decide What Gets Communicated

Over-programmed churches communicate everything. There’s competition among ministry leaders for people’s attention, and they often complain about lack of communications support for their area. The communications director is frustrated because there can be no strategy when everything is communicated all of the time.

Churches with a path communicate one thing. They help people take one step at a time. Communications is clear.

3. How They Structure the Team

Over-programmed churches staff and structure their team around all of their programs. This naturally creates ministry silos and turf wars.

And, as I’m sure you can guess, churches with a path staff and structure their team around the path. This fosters collaboration as all staff are focused on helping people take their next step.

4. How They Engage Volunteers

More programs mean more demand for volunteers. Over-programmed churches often feel like they don’t have enough volunteers, even when they have a high percentage of people engaged. They spread the pool of people they have too thin.

More focus means there’s less competition for volunteers and more freedom for people to serve based on their gifts and strengths, rather than just filling positions for an ever-growing list of needs.

6 Requirements for Cultivating Community in a Church

Rick Warren

December 28, 2017

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind… Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Luke 10:27 (NCV)

Cultivating community requires commitment
If you’re tired of fake fellowship and you would like to cultivate real fellowship and a loving community in your small group, Sunday school class and church, you’ll need to make some tough choices and take some risks.

Cultivating community takes honesty
Real fellowship depends on frankness. In fact, the tunnel of conflict is the passageway to intimacy in any relationship. Until you care enough to confront and resolve the underlying barriers, you will never grow close to each other.

Cultivating community takes humility
Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less. Humility is thinking more of others. Humble people are so focused on serving others, they don’t think of themselves.

Cultivating community takes courtesy
The truth is, we all have quirks and annoying traits. But community has nothing to do with compatibility. The basis for our fellowship is our relationship to God: we are family.

Cultivating community takes confidentiality.
Only in the safe environment of warm acceptance and trusted confidentiality will people open up and share their deepest hurts, needs and mistakes.

Confidentiality does not mean keeping silent while your brother or sister sins. It means that what is shared in your group needs to stay in your group, and the group needs to deal with it, not gossip to others about it.

Cultivating community takes frequency.
You must have frequent, regular contact with your group in order to build genuine fellowship. Relationships take time.

When you look at the list of characteristics, isn’t it obvious why genuine fellowship is so rare?

But the benefits of sharing life together far outweigh the costs, and it prepares us for heaven.

This article originally appeared here.

Answering the Top Questions From Today’s Parents, Part 3

Jonathan McKee

December 28, 2017

How do I regulate screen time with a high functioning autistic kid?

When your kids push you away and go silent, how do you reconnect?

Is there a way to receive your kids’ texts directly on your device?

These are just a few of the countless questions I just received from parents…and for three days I’ve been answering them in this blog. Each day I’m narrowing it down to the top 10.

Here are the final 10 answers to the last 10 questions…

QUESTIONS FROM TODAY’S PARENTS, PART II

1. What suggestions do you have about young people creating their online identity? For ex: professionals are told to have LinkedIn with followers because we have to network. As adults, we have a social media presence or we are considered odd. How do we guide them in understanding their online identity?

I think here’s a perfect opportunity to teach our kids truth and see how that truth seeps into the other areas of their lives like “online identity.” In other words, the more we teach our kids who they are “in Christ” (II Cor 5:17) and their mission of “we don’t preach ourselves, we preach Christ the Lord” (II Cor 4:5), the more they’ll know how to live this out in every area of their lives, including online.

For Further Reading: The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices, Chapter 8: Take more “Selflessies”, Chapter 9: Like Me

2. How do you defend “right” to check text with the argument that you are invading their privacy?

I wrote about this very subject a few year’s back because it was a huge issue with my daughter, but as you’ll notice, I didn’t post any answers in that article, I just left it open for comments (quite a discussion in that comment section).

Bottom line: I think we need to consider THE SEGUE.

THE SEGUE is a principle I spend an entire chapter on in my book If I Had a Parenting Do Over, I discuss it in Lesson 5 of our free parenting curriculum of the same title, and it’s a principal that Andy Stanley shared that he uses with his kids. It’s the principle of starting strict and then lightening up as our kids grow toward adulthood. In fact, I even recommend letting your kids have NO RULES their senior year. So my 12-year-old is going to have to get used to me looking at her texts. But my 17-year-old won’t. Conversation is a must at both ages, but it’s silly to squeeze tight boundaries on a kid who is going to be leaving the house in five months. This is where our conversations with them have much more impact that rules.

