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3 Relationships That Keep First Time Guests Attending Your Church

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When my wife, Consuela, and I first started attending the church we’re at, we were just another face in the crowd. Seated in the back of the sanctuary with a couple of hundred other people, this interracial couple with a very young baby stopped by to check things out. We had been to other churches and tried them, but none of them seemed to be a good fit. This church was our last try before we settled. But something different happened. Something different than we had experienced at the other churches we visited. We connected, in a meaningful way, to people that fit into three distinct categories. And I believe that these three categories contain the key to retaining first time guests who are searching for a church home.

3 Relationships That Keep First Time Guests Attending Your Church

1. Another church-goer.

This is someone who attends the church and often fits in the same demographic as the first-time guest. They sit in the same row, attend the same service and/or are in the same life-stage. The value here is that the first-time guest knows that they will be accepted and that there’s the potential for friendships at your church.

For my wife and me, we connected with another interracial husband and wife who had a baby close to the same age as us. Now, six years later, we are still close friends with them and have been going through life together as friends. That friendship helped us feel accepted and led to other friendships later on.

2. A non-pastoral leader.

This could be a life group leader, a head usher or anyone who is in a leadership position (volunteer or paid) within the church. This is someone who can answer some questions about the church and point the way for first time guests to go deeper and get connected quicker. The non-pastoral leader is looked at as a person who represents the church in an official capacity.

After Teens Graduate: 8 Ways to Keep Kids Connected to Church

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After teens graduate from high school, the youth minister’s “shepherd” calling means they don’t graduate from our lives. Most churches offer little for college-age students. That means your voice and presence in their lives is still primary. Youth workers care and connect with our kids, no matter how old they get!

So retain and extend your post-graduation influence in one or more of these ways.

8 Steps to Take After Teens Graduate

1. Build post-grad bridges.

Spend focused time prepping teenagers for the next step in their journey. Our youth ministry does this in several ways. First, we invite kids on a college trip in January of their senior year. Then we host a connection event during the spring. Finally, in the summer we overlap high school and college ministry activities.

But even if your church lacks a college ministry, hosting a seniors-only small group or taking a senior trip can accomplish the same result. The goal is to get kids involved in something that compels them to stay connected with a caring leader after they leave home and when they return on breaks.

2. Get college addresses before grads leave.

We do this by offering a small e-gift card to Starbucks or a fast-food place that has locations everywhere (something every college student needs). They complete the address form, and we send the card. Bribery works, friends!

And if that’s not budget-friendly, send a self-addressed, stamped postcard to a parent, and let them know what you’re trying to do. They’re typically overjoyed to share that information with a youth leader volunteering to help the college transition.

3. In their first month away, send a personal note.

Include a prayer and scripture passage. Also write a memory that reminds them “whose” they are—and where you are, if they need you!

4. If they attend school close-by, spend a few travel days during the semester to show up for lunch!

College kids are probably poor. Really poor. And most are definitely tired of cafeteria food. Gifting them with lunch off campus offers them a chance to open up with you.

Phil McGraw and Ed Young Discuss God’s Calling, Parenting and the ‘Woke Mob’ During Sunday Service

phil mcgraw
Screengrabs from YouTube / @EdYoung

Dr. Phil McGraw recently spoke at Pastor Ed Young’s Fellowship Church (FC), where McGraw shared his thoughts on topics including parenting, envy, and the importance of the church to society.

“The church brings something to the family unit that causes cohesion, that causes values to be thought of and talked about and prayerfully considered,” McGraw said, speaking on the importance of marriage and the family. “Family in America is under attack. We need to fight back with the tools we have, and one of the tools that we have is our active relationship with God.”

RELATED: Ed and Lisa Young Share LeeBeth’s Cause of Death, How God Has Been Faithful

Phil McGraw Joins Ed Young in Sunday Service

Phil McGraw is a clinical psychologist and television personality who rose to fame through his appearances on “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” He is perhaps best known for his syndicated television program, “Dr. Phil,” where he offered advice to guests and which aired for over 20 years.

McGraw has been the subject of various controversies throughout his career. Some of these surround his decision in 2006 to stop his license to practice psychology and his overall approach to psychology on his show. He has also been accused of abusive and unethical practices and has been the subject of several lawsuits. 

Ed and Lisa Young are the founding pastors of Fellowship Church, a megachurch in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Pastor Ed Young spoke to Phil McGraw onstage in front of the FC congregation in a conversation posted to the church’s YouTube page on Sunday, April 7.

Calling McGraw “one of the most powerful voices in the world today,” Young began by mentioning McGraw’s new book, “We’ve Got Issues: How You Can Stand Strong for America’s Soul and Sanity” and McGraw’s new media network, Merit Street Media, which has a business partnership with Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN).

McGraw observed that society in the United States has undergone significant changes since “Dr. Phil” first aired in 2002. In particular, he pointed out the increasing influence of the internet and smartphones. While technology is beneficial, it allows misinformation and conspiracy theories to spread quickly. McGraw also mentioned cults, saying that at 10,000, “We have more cults active in America today than at any time ever before today.” 

People are hesitant to speak the truth nowadays because of cancel culture, but McGraw said he is not afraid to speak up against the “woke mob” trying to rewrite truth in every area of life. “I don’t care,” he said. “Somebody has to stand up and speak out, and I just believe that’s what God wants me to do.” 

