We love global missions at desiringGod.org. And missions is a huge priority for you, Pastor John. In fact, I think this episode will go live online at about the same time you’ll be traveling to Indianapolis to speak at the 2016 Cross Conference.

So it’s no surprise, we get a lot of questions from missionaries in the field, and a number of questions from missionaries in training, and a fair number of questions from college students who are interested in giving their lives to missions. Today’s question comes from a podcast listener named Amy, who writes, “Pastor John, I’ve recently noticed that the number of women going to the nations far outweighs men. I looked for more statistics on this, and struggled to even find information. If this is the case, what are your thoughts on this trend, and what do you think are the most probable causes?”

Well, whatever the case among Roman Catholics who have the peculiar views about celibacy, whatever the case about Roman Catholics or liberal Protestants who, by and large, don’t do missions in order to convert people to Christ, the case among evangelicals, and faith missions in particular is, as Amy hints, contained in this joke.

Two-thirds of active missionaries are married couples. Another third are single women. The rest are single men. Well, if that went by too fast, two thirds plus one third doesn’t leave any room for single men. And it is only a joke in part because it is almost that way.

To be more accurate, the actual situation among most evangelical faith missions is that between 80–85 percent of all single missionaries are women. It is a rare thing, like two out of every 10, for a single man to make missions his life’s vocation, which results in the overall statistics being that one-third of those in evangelical world missions are married men, one-third are married women, and 80 percent of the last third are single women. Which means that something just less than two-thirds of the total missionary force are women.

Now, why is that? And I think the most honest answer would be: I don’t know. And if the research has been done to get the answers, I am not aware of it. So, let me just give two opinions. Everybody should know these two things are flying under the banner: opinion, not strong conviction. And then I will end with a challenge to men.

1) Opinion number one: Let’s start with the observation that many single women in missions would like to be married, not all. Some regard it as a divine calling to serve as a single woman, and they have no intention of even hoping or praying toward marriage. And I thank God for that and for them. But many would like to serve in missions side by side with a similarly called and devoted husband. But by and large, it is men who propose marriage. Women have less control over being married than men do—they can always say no, but I mean taking the initiative in a positive way. Therefore, the single missionary woman who would like to be married is not exactly in the same position as a single missionary man who would like to be married.

Here is a little anecdote. Elisabeth Elliot—I went down and got this from my wife, because I knew she said this once—Elisabeth Elliot told of an interview she had with Gladys Aylward, a single missionary to China who died in 1970: The Small Woman: Gladys Aylward is the name of one biography. Here is what Elisabeth Elliot said. I think she was talking at Urbana when she said this, “Miss Aylward talked to the Lord about her singleness. She was a no-nonsense woman in very direct and straightforward ways and she asked God to call a man from England, send him straight out to China, straight to where she was, and have him propose to her.” I can’t forget the next line. Elisabeth Elliot said, “With a look of even deeper intensity, she shook her little bony finger in my face and said, ‘Elisabeth, I believe God answers prayer. And he called him.’” And here there was a brief pause of intense whisper. She said, “‘He called him, and he never came.’”

Now, that experience, I would guess, is not unique to Gladys Aylward. So, that is my first opinion, that the disproportion of single missionary women to missionary men is that the initiative of proposing marriage among those two groups, singles, lies with the men and not the women.

2) Here is opinion number two: Many, it seems to me, of those single men probably avoid missions out of the same personal dynamics that keep them single. Among Christian men who do not get married, say, in their 20s and 30s, they are probably held back from that relationship of marriage by—here are my opinions—a sense of inadequacy that they could be a spiritual leader or a fear that they might be rejected as they pursue a relationship or a lack of purpose in life that would give support and meaning in a marriage relationship. Any of those hindrances to forming a long-term commitment of marriage would also explain why he may have a sense of inadequacy about missions or a fear about missions or a lack of purpose about missions.

