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Feedback Attacks the Biggest Prohibitor to Development

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“Better an open reprimand than concealed love. The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive” (Proverbs 27:5-6).

Many leaders, both in ministry and the marketplace, struggle with providing feedback to team members. Someone displays a deficiency in the execution of his or her role, and leaders fail to address the problem. Instead, under the false pretense of compassion, leaders either ignore the deficiency or develop a workaround—creating an unnecessary step in a process or passing on additional work to others to compensate.

Not providing feedback hurts the team and the organization, but it also hurts the person. According to the above proverb, it is kind to provide corrective feedback to those you love. The goal of corrective feedback is NOT to be right or make a point, but to encourage and help the person receiving the feedback. Feedback is not unloving; not providing feedback is unloving because feedback helps someone grow.

Feedback is intertwined with development because feedback attacks the biggest hindrance to one’s growth—a lack of self-awareness. And yet we all struggle with self-awareness. Ben Franklin wrote, “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” When we lack self-awareness, we don’t have visibility to see what needs to be developed within us, our weaknesses, and our strengths.

The goal must be to equip and prepare, not crush and demoralize. A leader who critiques haphazardly is likely to harm team members and not help them. Here are five ways to offer helpful feedback to those you lead:

1. Check Your Motivation.

Before you have a conversation, check your own motivations. Do you want to prove that you are right or that you are smarter? Or do you really want to help the person? Do you want to unload on someone or do you want to develop them? If you want to blow someone up, just know that you are really offering critique for your sake and not those you lead.

2. Affirm What Is affirmable.

When giving difficult feedback, be sure to affirm what is affirmable. Point out the person’s gifting and areas the person is thriving in with the goal of building his or her confidence. Be sincere. Don’t affirm something that you don’t really appreciate. But if you do not offer any affirmation, you risk crushing the person with the belief that they are doing nothing right at all.

3. Be Immediate.

Real-time feedback helps people process and evaluate their actions with the added benefit of your feedback. Delayed feedback is not nearly as effective as the person has moved on to other actions. If you store up critical feedback for one long session, you will crush the person and others on the team, and the person will always wonder if a new list is being formed. The more immediate, the more helpful the feedback.

4. Be Specific.

If you just say, “Get better,” “Lead stronger,” or, “Here is what I am sensing,” without offering specificity, you crush the person with the lack of clarity. Without specificity in feedback, there is no way for the person to adjust. If you only speak in generalities when giving feedback, you crush people with expectations they cannot meet because they don’t even know what the expectations are. The more specific, the more helpful the feedback.

5. Dialogue on Next Steps.

A conversation should be a dialogue, not a monologue. Work with the person to discuss action items and next steps. Without clarity about what is next, the young or emerging leader leaves the conversation with uncertainty about what to do. Action steps provide a path forward.

Feedback is an acquired taste, but once you develop the taste for it, you crave it. Help those you lead acquire the taste for feedback by giving great feedback. Their ability to give and receive feedback will make them better leaders for the rest of their lives.

This article originally appeared here and is used by permission. 

7 Strategies in a New Leadership Position

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Whenever I enter a new leadership position, I want to be strategic. I’m having to live this advice again, but I’m trying to be strategic. The first couple years in my last position were challenging and fun at the same time. I met so many wonderful people, but there were more opportunities than time it seemed.

It proved to be a great ministry assignment, and I thank God for the opportunity, but it did require intentionality. If you know me at all, you know I’m pretty strategic. I was strategic from day one.

7 Strategies in a New Leadership Position

1. Get to know key leaders

I tried to get to know the staff and key influencers in the church. I believe God uses the influence of others to build His church, so I wanted to know who I would be working with in the days to come. Think of it this way – if Moses was implementing the “Jethro method”, his primary energy would need to be communicating and investing in those leaders he enlisted to lead others. I used this approach. If I hoped to make any substantial changes I knew I would need these influencers support.

I’m doing the same again. I’m getting to know board members, substantial donors, key client churches and senior staff members. I can’t know everyone immediately, but I need to know the people who have the largest influence.

2. Let people get to know me

For an introvert it was exhausting, but I was very visible in the early days. In fact, in my ministry I’m usually always very accessible, just as I am online. I have written before (HERE) I may not always be available but I can always be accessible. I wanted people to feel comfortable with me and trust my leadership, so I think they needed to see me frequently – even more so in the beginning days of my pastorate.

In this new leadership position I don’t have the benefit of Sunday mornings. I have to rely on non-traditional methods. Sometimes people will only learn me by what we post online. I’m trying to keep that in mind as we do.

6 Ways To Love People Like Jesus Did

Love like Jesus
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Over the years, I’ve explored the life of Jesus, and here’s what I’ve learned about his approach to loving humanity. Now I want to love people like Jesus did. It is vital to reflect upon the sacrifice of Jesus for humanity. Jesus continues to be my greatest source of inspiration for living life the way I do. There was a time when my faith made no practical sense in the real world. Ironically, I think my experience in childhood of institutional Christianity blinded me from seeing the life that Jesus modeled, a life filled with compassion and commitment to justice.

It wasn’t until college that I began to read more intently the thoughts of my heroes like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., and a handful of others that I realized that Jesus’ life had shaped their worldview and practice of human care, to to love people like Jesus did.

6 Ways to Love People Like Jesus Did

1. Love does not discriminate or require prerequisites.

 Jesus gravitated to the margins of society and spent significant time with those who were considered the fringe of culture. He did not center his attention on the most powerful, popular, or polished. Jesus did not place a standard on the kinds of people he would love and care for. In fact, if he did have bias, it was towards those who were ignored, discarded, or undervalued. How biased or selective is your love?

2. Care is not just talk. It must be tangible.

Talk was cheap to Jesus. He did not spend his time talking about how compassionate he was. Jesus embodied love in this world in a way that always considered the physical and spiritual needs of people. While it may be nice to tell others about our hearts for compassion via social platforms like Twitter or Facebook, it’s ultimately our actions that provide care for people. What can you do today to bring tangible care to a fellow human being?

Belonging Before Believing

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How does someone find their way into a church? Most would argue that it’s through some kind of invitation, and I would agree.

But what keeps them there? What is it that, once they engaged a church in some form or fashion, has them remain in attendance? The answer might surprise you. For most groups of people, it is not a shared faith.

Instead, it’s a shared sense of community.

According to the recent release of the 2024 State of the Bible survey by the American Bible Society, a sense of community and belonging edge out shared spiritual beliefs as the velcro that keeps them attached and, as a result, attending. This is true among Mainline Protestants, historically Black Protestants, and Catholics. The only group that served as an outlier was Evangelicals where 66% are drawn to a church by a shared sense of faith, but even among that grouping, a “feeling of community and belonging” came in second.

