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40 Positive Reasons to Avoid Porn

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Over my 24 years of pastoral ministry, I’ve had the occasion to work with multiplied hundreds of men who struggle on a regular basis with the snare of pornography.

I often say that the hardest thing about the Christian life is that it is so daily.   I have learned that the hardest thing about the battle with lust and pornography is that it is so hourly.  Yet,  the battle can be won – one life, one day. one hour, one decision, and one thought at a time.

Titus 2:11-12 challenges us to recognize that that grace of God instructs us to “deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age.”  One of the ways we experience this grace is by recognizing the positive power of pure choices.

In my book, Think Before You Look – Avoiding the Consequences of Secret Temptation I present forty chapters, each presenting positive reasons to avoid the snare of pornography.  Here they are in summary as a positive does of pure prevention.

40 Positive Reasons to Avoid Pornography

1. I fully enjoy the pleasure of my love relationship with Christ.

2. I fulfill my true identity as a child of God.

3. I experience God’s provision of empowering grace.

4. I enjoy my freedom in Christ to its fullest.

5. I avoid a life-pattern of deception.

6. I cultivate a soft and sensitive conscience.

7. I turn away from the solicitation of harlots in my heart.

8. I refuse the temptation of idolatry.

9. I prove to be a faithful steward of my money.

10. I prove to be a faithful steward of my time.

11. I abstain from any promotion and support of the pornography industry.

12. I preserve God’s gift of loving sexual expression for its intended purpose.

13. I protect the purity and power of my God-given imagination.

14. I develop a disciplined character.

15. I guard the integrity of my Christian testimony.

16. I promote health and harmony in the body of Christ.

17. I cultivate a stronger resistance to future interpersonal sexual sin.

18. I nurture the proper biblical view of the sanctity of womanhood.

19. I relate to women as equals and persons of ultimate worth.

20. I learn to live in reality rather than fantasy.

21. I steer clear of unnecessary personal guilt and shame.

22. I cultivate a lifestyle of contentment and satisfaction.

23. I experience the blessing of living as a servant

24. I learn the relational skills of authentic intimacy.

25. I avoid future mental, emotional and spiritual scars on my life.

26. I experience the joy of the Christian life.

27. I lay up eternal rewards.

28. I learn to deal with the causes of my problems rather than treating symptoms.

29. I prevent potential temptations for others in my sphere of influence.

30. I honor the trust and prayer support of those who have invested in my spiritual life.


If I am married: 

31. I avoid adultery in my heart.

32. I encourage my wife’s trust.

33. I honor my vow of marital purity and faithfulness.

34. I keep my marriage union pure from fantasies of other women.

35. I communicate acceptance and honor toward my wife.

36. I avoid the pathway that could easily result in infidelity.


If I have children:

37. I minimize the risk of my children being exposed to pornography.

38. I model strong and genuine moral values for my children.

39. I avoid embarrassing and embittering my children.

40. I encourage all of the above positive qualities in their lives.

(The 40 reasons are presented in complete form in Daniel Henderson’s book, Think Before You Look – Avoiding the Consequences of Secret Temptation.)

Andy Stanley: This Is What James Meant by ‘consider it pure joy’

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“There are statements in the Bible I don’t particularly like,” Pastor Andy Stanley admits in his most recent sermon. The pastor of North Point Church in Atlanta, Georgia, who famously said that Jesus’ new covenant succeeds and therefore should replace the 10 Commandments, addressed how Christians ought to persevere in times of trial in his latest message.

Consider It Pure Joy

“What do we do when there’s nothing we can do?” Stanley addresses this question in a sermon titled “How To Persevere In Tough Times.” The preacher then unpacks a passage of James chapter 1 in which the apostle and brother of Jesus instructs those facing trials to “consider it pure joy.” 

Stanley says James’ answer to trials strikes him as “too passive” and “insensitive.” Despite not liking what James is saying here, though, Stanley says “we would be fools not to take his advice.” In fact, James’ advice is particularly relevant in light of the current global pandemic and consequent quarantine orders many of us are under. Most of us can’t wait for things to get back to normal, Stanley muses, because the isolation has forced us to confront “our more sinister selves–that stuff in us we weren’t sure was there.” 

In addition to having to face these less-than-pleasant characteristics in ourselves, some of us are currently facing more tangible trials in the form of job losses or health emergencies. While it may feel like James, who, Stanley explains, led the church in Jerusalem for 30 years after Jesus’ resurrection, shouldn’t be able to relate to our current predicament, he might be able to better than we think. Stanley explains that the church in Jerusalem, which would have mainly consisted of Jewish converts to Christianity, faced many trials–including financial ones that prompted the apostles to ask other churches throughout the known world for assistance. In effect, Stanley says James was surrounded by and responsible for “a community in crisis.”

Stanley contends that what James means when he instructs us to “consider it pure joy” whenever trials come our way is that “when circumstances deteriorate, artificial, counterfeit, what’s-in-it-for-me faith deteriorates right along with it.” In other words, a trial can reveal “the authenticity of our confidence in God.” It is, as James describes it, a “testing of your faith.” 

True Faith and Wisdom

“Artificial, counterfeit” faith is a topic Stanley devotes a little time to in his sermon. Without using the phrase false teaching, Stanley mentions that some preachers present faith the wrong way. For instance, Stanley says “Faith is not how we get God to do stuff.” Nor is it a “super power.”

True faith, say Stanley, is “confidence that God already did something. Faith is simply confidence that God is who God reveals himself to be in the New Testament and that he will do everything he’s promised.” Rather than being something that we initiate, faith is “ultimately a response to God.” 

In light of this understanding of faith, James is saying “there is joy in discovering how real our faith really is,” Stanley explains. In trials, you’re discovering things about yourself you couldn’t discover any other way, Stanley argues. “In trials, we are confronted with the authenticity–or the lack of authenticity–in our faith.”

In addition to revealing something useful, James goes on to say that trials produce perseverance by exercising our faith. “Don’t leave the gym early,” Stanley says James is essentially saying when he writes “let perseverance to finish its work” in verse four.

Stanley encourages those currently facing a trial by explaining that the very thing you may be trying to pray away is the thing God is using to produce mature faith in you. “The tension in our lives is the epicenter of God’s activity in our lives,” Stanley argues. “The only way to have grown-up faith is to face the trial as you experience God’s faithfulness in the trial.” Stanley instructs those facing a trial to ask God to use it until he chooses to remove it. 