For Further Reading: If I Had a Parenting Do Over, Chapter 5: The Segue

3. How do we handle disturbing behavior by our kid’s friends? Do we stay out of it? Or do we engage the school or parents?

My two cents is that you have plenty of conversations with your own kids about who they hang out with—even stepping in and saying, “Sorry, you’re not going to Jackson’s house,” if need be. Again, more boundaries when young…less when older. But I wouldn’t contact other parents unless their kids were hurting themselves or others. I would talk with the kid directly with humility and grace.

4. Do you have advice for a single mother with little resources and no father figure? I have two teenage boys who I feel like I can’t control.

My advice to you would be the same that I’ve been giving every parent—a balance of bonding and boundaries. But in addition, I would really seek out environments that provide good male role models—churches, youth groups, sports teams, schools with positive male teachers. Those male influences can have an amazing impact in their lives. Embrace that.

Sticky Faith did some amazing research on the power of mentors (I highlight some of that in this article about teens’ need for mentors), and they really emphasize the more mentors the better. In fact, they recommend five or more. So start thinking through what that might look like in your boy’s lives: mom, grandpa, coach, youth pastor, small group leader, best friend’s dad, etc. The old adage “It takes a village” is proving more true than ever before.

5. Is there any reason to keep some discussions with your kids about apps, social media failures, etc. private from your spouse?

Nope. Parents should be on the same page.

5 Ways the Children’s Ministry Leader Can Connect Well With Church Leadership

Greg Baird

December 28, 2017

The Children’s Ministry Leader can sometimes find themselves in difficult circumstances. Let’s be real—Children’s Ministry is not always viewed in the highest esteem by church leadership. Oftentimes it’s viewed—implicitly or explicitly—as childcare. Because of this, and because of the way I’ve seen Children’s Ministry Leaders act before church leadership, sometimes our communication comes across like the guy in the cartoon to the right—“blah, blah, blah.” Completely ineffective and, frankly, never even heard or recognized.

The Children’s Ministry Leader carries themselves and communicates can make a big difference, gaining influence with church leaders on behalf of the Children’s Ministry.

Here are a few practices I’ve learned that help the Children’s Ministry Leader connect well with church leadership in order to begin changing the environment when it comes to Children’s Ministry:

Carry yourself with “leadership presence”

My first full-time ministry role was as Children’s Pastor for none other than John Maxwell. Yes, that John Maxwell, guru of leadership. Can I tell you that I cringe as I remember how I acted when I was initially around him? I’m sure my natural shyness and complete lack of understanding of leadership at the time came forth in every conversation. I’m not sure how I lasted there, but my hunch is that as I intentionally tried to implement his teaching on leadership, I was able to begin carrying myself as a leader.

What does that mean?

It means contributing to the leadership conversation.
It means speaking with confidence. It means engaging with other leaders around you.
It means coming to the table with ideas. It means asking questions and proactively seeking solutions.
It means intentionally aligning your own leadership with the leadership you follow.

Be real and expect them to be real

Trying to be someone you are not is a relationship killer. Be respectful, but be real with your leadership. Of course, as you start out you are learning the natural boundaries, but ultimately you are you, so be you. Relax, enjoy the development of the relationship, seek to understand them and realize that they are human, just like you are.

“But they keep things on a very surface level,” you say. I understand. That doesn’t mean that you have to. And, while you may never go very deep in your relationship, don’t assume that you can’t and never try by not being real with them. Expect “real” on both sides until it’s proven otherwise.

Do your job…and do it well

One of the best things you can do to enhance your connection with your leadership team is to simply do your job well. As you lead well, your credibility across the board (including with church leadership) will increase. This enhances communication and connection as you have opportunity to engage with them.

Communicate effectively

Here are just a few things I’ve learned about communicating with leadership (in a church or any other organization):

Be succinct. In most cases, leadership is very busy. Depending on how much they value your area and your role, you may or may not get a lot of time with them. In one church, I had four face-to-face meetings with the Senior Pastor…in four years. You better believe I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about and how I wanted to say it—succinctly!
Be positive. Frankly, church leadership doesn’t want to know that you can’t find enough volunteers! You may need to present challenges to leadership, but always frame it positively. Do not dump on them!
Communicate with stories. Facts and figures are fine, but they don’t energize or communicate vision. Stories do. So instead of telling them how many kids made decisions at VBS, tell them a story of one or two and drop in the total number within that story. Instead of telling them you had so many kids respond for baptism, tell them a heartfelt story of one. Instead of telling them you need to develop an equipping ministry for parents, tell them a story that illustrates why.