But the overall ranking among all four groups, when combined, ranked community and belonging as the primary reason for attending, followed by shared spiritual beliefs, meaning and purpose, and then, coming in last, worship and ceremonies. In fact, less than half of all respondents combined (48%) said worship or various ceremonies drew them to church.

This demonstrates the importance of understanding one of the more important shifts related to evangelism and outreach of our day—namely, the desire to belong before the choice to believe.

This is new thinking for many. It used to be assumed that people needed come to faith before they would join a community of faith. Not anymore. Today, people want to belong before they believe.

Which means you need to get people connected as soon as you can after you invite them to come and explore, because only if they are connected will they stay long enough to really explore and consider embracing the faith.

Evangelism is both process and event, and today, the process actively involves assimilating them into your community. From that vantage point, and often only from that vantage point, will they be positioned to consider the claims of Christ for and on their life. So while you are intentionally evangelizing, you have to be intentionally assimilating them.

So ask yourself, “Do you have any room in your community to welcome someone who hasn’t made a decision for Christ yet?”

You better make some. It’s how they come, how they will decide, and ultimately, will also determine whether they stay.

This article originally appeared here and is used by permission.

When (and How) To Confront a Staff Member’s Lack of Detail Orientation

communicating with the unchurched

I received a great question from a leader in our community: How much should you “correct” when small details are missed (misspellings, misinformation, lack of attention to detail)?

I love this question. Let’s jump in…

You and Me and OCD

Some people say I care too much about details, but I firmly believe they are wrong. Maybe I have a touch of detail OCD, but that’s because I understand one fundamental truth:

Details matter.

Everything—whether it’s a product, service, or blog post—is a sum of its parts. When the small things come together, they create something much larger. This isn’t about having OCD; it’s about leading with excellence.

Everything Communicates

As a professional communicator, I’ve learned that everything I do on stage communicates something. My words, my appearance, even the tiniest details like spelling errors in my notes or presentations—everything says something about who I am and what I value.

Everything communicates. 

Imagine reading this post and finding typos. What would you think? How would you feel about my expertise and advice? That’s why details matter.

When you lead an individual or team that isn’t paying enough attention to detail, it’s time to act.

6 Tips for Leading People To Pay Better Attention to Details

1. Cast Vision for Your Position

It’s crucial to communicate why details matter. If your team doesn’t understand the importance of getting the small things right, they may become complacent. Use examples, like spelling errors or a messy lobby, to illustrate how everything communicates. Make sure your team understands that attention to detail isn’t just a quirk—it’s an organizational standard of excellence.

2. Offer Supporting Tools

Not everyone is naturally detail-oriented, and that’s okay. If a team member struggles with details, provide them with tools to help. For example, I use Grammarly to catch spelling errors and AI tools to manage other details. Offer support, cast vision for improvement, and provide the tools they need to succeed.

3. Embrace That Perfection Is the Perversion of Great

Perfection is an unrealistic standard. When your team feels that only perfection is acceptable, they may become paralyzed, delaying projects and avoiding risks. Aim for excellence, but be realistic. Encourage your team to strive for their best while understanding that occasional mistakes are a part of growth.

4. Focus on Repeated Mistakes More Than Initial Errors

People will make mistakes; it’s part of being human. But repeated mistakes indicate a bigger issue. When errors happen, acknowledge them, offer support, and help your team members avoid making the same mistake twice. If the same errors keep happening, it’s time to address the underlying problem.

Dennis Quaid Says Ronald Reagan ‘Wouldn’t Have Been President Without His Faith in God’

Dennis Quaid Reagan
Dennis Quaid on the red carpet movie premiere of 'Reagan.' Photo credit: ChurchLeaders

Reagan,” starring Dennis Quaid, is a historical biopic about the life of President Ronald Reagan and explores how Reagan’s faith guided him throughout his 93 years on earth.

In addition to Quaid (“The Day After Tomorrow,” “The Parent Trap,” “The Right Stuff”), the film stars Jon Voight (“Lara Croft: Tomb Raider,” “Holes,” “National Treasure,” “Woodlawn,” “Deliverance”), Penelope Ann Miller (“Kindergarten Cop,” “Carlito’s Way”), and Kevin Sorbo (“Hercules: The Legendary Journeys,” “God’s Not Dead”).

Quaid told ChurchLeaders that “Reagan” was the most “challenging role” of his career but that the film has become his new “favorite movie” he has ever acted in, topping “The Right Stuff,” which had been his favorite for 40 years.

RELATED: Kathie Lee Gifford and Senator Marsha Blackburn Discuss Faith and Freedom at ‘Reagan’ Movie Premiere

Quaid said that Reagan’s faith was a central part of his life, and it guided every decision he made. “He wouldn’t have been president without that,” Quaid said.

“[Reagan] lived his life and governed by principles,” Quaid added. “And those principles are not Republican principles or Democrat principles. They go beyond that—they are Christian principles.”

“That’s what guided him and that’s why he was so successful,” Quaid continued, “because if you go by principles, then you may be making decisions and make unpopular decisions. But in the end, you will have made the right decision.”

RELATED: Donald Trump Suggests God Spared His Life ‘To Save the World’

“We can all point to the assassination attempt,” Quaid said, referring to the attempt on Reagan’s life in 1981. “You know, that bullet was so close to his heart. He told Tip O’Neill, who came to see him there in the hospital, that he felt his life was not his anymore. He belonged to the man upstairs.”

‘We Were Suffering’—Amanda Jenkins on Her Experience Writing the Latest Bible Study for ‘The Chosen’

Amanda Jenkins The Chosen
Amanda Jenkins interviewed by ChurchLeaders. Photo credit: ChurchLeaders.

Amanda JenkinsDallas Jenkins, and Dr. Douglas S. Huffman authored “God’s Goodness for The Chosen: An Interactive Bible Study Season 4,” an eight-lesson Bible study for that follows each episode of Season 4 of “The Chosen.”

Amanda, an author and lead creator of additional content for the award-winning series “The Chosen,” is the wife of the series creator, director, and producer, Dallas Jenkins.

Since its release in 2017, “The Chosen,” which follows the life and ministry of Jesus from the perspective of his followers, has captured the hearts of Christians and non-Christians alike. The series has won multiple K-Love Fan Awards, Dove Awards, and a Movieguide Award.

ChurchLeaders spoke with Amanda and asked her to share the focus of Season 4’s Bible study.

Amanda replied, “Well, like the season itself, it’s dealing a lot with suffering.” Coincidentally, she, her family, and co-writer Huffman found themselves in a personal season of suffering while authoring the study.

“All we could think about was suffering, because we were suffering,” she shared. “But the study is not merely about suffering. What we found as we dug into Scripture and as we’re walking this road ourselves is that God’s goodness eclipses suffering—that God’s goodness, even when he doesn’t remove our suffering, actually eclipses our suffering.”

“Season 4’s study will help those not only learn more about God but, through the lens of the Bible, they will learn more about how to let all the feelings hold their place while still remaining confident in his goodness,” Amanda said, admitting that she is “still learning, even today, but that’s largely the study itself.”