This is essentially why James instructs believers to ask for wisdom in a passage about trials. The instruction seems a little counterintuitive; Stanley admits that when he’s going through a tough time, “I don’t want wisdom. I want relief.” But this where James’ instruction makes sense if we have a proper understanding of faith. If the trials are designed to produce a mature faith in us, we should ask for wisdom to be able to see the trial as God sees it. 

The Most Inspiring People

“I’m most inspired by people whose faith is tested and endures,” Stanley says. “I’m more inspired by people who get a ‘no’ from God and whose faith endures than I am by people who always seem to get a ‘yes’ from God and they live somewhat of a wrinkle-free life.”

An example of one such inspiring person is Regi Campbell, a close friend of Stanley’s and a fellow minister who passed away three months ago. “I have never seen an individual face and embrace his own mortality with more confidence and more courage and more faith than Regi Campbell,” Stanley said of his friend, who faced a medical condition (not COVID-19 related) that left his lungs unable to function.  

30 COGIC Leaders Pass from COVID-19: ‘It’s Quite Devastating’

Screenshot from Twitter / @COGICisLIVE

The leadership of the Church of God in Christ (COGIC), a predominantly African American denomination, has been hit particularly hard by COVID-19. According to Bishop Brandon B. Porter of the COGIC General Board, up to 30 leaders in the church, including two out of the 12 board members, have passed away as a result of complications from the coronavirus.

“We had just had a meeting in January with all of us together for our general board coming together and planning,” Porter told an ABC News affiliate. “That was in January, and in March these gentlemen are gone.”

The two board members who passed, both from Michigan, were Bishop Nathaniel Wyoming Wells, Jr., and Bishop Phillip Aquilla Brooks, II. The church tweeted of Brooks, “This Giant in Christendom and Elder Statesman will be missed dearly.”

COGIC Leaders Succumb to COVID-19

COGIC was founded in 1897 and is headquartered in Memphis, Tennessee. It currently has six million members. Regarding the other COVID-related deaths in the denomination, Porter said, “Either the first lady of the church has passed, a deacon, or a church mother or a younger person in the church has passed.”

Other COGIC leaders in Michigan whose deaths have been connected to the virus include bishops Robert E. Smith, Sr., and Robert L. Harris, as well as Willie Mae Sheard. Sheard was a church leader in the Detroit area and her husband, Bishop John H. Sheard, is currently recovering from the virus.

The disease also claimed the life of Bishop T.T. Scott, who was a COGIC leader in Mississippi for almost 50 years. Porter spoke to Scott on the phone after the latter was hospitalized and said, “I could tell he was having respiratory situations so I prayed for him and that was the last time I spoke with him.” The church has lost leaders in New York in addition to Mississippi and Michigan. All three states are areas where COGIC has a significant presence and COVID-19 has been rampant, reports The Washington Post.  

Porter believes that the annual meetings COGIC holds in March for its more than 300 jurisdictions could have been partially responsible for spreading the disease. Another factor could have been that members were encouraged to attend funerals held by the church before people were aware of the seriousness of the virus. Data has also shown a disproportionately high number of deaths within the African American community compared to other demographics.  

David Daniels, a historian on Pentecostalism and a member of COGIC, said that the church is suffering not only from the loss of its leaders but also from not being able to gather in person to grieve. Thousands typically attend funerals for prominent church leaders, he said, so “the impact of not being able to meet is extraordinary.”

“It’s quite devastating and horrific for us,” said Porter, “because the Church of God in Christ is a large family of faith-based believers. These are persons that have given their time and talents to the church in such extensive ways.”

Justin Welby: There Are ‘wonderful’ Things Emerging From This ‘very dark time’

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Though he describes COVID-19 as “unmitigated evil,” Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby says the locked-down church is experiencing renewal and “making a huge impact.” As head of the Church of England, Welby recently addressed some ways that body is working to meet people’s needs during a time of social restrictions.

Phone Line Provides Connections

Because elderly people are high-risk for the virus and less likely to use the internet, they’re especially prone to loneliness while homebound. So the Church of England set up Daily Hope, a free phone line that provides resources such as full worship services, prayers, beloved hymns, and even medical advice. The line, updated regularly, offers support to people “feeling lonely and isolated, whatever age,” says Welby.

The England-based Christian charity Faith in Later Life helps support Daily Hope. Carl Knightly, the group’s chief executive, says older people face challenges even “in normal times—and these are not those.” That’s why faith-based organizations must partner with churches to “offer hope to our nation at this time,” he says. England’s COVID-19 death toll is nearing 21,000.

Pandemic Is a ‘huge learning experience’

In an April 24 interview with Premier Christian News, Archbishop Welby reveals that life in lockdown is “far busier than normal,” requiring day-to-day decisions about church operations. Though he jokes he’d be first in line to reopen, he says the Church of England must follow medical guidelines about proceeding safely. “I hope we will begin to have some very limited use [of church buildings] as soon as we can,” he says, “but I can’t put a date on it.”

Although at-home worship allows Welby to “concentrate more easily” and sit in a comfortable chair, he admits online services have disadvantages too. Speaking to people while looking into a camera is “quite difficult,” he says. “You don’t get the same engagement, and you can come away feeling a bit flat. But I’ve been deeply moved by the services I’ve participated in. They’ve reached out in a way that surprised me, and that is…the work of the Spirit.”

Lockdown has been a “huge learning experience” for Welby, and he says it provides many opportunities for the church. “There’s a renewal of the sense that we all belong to Christ,” he says, “and I hope we can build on that.” The Archbishop also points to global prayer movements as another “wonderful” thing emerging from a “very dark time.”

Prayer Event Forced to Go Virtual

Four years ago, Welby launched Thy Kingdom Come, a 10-day prayer celebration between Ascension and Pentecost. Last year, an estimated 10,000 people gathered in London’s Trafalgar Square to pray with a focus on evangelism.

Due to the pandemic, this year’s ecumenical event will look different but is still expected to touch many lives. From May 21 to 31, people in more than 100 countries and from dozens of denominations are pledging to “Light Up the World” in prayer. The global movement’s website provides specific ideas for churches that want to participate in this year’s virtual version of Thy Kingdom Come.

Which Preaching Style Works Best for Livestream Services?