McGraw’s book lays out principles needed for a society to survive. For example, he says it is important for people to identify what their purpose is. “Be prayerful,” he said, and really ponder what your purpose might be. His own purpose is “to talk about things that matter to people who care.”

How Christian Country Artist JD Walker Embraces His Nickname ‘Outlaw for Jesus’

JD Walker
Photo courtesy of JD Walker

Independent Christian country artist J.D. Walker had many reasons to stop pursuing his dream of becoming a country musician, but God had other plans.

Walker told ChurchLeaders that after the death of his best friend, the loss of his wife to cancer, his brother dying by suicide, and the death of his father, he almost gave up on God.

“I was hurt and angry and questioned God why he would allow all these things to happen to me,” said Walker. “But God was faithful when I wasn’t and had other plans for my life.”

In 2016, Walker released his secular EP, titled “Too Far From Heaven.” Walker didn’t know it yet, but God’s plan was for him to start singing for Jesus.

“I always felt like the Lord pulling, calling me to do Christian music,” he said, adding that he even heard God telling him, “I didn’t bring you this far for you to be doing country music.” Walker resisted this calling.

But one night at Global Vision Bible Church, where Walker attends, Pastor Taisha Locke told the congregation that she felt there was somebody presented who needed to tell their story. “Someone who has been to hell and back, but they aren’t doing it,” Walker recalled her saying.

RELATED: Man Sets Trailer of Bibles on Fire in Front of Greg Locke’s Church on Easter Sunday

“I know the Lord is talking to you,” Locke preached. “And I’m here to tell you, this is what you need to be doing.”

Nudged by the Holy Spirit, Walker said, “I went forward to be prayed for but ended up helping with those that went forward instead of getting prayed for myself.”

Walker said Locke gave the call again the following week. This time, she told the congregation, “You know, I said this last week, and I felt like you were really close, but you didn’t come up.”

Walker again went forward and started helping. That’s when he heard God tell him, “Move! That’s not why you came forward.”

“I stepped out of the way and Pastor Locke goes, ‘Where are you? Where are you?’” Walker said. He said that the pastor started looking around until she found him. She then pointed directly at him and said, “Come here…You know what you’re supposed to be doing right?”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied.

“You’re almost ready,” Locke said before laying hands on him and praying.

Idaho Pastor Who Went Missing This Week Died From Apparent Suicide

idaho pastor
Screenshot from YouTube / @rlmsv

Idaho congregants are grieving the loss of their pastor, who apparently took his own life this week. Gene Jacobs, pastor of Real Life Ministries Silver Valley in Pinehurst, Idaho, went missing early on April 22, and search teams located his body that evening. According to police, the 59-year-old Idaho pastor died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, and foul play isn’t suspected.

In a Facebook post, the church acknowledged the “huge loss” without mentioning a cause of death. It pledged to do its best by “ministering to the needs of our congregation and the community.”

Idaho Pastor Didn’t Show Up to a Morning Meeting

According to police, Jacobs didn’t arrive at the church Tuesday for a 6 a.m. meeting, and elders were unable to reach him. Jacobs’ wife said he had left home about 5:30 a.m. on foot, as usual. By 8 a.m., elders had contacted police, who requested assistance from the local sheriff’s department.

RELATED: Church Groundskeeper Beaten and Robbed in Broad Daylight

Tracking data from Jacobs’ cell phone was unavailable, indicating he may have shut it off. Police said after they were informed about “potential threats” against the pastor, they briefly investigated “the possibility of an abduction.” But soon they found his water bottle along a trail he often hiked. Search teams included a tracking dog, drones, foot and air patrols, and a helicopter.

Rescuers found Jacobs’ body in a “remote, steep, and wooded location,” police said. “Initial indication is that Pastor Gene Jacobs died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Based on the investigation and evidence so far, there is no reason to suspect foul play, but to ensure a complete investigation, an autopsy is scheduled.”

Church: ‘God Promises To Be Near in Time of Loss’

Jacobs, a graduate of Boise Bible College, was a husband and father of two adult children. His church requested that people show “grace in giving [his family] time and space to heal.”

Darleen Kelley, Jacobs’ mother, posted a note of thanks to the church, law enforcement, and volunteers who helped with the search. “The Sheriff’s Department said that he did commit suicide so we don’t know what demons he had or what was…bothering him. We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors,” she wrote. “But I’m sad to say my son did commit suicide. I’ll miss him he’ll be in my heart forever thank you all for your prayers.”

Jacobs’ church opened its sanctuary Thursday evening for “prayer and support.” On social media, it has been sharing Bible verses and words of comfort.

Church Groundskeeper Beaten and Robbed in Broad Daylight

Truevine Missionary Baptist Church
Screengrab via Fox 10

A church groundskeeper was left beaten and baffled after being robbed in broad daylight outside of Truevine Missionary Baptist Church in Mobile, Alabama, on Thursday afternoon. 

While the identity of the victim has not been publicly disclosed, Pastor Sandy McQueen recounted the ordeal to Fox 10.

“I got a call from maintenance grounds personnel here stating that he had just been robbed and to come and I immediately came this way,” McQueen said. “He was beat up pretty bad. They were punching him like they were punching a punching bag…sad.” 