Amanda shared some of her and Dallas’s sufferings, which have surrounding their daughter’s chronic illness.

“Like some of [the] disciples that we see beg for healing but don’t receive it—that’s where we are at [with our daughter],” she explained. “I mean, we’ve asked [God], and we’re not and she’s not receiving that.” Amanda said a lack of clarity surrounds the “medical information” the family needs “to see our way through.”

“So the only thing that we’re learning to do is trust the Lord a day at a time…We are not getting to preach this story from a high place. Quite frankly, we’re coming at it from our faces on the ground,” Amanda said.

“I think that’s reflected in the show itself,” she added. “It’s all been tangled up in how we’re seeing Scripture ourselves in new ways and how we’re experiencing Jesus in new ways and then how we’re able to kind of portray that onscreen.”

Donald Trump Promises IVF Paid for by Government or Insurance; Pro-Life Christians Spar Over Use of IVF 

Donald Trump
Screengrab via YouTube NBC News

Former President Donald Trump told NBC News Thursday (Aug. 29) that if he is elected in November, his administration will lobby for in-vitro fertilization (IVF) to be paid for by the government or insurance companies.

IVF has been a hot button issue leading up to the election, especially among conservative Christians. This includes the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), which passed a resolution clarifying its position on IVF during its annual meeting this June.

In February, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos created through IVF were to be considered as children under state law.

RELATED: Trump Posts Video of Worship Concert as Pro-Life Evangelicals Continue To Express Concerns

“IVF has been an issue that has become political. A lot of people talking about it,” an NBC News reporter said before asking Trump, “What’s the Trump administration going to do when it comes to IVF if you get elected?”

Trump replied, “I was always for IVF right from the beginning, as soon as we heard about it—it’s fertilization and it’s helping women and men and families, but it’s helping women be able to have a baby.”

“Some [women] have great difficulty, and a lot of them have been very happy with the results, as you know and what we’re doing,” Trump added. “And we’re doing this because we just think it’s great and we need great children, beautiful children in our country. We actually need them.”

Trump then said that “under the Trump administration, we are going to be paying for that treatment. So we are paying for that treatment.”

“[For] all Americans who want it?” the reporter asked.

RELATED: Christians Respond to Donald Trump’s Promise That His Administration ‘Will Be Great’ for Women’s ‘Reproductive Rights’

“All Americans that get it, all Americans that need it,” Trump responded. “So we’re going to be paying for that treatment or we’re going to be mandating that the insurance company pay IVF.”

During the same interview, Trump also discussed Florida’s Amendment 4. The ballot measure, which will be voted on in November, is an attempt to overturn the states six-week abortion ban and enshrine the right to abortion access in Florida’s constitution.

Balancing Proclamation and Action in the Lausanne Movement: The Ongoing Debate in Mission

Lausanne
Screengrab via YouTube / @Ed Stetzer

When evangelicals from around the world gather for the fourth global Lausanne Congress (L4) in Seoul, Korea, we will once again grapple with an ever-present tension of evangelical mission. Evangelicals, like Christians for 2,000 years, will work through the relationship of the proclamation of the gospel in evangelism and the demonstration of the gospel through acts of mercy and justice.

In my role as North American Regional Director for the Lausanne Movement and as the dean of Talbot School of Theology, I’ve been able to engage this question with fellow leaders in the global church. Most evangelicals believe that both are essential to our mission, and I agree. So while I don’t speak on behalf of the entire movement, I want to share some thoughts on this tension, while reminding us not to lose our focus on evangelism. 

The Historical Context: Lessons From the Past

The Lausanne Congress first gathered in 1974, responding in part to the failure of the “conciliar” missions movement. The conciliar missions movement takes its name from the “council” of the World Council of Churches and the International Missionary Council. These groups trace their origins to the World Missionary Conference in Edinburgh, Scotland 1910. That conference made a mistake by not forming a theological foundation, requiring only belief in “Jesus.” Many redefined “Jesus,” and emphasized social justice and transformation rather than the “traditional” missions focus of evangelical and church planting. 

This shift concerned many evangelical leaders, including Billy Graham and John Stott, who were instrumental in founding the Lausanne Movement. That said, Graham and Stott ended up disagreeing on the exact relationship between gospel proclamation and gospel demonstration. Graham was a missiological “prioritist,” and Stott was a missiological “integralist.” 

Graham worried about losing the focus or “priority” of evangelism. He believed that social concerns were important, but the church’s primary mission was proclaiming the gospel so that people would repent and believe (conversion). Stott, on the other hand, had been convinced by Latino theologians such as Rene Padilla of a vision of “integral mission.” Integral mission believes that both proclamation and demonstration are “integral” to the gospel.

The Ongoing Debate: Proclamation vs. Demonstration

The tension between “prioritists” and “integralists” remains within the evangelical world at large and specifically within the Lausanne Movement. Prioritists argue that the church’s primary mission is to proclaim the gospel and make disciples. Integralists believe that the gospel also compels us to engage in acts of mercy, justice, and societal transformation.

I often say that Christians are called to “share and show” the love of Jesus. I believe both sides of this debate are correct. That said, I’ve also often pointed out that every time the church fails to prioritize evangelism, it risks losing evangelism. History tells many stories of movements that started with a strong focus on evangelism but gradually drifted away and let other concerns take its place.

Evangelicals must realize that the world generally welcomes acts of mercy and justice yet resists the proclamation of the gospel. People are happy when Christians drill wells, rescue victims of trafficking, and provide for the needy. People push back when they hear that they are sinners, that Jesus’s death on the cross is the only way to salvation, and that they must repent and believe. Because proclaiming the gospel offends the world, Christians can be tempted to focus on the aspects of the mission that are more readily accepted by society.

Integral Prioritization: A Tentatively Suggested Approach

In a book I hope to release soon, I introduce the concept of “integral prioritization.” This term affirms both the prioritists and the integralists. I believe the mission of the church is both proclamation and demonstration, “sharing” and “showing.” But I also believe that if we fail to prioritize the proclamation of the gospel, we risk losing it within a generation.

Integral prioritization acknowledges the importance of mercy and justice, while insisting that evangelism must remain central in our mission. Mission is not an either/or endeavor, but a both/and one. At L4, I hope we renew a commitment to the mission—a commitment to both proclaiming the gospel and demonstrating its power through acts of mercy and justice. We must “share and show the love of Jesus.” But, I also hope we make clear that “when everything is mission, than nothing is mission.” Lausanne has, and I hope it will continue, keeping evangelism and church planting a priority, while (rightly) calling men and women to change their world. 

