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Three Signs of True Friends

communicating with the unchurched

True friends (lifelong friends) are hard to find, mostly because over time people change, as do we. But when shared values, shared life experiences, and shared seasons meet, we look over and discover there is a friend waiting with whom we can often link arms.

This is one of the great perks of being a Christian. We don’t have to question (at least too much) the shared value we have in God and his Scripture. And this takes a lot of the mystery out of brotherhood. Yet we still have the obstacles of everyday life that prohibit friendship. Even so, there are friends that will stick with us through these changing seasons. There are those who will stick closer than a brother, simply because they care. And they frequently show they care in these ways.

True Friends care about our relationship with God first.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)

True friends have one spiritual priority, both for themselves and for us: God and his righteous way of life. Everything else is a radical second. While we may talk about politics, sports, and the latest issue at work, they have a mind for God. They care about how we think, how we discuss, how we respond, and even more, our attitude regarding all these things. They are concerned with matters of the heart and how to consistently keep our heart, character, and spirit aligned with God’s will.

True Friends love unconditionally, but also want us to change.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)

Without a doubt we need to be loved. Men don’t like to use this term but that is exactly what it is: love. Many times, this love will exceed that of a flesh and blood brother because it is less presumptive and more gracious. This is unconditional love with no strings attached. But this does not mean it accepts disobedience without a desire for change, for this would actually be unloving. We need brothers that lovingly accept us but also want a better future for us; and this demands change. This is true brotherly love.

True Friends to our aid when we need it.

And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus. (Luke 5:18-19)

Yep, this is pretty cool. This man had some friends and they all wanted the best for him. Their friendship was so strong they went overboard for him. They pushed through the crowds, dug through a roof, and lowered him carefully and strategically at the feet of Jesus. How about that for friendship?

I have read this story many times and asked myself, “Do I have friends like that?” Friends that will come to my aid at fourth-and-goal, even when it puts them out? We should all ask ourselves this question.

But there may be a far more important question to ask ourselves. Are you that type of friend? Are you a friend that cares about your brother’s relationship with God? Do you unconditionally love but want to see your brother change? Do you rush to your brother’s aid? If not, then be a friend today! You may discover along the road of life that simply by being a great friend, you will make great friends.

Just hear these words from our greatest friend, the friend of sinners: Jesus Christ:

Greater love has no one than this: that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

 

This article is an excerpt from Vince Miller’s book, 20 Lessons That Build a Man’s Friends.

Free Kids’ Lesson Package: “Experiments in Faith”

communicating with the unchurched

Free Kids’ Lesson Package

From CMD, “God created the heavens and the earth and everything in it. Pure science will always point us back to our loving Creator.”

This kids lesson package includes:

  • Make It Stick! Parent Sheet
  • Memory Verse
  • Skit
  • Object Lesson or Kids Sermon
  • Large Group Lesson
  • Small Group Discussion
  • Large Group Game


Get Download Now

Resource provided by Children’s Ministry Deals


Download Instructions: 
Follow the on-screen directions at the download site.

Is It Wrong to Question Your Pastor?

The brothers immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea, and when they arrived, they went into the Jewish synagogue. Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the Word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so. (Acts 17:10-11)

Why were the Bereans more noble than those in Thessalonica? Two reasons: 1) They received the Word with all eagerness. 2) They went back home and examined the Scriptures to see if what Paul and Silas preached lined up with the Word of God.

We should always receive God’s Word preached to us with all eagerness. We shouldn’t sit there, arms crossed with an “I dare you to try to teach me something” attitude. At the same time, that doesn’t mean we must accept everything a pastor says without question. We can be both eager to hear God’s word preached, yet at the same time be discerning.

It’s not wrong see if what a pastor preaches lines up with the Bible. A pulpit doesn’t make you infallible.

Some pastors give the impression that to question them is insubordination. Pastors aren’t a different breed of Christians, but sinners just like the people they preach to. I always try to discourage people from calling me “Pastor Mark” or “Reverend” (though I will accept “Your Highness” from my wife). I tell them “pastor” is just my job description. I say if you’re going to call me Pastor Mark, then I’m going to call you Carpenter Bob.

Years ago, a local church brought a “prophet” in for several weeks of meetings. Because some our members attended the meetings, I went to a couple. One night, this man “prophesied” to a young lady, “You are a key, and this town will sin no more.” The whole place erupted with applause and cheers. Except for me and the pastor with me. I thought, “Well, one thing’s certain-I’m in this town and I’m going to sin.”

This “prophet” said many other crazy things, like “Don’t let your doctrine get in the way of the Holy Spirit.” What? The Holy Spirit is the Author of doctrine! His listeners were eager to hear the Word preached, but most didn’t go home and examine the Scriptures to see if what he said was so.

We can question pastors’ actions, too.

There are qualifications for pastors in Scripture. They must lead their families, be husbands of one wife, be above reproach, and have good reputations. This means we can examine their lives. But even the best pastors sin, drop the ball, make mistakes, and make poor decisions at times. No pastor should ever say, “Who are you to question me?”

I’m thankful for the folks in our church who’ve come to us with questions or disagreements. Sometimes, they’ve been nervous. (How could anybody be nervous about coming to me? This is me – Mark – gentle, approachable, laid back Mark. I always calm down after screaming for 10 minutes – JUST KIDDING!)

Pastors should be glad when people come with questions, thoughts, or observations even if they have a poor attitude. Even when someone expresses themselves in anger, there’s probably something the pastor really needs to consider. There may be truth in what they’re saying even if it comes with extra baggage. We shouldn’t reject questions or criticism because someone doesn’t express themselves perfectly.

Help your pastor. Help him preach more accurately. Help him see how to lead and care for people better. Encourage him. And if you have questions, feel free to ask.

David Crowder’s “Come as You Are” Is One of the Most Powerful Evangelistic Songs of Our Generation

communicating with the unchurched

“Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal.”

Do you remember when you first put your trust in Christ? For many, salvation was proceeded by feelings of shame, unworthiness and brokenness. We lamented and mourned over our sin against a holy God. And yet Jesus called to us to draw near to him and lay down our shame.

Because of Christ, we can invite everyone to come just as they are to our compassionate Savior. No matter what you’re struggling with or how big it seems to you, you can come to Jesus JUST AS YOU ARE. As we learn to meditate on Christ’s finished work on the cross where he put away our sin and shame, we will feel the true freedom and power of the Gospel.

This is the what David Crowder captures beautifully in “Come As You Are”—the beauty of Christ’s love for sinners. What a powerful reminder to “lay down our burdens and shame” and “fall into the arms” of Christ. What a Savior!

