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Leadership Evangelism: How Your Church Can Double in Three Years (or Less)

communicating with the unchurched

What I am about to share with you is the single most important church growth principle I have ever learned for senior pastors of churches under 1,000 in size. I call it Leadership Evangelism.

Leadership Evangelism is the process by which senior pastors single-handedly ignite a movement within their church that will cause it to double in size in three years or less.

Here’s a common occurrence:

A senior pastor leads a church that hasn’t grown in five years. Funding is tight. They have board members who don’t really get the larger vision. Their staff, if they have any staff, are underpaid, overworked and just as frustrated as their leader. The senior pastor has tried everything to catalyze growth—drafting a new vision statement, tweaking the worship services, starting a new outreach program, trying to get people to invite their friends—all on top of working to the point of exhaustion. Yet, nothing to date has worked.

The majority of evangelical churches in English-speaking countries around the world are in this exact same boat.

“What would you do if you were me?” some have asked.

That’s when I tell them about Leadership Evangelism.

All senior pastor can lead their church to grow. Regardless of age. Regardless of education. Regardless of whether the pastor has the gift of leadership or the gift of evangelism or whatever “gift” they think they need to have, but lack.

Five Foundational Principles for Leadership Evangelism

There are five foundational principles one must understand before the process of Leadership Evangelism will make sense.

1. The Principle of Leadership Multiplication

The principle of leadership multiplication is as follows:

  • Evangelize non-leaders and you add people to your church.
  • Evangelize leaders and you add everyone under their influence to your church.

The first effort is simple addition.

The second is multiplication.

When you add non-leaders, your church grows one person at a time (while simultaneously dealing with a near 20 percent attrition rate every single year). This explains why most churches never grow. You keep adding people, but at a slower rate than they’re leaving.

When you add leaders, your church still grows one at a time, but soon after a leader begins attending they often bring a whole row with them.

Senior pastors have bought into the myth that only extroverts or people with the gift of evangelism bring newcomers. Not true. In my experience, leaders bring newcomers. Why? Because they are the only people in your church who have the most potential to affect wholesale change for dozens of people.

When a leader says “this is a product to buy,” the people they influence will buy it. In droves. When a leader says “this is the best little league to have your six-year-old join,” that’s where everyone in their office ends up joining. And when a leader makes it known that they’re attending your church, everyone with whom that leader has influence takes notice.

2. The Principle of Selection

To lead a church in growth, a senior pastor must spend a disproportionate amount of time with those with the greatest leadership skills, and delegate the rest to other leaders in the church.

When we look at Scripture we see three types of kingdom leaders:

A Leaders (leaders of leaders)

B Leaders (leaders of followers)

C Leaders (followers)

Every senior pastor has a limited number of A Leaders in a 10-mile radius of their church building. Your job is to find them, lead them to Christ and deploy them into leadership in your church community.

A Leaders are leaders of other leaders. Who are the people most like Paul, Peter, Phoebe, James or John in your area? Where do they work? Live? Play? These are the people you’re going after.

B Leaders are leaders of followers. These are the Barnabas types of people who can lead the John Marks in the pews, but not the apostle Peters of the world.

C Leaders are people who don’t like to lead anyone. Think of John Mark or Martha. These are incredibly important servants in the Kingdom, but they wouldn’t want to be thrown into a leadership position for anything. We call them “leaders” because everyone must lead themselves, their kids, etc.

This isn’t some classification system I dreamed up out of thin air. We see this all over Scripture.

In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30 those who should be deacons (B Leaders), and then addresses everyone else (C Leaders) throughout the rest of the letter.

While I recognize these categories are very rough equivalents, what is clear in Scripture is that God views people differently when it comes to their Kingdom leadership potential. This gives us the permission to do the same.

I’ve found that churches have roughly the same breakdown of leaders attending their services:

5 percent – A Leaders

15 percent – B Leaders

80 percent – C Leaders

That means if all things are equal, your church of 250 will have 12 A Leaders (including staff) who lead the remaining 95 percent of the attendees. We had 1,903 last Sunday, which means one would assume we have roughly 93 A Leaders.

Hopefully, you’re starting to see that the future growth of your church is to be found in finding and attracting more A Leaders, not getting your B and C Leaders to bring more B and C Leaders.

A Leaders can lead Bs and Cs, while Cs and Bs cannot lead A Leaders.

Quick question: Where do senior pastors of stagnant churches spend the majority of their time? You guessed it: fielding endless requests for pastoral counseling and crisis management from the C Leaders in their church (80 percent). Care for these people must be delegated to the B Leaders (who in my experience make outstanding small group leaders).

C Leaders always demand your time, but rarely demand your vision.

3. The Principle of Going

If the Great Commission begins with Jesus commanding his followers to go, wouldn’t it make sense that the leader of a community of Jesus followers should spend a large chunk of their time “going” in order to help their body reach their full redemptive potential?

The Kingdom of God is fueled by movement, so when I find a senior pastor frustrated, depressed and anxious because the church they serve isn’t growing, I know for certain it is because their rear has grown calloused instead of their feet.

When I say you have to “go” I literally mean getting up out of your seat, walking to your car, driving across town, walking into an Applebee’s and having a conversation with the mayor of your city. Then doing the same thing with the superintendent of your school district, and then with the owner of that amazing pizza shop that everyone in your area loves.

Let’s call that a typical Tuesday.

Two days later you get up out of your seat and meet the president of the Rotary club for breakfast, then the CEO of your local YMCA for coffee, then your dentist for sushi and then the chief of police for coffee at Starbucks.

We’ll call that a typical Thursday.

Jesus’ ministry in Mark’s gospel begins with Jesus going to Peter’s place of employment. Paul’s ministry in Corinth began by him going to Crispus’ workplace.

Why would we expect our ministries to have the same impact if we can’t look back on the last 90 days of our ministry and see countless examples of us doing the exact same thing as Jesus and Paul?

4. The Principle of Inverse Priorities

The reason I call this entire process “Leadership Evangelism” is because in a transient society we don’t have time to wait to begin leadership development until after someone becomes a Christian.

We see this principle operating in Jesus’ ministry.

When Jesus called his disciples to follow him, he did not demand any “confession” of faith on their part until well later in their time together. Until that confession occurred, he focused on teaching and developing them as leaders.

In Matthew 4:18-19 that Jesus finally got around to asking them, “Oh yeah, I’ve meant to ask you. Do you have any idea who I am?”

Connecting with people and getting them to follow you, so to speak, is all about converting people to a relationship with you first, then slowly building up enough credibility to begin asking penetrating evangelistic questions.

In the interim, we focus on working with them to develop them into the best leaders possible, in part because that is something we know they’ll be interested in, but primarily because this is what Jesus did.

In churches committed to growing through conversion growth only (which hopefully you are), leadership development is always relational, and it always precedes confession.

There is no “class” that develops Kingdom leaders. Once someone is already a Kingdom leader, a class can be supplemental, but senior pastors of growing, outreach-focused churches know that classes do not cause leaders to develop.

5. The Principle of Suffering

The last principle is the most important.

Leadership Evangelism is a ton of work, and it is very difficult.

One reason is many pastors feel uneasy walking up to a lunch meeting with the most powerful and influential people in their region. I get that. I’ve felt that way before. You’ll get over that.

Another is because this is physically and emotionally demanding work, especially for pastors who are introverts like myself.

You must be organized because, as you’ll see in a minute, you are going to have to juggle a ton of names, details, dates, etc.

You must be persistent. You are going to be rejected; soundly sometimes. But keep in mind that many of the same people who reject you at first will become some of your best leaders down the road.

Finally, expect to be criticized by the C Leaders in your church for not paying enough attention to them. The 80 percent are loud and needy, not because they don’t love God, but because they are limited in vision. They are always the last ones to see the benefit of what you are about to do.

Leadership Evangelism – Step by Step

Here’s the step by step process for fully implementing Leadership Evangelism into your weekly rhythm.

Step 1: Identify the 100 Most Influential People in a 10 Mile Radius

In his book The Next Christians, Gabe Lyons identified seven distinct streams of cultural influence:

Business (e.g., corporations, technology, advertising, commerce)
Media (e.g., publishing, television, Internet)
Arts and Entertainment (e.g., film, music, sports, classical arts)
Social Sector (e.g., nonprofits and civic organizations, foundations)
Government (e.g., judicial, executive, and legislative branches, military)
Education (e.g., schools, sciences, medicine, research)
Church (e.g., churches, para-church and religious organizations)

What I want you to do is gather your staff and key leaders and come up with at least 20 names of people in each of those categories who live or work within a 10-mile radius of your church building (excluding “church” obviously). This will comprise your “Top 100 Community A Leaders” list.

Step 2: Identify the 100 Most Influential People in Your Church

Next, generate a list of the 100 most influential people in your church.

For some senior pastors, that number will be more than their entire church. I get that.

I’m not just talking about people who are already serving in some capacity. I’m also talking about the “sleepers” who lead in some capacity in the marketplace but aren’t actively involved.

Step 3: Keep Both Lists Before Your Eyes at All Times

For the next three years, you will be working on those two lists.

Keep them in front of your face, and get used to the idea that you will be opening those lists, refining them, removing names and adding others, for the next three years.

Preaching killer sermons, leading this effort of Leadership Evangelism, and delegating other responsibilities to staff and volunteers will take up 90 percent of your time every week.

Step 4: Clear Your Schedule for 10 Meetings Every Week

That’s 10 meetings on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Remember, Mondays are blocked off for sermon writing. Fridays and Saturdays are your days off. Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays will be blocked off for breakfasts, lunches, meetings at Starbucks and drop-by appointments (except for your staff meeting and service design). Advance sermon planning will take place early in the morning on those days.

Remember when I said this would be all you would be doing for three years? I wasn’t kidding.

Step 5: Learn How to Become a World-Class Networker

As soon as you’re done with this article, I want you to buy, read and then digest the single best book on relational networking in print: Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone.

Ferrazzi is not a Christian, but he is the only person I’ve read who understands what it is like for a senior pastor of a struggling church in Illinois to feel frustrated and not know how to start connecting with A Leaders in the community.

Trust me. Get the book, then eat the meat and throw away the bones.

Yes, I know some of your practical ministry professors in seminary would balk at you learning how to “network,” but that mindset is why they’re still busy teaching emerging senior pastors how to lead stagnant churches.

FYI: If I were starting this fresh in a smaller church I would definitely get a Customer Relationship Management (CRM) software program like Pipedrive to manage the details of these meetings. Here are the best CRM software choices out there right now.

Step 6: “Ping” 25 A Leaders From the Community Each Week

Let’s first start out with how to connect with A Leaders who don’t go to your church.

I want you to begin the practice of “pinging” 25 people a week from the “Top 100 Community A Leaders” list you brainstormed with your key leaders. No need to strategize whom to contact first. Just start.

Ferrazzi calls every attempt to reach out to someone you’re trying to connect with a ping—a text, email or phone call is a ping.