Death of Teen Football Player Brings Revival to Community

Caden Tellier revival
Screengrab via Facebook / @Christ The King CEC Selma Alabama

As family and friends mourn the death of 16-year-old Caden Tellier, they’re also honoring him by worshiping Jesus and pursuing him like Caden did. The high school quarterback, who died from a brain injury sustained during an Aug. 23 game, had recently told his youth leader he wanted to see “revival” at his school and community.

That movement began Wednesday night (Aug. 28), when 600 people gathered to worship at the Cathedral of Christ the King in Selma, Alabama. The service at Caden’s home church included praise songs and invitations to know and follow Jesus.

Roxanne Jones, Caden’s youth group director, talked about the teen’s faith-filled legacy. She urged attendees, including high school football players from across the region, to get plugged into a local church.

Community Gathers To ‘Worship Like Caden’

At what was billed as “Caden Tellier Revival Worship Night,” the mood was upbeat, not somber. The crowd sang along with a live band, with people of all ages raising their arms to praise Jesus. Jones told worshipers, “A week ago tonight, Caden said he wanted to see a revival in Selma, and he’s seeing it now.” She added that revival isn’t a one-time event but a growing, lasting phenomenon.

Banners and displays at the church urged people to “Live Like Caden.” Although we can’t be exactly who Caden was, Jones said, we can “live like who God created us to be.” She added, “But man, we can live like Caden by pursuing Jesus.”

Then Jones led a salvation prayer for people who wanted to invite Jesus into their heart. For those who already know Jesus, she led a prayer to “run after” him more passionately. Jones also encouraged young people to band together in faith and to lean on one another for support.

Referring to the Motion Student Conference that Caden recently attended, the youth leader shared the power of walking with Jesus while surrounded by other believers. She also emphasized the joy of worshiping and following God, saying, “Jesus is fun!”

Teen’s Father: ‘Live Like Caden’ by Loving Jesus

Earlier in the week, Jamie Tellier, Caden’s father, described his son as someone who loved sports but who loved Jesus more. “My son’s favorite thing in the world to do was to talk about Jesus and was wanting people to follow Jesus,” he said. “If you want to live like Caden, then you love Jesus, and you put Jesus first and foremost in your life.”

Jamie, an assistant football coach at his son’s high school, said there’s no doubt that “God is using Caden and will continue to use Caden.”

Caden’s parents attended Wednesday night’s worship service but didn’t speak. The funeral for the teen, who donated his organs, will be held Sept. 4. A GoFundMe account for Caden’s family has raised more than $114,000 as of Aug. 30.

Police Officer Charged With Death of Pastor Fired From Department

Zachary Lockwood Tommie Jackson
Screengrab via WTNH

The police officer charged with the death of a beloved pastor has been fired by the Stamford Police Department in Connecticut. Zachary Lockwood, 24, struck and killed Rev. Tommie Jackson while responding to a call in July 2023. 

Jackson was the pastor of Rehoboth Fellowship Church in Stamford and was well known in the community as an urban planner and a fixture in city politics.

On July 26, 2023, Jackson was retrieving his mail from the box across the street from his home when Lockwood came around a curve in the road. Lockwood was on his way to an unrelated crash, which had escalated into a disturbance. 

Lockwood was reportedly driving at a speed of roughly 65 miles per hour in an area with a 25 miles per hour speed limit.

RELATED: Treasurer Allegedly Stole $224,000 From PA Church’s Good Samaritan Fund

According to reports, Lockwood was intermittently activating his emergency siren, with the final siren activation occurring just 15 seconds before he struck Jackson. Jackson was rushed to the hospital but later succumbed to his injuries. He was 69 years old. 

The tragic incident occurred just six months after Lockwood graduated from the police academy. 

Lockwood had reportedly been told by a dispatcher to respond to the unrelated call by going with the flow of traffic. However, Lockwood escalated his response to “Code 3,” which is the fastest and most urgent response protocol. 

After a months-long investigation, Lockwood was charged with misconduct with a motor vehicle in February. He has pleaded not guilty. If convicted, Lockwood could face up to five years in prison.

Stamford Mayor Caroline Simmons, who was a personal friend of Jackson, released a statement saying, “I am aware that Zachary Lockwood has been terminated from his position as an officer with the Stamford Police Department. My thoughts and prayers remain with the Jackson family and all those impacted by this horrific tragedy.” 

RELATED: Man Allegedly Kills Woman in Church Before Burning Building Down, Talks About Getting ‘God’s Water’

David O’Meara, president of the Stamford Police Association (SPA), said the association is “very disappointed” in the police chief’s decision to fire Lockwood.

Robert Morris’ Son Asks People To Join His Family’s ‘Church Planting Journey’

James Bridgette Morris
(L) Screengrab via https://jamesandbridgettemorris.com/ (R) Screengrab via Instagram @psbridgettemorris

James and Bridgette Morris have launched a new website asking people to join their “church planting journey.” James is the son of disgraced Pastor Robert Morris.

Robert Morris is the founder of Gateway Church in Southlake, Texas. He resigned in June after allegations came to light that he sexually abused a 12-year-old girl in the 1980s.

Robert had long been forthright regarding what he described as an “inappropriate sexual behavior with a young lady” while he was in his early 20s. He spoke openly about it in his sermons. However, he never mentioned that the “young lady” in question was actually a child.

Robert resigned as Gateway Church’s senior pastor after Cindy Clemishire, now 44, released her testimony alleging that Robert abused her.

Clemishire accused Robert of sexually abusing her on Christmas Day in 1982 and claimed that the abuse didn’t stop until 1987 when she told her parents about it. Robert was a family friend who would oftentimes spend the night at Clemishire home.

RELATED: James and Bridgette Morris Resign From Gateway Church; Max Lucado To Become Interim Teaching Pastor

James and Bridgette Morris Resign

James and Bridgette, who claim they knew nothing about Robert’s sexual abuse until Clemishire went public with her testimony, recently announced their resignations from Gateway Church. James served as the church’s associate senior pastor and was the planned successor to his father. Bridgette was Gateway Church’s executive pastor.

Gateway Church released a statement on July 25 sharing that both James and Bridgette had resigned on the “advice of many well-respected pastors and ministry leaders.”

“Earlier this week, the (church) elders met with Pastors James and Bridgette and they collectively made the decision that Pastors James and Bridgette would both step down from their current positions and from leading Gateway Church in the future,” the statement read.

RELATED: Robert Morris Resigns as Gateway Church’s Senior Pastor Following Sexual Abuse Allegations

The Gateway Church elders said that they “affirm and believe that God has placed a desire in both Pastors James and Bridgette’s hearts to serve as senior pastors of a church at some point in the future.”

James and Bridgette Morris Announce Plans to Start a New Church

James and Bridgette have now announced they are starting a new church.

“We are excited to announce the beginning of an extraordinary journey that started as a dream in our hearts to be Pastors of a vibrant church passionate about the presence of God and filled with people who love God and love people,” the Morrises said on their website.

“We believe God gave us this dream and many prophetic words, beginning when we were young, for such a time as this,” they added. “We are taking time to rest, pray, and hear from the Lord after this last season.”