Watch David Crowder perform “Come as You Are” here:

Our Children Are Watching Our Stay-at-Home Response

communicating with the unchurched

I live in a county where we have only had 9 positive cases of the Corona virus. Six of those have recovered. Two are recovering in the hospital and one is self-quarantining at home. We aren’t personally feeling the impact of this virus. And yet for the next couple of weeks we and our children will still be shut down.

I’ll be honest, it’s hard to keep following social distancing rules. It’s difficult to see our church not able to physically gather while liquor stores stay open as essential. I get it. I understand that it’s apples to oranges. But it’s still emotionally taxing to continue not meeting together when we aren’t feeling a real danger “out there.”

But we’re going to keep obeying our governmental authorities as well as experts in the medical field who call us to remain cautious. And one of the big reasons we are going to do this is for our children. Not that they are particularly susceptible to this virus—but because they are susceptible to learning from really bad examples.

We teach our children that their obedience to us as their parents are not dictated by whether or not they agree with our decision. We’ll allow them to discuss, we’re fair parents. But their first step needs to be one of obedience. There’s a difference between agreement and obedience. And it’s absolutely vital for our walk with Christ that we are “obedient children” and not just “agreeable children”.

So if we rail against the government, communicate that we think these rules are stupid, thumb our nose at their spoken desire to protect us, and refuse to heed their orders or guidelines, then we are telling our children that we only listen to authorities whenever we agree. If we do this, we’re setting a horrible example.

I hear the contrary argument too. What about the constitution? What if the government oversteps? In our system of government it is the constitution which is our authority and therefore we aren’t rebelling from our God-given authority but from governmental overreach.

Fair enough. I disagree in part, but I’ll concede that point for a moment. Even if that is true there is also a way in which you teach your children to properly rebel from an authority. And it’s not based upon whether or not you agree. We don’t rebel because we disagree with their decisions. We rebel whenever they are actively working apart from our best interest and especially apart from the best interest of Christ. Our rebellion absolutely must come with mourning. We need to have a desire to obey and be broken-hearted when we cannot.

Our kids are watching and learning from us. The way we respond to this—especially if we don’t necessarily agree with every decision—is speaking volumes to how they’ll obey us as parents and their Father in heaven. There will come a time when the Word of God confronts their fallen inclinations. In that moment it’ll be vital for them to have established a pattern of thinking which defaults to trust and obedience.

This article originally appeared here.

Proclaim the Gospel Because Disrupted Plans Don’t Disrupt Our Callings

communicating with the unchurched

Disrupted plans don’t disrupt our callings; we must proclaim the gospel.

My bags were packed. My goodbyes were said. I was ready to start my second term serving with IMB in East Asia. All I was waiting on was my Taiwanese visa, sure to arrive any day. Then I got an unexpected call from the embassy.

The good news? The visa had been approved. The bad news? It was approved the same day the borders in Taiwan closed to prevent the spread of coronavirus. I wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.

I’m not the only IMB worker unexpectedly kept from my place of service by this pandemic. Some of us have been displaced by travel restrictions, others by medical needs that necessitate relocating. One thing we all have in common, however, is separation from people God has burdened us for by circumstances we can’t control.

Thankfully, this season will likely be temporary. By God’s grace, one day this pandemic will end. For some, these separations are far more permanent.

In just a few short years as a missionary, I’ve heard more stories than I ever expected of coworkers who had to leave ministries they loved far sooner than they would have planned.

Personally, I never imagined serving anywhere besides the city in East Asia I first called home as a journeyman. During my two years there, I developed a deep love for the local churches my team served alongside. A few months before the end of my term, I called my team leader, who was on stateside assignment, and told him I wanted to return and continue my ministry. My calling had never felt clearer.

Within two weeks, all my plans unraveled. My team leader was denied entry into the country when he tried to return from the U.S. Ten years of ministry for his family came to an end in an airport immigration office.

Their departure had a ripple effect on our whole team. The clear path forward I thought the Lord had given me became entangled in many unanswered questions. Would our team leader’s family be okay? Would the rest of our team be able to stay together? Was I still sure I wanted to return to East Asia? What was I so sure I had been called to?

In the year that has followed, God has graciously given me the time and space to wrestle especially with that last question. I’ve learned that disrupted plans are painful, but they don’t disrupt our callings to God, to each other, or to proclaim the gospel.

No matter what, believers are first and foremost called to God Himself. Like the prophet Habakkuk, we can rejoice in the Lord “though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines.” Some of the wisest counsel I got in this last year was not to rush any decisions, but just to rest in the Lord. For the believer, He is an unshakable refuge strong enough to bear us up through any storm. Our calling to know and love Him never changes.

No matter what, believers are also called to each other. Scripture describes the church as a body for a reason. We are called to be united in Christ, and to bear each other’s joys and sorrows.

This seems so fundamental, but it really came to life for me this last year when I needed help from the believers in my life more than ever before. Countless times and in countless ways, they were God’s provision to support and strengthen me as I navigated difficult decisions and transitions. Our calling to love and serve our family in Christ never changes.

No matter what, we are called to proclaim the gospel. Scripture tells us to “always be ready to give an answer” when we are asked about the hope we have. Nothing can disrupt this calling, not even being quarantined during a pandemic.

Though the family members I’m staying with currently are all believers, just a few days ago, an unbelieving friend from my old city messaged me. She said she’d been reading her Bible and wanted help understanding Romans.

I can’t travel, go to church, or even visit my grandmother right now, but I can still share my faith. My friend and I are entire continents apart, but God has graciously opened a door for me to share truth with her. Our calling to proclaim the gospel never changes.

In the year since my plans were upended, God has been kind. Fruitful ministry has continued in the city I left. All of my teammates, including my team leader and his family, have continued ministering to East Asians. Though our roles look different than we’d planned, the Lord gave us clarity and peace about our next seasons of ministry. God, in His wisdom, has taken the pieces of a puzzle that felt impossibly jumbled and fit them each exactly where they needed to be.

A year like this is almost comical, with so many ups and downs rounding out with yet another unforeseen change of plans. I know I’m not alone in that. Disrupted lives are a shared frustration around the world these days.

We can’t control much right now, but as believers we can press on faithfully in the steadfast callings on our lives even as we wait for this season to pass.

This article to proclaim the gospel originally appeared here.

