How To Apologize When You Mess Up in Youth Ministry

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January 2, 2024

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

The details don’t really matter. Maybe you lost a freshman in the corn maze. Maybe there was a fight—like an actual fight—about predestination. Or maybe it was more serious. A volunteer said something inappropriate. Kids acted recklessly when you were responsible for them. We all mess up, and we all say we’re sorry. But we don’t all know how to apologize well.

People are naturally awful at apologies. We mutter and struggle to look the other party in the eye. We try to apologize for “what happened” and hesitate to admit our own fault. That makes people upset.

But in youth ministry, the stakes are even higher: A bad apology will make the problem worse. That’s why you need to get it right and know how to apologize effectively.

First, try really hard not to screw up. Then, when that doesn’t work, apologize this way.

How to Apologize (and Mean It)

1. State precisely what happened.

Be very clear about the reason behind your apology. You’re not sorry about “what happened at the retreat.” You’re sorry you allowed the boys to walk to the convenience store at 2 a.m.

If you’re apologizing for some vague thing that happened at some point, it’s like you’re not really apologizing for anything at all. To issue a legitimate apology, acknowledge exactly what you did wrong.

2. Never, ever make qualifications or excuses.

Apologize, then end your sentence with a period. Never apologize with a comma, and never, ever follow that comma with a “but”: I’m really sorry the boys were unsupervised, but …

An apology means accepting blame. When you qualify an apology, you’re shifting blame. It’s impossible to really apologize unless you’re willing to take blame yourself.

3. Explain what will change in the future.

Parents want to know you’ll protect their children better next time. So you’re not merely hoping this doesn’t happen again. You’re working to make sure it doesn’t.

It might be important and beneficial to take an extra hour or two before you apologize. That way, you can figure this out.

4. When you screw up, use this template.

Mrs. Anderson, I’m incredibly sorry the boys were walking unfamiliar streets well past midnight. It was reckless and dangerous. And it shouldn’t have even been possible for students to be unsupervised that way for so long.

I’ve spoken with some ministry friends, and they’ve shared a very simple solution. At future overnight events, I’ll make sure to pull my bed directly in front of the doorway. That way, students can’t sneak out without my knowing.

I really am sorry, and I hate that I allowed this to happen. I’m serious about making sure these kinds of things don’t happen again. And I want to make sure I regain the trust of your family in the future.

How to Apologize: Why It Matters

Here’s why it’s so important to apologize well: You’ve already messed up once. (If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t need to apologize.)

When’s the last time you had to apologize for something? How did that go? What will you change in the future, and what will you tell kids about how to apologize?

What Does It Mean That God Is Just To Forgive?

By

Mike Leake

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January 2, 2024

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

“God, I screwed up….”

Do you realize what wonderful glory you are accessing when you utter those words from a penitent heart? Your confession is connected to the character of God and it leads to action from God.

He is faithful…He never fails. He never lets down. He never fails to respond consistently to our confession. He always applies His great and wonderful promises of grace and mercy to our humble confession. Always.

This is where we typically put an emphasis on this verse. We rightly note how God’s loving and merciful character leads to his action of forgiving us and cleansing us of unrighteousness. God is faithful to respond to your confession with His cleansing grace.

But John wants us to connect these actions to another aspect of God’s character; namely, He is just. This means that God is righteous in forgiving a penitent sinner. It is consistent with His character and it is the right thing to do. It is right for God to cleanse the one who asks for cleansing.

He will forgive you, and it’s right for him to do it.

He will cleanse you, and it’s right for him to do it.

Consider the implications of this, though. This means that it would be unjust for God to withhold forgiveness from you when you confess. It also means that the righteous character of God also works to remove the stain which accompanies that which we are confessing.

If you have confessed your sin, live as if it’s been cast into the ocean to be seen no more. If you have confessed your sin, don’t be surprised by the scrubbing that’s coming. God doesn’t just forgive, he also cleanses. He un-dragons us.

But this also means—and you can see the connection here with verse 8—that it would be unjust for God to forgive and cleanse you apart from confession. It would be unrighteous for God to grant forgiveness to someone who desires to continue in rebellion.

I believe understanding this verse helps us to also understand how to faithfully apply Ephesians 4:32. In the same way that God forgives, so also do we. It’s unjust for God to forgive and cleanse apart from confession. So what does this mean for us?

This speaks nothing of our desire or posture of forgiveness. As in 1 John 1:8-9 it appears that God’s faithful character means that He is ready to forgive upon confession. But if we foolishly continue in our lie and say “we have no sin” (or “we have nothing to repent of”), then we are withholding this forgiveness and cleansing from ourselves. This would have massive ramifications for how we evangelicals typically treat those who are caught in sin.

I believe this misunderstanding is connected to our propensity to shame victims and protect perpetrators. We are quick to talk about our need to forgive the wrong-doer and we labor to cleanse them of the consequences of their actions and often this is without any evidence of confession. This is not just.

Let us be bold in confessing. And let us be bold in living in the forgiveness and cleansing purchased for us by the Lord Jesus. Let us lean into the truth that God’s justice executed in the shed blood of Jesus requires that penitent sinners are forgiven and cleansed. And let us fully acknowledge the necessity of a life of repentance*.

*I realize that some could take these words here to develop a theology which would be contrary to the gospel. What I mean is that some could assume that this verse (or my words here) are teaching that if you have any unconfessed sin upon your deathbed then you will be unable to access forgiveness and cleansing. I don’t believe such a position is defensible. We are united to Christ upon faith and repentance and we are united to the whole of Christ and the whole of His work. I believe what 1 John is talking about here is how to consistently live out this eternal gospel. This is why I chose that phrase “a life of repentance.” That is what is consistent with redemption.

This article originally appeared here.

Taking Stock of the State of Church Communications

By

Bryan Haley

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January 2, 2024

I recently asked our Insiders community how they would describe the state of church communications. The results quickly affirmed what I’m sure we all already know:

There’s a renewed emphasis on communication.
Communicators are tired.
We’ve allowed the urgent to overtake the important.

Sundays happen every seven days, so it’s certainly challenging to take a real break for evaluation time. So let me help. Let’s talk about three moments to seize on right now for church communications as a whole. Then I’ll give some advice about evaluating your own church’s communications.