Truevine Missionary Baptist Church was founded in 1883, and McQueen was recently described by a local networking organization as “a pillar of support for his community.”

RELATED: NC Pastor, Paralyzed From Previous Attempted Carjacking, Has Car Stolen From Church in Broad Daylight

The victim said that two men approached him outside the church at roughly 4 p.m. The victim then said that he was punched in the face and wrestled to the ground.

The assailants took a $100 bill from the victim’s wallet before throwing the wallet back at him and fleeing. 

Although he was bloodied, the victim said that he is alright. 

McQueen said the victim has been working for the church for several months and that nothing like this has ever happened before. He characterized the victim as a man who was just trying to make “an honest day’s living” and indicated that the man is a senior citizen. 

“It just breaks my heart to see our young people who are just out of control,” he said. “Life is important and I would rather see someone else do these yards or have a security person in place.”

RELATED: ‘God Is Faithful!’—Pastor Confirms His Teenage Son Was Found Safe

Police do not yet have any suspects in the case, but investigators are reviewing church security footage for leads. McQueen said that in light of the incident, he is considering how to increase the church’s security measures. 

Church Leaders in Kenya Give Qualified Support for Plan to Close Orphanages

Kenya
Children play at the Nyumbani Children’s Home in Nairobi, Kenya, Aug. 15, 2023. Kenya is seeking to replace orphanages with family-based care. (AP Photo/Brian Inganga)

NAIROBI, Kenya (RNS) — Amid a growing push among child welfare organizations to reunite families rather than keep children in institutional homes, Kenyan authorities are set to adopt a new national program that will phase out traditional orphanages over the next decade.

Church leaders in the country, whose denominations run hundreds of orphanages, have expressed support for the plan, saying children’s homes have exposed children to abuse. Other faith leaders back private institutional operators in opposing the change.

Roman Catholic Bishop Willybard Kitogho Lagho of Malindi said the Catholic Church supports the government plan because many of the institutions are no longer safe for children.

RELATED: Kenya Court Sentences Priest Convicted of Abuse To Preach on Sexual Crimes

“There have been a lot of abuses in these homes,” said the bishop. “Children have been sexually, physical and emotionally abused. There have also been cases of child trafficking.” Some orphanages, he alleged, were founded by “unscrupulous people who want to gain from donor funding.”

The treatment of orphans in Africa has come under fire in recent years as recent studies have shown that as many as half of children in six low-income countries on the continent have been abused. While some better-funded homes provide education that children could not get in their home villages, many children in residential care show signs of developmental delays and neglect.

Experts also say that donations from developed countries have also skewed the priorities of some children’s welfare agencies. Anglican Bishop Alphonse Baya Mwaro of Mombasa likened some Kenyan children’s homes to businesses. “They do not genuinely support children who are orphaned or who find themselves without family support,” he said.

Faith organizations with long histories in Africa now question whether even the best care is more beneficial than finding relatives who will take in children who have lost parents or have become homeless or destitute. Several have closed their residential homes and instead support family reunification.

Photo by Seth Doyle/Unsplash/Creative Commons

(Photo by Seth Doyle/Unsplash/Creative Commons)

In Africa, uncles, aunts and other relatives have traditionally stepped up to care for young family members, said Lagho. “This is the most natural environment for children to grow up,” he said.

The system has in some cases promoted the separation of children. “When you look at the children in the institutions, most of them have families,” said Selastine Nthiani, a manager at the Child Welfare Society of Kenya. They are often sent away from home “for education or because their families are poor. Very few of them are total orphans or children without any parents,” she said.

Nthiani said the government’s changing approach to children’s care was part of an international trend. “The world is moving away from institutional care of children to family- and community-based care,” she said.

Janet Mwema, a senior officer at Kenya’s National Council for Children’s Services, said the government will not shutter institutions, but transition responsibility for destitute children to family and local communities over time.

According to Mwema, some residential homes will continue to operate as educational centers. “A child might be residing in ​a home because of education. We want to strengthen the families and community such that the child can get the education while living with the biological parents or community,” said Mwema.

United Methodists Vote To Restructure Worldwide Church Into 4 Parts

united methodist
Bishop Tracy Smith Malone speaks during a news conference after delegates to the 2024 United Methodist General Conference in Charlotte, N.C., voted in favor of a Worldwide Regionalization plan. The body voted for an amendment to the denomination’s constitution that will now go before annual conference voters for potential ratification. (Photo by Mike DuBose, UM News)

(RNS) — The top legislative body of the United Methodist Church passed a series of measures Thursday (April 25) to restructure the worldwide denomination to give each region greater equity in tailoring church life to its own customs and traditions.

The primary measure, voted on as the UMC General Conference met at the Charlotte Convention Center in North Carolina, was an amendment to the church’s constitution to divide the denomination into four equal regions — Africa, Europe, the Philippines and the United States.

According to the plan, each region would be able to customize part of the denomination’s rulebook, the Book of Discipline, to fit local needs. While church regions in Africa, the Philippines and Europe have already enjoyed some leeway in customizing church life, the United States has not.

The vote on the constitutional amendment passed 586-164, or by 78%, which means it surpassed the two-thirds majority needed for constitutional amendments. It must now go before each smaller church region, called an annual conference, for ratification by the end of 2025.