Spring Communication Resource Round-Up

In a variety of situations and on a variety of topics I’ve been asked for resources lately and I realized that it might be helpful if I passed them on to CCMag readers. The following links are a mixture— some very basic (but people are always starting out in church communications) and some more advanced web-creation resources. Some are links to free ebooks that I have (no strings attached, no signups or anything, just download). I’ve added a few comments on each so you won’t bother checking out ones that may not be useful to you. One more caveat, my ministry takes no advertising or affiliate relationships, the following are all ones I simply feel are useful for church communicators.

 

Basics

Lynda.com, http://www.lynda.com
This is one of the best resources for learning all things about communications, design, computers, online. I am a little concerned because they are in the process of being bought out by LinkedIn, so get it while you can. They only charge $25 a month for unlimited classes.

Communications Resources, http://www.comresources.com
A classic source for basic church artwork—though they have expanded into a lot of other useful resources such as their Online Member Directory. You don’t always need edgy, contemporary photos to illustrate your communications and their clipart is great for kids and many other traditional church ministries.

Lightstock, http://www.lightstock.com
When you do need the edgy, contemporary photos for your church communications, this group has some very nice ones. They aren’t the biggest, but I find when I want to create something for both print and the web as I did with a recent brochure and web feature for the adult discipleship classes at our church, out of the many resources I have, this is often the one I turn to. Pricing is average, but one major reason I’m listing this is that each week they give away free photos and a vector image, plus sometimes free video clips—worth getting on their mailing list for that.

Canva, https://www.canva.com/
If you haven’t tried Canva you are missing out on one of the greatest both design resources and training resources on the web today. Their Design School tutorials are free, easy, take just minutes, and have great quality content. Very contemporary designs, lots of fun.

 

Website resources

Upfront caveat  from me—I think WordPress is the best way to build a website, for many, many reasons, too lengthy to detail here, and a skill every church communicator (and most staff members and pastors) should have. I have built many sites with it over the years and I continuously am amazed at all it does and what features are added to it. It is also free. You have to pay for hosting, but that can be minimal and instead of being locked into a proprietary system and cost, once you learn this (and it is easy to learn) WordPress is one of the most cost-effective way for a church to have a complete and flexible site. If something else is working for you great, but if you are checking out systems for websites, make WordPress on the top of your list.

WP101, https://www.wp101.com/
One of the best ways to get up and running quickly with WordPress. Easy-to-follow and understand tutorials. Sure, you can view a million of them on YouTube, but you never know what version they are demonstrating. This site constantly updates their training. In addition to basics, more advanced topics easily explained.

Note: Lynda.com, referenced above does have a number of WordPress tutorials—but for some reason, I think they are some of her weakest courses—this is much better for WordPress.

WP Beginner, http://www.wpbeginner.com/
Not only beginners, but everyone who uses WordPress can benefit from the blogs and resource links on this site. Not terribly advanced, but very useful materials.

“a free WordPress newsletter” http://wpmail.me/
This is the geeky newsletter with the latest news from the WordPress organization, developers, and gurus. However, it has a lot for ordinary users, including great articles about plugins and overviews of new themes that have passed the WordPress standards. It comes out once a week and I always find something useful in it.

Church Themes http://churchthemes.com/
My favorite theme site—for many kinds of WordPress sites—I recently discovered it and am building some sites with it. I wanted to wait to tell people about it until I launched them, but I like it too much to wait. The reason I like this site so much (other than the obvious reason of well-designed themes) is that it has the best tutorials for how to use the theme. I have spent way too much money buying premium themes that sounded so good and were next to impossible (for me anyway) to make them do what the demo theme did. The theme creator walks you through each step. You can modify the themes for many purposes other than churches, but it has great, built-in tools for a great church site.

 

Free e-books from Effective Church Communications

In the past, we sold these books, but decided to make all of them free for a limited time at these links. They are some of our most popular and helpful resources. The titles are self-explanatory. You have our permission to make copies and share them with whoever you want.

 

Are printed bulletins still needed in the church?

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/52689

 

Church Connection Cards, Special Edition, connect with visitors, grow your church, pastor your people, little cards, big results

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/53563

If you want the free KINDLE version of this book, go to this link:

http://www.amazon.com/Church-Connection-Cards-Yvon-Prehn-ebook/dp/B005CHQLYK/ref=sr_1_fkmr2_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1384731047&sr=8-1-fkmr2&keywords=Yvon+prehn+kindle+books   
Devotions for Church Communicators, the heart of church communications
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/55323

 

Mother’s Day and the often-missed evangelism and spiritual growth opportunities

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/55831

 

The Six Strategies of Effective Church Communications

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/165163

 

PLEASE share your resources! I know these are just a few of the great resources out there for church communicators. Please send your favorites to: yvon@effectivechurchcom.com and I’ll pass them on.

J.D. Greear Answers: Is the Virus a Judgment from God?

communicating with the unchurched

Is the coronavirus a result of God’s wrath against individuals or nations? Is it ever valid to see the virus as a judgment from God? On his latest Ask Me Anything podcast, Pastor J.D. Greear not only explained why it is dangerous to try to answer these questions but also said there is a far more productive question we should be asking. 

“I want to say this very, very clearly,” said Greear. Trying to determine if a circumstance is a judgment from God “is a level of interpretation about an event that the Bible does not encourage us to exercise in specific situations. In fact, more often than not, in the life of Jesus himself, he’s actually pointing people away from that conclusion.”

Does the Coronavirus Have Anything to Do with God’s Wrath?

“Let’s just state the theological obvious,” said Greear. “All of misery, all devastation, it comes as a result of the Curse, and it’s part of God’s generalized curse on sin.”

When God created the earth, he made it good, and there were no diseases. But when Adam and Eve sinned, God cursed the world he had made. So in one sense, sin is tied to the coronavirus or any evil or suffering any one of us experiences. That’s worth acknowledging, but what about the question of whether God ever uses physical suffering to judge people for specific sins? The first part of Greear’s answer might surprise you. 

Church Guide to Coronavirus 1

“Clearly, even in the New Testament, the Bible teaches that yes, there are specific times that God judges somebody physically because of a sin,” said the pastor. One example of this is in Acts 12 when a group of people compare King Herod to God and Herod accepts this praise instead of giving God the glory. The writer tells us that as a consequence, an angel of the Lord strikes Herod so that he dies from being eaten by worms. In John 5, when Jesus heals an invalid, he warns the man to stop sinning so that “nothing worse” happens to him. When writing to the Corinthian church on how to properly observe Communion, the Apostle Paul tells believers that some of them are sick and have even died because they are taking the Lord’s supper in “an unworthy manner.”