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This week I was discussing with my old friend Bishop Kenneth Ulmer about the best preaching style during a live stream message. By “style” we’re not talking about expository versus topical or motivational versus scholarly. We were referring to the physical style of preaching and what works best on camera for a live stream – especially when 100% of your congregation is watching online.

In that context, the two styles most frequently discussed are the classic full on preaching style most pastors do on a typical Sunday versus a lower key conversational style that many younger preachers are known for today.

Most pastors can get pretty worked up and passionate about their message, while others maintain a conversational approach. The problem is that the debate shouldn’t be about which is better, but which reflects a pastor’s personal preaching style and the expectations of the congregation.

There are numerous pastors – Andy Stanley for example – who are very good at the conversational approach. Andy isn’t a loud or forceful preacher, but he still makes a powerful connection with his congregation online. And the truth is, Andy – and pastors like him – were “conversational” even before the lockdown. Andy knows his strengths and is sticking with it.

On the other hand, Pastor Eric Petree at Citygate Church in Ohio leads a diverse, pentecostal church. Eric is a strong preacher and can get very passionate when he’s in the pulpit, and even now online, he preaches pretty much the same way. And while doing that, has actually expanded his live stream worship and music time, and has experienced growth across the board every week of the shutdown.

There isn’t a perfect preaching style that works best online. But having said that, I do think many pastors should consider dialing it back a bit – because you can’t walk around on the stage and get too theatrical online. When 100% of the congregation is on the other end of a camera, we have to adapt everything to that reality.

But the bottom line is that for me, it’s not a debate about preaching style, it’s about FOCUS. Focusing on your own unique personal preaching style, your unique congregation, delivering what they expect, but within the context of making it work on camera.

For more of my blog posts, video teaching, and webinars to help you navigate this crisis, check out this list.

I’ve said before that during this shutdown, we’re off the map. And when we’re in uncharted territory, rather than trying to be someone you’re not, let’s focus on who you are. Experiment. Try new things. See what works. But never let that overshadow your own unique gifts, and an intimate knowledge of the expectations of your own congregation.

This article about the best preaching style originally appeared here.

Big Brains and Diseased Hearts

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Has your personal study of the Word of God informed and enlarged your brain without convicting and transforming your heart?

When I was a younger pastor, I was exegeting my way through Romans, engulfed in an intoxicating world of language syntax and theological argument. I labored over tenses, contexts, objects, and connectors. I studied etymologies and the Pauline vocabulary.

Countless hours of disciplined private study were represented by page upon page of notes. It was all very gratifying. I felt so proud that I had filled my notebook with copious notes on Romans.

Then one evening, it hit me. It was a sweet moment of divine rescue by the Holy Spirit. I had spent hours each day for months studying perhaps the most extensive and gorgeous exposition of the gospel that has ever been written, yet I had been fundamentally untouched by its message.

My study of the Word of God had been a massive intellectual exercise but almost utterly devoid of spiritual, heart-transforming power.

You may never exegete an entire book of the Bible, but God does call you to be a diligent student of his Word. But here’s the danger: because of remaining sin and self-righteousness, our study of Scripture could leave us with big theological brains and untouched and diseased hearts.

Could I be describing you? Here are three signs of an untouched and diseased heart that I have experienced, even after studying passages that speak directly to these symptoms!

Anxiety

In Matthew 6, Christ asks his followers, “Why are you anxious?” He explains that it makes sense for the Gentiles (unbelievers) to be anxious because they don’t have a heavenly Father, then reminds us that we have a Father who knows what we need and is committed to delivering it.

As you study the Word of God and see evidence of his past, present, and future provision splashed across every page (Phil. 4:19, 2 Pet. 1:3, etc.), does it give your heart rest? If this theology informs your brain but does not capture your heart, the anxieties of life will likely influence how you live.

Control

I am convinced that rest in this chaotic world, submission to authority, and a willingness to give and share control all arise from a sure knowledge that every single detail of our lives is under the careful administration of One of awesome glory.

As you memorize verses like Daniel 4:35, Psalm 135:6, and Isaiah 46:10, does it create peace in your heart? When the theology of God’s sovereignty moves beyond your brain and transforms your heart, you won’t have to be in control of everything and everyone in your life.

Addiction

Whenever you ask creation to do what only the Creator can do, you are on your way to addiction. I’m not talking about life-destroying addictions that require a rehabilitation center, but anything (however small) that provides a temporary retreat or pleasure or buzz that you return to again and again. When the joy of Christ isn’t ruling your heart, you are rendered more susceptible to some form of everyday addiction.

As you study the Word of God, are you searching for heart and life-transforming pleasure? (The pleasure of knowing, serving, and pleasing Christ: see 2 Cor. 5:9, 1 Thes. 4:1, Eph. 5:10) Some Christians get way too much pleasure from being theogeeks!

I am not suggesting at all that your Bible study cannot include any scholarly components. But whenever you search the Scriptures, it should be a time of worship and not just education.

Each time you open the Word of God, you should be looking for your beautiful Savior, whose beauty alone has the power to overwhelm any other beauty that could capture your heart.

God bless,

Paul Tripp

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. What have you studied recently in the Scriptures that informed your brain and increased your theological awareness? Why is this a blessing from the Lord?

2. How should this newfound biblical wisdom convict and transform your heart? Be specific.

3. Re-read Matthew 6:25-34. Apply this passage to any anxiety that you might be experiencing in the here and now. How should this comfort you?

4. Do you tend to be a controlling person? What is it that you fear most about not being in control? How should the theology of God’s sovereignty give up control?

5. Are you currently returning to something in creation over and over again for comfort and pleasure? Are you telling yourself that you can manage this craving when the evidence might suggest that it’s dominating you?

This article originally appeared here.

Vulnerability: A Forgotten Virtue of Great Leadership

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You don’t know it all. There are limits to your knowledge, ability and energy. And while the competitive nature of our culture, which often sneaks into our lives in ministry, would have us hide all of our weaknesses in fear, there is tremendous power in becoming vulnerable with people.

Deciding to become vulnerable is risky. As church leaders, there will be people in our congregations who don’t want us to be human. They would prefer that we wear a halo and pretend that we’re never really tempted to sin in the same ways that they are. They feel safer if we, as spiritual leaders, are immune to the crass realities of life.

But when we hide our weaknesses, three big problems arise:

  • Our weaknesses get worse, feeding off of the shame and secrecy.
  • We become dishonest and hypocritical.
  • The truth inevitably comes out and people are disillusioned as a result.