RELATED: Leaked Email Reveals Robert Morris Told Abuse Survivor Cindy Clemishire That ‘God Will Not Be Mocked by Deceit’

The couple shared that they are “filled with anticipation, expectation, and hope as we hear from God about when, where, and how to plant a church” and that their “journey is not just about reaching a destination but about embracing the profound experiences and growth along the way.”

“We are confident that God is good and in control,” they said, inviting others to join them in their “adventure by walking alongside us or supporting us from afar. Together, we can experience the remarkable impact God’s goodness has on the world around us.”

A couple of weeks ago, Bridgette shared on Instagram that the couple intentionally took a break from social media in order to heal, both spiritually and physically.

‘Wall of Silence,’ a Podcast About Abuse in ACNA, Was Silenced. Now, It’s Back.

Wall of Silence
Courtesy image

(RNS) — In April, the Rev. Chris Marchand, an Anglican priest in Peoria, Illinois, launched “Wall of Silence,” a podcast about church abuse and cover-up in the Anglican Church in North America.

Two months later — at his bishop’s request — the podcast was abruptly suspended. “Yes, the Wall of Silence is being silenced,” Marchand wrote on Twitter.

The news came at a busy time for the denomination, which in June elected its next archbishop and voted on changes to its abuse protocols. For years, the young denomination has faced controversy for perceived shortcomings in its protocols on safeguarding for congregations and clergy and lay leader misconduct.

On Wednesday (Aug. 28), Marchand’s podcast resumed with a 13-minute episode explaining the project’s sudden return, without being able to fully explain where the calls to stop the podcast were coming from.

Though his bishop, Alberto Morales of the Diocese of Quincy, hasn’t granted him permission to resume the podcast, which has garnered 500-1,000 listens per episode, Marchand intends to continue.

“I have spent the last few months in discernment, prayer and receiving lots of counsel, and I do not feel that my calling to release this podcast has in any way lessened,” Marchand says in the episode. “Along with this, I do not believe my bishop’s call to obedience in this matter falls under his canonical or episcopal authority.”

Emails obtained by RNS show that on June 5, Morales asked Marchand to stop podcasting, informing him that officials at the denomination’s national level were calling for the podcast to be immediately eliminated. Archbishop Foley Beach, then the head of the denomination, was copied, and appeared to clarify in a reply that the pressure wasn’t coming from him or his office. Morales did not respond to requests for comment in time for publication.

In an email to RNS, the Rev. Andrew Gross, ACNA’s director of communications, said he could not confirm that the province, as the national church is known, asked for the podcast to be shut down. “I cannot confirm that there is any truth to that claim,” Gross said. “No current or former Provincial staff member has any knowledge of Archbishop Beach or of anyone else acting on behalf of the Province making such a request.” 

Marchand said he met with Morales in July, and the bishop warned that if Marchand continued the podcast, it could lead to them both facing a civil lawsuit, a church trial or both.

According to Marchand, Morales also suggested that the podcast represented a conflict of interest for members of the diocese who are involved in the church trial of Bishop Stewart Ruch, a leader in the Upper Midwest Diocese who has been accused of knowingly welcoming individuals with histories of predatory behavior into diocesan churches. Many of the stories featured on Marchand’s podcast took place in Ruch’s diocese, and both Morales and the diocese’s lawyer may have roles to play in Ruch’s trial.

In a conversation with RNS, Marchand said that while he is bound to obey his bishop in situations that fall under church bylaws, he does not believe this scenario applies. He is hosting the podcast as a form of advocacy for abuse survivors, he said, not preaching about it from the pulpit, and said he has been careful to present facts and avoid slander.

Beware the Backward Drift

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In John Bunyan’s classic, “The Pilgrim’s Progress,” there is a sobering picture of the experience of apostasy in the lives of those who once professed faith in Christ but who ultimately abandoned that profession. As Christian makes his way toward the celestial city, he comes to the house of a man named Interpreter.

The Interpreter is revealed to be the Apostle Paul by the descriptions Bunyan made of him. The Interpreter showed Christian seven different scenes in this house that highlight various aspects of the Christian life, dangers, and realities. The sixth of these is a man in a cage who is in utter despair. When Christian goes to this man and asks him why he is in the cage, and why he is in such despair.

The man responded by saying, “I was once a fair and flourishing Professor [professor of faith in Jesus Christ], both in my own eyes and also in the eyes of others: I once was, as I thought, fair for the Celestial City, and had then even joy at the thoughts that I would get thither.”

Christian then asked the man what had happened to him. The man said, “I am now a man of despair, and am shut up in it, as in this Iron Cage. I cannot get out; O Now I cannot.”

Christian followed up by asking him how he came to be in this miserable condition; and the man said:

I left off to watch and be sober; I laid the reins upon the neck of my lusts; I sinned against the Light of the Word, and the Goodness of God; I have grieved the Spirit, and he is gone; I tempted the Devil, and he is come to me; I have provoked God to Anger, and he has left me; I have so hardened my heart that I cannot repent.

The imagery in Bunyan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress” has left many professing believers unsettled throughout the centuries; yet, it is functionally the imagery of Hebrews 6:4-6. What are we to make of the language of this passage? Surely these are some of the most fearsome words in all of Scripture. What do we do with the language of those who “were once enlightened,” “have tasted the heavenly gift,” “have become partakers of the Holy Spirit” and “have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come?” How are we to understand the teaching that there are some who it is “impossible to renew to repentance?” Are we to conclude that they were saved and lost their salvation? Are we to understand that somehow they did not do enough to stay in a state of grace? Are we to understand that it is possible for someone to sin so much that they are past the point of repentance? A prima facia reading of the language certainly seems to lend itself to such an interpretation; but a careful consideration of them leads to a vastly different conclusion. Prior to explaining the meaning of the text, we must consider how wrong views of this passage have frequently caused damage to true believers.

Warning Passages in Hebrews

There are essentially five warning passages in the letter to the Hebrews (Heb. 2:1–4; 4:1–13; 6:4–8; 10:26–31; and 12:25–29). Of these five, none have given Christians such interpretive difficulty as Heb. 6:4–8 and 10:26–31. The spectrum of interpretive possibilities published by theologians and commentators over the centuries has not alleviated the hermenuetical challenges that come with these passages. Rather, they have often offered solutions that only serve to extenuate the minds of believers.

Towards the end of his ministry, the late Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones appealed to Hebrews 6:4-6 and 10:26-29 as “passages that the devil seems to use most frequently in order to distress and to trouble God’s people” by twisting it meaning to hold true believers in servile bondage. He wrote:

I can definitely say, after some 35 years of pastoral experience, that there are no passages in the whole of Scripture which have more frequently troubled people and caused them soul agony than the passage in Hebrews 6:4-8, and the corresponding passage in Hebrews 10:26-29. Large numbers of Christians are held in bondage by Satan owing to a misunderstanding of these particular statements. I do not say that these are the two most difficult passages in the Bible. I do not regard them as such. But I do assert that they are passages that the devil seems to use most frequently in order to distress and to trouble God’s people.