But assuming that we can figure out when God is judging someone for a specific sin is dangerous, said Greear, and Jesus himself discouraged that way of thinking. For example, in John 9 Jesus’ disciples ask him whether a man who was born blind is blind because of his own sin or that of his parents. Jesus responds that the man’s blindness is not because of the man’s sin or his parents’ sin, but rather, “this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”  

Job is perhaps the ultimate example the Bible provides that shows us extreme suffering is not necessarily a consequence of sin. While Greear does not fault Job’s friends for thinking he might need to repent of some sin, the pastor does think they were wrong for concluding that sin had to be the reason for Job’s suffering.

It is simply not for us to know whether God is judging people for their wrongdoings. Greear added, “I think that’s especially problematic to do right now with the coronavirus.” The reason why is that some communities, such as communities of color, are suffering more than others because of the virus. “Sometimes that’s because of unjust situations that they’ve been put in,” said the pastor. “So then to turn around and say, ‘Now you’re suffering more because of your sin,’ when it’s actually because of the sins of others that they’re suffering, that would seem especially grievous.”

“I would just be very, very cautious in this,” said Greear. And beyond simply being cautious in our discussions about how God is judging others, it is much more helpful to ask how God is using the coronavirus and other challenges in our own lives. It could be that God is trying to get our attention about something we need to change. 

In Luke 13:1-6, Jesus addresses a situation where 18 people died because a tower fell on them. Instead of saying their sin was to blame for that misfortune, Jesus says, “unless you repent, you too will all perish.” This response, said Greear, is “surprising and jolting.” Jesus is directing us to consider the impact of our own sin instead of worrying about how God’s wrath is impacting other people for their sins. This does not necessarily mean that if we are suffering, it is because we are experiencing God’s wrath for something specific. Greear said that if God is trying to get his attention about something, “like a good heavenly Father, God will let me know quickly because he’s not going to hide that from me.” But if God does not reveal anything particular that Greear needs to change, the pastor then assumes he is going through a situation similar to Job’s. 

Greear concluded, “So when I look at something like the coronavirus, my assumption is not supposed to be, ‘What was God doing in that person’s life who was suffering from it?’ The question is, ‘What is God trying to say to me?’”

Pastor in Central India Attacked for Police Report on Prior Assault, Expulsion

communicating with the unchurched

Editor’s Note: Please be advised this article about a pastor in Khandwa District, Madhya Pradesh, India contains descriptions and images of violence and may not be appropriate for children or some other readers.


New Dehli (Morning Star News) – Tribal animists in central India who demolished a pastor’s house and drove him and his family out of their village in March seriously injured him in an assault this month, he said.

After beating, choking and pelting pastor Lalu Kirade with a stone in the April 3 attack, the tribal villagers in Khandwa District, Madhya Pradesh threatened to destroy his vocal chords as one of the assailants put her foot on his throat, he said.

“They had sprung on me like a pack of wild dogs,” Pastor Kirade told Morning Star News. “They told me to call upon my God to come and rescue me.”

Pastor Lalu Kirade was attacked in Madhya Pradesh, India for filing police report on prior assault. (Morning Star News)

Among the assailants was the man who began the assault on him in March for refusing to abandon Christianity, identified only as Laxman. In the most recent assault, the six men and two women of one extended family ambushed the 29-year-old pastor as he returned from a grocery shop near the yard where his family is living under the open sky three miles from his former home in Bilood village, he said.

They hit and kicked him, pulled his ears, dragged him by the hair and uttered profanity about Christianity and Christ, the pastor said, besides robbing him of rupees equivalent to US$51.

“The money was given to me as help during this [new coronavirus] lockdown period – it was all that I and my family had to survive upon,” Pastor Kirade told Morning Star News.

Laxman’s wife and niece began to throw stones at him, and a large one weighing more than half a pound hit the back of his head, he said.

“My head began to spin with the sudden strike,” he said. “Blood started to ooze out of the injury, and I fell on the ground. I heard the men shouting at Laxman’s wife for hitting me with a stone. They said they had planned to hit me in a way that I would not bleed. They scolded the women for not doing as planned.”

Laxman’s niece put her foot on his throat, choking him, as the others held down his hands and legs so he could not move, he said.

“I was gasping for breath and thought that I would die,” Pastor Kirade said, adding that Laxman’s niece said, “Call upon your God for help. You pray and preach using your vocal cords, I am going to bring an end to your voice today.”

A passer-by from Bilood village saw the assault and informed the church member in whose yard the pastor’s family is living. The Christian told Kirade’s father and mother, also living in the yard with the pastor’s children, and several relatives rushed to the scene “just in time,” Pastor Kirade said.

Children’s Ministers Determined to Make VBS Happen This Year

communicating with the unchurched

For many churches this year, one of their largest evangelistic efforts has turned into a game-time decision. Vacation Bible School—an annual highlight for many congregations, children, and volunteers—is being upended, along with almost every other aspect of life and ministry, by the pandemic. But churches are determined to offer something for VBS 2020—pandemic or not.

While most churches say they intend to offer VBS this summer, the format and timing will likely be much different from years past. To help churches proceed safely and maintain social distancing, publishers have been adapting existing lesson materials and helping churches plan creatively. And though building closures and decreased giving have forced some churches to cut back on curriculum purchases, publishers say VBS is more important than ever these days.

Most Churches Hope to Proceed with VBS 2020

As of May 1, the “majority” of churches “are still hoping to have some form of face-to-face VBS this summer,” says Tracy Watkins, Group Publishing’s VBS business director. “A smaller portion are planning for an online VBS, but many of those are also planning a face-to-face VBS simultaneously,” he tells ChurchLeaders.com. “For many, it will be a ‘game-time’ decision.”

Stephanie DiDonato, marketing content specialist at Concordia Publishing House, tells ChurchLeaders.com: “With areas of the country in different stages with regard to stay-at-home orders and uncertainty for what the summer may bring, we’ve seen that churches are looking at multiple ways to host their VBS programs.” Concordia is seeing increased interest this year in “how to adapt current programs to host virtual VBS,” she adds.

Speaking to ChurchLeaders.com, Chuck Peters, operations director for LifeWay Kids, says the conversation has switched from “if” churches are holding VBS this year to “how” they’ll hold it. Two or three weeks ago, he says, churches were indicating they’d try virtual or at-home VBS. But now more are leaning toward neighborhood-based VBS, with small groups gathering in back yards. Other churches say they hope to host VBS on their campus later in the summer, likely with more sessions and fewer participants per session.

Thinking Outside the Box

Knowing that some churches won’t be able to have (or won’t be comfortable having) any large gatherings this summer, VBS publishers are tweaking curriculum for online use. Today, Group will release modifications for its “Rocky Railroad” VBS. Changes include packets that can be dropped off at participants’ homes, as well as permissions to use various media online. Group’s railroad-themed materials also will be available in 2021, while supplies last.