So is bearing our vulnerability worth the risk? Absolutely. Here are some important reasons why vulnerability is a forgotten virtue of great leadership…

1. It’s emotionally healthy.

Maintaining an image of perfection requires enormous amounts of emotional energy. One of the reasons we sometimes get so stressed out and depressed is because we’re working so hard to stay behind the facade and keep everyone convinced that we’re strong.

If you are worried about your image, you are heading for burnout. Keeping people happy and impressing others is terribly exhausting, and it’s always temporary. Eventually, people get to know our weaknesses all at once.

Being real and vulnerable, on the other hand, is liberating. It’s freeing. In fact, it’s really the only way to live. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (NLT). We need to confess our sins to God to be forgiven, but we also need to talk about our weaknesses with others to find healing.

In fact, some faults won’t budge until you confess them to others.

17 Wedding Day Dreams We Should All Hope For

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The wedding day has finally come. Tomorrow, Lord willing, I will no longer be not-yet-married.

In a month or year or five years, people will ask us how marriage is going. We didn’t want to have to settle for how we feel in the moment, so we prayed about what we want out of marriage. We have specific, hope-filled dreams for what God might do as we patiently and selflessly give ourselves to one another day after day until death do us part.

My bride and I will walk the aisle looking beyond the altar, our beautiful bridal party, and all our beloved guests to something far bigger and more significant: a lifetime of treasuring Christ together in marriage.

For sure, we’re naïve and inexperienced, but we have a God bigger than all of our fears, inadequacies, and future failures. The marriage in our imaginations is not always pretty, but it is beautiful. It’s not always easy, but it is worth all the effort and sacrifice. It’s certainly not perfect, but it is filled with grace and joy.

“The marriage in our imaginations is not always pretty, but it is beautiful.”

These are seventeen dreams we have for our marriage. I wonder if you have dreams for yours? A marriage without a vision might survive, but it probably won’t grow or thrive. Whether you’re currently married or feel called to be married someday, God created marriage to be an amazingly rich, dynamic, and fruitful experience for his children. Pray and ask him to show you new and deeper dimensions of all he means marriage to be for you and your (future) spouse.

1. May we enjoy God more than anyone or anything else, including one another.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

2. May we pray and pray and pray.

“Pray then like this: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.’” (Matthew 6.9–13″>Matthew 6:9–13)

3. May we have and raise joyful, godly children, if God wills.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. (Psalm 127.3–4″>Psalm 127:3–4)

4. May we be bold ambassadors for the gospel wherever we go and always be winning worshipers for him.

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5.20–21″>2 Corinthians 5:20–21)

These Days We Need Sustainability In Worship and Ministry

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I don’t know about you, but the last few weeks have felt like an eternity for me. I’ll be talking with my wife and reference something that I think happened a month ago, and she’ll politely remind me that it was last week. I also can’t seem to remember what day of the week it is anymore—my wife also stopped me in my tracks recently as I started rolling our trash cans to the curb two days early. Needless to say, I’m thankful for her. This season has been jarring to say the least. And while the first several weeks put many churches (rightfully so) in crisis mode, most of us have learned to adapt to this new normal we’re in. I think that’s a good sign that we’re adapting to our situation well. But I’m seeing three big questions emerge as this “coming-out-of-crisis-mode” shift takes place. They center around the what, when, and how of moving ministry forward, with sustainability.

What is the new normal?

We might not know what day of the week it is, but we do know that life has been altered. What was normal is no longer. When life settles into whatever life will look like post-COVID-19, it will certainly look different. That extends into the church, too. Worship services, ministries, and gatherings are bound to look different than they used to. Some of that is okay though. That means it’s a great time for us to ask important questions about what’s most important to our ministry. What had we been doing (pre-pandemic) that we don’t need to do any longer? Moving ministry forward means asking what have we learned during this time? How can we better utilize this “new” technology to connect, support, and expand the mission of the church?

When will the church meet together again?

Whatever that new normal ends up being, we’re nowhere near that point yet. In the beginning of March, many of us thought this would be a short-term, temporary shut-down. Now stay-at-home orders have extended to almost every state and province across North America. Those orders have already been extended in many places, so we don’t really know when we’ll even be able to go back to the family diner down the street, much less go back to having worship services like we used to do them.

How can we ensure sustainability?

We don’t know what normal is going to look like, and we don’t know when we’re going to be able to figure that out. So that means we need to allow space for our staff and leadership to create systems, services, and ministries that are sustainable. Working 80 hours a week is doable for two or three weeks, but that’s not sustainable. When you’re still working 80-hour workweeks four or five months down the road, it’s completely unhealthy and will lead to destruction. Realize what’s doable for your church and ministry leadership, and don’t overdo it. Whatever you’re doing, do it well. But have serious conversations about what is and is not realistic for the next several months: in other words, about sustainability. You’re not the Savior; you just need to point to him. Here are three ways you can help create a sustainable environment in your worship services.

1. Realize that people are worshipping differently now

Your church may be used to having a 75-minute service twice every Sunday. But now is the time to change that. Your focus needs to be on the gospel, connecting people, and providing support. Find ways to provide that space—that may mean you do seven 5-minute clips and publish them each day of the week, rather than one 35-minute sermon. It may mean shorter worship services that people can access when it’s right for their family. Try different things. Find what works for you.

2. Utilize the tools available

There are tons of music artists, publishing groups, and video services that have made their content or services available to you—either for free or at some sort of discount. The point is this: there are tons of tools available. You don’t need to do everything in-house just because you usually do. Sustainability means get creative, get innovative, and use what you have at your disposal.

3. Don’t put unnecessary strain on your tech team

Whether you’re live streaming, pre-recording, or doing something different for your church services, this season is already putting more pressure on your (almost always very limited) tech team. While they try to operate on a shoestring budget, with as minimal staff and volunteers as possible, the reality is that your services rely heavily on this team. Sustainability means we must take care of them.

The COVID-19 pandemic has caused all of us to make major changes. But we still have more adjustments to make. Let’s continue to serve well, because sustainability is a marathon rather than a sprint.

 

This article originally appeared here, and is used by permission.

So You Want to Use Zoom Anyway

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Most organizations were a bit unprepared for the increased remote work forced on us by the current pandemic. Churches and ministries are communication-focused, and most organizations are letting staff use communication tools they normally wouldn’t. Zoom has a reputation for poor security. Is it valid? And if you want to use Zoom anyway, how should you approach doing so?