Bring solutions, not problems

This follows closely with communicating effectively and being positive. In reality, church leadership don’t have time for most of the problems you are facing, nor should they feel responsible for them. That’s your job! So instead of bringing the problem to them seeking a solution, solve the problem and let them know how you did so. Believe me, if they think it should go in a different direction, they will let you know. And, if it’s a problem you feel they must weigh in on before you move forward, bring several possible options (solutions) to them rather than just stating the problem.

Connecting with church leadership is vital to the success of your ministry. You can’t do it alone, and the greater the connection, the greater the support. The greater the support, the greater the possibilities of succeeding in so many areas you are trying to grow your ministry.

How have you connected with church leaders?

This article originally appeared here.

The One Sure Mark of Christian Maturity

Tim Challies

December 28, 2017

I suppose we all know that as Christians we are meant to grow up, to mature. We begin as infants in the faith and need to develop into adults. The New Testament writers insist that we must all make this transition from milk to meat, from the children’s table to the grown-up’s feast. And yet even though we are aware that we must go through this maturing process, many of us are prone to measure maturity in the wrong ways. We are easily fooled. This is especially true, I think, in a tradition like the Reformed one, which (rightly) places a heavy emphasis on learning and on the facts of the faith.

The Bible is the means God uses to complete us, to finish us, to bring us to maturity.

When Paul writes to Timothy, he talks to him about the nature and purpose of the Bible and says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). That word complete is related to maturity. Paul says that Timothy, and by extension me and you and all of us, is incomplete, unfinished and immature. The Bible is the means God uses to complete us, to finish us, to bring us to maturity.

But what does it mean to be a mature Christian? I think we tend to believe that mature Christians are the ones who know a lot of facts about the Bible. Mature Christians are the ones who have their theology down cold. But look what Paul says: “That the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” Paul does not say, “That the man of God may be complete, knowing the books of the Bible in reverse order,” or “That the man of God may be complete, able to explain and define supralapsarianism against infralapsarianism.” He does not say, “That the man of God may be complete, able to provide a structural outline of each of Paul’s epistles.” Those are all good things, but they are not Paul’s emphasis. They may be signs of maturity, but they may also be masks that cover up immaturity.

When Paul talks about completion and maturity, he points to actions, to deeds, to “every good work.” The Bible has the power to mature us, and as we commit ourselves to reading, understanding and obeying it, we necessarily grow up in the faith. That maturity is displayed in the good works we do more than in the knowledge we recite. And this is exactly what God wants for us—he wants us to be mature and maturing doers of good who delight to do good for others. This emphasis on good deeds is a significant theme in the New Testament (see Ephesians 2:10, Titus 2:14, etc) and the very reason why God saved us.

Dear Millennials, This Is Why You Need the Church

Bob Ditmer

December 28, 2017

Do you think you don’t need the church? Do you consider yourself a lone wolf? You might want to think again.

Church attendance in America is declining. Recent surveys claim 38 percent of Americans are churchgoers but only half that number actually find their way to church on any given Sunday. When you look at younger Americans in particular, the news is even more depressing. Sadly, only 28% of younger Americans between 23 and 37 attend church.

There are plenty of reasons why millennials are leaving the church but one that this video concentrates on is a feeling that the church isn’t needed anymore. If they want to hear messages that convict or encourage them there are thousands available on YouTube and via podcasts that they can listen to while sitting on the couch in their sweatpants.

But the video points out those recorded sermons can’t replace the community that is needed when difficult times come.

The video uses wolves to tell that story. Wolves need a pack to take down larger animals in the winter when smaller prey are in hibernation. A lone wolf is no match for an elk. Without the help of others, the lone wolf will starve and die.

Using winter as a euphemism for the struggles in life that visit everyone at some point, like health problems or the loss of a job, the video likens the church to a wolf pack. Fellow Christians will help you survive the tough times.

Heidi Charalambous of NewSpring finds four reasons Christians need church.