You will reach out and ping 25 community leaders a week.

Why 25 pings?

It’s the law of large numbers. A certain percentage of people are going to blow you off, at least initially, so to fill up your schedule with 10 meetings a week, you’ll need to reach out to a lot of community leaders each week.

How to Contact a Leader You Don’t Personally Know

Here’s what I include in an email to an A Leader in the community I don’t know:

  • First, I will introduce myself and reference either someone we both know in common or an issue that we both value.
  • Second, I will ask them to meet for breakfast, lunch or for coffee. I tell them that as a fellow community leader I want to pick their brain about how we can work together to make our community better (and hopefully help their business or institution in the process).
  • Third, I will conveniently hint at how I could help their business or work effort. People are always tuned into WIIFM: What’s IIFor Me? So, if that person is a pizza owner, I’ll talk about how I eat their pizza and also coach sports teams that could frequent their business. If they are a principal, I talk about how I know people in their schools and could provide insight that could help them.

I have about a 50 percent success rate getting people I don’t know to agree to breakfast, lunch or coffee.

If they balk at a face-to-face meeting, I ask if I can stop by.

If they balk at a drop-in meeting, I put them on a “contact in three months” list.

If I am turned down outright, right after adding them to a “contact in three months” list I always send them something—a link, an article from the newspaper with a sticky note on it, a book, etc. I want them to know that I was taking them seriously and want to genuinely help them in some way.

Side Note: I never meet a woman for lunch in a restaurant. With the opposite sex, I always go to their place of employment, or we brown-bag it at the church office. I also alert certain staff that this is happening, as well as my wife.

Crank out all these emails early in the week so you’re not fielding emails on your days off. Be prepared for the back and forth you’ll have to go through to set up a time to meet. If you have an assistant, get that person all over this.

Cold-calling someone is tough, as anyone who has ever been in sales can attest.

My best piece of advice for meeting A Leaders you don’t know is to ask every A Leader you meet, “Whom do you know that I don’t know?”

One person will introduce you to another person, and then you’re off to the races. Ride that train until it comes to an end.

Step 7: Ping 25 A Leaders from Your Church Each Week

You will run out of A Leaders in the church well before you run out of ones in the community. The good news is you will work your church and community lists simultaneously.

There are two ways to set up meetings with the A Leaders connected to your church.

Hallway Conversations

When I was your size, I carried a 3 x 5 card that showed my 10 open meeting slots available the following week and in between services approached anyone that looked, walked or talked like a leader.

I’ve found it took three connections with a person in the hallways to get them to say yes.

The first time I met them I’d say, “Hey, I’d love to get together sometime,” but wouldn’t try to actually schedule something.

The second time I saw them, I’d say the same thing.

The third time I’d go in for the kill, get a yes, grab their contact information right then and there, and set up the meeting.

Pinging A Leaders From Church

The second way to meet with A Leaders from the church is to email them or call.

The approach for contacting them is the same as with the community leaders. Most will already feel a natural connection to you and want to meet.

The only difference is I ensure people I meet through church that the reason I want to meet with them has nothing to do with money.

Side Note: At this point, I don’t care whether the A Leaders I meet in the church or community are Christians are not. To me “Leadership Evangelism” doesn’t end until a person is leading in the church I serve. If I meet an A Leader in the community who is a Christian, I don’t go any further with them. I thank them for their time and move on. But if I meet a new A Leader through our church (who came from another church), I recognize that while I’m committed to growing through conversion growth, God may have brought them to the church I serve for a reason, so I treat them the same way I would anyone else and take them through the process.

Step 8: Conduct an Initial Meeting

When I walk the anxious path leading from the car to the lobby of Applebee’s to meet this person for lunch, I have a pre-determined outline for how I want the conversation to go.

It’s called F-O-R-M:

F   Family – Tell me about your family? How long have you lived here?
O   Occupation – Why did you get into what you’re doing?
R   Religion – What is your spiritual background?
M   Mission – Why do you do what you do? What makes you tick?

Whether they are a church-generated lead or someone I contacted out from the community, the first 75 percent of the conversation is always the same.

The last 25 percent depends on how I initiated the meeting.

Church-Generated Contacts

For the last 25 percent of the meeting with the people I meet through the church, I pull out a pen and draw the bridge. You’ve seen this a million times.

I’ll say, “Hey, I don’t know if anyone has ever shared this with you, but let me talk for a bit about the big idea of Christianity and ask you where you fit into it.”

I grab the person’s napkin and draw “You” on the left and “God” on the right (yes I always have a pen in my pocket). Then I create a barrier between them. I talk about how human sin created that gulf, and because God is holy, our sins must be punished. I write the word “Hell” on the bottom of the page. Then I explain that since God is also love, he sent his Son, Jesus, to die on the cross to pay the penalty of Hell (as I put a big X over the word “Hell”). The cross becomes (I draw the cross between “You” and “God”) a bridge over which we can find our way back to God.

Then I talk about what it takes to become a Christian, and then hand them the pen and ask them to place an “X” where they are right now—all the way to the left or all the way to the right (on God’s side).

Humorously, most put an “X” in the middle.

I laugh and explain why that’s an impossibility.

Then I ask the single most important question you’ll ever ask one of these A Leaders: What is preventing you from getting over to God’s side?

Once you get their answer, you’re off to the races!

The next six months, two years, or maybe even six, will be spent identifying and knocking down one barrier after another until they accept Christ and grow into full devotion as a leader.

Community-Generated Contacts

You obviously aren’t going to draw the bridge with someone you just met who is the superintendent of the school district.

At least not at the first lunch.

Instead of drawing the bridge, the last 25 percent of the conversation will be spent asking for their opinion on how you can better serve the community.

Pick their brain.

Ask them hard questions.

Ask them why they don’t move away, why they love the area, or what problem points and people to be aware of.

Get the inside scoop from someone who knows the area.

Step 9: Give Them Homework

It is at this point that I always give them homework, regardless of whether or not they are a Christian.

What I mean by “homework” is I want to give them something to read which will give me an opportunity to circle back and meet with them again. This is essential.

I usually assign, so to speak, two types of homework.

Homework Assignment #1: Myers-Briggs Personality Test

I always send everyone I meet a link to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

Then I ask them to send me their four-letter score. I tell them that I have a resource I’d love to send them that will help them understand how they can become a better leader based on an accurate understanding of how they are wired.

In fact, at some point earlier in the conversation I always ask, “Hey, are you an introvert? An extrovert? Are you a thinker or feeler on the Myers-Briggs?”

I pepper the conversation with these kinds of comments for two reasons.

One, it sets the stage for the end of the conversation for when I’ll ask them to take the test. Which means I’ll need their email address. When they email me their score, I direct them to a chapter that outlines their personality type from either Working Together by Olaf Isachsen or Type Talk at Work by Otto Kroeger.

Two, nothing enables an unchurched man to start looking inward like wanting to know more about how he’s wired. This is like pre-pre-pre-evangelism.

I know I’ve hit the emotional jackpot if I can get the guy to get his wife to take the test. That’s because I’ll direct them to the book called Just Your Type by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger which discusses, in detail, what happens when his type marries her type, and vice versa.

The majority of unchurched A Leader marriages are in pain, so one of my goals is to open up that pain, then push on it with the force of a WWE heavyweight wrestler.

That pain is what will make them aware of their need for the Gospel.

Homework Assignment #2: A Book for Non-Christians

I rarely do this after the first meeting with a community leader, but for the person I met with from a church contact, I tell them I will mail them one of the following three books depending upon which I think would be the best fit (I will mail it directly from Amazon and pay for it out of my business expenses):

A Search for the Spiritual – James Emery White

This has been my go-to book over the years. I used to keep a case in my trunk.

Finding Your Way Back to God – Dave and John Ferguson

This is slowly becoming a favorite too. I just wish it wasn’t so long. Men don’t like to read.

The Reason for God – Tim Keller

If they have copious intellectual barriers, I always lead with Keller’s masterful book.

The overall goal of giving them homework is to (a) give them something that will cause them to think and reflect in my absence and (b) give me a reason to circle back and ping them six to eight weeks later.

Step 10: Continue to Ping Those You Have Met with Every Six to Eight Weeks Until They Are Converted, Discipled and Deployed into Leadership

On average I will attempt to meet with someone every six to eight weeks for two years or more until either (a) they cut ties or (b) they are fully formed disciples in leadership.

All of my elders came from these relationships, as did the majority of my staff for the first eight years of our church.

People will ask, “What is your process for developing elders?” That’s easy: Leadership Evangelism. There is no other process.

I juggled roughly 150+ relationships like this for six years. During that time our church grew from 0 to 1,000 in a pretty resistant area.

The goal of Leadership Evangelism is to see the A Leaders God has placed in your sphere of influence fully formed in Christ and leading in your church.

Until that is accomplished, your work with that person is not done.

Once we hit 1,000 in size and the demands of staff leadership became intense, I backed that number down to 50+ where it stands now. However, I am laying the groundwork now to make another run at it in an effort to help lead our church to 3,500.

For senior pastors of larger churches, the process remains the same, but you use a wider net (i.e., you expand the radius of your search for A Leaders from 10 to 20 miles).

Leaders of churches under 1,000, I want to reiterate the promise I made to you earlier.

I believe that if you commit yourself as a senior pastor to Leadership Evangelism as I outlined, your church will double in size in three years or less.

The staff, high capacity donors, elders and front-line leaders we need at every level of our churches right now are simply waiting for us to do what Jesus and Paul would do if they were in our shoes.

So let’s get out there and find them.

This article originally appeared here.

The Power of Brutally Honest Self-Evaluation

communicating with the unchurched

I don’t always like the truth. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with truth. It means there’s something deficient in me.

What I do like…is comfort. I like to feel like things are OK. And there’s at least a 70 percent chance you’re like me in this way.

The ancient Israelites were like that, too. God sent Amos to stir them up and alert them to the dire situation they were in. He cracked through their obliviousness with this warning:

What sorrow awaits you who lounge in luxury in Jerusalem, and you who feel secure in Samaria.

– Amos 6:1 NLT

The King James reads, “Woe to you who are at ease in Zion…

Amos continues by clarifying the problem in their thinking…

You push away every thought of coming disaster, but your actions only bring the day of judgment closer.

– Amos 6:3 NLT

Amos essentially spells out a simple formula for us to follow in life…

Ignore our shortcomings…hasten the consequences of them.

I’ve often been guilty of this on multiple levels.

On a personal level, I often want to focus on how far I’ve come by looking back in celebration. Celebrating past successes is certainly OK, unless we use it as a distraction from the progress we need to make and the path that lies ahead.

On a professional level, it’s far too easy to look around and find competitors or colleagues that I can match skills and expertise against and begin to feel that I can coast if I’m at least above average.

On an organizational level, I often do my team a disservice by focusing on our accomplishments while ignoring the pieces and pockets of our work that really need revitalization.