If ratified by two-thirds of delegates to the annual conferences, the restructuring would allow the four regions to set their own qualifications for ordaining clergy and lay leaders; publish their own hymnal and rituals, including rites for marriage; and establish its own judicial courts. A new Book of Discipline would have one section that could be revised and tailored for each of the four regional conferences.

The two-week worldwide meeting is the first meeting of the General Conference in five years, due mostly to delays associated with the COVID-19 pandemic. It follows a painful schism that has split some 7,600 U.S.-based churches from the denomination — a loss accounting for 25% of all U.S. congregations.

Regionalization was the first order of business and it came unexpectedly early in the meeting. The General Conference typically does not take up major proposals until its second week.

This is not the first time Methodists have tried to regionalize their operations. The last attempt, in 2008, passed in the General Conference but failed to receive two-thirds ratification among individual conferences around the world.

The Rev. Dee Stickley-Miner, executive director of missional engagement for the General Board of Global Ministries who has worked on the plans alongside non-U.S.-based church leaders, said this time around, the measures are more clearly stated and have been shaped and vetted by Methodists in the various regions.

Regionalization has been framed as an undertaking of decolonization. Born of an 18th-century movement begun in England by John and Charles Wesley, the Methodist movement through its various schisms and realignments has always been centered in the United States. This new regionalization, if it is approved, will decentralize the church.

Should Ethnicity and Race Never Cross Our Minds When We Meet Another Believer?

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I’ve heard it said, “Ethnicity and background should never even cross our minds when we meet another believer. Unfortunately, we’re being told that the first thing we need to notice about someone in a local church is their skin color.”

I disagree. First of all, it obviously does and will cross our mind, and it’s silly to think we can or should close our eyes to differences.

Paul says, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). What he’s saying is that we are all equal and should be in unity with each other. He doesn’t mean racial identity and gender and slavery do not exist. The same Paul speaks openly of Jewish and Gentile believers (Romans 2:109:3-4) and male and female believers (Ephesians 5:22, 25).

The notion of being “colorblind” doesn’t lend itself to oneness but to blindness. It suggests that if we recognize or admit differences, we would be forced to say some are better than others. No, we should recognize the differences and celebrate that God’s image-bearers come in all shapes and sizes and colors, and we are the beneficiaries of His providence in creating us this way. (See Trillia Newbell’s excellent article 4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Colorblind.)

Saying someone’s skin color shouldn’t even cross our minds is like saying I shouldn’t notice whether I’m talking to a man or a woman, or that it’s somehow wrong to notice a man is 6’8” or 4’8”. What is wrong is when I judge or stereotype or think less of him, or more of him, because of a physical attribute. I can certainly thank God for creating diversity.

What about noticing someone is disabled, and looking for a way to assist them if needed? What about noticing someone is young or old, and they too may need my help? If I see someone of a different skin color at a store, staring at American money the same way I stared at Chinese money when I was in China, I should offer help. But I won’t if I fail to notice them.

To say that we are all image-bearers is NOT to deny we have differences. It is to say we who are different are all human, and we who are believers are, as Paul puts it, one in Christ. Not ceasing to be male or female, or ceasing to be whatever race we were created as, but fully united regardless of our differences.

The glory of God is greater because people of different tribes, nations, and languages of different times and places will be forever united in Jesus.

This article originally appeared here and is used by permission. 

6 Reasons Why Physical Fitness Is Important for Pastors

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

2020 has been the hardest year on pastors that I have seen in my lifetime. Not just spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, but many are struggling physically as well.

Chances are, they have been for a long time.

That’s because many pastors are lacking when it comes to their physical fitness. That lack is probably more important than you think!

Let me share with you just six important reasons why physical fitness is important for pastors:

To be “fit” for ministry. Most pastors will tell you the majority of their time is devoured by ministry. Long days, busy evenings, and middle-of-the-night calls can leave pastors sleep deprived and exhausted. And even though a lot of a pastor’s time might be sedentary – studying hours at a desk, or sitting in endless meetings and counseling sessions – current medical studies are now calling a lack of movement and a sedentary life the “new cancer.” It takes physical fitness and generally good health to have the energy needed and to handle the demands of ministry for the “long haul.”

For your mental health. You cannot properly care for your mental health without adequately caring for your physical health and fitness. Current research and advances in nutritional psychiatry reveal what we eat can have a dramatic affect on our mental health, and can even be a root cause to some mental illness. Multiple studies have revealed that physical exercise (both cardio and strength conditioning) can be as effective or better at treating stress, anxiety, and depression than taking medication. Three of the best things any pastor can do to handle the stress of ministry, and any anxiety or depression they may personally experience, is to consistently eat nutritious meals (with portion control), exercise regularly, and get adequate sleep (both quality and quantity).

To be a good steward. Leading a congregation means teaching people to be good stewards. Of all the things we’ll ever receive from God, our physical bodies are one of the greatest of His gifts. All of us, including pastors, need to be good stewards of the physical bodies God has blessed us with. A lifestyle that neglects your physical fitness, which contributes to eventual health issues, is not good stewardship of your physical body.

For your family. One of the greatest concerns pastors have is to not allow ministry to get in the way of properly loving and caring for their families. But when you physically deplete yourself on ministry – which is more quickly done when you’re lacking physical fitness and vitality – you have less to bring home and expend on your marriages and families. To have the vitality for both ministry AND marriage AND family demands you care about and maintain your physical fitness and health.