We need other Christians. If you want to know what you believe, listen to what your friends say. The more time we spend around people who ridicule God, the more we allow their attitudes to affect our thoughts and attitudes (Psalm 1:1-2). The more time we spend with God’s people and in His presence, the more like Jesus we become. That’s why the writer of Hebrews encouraged Christians at that time not to give up meeting together. If we want to hold unswervingly to our faith, we need to surround ourselves with people who will encourage us to follow Jesus even when it’s hard, to have faith when everything seems hopeless, and to rely on Jesus even when we think we can do everything on our own (Hebrews 10:23-25).
We need opportunities to discover our spiritual gifts. Every one us has a skill God wants to use to help others know Him and follow Him. The Bible calls these skills spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12), and we discover our spiritual gifts the same way we discover any other kind of special talent. Kobe Bryant realized he was great at basketball when he started playing basketball. Katy Perry discovered she could could sing when she started singing. We will never uncover what God has equipped and called us to do if we don’t get involved.
We need authority. We don’t have to believe anything anyone tells us about God. He appointed men and women in the church to lead us and to teach us (Hebrews 13:17). God gave us the Bible and the church so we can know what’s from Him. Through the church’s authority structure, we can test and see what’s of God and what isn’t when we can’t tell on our own. When we’ve prayed, read the Bible and still aren’t sure what to do, the church is where we go for advice.
We never stop needing grace. Church people are not perfect people. We are forgiven, but we are still sinners. No matter how long we’ve been following Jesus, we are going to screw up, fall short and sin. And when we do, we need a place where we can come to be healed, restored and renewed. That place is the church. The sunroof in my little red Galant ruined me. I can’t imagine owning a car without a sunroof ever again. The same is true when it comes to church. As I made friends, joined a group and started serving, God changed me. I woke up one day and realized I couldn’t imagine not being involved in church. Church is no longer just nice; it’s necessary.

The 12 Most Read Articles for ChurchLeaders in 2017

Bob Ditmer

December 28, 2017

The 12 most viewed articles on churchleaders.com for 2017 can tell you a lot about those leading the church. Whether it’s tips on building a great marriage, how to perform a soul-check, celebrating a moment when Jesus was honored in culture, or grieving with a sister in Christ, these headlines point to the church striving to be the church.

# 1 Simone Biles Steals the Show

Simone Biles’ Dance to ‘Good, Good Father’ Is Incredibly Personal and God-Focused
The gymnast who picked up five medals at the Olympic games in Rio entered the world of dance competition on Dancing With the Stars. On April 10, 2017, Biles pulled the competition into the spiritual realm, moving the audience to tears with her deeply personal rendition of a dance set to “Good, Good Father” by Chris Tomlin.

# 2 Everyone Wants to Know How to Divorce-Proof Their Marriage

12 Habits That Lead to Divorce
There are 876,000 divorces every year in America. One way to stem the tide of broken marriages is by identifying traits early on that lead to divorce. Taken individually these habits don’t seem like they could end a marriage, but they create a slippery slope that too often leads to the dissolution of a marriage.

#3 The Hashtag Heard Round the World

The Hashtag #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear Is Blowing Up Twitter and Pointing Out Misogyny in the Church
Christian author Sarah Bessey started a discussion about the role of women in the church with a social media hashtag that quickly elicited thousands of responses. Bessey believes women’s talents have been ignored in the church and looks forward to the day when “they will be celebrated as Deborah instead of silenced as Jezebel.”

#4 Joel Osteen Stirs Controversy—Again

What’s the Problem With Joel Osteen?
A pastor writes about the criticism he received for promoting a Joel Osteen event. He describes the complaints directed at Osteen and offers his reason for still supporting the controversial evangelist. He asks Christians to stop tearing down ministers whose methods they don’t understand.

#5 Sad News From Proverbs 31 Ministries

President of Proverbs 31, Lysa TerKeurst, Ends Her Marriage of 25 Years Due to Infidelity and Substance Abuse
The author whose Bible studies asked women to find contentment in God and fight for their marriages explains why she ended her own marriage. TerKeurst asks for prayer for her and her family in helping her endure the ordeal.

#6 If Missionaries Spoke Freely

Ten Things That Your Missionary Will Not Tell You
A missionary shares some of the most difficult aspects of presenting the Gospel to another culture. The challenges include loneliness, poverty and concern for the future well-being of their children. The article is a reminder of the great sacrifice of being a missionary of the Gospel.