What we typically do is wait for the crisis to come. When the crash occurs, that’s when we acknowledge that we’ve been content where we should have been concerned.

A brutal self-evaluation can be quite powerful, especially when we do it before the crisis point comes. Essentially, when we procrastinate about being honest with ourselves, we miss out on opportunities to grow. It’s comfortable, for now, but a reckoning is coming.

It’s far better to break life down into more manageable pieces and conduct self-evaluations on a more regular basis.

Instead of waiting months or years to face the truth, what if we built the practice of introspection into our daily prayer and meditation time? What if we invited the input of close friends and loved ones and gave them permission to point out concerns? What if we received regular leadership coaching with built-in accountability? What if we tracked our progress in the moment?

Nobody likes the annual review at work. Why? Because we know things have been building and our passive aggressive bosses are about to get their chance to vent what they’ve been unwilling to share with us for the last 12 months. We do the same to ourselves, however.

This is not a challenge to think negatively about yourself. I’m a big believer in being a big believer in the potential we all possess for greatness and success. I believe God wired you to succeed and gave you all that you need, spiritually, to grow by leaps and bounds.

But our positivity needs to be tempered with enough realism to diagnose the factors that hold us back from growth.

Within our church’s staff, we often ask the question, how’s your life? Among close friends, I sometimes ask, how’s your soul? And in our small groups, we try to get to the heart of how’s it really going?

Turn those questions back to yourself.

How are you, really? How’s your soul? How’s your life? Your marriage? Your leadership? Your mental, emotional and physical health?

Having evaluated yourself with brutal honesty, you can know that God is for you! He is determined to finish the work of growing and maturing you. You get to go forward! You get the privilege of experiencing new levels of personal development.

You get closer to the prize…because you were honest.

This article originally appeared here.

Reading Wars

communicating with the unchurched

I am going through a personal crisis. I used to love reading. I am writing this blog in my office, surrounded by 27 tall bookcases laden with some 5,000 books. Over the years I have read them, marked them up and recorded the annotations in a computer database for potential references in my writing. To a large degree, they have formed my professional and spiritual life.

Books help define who I am. They have ushered me on a journey of faith, have introduced me to the wonders of science and the natural world, have informed me about issues such as justice and race. More, they have been a source of delight and adventure and beauty, opening windows to a reality I would not otherwise know.

My crisis consists in the fact that I am describing my past, not my present. I used to read three books a week. One year I devoted an evening each week to read all of Shakespeare’s plays (OK, due to interruptions it actually took me two years). Another year I read the major works of Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. But I am reading many fewer books these days, and even fewer of the kinds of books that require hard work.

The Internet and social media have trained my brain to read a paragraph or two, and then start looking around. When I read an online article from The Atlantic or The New Yorker, after a few paragraphs I glance over at the slide bar to judge the article’s length. My mind strays, and I find myself clicking on the sidebars and the underlined links. Soon I’m over at CNN.com reading Donald Trump’s latest tweets and details of the latest terrorist attack, or perhaps checking tomorrow’s weather.

Worse, I fall prey to the little boxes that tell me, “If you like this article [or book], you’ll also like…” Or I glance at the bottom of the screen and scan the teasers for more engaging tidbits: 30 Amish Facts That’ll Make Your Skin Crawl; Top 10 Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions; Walmart Cameras Captured These Hilarious Photos. A dozen or more clicks later I have lost interest in the original article.

Neuroscientists have an explanation for this phenomenon. When we learn something quick and new, we get a dopamine rush; functional-MRI brain scans show the brain’s pleasure centers lighting up. In a famous experiment, rats keep pressing a lever to get that dopamine rush, choosing it over food or sex. In humans, emails also satisfy that pleasure center, as do Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat.

Nicholas Carr’s book The Shallows analyzes the phenomenon, and its subtitle says it all: “What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains.” Carr spells out that most Americans, and young people especially, are showing a precipitous decline in the amount of time spent reading. He says, “Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.” A 2016 Nielsen report calculates that the average American devotes more than 10 hours per day to consuming media—including radio, TV and all electronic devices. That constitutes 65 percent of waking hours, leaving little time for the much harder work of focused concentration on reading.

In The Gutenberg Elegies, Sven Birkerts laments the loss of “deep reading,” which requires intense concentration, a conscious lowering of the gates of perception, and a slower pace.  His book hit me with the force of conviction, intensifying my sense of crisis. I keep putting off Charles Taylor’s A Secular Age, and look at my shelf full of Jürgen Moltmann’s theology books with a feeling of nostalgia—why am I not reading books like that now?

An article in Business Insider* studied such pioneers as Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Mark Zuckerberg. Most of them have in common a practice the author calls the “five-hour rule”: they set aside at least an hour a day (or five hours a week) for deliberate learning. For example:

  • Bill Gates reads 50 books a year.
  • Mark Zuckerberg reads at least one book every two weeks.
  • Elon Musk grew up reading two books a day.
  • Mark Cuban reads for more than three hours every day.
  • Arthur Blank, a cofounder of Home Depot, reads two hours a day.

When asked about his secret to success, Warren Buffett pointed to a stack of books and said, “Read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not many of you will…” Charles Chu, who quoted Buffett on the Quartz website, acknowledges that 500 pages a day is beyond reach for all but a few people. Nevertheless, neuroscience proves what each of these busy people have found: It actually takes less energy to focus intently than to zip from task to task. After an hour of contemplation, or deep reading, a person ends up less tired and less neurochemically depleted, thus more able to tackle mental challenges.

If we can’t reach Buffett’s high reading bar, what is a realistic goal? Charles Chu calculates that at an average reading speed of 400 words per minute, it would take 417 hours in a year to read 200 books—less than the 608 hours the average American spends on social media, or the 1,642 hours watching TV. “Here’s the simple truth behind reading a lot of books,” says Quartz: “It’s not that hard. We have all the time we need. The scary part—the part we all ignore—is that we are too addicted, too weak and too distracted to do what we all know is important.”**

Though Chu underestimates the average book length at 50,000 words, his conclusion still applies. Now I really feel guilty. In the last two years, Chu has read more than 400 books cover to cover. Willpower alone is not enough, he says. We need to construct what he calls “a fortress of habits.” I like that image. Recently I checked author Annie Dillard’s website, in which she states, “I can no longer travel, can’t meet with strangers, can’t sign books but will sign labels with SASE, can’t write by request, and can’t answer letters. I’ve got to read and concentrate. Why? Beats me.” Now that’s a fortress.

I’ve concluded that a commitment to reading is an ongoing battle, somewhat like the battle against the seduction of Internet pornography. We have to build a fortress with walls strong enough to withstand the temptations of that powerful dopamine rush while also providing shelter for an environment that allows deep reading to flourish. Christians especially need that sheltering space, for quiet meditation is one of the most important spiritual disciplines.

As a writer in the age of social media, I host a Facebook page and a website and write an occasional blog. Thirty years ago I got a lot of letters from readers, and they did not expect an answer for a week or more. Now I get emails, and if they don’t hear back in two days they write again, “Did you get my email?” The tyranny of the urgent crowds in around me.

If I yield to that tyranny, my life fills with mental clutter. Boredom, say the researchers, is when creativity happens. A wandering mind wanders into new, unexpected places. When I retire to the mountains and unplug for a few days, something magical takes place. I’ll go to bed puzzling over a roadblock in my writing, and the next morning wake up with the solution crystal-clear—something that never happens when I spend my spare time cruising social media and the Internet.

I find that poetry helps. You can’t zoom through poetry; it forces you to slow down, think, concentrate, relish words and phrases. I now try to begin each day with a selection from George Herbert, Gerard Manley Hopkins or R.S. Thomas.

For deep reading, I’m searching for an hour a day when mental energy is at a peak, not a scrap of time salvaged from other tasks. I put on headphones and listen to soothing music, shutting out distractions.

Deliberately, I don’t text. I used to be embarrassed when I pulled out my antiquated flip phone, which my wife says should be donated to a museum. Now I pocket it with a kind of perverse pride, feeling sorry for the teenagers who check their phones on average two thousand times a day.

We’re engaged in a war, and technology wields the heavy weapons. Rod Dreher published a bestseller called The Benedict Option, in which he urged people of faith to retreat behind monastic walls as the Benedictines did—after all, they preserved literacy and culture during one of the darkest eras of human history. I don’t completely agree with Dreher, though I’m convinced that the preservation of reading will require something akin to the Benedict option.

I’m still working on that fortress of habit, trying to resurrect the rich nourishment that reading has long provided for me. If only I can resist clicking on the link that promises 30 Amish Facts That’ll Make Your Skin Crawl…

*http://www.businessinsider.com/bill-gates-warren-buffet-and-oprah-all-use-the-5-hour-rule-2017-7.
**https://qz.com/895101/in-the-time-you-spend-on-social-media-each-year-you-could-read-200-books

This article originally appeared here.

Home City of Peter, Andrew and Philip Uncovered by Archaeologists

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Archaeologists have discovered a lost Roman city, located on the northern shore of the Sea of Galilee. Based on the discoveries, historians and archaeologists believe it was the home city of the disciples Peter, Andrew and Philip.

Ruins of a Roman bathhouse—the trademark of established Roman cities—was discovered, along with glass mosaic pieces, pottery sherds and two coins.

The three disciples were from Bethsaida, we are told in Scripture. We also know from historical accounts recorded by Josephus that King Philip Herod took the Jewish settlement from a small fishing village to a proper Roman polis (city). However, archaeologists are not clear yet whether the Roman city Julias was built on top of Bethsaida or near it. But the relative location, known today as el-Araj, is the same.

That’s not to say that everyone is on board with passing this finding off as Julias. Other theories include two nearby sites. However, due to what archaeologists believe were miscalculations done to determine the water level of the Sea of Galilee during the Roman period, most now believe that el-Araj would have been above the water line, and its location on the delta of the River Jordan make it the prime candidate for the city.

While the first headlines announcing the discovery claimed the “Roman Home of Jesus’s Disciples Discovered in Israel,” the academic director of the el-Araj excavations, Steven Notley of Nyack College, is urging people not to jump to conclusions before more has been excavated.

What the headlines refer to is the discovery of walls with gilded glass tesserae (the small pieces used for mosaics), which might be evidence of a well-off church from the Byzantine period. According to Willibald, a bishop from Bavaria who visited the Holy Land in 725 C.E., there was a church at Bethsaida that was built over the house of Peter and Andrew. Hence, the speculation and hasty headline.

However, as much as Notley prescribes patience as the team continues excavations, things are looking pretty positive that this might, in fact, be Bethsaida. Speaking to National Geographic, Notley says:

“[What Willibard’s account] tells us is that in the Byzantine period we have living memory of the site of Bethsaida and identifies it with the Gospel tradition… Only time will tell if (1) our site has the Byzantine church, and (2) it is correctly situated on the site of first-century Bethsaida.”