A renewed emphasis on communications

Nearly a year ago (anyone else find it hard to believe that we’ve been in this situation for a year?!), our world got flipped upside down. Worship services stopped meeting in person. Schools shuttered. Midweek ministries all but ceased. Quickly, everything—and everyone—turned to online. Churches started Zoom prayer gatherings. We promptly started or increased our capacity for live streaming worship services. We turned to streaming services, online shopping, food delivery services—you know the drill by now.

For the state of church communications, this meant that suddenly there was a renewed emphasis on how (and what) the church communicates. All of a sudden, everything became a critical piece to communicate effectively. People in our congregations needed to know how to connect to Zoom; they needed to see when that weekly prayer call was happening; the congregation and the broader community needed to easily access the Sunday live stream.

The role of the communicator became a central piece to the church’s overall ministry strategy. (I’d argue the communicator should always have been an integral part.) Now that we’re here let’s do something with it! Now is a great time to think strategically. Communication is central to the work and ministry of the church. What are you putting in place now to ensure that the state of church communications retains its prominent standing whenever a new normal happens?

Communicators are exhausted

Whether you’re a Communications Director, a volunteer, or the Senior Pastor, I think this statement rings true: As a communicator, you’re tired. You’ve been running, basically nonstop, for the last year.

For many communicators, this renewed emphasis on communications also meant a sudden need without the time to plan or execute a strategy properly. And, for the most part, there hasn’t been time to build that strategy amid the pandemic. It’s been a year of playing catch-up.

5 Things to Do in January to Connect More People in the New Year

By

Mark Howell

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January 2, 2024

Want to connect more people in 2020? There are a few things you can do now to exponentially connect more people in the coming year.

5 Things to Do in January to Connect More People in the New Year

1. Plan a connecting event in early February.

If you run the event on February 10th or 17th, you’ll have several weeks to promote it. Use a strategy like a small group connection in order to launch the maximum number of new groups. Small group fairs or other events that add members to existing groups are better than nothing, but don’t come anywhere near connecting the largest number of people for the year.

2. Think strategically about the placement of your 101 class.

If your 101 class is designed to offer a short list of next steps and you’ve slotted your connection event to follow a week or two later, you have an easy and effective one-two step that leads to more people connected. At Canyon Ridge we have a 60 minute experience called NEXT that is offered about every 6 weeks. The three next steps that are promoted during NEXT are baptism, an upcoming small group connection (1 or 2 weeks after), and signing up for a back-stage tour designed to expose unconnected people to serving opportunities.

Authentic: A Closer Look at the Word of the Year

By

James Emery White

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December 31, 2023

Sometimes, when a dictionary announces its “Word of the Year,” it’s trying to put forward a word that was newly created to match a new cultural dynamic, or a word that describes something popular or what was significant to the news cycle.

Which is why I didn’t see this word coming.

Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year for 2023 is authentic. In other words, they picked a word that reflected what all of us, right now, seem to most long for. It’s what we’re all thinking about, writing about, hoping for, and judging others by.

It was the right choice. Particularly in light of all things AI (artificial intelligence), political posturing, celebrity culture, leadership hypocrisy, deep fakes and, of course, social media.

As Merriam-Webster notes:

Authentic has a number of meanings including “not false or imitation,” a synonym of real and actual; and also “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” Authentic is often connected to identity, whether national or personal: words frequently modified by authentic include cuisine and dish, but also self and voice. Celebrities like singers Lainey Wilson, Sam Smith, and especially Taylor Swift all made headlines in 2023 with statements about seeking their “authentic voice” and “authentic self.”

Simply put, in our world, authenticity is what “brands, social media influencers, and celebrities aspire to be.” Which means, ironically, that authenticity can become a performance.

Other words stood out to the dictionary for 2023, such as:

… rizz (romantic appeal or charm),

… deepfake (an image or recording that has been convincingly altered and manipulated to misrepresent someone as doing or saying something that was not actually done or said),

… coronation (due to the ceremony to crown Charles III),

… and dystopian (the depiction of a dark potential future).

But I think they got it right with authentic. Which, as a report by National Public Radio quipped, shows that it certainly wasn’t picked by AI. But what is most interesting is that authentic wasn’t picked by Merriam-Webster, either.

Their selection was based solely on how many people used their website to look up its definition. Authentic was the word that was looked up more than any other word.

Which tells us that it really is what people are looking for.

This article originally appeared here and is used by permission.

12 Keys to Picking Great Songs for Worship

By

Mark Cole

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December 31, 2023

Picking great songs for worship is one of the most important skills a worship leader needs to learn. There are many different kinds and levels of worship songs. Some songs are written about God, some songs are written to express our feelings, some songs are sung prayers, some songs are upbeat praise songs and some songs are pure worship to God. And many Christian songs are performance songs and really don’t fall into the great worship songs category.

There are fast songs, medium songs and slow songs. There are difficult songs and easy songs. There are old songs and new songs. But what are the best songs for us to sing with our congregations? What songs help our congregations to sing with all their hearts and connect with God?

Here is my philosophy of picking great songs for worship distilled from 10 years of traveling, writing charts for Praisecharts.com and over 25 years of leading congregations in worship.

12 Keys to Picking Great Songs for Worship

Great Songs:

Learn to pick great songs, not just doable songs. Great songs are the ones that you will still love to sing a year from now. Different songs have a different ‘shelf life.’ Some songs you don’t mind singing a few times, but after that you just seem to forget them. Generally speaking, a congregation learns between 12-20 songs per year. Make them great songs! Pick congregationally friendly songs that line up with God’s word!

Test of a Great Song:

One of the tests of a great song is that you catch yourself singing it by yourself, in your car, in your house or when you are out on a walk. Or a congregational member tells you that they have been singing that new song you introduced all week. Or you hear your spouse singing that new song.

3 Ways Prayer and Fasting Opens Doors

By

Kie Bowman

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December 31, 2023

Every follower of Christ who seeks God with prayer and fasting can experience sudden and surprising open doors of spiritual opportunity, even if those open doors were never apparent before. It has happened in Scripture and it has happened to me. I am certain it will happen for many others as well.