If we read the warning in chapter 6 together with the warning in chapter 10 we must conclude that the warning relates specifically to what is called, “sinning willfully.” Here too, we must tread lightly when settling on a meaning of the clause, “to sin willfully.” It might help us to say what it cannot mean prior to suggesting what the author’s meaning must be.

“Willful sin” cannot mean what the Scriptures call “presumptuous sin” (i.e., that sin that we know we should not do and yet do it anyway). We know the writer cannot be speaking of this because the Psalmist prayed that God would deliver him from “presumptuous sin” (Ps. 19:13)—thereby acknowledging that he had, at times, fallen into presumptuous sin—and that he was susceptible of falling into it again. Surely the sin of David with Bathsheba and Uriah would have been categorized accordingly. We also know that Peter’s denial of Jesus cannot be said to be the sin intended since he was personally restored by Christ. The prince of the Puritan theologians, John Owen, explained,

A man may so fall into a way of sin as still to retain in his mind such a principle of light and conviction that may be suitable to his recovery. To exclude such from all hopes of repentance is expressly contrary to Ezek. 18:21Isa. 55:7, yes, and the whole sense of the Scripture.

So what are we to make of the “willful sin” that is tantamount to “falling away” from Christ and putting oneself in a place in which it is “impossible to renew again to repentance?” The answer to this question must be determined by a consideration of what those who fall away fall away from. In Heb. 6:4-5, they are said to be those who were “once enlightened,” have “tasted the heavenly gift,” been made “partakers of the Holy Spirit,” and “tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come.” The writer is noting that something has really and truly been experienced in the lives of those who are in danger of falling away. That something is that they have had the influences of the Spirit of God at work on them in the realm of spiritual gifts and experiences. Thomas Peck, the Southern Presbyterian theologian, noted,

 The illumination and other spiritual endowments enumerated in the fourth and fifth verses are not “things that accompany salvation,” that is, are not so inseparably connected with salvation but that they may belong to persons who never have been and never will be in favor with God. In other words, they are spiritual gifts, not spiritual graces…Gifts may be lost, graces never can. It is gifts, not graces, which are predicated of those who may fall away, in the passage under consideration.

In other words, the phrase cannot mean that a true believer can fall from saving grace. We know this to be true because of such passages as John 6:3710:28Romans 5:1-218:18:28-30Phil. 1:6; etc. There are so many passages that speak of the definitive safety true believers have in the Person of Jesus Christ. Because of the perfections and finality of his saving work, those who are in union with him by faith are also safe; since we cannot have an infallible knowledge of who has a true and saving profession of faith—in contrast from those with a false and temporary profession—all we can do is look for the fruit and perseverance they exhibit. This is why the writer of Hebrews can follow what he said in vv. 4-6 with what he says in verses 10-12.

Karl Vaters: Your Small Church Has What People Need the Most Right Now

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Karl Vaters has been in pastoral ministry for over 30 years. He is the teaching pastor of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship, a healthy small church in Orange County, California. Karl has written several books, including his latest, “The Church Recovery Guide: How Your Congregation Can Adapt and Thrive after a Crisis.” At KarlVaters.com, he shares resources to help small church pastors lead well and capitalize on the unique advantages that come with pastoring a small church.

Other Ways to Listen to this Podcast with Karl Vaters

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Key Questions for  Karl Vaters:

-As you reflect on the past 12 months, what do you think is the general state of the small church in the U.S.?

-What do you mean when you say that every church must “figure out why your congregation should survive”?

-Are there any advantages to being independent from technology when recovering from a crisis? 

-How can ministry leaders effectively address financial challenges like lower giving or a tighter budget? 

Strong Ministry Is About Playing Offense

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We rant and rave about the drugs, depression, social media and violence that are ravaging our youth. And, yes, these are critical issues that must be faced head on and dealt with. We are in a cultural moment where the church is reeling. Pastors morally failing, congregations politically dividing, BLM, CRT, OMG. We are living in crazy times. And many pastors are whirling, running from one dumpster fire to the next trying to throw a cup of water on each of them. But, as the church, we often forsake playing offense when it comes to youth ministry.

And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. Matthew 16:18

It’s not our job to put the fires out. It’s our job to preach the Gospel and to get our congregations doing the same. As Charles Spurgeon once said, “It’s the whole business of the whole church to preach the whole Gospel to the whole world.

So what’s a pastor to do? What action can a church leader take that will put the fires out once and for all? It’s not just about taking vapes out of their hands or Smartphones out of their rooms.

It has been said, “The best defense is a good offense.” It’s about calling them to something bigger, something better, something biblical. We must help our teenagers grasp the glorious reality of the Gospel,  that salvation is more than a ticket to heaven, it’s a train ride through life that reveals their true identity, belonging, and purpose in Christ.

We must inspire them to be used by God, to be change agents on their campuses, and ambassadors of Christ in their communities. We must treat the teenagers in our churches, not as apathetic narcissists waiting to be entertained, but as missionaries waiting to be unleashed.

Pastors, church leaders, youth leaders: it’s time for playing offense.

Now is the time to mobilize your congregation and your youth group to advance the Gospel. Now is the time to energize your people to share the cure for racism, division, confusion, and delusion.

I saw this play out in my own family growing up. My family and our neighborhood was a violence-drenched mess. My uncles were so violent that the Denver mafia nicknamed them “the crazy brothers.” To add insult to the real possibility of injury our very Welsh and very white family was right in the middle of a largely Latino community. Suffice it to say that our streets and hearts were rife with racism.

How to Balance Structure & Spontaneity in Worship

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How do we create a healthy balance between structure and spontaneity in worship?
Although the foundation for a worship set is practicing a specific list of songs with the band, there are tender moments in the service that we simply can’t plan for in advance.

These moments are sometimes silent, sometimes musical, usually spontaneous, and often emerge as part of the collaborative movements of worship in a fellowship.

Some spontaneity in your worship sets will encourage the community to engage in unique and fresh ways in the midst of a service. However, it can be difficult to flow as a band without ground rules that help us do it well together.

How to Balance Structure & Spontaneity in Worship

Here are some tips on creating that ideal balance between structure and spontaneity, and how to lead your band through spontaneous moments.

Consider the bones and the body.

Our bones are the rigid super-structure of our bodies. The bones contain us so we don’t fall apart.

They order our muscles and systems, administrate our movement, and direct the vital life flow systems within the body. The structure – the bones – are flexible to some degree, but not as flexible as the rest of the body itself.

This is an analogy for how we can view those spontaneous moments in worship.
There are people who fulfill bone roles in our band, and people who fulfill more flexible body roles.