Notley adds, “I think our prospects of an affirmative answer on these two points is very, very good.”

7 Common Reasons Churches Have a Dramatic Decline in Attendance

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“Where did everyone go?”

A business executive asked that question when she returned to her church after some extended international travels. In the four weeks she was out, the attendance at the church had declined from nearly 600 to under 400. The attendance had plummeted in that short time by 35 percent!

To be clear, such rapid declines are aberrations. Most declining churches go through incremental, not dramatic, reductions.

We consider a church to be in dramatic decline when the average worship attendance drops by 20 percent or more in three months or less. What causes such unusual declines? Here are seven common reasons:

  1. A scandal in the church. The two most common are sexual and financial scandals. Either of those can cause immediate erosion of trust and send members out the door.
  2. Sudden departure of a pastor or staff person. I am familiar with a church where the average attendance dropped from 1,250 to 850 in just a few weeks when a malevolent power group in the church forced the pastor out. The congregation never heard a reasonable reason for the departure because there was none. The church has not recovered.
  3. Closure or decline of a major employer. Some communities are highly dependent on one or a few employers. When any one of those employers close, people who are members of churches in the community will often depart rather quickly. I saw this reality transpire many times during the great recession and when several military bases closed.
  4. The church changes its position on a major biblical/moral issue. When a church makes a major doctrinal shift, many members often exit quickly. That exit is often exacerbated if the doctrinal change is related to a moral issue.
  5. A power group continues to wreak havoc in a church. The story is not uncommon. The same power group opposes any change again and again. Pastoral tenure declines due to the leaders’ frustration with this group. At some point a large group in the church declares “enough” and departs en masse.
  6. Another church moves close by. The new church or newly located church offers ministries and programs the affected church does not have. Often these ministries are particularly appealing to families who still have children at home. Those families move to the new church to try to keep their children interested and excited about church life.
  7. A highly contentious business meeting. These churches have typically experienced conflict for some time. The conflict comes to a boiling point in a business meeting. Large numbers leave due to anger, weariness or both.

Admittedly, this level of decline is not common, but I am seeing it more frequently. It is my prayer that these seven reasons can also serve as seven warning signs.

It is incredibly difficult for any church to recover fully from such a massive exodus.

This article originally appeared here.

Because One Day Your Kids Will Stop Bugging You (Really)

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You may have a toddler right now who won’t leave your side.

You know the kind. The kid who’s glued to your leg, velcroed to your arm, who keeps wanting you to read the same story again, and again, and again.

It’s driving you nuts some days, isn’t it?

Hard to believe, but one day, they’re going to withdraw.

Ask any parent who has middle schoolers. Or teenagers. It happens…they withdraw.

And you know what happens to most parents?

Most parents have no idea what to do. So they do this: When their kids withdraw, they withdraw.

Why wouldn’t you? I mean it kind of works like that in life, doesn’t it? When someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, you eventually give up and withdraw. Which only makes sense. You can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t want to be your friend.

Except that in this case, you’re family. The dynamic isn’t that straightforward.

So what do you do?

As a father of two sons, now 19 and 23, I can give you a few pointers. I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. I just have been confused by it long enough and have enough scars to write a few hundred words on the subject.

Basically, if you’ve got a kid who thinks Minecraft is far more interesting than Mom, or a son who doesn’t want to watch movies with you but seems to want to watch anything and everything with their friends, what do you do?

1. Get over your hurt.

Just admit it. It kind of hurts a little. You pour your heart into them, get up at 5 a.m. to take them to practice, do homework with them on nights when your brain should have had a rest hours ago, fund everything, and suddenly they find you…uninteresting.

As much as that kind of stinks, you’re the parent. Get over it. Your job isn’t to be their friend, it’s to be their parent.

2. Be around.

When my oldest started high school, he told me, “Hey dad…why can’t you just be like other dads and simply hang around more?” It was weird to me to hear that, because I was home a lot. But he was right. I was always busy. Being a driven person who loves what he does, I was always working on a new project or writing something new.

The penny dropped. So basically I just need to hang around and do nothing or at least not be preoccupied? I didn’t know if I had a category for that.

But I tried. I decided to hang around the house night after night with no particular agenda, just to see what happened.

The first night my oldest son went out after supper to hang out with friends and my other son was tied up with something else. I thought, well this is stupid. I wanted to go get busy with something. But my wife persisted. So I decided to give it more time.

And after a while, we started connecting much more. No agenda. Nothing pressing. Just by virtue of being in the same space in the same time repeatedly, we connected. And I learned this. While being around is no guarantee anything relationally significant will happen, not being around is an absolute guarantee nothing relationally significant will happen.

So be around.

3. Leverage the ordinary.  

Your rhythm changes as your kids get older. Tucking your 5-year-old into bed is an amazingly glorious ritual. Tucking your 15-year-old into bed every night is just weird. You lose a lot of the rhythms of childhood when your kids get older. And if you keep invading the space they spend with their friends, you lose major points.

But there are other opportunities. Meal times are a case in point.

Take the time to eat a meal together…not in the car…not standing at the kitchen breakfast bar sucking back a smoothie on your way out the door, but at a real table, with real chairs, with real forks and real knives. And chew your food. If you take 15-30 minutes to have dinner together and turn off all your devices, amazing things happen. Amazing things like conversations. No matter how busy our lives get, we always try to sit down together for five dinners a week. If you prioritize it, it can happen.

Another great opportunity is during your drive time. I know, you feel like a taxi service. So leverage that. Turn the music off…or up, depending on your mood. Don’t talk on the phone. Stop texting (especially if you’re driving), and talk. Conversations in the car can go deeper faster because you haven’t got the pressure of looking at each other.

So what happens when all this happens?

Well, you grow up. They grow up. And sometimes, they have a habit of coming around.

I’m writing this after having lunch with my eldest son and his wife at a Mexican restaurant they found near their place in Toronto. He had called the day earlier and said, “Hey Dad, you and mom want to come down after church? We’d love to hang out with you guys.”

My other son now calls and texts from university out of town…even when he doesn’t need money. Imagine that.

Just remember this. When your kids withdraw, don’t withdraw. It’s so worth the fight.

This article originally appeared here.

How Long Should Your Small Group Meeting Last? (You Might Be Surprised)

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Over the years I’ve surveyed over 4,000 small group leaders to uncover the key elements that produce vital, growing groups. I’ve consistently asked the leaders how long their meetings are. But I’ve been too busy looking at other things and actually never analyzed how the length of a small group meeting impacts their growth.

I finally took the time to do this. Wow! I was shocked by the results. I think you will be, too. Or maybe you’re smarter than I am.

Small Group Meeting Stats

In this round of research I surveyed 1,140 small group leaders in 47 different U.S. churches.

The specific question I asked them about their meeting length was: “Normally our small group meetings last:” to which they could answer:

a. Less than 60 minutes
b. 60-90 minutes
c. 91-120 minutes
d. 121-150 minutes (2.5 hours)
e. More than 150 minutes

Just 2.3 percent said that a normal meeting of their group lasts less than 60 minutes, 34.4 percent said that their meetings go 60-90 minutes, almost half (45.8 percent) said that their meetings are 91-120 minutes, 14.2 percent had meetings 121-150 minutes, and 3.2 percent said that their meetings are more than 150 minutes or two and one-half hours long.

I compared the length of group meetings to four small group growth measures:

1. The number of people visiting the group.

2. The number of people coming to Christ through the influence of the group.

3. The number of people joining the group.

4. The number of new groups and leaders emerging from the groups.

I found the length of meeting only impacts the third of these growth factors, the number of people joining the group.

There’s One of These in (Almost) Every Church

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Young pastors enter the ministry expecting the people of the Lord to be healthy, sane, balanced, spiritual, biblically informed and Holy Spirit guided.

And then they run into reality.

The image of “running into a buzz-saw” comes to mind.

Some of them do not survive the experience, bless their hearts. But we remind them—when we have the opportunity—that our Lord said those who are whole do not need a physician (Matthew 9:12). If they were all healthy, sane, balanced, etc., etc., they would not need a pastor.

You are there for those who are the unhealthy, unbalanced, spiritually immature and so forth.

Sometimes, it’s a leader in the church who blindsides you.

Here’s my story (see my two notes at the end)…

First, the background.

Soon after I came to that church, I set out to visit all the deacons. If I was going to be able to pastor this troubled congregation (they’d been through a terrible split 18 months before I came; half the members remained to deal with several million dollars of debt), I’d need their help.

One evening in the home of Tommy and Doris, he showed me his certificates and diplomas on the wall. This man was thoroughly trained in the Lord’s work, if the framed papers were any indication. At one point he said, “But pastor, they won’t let me serve in our church. I want so much to be used of the Lord. I have these skills and training and the call of God.”

My eagerness to bless and help and affirm overrode my good sense at this point.

I said something like, “Well, we’ll see about this. We can always use a good man with your skills and abilities. We will definitely put you to work.”

The next morning, I related this to our assistant pastor, a godly friend who had served our church for many years. He said, “Oh, pastor, I need to tell you about Tommy. He kills everything he touches.”

At one point they put him over the church’s bus ministry, and he killed it. They put him in charge of the senior adult ministry, but he began ordering people around like he was the CEO and ran them off. Finally, they realized the truth about Brother Tommy: He did not want to serve people; he wanted to lord it over them. He did not want to be a minister; he wanted to be “somebody” with an office and a title.

That’s why they could no longer use him in any position in the church. Tommy had not told me that they had tried him in various ministries and that he had bombed out.

Question: Have you ever told someone they cannot serve in the church because they kill everything they touch?  Imagine my trying to convey this to Tommy without destroying the man.

That was long ago and I have no memory of the details of my attempts to let him down easily. But evidently, I was not direct enough.

Now, the next stage of this story.

My journal for that year records a subsequent confrontation with Tommy, one I had completely forgotten. (I think you’ll see why; it was unpleasant.)

“Friday, July 3. Had 1:30 appointment with (Tommy). Nearing 60, he is a ‘ne’er-do-well,’ a deacon, a Sunday School teacher, took bankruptcy last year, lives off his wife’s earnings, says was called to ministry a few years back and got a masters of divinity from seminary. Had a short, failing stint as pastor of (name of church) and has approached me twice wanting a position on our staff. He has conducted a full campaign behind the scenes with church members for the associate pastor position when (present assistant) retires.

“His brother Bobby told me that Tommy only wants honor and position, but not work. When I inquired with our leaders last year, they were quick and unanimous in saying Tommy offends people and runs them off. So now, he had made an appointment to see me for the position.

“The visit was quiet, humble and candid. I told him I could not find any of our leaders who favored putting him to work, and that these were people who knew him.

“When he persisted, I said, “I’ve heard from several that you run people off. Now, Tommy, when I’m running references on a prospective staff member and they tell me he runs people off, that’s the end of the conversation. I don’t need to know anything else.”