On its website, Concordia posted a video with tips for hosting digital “Rainforest Explorers” VBS, as well as a planning guide, checklists, family lesson guides, and other resources.

LifeWay created 4 VBS Strategies for This Summer, a free downloadable ebook detailing different approaches that churches can consider. Alternatives for rethinking the VBS timetable include “conducting VBS over five consecutive weeks (e.g. Wednesday nights, Sunday nights, Saturdays), as a back-to-school kick-off, or over Labor Day weekend or Fall Break.”

Publishers acknowledge that money is likely to be an issue for more churches and families this summer. To keep VBS affordable, Group suggests asking a few donors for special gifts, charging an admission fee if your church has never done that, and setting up scholarships for participants in need.

Pandemic Offers ‘a time to innovate’

As with past obstacles, the coronavirus has provided opportunities, says LifeWay’s Peters. “It’s easy to get paralyzed when we’re told we can’t do something the way we normally do it,” he tells ChurchLeaders.com. “But this isn’t a time to freeze; it’s a time to innovate. The church has risen to the occasion during this pandemic, and VBS will be no different.”

The gospel remains central to VBS, Peters adds, with the format and timing being secondary. He’s confident that outreach will be just as effective this year because “VBS leaders are some of the most creative people I know.”

Bethany Brown, production editor for LifeWay VBS, has a unique perspective on proceeding with programming this summer. While conducting research about VBS history, she found World War II-era notes from a former LifeWay VBS head. Brown learned that VBS is a “resilient force” and that tough times call for steps such as recognizing the need to change, staying flexible, cooperating with other congregations, and thinking bigger. “Maybe it’s as simple as adjusting your [VBS] crafts or missions project to support medical professionals and delivery workers,” she suggests.

The Fault That Is (Not) in Our Stars

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Once in a sermon, the great Baptist preacher, Charles Haddon Spurgeon, spoke strongly against owning slaves. In that sermon, he said about the emancipator William Wilberforce:

“Not so very long ago our nation tolerated slavery in our colonies. Philanthropists endeavored to destroy slavery; but when was it utterly abolished? It was when Wilberforce roused the church of God, and when the church of God addressed herself to the conflict, then she tore the evil thing to pieces. I have been amused with what Wilberforce said the day after they passed the Act of Emancipation. He merrily said to a friend when it was all done, ‘Is there not something else we can abolish?’ That was said playfully, but it shows the spirit of the church of God. She lives in conflict and victory; her mission is to destroy everything that is bad in the land. “(The Best Warcry, March 4, 1883)

Another great British thinker, CS Lewis, said that Christianity, too, is a fighting religion. Just as Jesus loved the world by combatting evil in the world, his followers will do the same. Advancing the good includes “picking fights” with everything that threatens and diminishes the good.

But before we are ready to fight the wrong out there

The Fault In Ourselves

In Julius Caesar, Shakespeare’s Cassius says, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” It is easy to look around and identify things that are wrong with the world and with others. But Jesus directs us to look first at ourselves. Before we can effectively address the fault in our stars, we must face the fault in ourselves.

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)

Scripture highlights a universal truth about the human condition: None of us is what we should be. Whether a short temper, a lustful eye, a haughty heart, a lying tongue, or some combination of these and other issues, each of us lives with a sickness of the soul – a sickness that keeps us from loving God as we are meant to love him.

When the body is sick, we who desire health will attack the sickness in multiple ways. We take our medicine, do our exercises, get plenty of rest, eat healthy, and whatever else the medical professionals tell us we must do. Similarly, sickness of the soul requires focus, energy, and action. It also requires honesty about the seriousness of our condition. The soul that is not carefully tended to—the soul whose health is not consistently fought for—will erode spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and in every other way. This is why the fight against the wrong in us is a most important and necessary fight. Emotionally intelligent and spiritually healthy people answer the question, “What’s wrong with the world?” in the same way that Chesterton is said to have answered the same:

“I am.”

5 ‘Preacher Thoughts’ About Birds Singing More Loudly During This Crisis

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We preachers tend to find sermon illustrations in almost anything, and this post reflects nothing different. Because I’m a preacher at heart, my mind is always thinking about ways to illustrate biblical truth.

Early this morning, I heard a news report about songbirds seemingly singing more loudly during these days of the COVID-19 threat. That story caught my attention because I’m a birdwatcher. I’m continually amazed by God’s creative power evident in the colorful feathers and melodic voices of birds.

So, I found the story fascinating enough that I checked it out. Apparently, the birds are seeming to sing more loudly because the ambient noise of a busy, deafening population is currently so much lessened. Because we’re quieter, we can more clearly hear God’s creation sing. Here are my further thoughts:

  1. It’s good for us to face a situation that requires us to open more widely our listening ears. I mean this statement literally in the sense that we can indeed better hear creation around us. I also mean it figuratively, though, trusting that this current scenario is pushing us to listen more closely to God’s Word, His Spirit, and His people. We need to quiet our hearts, listen, and learn.
  2. We need to slow down enough to see God’s glory in creation. I enjoy hiking and camping, but I don’t always take time to see God’s creative power in the world around me. These unusual days, though, have pushed me outside and have caused me to turn my eyes and ears to God and His works even more. Just looking around helps us see God’s glory.
  3. Creation may sing of God’s glory, but it’s our job to tell the story of God’s glory in Christ. The rocks can cry out, but proclaiming the gospel to the ends of the earth is our responsibility. Nothing short of non-believers learning this story and responding in faith and repentance will restore their relationship with their Creator—and we’re privileged to tell that story.
  4. We must at least ask what kind of “noise” we believers contribute to the world around us. I pray it’s the good noise of the gospel resounding among the nations, but I fear it’s more often the bad noise of conflict, division, arrogance, hypocrisy, and personal kingdom-building. That kind of noise makes it more difficult for non-believers to hear the gospel message when we do speak it.
  5. It’s important that we sing God’s praises even in these tough days . . . perhaps especially in these days. The world takes note of the transforming power of the gospel not so much when we praise God while standing on the mountaintop, but when we can sing from the valley. My prayer is that the choir voices we’re hearing via the Internet today will continue to sing even more loudly after this crisis is over. We need to outsing the birds.

Here’s my suggestion today: no matter who’s listening, let God’s praises rise from your lips all day long!

This article originally appeared here.

6 Tips for Overcoming Virtual Meetings Fatigue

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Most of us are still adjusting to a world where virtual meetings with screen captures of Zoom meetings have become the new selfie. In this time of social distancing, our only social contacts—outside of our households—are through a camera lens and a video screen.