A Biblical Pattern for Prayer and Fasting

A prayer summit, involving a handful of key leaders, opened unexpected doors as the leaders were worshipping, fasting and praying. Paul and Barnabas, and three other gifted and significant leaders, had been in the midst of a genuine city-wide spiritual awakening in Antioch for well over a year. Hungry to know the steps they were to take next, they pulled away from the day to day ministry to hear from God.

The Holy Spirit spoke to them clearly and gave them a vision and a direction they had apparently never considered before. At least 10-15 years had passed since the Resurrection had occurred, and since the Great Commission had been issued, but no one had made any substantial efforts to reach the Gentile world yet. While the devoted team fasted and prayed, however, a new door suddenly opened. The Spirit clearly directed them to spread the gospel to Gentiles

That unexpected open door led to what we commonly call Paul’s first missionary journey (Acts 13:1-4). The world was permanently changed out of that prayer and fasting in that meeting when a new door.

1. My own open doors from prayer and fasting

Open doors always swing wide to reveal God’s continuing plan to save more people. It happens when we fast and pray. Recently it happened to me as I was participating in a city-wide call to 40 Days of fasting and prayer. While the open door I experienced obviously cannot compare to Paul’s call to world evangelism and missions, it was, nevertheless, an exhilarating and eye opening opportunity for ministry I never saw coming. The more I considered what God was doing in my life, the more my mind raced with faith, fresh ideas, and vision for our church and our city. There is no doubt in my mind this door burst open because several of us were fasting and praying. As this new door of ministry was unexpectedly opening before me I felt, and described it to others, as if I had stepped through a previously unnoticed door, into the blessing of God.

That’s the way God works. We fast and pray, committing our time and disciplining our bodies, and God blesses us with amazing opportunities for His work which we find to be richly and unpredictably satisfying. When you are in the center of His activity, it seems to be the nearest thing to heaven you ever find on earth.

2. God opens doors for you with prayer and fasting

How can you experience the blessing of open doors? God is sovereign and frequently resists our simple and sometimes self-serving formulas—especially if they are an attempt to manipulate how or when He will act. However, since His character never changes, it is possible to glean from Scripture what God expects of us when we desire to walk through open doors of unexpected blessing.

Here are three principles to remember.

1. The Holy Spirit can speak to us individually—and He does—but in the New Testament it is far more common to witness a fresh burst of God’s unfolding plan when God’s people were fasting and praying together. So, as you fast and pray, join with other like minded and devoted believers and fast and pray as a group. It’s amazing what God does when we unite.

2. Rick Warren said it best—“it’s not about you!” The unexpected open doors that ultimately bring you the most satisfaction are those which bring the most glory to God. That’s what you want isn’t it? Aren’t you tired of the false promises of a “me centered” faith? Expect and “pray into” the open doors which further the gospel of Jesus and accelerate His mission through you. You will experience far more of God’s best when you focus on His agenda.

3. Always take action—no matter how small the step may be—in the direction God is leading. Paul’s first trip was not really that far from his ancestral home in Tarsus. But that first trip expanded his capacity for more. When the door opens—go through it. Leave the extent of the blessing to Jesus. Just be obedient in the small steps and He will likely broaden your path in the future.

When we fast and pray we put more spiritual “octane” on our service and ministry to the Lord. Fasting and prayer boosts the intensity of everything we do for Jesus. In addition, fasting and prayer helps us recognize the open doors God places before us. Why wouldn’t we want all of this?

If you have rarely or never fasted before, seek some practical guidance, start from where you are, then pray and believe. Ask God to use you as never before as the doors begin to open!

This article on prayer and fasting originally appeared here.

Books on Prayer and Fasting

5 Questions Leaders Should Be Asking as They Finish 2023 and Move Into 2024

By

Brian Dodd

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December 30, 2023

Leaders are about to turn the page from 2023 and to 2024. As they do so, I was reminded this past week of five questions they should be asking.

5 Questions Leaders Should Be Asking as They Finish 2023 and Move Into 2024

The following are five questions leaders should be asking as they finish 2023 and move into 2024:

Looking Back at 2023

For the past 55 years, Mattel’s Hot Wheels cars has been a staple of many children’s (and adult’s) lives. As noted in this USA Today article, these toys are still thriving. While many toys have fallen by the wayside or become obsolete, why do Hot Wheels continue to remain so popular?

In addition to their low price and quality, Bruce Pascal said, “You identify with the toy that came out in your childhood.”

So much so, many adults have become collectors. Anita Smith said, “Most collectors get into hobbies that remind them of the best times of their lives. And the best times of their lives was generally childhood, getting that toy on Christmas, or on a birthday.” She adds, “When I get a Redline in the mail now, it can look just as beautiful as when it was just off the assembly line 55 years ago. And I get that same feeling as was when I was a child at five or seven years old.”

Here’s the leadership lesson we learn from Hot Wheels cars: You cannot successfully move into the future without first touching the past.

Leaders, what did you learn, who did you meet, and what did you experience in 2023 which will help you be a better leader in 2024?

The First Responsibility of Leadership

Management expert and former CEO of Herman Miller, Inc Max Dupree famously said, “The first responsibility of leadership is to define reality.” His statement has been quoted often and generally accepted as fact. While it may be sacrilege, I must respectfully disagree with Mr. Dupree.

The first responsibility of leadership is not to define reality but to lead yourself well. If you can’t lead yourself first, you simply cannot lead others.

A couple of other thoughts on Dupree’s famous statement:

I do believe defining reality is the second responsibility, so it is obviously vital to effective leadership.
Defining reality is not a problem I see in many leaders. They are highly competent and can see what is working or not in their organization. The problem is not defining reality, it is denying it.

Leaders, are you willing to summon up the courage to not deny but rather deal with your 2023 realities in 2024?

Regressive Performance vs. Progressive Performance

One of the many realities leaders must deal with is the performance of those on their teams.

9 Reasons Some Pastors Overstay Their Calling

By

Karl Vaters

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December 30, 2023

We’ve all seen it, haven’t we? The pastor who may have done great ministry in the past who stays on long after their effectiveness has waned. But the congregation loves them too much to deal with it, so the church stops being led properly, then starts to decline.

A church can stay in a state of decline like this for years, even a decade or more. This is not only hard on the church while it’s happening, it makes the situation extremely difficult when a new pastor eventually does arrive.