In other words, the very things that keep a man single in his late 20s and 30s are probably the same kind of things that would keep him from pursuing a life in missions. On the other hand, single women may not feel any of those hindrances. They would happily marry a godly, mature, purposeful, mission-directed man if he came along. But they can’t make that happen without men doing their part.

Now, I am sure the matter is way more complex than those two opinions have hinted at, but those are possible explanations for the disproportionate number in the single missionary force—like 80 percent women and 20 percent men. So, the way I would like to end is by taking the words of Mike Delorenzo who works for Africa Inland Mission (AIM) and close by reading his challenge. Thinking of single men as opposed to single women in missions, he said,

Yes, it may be harder for [men]. Harder to cut through the lies and the apathy. Harder to raise money in a self-reliant society. Harder to enter into relationally-driven cross-cultural missions. Harder to find your ministry in your vocation. But the gospel needs men. The Christian life is a battle, so much so that the Bible calls us to put on armor. And the mission field is a battle field, where a man’s strengths and passions are called upon to be spent for the greatest cause creation has ever known: the cause of Christ and His redemptive work to save this world—and I mean really save this world. It takes courage—courage to step out of your slumber and into the fray. It takes humility—to be willing to fail or at least be deemed a failure by your peers. And it takes strength—more than you know, but not more than God will give you.

Based on the inbox, Pastor John, there are a lot of Christians listening to the podcast who did not expect to be single entering 2017. Ashley, one of our listeners, is among them. She writes in to ask this: “Pastor John, my struggle is singleness. I’m 28, an elementary teacher, and that’s not really a profession to meet single men. I know that with the age of Tinder and hookups, casual sex will leave me empty inside, and it’s not a lifestyle that I’m seeking. At the same time I feel alone as a Christian single. I feel the church only sees me as ‘serving’ material because I have ‘time to serve.’ In addition to the lack of men at church, I am an extrovert. I do have a life outside of my singleness and try to live as if my singleness doesn’t define me. Everyone tells me I’m attractive, outgoing and have a lot going for me. Well, everyone but a Christian male. Which is hard not to take personally. How do I have hope in something uncertain? I’m not promised a life of marriage. How do I cling to the truth in a world lying to me about the satisfaction of ‘hooking up’? How do I not turn to the world when I feel like the church, Christian men and even God himself seem to have no place for me?”

There is so much there that we could talk about. What is clear from the way Ashley asks her question—and I am going to determine what I say here because of what I hear in the way she asks the question—what is clear is that she knows at one level the essence of the right answers to her own questions. She asks with regard to a future husband: How do I have hope in something uncertain? And she answers: I am not promised a life of marriage.

In other words, she knows we don’t hope in uncertain things. We don’t put our hope in what we are not promised. If we do, we are bound to be crushed. We hope in things that are certain, not uncertain; things that God has promised, not things that we may rightly want, but have not been promised and may receive or may not receive. We hope in what is sure, what God has absolutely promised, and he watches over his word to perform it (Jeremiah 1:12). Ashley knows this. And so, she asks: How do I not turn to the world when I feel like the church, Christian men and God have no place for me? And she answers: The world is lying to me about the satisfaction of hooking up. She knows it is a lie. She knows it is a lie.

Now, my concern for Ashley—and many are like her, and we are all like her from time to time—my concern for Ashley is that the lie is already starting to creep into the way she asks her question. This is exactly the way Satan insinuated his lie into Eve’s mind in Genesis 3. And I don’t want Ashley to become another Eve in the garden. Here is what God said: “Now the serpent was more crafty [or subtle] than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, ‘Did God actually say, “You shall not eat of any tree in the garden”?’” (Genesis 3:1–2). Now, you see already what he is doing. God only forbade one tree. But Satan is insinuating the thought that God is stingy and forbade all the trees. Tragically, that seed of God’s stinginess took root in Eve’s mind and you can see it immediately.