In so many ways, we should be thankful for the technology that has allowed us to stay somewhat connected to the world around us.

But at the same time, we’re starting to feel the fatigue that comes with staring at tiny boxes of people on our computers.

  • Small groups now meet online.
  • Work meetings are online.
  • Worship on Sunday is streamed to TVs, laptops, and mobile devices.
  • Extended family chats are facilitated through Zoom.

So, what do we do when our minds and bodies start shutting down from virtual meetings overload? Here are six tips to overcome your Zoom/Hangouts/WebEx/Skype/FaceTime fatigue.

1. SCHEDULE BREAKS BETWEEN ONLINE MEETINGS.

It’s tempting to schedule back-to-back virtual meetings because the travel time is eliminated. We can easily jump to the next Zoom link instead of taking the elevator to the 5th floor conference room.

However, we need those few minutes to reset and refresh our brain for the next task. Build in a buffer of at least 10-20 minutes between your online meetings, and you’ll notice the difference.

2. USE THE PHONE OCCASIONALLY.

As an introvert (Chris) and an Enneagram 5, talking on the phone is not one of my top 100 things to do in a day.

I’m normally a text-first kind of guy, and if absolutely necessary, I make a quick, 30-second phone call, but even I’m seeing the need for connecting with people in one-on-one conversations.

Picking up the phone to find out how someone in your small group is doing can actually be revitalizing instead of draining.

You can also occasionally call in to that virtual meeting instead of videoing in. That gives you the opportunity to walk around and even step outside during it.

3. BUILD IN BREAKS DURING LONGER MEETINGS.

It’s amazing how much concentration it takes to engage in an online meeting. There are so many more distractions and things to look at than an in-person meeting in a conference room or someone’s living room.

Normal meeting actions, like looking out of the window while someone else is talking, can seem very disengaging on a video call.

You feel the need to focus on the screen the entire time. That makes a two-hour virtual meeting feel more like four hours.

It’s important to schedule in five- to 10-minute breaks every hour for participants to use the restroom or just disengage from a screen.

Make sure you use that time to look at something other than a computer monitor. Don’t use the break to check your email or update your calendar.

4. SCHEDULE SHORTER MEETINGS.

We know virtual meetings always feel longer than physical meetings, so plan for it and keep most of your meetings shorter. This applies to online church services as well.

If your normal Sunday service is an hour and a half, consider cutting the online version to an hour. Staring at a screen is not the same as participating in a gathering.

Instead, encourage participation by offering resources for families to use for a post-service discussion.

5. KEEP A “ZOOM SABBATH.”

Having a day scheduled each week for no meetings is good advice anytime, but especially now with everything taking place in one location. As this isolation goes on, lines drawn in our lives will begin to blur.

In this time it will be easy—and unhealthy—for the office to take over too much of our homes. Because of this you might consider, as a team, making certain days “meeting free” or giving team members the right to decline meetings for various reasons.

Etiquette would warrant always giving an explanation with any decline.

6. SCHEDULE TECHNOLOGY BREAKS.

Everyone’s calendars are different, and there will be some of us who have more meetings throughout the day than others.

Increasingly it’s going to be necessary that we manage our own days and do our best to keep healthy boundaries between home, family, and the workday.

Just like how there’s such a thing as “Zoom fatigue,” there’s also such a thing as too much technology and screen time.

Our new way of life, at least for the near term, necessitates we engage screens at a higher percentage than usual.

It’s crucial we put our devices away, step outside, maybe take a few minutes to breathe the air, go for a walk or a run, or even work on professional reading assignments.

It’s for this reason we recommend regular breaks from all technology throughout the day. If it helps, put yourself on a timer. These breaks are as important as your next task.

CHRIS SURRATT (@ChrisSurratt) is the discipleship and small groups specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources, a ministry consultant and coach with more than 20 years of experience, and the author of Leading Small Groups: How to Gather, Launch, Lead, and Multiply Your Small Group.

BRIAN DANIEL (@bcdaniel) is manager of short-term discipleship resources at LifeWay Christian Resources. Surratt and Daniel co-host the Group Answers podcast

This article about virtual meetings fatigue originally appeared here.

Distinguishing God’s Voice from the Circumstances of Life

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Every believer wants to hear from God.

Why would you attempt to follow God closely if you didn’t want to know His voice or hear what He has to say?

Jesus said, “My sheep know my voice.” (John 10:27)

That’s especially true in the circumstances of our life. When life is happening — we want to know: Is this God? Is this what He is telling me to do? Is God trying to get my attention?

And, I believe, sometimes life if just happening. It’s not at all that God isn’t interested or in control. He counts hairs on our head and stores our tears in a bottle — He cares. But, sometimes life is life. Things happen. Doors open. Doors close. Jobs are lost. Health changes. The deal on the house we wanted falls through. We don’t get the scholarship we hoped we would. Life happens.

And, yet, I do believe God will use our circumstances to speak to us. He used a burning bush to speak to Moses.

I wish He’d use one to speak to me sometimes. I think I’d pay attention to that.

And, I think that’s part of the problem.

One thing I’ve observed is that we often expect God to speak in the grandiose voice of God. And, sometimes God speaks that way, but many times — at least in my life — God is more subtle than that. Often God speaks through those quiet moments, through other people, and through ordinary life’s circumstances.

In a crowded world of noise and life distractions sometimes it’s hard to understand what God is saying. Isn’t it?

How do we — in the midst of our circumstances — as mixed up and confusing as they can be — figure out what God could be saying to us?

First, I have to say this — it begins and ends in a relationship. If you don’t have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ — start there. (Read Romans 10:9 and if you have questions, email me.)

But, for those who have a relationship already — which is the majority of my readers — how do we hear God’s voice through our circumstances?

Political Polarization Is the Crisis We Should Be Fighting Right Now

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Timothy Keller knows how to pastor diverse groups of people. He’s pastored a church in the heart of liberal Manhattan and a church in Hopewell, Virginia, a blue collar, southern town now favorable to President Trump, as he describes it. Keller has over 50 years of ministry experience, including experience planting churches and co-founding the Redeemer City to City church planting movement. You could say Keller has experience with a wide breadth of the American evangelical church. And while he describes himself as a political “amateur”, Keller observes a problem of political polarization that is plaguing the church right now.

“I would say our biggest problem right now is political disunity, not doctrinal,” Keller told us in a recent interview on the ChurchLeaders podcast. “It’s pretty remarkable. Nobody’s arguing about baptism or tongues or things like that anymore. They’re arguing about politics.”