Sometimes they’re staying too long in a church they should have left. Sometimes they’re staying too long in pastoral ministry after they should have retired. That’s why the podcasts this month aren’t just about longevity, but about how to leave well, too.

So why do some pastors stay too long? Here are a few reasons:

1. Their Identity Is Wrapped up in Being a Pastor

Retirement can be hard on pastors because pastoring isn’t just a job, it’s a calling. And sometimes that calling can be confused with our identity.

Many pastors don’t just wonder what they would do if they left the pastorate, they wonder who they would be.

2. They Can’t Bear to Say Goodbye

True shepherding pastors aren’t just putting in the hours, they’re making relationships – deep, lasting relationships. But then, in most cases, when they stop pastoring the church they’re required to stop attending the church. They don’t just lose their job, they have to say goodbye to their relationships, their spiritual home and more.

3. Lack of Financial Options

Retirement is almost impossible for most pastors because most of us haven’t put sufficient money away to retire on. And even in younger years it’s hard to leave one church until you have another pastorate lined up right away — especially if you have a family to care for.

4. A False Theology of Non-Retirement

This isn’t frequent, but it’s not rare, either. Some pastors link the command to be a minister (which is for every Christian) to their role as pastor (which is only for some, and sometimes for a season). This can cause them to feel disobedient to God if they’re not holding the title of pastor.

5. They Have Nothing Else to Do

When I transitioned from the very active role of lead pastor to the less active role of teaching pastor, I still had a lot to keep me busy, as evidenced by the article you’re reading and so much more.

10 Characteristics of Pastors Who Finished Well

By

Chuck Lawless

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December 30, 2023

faithful unto death — Lightstock #157086

How can we finish well in ministry? Today, I’m thinking about pastors I knew who finished well—those who faithfully served God all the way to death. Here are some of their characteristics that challenge me to live differently today.

1. They oozed humility.

Though they, like all leaders, at times wrestled with a desire to be somebody, they knew from the beginning that the work of the gospel was not about them—it’s about Jesus.

2. They always knew they could be steps away from a fall.

They weren’t so foolish as to think they could not fall. Their honest recognition of the possibility made them ever alert and prayerful.

3 At the same time, the thought of failing Jesus was almost a foreign thought.

They just loved Jesus, and serving Him meant more to them than anything. Even the thought of letting Him down broke their hearts.

**4. They planned to finish well.**

That is, they didn’t end well by accident. They made a commitment to finish well each day, and the faithful days became years.

5. They were firmly committed to their families.

They adored their spouses and children, and everybody knew it. Serving God meant building their homes on His Word, praying daily with their family, and protecting their time with them.

Identity Theft Charges Dropped Against 901 Church Pastor Stevie Flockhart

By

Jesse T. Jackson

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December 29, 2023

Identity theft charges were dropped against 901 Church lead pastor Stevie Flockhart by Shelby County Judge Ronald Lucchesi on Wednesday (Dec. 27).

Flockhart, who has been a contestant on the hit television singing shows “American Idol” and “The Voice,” was arrested in November for identity theft and theft of merchandise between $2,500 and $10,000.

According to an arrest affidavit, Flockhart and a church member, the alleged victim Mark McCall, opened a credit card for the church a few years ago. McCall told police he was reluctant to do so and later discovered that his credit score had dropped due an unknown credit card that was opened in his name and had over $6,000 in unpaid debt.

“It was the absolute worst betrayal of my life, hands down,” McCall told FOX13 after he found out the the judge dropped the charges against Flockhart.

McCall said he and Flockhart had been friends since the pastor was a teenager and indicated that he had trusted the pastor. He told a local news outlet that Flockhart “referred to me like a second dad. I mean, I was like a second parent to him. I treated his family like they were my own kids.”

McCall said Flockhart asked him to open an American Express credit card for 901 Church that would have both of their names on it.

“He called and said, ‘I got American Express on the phone. I need your information and we’ll get this card going’. We had already agreed to have both of our names would be on the card,” McCall said. But McCall later found out that he was the only name on the card and that another account had been opened in his name.

McCall said that after researching the statements, he “discovered that what [Flockhart] had done is fabricated a document to look like an American Express statement but he had cut and pasted the line items to look how he wanted them to look.”

Fox13 reported that this isn’t the first time Flockhart has been accused of fraud. Flockhart is currently on probation for forging the names of church members at his previous church in Cherokee County, Georgia, to sign a property lease without their knowledge or consent.

ChurchLeaders has reached out to Flockhart via social media for comment and will update this article if we receive a response.

Candace Cameron Bure Has Joined the ‘James 1 Club,’ Thanks to Trials and Cancel Culture

By

Stephanie Martin

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December 29, 2023

After facing recent challenges and public scrutiny, Christian actor Candace Cameron Bure said she has been welcomed into the “James 1 Club” by her brother. Initially, Bure was confused by Kirk Cameron’s reference. “What are you talking about, and why are you so happy?” she asked the fellow actor. “They’re saying bad things about me in the news.”

When Bure looked up the Scripture, she realized her brother was referencing the words, “Consider it joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2). That testing, James continues, leads to perseverance and maturity (vs. 3-4).

Candace Cameron Bure on Taking ‘Punches’

Bure, 47, spoke about those trials earlier this month on her self-titled podcast. Co-host Bianca Juarez Olthoff asked Bure to describe a challenge in her life that eventually felt like a gift. In response, Bure shared that she’s faced “some recent challenges in my life that I have not really publicly discussed yet.” Although she has “taken punches before in my industry,” she said the recent media coverage was at a whole different level.

Bure, chief creative officer for the Great American Family (GAF) channel, has been accused of being homophobic because she defends traditional marriage. Bure, the “Full House” and “Fuller House” alum who has starred in numerous Christmas movies, left Hallmark for GAF in 2022.

On her Dec. 13 podcast, Bure said people likely assume her “skin is a lot thicker than it is” because she has strong beliefs and leads with her faith. “So when I had a lot of these bullets kind of hit me in the last year or so, they’ve been a really big challenge to me personally, to my heart, to my character, to my relationships, to my jobs,” she said. “And I remember being so upset over it because it’s like, how do you recover?”

Bure continued, “I’ll just say it. Cancel culture is very real. And they were trying to cancel me.”