Why is Zoom So Controversial?

Zoom has had a number of security vulnerabilities come to light in the last year. From password breaches to the takeover of webcams, from data mining to multiple security flaws, and uninvited people joining meetings and doing unwelcome things on camera, Zoom has worked hard to not earn our loyalty. Even federal law enforcement has recommended not using it. But many don’t care! It’s fun and easy! So much so, that those responsible for running churches and ministries are having a hard time reigning in its use.

What to Use Instead of Zoom

There are better solutions available. Solutions that don’t come with security warnings! Here’s what I recommend and why:

  1. FaceTime. It is secure, easy, and fun, but it only works on Apple devices (which is why it is secure—Apple strongly controls their ecosystem). The downside is that everyone has to have an Apple device to participate, and that’s often not the case. It is free.
  2. Microsoft Teams. Anyone with an O365 account has free access to Teams. It is secure, and easy to use—you can create a meeting in Outlook and send it to everyone you want in the meeting, and they’ll be able to join easily. It is free, even to those without O365 accounts.
  3. GoToMeeting. Secure and pretty easy to use. It is free for 30 days.

Zoom Usage Recommendations

Okay, so you’ve decided to use—or let team members use—Zoom anyway. I recommend communicating the following to each participant in advance of their next Zoom meeting:

Our organization does not recommend Zoom because of its many security vulnerabilities, but are allowing it until we select an organization solution. In the meantime, please:

  • When setting up a Zoom meeting, use the password and waiting room options, and DO NOT post your meeting invite details or meeting screenshots online.
  • DO NOT use a userid and password combination you use in any other website, database, etc. Make certain your userid and password is unique to your Zoom account so that if their user base gets hacked again, you will not be vulnerable.
  • While in a Zoom call, please DO NOT talk about:
    • Any financial specifics (your financial institutions, account numbers, etc),
    • Family structures and names, ages, etc; nor the schools your children attend,
    • Missionaries or pastors of churches in closed countries, or
    • Anything else you would not want to be made public.

That may seem like overkill, but is appropriate.

 

This article originally appeared here, and is used by the author’s kind permission.

Ten Rules to Avoid Ministry Burnout

Twenty-five years ago, I knew I was burned out when I carelessly walked in front of a city bus and stupidly tried to defensively block it with a karate move. I had been working in a large Philadelphia law firm, and the relentless pressure and demands of practicing law had gradually depleted my energy and judgment (who walks in front of a bus and tries to block it?). The near miss with the bus, whose driver’s quick reflexes saved me from tragedy, convinced me that I was beyond burned out, needed a break, and had to make wiser choices in my life.

Burnout is a real problem, and for pastors, it is a real threat to you, your family, your ministry, and your church. According to one study on why pastors leave the ministry, moral failure is only the second most common reason pastors leave the ministry. The first is burnout.

When burnout runs its course, pastors often report that they have no initiative or drive, little energy, don’t want to visit with people, and just want to be left alone. Other symptoms include depression, anxiety, irritability, and disillusionment with people, loss of confidence, a feeling of being mistreated, and feelings of detachment. Of course, with the intense and unrelenting demands of ministry, there is a spiral effect: Burnout causes inefficiency, inefficiency creates increasing demands, demands create pressure and concomitant guilt for not achieving desired goals, added pressure and guilt causes stress, stress causes a depletion of energy and drive, which in turn causes inefficiency.

Sound familiar? Want to get off that vicious merry-go-round? Here are 10 life-saving suggestions:

1. “Take heed to yourself” in accordance with Paul’s exhortation to Timothy (1 Tim. 4:16). Paul was first concerned with Timothy the person before he was concerned for Timothy the pastor. Many pastors are reluctant to take an honest look at their own lives. Paul understood the wounds, discouragement, and fears that besieged Timothy and afflicts many pastors. Accordingly, pastors should heed Paul’s wise command to pay careful attention to yourself. This includes remembering your calling and the redemptive story of God’s hand in your life, taking an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, and wisely providing care for yourself and your family.

2. Cultivate dependence on God for the strength and power needed in your ministry. Remember, your ministry is not yours – it is God’s. He has called you, and He must accomplish His work in you. Therefore, stop trying to control what you can’t control and manage what you have no business managing. This includes managing other’s opinions of you and their reactions to you.

3. Lower your expectations (and those of your congregation). Learn to say no and to delegate by asking others to employ their gifts. Biblically speaking, being a pastor is not a one-man show. Have you turned it into one?

4. Learn to balance your life and pace yourself. Ministry is not a sprint; it is a marathon. Take the long view and realize that sometimes slowing down will make you more effective. Create margins of time so that you are not always rushed. Take frequent breaks. Give yourself permission to take a nap and to rest.

5. Create time away to get refreshed. When I coach pastors, they often look at me incredulously when I tell them to include time spent in solitude, recreation, and refreshment as part of their working hours. Why? Because your “job” requires you to be spiritually fit, and you can’t be in good spiritual condition by always being on the go. Jesus often “withdrew to a quiet place” and effectively said “no” to ministry opportunities. You should do no less. A practical way to actually implement this suggestion is to regularly schedule your times of refreshment on your calendar and treat them as “real” appointments. If you are asked for a meeting at that time, your honest response will be, “I have an appointment.” Protecting these “appointments” is not being selfish, it is exercising good stewardship, will increase your effectiveness, and will protect you from burnout.

6. Cultivate interests that are not directly related to your work as a pastor. It is refreshing to engage in activities where you are not the one in charge, the one in the know, and the one who must make it happen! Sports, gardening, fishing, carpentry, reading, biking, camping, hang gliding, kayaking, bird watching, and stamp collecting are just some activities that offer healthy distractions from ministry that will refresh you. An added bonus will be the metaphors and illustrations that will later aid you in sermon prep and counseling.

7. Develop a sense of humor so that you can laugh at yourself and difficult situations. Laughter is an antidote to cynicism and sarcasm.

8. Pay careful attention to your diet, exercise, and sleep patterns. Don’t underestimate the importance of staying physically healthy and daily exercise. Endorphins are God’s natural high achieved by sweat and hard work!