#7 Francis Chan Has Some Surprising Words for Facebook Employees

Francis Chan to Facebook Employees: Why I Asked God to Make Me Rich and Why I Left My Megachurch
The popular pastor talks to Facebook workers about Christianity, the difficulty of remaining humble when you are considered a celebrity preacher and why he would leave a megachurch behind to create small churches.

#8 Ravi Zacharias Talks About Suicide

Ravi Zacharias: Does Suicide Send You to Hell?
As a teenager, the popular apologist and evangelist tried to kill himself in the midst of family and academic struggles. His personal story gives a unique perspective into the spiritual implications of ending your life.

#9 Soul Check

7 Signs You Are a Counterfeit Christian
No one wants to be something other than they claim to be. Unfortunately, many Christians are just that and many don’t even know it. Writer Frank Powell asks some hard questions of Christians wondering if they are the real deal or just fakes.

#10 Another Soul Check

What Are the Signs of an Emotionally Mature Christian?
Whether using this list as a self-assessment tool or as qualities for which to strive, author Pete Scazzero offers 11 indicators that your faith and your emotions are working in harmony to make you more Christ-like.

#11 How to: Have a Blast With Children

17 Just for Fun Games for Church or Home
These are suggestions for making the most of a small gathering of children or a night at home with the family. The BALLOON/PLUNGER RELAY GAME and BLOOMER BASKETBALL are just a couple that are fun and exciting.

#12 If Jesus Wrote an Open Letter to the Gay Community

5 Things Jesus Says to the Gay Community
Using scripture as a guide, NewSpring Church presents five messages it believes Jesus would give to homosexuals. Each of the five present Jesus as understanding, forgiving and expecting his children to follow his example.

5 Ways Your Parking Lot Might Be Holding Back the Redemptive Potential of Your Church

Rich Birch

December 27, 2017

Believe it or not, your parking lot could be the thing that is holding back the potential of your church. In fact, your church might not be living up to its total calling because of what is happening at the parking lot. We call this site unSeminary. Today, we’re diving into an issue we can guarantee that no seminary has talked about anywhere before:

Your Parking Lot Might Be Limiting the Redemptive Potential of Your Church!

Cars have a profound impact on the manner in which we “do” church across the country. As the adoption of the car took off in the first half of last century, our approach to churches changed and morphed accordingly. The local parish gave way to the regional church which ended up paving the way for the entire mega-church movement, which became a fertile ground for the multisite movement. We would do well to understand the impact of cars and connecting our parking lots to our ministry because they are so connected to what we do. Here are a few ways that parking lots might be negatively impacting your ministry.

A Full Parking Lot Is Limiting Your Church

Obviously, most church leaders are inside their buildings when their services start. Your people might know that you have a problem and you’re never around to see it. Full parking lots are a great sign because that implies lots of people are attending your church. However, if they are “too full” like a packed auditorium, it can actually turn people off.

Most municipalities’ bylaws are inadequate to tackle the required parking spots per seat in the main auditorium. Lots of cities typically only require one spot for every four seats in your auditorium. (I know one city by us that only requires one for every 40!) My experience suggests that your church needs one spot for every two seats in your auditorium. Most legacy church buildings were not built with this much space and might get cramped every week.

If your parking lot is more than 70 percent full as your services are starting, it’s time to start looking for better parking solutions. You want your guests to be able to find a spot easily.

Four Tactics for Dealing With a Full Parking Lot:

Street Parking – Diving into your municipality’s parking bylaws might reveal that your area allows street parking on Sunday. In many regions, the rules pertaining to weekend street parking are different during the week. It’s worthwhile investing the time to figure out if this type of opportunity exists on the streets around your building.
Cross Use Agreements – Look around your immediate neighbors and find someone who you could borrow spots from. Oftentimes, other businesses and organizations will be open to you using their empty parking spots. However it’s much better to approach them and talk about it rather than just starting to use it.
Park Your Leaders Off Site – Those who volunteer and lead at your church should be encouraged (or even required) to park off your location. Cast vision with them around the idea of creating more space for visitors and ask them to do the extra walk.
Shuttle Buses – Churches facing a more acute parking problem might need to resort to off-site parking that isn’t adjacent to their property and might need to offer remote parking supported by shuttle buses. This approach should ideally be the “last stop” before you look at building more parking spaces. It can be a great solution and provide good service for families connecting with your church.