(But he wasn’t through. The sheer gall of this man was amazing.)

He suggested that we pray about it. I said, “I have prayed about it over the last year.”

He: “And so have I. And God told me that I’m the one for this position.”

I said, “Tommy, several times over the years I have had people send me their resume saying, ‘The Lord is leading me to join your staff.’ I always respond, ‘As soon as He tells me, we can talk about it. But not until then.’

Tommy: “But I said God is leading one way and you say the opposite. What do we do then?”

Me: “Well, that’s true, but I’m the one who has to make the decision. And I say ‘no.’”

Tommy: “Well, I’m going to talk to other church members and get their counsel and get them to praying.”

Me: “Tommy, I’m your pastor and I’m asking you not to do that.”

Tommy: “Why?”

Me: “Because it’s over. I’m sorry. You’ve applied for the job and I’ve talked to people who know you and none of them support you in this. So, I’m turning you down. I’m sorry. I love you. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything.”

“He wanted to teach the huge auditorium Bible class. I said this will be filled through the Minister of Education and the Sunday School director, and that we have a good prospect in mind, but I do not know if he has accepted yet.

“We prayed together and he left.”

SUNDAY, JULY 5. “Got word tonight that Tommy is phoning selected church members inviting to a meeting Thursday night at (a deacon’s) home. The chairman of deacons heard of it and asked (another deacon who is also a lawyer) to find Tommy and stop this in its tracks. Said for me not to worry, that they will handle.

MONDAY, JULY 6. Chairman called. He’s found out that Tommy was calling people together only to pray for him, that the Lord would open up a ministry. Later, Tommy called me and said the same. “But because so many think I’m trying to stir up a movement against you, I’ve called them all and canceled the meeting.” He told the deacons to remove him from the board.

“He ended by pointing out that our personalities conflict. I haven’t seen a conflict of personalities. The man is strange, that’s all. But not unlikeable.”

The rest of the story…

Tommy and his wife soon joined another church. The next time I saw the pastor of that church, I called him off to the side to warn him. He smiled, “Joe, they used to belong to my church. We know them well.”

After a year or two, they moved to another state. That’s the last I heard of them. I hope things worked out for them.

Pastors, you’re going to have these in your church. Do not be blind-sided.

Church leaders, you should stand with your pastor when he resists the difficult one who demands a position in the church. That person can rally supporters and family members and make life difficult for the minister unless the mature leaders support the pastor. Often, this unbalanced person is a longtime friend of yours. You will be forced to decide whether the welfare of the church—and the effectiveness of its ministries—are worth your risking that friendship.

Only people of courage should be called leaders of the church. God bless you.

FIRST NOTE: Readers may wonder about my telling such a story that involved a real person in one of my churches. First, it was many years ago. Then, I changed his name. Next, most of those in the story are no longer living. None are still in that church. Finally, I’m 74 years old; how long do I have to wait before writing this? (smiley-face here) Someone asks why it needs to be written in the first place? Answer: Almost everything in this website is to help pastors and other church leaders. That’s why.

SECOND NOTE: In an entry in the journal from August 17, we have this: “According to senior adult (lady; named), Tommy is representing himself as a minister and from our church. He visits shutins and runs me down to them. Tries to get people to call on him if they need a funeral (!). The chairman of deacons has set up an appointment with Tommy in my office for next Friday. Tommy told the chairman, “Brother Joe and I are 180 degrees apart on our theology.” I laughed and said, “Well, I love Jesus, believe the Bible and want to see people saved. Is he opposite?” The chairman said, ‘I’ve caught him in a lie. We need to confront him.’ Tommy canceled the Friday meeting and resisted all subsequent efforts to meet with us. Finally, they left the church. 

This article originally appeared here.

15 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor

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When I wrote my second book 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them, I surveyed over 2,000 pastors through LifeWay Research and through an online survey through Christianity Today. In the CT survey, I asked pastors to share specific ways someone in their congregation ministered to them. I probed how people could (and did) encourage them. Here’s a sample of what they wrote. If you are not a pastor, consider doing one or two of these this week to encourage your pastor.

How to encourage your pastor …

  1. Defending me when someone attacks me verbally.
  2. Commenting on their understanding of my challenges.
  3. When hand-written notes come from godly people they mean so much.
  4. I think the greatest affirmation I receive is when my congregation trusts me.
  5. I would say it would be the time I received a homemade card from someone in the church telling me how much she appreciated me and that she was praying for me. Those words of encouragement were priceless.
  6. I don’t feel like I always have to be right, but I do like to have the opportunity to express my own views. Those who are most receptive to this are very affirming.
  7. Asking me how they can pray for me. I’m not talking about the hurried, polite questions that may come on a hectic Sunday morning, but when they genuinely ask.
  8. The ministry of presence like when they sat with me in the hospital when my wife had emergency surgery.
  9. When people go out of their way to really inquire how I’m doing.
  10. Anything not related to Sunday. I hear a lot of “great message, Pastor” but I don’t know if it’s sincere. A phone call a few days later that refers to something I did affirms me.
  11. The occasional person who tells me that “so and so” spoke kindly about me.
  12. When I know I have the support of my leadership.
  13. Those who know there is a spiritual and emotional cost to being a pastor even if they don’t really understand.
  14. They have come into my life and family and done something totally unexpected, unexplainable and absolutely needed (came and cleaned our house when were sick, fixed a meal for us when times were tough, etc.).
  15. When a person takes the time to pay attention to my emotions I experience and conveys their desire to stand in prayer with me on issues that are troubling.

When a pastor faithfully serves and seldom receives encouragement from their church, their soul and passion can wither and die. This is the saddest response I received.

Most think the pastor needs no encouragement or affirmation but think that we should always be aware of his or her need for encouragement and affirmation. In 30 years of pastoring I would say that no more than a dozen times have people ever shown awareness.

If you are a pastor, what act of kindness from those in the church has encouraged you most?


“If you want to encourage your pastor, here’s how.” (tweet this quote by clicking here).

This article about how to encourage your pastor originally appeared here.

Jim Carrey’s Artistic Rendition of the Face of Jesus is Amazing

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Jim Carrey: I Need color from SGG on Vimeo.

Actor Jim Carrey is a prolific artist. One of his favorite subjects to paint? Jesus.

In the following video, Carrey explains how art has impacted him. Art has an “immediacy to it,” he says, almost reverently. Painting frees him from “the past, the future, regret, and worry.”

Growing up, Carrey says he “Spent half the time in my living room, performing for people. The other half of the time in my room, sketching. Alone.”

Carrey’s studio is full of all kinds of works of art from sculptures to paintings to sketches. One subject he returns to time and again is the face of Jesus.

“The energy that surrounds Jesus is electric. I don’t know if Jesus is real; I don’t know if he lived; I don’t know what he means. But the paintings of Jesus are really my desire to convey Christ consciousness. I wanted you to have the feeling when you look in his eyes that he was accepting of who you are. I wanted him to be able to stare at you and heal you from the painting.”

As far as what Jesus might have looked like, Carrey has this to say: “You can find every race in the face of Jesus. And I think that’s how every race imagines Jesus. They imagine him as their own.”

For Carrey, art is about love. “The bottom line with all of this—whether it’s performance or it’s art or it’s sculpture—is love. We want to show ourselves and have that be accepted. I love being alive and the art is the evidence of that.”

While Carrey is clearly on the fence about knowing Jesus as Savior, his words about Jesus and his connection with art point to a seeking soul.

Vatican to American Catholics: Do Not Join Fundamentalist Evangelicals in ‘Ecumenism of Hate’

Vatican
Pope Francis meets Antonio Spadaro director of the Jesuit magazine "˜Civiltà Cattolicà' on February 9, 2017 at the Vatican. Photo by Sipa USA(Sipa via AP Images)

A controversial article published by the Italian Jesuit-affiliated “La Civilta Cattolica” has many American evangelicals incensed and has prompted President Trump’s evangelical advisory board to request a meeting with the Vatican.

The article is called “Evangelical Fundamentalism and Catholic Integralism: A Surprising Ecumenism” and was written by Antonio Spadaro and Marcelo Figueroa. Spadaro is an Italian priest and the editor in chief of “La Civilta Cattolica.” Figueroa is an Argentine Presbyterian pastor and the editor in chief of L’Osservatore Romano. Both have connections with Pope Francis.

Published on July 13, 2017, it quickly drew the attention of the American church at large due to the author’s connections with the Pope and the sheer range of accusations it makes against evangelical fundamentalism.

If you’re wondering what, exactly, the authors mean by evangelical fundamentalism, the article outlines the worldview this group holds, one formed by a handful of principles dating from the early 1900s that have “been gradually radicalized.” The authors cite Lyman Stewart’s 12-volume work “The Fundamentals” as the genesis of this dangerous movement.

Among Stewart’s claims were that America is a nation blessed by God, which will rise and fall (economically, militarily, etc.) based on how literally it adheres to the Bible. Historically, this group has called out movements such as the black civil rights movement, the hippy movement, communism, the feminist movement, and presently Migrants and Muslims, as being antithetical to its aims. This group thinks of America as a Promised Land, one that must be expunged of foreigners and then defended—a view that is justified by a literal reading of the Old Testament accounts of Israel doing the same things to carve out a nation for itself.

Followers of fundamentalism include the likes of Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush.

A second main influence on the fundamentalist evangelicals has been the work of Pastor Rousas John Rushdoony, the father of “Christian reconstructionism” or “dominionist theology.” Essentially, Rushdoony’s philosophy marries religion and politics, calling for the submission of the state to the Bible. The authors compare this thinking with Islamic fundamentalism and the driving force behind jihadism. Due to this similarity, the authors state, “It is not just accidental that George W. Bush was seen as a ‘great crusader’ by Osama bin Laden.”

Followers of Rushdoony’s philosophy include Steve Bannon, the Chief Strategist in President Trump’s administration.

Briefly, these are the concerns the authors see with American fundamentalist evangelicals:

An obsession with guns and war

The author states some pastors in this movement use Scripture out of context to assimilate war with “the heroic conquests of the ‘Lord of Hosts’ of Gideon and David.” Further, they fail to take into account “the bond between capital and profits and arms sales.”

Refusal to acknowledge climate change

Fundamentalist evangelicals are desensitized to the evidence scientists bring regarding climate change. The group feels that the whole concern is simply ecologists’ attempts to undermine the Christian faith. Their view of creation is a literal reading of Genesis, in which God gave man dominion over the earth and therefore creation is subject to the will of man. Most pointedly on this issue, when fundamentalists hear of natural disasters ecologists attribute to climate change, they understand it to be signs of the impending seven bowls of God’s wrath spoken of in Revelation. This, Spadaro and Figueroa argue, is a consequence of their literal interpretation of Scripture.

The ends justify the means thinking informing global issues

Fundamentalist evangelicals’ view of the world ending in some epic battle between God and Satan, good and evil, skews their thinking around politics, social justice and global issues. “Every process (be it of peace, dialogue, etc.) collapses before the needs of the end, the final battle against the enemy,” the article argues.