After sharing the James 1 epiphany from her brother, Bure noted that being in that “club” has become very meaningful to her, as she has continued to face new trials. “And I know they’re still gonna come,” she said. “They’re still here. They’re waiting for me.”

‘Live With Conviction,’ Advised Candace Cameron Bure

During her conversation with Olthoff, Bure admitted she “could have bailed” on public life. “Cause truly, I just wanna live my life with conviction, but I’m just trying to live my life. I’m not necessarily trying to put my life on anyone else,” she said.

“You don’t have to necessarily be [a public figure] to live with conviction,” Bure added. “But when you do in a public place, then you have to be ready for some of those fiery darts to be thrown at you in a bigger public platform. They’re in front of everyone.”

Christian Hip Hop Is ‘Good Music From the Church to the World,’ Says Lecrae in ‘TODAY’ Show Appearance

By

Jesse T. Jackson

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December 29, 2023

Grammy Award-winning rapper Lecrae, who is arguably Christianity’s most popular hip hop artist, was interviewed by “TODAY” show co-host Craig Melvin last week (Dec. 22) to discuss the 20-year anniversary of the release of his first album, “Real Talk.”

Lecrae shared how he has been able to witness what began as an “underground movement” blossom into a something that is now nationally known.

Describing Christian hip hop in the early 2000s, Lecrae told Melvin, “It was like an underground movement. I remember in 2011 being able to do the BET Awards and being on a national stage and just the world opened up.”

“I’m not ashamed to acknowledge my faith—that I believe in Jesus,” Lecrae said in response to a question about whether he considers himself a Christian who performs hip hop or a hip hop artist who is a Christian. “But I do think ‘Christian’ is a better noun than it is an adjective. It’s like, who am I—and that defines me as a person. What I do is different, and so I want to be respected for what I do.”

The Reach Records cofounder also answered a question regarding the criticism he’s received from church leaders and fans for talking about social justice.

“When I talked about racial injustice, people perceived it as being political. I was like, no, I’m being biblical,” Lecrae said, going on to reference Jesus’ famous Good Samaritan parable. “I care about people who are broken. They couldn’t understand that.”

Lecrae believes that Christian hip hop is both “good music for the church and it’s good music from the church to the world.” He added, “That’s beneficial for everybody.”

Melvin told his co-hosts that the goal of the Christian hip hop is to “introduce the goodness of God to a new audience. So what they’re doing is meeting the audience where they are with a genre that they can relate to.” Melvin also commended Lecrae for not just talking the talk, but walking the walk, referencing how Lecrae does a lot of work in his community and helps mentor young men.

Radio personality and “TODAY” show co-host Carson Daly said that what Lecrae is doing “needs more press” and thanked Melvin for doing the interview. Daly added, “The light has got to be shined on this genre of music and get more publicity.”

The Top 20 News Articles on ChurchLeaders in 2023

By

Dale Chamberlain

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December 29, 2023

Top articles popular articles — Clockwise from the top left: Screengrab via YouTube / @American Idol; L: Photo by Jesse Jackson; R: Screengrab via X / @derekwebb; Screengrab via YouTube / @T.D. Jakes; Jonathan Roumie as Lonnie Frisbee and Kelsey Grammer as Chuck Smith in the film, JESUS REVOLUTION, a Lionsgate release. Photo courtesy of Dan Anderson; L: Screengrab via X / @seanfeucht; R: Screengrab via YouTube / @Recording Academy / GRAMMYs; Screengrab via YouTube / @ ECLC Videos; Screengrab via YouTube / @LIVEKellyandRyan; Screengrabs via YouTube / @Hillsong Church; Screengrab via TikTok / @swifts.clips; Screengrabs via YouTube / @greglaurie; L/R: Screengrabs via Instagram / @jackiehillperry; M: Krenn9, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons; Photo courtesy of Prime VideoL: Screengrab via YouTube / @FOX Sports; R: Screengrab via Ebay.com; Screengrab via X / @Protestia; Screengrab via X / @waynebray; Screengrab via Instagram / @lysaterkeurst; Screengrab via YouTube / @Sports Spectrum; L: Beth Moore speaks to ABC News’ Linsey Davis about her new memoir. Screengrab via X / @ABCNewsLive. R: Jill Duggar Dillard appears on the “Shiny Happy People” docuseries. Photo courtesy of Prime Video; Interscope Records, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons; Photos courtesy of Malachi O’Brien

From the weeks-long revival service at Asbury University in Wilmore, Kentucky, to the release of Christian films and shows that provoked faith and courted controversy—and to everything between—2023 has been an eventful year for American Christians.

Throughout the year, ChurchLeaders has followed several national stories, as well as highlighted the work of local ministers and everyday Christians. Some of these stories were uplifting. Others were devastating, disturbing, and sometimes even bizarre.

So much has happened this year that it would be easy to forget some of it. Nevertheless, faithful Christians believe that God is working through all of it for good.

Most Popular Articles on ChurchLeaders in 2023

Here are the most popular news articles on ChurchLeaders from 2023 based on what our readers have clicked.

20. Francis Chan, Rick Warren Do Not Attend National Collegiate Day of Prayer at Asbury To Keep It Free of Celebrities

In February, notable names such as Francis Chan, Rick Warren, and Allen Hood were scheduled to help lead the National Collegiate Day of Prayer at Asbury University before a spontaneous, multi-week worship service broke out. After discussions between Asbury University administration and the National Collegiate Day of Prayer team, the decision was made to keep the event 100% celebrity-free.

19. ‘I Saw the Vision of Jesus Christ’–‘Paper Planes’ Rapper Shares She Has Become a Born-Again Christian

M.I.A. — Interscope Records, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

British rapper M.I.A., known for her singles “Bad Girls” and “Paper Planes,” has become a born-again Christian after having a vision of Jesus. The artist, whose real name is Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam, spoke out against people who have been critical of this spiritual change in a social media post in December 2022.

18. Beth Moore Shares What She ‘Didn’t Realize’ Before Watching the New Duggar Family Docuseries

When the docuseries “Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets” released in June, it revealed to author and Bible teacher Beth Moore just how much the teachings of Bill Gothard, which the Duggars promoted, have shaped her communities.