Do You Have a Healthy Leader’s Brain? (Quiz)

Charles Stone

December 27, 2017

God gave us an amazing three-pound part of our body called the brain. And today, the brain is big. Books about the brain are flying off the shelves. Neuroscientists are studying the brain like never before. And millions of dollars are being spent on research. So how can we keep a healthy leader’s brain? Dr. David Rock and Dr. Daniel Siegal combed years of research to assimilate what they call the “Healthy Mind Platter,” seven activities that help people, including leaders, maximize that three-pound wonder. I’ve put my own spin on their findings and listed those seven activities below that, when practiced, can help leaders maximize their effectiveness.

Leaders will keep their brains healthy when they make time for these activities. Both the Bible and brain science help us see their importance. Mentally check the ones you practice consistently.

I take time to focus.
- Brain science tells us that when we deeply focus (like when we plan or prepare a sermon), the brain makes deep connections.
- Jesus challenged the crowds to think deeply about the cost of discipleship (Luke 14,25-33).
I take time for fun.
- Having fun allows for novelty and spontaneity which helps the brain make new connections.
- Children were attracted to Jesus. Although we don’t have any direct biblical references, I believe children saw Jesus as someone both approachable and fun to be with.
I take time for family and friends.
- Neuroscientists are learning that the brain is a social organ and when we build relationships it deepens our relational brain circuitry.
- One of the hallmarks of Christianity is true community, spending time with others in deep relationships (Acts 4).
I take time to exercise.
- Brain research abounds about how exercise improves brain functioning.
- The Scriptures tell us that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit which implies we should take care of them. Exercise is one way to do that (1 Cor. 6.18-19).
I take time for stillness.
- Researchers have found that when we quiet our inner world through meditation, we are able to regulate our emotions better and think more clearly.
- Often Scripture tells us to be still before the Lord. When we reflect and meditate on Him and His Word, we not only draw close to him, but it keeps our brain healthy as well (Is 46.10).
I take time to simply chill (down time).
- When we allow our brains to be non-focused (mind wander or daydream) our creativity increases.
- I doubt that Jesus held a non-stop theology class with His disciples. I imagine that at times he simple chilled out with His disciples with no specific goal in mind, except to enjoy each other and enjoy God’s creation.
I take time for adequate sleep.
- When we sleep our memories deepen and our brain recovers from the day’s stress.
- I’m encouraged that when Jesus got tired, he slept, even in a storm (Mk 4.38).

How many of these practices do you consistently practice? Which one is toughest for you?

This article originally appeared here.

1. Make the preaching on Sunday a.m. a big deal.

Don’t Miss

2. Encourage (expect) members to do their own sermon prep.

Benefits of a Small Church

1. Benefits of a small church: We’d have far more successful churches.

2. Benefits of a small church: More pastors would get to use their gifts.

Pastor J.D.’s Picks

A Gospel Primer for Christians, Milton Vincent

Martin Luther: The Man Who Rediscovered God and Changed the World, Eric Metaxas

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, Greg McKeown

The City of God, Augustine

Challenges

For Parents:

For Church Leaders:

A Seven-Point Game Plan to Set You Up for a Great 2018:

1) Restore key relationships

2) Forgive those who have hurt you

3) Evaluate your results from 2017

What You Need to Know

What You Need to Know About Culture in 2017

What You Need to Know About Technology in 2017

What You Need to Know About Ministry in 2017

What You Need to Know About News in 2017

What to Read if You Haven’t Yet

What You Need to Know About 2018

1. How They Define “The Win”

2. How They Decide What Gets Communicated

3. How They Structure the Team

4. How They Engage Volunteers

Carry yourself with “leadership presence”

Be real and expect them to be real

Do your job…and do it well

Communicate effectively

Bring solutions, not problems

How have you connected with church leaders?

# 1 Simone Biles Steals the Show

# 2 Everyone Wants to Know How to Divorce-Proof Their Marriage

#3 The Hashtag Heard Round the World

#4 Joel Osteen Stirs Controversy—Again

#5 Sad News From Proverbs 31 Ministries

#6 If Missionaries Spoke Freely

#7 Francis Chan Has Some Surprising Words for Facebook Employees

#8 Ravi Zacharias Talks About Suicide

#9 Soul Check

#10 Another Soul Check

#11 How to: Have a Blast With Children

#12 If Jesus Wrote an Open Letter to the Gay Community

A Full Parking Lot Is Limiting Your Church

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