9. Seek intimate fellowship with pastors and others with whom you can share your burdens. A common theme I see in counseling pastors is their sense of isolation and loneliness. There are likely many other pastors in your city or town who endure similar struggles. Seek them out and cultivate deep relationships with them. Share your successes, challenges, and struggles. Don’t buy into the lie that you “have to keep up appearances” and “protect your turf.” Protecting your reputation is often used as an excuse to stay entrenched in isolation. By developing peer relationships, you give God an opportunity to create friendships, alliances, and ministry opportunities that may surprise you.

10. Get help if you need it. I know that you are used to being the one in control, doing the counseling, being there for those who are hurting, and keeping everyone else all together. I also know that some pastors don’t believe in being too “introspective” and see counseling as something that “other people” need. Those who are in the helping profession are most at risk for burnout. Recognizing that you’re getting burned out shouldn’t require anything as dramatic as almost getting hit by a bus. In his provocative article “Death by Ministry,” Pastor Mark Driscoll stated that it might be wise and appropriate to “meet with a Biblical counselor to get insight on your own life and tendencies.” One of the best things you can do for your ministry, yourself, and your family may be to visit with a trusted counselor who can be there for you, provide insight and feedback, and help you along the way.

The Importance of a Small Group Network…Hanging with People Unlike You

communicating with the unchurched
For the last two days I’ve been hanging with a couple of good friends… Steve Gladen, the groups guy at Saddleback Church in southern California, and Bill Search, the groups guy at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky. We’ve laughed, asked each other for input on decisions we’re trying to make, discussed ideas we have for our ministries, and spent an unthinkable amount of time talking about the small group world. I’m invigorated.
We share like passions, Christ being known and lifted up through small groups. But we’re not even close to being mirror images of one another… for sure. Steve is an athletic California boy, Bill a masculine Michiganer, and I, well, I’m a short, pudgy, guy with deep roots in Kentucky. Steve is a pragmatist with an amazing ability to see things most of us would miss and unearths wisdom when discussing ministry situations that is well… astounding. Bill is one of the great thinkers in the small group space with a passion for theological perspective and is courageously unwilling to allow small group norms that contradict Scripture to stick in the midst of a conversation. I am simply a visionary passionately pursuing what both Bill and Steve offer and oftentimes sharing the wisdom that they, and people like them pass on to me. Steve and Bill are small group pastors who also consult, I’m a small group consultant who has pastored and continues to do so when a church is in need… for a time. We are not much alike.
Our primary passion brings us together, and when we are together synergy and energy flow like the Mississippi River and when it does, my heart comes alive. I must confess, times like these are a lifeline to a guy like me, a guy oftentimes drowning in his own red tape, his negative self-thought, his personal pride, and his overwhelming responsibilities. I need a network. You do too.
As I make may way around the country speaking with small group pastors I am vividly aware that one of the great necessities of ministry is getting with some other small group types to laugh with, throw ideas off of, and gain wise counsel from.
If you find yourself without a network and you don’t know where to turn, I am going to suggest you consider clicking on the link below this paragraph. Steve has been and continues to build a network for small group pastors, small groups of small group pastors who meet regularly throughout the United States. Check out the site below and then take the next step… Go to the bottom of the page, click on “Join one of our local networks today!” and sign up. I am almost certain you’ll be a better person having done so. I am certain that your ministry will reap the benefits.

6 Stakeholders in Your Ministry

#1 Tent Stake Holders: These are the people God gives you in the beginning of your vision or enterprise. During this time, things are flexible and nothing is permanent. It’s exciting to have anybody help “pitch the tent” in the early days. For whatever reason, some good and some bad, God moves these people on. But they are always a gift in the start-up season. They contributed to the scaffolding for what you were building and not to the building itself.

#2 High Stakes Holders: These are the people God gives you as “lifers” in your ministry and vision. They are “all in.” When you bet the farm, they did too. You couldn’t have done it without them, and it’s hard to imagine the journey ahead if they’re not standing right next to you. They have the mentality of “owners.”

#3 Eat-the-Steak Holders: As you build your ministry, you will hire people to contribute. These people are the staff and employees of the cause. Of course, you want them fired up and living on mission. But at the end of the day, they experienced the benefit of the mission’s success prior to experiencing the sacrifice of the mission’s start. Their commitment is variable because it’s hard for them to separate what they give to the cause from what they get. Nevertheless, they are crucial carriers of the vision.

#4 Stake Beholders: These are not the people who got the vision and jumped on the board. These are the people for whom the vision existed. This is the single mom who met Jesus through your ministry and is loyal to your leadership. This is the successful businessman who is always attentive to your advice because his life was changed by God’s truth spoken through you. You may not feel like these people are your core stakeholders, but their combined presence gives a cumulative credibility and substance to your vision.

#5 SweepStake Holders: Every once in a while, God brings the right person at the right time to strategically advance the vision. This jackpot person may be a large gift donor or a trusted advisor or a silent prayer warrior. They may not be around the vision everyday, but they are willing investors at a distance. They move as God supernaturally directs or as they perceive need. They are your angels.

#6 Mis-take Holders: No matter how well you lead, there will be frustrated people in your ministry. Some well-meaning people will receive from the ministry for a season but were never called to contribute back. Others will be misplaced staff or volunteers who never really fit or never really caught the vision. Be the recipient of “blessed subtraction” and let these people find a place where they can be a better kind of stakeholder.

The Real Sins of Sodom Might Surprise You

Sodom and Gomorrah
Adobe Stock #133832707

Do we have the correct view of Sodom and Gomorrah?

I’ll never forget it.

I had just watched the second plane collide with Twin Tower number two the morning of September 11. I was huddling around a T.V. with a few other people from the community in our church gathering room.

That’s when I heard someone say something I will never forget.

It just kind of rolled off his tongue with giddy anxiety and a dash of righteous indignation—”This is great, God’s finally getting America’s attention!” he said.

What?! I Thought. I couldn’t believe he actually said those words.

It was a complex moment; America was in utter chaos, and we were all trying to make sense of it. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I took the bait, “What are you talking about?” I asked.

That’s when he went into a tirade about America and homosexuality, sin and judgment.

How Do We Understand Sodom and Gomorrah?

It made me angry that someone who followed Christ would come to such a merciless application at a tragic time like September 11. This was a time for compassion and prayer, not judgment and prophetical blaming, right?

That’s when I came to the conclusion there are two kinds of Christians in the world: 1) Those who see homosexuals as people in need of God’s grace, and, 2) Those who see homosexuals as a target and their anger toward them as an extension of God’s wrath.

In other words, after 2,000 years, the church is still wrestling with Sodom and Gomorrah.

