Night time for many men and women is danger time. Before I got free of my addiction to pornography night time was a dangerous time for me. It was a time when I was tempted, especially after a particularly long day of work, to look at pornography. During this time of my life, now well over a decade ago, I would often sadly give in to the siren call of lust and selfishness.
Perhaps your struggle isn’t with pornography. You might struggle with going to the store or some restaurant to get ice cream late at night, or an extra snack after you’ve already eaten a full meal. Night time as danger time doesn’t have to be restricted to only pornography. Each one of us has specific temptations and points where we are being pressured to cave into temptation.
In my own walk with God, I’ve learned that it’s best at night if I’m alone I leave my phone on my nightstand charging. I don’t pick it up for any reason other than if my wife, mom or a close friend calls. This also ensures that I’m guarding my heart against temptation. In the evening I don’t get on my laptop except for rare circumstances where I have a burning article idea and feel the need to write. My evenings are spent with my wife reading, talking to her, or I’m at some event, or with a good friend.
To guard your heart and protect your marriage, you are going to have to be intentional. If you struggle with sexual sin of any kind in your life, nighttime is danger time. It means that you need help, whether that’s putting your phone on the nightstand or somewhere else in your residence; do it.
Pornography is crippling the lives of many men and women. It is selling them a bill of goods that seems to promise much but at the end of the day doesn’t. Instead, it leaves them bound in the shackles of guilt and shame; instead of in the freedom of hope in the gospel.
To fight for our growth in God’s grace and to stand firm in the Lord, we need to do the following: 1) we need ourselves to be growing in the gospel, 2) we need to understand the place of accountability, and lastly, 3) we need a plan of attack.
Growing in the gospel
First, we need to come to understand that our sin offends God. Jesus didn’t die so we could all have a group hug and join a social club. Instead, He died in the place of sinners and for their sin so they would put their sin to death. Theologians call this progressive sanctification that is daily growing into who we are already in Christ now. In other words, because we are His and He is ours, now we can love God and others as He intends for His glory.
We can see the awfulness of our sin only because the veil that clouded our vision has been removed by God when He replaced our heart of stone with a new heart, with new desires, and new affections for His glory. When nighttime temptation comes is not the time to prepare against the allure of lust. The time to prepare for the siren song of lust is beforehand.
We do this by understanding that if we just cave into the siren song of lust our fellowship with God will be broken. We remain wholly Christ’s, but Christ is not an approver of our sin. Our security remains in Christ, but our fellowship with the Lord is broken because of our sin. This is why 1 John 1:9 tells us we are deceived.