The prosperity gospel

The prosperity gospel says “God desires his followers to be physically healthy, materially rich and personally happy.” It has launched many celebrity pastors into fame and fortune as they “mix marketing, strategic direction and preaching, concentrating more on personal success than on salvation or eternal life.”

Next, the article cuts to the chase for American Catholics: There has been an increasing move of Catholics to align with these fundamentalist evangelicals over issues such as “abortion, same-sex marriage, religious education in schools and other matters generally considered moral or tied to values.” What unites these groups is a “nostalgic dream of a theocratic type of state”—a state in which “walls and purifying deportations” rid it of enemies such as Muslims.

This ecumenism between Catholics and fundamentalist evangelicals is different than the ecumenism Pope Francis is trying to achieve, the article states. “His is an ecumenism that moves under the urge of inclusion, peace, encounter and bridges.”

It is unclear what approval, if any, Pope Francis gave for the article. However, as Time Magazine reports, it was approved by the Vatican’s Secretariat of State.

In response to the article, Johnnie Moore, who is a spokesperson for Trump’s evangelical advisory group, sent a request to the Archdiocese of Washington to meet with Pope Francis.

“It’s in this moment of ongoing persecution, political division and global conflict that we have also witnessed efforts to divide Catholics and Evangelicals. We think it would be of great benefit to sit together and to discuss these things. Then, when we disagree we can do it within the context of friendship. Though, I’m sure we will find once again that we agree far more than we disagree, and we can work together with diligence on those areas of agreement,” the letter reads.

As of yet, no response from the Archdiocese of Washington or the Vatican has been made public.

Why We Need More Courageous Worship Leaders

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It’s not just artists who need inspiration. It isn’t only writers who face writer’s block. At times, leaders can lose their leadership edge. And that’s a problem.

Because if there’s one thing I know, momentum rises and falls on leadership. And leadership is hard. But you knew that. Even if you’re a natural leader, it’s a lonely place to be.

It’s easier for someone else to call the shots. Make the decisions. Be responsible.

But as a local church Worship Pastor, you’re going to have to lead. Or someone on your team is going to start leading you. That’s the reality of any team. If you don’t lead and set the tone of your culture, someone else will.

But we resist leadership. I resist leadership. I see so many resist the call to lead. Here’s a few reasons why:

  • FEAR – Maybe someone on your team has been difficult and opinionated. You don’t want that confrontation. Maybe you’re afraid of making the wrong decision.
  • LACK OF PREPARATION – It’s difficult to lead when you don’t know what you’re doing. If you step into a rehearsal, a meeting, a conversation without a plan of what you’re going to say or lead, it can be paralyzing.
  • NOT CARING – If you don’t care about what you’re doing, or have a vision for the end result, everything will suffer.

But a true leader trades ease for influence. What is the easy path? The easy path is the path of least resistance. But without resistance you never grow. Without tension, strength is never developed.

And this is precisely the place where many worship departments flounder. Frustrations arise. Momentum is lost. The place where leadership dies. What happens when a leader stops leading? You begin to maintain—a ministry maintains what has worked in the past and simply tries to keep the train on the tracks. There’s no innovation, no edge, no forward momentum into new Kingdom territory.

So consider this a call—a call for worship leaders to lead. Too many worship leaders are leading because of the title on their job description, but they’re not actually accomplishing much. But your church deserves more. Your people deserve more. You deserve to be the leader God has equipped you to be.

Now is the time to rise up.

5 Ways to Create Momentum as a Leader

But you may be stuck. You’ve probably led well in the past but aren’t sure where to go, what to do. Here are a few things that may help:

1. Try Something New – Nothing kills creativity more than continuing to do what you’ve always done. Introduce a new song. Try a new instrument. Experiment with a unique service flow. Shorten worship. Extend worship. Do all upbeat songs. Do no upbeat songs. Wherever you’re stuck, get yourself out by doing something different than you’ve done before.

2. Make a Decision – You may not have it fully researched. It may not be the best decision. But it is a decision. For too long you’ve sat on a bunch of ideas and let your ministry stagnate. You’ve let fear get the best of you. Make a decision and follow through. This will give you some momentum to continue growing, morphing and changing.

3. Study a Leader Who Inspires You – One of the most important things a leader can do is get around other leaders. Whether that’s in person or from afar, study the leadership of leaders who are further along than you are. As musicians, we always talk about our influences. We mention who we learned our vocal phrasing from or guitar tone or playing style. But if you’re a leader in the local church, you need to be able to name some leaders you’re influenced by.

4. Do Something – There’s nothing that feels better than actually making something happen. Set something in motion. Make that phone call. Start writing that song. Draft out that stage design. Don’t worry about being impressive and don’t stress about the quality yet. Just do what you’ve put off doing. Stop only reviewing that checklist. Make it happen. Sometimes it’s the small victories that create massive wins. Want to know what a lot of productive people do every day? Make their bed. Don’t neglect the power of small victories.

5. Recruit Someone – Pick up the phone and ask someone to help you with a project. Recruit them to join your team. Make a human connection beyond social media and email. Leadership can’t only be accomplished behind a desk on a computer. It’s more than firing off orders via email & text. Connect with someone and invite them to tackle a mountain with you.

What about you? How do you get out of your leadership funk? How do gain momentum as a leader?

This article originally appeared here.

3 Ways the Gospel Might Divide a Church

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“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.” — Matthew 10:34-36

A curious thing happens when a church and its shepherds are committed to this radical notion of gospel-centrality. If we will focus on the biblical Jesus, we will tend to be motivated to reach and primed to attract the same kind of people the biblical Jesus did. And while most church folks like the ideas of mission and church growth, when the rubber meets the road in your proclamational engagement, you will find quite a few of those same agreeable souls eager to pump the brakes.

Why does this happen?

Well, the same gospel that by its nature unifies also tends to divide. We don’t usually expect this kind of division in a local church—we are typically otherwise fearful about conflict arising from music styles, programming choices and personality types—but the gospel can divide a church just as easily as it might a family. But actually there’s nothing more prone to stirring up mess than the grace of God that has arrived to create order.

Whenever the gospel is faithfully preached, people get poked in the idols. And people don’t like that.

How does this happen?

Here are three common ways the gospel might cause division:

1. The gospel critiques the self-righteous. The very news of the good news is that we are saved not by our works but by Christ’s work. Our righteousness merits us nothing. In fact, our righteousness can often “get in the way” of our believing in and enjoying the finished work of Christ. People who are preoccupied with their own performance, how they come across religiously or their position in the church as based on their gifts, intellect, tenure or social standing often find the regular and copious teaching of grace discombobulating.

I once followed up with a long-time church lady on a sustained absence from worship, and was surprised to hear her say she had stopped coming because we had a certain man serving as a Sunday morning greeter. I asked her if he had hurt her in some way or if she knew of some ongoing sin in his life we ought to know. She couldn’t really speak to either of those concerns but instead said many people in our small town remembered what he was like (before his salvation), so it was not good for our image to have him be the first face somebody saw.

Before he came to Christ, he was sort of an “angry cuss” and given to drunkenness too. He was, by God’s grace, not like that any more—in fact, many of us who only knew him post-conversion only knew how incredibly friendly and joyful and generous and helpful and eager to serve this guy was. But she could not forget his past. He was not the “right sort.”

She said to me, “I just like things black and white. This is too much gray.”

Really, it was the opposite. The gospel had washed him white as snow, but in her mind the “math” of the gospel didn’t add up. It messed with her sense of propriety and religious decency. She was suffering from what Dane Ortlund calls the “moral vertigo” of the gospel.

You will see this response happen quite often among the self-righteous and the religiously proud, and in fact, if you preach grace hard enough, you will begin to expose over time self-righteousness and religious pride in people (maybe even yourself) where you didn’t even know it existed.

2. The gospel frustrates the hobby-horse riders.

It’s not just those who love the Law too much who get aggravated by gospel-centrality, it’s also those who love anything else too much! Pastor long enough and you will meet a variety of interesting and relationally taxing hobby horse riders. A brief survey of the kinds of people you will meet in your church neighborhood:

The culture warrior who’s frustrated you’re not patriotic or political enough. The end-times junkie who’s frustrated you’re not eschatological enough. The self-styled academic who’s frustrated you don’t really “dig into the meat” of the Greek participles or whatever. The activist who’s frustrated you don’t give people enough social justice for homework.

That is a small sampling. Really, there can be as many frustrated people as there are hobby horses, but those are some of the more common ones. I’ve been hounded by theology nerds, accused by culture warriors and worn out by the activists. You cannot expect the preaching of grace to always be met with grace in return. You should in fact expect that being single-minded about the gospel will frustrate those whose minds are set on something else.

3. The gospel irritates those who don’t want to change.

The gospel announces that we are saved by grace alone through faith alone, but this faith, as the Reformers say, isn’t alone. Sanctified works flow from the sanctified heart. The gospel actually changes us. The Holy Spirit actually changes the hearts of sinners who now want to please God and grow in the likeness of Christ. That’s just one way change is effected by the gospel of Jesus.

But a church that embraces the gospel as its one thing begins to change too. Its preaching and teaching changes, and thus its discipleship and its counseling. Its interests change, its emphases change, its reason for being changes. And it will grow—if not numerically, at least spiritually.

It has become a ministry truism—because it’s true—that church folks want to change until they actually do. And every church says it wants to grow. But actually growing will show whether that’s true or not. Most people don’t like change. People who are not set on the gospel especially don’t like change. So when the gospel begins to change a church, and as the gospel grows a church, it cannot help but change—you can’t grow and not change!—this really freaks people out.

I asked for a meeting once with a couple whose complaints and criticism (against me and against the ministry in general) were beginning to concern me. Most of these complaints were carried out behind my back and only later revealed by third parties or heard through the grapevine. So I began by asking if I had offended them in some way or hurt them, if maybe their complaint was driven by something I had done that I didn’t know. They could not put their finger on anything specific I had done to deserve their complaints. Instead, the husband offered this: “The church has changed. It’s not the same as it used to be.”

He only elaborated briefly, but apparently the church had grown enough numerically that it didn’t feel the same as it did “in the good old days.” He didn’t know everybody like he used to. This obviously made him uncomfortable. It made him uncomfortable enough to seek to subvert the ministry and the growth of the church.

These are not uncommon divisions. And they can prove subtly problematic and increasingly toxic in a church, especially when people disturbed by the gospel begin to gather likeminded grumblers and gossipers. It doesn’t take a majority of people to split a church, in fact. It only takes a determined minority working against an unguarded, unprepared leadership. If you are committed to gospel-centrality, in fact, don’t ever assume this couldn’t happen to you. In fact, you should prepare for the powerful gospel to do its glorious sorting of belief from unbelief.