There’s no doubt the story of Sodom and Gomorrah has created a cultural rippling effect throughout history. Many churches today believe homosexuality is a distinct and wicked sin, above others, worthy of its own level of punishment and damnation.

In this worldview, it’s easy to peg our downfall as a “Christian” country on the sins of homosexuals. But, are they really getting Sodom straight? And are we?

Yes, the Bible says there were homosexuals in Sodom. Yes, they were engaged in sexual immorality. And, yes, this was detestable to God, but it’s only part of the story.

7 Family Dinner Conversation Starters

communicating with the unchurched

In my opinion, there’s no better place in the family where memories can be made than around the family dinner table. It’s potentially one of the easiest ways for parents to invest into their children, especially when they’re intentional about it.

There’s just something very special and bonding about gathering together around food, holding hands to pray, and then connecting with each other’s hearts and lives through real life conversation.

I’d encourage you as a parent to fight for eating around the dinner table daily as a family over the next week. As you do, here are some conversation starters to start using tonight with your kids that will help you engage in some healthy and enjoyable discussion.

As you discuss these family dinner conversation starters, be prepared to facilitate the conversation in a direction that fosters a heart for God and serving others.

1 – MONDAY

If you could be like someone you’ve personally met (other than someone in our immediate family), who would it be? Why?

2 – TUESDAY

Explain in detail… what was the best thing and/or the worst thing that happened to you today?

3 – WEDNESDAY

Tell one kind thing someone did for you today. Name one kind thing you did for someone else. How did either one make you feel?

4 – THURSDAY

Name one of your favorite superheroes and tell us what we can learn about God’s supernatural power from them. (Remind them that while superheroes are fun, true supernatural powers belong to God.)

5 – FRIDAY

What is the one characteristic of Jesus that you are working on developing the most in your life right now? (or need to currently work on the most)

6 – SATURDAY

Pick one person around the table and find things about them to brag on for 30 seconds straight. (Use a timer and once chosen, a person can’t be picked again. This ensures that everyone gets to have their strengths praised.)

7 – SUNDAY

What was the one thing you remember most that you learned about from church today? How did God speak to your heart through that?

While I know it’s unlikely that many of us will sit at the dinner table as a family 7 days in a row, try to get in as many days as possible this week. And add these questions not only to your “dinner table toolbox”, but to your daily routine as needed.

To make this as easy as possible, here’s a Free Printable PDF that you can use (or simply save the image below to your phone ;)…

I hope that you’ll take the challenge to fight the enemies of your family dinner table this week. I know that you’ll enjoy the conversations, laughter, and memories that will be made around your table and in your hearts.

What are some other questions you’ve used to engage your kids in conversation around the dinner table?

This article about family dinner conversation starters originally appeared here.

Jeremiah: Stern Things Without, Tender Things Within

communicating with the unchurched

Recently–while working through the books of Jeremiah and Lamentation–I have been struck with the picture Scripture gives us of the tender heart of the prophet. Jeremiah has not been called “the weeping prophet” in vain. He weeps with and for the people who are together suffering for the sins of Judah. The pain of exile weighs heavily on the heart of Jeremiah. However, God had raised him up and called him to speak hard prophetic words to God’s people about the judgment they were experiencing. Jeremiah is resistant to the initial call of God on account of his timid nature. Geerhardus Vos tied together the tenderhearted personality of Jeremiah and the difficult ministry to which God was calling him, when he wrote,

“In Jeremiah’s ministry these things are illustrated with extraordinary clearness, partly owing to the individual temperament of the prophet, partly also to the critical times in which his lot had been cast. His was a retiring, peace-loving disposition, which from the very beginning protested against the Lord’s call to enter upon this public office: “Ah Lord Jehovah, behold I know not how to speak, for I am a child” (1:6). An almost idyllic, pastoral nature, he would have far preferred to lead the quiet priestly life, a shepherd among tranquil sheep. Why was this timid lad chosen to be a fortified brazen wall to his people, to hammer out words of iron against the flinty evil of their hearts? And though he surrendered to God for the sake of God, there always seems to have remained in his mind a scar of the tragic conflict between the stern things without and the tender things within. His soul sometimes found it difficult to enter self-forgetfully into the message. A strange compulsion directed his thought and forced its utterance. He sat alone because of God’s hand, filled with indignation. In painful experience he learned that the way of man is not in himself to order his steps.”

Today, many boast themselves on speaking “words of iron against the flinty evil of the hearts of men” while lacking the “retiring, peace-loving disposition” of Jeremiah. One doesn’t have to look far to stumble across ministers who make offhanded comments in sermons about how so many other preachers are unwilling to boldly speak “the hard truths.” And though it is regretfully true that many ministers are unwilling to speak the hard parts of Scripture, these comments are often attended with a self-aggrandizing tone–a boastful air of superiority. What seems to be lacking in such individuals is the tension between “surrendering to God for the sake of God” while “a scar of the tragic conflict between the stern things without and the tender things within” remains in the mind and heart of the minister.

What the church needs at present is not ministers who will speak soft words to itching ears; nor does it need ministers who speak hard words with hard hearts. Rather, the church need ministers who–like the Lord Jesus Himself–will be marked by gentle and lowly hearts (Matt. 11:29), yet who will warn of the wrath to come (Matt. 10:15; 11:22, 24, 12:36; 41–42). The church need ministers who, like the Savior, will weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn–while preaching against hypocrisy, self-righteousness, lawlessness, and rebellion. The church needs ministers who can sympathize with God’s people, even as they speak the searching and challenging words of God to them–calling them away from their sin and to the Savior. The church needs men who will hold forth both the warnings and the promises of God, helping others see clearly their need for the one who, though He knew no sin, was made sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21). The church needs tenderhearted ministers who are committed to preaching Christ, “admonishing every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ (Col. 1:28). When God raises up such men, the tension they feel between the “stern things without” and the “tender things within” will be evident to all looking onto their ministries. May God raise up such tenderhearted ministers to speak what He wants them to speak in our day.

1. Geerhardus Vos, Redemptive History and Biblical Interpretation: The Shorter Writings of Geerhardus Vos, ed. Richard B. Gaffin Jr. (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2001), p. 289.

This article originally appeared here.