As an example and encouragement. Let me give use a very blunt example – many pastors today aren’t just overweight, they are obese. Not because of some health issue, but because they have poor diets and rarely (if ever) exercise. So when these men step to a pulpit, it’s far more difficult for them to speak about stewardship, or self-control, or self-discipline. Their example of how they care for their physical selves can sometimes speak louder than their words. But a pastor who maintains good physical fitness can be a living example and encouragement to his family, his congregation, and his community.

Expanded relational opportunities. Sometimes it can be wonderful to have personal time alone while getting in a good workout. But getting exercise can also be a great way to spend more time with family (being active and enjoying recreation together), more personal time with church members (going running with members, working out with members, being involved in recreational activities with members) and as a means of getting to know people outside your congregation (meeting people at a gym, being in an exercise class with people from the community, etc.). While you work on getting fit or staying fit, you can also be investing in, expanding, and enjoying relationships in a more personal manner.

How seriously are you taking your physical fitness and health? Are you currently fit? Do you need to get fit? Let me encourage those of you who need to get fit or work on staying fit to check out my book, “Maybe I Need to Get Fit …” It’s a small book with just enough information and inspiration to help you get serious about getting fit and staying that way. You can find the book by clicking here.

Source: HealthArty

28 Questions Every Pastor Should Ask a Search Committee

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When a pastor (or any leader) considers a move to a new church setting or any leader considers a new job, he or she should do whatever is possible to define reality.  As Max Dupree, leadership guru and writer said, “The first job of a leader is to define reality.” When I’ve considered a new ministry change, I’ve sought answers to key questions every pastor should ask. And over the years I’ve compiled this list of 28 questions (actually 31) to ask a search committee and/or your future boss. If you’re moving into a non-ministry setting, you’ll want to tailor your questions to your unique setting.

28 Questions Every Pastor Should Ask a Search Committee

  1. Why me? What about me interested your committee?
  2. What stories of God’s moving do people still tell?
  3. What’s not going well that needs changing or needs to go?
  4. What are the burning issues?
  5. What are the biggest obstacles facing the church?
  6. What’s missing?
  7. What significant events, both successes and traumas, have marked your church’s history?
  8. How has your church responded to traumas and crises?
  9. How would your community describe the church?
  10. What do you most hope that I will do?

To see the rest of the questions every pastor should ask, see page two.

Would Your Team Say You’re an Authentic Leader?

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Are you struggling with being a genuine, authentic leader? Discover why authenticity matters and how you can embrace it in your leadership journey. Did you hear the news? Merriam-Webster’s 2023 Word of the Year is “Authentic.” (Oxford announced their word for 2023, too: “Rizz.” Rizz refers to a person’s charisma or charm in attracting others. Rizz is new to me. I’ve never heard this word, much less used this word. It may be my lack of charisma. Or my age.) But in church I’ve heard the phrase authentic leader more times than I can count. Everyone talks about beiong an authentic leader.

Be An Authentic Leader

I spent a decade in the marketplace before transitioning into ministry leadership. My early marketplace days were like most of your marketplace days. Full of work for profit and shareholder value. Ministry is different. Nobody ever asked me to be more “authentic” In my marketplace roles. But in the church? I heard it a lot. And I mean, a LOT. “Can you be a little more authentic?” “When you preach, I’m not sensing too much authenticity.” “Can you say that more authentically?”

“What does that even mean?” I would retort. “I’m feeling frustrated with all your ‘be more authentic’ talk, so should I express my ‘authentic’ frustrations publicly?” I wondered.

What Is Authenticity, Anyway?

It seems weird that a word that’s been around so long is now reaching “Word of the Year” status. Perhaps because the vast majority of people using this word can’t really define this word. They want it, but they don’t know how to describe it. They want their leader or pastor to be more “authentic,” but what does that mean?

By definition, authentic means to be genuine or real. No wonder people crave authenticity. Our world is built on a lack of genuine and real. Today’s movies feel more like a CGI computer creation than a reality of life. Social media is nothing but filters and selfie retakes. Botox, fillers, and plastic have become the norm, not an exception.

Nothing feels real because, in many cases, nothing is real.

Hence, we all desire “authenticity.” We say we desire something real. Something genuine. We say we don’t want fake or filtered. Yet our ongoing overuse of fake is why authentic are in such limited supply.

How to Be An Authentic Leader

What does all this mean for us as leaders? If our staff and organizations desire more authenticity, how can we offer that in a genuine and helpful way?

7 Days of Praying the Psalms – Start Here

praying the psalms
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Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi, Lex Vivendi—the way we pray, shapes the way we believe, shapes the way we live and love and become whole. Jesus, followers of Jesus, and before that, God’s covenant people, have been praying the Psalms — cumulatively, for thousands of years. The Psalms get at the heart of prayer, and are a true school of prayer to those who will enter and make these prayers their own.

The following provides a 7 day experience of praying with 7 psalms, 1 per day, for an entire week. I would encourage you to listen to the first on a Sunday, and to conclude on the following Saturday.

Praying the Psalms

DAY 1 | PSALM 8

> Listen to the audio here.

[Prayers drawn from Psalm 8 (NIV) and Sheltering Mercy: Prayers Inspired by the Psalms, p. 29]

 

DAY 2 | PSALM 24

> Listen to the audio here.