17. ESPN Analyst Dan Orlovsky Prays for Damar Hamlin on Live TV—‘Maybe This Is Not the Right Thing To Do, but I Want To’

On Tuesday, Jan. 3, ESPN analyst Dan Orlovsky told viewers, “Maybe this is not the right thing to do, but I want to,” right before praying for Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin during an episode of NFL Live.

16. Lysa Terkeurst Reveals She Has a New Love Interest: ‘It’s Been the Biggest Surprise’

In June, author and ministry leader Lysa TerKeurst shared with her Instagram followers that she has a new love interest. The news came a year-and-a-half after TerKeurst announced her marriage of 29 years was ending due to the repeated unfaithfulness of her now ex-husband, Art TerKeurst.

The Most Important Stories From the Vatican in 2023

By

Claire Giangrave

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December 29, 2023

VATICAN CITY (RNS) — In a year that began with the funeral of his predecessor, Pope Francis, who marked the 10th anniversary of his own election in March, stepped up his reforms of the Catholic Church, and by year’s end he could point to a series of wins in shoring up Vatican finances, reducing corruption and enacting his plan for a more welcoming and inclusive church. He had also marginalized several outspoken critics.

But 2023 also exposed the weaknesses of this pontificate. Under Francis, the church continued to stumble in dealing with sexual abuse, extending the perception the hierarchy still doesn’t take the problem seriously. Despite concerted diplomatic efforts, the pope failed to project real influence over foreign affairs, especially in the major conflicts in Ukraine and the Mideast. His age and his medical scares, meanwhile, had many Vatican players considering a church under Francis’ own successor.

But as the following top stories of 2023 from the Vatican show, Francis steadily made news by pushing his vision for the church despite the challenges.

1. Pope Francis strengthens his position inside the Vatican and beyond

For much the first 10 years as pontiff, Pope Francis lived in the shadow of the previous pope living inside the Vatican. With Pope Benedict XVI’s funeral Jan. 5, Francis was finally able to move past the Benedict era, cementing his legacy while eliminating opposition in and outside the Vatican.

Pope Francis adjusts his skull cap at the end of his weekly general audience in St. Peter's Square at The Vatican, Wednesday, March 15, 2023. Francis passed his 10th anniversary as pope on March 13. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

Pope Francis adjusts his skullcap at the end of his weekly general audience in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican, March 15, 2023. Francis passed his 10th anniversary as pope on March 13. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

In early January, papal critic Cardinal George Pell died in a Roman hospital due to complications from hip replacement surgery. Pell had issued memos to fellow prelates calling Francis’ pontificate “a catastrophe.”

In June, Francis sent a delegation to investigate the diocese of Bishop Joseph Strickland of Tyler, Texas, a vocal opponent of Francis’ pontificate, and in August rapped his American conservative critics for, he said, replacing faith with ideology. By November, Strickland had been fired from his post, and soon after the pope removed Cardinal Raymond Burke, who had replaced Pell as the de facto leader of conservative opposition, from his Vatican apartment and took away the cardinal’s stipend.

The pope also solidified his position at the Vatican by appointing a close friend and fellow Argentine, Monsignor Victor Manuel Fernández, to lead the Discastery of the Doctrine of the Faith. Francis later made Fernández a cardinal, along with 20 others. The pope has now appointed a majority of the cardinals who will elect his successor.

2. The Synod on Synodality shows a new way to govern the church

Pope Francis poses for a picture with participants of the Synod of Bishops’ 16th General Assembly in the Paul VI Hall at the Vatican, Oct. 23, 2023. (AP Photo/Gregorio Borgia)

The month of October saw a major summit of Catholic bishops and lay individuals at the Vatican, called the Synod on Synodality, convened by Francis to address issues raised by worldwide listening sessions in local dioceses. The gathering considered questions ranging from LGBTQ inclusion to female ordination to church structure.

Ahead of the summit, in April, Francis made an unprecedented decision to allow lay Catholics, including women, to have a vote at the synod. Its lively discussions were for the most part kept under wraps at the pope’s urging, but reports showed that the most time was spent on the roles of women and laypeople.

The final document emerging from the synod did not usher in the sweeping changes some had hoped for — and others had feared. Instead, it suggested that synodality, a way of governing the church through dialogue, was the church’s future. While the Catholic world waits for the second part of the summit, scheduled to take place next fall, it’s up to the pope to discern and guide its impact.

The Hidden Flaw in Visionary Leadership: Why Charisma Isn’t Enough

By

Gavin Adams

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December 29, 2023

You’ve heard it a thousand times in leadership: People engage to VISION.

The thought is that casting a compelling enough vision compels everyone (staff, employees, customers, etc.) to engage in your organization.

But this suggestion is only partially correct.

Vision alone isn’t enough. A trusted vision through proven execution engages people. Words may trick people once, but not twice.

Leadership Charisma Is Like an Empty Vision Statement

There’s a connection between unexecuted vision and charismatic leaders.

Just like a vision that never comes to fruition, a leader relying only on their charm and charisma finds it challenging to build influence with their team, employees, and organization.

A charismatic leader looks great on the surface, but like beauty, charisma is only skin deep.

If leadership is about influence, then time is required. Influence takes time to grow and requires more than charisma to sustain.

Stepping Into New Leadership Roles

In my new book, “Big Shoes To Fill,” I walk leaders through stepping into new leadership roles. While researching the topic, I found how frequently leaders rely on their charisma to win over their inherited teams.

And then they find out charm isn’t enough.

Sure, a portion of charisma is helpful, but more is needed.

This is true for all leadership spaces but is especially critical for leaders stepping into new roles. When you inherit a team, department, division, or organization, everyone has one predominant question: How will this leadership transition affect me?

4 Things You Should Never Ever Do in Marriage

By

Dave Willis

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December 29, 2023

Something my great-grandfather said once about children sheds some light on conflict in marriage. My great-grandfather was a wise, tough, hard-working Indiana farmer who was married for almost 70 years and together with my great-grandmother, raised nine children. He had a gift for boiling life’s challenges down to simple, memorable maxims. He once summed up the challenges of raising kids by saying, “Kids… When they’re little, they step on your toes. When they get bigger, they step on your heart.”