Bone roles can lock down a sound and keeping a steady foundation of groove for the spontaneity happening in a worship set.

The drummer and the bass player, and sometime a keyboard or rhythm guitar, fulfill bone roles, keeping a repeating vamp happening while other instruments play over top. More flexible body roles, on the other hand, can be guitars, keys, and voices.

They can flex their muscles, create unique motion, and experiment with new things.

We need both bones and body in spontaneous worship. Make a plan for the bone roles, and, 90-100% of the time, stick with the plan.

Then, in your band rehearsals, map out where the fluidity – the free- form and spontaneous moments – may come in.

Prepare for spontaneity.

Instead of just “hoping” spontaneous moments go the way you want them to, you can to prepare your band for the spontaneity.

Point out which chorus you think might need some room to breathe and be repeated instrumentally.

Give the band a heads up that you’ll be repeating 4-8 specific bars of music in a loop (called a vamp) if you say the word, until you give them the cue to move on.

Also tell your fellow worship leaders in rehearsal when you think the fireworks might occur, or when you want to experiment musically.

If you communicate well with your team in rehearsal about these possible moments, instead of just flying by the seat of your pants, over time your team is going to grow in their ability to anticipate those moments – and be more effective as a worship leading force.

Little Missionaries: Teaching Kids to Spread God’s Love

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Developing little missionaries in your children’s ministry is doable. In fact, it happens weekly in Sunday school classrooms. Young evangelists profoundly impact people all around them by sharing Jesus’ love.

By nurturing seeds of faith in young hearts, we empower kids to spread the gospel everywhere they go. Learn how children’s ministry leaders and parents can inspire kids to be everyday missionaries.

Reasons to Grow Little Missionaries

Most children are naturals at connecting with others. With their innocence and enthusiasm, kids break down barriers that hamper adults.

Your students may not have theological depth or life experience yet. But they possess something more valuable: pure, childlike faith. This kind of trust can move mountains and touch hearts!

Set the Stage for Missions Work

Before children can share their faith, they must understand what it means to follow Jesus. Parents and Sunday school teachers do that through Bible lessons, prayers, and discussions. So lay the groundwork with these strategies:

1. Bring the Bible to life.

God’s Word tells of many missionaries, from Old Testament prophets to New Testament apostles. Share these accounts in age-appropriate ways. Teach via puppets, videos, and skits. Seeing how other people serve God inspires kids to do the same.

2. Focus on Jesus’ commands.

Jesus taught us to love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves. (See Matthew 22:37-39.) Teach little missionaries that faith-sharing is an act of love. Using everyday examples, focus on kindness, service, and friendship.

3. Memorize Scripture.

Next, equip kids with simple, powerful Bible verses they can share. Verses like John 3:16, “For God so loved the world…” and Matthew 28:19, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” are easy to remember. These verses serve as starting points for faith-sharing.

Faith-Sharing for Children

After setting a foundation, help kids actively share their faith. Practical ideas include:

  • Role-Playing Scenarios—Have kids practice talking about Jesus. For example, one can pretend to be a friend who doesn’t know the Savior. Then another can talk about Jesus dying for us. This helps children get comfortable talking about faith in a safe environment before doing it elsewhere.
  • Missions Projects—Teach kids that missionary work happens not just in far-off places. It starts right where they are. So organize local projects for Sunday school students. They can make cards for homebound people, collect canned food, or clean up a park.
  • Peer Evangelism—Children strongly influence their peers. Remind them to invite friends to church. Practice talking about faith in everyday situations. Because kids are curious and open to learning from one another, peer evangelism is powerful.

Faithful Futures: Nurturing the Next Generation of Believers

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Youth ministers are in the field of building faithful futures. So are pastors, teachers, and parents. Guiding young people spiritually is a privilege and also a challenge. With all the pressures and distractions teens face, youth leaders play a vital role in nurturing young believers.

Faithful futures is a term that reflects God’s promise to give his children hope and a future. That’s why Jeremiah 29:11 is such a popular confirmation and graduation verse. But faithful futures also represents the commitment that young people make to God. Church leaders help shape the next generation of believers. So let’s look at our commitment to ensuring faithful futures for teens.

Focus on Faithful Futures 

Youth ministry isn’t just about keeping teenagers engaged in church. It’s about preparing them to be active members and leaders. The decisions and commitments teens make can set the trajectory for their entire spiritual journey.

Merely attending youth group isn’t sufficient. Move beyond that, equipping kids to live out their faith in meaningful, life-changing ways. Start with these key steps:

1. Build a Strong Foundation of Faith

Your youth ministry priority is helping kids form a solid faith foundation. That will carry young Christians through life’s ups and downs. During the building process, remember these tips:

  • Teach core biblical truths. Focus on essential truths of the Christian faith. Explore the nature of God, the meaning of Jesus’ life and sacrifice, and the role of the Holy Spirit. Equip teens with a solid understanding of the Bible so they can rely on its teachings when challenges arise.
  • Make faith personal. Help students develop a personal relationship with God through prayer, Bible study, and worship. Encourage teens to spend time with God outside of church activities. The key? Help kids make their faith their own. That way, their faithful futures won’t depend on their environment, their peers, or their parents.
  • Use mentors. Pair young people with mature Christian adults. Mentorship offers support, accountability, and valuable guidance.

2. Create a Supportive Community

Young people are more likely to have faith-filled futures if they feel belonging and connection at church. Engage kids by:

  • Focusing on relationships. Create an environment where every young person feels welcome and valued. Encourage bonds based on mutual respect, kindness, and shared faith. Small groups are especially effective for forging deeper connections.
  • Planning varied activities. Keep young people engaged with a mix of fun, educational, and spiritual activities. Retreats, mission trips, and service projects are great ways to strengthen faith while building community. These experiences create lasting memories and deepen commitment to the church.
  • Addressing real-life issues. Teach about peer pressure, social media, mental health, and identity. Offer biblical guidance plus space for discussion. This shows teens that faith is relevant to daily life.

Healing From Guilt and Shame With NICC: Bridging Psychology & Faith

Guilt and Shame
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In the nuanced landscape of human emotions, guilt and shame stand as profound markers of our inner life, reflecting our deepest values, fears, and desires. Within the framework of Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® (NICC), the exploration of these emotions extends beyond their psychological dimensions, embracing theological insights to offer a holistic understanding of their impact on an individual’s well-being.

Guilt and shame, though frequently conflated, embody distinct experiences that influence our psychological health and spiritual journey in unique ways. This article delves into the complexities of guilt and shame, elucidating their differences through the lens of NICC, which intertwines the rich tapestry of Christian theology with the intricate findings of psychology and neuroscience. By understanding the nuanced distinctions between guilt and shame, we embark on a path toward healing, growth, and a deeper connection with our authentic selves and our Creator.