We’re not the only ones Keller has spoken to about this crisis of political polarization in the evangelical church. In a 2018 interview with Maina Mwaura, Keller expressed his concern over some Christians growing more radicalized on both sides of the political aisle—but most noticeably the growing trend toward nationalism. He also described political polarization as one of the three main challenges the church is currently facing in an interview on the Faith Angle Forum podcast. Keller also recently published a book, Uncommon Ground, toward the end of helping Christians live faithfully in an increasingly pluralistic world.

How Did the Church Get Here?

Keller believes a shift has taken place in the last handful of decades among the liberal left that has alienated the blue collar workers they used to champion. “When the left was mainly about economic issues—it was mainly about lifting up the poor and the working class and unions and that sort of thing—there wasn’t as much of a bifurcation, I think, between your average real blue collar person and the intelligentsia who was a left-wing person.” However, Keller explains in his interview with Faith Angle Forum, “when the left moved into saying, ‘if you’re an Orthodox Jew or Muslim or Catholic or evangelical Christian, your social values are stupid,’” they crossed a line they have yet to recover from, Keller speculates. 

In essence, Keller believes the left moved away from their platform based on economic issues and move toward “lifting up sexual issues and sex and gender and that sort of thing.” As blue collar people tend to be religious, Keller points out, this alienated many of them and contributed to the rift we are currently witnessing between the left and some religious people.

Another factor Keller mentions in this whole political polarization crisis is the media. He recalls pastoring in Hopewell during the 1970s and 80s when his congregants only had access to a few sources for national news and one Christian radio station that aired a lot of Bible exposition content. A pastor during this time, he explained, had more influence over what his or her congregants believed about social and political issues like sex, gender, and race.

Now, however, Keller says it’s “crazy, utterly crazy” how many different voices your average church-goer will be exposed to on these topics. Keller admits he’s not sure how the church should adapt to the deluge of information and opinions most people are exposed to on a daily basis. And the voices chiming in about these sensitive issues aren’t just coming from secular sources, either. Whereas Christian radio in the 70s and 80s concerned itself with Bible exposition mainly, today it’s a different story. Keller says he noticed a change in the Reagan era where Christian radio started to talk more about political issues. 

What Is This Political Polarization Doing to the Church?

Keller believes political polarizations are undermining the church’s ability both to form people and to reach people. It is, in short, a “crisis” for the church. Again, Keller believes Christians are ending up in ditches on both the right and left sides of the narrow road we’ve instructed to walk. In the interview with ChurchLeaders, Keller painted the picture this way:

When I went to [Hopewell], I realized the Bible doesn’t just talk about sex and gender, it also talks about race and poverty, racial justice and economic justice, and when I got into conservative Christian circles down there, I found out that they were all combative about sex and gender but they basically looked the other way when it came to issues of racism and poverty and they said ‘that’s not our job–our job is to save souls.’ And that’s not what the Bible says…When we look at what the Bible says, we should be concerned about racial justice and poverty and we should be against same-sex marriage and we should be against abortion…Here’s Christians who are being sucked into either a secular liberal or a secular conservative direction.

In places like Washington D.C. and New York City, for instance, Keller notices younger evangelicals are moving toward sources of information like MSNBC whereas evangelicals in other parts of the country rely more on Fox News. Both of these sources, Keller points out, are secular. The implication that Keller is making here is that there is a “blue evangelicalism and a red evangelicalism coming up” that represents a crisis of disunity in the church.

And while some may be quick to point fingers across political aisles and blame the “other side” for our current polarization, Keller warns us not to be so quick to point. There are “conservative operatives doing everything they can to alienate evangelicals from the liberals. And liberal operatives doing everything they can to alienate the rest of the country from evangelicals. We’re constantly being pummeled over certain things,” Keller explains. 

In fact, a book Keller is reading at the moment points out that American evangelicals represent a significant voting bloc not seen in other English-speaking countries like Canada, Australia, or the U.K. and therefore find themselves the object of an unfortunate tug-of-war. The book is called The Politics of Evangelical Identity by Baylor University Professor Lydia Bean and compares two American churches (a Baptist and Pentecostal church) in Buffalo, New York, with two Canadian churches (also Baptist and Pentecostal) in Hamilton, Ontario. While the four churches are geographically very close to one another and share virtually the same theology and “conservative moral attitudes”, they differ significantly when it comes to politics. Keller explains this is because in Canada, evangelicals represent a relatively small voting bloc and implies they are not targeted by politically motivated people in the same way American evangelicals are.

There Are 3 Kinds of Fear, But Only One Is Necessary in a Crisis

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There are three kinds of fear. It’s an emotion we all know well, and in recent weeks, it’s one that has asserted itself in our minds and hearts. We fear both ourselves and loved ones catching the virus. We fear what will happen to our finances because of lost wages. We fear how long our life will be put on hold. We fear all the unknowns that lie ahead. And all these fears are exacerbated every time we turn on the news or scroll through social media. Fear, it seems, has spread as far and wide as the virus itself.

In the face of this crisis, how can we as Christians respond to our fears? It’s helpful to first identify the three kinds of fear found in Scripture, one of which is not like the others.

Three Kinds of Fear

The Puritan, John Flavel, describes these three kinds of fear in his book, Triumphing Over Sinful Fear. The first is natural fear. It’s the fear we feel in the face of danger, such as hearing a tornado warning on the news, coming upon a bear on the mountain trail, or learning of a viral pandemic spreading across the nation. Such fear is a natural and human response to harm. It’s what gets us to leave a building ablaze with fire. Flavel wrote,

“Everyone experiences natural fear. It is the trouble or agitation of mind that arises when we perceive approaching evil or impending danger. It is not always sinful, but it is always the fruit and consequence of sin.”[1]

Our natural fears are the result of life in a post-fall world.

The second of the kinds of fear is sinful fear. Flavel describes this fear as arising from unbelief, “an unworthy distrust of God. This occurs when we fail to rely upon the security of God’s promises; in other words, when we refuse to trust in God’s protection.” [2] Sinful fear grips and rules our hearts. It governs our choices and directs our energies and affections. It draws us to false idols in the hopes they will rescue and save us. It’s a fear that becomes a pattern in our lives, an immediate response to difficult circumstances. It’s the kind of fear that distracts us and keeps us from resting and trusting in God and his great love for us.