That quote has relevance to marriage as well. In marriage, there will be times when you “step on each other’s toes,” so to speak. But the really hurtful moments happen when you “step on each other’s hearts” and wound your spouse on an emotional level. There are times when one spouse might intentionally try to hurt the other, but I’m convinced that many of the most damaging wounds in marriage are inflicted unintentionally.

I’m convinced that there are times when we step on our spouses’ hearts and hurt their feelings or damage their trust without even realizing that we’re doing it. Most of us have blind spots that lead to unnecessary pain and conflict in the marriage. If you’re stuck in a cycle of conflict, please watch this short video from Jimmy Evans on how to resolve conflict in marriage before reading the rest of this article.

4 Ways to Avoid Unnecessary Conflict in Marriage

If you want to protect your spouse’s heart, prevent unnecessary conflict and keep a solid foundation of trust in your marriage, then please DON’T do the following four things.

You’ll unintentionally hurt your spouse every time you…

1. Only try to “fix” the problem.

Men especially tend to be “fixers” and we want to jump straight to solutions as soon as a problem pops up. But this can be an issue for both men and women. You must first take the time to listen to your spouse and connect with them. When you rush through that time to connect, it communicates to them that they are unloved. There’s a time to talk solutions, but the first priority must always be to simply be there for each other and show your love for each other.

2. Make plans without consulting each other first.

Whenever you tell your spouse what the plans are instead of starting by asking their thoughts on the potential plans, you communicate disrespect. Consider your spouse first in every decision you make, because every one of your decisions will impact them in some way. When your buddies ask you to play golf on Saturday, instead of just saying “Yes,” say, “That sounds like fun, but let me check with my wife and see what we have going on this weekend.”

3. “Check out” other people.

If your head spins around every time an attractive person walks by, even if you don’t say a word, you’ve communicated a lot. Your spouse doesn’t just want you to be physically monogamous; they want you to be mentally monogamous. Your spouse wants to know you have eyes only for them. If you’re checking out other women, you’re damaging your wife’s confidence in herself AND her confidence in you. If you’re checking out other men, you’re communicating that your husband isn’t enough to meet your needs. Whether it’s someone on the street or on a screen, watch carefully where your eyes wander.

4. “Hide” your spouse instead of highlighting them.

If you try to keep your marriage compartmentalized or “separate” from the other parts of your life, you might think you’re just protecting your spouse, but you’re actually hurting them. This is revealed in things like not wearing a wedding ring, not posting pictures of the two of you together online, not having a picture of them prominently displayed on your desk at work or a million other little things that send the silent message that they’re not a central part of your life. Show the world that you’re married and you’re so proud, honored and thankful to be sharing your life with the spouse of your dreams!

Avoid these four common mistakes relating to conflict in marriage and you’ll be on the right track to building a stronger marriage. For additional tools to help you grow in your relationship with your spouse, check out all the resources at MarriageToday.com.

This article originally appeared here.

10 Dangerous Myths About Church Growth

By

Brian Orme

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December 29, 2023

Myths about church growth are rampant because there’s a lot of discussion that goes on about church growth: What causes it; how to generate it, prepare for it, launch it, build it, cultivate it and even, to some degree, manufacture it. Many of the discussions are helpful, but there are a number of subtle beliefs that still creep up that aren’t healthy. In fact, they’re downright superstitious and, at times, dangerous to the church.

I’ve collected these myths about church growth over many conversations, coffees and lunches with church leaders and I’d like to share them with you.

10 Dangerous Myths About Church Growth

1. If You’re Not Growing, Something’s Wrong

If growth and a bigger crowd is “always” the result of obedience then some of the OT prophets will have some serious explaining to do.

Of course, if you’re not growing—or you’re declining—I think it is cause to evaluate what you’re doing, but it’s not a given that something is always “wrong.”

God could be doing something different—more Jeremiah and less Peter.

Also, while we’re at it, let’s stop using the Acts 2 passage as a normative prescription for every church today. It’s an amazing description of something special God was doing in history to launch his church, but it’s not a church growth manual. A casual reading of the NT will show churches of all different shapes and sizes, and never once is there a declarative statement that the church should be growing faster than it was—more obedience, yes; helping the poor, yes; staying true to the Gospel, yes; practicing the Lord’s Supper and baptism, yes.

2. The More You Grow, the Healthier You Are

We would love to believe this one. It certainly feels good to have a bigger crowd. There’s a built-in justification for ministry leaders when more people show up, I know. However, just because your church has more people attending doesn’t mean your church is completely healthy. In fact, it might be cause to closely evaluate the message the crowd is hearing.

Growth can be healthy, and it can be a very good thing—it’s just not an automatic four-stars for healthy spirituality. Large numbers are no more an indicator of health than great wealth is an automatic indicator of wisdom. You can be wealthy or impoverished and still be wise or a fool. The same goes for church growth. You can have a lot of people or a little and still be healthy/unhealthy. Health deals more with what’s going on below the surface. Growth tells us something’s going on, but whether it’s good or bad, that’s another issue.

3. Contemporary Music Will Save Your Church

It can help at times—depending on the community and the people you’re trying to reach—but it’s not always a help. In fact, sometimes it’s an obstacle.

Changing your music and the feel of your worship gathering should have a reason bigger than, “We want to reach young people!” or, “We want to stay hip.” Hopefully, the music you sing is an authentic expression of your distinct makeup as both a church and a community and not a grasp at straws for church growth. Bottom line: Contemporary music is not the salvation of the American church.

4. Church Growth Can Be Manufactured

I admit, on the surface it does seem like we can manufacture church growth—through events, strategy, planning, etc. However, what I mean to say is true church growth is a work of the Holy Spirit—a byproduct of our obedience intersecting God’s sovereignty.

True church growth is not due to our efforts alone. You can spend money and market an event and draw a crowd. That’s not hard if you have the resources. But church growth—growing the actual Body of Christ—is a supernatural accomplishment that only God can complete. This should temper our planning, strategy and vision for growth.

5. If Your Church Grows, Your Leader Is “Anointed”

OK, this one I hesitated to put on the list because I think it’s common sense. We’ve all seen the carnage from large church leaders who hide ongoing sin. Would we call them anointed? Probably not. Leading a large church doesn’t make you “anointed” by God and the flipside is true as well—leading a small church or ministry doesn’t mean you lack it.