[Prayers drawn from Psalm 24 (NIV) and Sheltering Mercy, Prayers Inspired by the Psalms, p. 71]

 

DAY 3 | PSALM 42

> Listen to the audio here.

[Prayers drawn from Psalm 42 (NIV) and Sheltering Mercy, Prayers Inspired by the Psalms, p. 131]

Divorce and Families: How to Care for Children and Their Parents

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Divorce affects about half of the families in your church and children’s ministry. Unsure how to support kids and their parents as they navigate divorce? Want to offer hope and healing? Then read on for helpful insights and practical examples. 

Your job title may be Children’s Pastor, but children come with parents and caregivers! A children’s pastor interacts with family members just as much—if not more—than he or she teaches Bible lessons to kids. You’re a Parents’ Pastor, too.

As you wear your Parents’ Pastor hat, you may feel in over your head sometimes. You accepted this important role at church because you’re good with kids. Yet now you’re also braving the waters of ministry to grownups. Yikes!

How Divorce Impacts Ministry to Children and Families

As a young children’s ministry director, I recall feeling especially out-of-my-league when it came to ministering to children and families experiencing divorce. Divorce impacted my leadership and our church’s ministry to kids and families in three significant ways:

1. Attendance

Kids may be with Mom one weekend and Dad the next. Back then, our church still relied on rewards and attendance charts to motivate kids. (I’ve rethought things since then.) I recall talking with fretful kids and their defeated single parent about frustrations from not “winning” because of their sporadic schedule. I wish I’d done things differently.

2. Safety

Some families navigate stressful custody situations. As their children’s pastor, I needed to be diligent in our church’s pick-up policies to ensure all family members were on the same page regarding who’d collect kids from church. Not wanting that stress to affect the kids, I had to proactively communicate with families to know how to serve them best.

3. Support

Divorce is tough. Period. As a children’s pastor, I needed to learn how to listen and respond to parents’ hurting hearts, brave choices, and concerns for their children. Admittedly, I just didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t know how to encourage and support parents as they guided children through divorce.

Perhaps you’ve felt a little ill-equipped, too. Thankfully, children’s pastors aren’t alone and don’t have to know it all. God has uniquely equipped wonderful experts, including mental health professionals, with tools and wisdom to help families navigate two-household dynamics.

I asked Mandy Milner, a licensed professional counselor and contributor to Group’s Team Family (an intentional approach to family ministry), to share advice on talking with children about divorce. Her practical insights will help you talk with children at church. Consider sharing these tips with parents as you pastor them, too.

How to Talk With Children About Divorce

For Milner, how we talk about hard things with kids is as important—if not more important—than what we say. She suggests:

For all kids, regardless of age, be clear, empathetic, and reassuring. Sometimes we try to skirt around the truth. But it’s best to be direct, whether talking about your own divorce or someone else’s. In these kinds of conversations, kids are not only learning about the topic at hand (in this case divorce), but also how we talk—or don’t talk—about hard things.

We want to be a person kids know they can come to with questions and to process life’s hard stuff. And we set the tone for that in how we respond when they ask questions about awkward topics. So pause to breathe, pray, and manage your own discomfort as it comes up. Then do your best to respond.

Milner recommends that parents, caregivers, and children’s pastors remember these three communication strategies when talking with kids about divorce.

Communication Strategies for Children’s Ministers

1. Be clear.

When kids have questions, answer them honestly, and don’t answer more than they ask. (This applies to kids whose parents are going through divorce and kids who want to talk about friends or relatives who are going through divorce.) You don’t need to give all the backstory or your interpretation of what happened. Start with just the simplest truth.

For example: When a child asks, “What’s divorce?” You might say, “A divorce is when two people who are married decide not to be married anymore.” Then wait to see if they have follow-up questions. Just go one step at a time.

Thriving in Transition: A Guide for Pastors

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Transition periods between ministry opportunities offer pastors a unique and valuable season for introspection, growth, and enrichment—not just professionally but also personally and relationally. This season of transition, often viewed with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty, provides a strategic pause for pastors to invest in themselves and their families in ways that the relentless pace of ministry often precludes.

Healing From Past Hurts

Ministry, while fulfilling, can also leave scars. Past conflicts, unresolved issues, or simply the wear and tear of pastoral duties can accumulate, impacting one’s emotional and spiritual well-being. Professional counseling offers a safe space to process these experiences, providing healing and closure. By addressing past hurts, pastors can move into their next ministry assignment lighter, free from the burdens that may have unknowingly hindered their effectiveness.

Identifying Blindspots and Shadows

Self-awareness is crucial for effective ministry, yet blindspots—areas in our lives we fail to see or understand—can subtly undermine our work and relationships. Counseling can illuminate these hidden areas, offering insights into patterns of behavior, thought processes, and emotional responses that may be incongruent with one’s intentions. Identifying and understanding these aspects of oneself can lead to significant personal growth and a more authentic ministry.

Supercharging Strengths

In addition to addressing areas of growth, counseling can help pastors identify and amplify their strengths. Understanding and leveraging one’s gifts can lead to more effective ministry, increased satisfaction, and a greater impact on the communities served. This process of affirming and building on strengths prepares pastors for their next role with a renewed sense of purpose and confidence.