In terms of our current situation, we’ve all felt natural fear as we’ve heeded warnings and taken necessary precautions to protect ourselves and loved ones from harm. At times, we’ve likely felt sinful fear as we’ve worried about the unknown future. It’s the fear that makes us want to acquire and hoard. This fear also plays itself out in our mind with all the thoughts of “what if____?” — replayed over and over like a record set on repeat. Over these weeks, we may have even felt an intermingling of both these fears.

But there’s one more kind of fear which Flavel writes about, and that is the fear of the Lord. This fear is holy and other. It is not a terror-fear as we might feel in the face of a raging storm, but a fear rooted in a filial love for the God who adopted us as his beloved children and rescued us from sin. It is a fear that is filled with awe, wonder, reverence, worship, and love for our great God. As Flavel says, this fear is “our treasure, not our torment.”[3]

Throughout the Bible, we are called to fear the Lord (Deut. 6:24Ps. 34:9Acts 9:31). The fear of the Lord isn’t something that comes naturally to our fallen nature; rather, it is a fear implanted in us by God himself. “And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me” (Jeremiah 32:40). What grace! God calls us to fear him, and then gives us a holy fear of him.

The fear of the Lord is a fear that sees God as greater than all other fears. And, as the Bible teaches, it is the antidote to all our lesser fears.

Matthew 10 and a Greater Fear

In Matthew 10, after Jesus had called all the disciples to follow him, he prepared to send them out to preach that the kingdom of God was at hand. He told them to heal the sick, raise the dead, and cast out demons. He warned them that some would listen to them and some would reject their teaching. He also warned them of future persecution where they would be hated and beaten and brought to trial. It is amid these warnings that he also taught them about the fear of the Lord:

“What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (vv. 27-31).

This passage teaches that a fear of the Lord weakens our lesser fears. The disciples were to replace their fear of harm from man with a fear of the Lord. While man might very well harm them physically, even to the point of death, it is God who held the power over the destination of their souls. He is the sovereign One who knows all the hairs on their head. He cares for them more than the creatures he watches over each day. God is the one whom they were to fear.

The Bible teaches us that when we are fearful, we are to replace that fear with a greater fear, a holy fear of the Lord. We do so as well dwell on who God is and what he has done. We do so as we focus on God’s character: His sovereignty, holiness, righteousness, goodness, and faithfulness. We do so as we remember all he has done for us in Christ, when he conquered our greatest fear—eternal death and separation from him—at the cross. We do so as we relish and cherish all his promises for us. In the face of a holy fear, our lesser fears weaken; they lose their grip on us.

As this crisis continues, we will likely face more fears. When these fears arise, may we cry out to the One who gives us a holy fear of him. May we look to him and see him as greater than all our fears.

Note: This piece is inspired by Christina’s book, A Holy Fear: Trading Lesser Fears for the Fear of the Lord, published with Reformation Heritage Books.

Notes

[1] Flavel, John. Triumphing Over Sinful Fear (Grand Rapids: Reformation Heritage, 2011), p.8.

[2] Ibid, p. 12.

[3] Ibid, p. 19.

This article about three kinds of fear originally appeared here.

In Gratitude for the Often Forgotten Pastor’s Wife

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As October has so quickly concluded, we look back on Clergy Appreciation Month in hopes that every pastor was encouraged and honored in some way. This is an important and biblical engagement. Yet, before we move too far past this necessary emphasis, I am mindful of some unsung heroes that we must acknowledge–the often forgotten pastor’s wife.

Proverbs 3:27 says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.” Romans 13:7 commends, “…respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”

The often forgotten pastor’s wife fulfills a unique call, carries a special burden, and is often overlooked.

She deserves a level of appreciation and honor that is seldom expressed as is merited.

Last week at our conference in the Toronto area, a moment was set aside to honor pastors’ wives. This proved to be a powerful and emotional moment for us all. Karl Whittingstall, the Pastor of Student Ministries at our host church, Hope Bible Church,[i] read a moving tribute to pastors’ wives.

I was so touched, I wanted to share it with you today. I felt deep regret for not honoring my own wife as I should have over the years. We all felt a fresh burden to pray for and encourage those faithful spouses who stand willingly alongside their husbands.

Here is Karl’s tribute:

To the often forgotten pastor’s wife, the woman often behind, but so faithfully beside, a man God has called to labor for Him.

Your husband stands on stage and preaches, leads your church in worship, cares for other people’s needs, points groups to Jesus, hangs out with church members, goes on missions trips, leads retreats, counsels people, works with other leaders, and makes hard decisions. Everyone sees him, but often, and usually unintentionally, overlooks you. It isn’t easy to be you, and we all publically acknowledge that right now.

You endure so much!!

A husband worn down mentally, physically, and spiritually from caring for others struggles to come home with enough gas in the tank to care for you. You are often privately under spiritual attack, the evil one distracting your husband by what God has called him to publically.

You are often left alone with the kids while your husband goes out night after night, to retreat after retreat, elder’s meeting after elder’s meeting, missions trip after missions trip, to one worship practice after another – while you are putting the kids to bed alone, cleaning up from dinner by yourself, and doing so much you are not thanked for.

“But aren’t you excited to see how the Lord is moving?”

You answer yes, because you know it’s right, but it is hard.

For all the times you held down the fort while we went to work; For all the times you would have loved to see God work up close and change a heart; For the times you skipped prayer meetings to stay home with a snotty-nosed infant, a daughter with a fever, or a son with the flu; For all the days off or evening dates that didn’t happen because of ministry…

We can’t give you those back, but we can say, “Thank you,” and try to love you better.

Right now we acknowledge your service and sacrifice. We don’t do this enough, and for this we are sorry. Please don’t be discouraged, pastor’s wife. The LORD SEES IT ALL. He knows your frustration, your discouragement, and your times of hurt and loneliness. You carry a burden that is no doubt different from, but just as weighty as your husband’s. Do not believe the lies of the evil one that you are not being used, that you are somehow “just” a pastor’s wife.

You are the smile, the warmth, the comfort, the faithful, prayerful, patient, more-helpful-than-you-could-even-know partner to the man God has called to labor for Him. You might not often be seen or even be with him, but he can’t do it without you beside him.

You are not “just” a pastor’s wife. You have been specifically called by God to this role. It isn’t easy, but this is why we love you, this is why we pray for you, this is why we can do what we do—because we do it alongside you.

Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your endurance. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for your correction even when we don’t want to hear it. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your honesty, loyalty, and patience.

From every pastor and ministry director to their wife: We love you!

I encourage you to write or call an often forgotten pastor’s wife today and let her know you love her, respect her, and deeply appreciate her faithful obedience to her calling and her sacrificial support for the Lord’s work. Honor to whom honor is due.

This article about the often forgotten pastor’s wife originally appeared here.

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