And you should use these challenges to further encourage your resolute centrality on the gospel! Another concerned church member who once hijacked a church meeting with some out-of-the-blue concerns that were new to me said to me when I followed up with her privately: “Jared, we know your thing is the gospel. And you do that really well. But sometimes we just need to hear other things.”

Whenever your church, your fellow leaders or you yourself get tired of the gospel’s meddlin’, that’s when you know to bring a double dose.

“Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?” — Galatians 4:16

This article originally appeared here.

9 Ways to Pray for Church Leaders

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In the late 1850s, a global spiritual awakening began when one man in New York City established a noonday prayer meeting and called the city to prayer. Indeed, most awakenings have begun with a few praying people who invite others to join them. With that historical backdrop in mind, I wonder what might happen if congregations begin to pray for church leaders.

Would you pray these prayers for church leaders today, and then invite others in your congregation to join you?

1. Pray for church leaders that they will keep their eyes on God.

King Jehoshaphat faced three combined enemy armies, and he did not know what to do—except to lock his eyes on God. That’s the answer any time we have no clue about next steps.

“For we are powerless before this vast number that comes to fight against us. We do not know what to do, but we look to You.” (2 Chron. 20:12, HCSB)

2. Pray for church leaders that they will not take a step apart from God’s leading.

Moses prayed this prayer when God would send only an angel to lead His people after their fiasco with the golden calf. He would rather the people not start the journey if God Himself were not leading them.

“If Your presence does not go,” Moses responded to Him, “don’t make us go up from here.” (Exod. 33:15)

3. Pray for church leaders that they will beware of relying on their own strength.

David, who knew the Lord is the one who fights for him (1 Sam. 17:47), trusted in his own might when he took a census of the Hebrew armies. Recognizing his sin, he prayed a prayer most leaders need to pray at some point:

“I have sinned greatly in what I’ve done. Now, Lord, because I’ve been very foolish, please take away Your servant’s guilt.” (2 Sam 24:10)

4. Pray for church leaders that they will be wise in leading God’s people.

When Solomon might have asked for much more, he instead asked God to give him a “listening heart” as he governed the people of God. All of us who lead congregations need this wisdom.

“So give Your servant an obedient heart to judge Your people and to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?” (1 Kgs. 3:9)

5. Pray they will weep over the sin and failures of God’s people.

In my experience, the best shepherds are those who genuinely grieve the spiritual brokenness of the people they lead. Like Nehemiah when he heard about the damaged walls of Jerusalem, they are themselves broken when they see the results of spiritual decline.

“When I heard these words, I sat down and wept. I mourned for a number of days, fasting and praying before the God of heaven.” (Neh. 1:4)

6. Pray for church leaders that they will know when to push away from the crowds to pray.

Ministry is time-consuming, and needs are ever before us. Nevertheless, leaders must have time alone with God to be renewed for the work—just as Jesus did.

“But the news about Him spread even more, and large crowds would come together to hear Him and to be healed of their sicknesses. Yet He often withdrew to deserted places and prayed.” (Luke 5:15-16)

7. Pray for church leaders that they will walk worthy of their calling.

If we pray more for church leaders today, it’s likely fewer will fall tomorrow. We must pray they walk in obedience and bear fruit, just as Paul prayed for the Colossian believers:

“We haven’t stopped praying for you…so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God.” (Col. 1:9-10)

8. Pray for church leaders that they will speak the gospel boldly.

Paul wrote from a prison cell—his punishment for preaching the Word—but still he sought prayer support to continue his evangelizing. If Paul needed such prayer, surely church leaders do today.

“Pray also for me, that the message may be given to me when I open my mouth to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel.” (Eph. 6:19)

9. Pray for church leaders that they will finish well.

Those church leaders who finish well PLAN to do so; that is, they choose from the beginning to stand against the devil and glorify God. Pray that your church leaders can one day echo these words of the Apostle Paul:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Tim. 4:7)

What other ways might you pray for church leaders? As a leader, how would you like the readers of this post to pray for you?

This article about how to pray for church leaders originally appeared here.

10 Ways Prayer Will Change Your Life

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Prayer changes things.

D.L. Moody once said to hear Spurgeon preach was a blessing, but to hear Spurgeon pray was even more impressive (Autobiography 4:71).

Praying like Spurgeon nourishes the soul, encourages the depressed, motivates the lazy and ushers the humble before the throne of God.

Spurgeon prevailed with God in prayer.

“As I am sure that a certain amount of leverage will lift a weight, so I know that a certain amount of prayer will get anything from God” (MTP 11:150).

“If there be anything I know, anything that I am quite assured of beyond all question, it is that praying breath is never spent in vain” (MTP 11:150).

“The streaming wounds of Jesus are the sure guarantees for answered prayer” (MTP 11:149).

Spurgeon baked and caked his prayers in Scripture. He pulled passages from the broken places of his heart and flung them into the presence of the Divine. Never rehearsed, always urgent, Spurgeon’s prayers were theological but not scholarly.

“[Spurgeon’s] wonderful knowledge of the Scripture made his prayers so fresh and edifying” (C.H. Spurgeon’s Prayers, vi).

One of the best sermons Spurgeon ever preached on prayer was “The Golden Key of Prayer.” In it, he provides the Christian with a sparkling aspiration:

“If you would reach to something higher than ordinary grovelling experience, look to the Rock that is higher than you, and look with the eye of faith through the windows of importunate prayer” (MTP 11:153).

Why Prayer Changes Things

In this season of great uncertainty, the first thing—the best thing—a believer should do is pray. Spurgeon found this effective in his life, and if it is true of us, we will discover numerous benefits:

1. Prayer changes things because it makes us desire God.

“Prayer is the natural outgushing of a soul in communion with Jesus” (MTP 34:14-15).

3 Reasons Kids Ministry Is Important

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The last two weeks have provided great reminders to me about why kids ministry is so important. I served as camp pastor at CentriKid camps for a week. The whole family came and we had a great time. The kids participated in Bible studies, recreation, track times based on their interests, and morning and evening worship gatherings. Then the next week, Kaye hosted a backyard kids club in our neighborhood for neighbors and friends from school. Friends and some incredible teenagers helped provide games, recreation, singing, crafts and a Bible story each morning. About 50 kids came. The experiences reminded us why kids ministry is so vital:

1. Important for kids

Kids ministry provides kids consistent opportunities to hear the message of the Bible in environments that are crafted for them. Just as great schoolteachers present the essentials in an age-appropriate manner, kids ministry seeks to place the life-changing message of Jesus in a context designed specifically for kids.

2. Important for families

Because kids ministry brings the truth of the gospel to kids where they are, kids go home with questions, stories and lessons they learned. An effective kids ministry sparks conversations at home, and this challenges and encourages the whole family. The questions, memories and stories my kids have told me from camp and kids club have challenged me to know the faith so well that I can explain it to my kids. If we cannot explain an essential belief about the Christian faith to a 7-year-old, we don’t know it well enough. And articulating the Bible to our kids, even if we stumble and learn as we go, helps the truth get into our own souls more.

3. Important for churches

An effective kids ministry helps bring joy and life to a church. Kids sing loud. They raise their hands. They fight to sit up front, not fill up the back seats first. They answer when the preacher asks a question. They open their Bibles and love to hear stories from the Word. Children who have trusted Jesus with their lives are filled with awe—an awe that we can lose as our hearts wander and our minds get preoccupied with lesser things. Kids remind us that the kingdom of God is for those who humble themselves like children and trust Him fully. Being around kids in a kids ministry reminds us that we need to be more like kids.

This article originally appeared here.

There Are Souls to Be Saved: How Can We Rest?

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Pastors used to be some of the happiest and healthiest people alive, with better life expectancy than the general population. But in “Taking a Break From the Lord’s Work,” journalist Paul Vitello reports, “Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.”

High levels of stress, depression and burnout are leading to broken bodies, broken minds, broken hearts, broken marriages and broken churches. According to Christianity Today, burnout is responsible for 20 percent of all pastoral resignations. That’s hardly surprising, since surveys reveal that pastors relegate physical exercise, nutrition and sleep to a much lower priority than the average worker.

I’ve been there and done that—and suffered the consequences. But through painful personal experience, and also through counseling many others since, I’ve learned that God has graciously provided a number of ways for us to reset our broken and burned-out lives, and to help us live a grace-paced life in a burnout culture. Before we get to these, let’s consider why so many pastors are joining these statistics.

WHY SO MUCH BURNOUT

First, the work is so enjoyable. Yes, there are discouraging times in pastoral ministry, but it’s often a dream job. We get to study God’s Word, preach the glorious gospel of grace, develop leaders, equip people to serve and help people to die in faith. We see people growing in grace and gifts. It’s so satisfying and fulfilling that we sometimes want to do it all day and all night.

Second, the work is so endless. We could spend 50 hours on each sermon and still it would not be “perfect.” There are always more people to visit, more souls to be evangelized, more articles to write, more ministries to launch, more opportunities to serve, more churches to plant. There’s no clock to punch, and there are no starting times or end times to the day. Even if we worked 24/7, there’s still more that could be done.

Third, the work is so momentous. Everyone’s role in life is important. Without garbage collectors our streets would stink and disease would be rampant. Without glaziers our homes would be either dark or drafty. But without pastors, souls will not be saved and multitudes would perish forever in hell. The consequences of our work are massive. How can we sleep or take a day off when there are perishing souls that need to be saved?

Fourth, the work is so unseen. So much of our work is invisible and intangible, we can be tempted to go into overdrive in more noticeable tasks in order to prove that we are as busy, strong and needed as everyone else.

HOW TO RESET OUR LIVES

In Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture, which 9Marks reviewed here, I explore a number of ways men in general, and pastors in particular, can learn how to live a grace-paced life in a burnout culture. From counseling a number of pastors through the reset process, I’ve found that the quickest and most productive fixes are in the areas of sleep, Sabbath and the sovereignty of God.

Sabbath

Paul Vitello’s survey into the decline of pastors’ health and happiness identified a number of causes: stress caused by cell phones and social media, a reduction in the availability of volunteers in the era of two-income households, and the misperceptions that taking care of themselves is selfish and that serving God means never saying no. Most of the research, however, showed that the biggest reason is simply that pastors aren’t taking one day off a week.

Your Faith Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Real

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I often find myself thinking about the great men and women of faith we see in the Bible. Their boldness, courage, fearlessness and tenacity to pursue after what God had laid out for them. I often compare myself to these individuals. Maybe you’ve done the same. I wish I was that bold and faithful, I tell myself. I wish I trusted God as unabashedly as they did. It’s really easy for me to compare myself to those who have done things I yearn to do. Not only within the words of the Bible but also in day-to-day life.

But what I have to constantly remind myself of is the fact that these people were not perfect, and what I may perceive as a perfect and flawless life of faith and trust in God isn’t actually the case. They were human just like you and me. They made mistakes. They fell short. And they sometimes even chose the wrong. I’ve learned that your faith doesn’t always have to be perfect to be faith. In fact, it never will be and the Bible tells us that to be true (Ecclesiastes 7:20).