Why We Stopped Singing About the Return of Christ … and Why It’s a Problem

communicating with the unchurched

I recently compared two large selections of worship songs. The first was the most commonly sung congregational songs in the United States since the year 2000; the second was the most commonly published congregational songs from 1730–1850. Among many similarities, one difference was striking: Our churches no longer sing about Christ’s second coming as much as we used to.

Perhaps this makes some sense. Among other things, it can be embarrassing to Christians when people publicly conjecture regarding the time of Christ’s return. Their speculation begins with certainty on a precise date, but ends with ridicule on the local news.

Jesus himself warned us against this type of conjecture (Mark 13:32). The apostle Paul warned that Christ’s return wasn’t a topic for speculation, but for preparation (Romans 13:11–12). But Paul also disapproved of a reactionary stance that minimized the believer’s longing for Christ’s second coming.

Encourage One Another

In his letter to the church in Thessalonica, Paul instructs believers concerning the return of Christ, the resurrection of deceased believers and the reunion of all believers with the King. He concludes, “Therefore encourage one another with these words” (1 Thessalonians 4:18).

Christians ought to encourage each other with words and songs about Christ’s return. One easy way to be encouraged by the reality of Christ’s return is found at the end of the Bible. It is a four-word prayer in Revelation 22:20 that ought to regularly be on the lips of every follower of Jesus—and a theme to restore to its rightful place in our corporate worship: “Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”

15 Ways to Pray Like Jesus Prayed

communicating with the unchurched

Most of us struggle with prayer. Even when we know we should pray, it’s not always easy to do it. Maybe one way to start praying more fervently is to pray like Jesus did as recorded in the Gospel of Luke:

1. Pray as you commit yourself to God’s work: “When Jesus also was baptized and was praying, the heavens were opened” (3:21).

2. Start the day with prayer: “And when it was day, he departed and went to a desolate place” (4:42). Mark 1:35 tells us that Jesus went to this place to pray.

3. Push away from the crowds to pray: “Great crowds gathered to hear him … but he would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (5:15-16).

4. Pray for people to invest in, just as Jesus did before calling His disciples: “He went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God” (6:12).

5. Pray thanksgiving for food: “And taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing over them” (9:16).

6. Spend time praying alone: “Now it happened that as he was praying alone …” (9:18).

7. Take others to pray with you on a prayer retreat: “He took with him Peter and John and James and went up on the mountain to pray” (9:28).

8. Just rejoice in prayer: “In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, ‘I thank you, Father” (10:21).

9. Pray, and then teach others how to pray: “Now Jesus was praying in a certain place. … And he said to them, ‘When you pray, say …’” (11:1-2).

10. Pray for others under spiritual attack: “Simon, Simon, Satan demanded to have you … but I have prayed for you” (22:31-32).

11. Cry out to God in your grief: “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me” (22:42).

12. Pray for God’s will to be done: “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (22:42).

13. Pray for your enemies: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (23:34).

14. Pray when you face death: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” (23:46).

15. Pray blessings over Jesus’ followers: “Then he led them as far as Bethany, and lifting up his hands he blessed them” (24:50).

Why not use this list to focus your prayer life today? We can’t go wrong when we pray like Jesus prayed.  

Hey There, Entitlement — Meet God

communicating with the unchurched

I have a confession to make. I struggle with entitlement.

Entitlement? The definition might as well be “Americans.” It’s the attitude of deserving—I deserve to live in an expensive house, go to a private college, make $70,000 right out of school, send my food back at a restaurant if I don’t “like” it, sue someone for no reason at all, and … you get the point. This attitude almost doesn’t exist in the rest of the world.

I remember when the Chinese government shut off my power and water. Oh boy. They didn’t a.) notify me, or b.) tell me when I might be able to expect heat, light and water, or c.) compensate me in some way. I was f-u-r-i-o-u-s. I stomped around Kunming and demanded (in extra loud Chinese) that SOMEONE tell me what was going on. I shared my sob story about how I was sweaty from my run, had wet hair sticking to my head, and had PLACES TO BE. I was “that American,” oh yes. I burst into tears after a guy sitting behind a desk at the electric company chuckled through the thick smoke coming from his cigarette and said, “Foreigners.”

What happens when our sense of entitlement meets God? Does God ever owe us? Do we deserve certain things in this life? 

When I moved to China in 2008, nothing turned out as I expected. Within a few months, our team dissolved, accusations were flying right and left, and I left the missions organization. The details are not important, but I learned something very powerful that (excruciating) year. I saw in myself a roaring monster—I believed God owed me. I moved across the globe to CHINA, gave up a career (and a husband—I thought) and told everyone from old ladies to little kids about the man who came to die for them. Look how much I sacrificed for God! Didn’t I deserve a good team? A good experience? Why did it feel like I was sacrificing for Him and life was just getting harder?

As Christians, we’ve heard a lot of false teaching. It’s easy to listen to certain preachers and believe God owes us: health and wealth, a spouse, a promotion, a good job, a “problem free” family, or even the bigger things—life without abuse, a dad who isn’t an alcoholic, kids who don’t bring disgrace, a husband who doesn’t leave … and the list goes on.

The Bible says all who live for Christ will suffer (2 Tim. 3:12). John the Baptist could have looked up to the heavens from his jail cell and asked, “Don’t I deserve to be rescued? I preached the Gospel and lived in the wilderness and baptized Jesus.” But he was never rescued. He was beheaded in the hands of a cruel, godless king.

Paul could have made similar demands: “I preached the Gospel all over the world. Wrote most of the New Testament. Suffered imprisonment and more. Don’t I deserve to die in peace?” But he was brutally crucified. Jesus—He could have demanded an “easier death” or even not to feel the pain. But He suffered greatly as He hung on the cross and His Father poured out the sins of the world on His dying body.

The Bible also says that God doesn’t treat us as we deserve to be treated. He does not treat us as our sins deserve (Psalm 103:10) and what we deserve is death—without eternal life (Romans 6:23). God spoke powerfully to me that year in China. One morning, I sat crying on my porch asking God what I did to deserve the false accusations and broken team. It felt like He was punishing me. His answer came in a still small voice, over the noise of the city below:

“My child. You don’t deserve anything. Yet, I have given you everything.”

Even when your life is wracked with pain and disappointment and confusion and heartache—when storms blow hard against your faith—remember this: God has given you everything in the person of His Son. Transcending hope of eternal life. He loves you with a love so deep and so powerful, He sent His Son to the Cross. For you.

Do you struggle with a sense of entitlement towards God? What do you feel God owes you?  

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