Strengthening Marriage and Family Life

The demands of ministry can strain even the strongest marriages and family relationships. Counseling offers couples and families a forum to address challenges, improve communication, and deepen connections. For pastors heading into new ministry roles, ensuring their home life is stable and supportive is essential. Enriching these foundational relationships not only provides personal fulfillment but also models healthy family dynamics for the congregation.

Preventing Burnout

Burnout is a pervasive risk in pastoral ministry, characterized by emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and diminished personal accomplishment. Engaging in counseling during transition periods can provide pastors with strategies to manage stress, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate practices that sustain their energy and passion for ministry. Preventing burnout is crucial for long-term ministry effectiveness and personal well-being.

Navigating Children’s Challenges

Transitions can be particularly challenging for pastors’ children, who may face their own set of stresses and uncertainties. Counseling can support pastors’ families in navigating these challenges, ensuring that children feel supported, heard, and valued throughout the transition process. Addressing these issues proactively can foster resilience and adaptability in pastors’ children, contributing to a smoother transition for the entire family.

Empowering Effective Ministry

Investing in personal and relational growth through professional counseling equips pastors to enter their next ministry opportunity with greater self-awareness, relational skills, and resilience. This preparation not only enhances personal well-being but also sets the stage for more effective, compassionate, and authentic ministry. By prioritizing this season of growth, pastors can look forward to their next chapter with anticipation and readiness for the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.

Dangers of the Prosperity Gospel, Ministry in Germany, and a Message to American Christians With Pastor Dave Schnitter

In this episode of “Transforming the Church” podcast, Dr. Derwin L. Gray and his friend Dave Schnitter, the lead pastor of Mosaik Berlin, delve into the dangers of the prosperity gospel, talk about ministry in Germany, and offer a message to American Christians.

Sarah Baldwin: When God’s Spirit Surprises Us

sarah baldwin
Image courtesy of PastorServe

When the Spirit of God moves, how can we best steward that experience without getting in the way? In this week’s conversation on FrontStage BackStage, host Jason Daye is joined by the Rev. Dr. Sarah Baldwin, vice president of student life at Asbury University. Sarah has served for nearly 30 years in Christian higher education in a variety of roles, including university pastor and vice president. She’s an ordained elder in the Free Methodist Church. Her most recent book is titled “Generation Awakened.” Together, Sarah and Jason explore some of the questions and challenges we might face as ministry leaders when God moves in a dramatic fashion. Sarah also shares her firsthand experiences behind the scenes of the revival that broke out at Asbury in February 2023 and the lessons that God taught her through that experience.

FrontStage BackStage Podcast With Sarah Baldwin

View the entire podcast here.

Keep Learning

Looking to dig more deeply into this topic and conversation? Every week we go the extra mile and create a free toolkit so you and your ministry team can dive deeper into the topic that is discussed. Find your Weekly Toolkit here… Love well, Live well, Lead well!

Podcast Links

What’s the Value of a College Education?

college education
Image courtesy of Bethel Seminary

Next to buying a house, a college education is the biggest investment most Americans will make. While the actual cost of college is lower now than it was 10 years ago, most families still face the prospect of spending or borrowing a lot of money to pay for college, especially if they are considering Christian colleges or other private options. 

Is that kind of education worth the tens of thousands of dollars it may cost families? Should students be willing to go into debt to make that investment? Does our faith as followers of Jesus have any bearing on how we answer such daunting questions?

First, recognize that cost and value are related—but distinct. A college can be relatively inexpensive…and not give you what you really need or want. On the other hand, a college may charge high tuition…but provide immense return on that investment. 

So How Do You Measure That Value? 

Higher education has significant financial benefits, and we’ll get to them below. But for Christians, let me suggest that the value of college is best understood in terms of our callings, general and specific:

GENERAL: First, college prepares students to do what’s required of all those who follow Jesus: to love their God and their neighbors (Luke 10:27). Year by year, day by day, I see Christian students learning to love God with their hearts, souls, and strength, but also with their minds. I’m a historian who regularly asks his students to relate their studies of the past to their faith in Jesus Christ, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8). But here I often think first of the sciences, which teach us to wonder at and delight in an awesome God who created on scales cosmic and microscopic—and yet it also mindful of mere mortals like us (Ps. 8:4).

Meanwhile, college teaches students to know better their neighbors near and far—others’ beliefs and values, hopes and fears, joys and concerns. Above all, we learn about the material and spiritual needs of our fellow humans, needs that God is meeting through us.

SPECIFIC: So second, a value of college is that it helps young Christians to discover who and whose they are, discerning the specific purposes for which God has called them and refining the unique gifts he has given them. Offering opportunities to explore multiple fields and activities and to encounter diverse people and cultures, colleges can make it easier for Christians to hear God calling them in directions they’d never before imagined. While this includes career preparation, it extends far beyond to faithful service, thoughtful citizenship, lifelong learning, and meaningful relationships.

That means we should approach decisions about college in light of our responsibility to be good stewards within each of those callings. A key goal is to use our resources, our time, and our abilities faithfully and prudently. It’s all so students can become who they’re meant to be—and be prepared to serve their families, churches, communities, the world, and God.