  • Mary
  • David
  • Joshua
  • Moses
  • Abraham
  • Peter
  • Paul

And the list goes on…

These are all people in the Bible who did incredible things, had incredible faith, but also had some incredibly deep imperfections. I say this not to expose their flaws to feel better about my own, but to remind myself that we’re all flawed and a little messy. There is no such thing as perfect faith, and that’s something that should unite Christians around the world instead of divide us. We’re all perfectly imperfect, journeying through this thing called faith together, one mistake and one victory at a time. If this wasn’t the case then we wouldn’t have needed a perfect Savior, Jesus, to die on a cross and pay the penalty for our personal sins.

So no matter what you’ve got going on in life. Whether your faith is as strong as it’s ever been or as empty as it’s ever felt, know that God is still God and his love for you stays the same. We all go through ups and downs in life. We all have highs and lows as it pertains to our relationship with Jesus. We all make mistakes.

Don’t give up because you’re feeling down. God hasn’t given up on you yet, so neither should you. Try to keep your head up high even through the lows in life. Try to keep your eyes open to God’s goodness even when you feel like all you want to do is close them. Keep your heart surrendered even when you feel like closing it off to the world.

Your faith doesn’t have to be perfect to be real faith.

This article originally appeared here.

The Art of Being Mentored

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My friend and mentor, John Maxwell, has written and spoken about being mentored by the great coach John Wooden among others.

Hearing this, a pastor asked me these questions: “How does one go about getting the greatest NCAA coach as a mentor? Did he (Maxwell) just ask for regular meetings and what does mentorship look like?”

Good questions.

I will admit that getting John Wooden as a coach is an extraordinary circumstance involving an extraordinary leader. But on the other hand, John Maxwell didn’t start there. It was only after nearly 30 years of successful leadership that John was able to connect with Coach Wooden.

It was John’s desire to grow and his great passion to add value to people’s lives that made the difference. The fact that John is a tremendous student is also a very significant part of the story.

Over the years I’ve wondered which is more important—to have a great mentor or to be a great student? The easy answer is both. But more and more I think the secret is in being a great student.

You can have the most brilliant mentor in the world, even a famous one, but if you aren’t ready to pay the price, dig in, learn and change, it won’t matter.

There are many stories of men and women who receive an hour or so of someone’s time who arrived ill-prepared. They had no written questions. They talked more than listened and expressed very little gratitude. It was almost as if they had some time to kill and thought it might be fun. When someone does say yes, show up prepared.

So, if you want a meaningful mentoring relationship, let me offer more good advice.

1) Be good at something.

This might sound strange, but you need to be good at something before you ask someone to help you be great at something.

You can be good at anything! What it is doesn’t matter. You may want to be a great leader, and your only claim to fame is that you are good at golf or giving a talk. Maybe you are brilliant at math or a techy genius type.

Here’s the point, if you are good at something, you have shown the passion and discipline to create the needed potential to become great at what you really want.

2) Seek someone just a little ahead of you.

A common mistake is to think: “If I’m going for a mentor, I’m going right to the top to get the best.” I appreciate that you think big, but you are likely making a mistake.

For example, if a pastor who serves in a church of 500 seeks a mentor who pastors a church of 7,000, the two of them live in two different worlds, and they barely speak the same language.

Yes, the leadership principles are the same. But you are much better off being mentored by someone who understands where you are, and their current reality is closer to yours.

If you lead a church of 200, try to get a mentor who leads a church of 400 to 800. This is not a legalistic thing. Don’t get hung up on the numbers, just go with the idea.

Make the ask. If the person says they are not able, don’t get upset or discouraged. Ask God to lead you to another person.

3) Think intentionally organic.

Don’t ask for lots of regularly scheduled meetings. You will likely lose a potential mentor that way. I recommend that you don’t ask for monthly or even quarterly connects. Go for a more intentionally organic approach.

Here’s what I mean. If you can hang with a couple of meetings (phone or in person) a year plus a few short emails, you might be surprised by how quickly you get a yes. “Intentionally” refers to staying strategic and on purpose, and the “organic” simply means to catch the meetings when it works out naturally for both of your schedules.

You don’t need many meetings, not if you really want to change and grow.

If you connect with a mentor two or three times in a year, that is plenty. It will take you at least that much time between conversations to really put into practice what was given to you. Do the math, if you have two mentors, you can see that would be four to six connects a year—you can’t absorb and practice more than that.

Note: When it’s a boss/employee relationship, of course, you will meet much more often, but much of that is about “doing ministry.” In fact, if you are “mentoring” weekly, you are probably doing something closer to a counseling relationship than coaching or mentoring.

Also, if an employee is struggling with competence, you would meet more often, but that would be more skill coaching than mentoring.

Coaching and mentoring have overlapping characteristics, but I define the primary difference as:

  • Coaching deals with day-to-day skills and practices.
  • Mentoring deals with lifelong wisdom and principles.

4) Work harder than your mentor.

Invest your time and your mentor’s time well. Show up with well thought through and relevant questions. Take notes. Work hard to practice what was discussed, and the next time you talk, tell him or her what you have done.

A good mentor will always have some questions, a resource or two and good advice, but the mentoring is more your job than his/hers.

You set the agenda and come with it in writing. If your mentor asks you to do something, make the necessary adjustments, but do it.

This does not prevent a respectful disagreement within honest conversations, but overall, you either want their advice, or you don’t. If you don’t, that’s OK. But if that becomes a pattern, perhaps you should say thanks and bring closure to the mentoring relationship.


I’ve been blessed with five mentors over the course of my life, and I’m grateful! I’m sure that’s part of the reason I’m eager to pass on as much as I can. I trust that you will also pass on what is given to you.

This article originally appeared here.

7 Thoughts to the Families of Introverts

communicating with the unchurched

Whenever I post about the subject of introversion I hear from fellow introverts. Some of these are apparently even more introverted than me. And, that’s a lot of introversion.

I usually am addressing introversion in leadership, but in talking with a young pastor after one of these posts I discovered there was another issue we needed to address. This particular pastor was having some issues at home with introversion. He had managed to be extroverted for his church, but when he got home, he had nothing left to give. He felt the tension. He wanted to push through it, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t want to talk about his day. He didn’t want to share what he was thinking. He was done. Words spent. Empty.

His wife was growing increasingly impatient with a lack of intimacy in communication, limited social life and simply feeling left out of part of his life.

Of course, I only heard his side of the story. He knows what he needs to do, but he doesn’t know how to do it.

Her side of the story (according to him)—she doesn’t understand how he can be so introverted—even when it’s with his family.

I get it. I really do.

So, this post is to the families of introverts. There are a few things I’d love to say to you. I hope they are helpful.

Here are seven words to families of introverts:

We aren’t crazy.

Sometimes you think we are, don’t you? Be honest. When we don’t talk for long periods of time—even when we are with people—you assume we must have a few screws loose somewhere. We probably do—as you possibly do—we are all desperately in need of grace. But introversion isn’t one of the things that make us crazy. We aren’t weird—OK, again, some of us might be, but not just because of introversion. In fact, you may not know this, but there are lots of introverts around. Lots. Mega lots. You may even have overlooked some of us because we aren’t always trying to get your attention. We may appear extroverted in public, often because it’s our job, but there are lots of us who are really introverted.

It isn’t personal. 

When we don’t talk it’s not because we don’t want to communicate with someone. We don’t talk because we are introverted. We need to have something to say. We probably think a lot more than we say. It’s hard not to take it personally though, isn’t it? But, it most likely has little to do with you when we don’t talk to you as much as you wish we would.

We do love you.

This one is huge. The crazy thing about introverts—that I know some have a hard time believing—is that most of us really do love people. A lot. More than you can imagine. In fact, the measure of extroversion or introversion, from what I can tell, has no bearing on the degree of love a person has for others. That’s a whole other side to a person’s personality and character. If one expectation you have of love is talking a lot, you’re going to be disappointed at times. But, this may help to know—for some introverts, one expectation we have of love is giving the people we love time to not have to talk. (Figuring out how to balance those expectations is tough, isn’t it?)

We need time to recharge.

The amount of time is relative to the amount of extroversion we had to do to get to the opportunity for introversion and the degree of introversion we have. But, all of us need that time. We may even crave it. This is especially true after very extroverted events or settings. For my pastor friend I mentioned above, that’s Sunday afternoon following a Sunday morning. (Funny how Sunday afternoons always follow Sunday mornings.)

Preparation helps.

If you give us advance warning, we can often better prepare for conversation. We can gear up for it. I know that may be difficult to grasp for especially extroverted people, especially when it involves people we love so much. Please understand, though, that introversion impacts how we relate to others—not how we feel about them. I love my wife. More than anything. And, she shares my calendars so, thankfully, she knows the times I am more likely to revert to my introversion preferences. I find, however, that my wife and I having a routine time where we interact together at night is the time I’m ready to dialogue with her best about my day and hers. And, she loves this time. I do too. Seriously. It works better for me because I’m prepared for it—actually looking forward to it—and it works better for her because I actually talk. And, want to.

We don’t have a right to ignore you.

Do I need to repeat that one? I will. We don’t have a right to ignore you. And, my introverted friends can get frustrated with me if they want to, but we don’t. You can expect communication. Relationships are built on communication. We just have to figure out how to make it work with your personality and ours. We can do that, can’t we? And, you can tell them I said it. Get an outside party (such as a counselor) to help you if you need it. We can’t expect people to ignore their personality—and we should work to respect other people’s personalities—but we can expect two people in a healthy relationship to find a balance that allows healthy, intimate conversation—at a level that meets the needs of both in the relationship.

Activity often produces conversation.

This may sound strange unless you’ve experienced it, but as an introvert, I talk more—and am more comfortable doing so—when I am being physically active at the same time. Walking with Cheryl helps us communicate better. Our communication is strengthened when we have an activity we do together regularly. So, we walk often. Almost daily. It’s good for our health and our marriage. Certainly we walk enough so she feels we’ve communicated. What’s an activity you could do with your introverted family member that might produce more (and better) conversation? (Play a board game, go hiking, take a drive, etc.)

Here’s the disclaimer. Not all introverts are alike. Just as not all extroverts are alike. And, there are varying degrees of introversion and extroversion. It’s important not to put people into boxes—and that’s not what I’m trying to do here. Maybe the best follow up to this post is a conversation with your introvert on how the two of you could communicate better. More than anything, as a relationship counselor and pastor, I want to help people better communicate. Sadly, I’ve sat on the outside of dozens of relationships in trouble and communication is almost always one root of the problems in the relationship. This post isn’t counseling—and my intent was a very soft approach—but the issue here is huge for some couples. Don’t be afraid to get help if needed.

Are you an extrovert married to an introvert? Any tips you’ve learned that can help?

This article originally appeared here.

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