The text goes on, “The woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree in the midst of the garden”’”—and then she adds—“‘“neither shall you touch it, lest you die.”’” God did not say that. God did not say, “You shall not touch this tree.” But Eve was already feeling the lure of resentment against God. God is withholding something from me in my life and I don’t like it. He is a stingy God. He is a narrow God. He doesn’t have my best interest at heart. So, when Ashley says, “I feel like the church, Christian men and God have no place for me,” we may understand and empathize with the feeling, but alarm bells should be going off in her and our minds that the lie of Satan is taking root in the statement: God has no place for me.

So, in answer to Ashley’s question, “How can I not turn to the world?” even though she knows the world is lying, my answer is: Swim in the truth. Swim in the truth of God’s word and promise about you, Ashley. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free from the lies of the world and the devil. That is what Jesus meant when he said that in John 8:32.

Let me point you, Ashley, to one truth. We could do dozens. But here’s one truth big enough for you to swim in for a long time: When Jesus was teaching about marriage and he told his disciples there is no back door—once you walk in, you are committed for better or for worse till death separates you: no back door—the disciples were stunned that Jesus shut the back door of marriage. And they said, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (Matthew 19:10).

Recently a pastor asked me, “What are the top three to five things your church does to reach the unchurched?”

I immediately thought about our DREAM strategy. It has guided our church for 17 years and has allowed us to reach thousands of people for Christ. The good news is that any church can become more effective at reaching the lost in their community, and it doesn’t even involve new buildings or expensive technology.

In fact, the secret to reaching the unchurched is not even a secret. The principles are as old as the New Testament and are transferable into any church in any community or culture.

So, what are they?

3 PRACTICES FOR REACHING THE UNCHURCHED

1. Consideration

You cannot connect with people you are not considering. Reaching the spiritually lost begins with passion. Passion drives practices. If the church leaders are passionate about reaching lost people, then it will bleed out onto every part of the church. Remember, Jesus’ passion literally bled out. Before you can reach the lost, your heart must break for what breaks the heart of God—and God’s heart breaks for people. Do not even attempt to change the programs of the church until you’ve changed the passion in the church.

Want to light a fire for evangelism in the heart of your leaders? Bring them to the 2017 DREAM Church Conference!

2. Accommodation

Once you have a burden for the unchurched it will color how you see everything you do in church. You will be looking at your church through the lens of the lost. For example, if you were hosting important guests for dinner who have never been to your home before, you would probably do some things differently. You would make sure the house is clean. You would warmly greet them at the door. You would let them sit in “your” chair. You would turn off the TV and give them your full attention. You would probably even break out the nice dishes instead of the paper plates. In other words, you would pull out all the stops to show them that you are glad they came and do everything you can to make them feel welcome and wanted. This isn’t compromise; it’s courtesy!

Churches that want to reach the unchurched must have a guest-friendly makeover. They should examine every element of the weekend service through the eyes of their target and then make adjustments to ensure that they are treating their guests as VIPs.

Learn the three systems you must change in your church to make it unchurched friendly at the 2017 DREAM Church Conference.

3. Invitation

Now that you’ve prepped the house for company, you’re ready to invite them over!

It is still true that nearly 70 percent of our first-time guests came because someone invited them. Yes, it’s good to have a great web site, Facebook page and social media presence, but all those things are supplementary tools. Nothing will ever replace the power of personal invitation.

Pastors often ask me, “How do I get my people to invite?” But that’s not the right question.

The right question is, “Why aren’t my people inviting?” And sadly the reason is usually because they don’t feel their church would be a great experience for their lost friends.

People naturally invite to something that they are excited about and has changed their life. You don’t have to twist someone’s arm to talk about what they’re excited about.

Want to learn the three secrets of turning your members into inviters? Check out my blog post titled How to Spark an Invitational Revolution.

When the leaders are filled with a passion to reach the lost, the worship services are tuned to be guest friendly and your people are regularly inviting, you have a powerful recipe to reach the unchurched in your community!