As the servants of a generous God, we know that our wealth is not our own, but a resource that’s been entrusted to our care, to use for the purposes of God’s kingdom. That means that families need to make well-considered choices about how to save and spend their money, knowing that they have to balance the need to pay for college against the need to make other kinds of payments—and to support their local church and other worthy causes. It means that students themselves face important decisions: how much to work during college, given that “college student” itself is a full-time job; and how much to borrow.

As you weigh whether a Christian college is worth it for you, it’s good to explore:

  • Loans and debt. On average, undergraduates take out $20,000-$25,000 in relatively low-interest loans to pay for college. As I’ll explain below, that’s generally a good investment. But students and their parents do need to be careful here. Look up any prospective school on the College Scorecard tool provided by the U.S. Department of Education. You can see the average total debt and monthly repayment for its alumni, plus the rate at which recent graduates default on loans.

‘Understanding Precedes Refutation’—Preston Sprinkle’s Exiles in Babylon Conference Is Curious

Preston Sprinkle Exiles in Babylon
Screengrab via Exiles in Babylon

“I apologize ahead of time for any discomfort you’re gonna experience over the next couple of days,” Dr. Preston Sprinkle said during the opening session of the Exiles in Babylon conference. Jokingly, he added, “Unfortunately, there are no refunds.”

The conference, which is an outgrowth of Sprinkle’s “Theology in the Raw” podcast, “aims to help believers think Christianly about theological and cultural issues by engaging in curious conversations with a diverse range of thoughtful people.”

“Engaging in—so not just passively absorbing,” Sprinkle clarified. “You need to think critically through the things you are going to hear.”

“We need to have curious conversations,” he continued. “We need to be genuinely interested in what somebody else is actually saying before we can even decide whether it’s true or not, because understanding precedes refutation.”

The three-day conference explored a variety of hot button issues, including faith deconstruction; women, power, and abuse; the LGBTQ+ community; and different Christian approaches to politics. 

In a pre-conference symposium, presenters offered varying perspectives on the theology and politics of Israel and Palestine and the unfolding conflict between Israel and Hamas. 

Each session began with worship, which more than once featured songs sung in languages other than English. Speakers were then given 15 minutes to offer presentations before engaging together in lengthy discussions moderated by Sprinkle and guided by questions from attendees. 

While many of the speakers shared common convictions, they also diverged on key points. 

The range of views invited into the conversation created an environment that is unique among Christian conferences—so much so that Sprinkle isn’t quite sure that the term “conference” fully captures what Exiles in Babylon is seeking to do.

This diversity of thought also makes some people nervous.

This is the third year Sprinkle has held Exiles in Babylon in Boise, Idaho. And he told ChurchLeaders that while he has experienced pushback in previous years of the conference, with some speakers even backing out, this year was the first time the conference drew significant criticism from theological conservatives. 

“In the past, I’ve had more—I wouldn’t say progressive—but less conservative speakers drop out, because I was platforming other speakers that they didn’t think I should,” Sprinkle said. 

Sprinkle nevertheless added that most of the pushback this year came not so much from personal interactions with conference invitees but on social media. “If you’re not on Twitter, you typically don’t know about it,” he said.

Kirk Franklin’s Performance at Faith Festival in Jamaica Disappoints Christian CEO, Concertgoers

kirk franklin
Screenshots from Instagram / @kirkfranklin

Before performing at a “family-friendly festival” sponsored by a Christian company in Jamaica, Gospel artist Kirk Franklin said he had “a lot to express.” But his mode of onstage expression led to criticism from attendees—and even a callout from the company’s CEO.

On April 20, Franklin performed at Fun in the Son, an annual Christian concert held at National Stadium in Kingston. In video posted to social media, the 54-year-old gyrates to “Hosanna Forever We Worship You” while wearing a tank top and tight shorts.

Some attendees walked out of Franklin’s performance, which has received unfavorable feedback online this week.

 

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A post shared by Kirk Franklin (@kirkfranklin)

Sponsor of Gospel Festival ‘Expected More’ of Kirk Franklin

Fun in the Son is sponsored by Best Dressed Chicken, a Jamaica Broilers Group (JBG) brand. TobyMac and other Christian artists also performed at this year’s festival, which was billed as a celebration of 65 years of “God’s faithfulness.”

Afterward, JBG president and CEO Christopher Levy said the company “expected more” from Franklin. “When we engage an artist, it is with a degree of trust that the artist will be aware and sensitive to their audience,” said Levy. “We are cognizant that each of us are working through our relationship with the Lord, and we prayerfully support [Franklin’s] growth.”

The day before the festival, Franklin noted it had been 10 years since he last performed at Fun in the Son. At an April 19 press conference, the award-winning choir director said he was “humbled” and “honored” to be invited back and wanted to “show the level of gratitude that I have by how I present…on stage.”

Franklin added that he had “a lot of life experiences and emotion and energy and passion that I’m going to bring to the stage that’s been bottled up for the last decade.”

But the way Franklin released all that passion led to negative reviews. “He was dancing like I was in an Usher, Michael Jackson, and Chris Brown concert,” someone wrote online. Another person commented, “He acting like he at Diddy house,” referring to the ongoing sex-trafficking investigation of musician Sean “Diddy” Combs.

RELATED: ‘I’ve Been to a Couple Diddy Parties’—Lecrae Shares What He’s Witnessed at Celebrity Gatherings

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