Shame vs. Guilt

The differences between guilt and shame, especially in the context of Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® (NICC), draw upon both theological and psychological insights. Guilt and shame, while often used interchangeably in everyday language, signify distinct emotional experiences with unique implications for an individual’s psychological and spiritual well-being.

Guilt

Guilt is typically understood as the emotional response to having done something wrong or failing to do something right. It is action-oriented, meaning it is tied to a specific behavior or set of behaviors. Guilt says, “I did something bad,” and it can lead to repentance, seeking forgiveness, and making amends. From a Christian perspective, guilt can be seen as conviction from the Holy Spirit, prompting individuals to reconcile with God and others (2 Corinthians 7:10). The psychological literature also recognizes guilt’s adaptive role in motivating behavior change, repairing social bonds, and fostering moral growth.

Shame

Shame, on the other hand, is more pervasive and relates to one’s sense of self. Shame says, “I am bad,” implying a fundamental flaw or inadequacy in one’s being. It is not just about what one has done but about who one perceives themselves to be. Shame often leads to hiding, withdrawal, and a sense of worthlessness, which can severely impact an individual’s relationship with others and with God. In shame, there is a deep-seated belief that one is unworthy of love and connection. Theologically, shame has been addressed through the narrative of grace and redemption in Christ, emphasizing that one’s identity is found in being loved and accepted by God, regardless of one’s flaws or failures (Romans 8:1).

NICC, with its emphasis on emotional healing informed by both neuroscience and Christian theology, addresses guilt and shame through a process of uncovering deep-seated beliefs about oneself (related to shame) and one’s actions (related to guilt). This involves exploring the origins of these feelings, differentiating between healthy conviction leading to repentance (guilt) and destructive beliefs about one’s worth (shame), and integrating principles of forgiveness, grace, and identity in Christ.

The therapeutic approach includes helping individuals to understand and experience God’s unconditional love and acceptance through relational experiences with people, thus countering shame’s core message of unworthiness. For guilt, the focus may be on facilitating confession, forgiveness (both receiving and offering it), and the repair of relationships damaged by one’s actions, aligned with biblical teachings on reconciliation.

Guilt is action-oriented and can lead to positive moral and relational outcomes when handled constructively, while shame is self-oriented and often requires neutralizing through a process of identity reformation grounded in understanding one’s inherent worth and belovedness by God. NICC’s approach to counseling encompasses strategies to address both, offering pathways to healing and restoration that bridge psychological insights and biblical truth.

The Neuroscience of Guilt & Shame

Research in the field of neuroscience has provided insights into how guilt and shame are processed differently in the brain. A meta-analysis focusing on functional neuroimaging studies of healthy individuals investigating the neural substrates of shame, embarrassment, and guilt found that both emotions are associated with activation of the left anterior insula, which is involved in emotional awareness processing and arousal.

However, guilt-specific areas were located within the left temporo-parietal junction, linked to social cognitive processes. Shame and embarrassment, on the other hand, activated areas related to social pain (such as the dorsal anterior cingulate and thalamus) and behavioral inhibition networks (including the premotor cortex), indicating a distinct pattern of neural activation that reflects the unique action tendencies and experiences associated with these emotions​​.

Further psychological perspectives suggest that while guilt can be considered an adaptive emotion, leading to prosocial behavior and efforts to amend wrongdoings, shame is often associated with avoidance behaviors and negative self-evaluation. Guilt involves a focus on the action and its consequences on others, promoting behaviors like apologizing, making reparations, and seeking forgiveness. Shame, however, is more self-focused, leading to behaviors aimed at hiding or escaping the source of shame​​.

These findings underscore the complex and distinct roles that guilt and shame play in our emotional lives and social interactions, as well as their unique neurobiological underpinnings.

Treating Shame

Shame, understood as a response to guilt in the absence of an internal working model of secure attachment and relational connection, forms a profound sense of being flawed or unworthy of love and acceptance. This emotional experience is intensified when individuals lack a secure base that communicates unconditional acceptance and love, especially in moments of failure or moral wrongdoing.

From a NICC perspective, the absence of a secure attachment internal working model leads to a vulnerability where guilt—typically a response to specific actions or behaviors—transmutes into shame, a more pervasive and damaging sense of self. Guilt says, “I did something bad,” whereas shame declares, “I am bad.” This distinction is crucial for understanding how individuals process their actions and their self-worth.

In the therapeutic context, the focus is on the importance of creating a secure therapeutic alliance and fostering emotional engagement and bonding. This approach helps individuals explore painful emotions within a safe relationship, allowing for the identification and transformation of maladaptive internal working models that contribute to shame .

Mismatch work, a core component of NICC, leverages the neuroscience of memory reconsolidation to introduce corrective experiences that counteract the original memories or beliefs underpinning shame. By activating these memories in the context of a secure, attuned therapeutic relationship and introducing experiences that starkly contrast with the original shame-inducing messages, individuals can integrate new, healing narratives into their sense of self​​.

NICC’s treatment protocols further underscore the tailored application of these therapeutic principles to specific issues related to shame, anxiety, depression, and other emotional struggles. Through structured mismatching experiences, individuals are guided to confront and transform the deep-seated beliefs and emotions that fuel shame, fostering a sense of worthiness and acceptance​​.

Biblical principles integrated into NICC offer a spiritual dimension to healing from shame. Scriptures that affirm God’s unconditional love and acceptance, incarnationally modeled by the counselor, provide a powerful counter-narrative to feelings of unworthiness and flaw. For instance, Romans 8:1 states, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” emphasizing that one’s identity and worth are not defined by failures or shortcomings but by their inherent value as children of God.

NICC addresses shame by combining therapeutic techniques that foster secure relational connections and emotional processing with the transformative power of spiritual truths. This integrated approach not only challenges the internalized messages of shame but also promotes the development of a new, more compassionate and accepting internal working model.

Conclusion

In the quest to navigate the turbulent waters of guilt and shame, Neuroscience Informed Christian Counseling® (NICC) offers a beacon of hope, blending the empirical insights of neuroscience with the transformative power of biblical truth. This integrative approach not only illuminates the distinct pathways through which guilt and shame impact our lives but also provides a roadmap for healing that honors both our psychological complexity and our spiritual identity.

By differentiating between the action-oriented nature of guilt and the self-oriented depths of shame, NICC guides individuals toward a place of compassion, acceptance, and redemption. Here, in the convergence of science and faith, we find a profound source of resilience, enabling us to embrace our inherent worth and step into the fullness of our identity as beloved children of God. Through the therapeutic journey, individuals are equipped to transcend the constraints of guilt and shame, emerging with a renewed sense of purpose, belonging, and hope.

REFERENCES

  1. The Neural Signatures of Shame, Embarrassment, and Guilt: A Voxel-Based Meta-Analysis on Functional Neuroimaging Studies
  2. A Comparison of the Social-Adaptive Perspective and Functionalist Perspective on Guilt and Shame

This article originally appeared here

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