Of course, I do firmly believe God puts a special anointing on specific leaders to do something of great magnitude for the church at times—D.L. Moody, Charles Spurgeon, Billy Graham, etc.—but we should be careful about how we use the terminology or draw conclusions about just what it means to be “anointed” in ministry.

God Sees What Is Done in Secret

By

Ray Hollenbach

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December 29, 2023

I am in my usual place. I close the door. My room feels secure. I start to read. My mind hears the sound of my own voice. I am the narrator: “Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them . . .” Of course these are not my words, but I hear them in my own voice. I’ve been here before. The words continue, “. . . so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”

Because I’ve come to this place often. These words are as familiar as my morning coffee, yet each morning I can savor the smell and taste anew. I make a note in the margin of the book. “He sees what is done in secret. He rewards.” I consider the fact he also sees the murder and adultery in my heart. Am I comfortable that he sees me in secret? There is danger and reward in what he sees. Other people see only the surface. They reward, too, with smiles and words of praise.

“Go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” The voice in my head sounds less like me–it begins to blend with another voice: one sure and steady. He’s telling me about my Father.

When Leaders Fall “They’re Only Human” Doesn’t Help Our Disillusionment

By

Melanie J. Saward

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December 29, 2023

It seems like it is impossible to go through a month without hearing of another Christian leader and their misdemeanors. The phenomenon is interpreted differently. Some feel like Pastors are being victimized as believers post their judgements all over social media. Others would prefer to ignore it and avoid all discussions. But unfortunately some Christians have been trying their best to battle through the disillusionment that can often happen when people you trust are discovered to have a secret life.

So what exactly is disillusionment? To be brief, it is the shock, confusion, emotional and/or psychological instability that arises when you realize that the world or aspects therein, don’t work the way you once believed it to. These beliefs that we put our trust in, aren’t necessarily doctrine. They are formulas we have derived through life experience, that we assume to be biblical. For example: “If I do Christian things like serve at church, regularly attend church, read my Bible, pray…I will avoid hard things”. Often it’s not until a challenging situation, that we discover we had these beliefs in the first place. But disillusionment can settle in, in the process of relearning such beliefs.

For any person who is genuinely struggling with the disillusionment that has arisen in relation to such leaders, it is inevitable at some point that you will hear the statement, “Well the fact is they’re only human”. The statement is meant to imply that leaders are only humans too, open to the same temptations and frailties that all humans are. For a disillusioned person the statement couldn’t be more frustrating. They know that the person is only human, but usually that’s not the problem upending your previously perfect worldview. Here are four reasons why this statement can be incredibly difficult for a disillusioned person to swallow:

Why “They’re Only Human” Doesn’t Help

1. It can be dismissive

For the genuinely disillusioned person, they often can’t make sense of the mess in their head. All they have is a sense that something is not right, and no obvious way to organize that confusion. None of the confusion they are experiencing is intended to come across angry, or judgmental. They’re just doing the best they can to find psychological and emotional clarity, which is often buried underneath a massive mess of thoughts. Sometimes the reason we make a statement like this is because we feel some need to defend the leader. Maybe the disillusioned person is being too harsh or we can just sense that they have a really imbalanced view on the situation. And we may be right! Maybe we feel compassion for the leader…and that’s okay too. But if the cost of asserting our opinions equates to a dismissal of a believer’s very genuine and active process of internal reorganization, it probably isn’t worth it. At least not in that specific moment.

How to Apologize (and Mean It)

1. State precisely what happened.

2. Never, ever make qualifications or excuses.

3. Explain what will change in the future.

4. When you screw up, use this template.

How to Apologize: Why It Matters

A renewed emphasis on communications

Communicators are exhausted

5 Things to Do in January to Connect More People in the New Year

1. Plan a connecting event in early February.

12 Keys to Picking Great Songs for Worship

Great Songs:

Test of a Great Song:

A Biblical Pattern for Prayer and Fasting

1. My own open doors from prayer and fasting

2. God opens doors for you with prayer and fasting

Here are three principles to remember.

5 Questions Leaders Should Be Asking as They Finish 2023 and Move Into 2024

Looking Back at 2023

The First Responsibility of Leadership

Regressive Performance vs. Progressive Performance

1. Their Identity Is Wrapped up in Being a Pastor

2. They Can’t Bear to Say Goodbye

3. Lack of Financial Options

4. A False Theology of Non-Retirement

5. They Have Nothing Else to Do

1. They oozed humility.

2. They always knew they could be steps away from a fall.

3 At the same time, the thought of failing Jesus was almost a foreign thought.

4. They planned to finish well.

5. They were firmly committed to their families.

Candace Cameron Bure on Taking ‘Punches’

‘Live With Conviction,’ Advised Candace Cameron Bure

Most Popular Articles on ChurchLeaders in 2023

20. Francis Chan, Rick Warren Do Not Attend National Collegiate Day of Prayer at Asbury To Keep It Free of Celebrities

19. ‘I Saw the Vision of Jesus Christ’–‘Paper Planes’ Rapper Shares She Has Become a Born-Again Christian

18. Beth Moore Shares What She ‘Didn’t Realize’ Before Watching the New Duggar Family Docuseries

17. ESPN Analyst Dan Orlovsky Prays for Damar Hamlin on Live TV—‘Maybe This Is Not the Right Thing To Do, but I Want To’

16. Lysa Terkeurst Reveals She Has a New Love Interest: ‘It’s Been the Biggest Surprise’

1. Pope Francis strengthens his position inside the Vatican and beyond

2. The Synod on Synodality shows a new way to govern the church

Leadership Charisma Is Like an Empty Vision Statement

Stepping Into New Leadership Roles

4 Ways to Avoid Unnecessary Conflict in Marriage

1. Only try to “fix” the problem.

2. Make plans without consulting each other first.

3. “Check out” other people.

4. “Hide” your spouse instead of highlighting them.

10 Dangerous Myths About Church Growth

1. If You’re Not Growing, Something’s Wrong

2. The More You Grow, the Healthier You Are

3. Contemporary Music Will Save Your Church

4. Church Growth Can Be Manufactured

5. If Your Church Grows, Your Leader Is “Anointed”

Why “They’re Only Human” Doesn’t Help

1. It can be dismissive

New Articles

New Podcasts

**4. They planned to finish well.**