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What Every Woman Needs to Know About Boundaries

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What if Jesus wants you to uncover the dazzling God-image that burns in your heart?

What if your most important job might be to ensure that fire does not go out?

If you’re like me, a part of you might think that sounds good, but another part of you might feel hesitant, thinking: doesn’t Jesus call us to deny ourselves (Matthew 16:24)?

You might be asking yourself, how does what I want factor into following Him?

It’s a good question and one that I have wrestled with in my own life. It’s my belief that when Jesus said to deny yourself, he understood a critical difference between denying your “selfishness” and denying your God-given, imago-bearing “self”.

It is a difference that is critical for women—and the men who love them—to understand.

When women (or anyone) are shoved aside, shamed, pushed down, or devalued, the words “deny yourself” get twisted in a damaging way and get translated in our minds as:

  • Shouldn’t I always sacrifice?
  • It’s selfish to state my own wants and needs.
  • It’s wrong to cultivate my talents or pursue dreams held within me.
  • I should never consider myself in any decision I make.

Boundaries for Women

The problem is that this extreme understanding flies in the face of Jesus’s teaching and example. Here are just a few illustrations:

—When it comes to sacrifice, Jesus tells Martha to stop sacrificing, and instead to RECEIVE (Luke 10).
—Jesus likens his love to a good father’s love for his children, encouraging conversation with him about what we want and need (Matthew 7:7).

—He emphasizes the importance of cultivating one’s talents in a pretty dramatic way (Matthew 25:14-30)

Yet, many women have been encouraged to “deny yourself” at the expense of other key messages, including receiving love, support, and inspiration from God and others, sharing our wants and needs, and cultivating our talents.

The result? Setting healthy boundaries poses unique challenges for women, because we’ve been taught to deny ourselves sacrificially without a counter-balancing message.

Boundaries for Women Video Course

That’s why I created the Boundaries for Women Video Course. It’s for women like you who want to learn how to love others without neglecting yourself. Click here to learn more and to register.

This article originally appeared here.

Handling Seasons of Discouragement in Small Group Leadership

After the group exited our home one particular night, I welcomed some discouraging questions and deliberated on a few statements, “Should I really be a small group leader?” I couldn’t have really heard from God when He asked me to take this group on. If I had, I would be a more effective leader. “Why am I not more sensitive to the needs of my group members? Do I really care about them? Am I incapable of getting the group to be authentic and open in conversation? Do I really know enough about the Bible to lead a small group?”

It had been a tough night. During the Bible discussion time, no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the group to converse. When an individual did talk, they simply regurgitated what someone else had told them before, another teacher’s thoughts, what they’d heard in a sermon, or what “my dad used to tell me.”

When prayer time came, it was even more discouraging. I asked for prayer requests prefacing these essential minutes by stating that we should focus on our own personal needs. But the only thing I heard was to pray for a sick co-worker, our pastor, or a concern for a family member’s health.

I did find out, however, during prayer time that a group member voiced that they’d been going through a really difficult life situation. They looked my direction as if to say, “Where were you? I needed you.”

It felt like I had come up to bat with the bases loaded. The team needed just one more run to win the game. They had their eye on me—depending on me to hit the ball. My moment had arrived. Strike 1! Strike 2! Strike 3! I hadn’t even fouled the ball off, and it was as if I hadn’t even taken a swing at it.

So my confidence was shot and bailing seemed like the only realistic thing to do. Surely there was someone who could lead the group better than me. And there certainly had to be someone waiting in the wings who could come to the plate and at least get on base. For sure, God had been mistaken when He asked me to join the team of small group leaders.

Well, the truth is that every small group leader has times when they lose confidence in their leadership. But the greatest leaders are those who stay in the game, and figure out how to deal with a lack of confidence, and feelings of discouragement.

The Spirit of Adoption

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Is there any better description of the gospel than embracing the spirit of adoption. Check out this amazing family, and discover God’s heart toward you.

These Must-See Movies in 2020 Are Based on Must-Read Books

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While popcorn films can be a lot of fun, few things match must-see movies that are packed with depth, power, and faith. In 2020 several great book adaptations are making their way to the big screen, many of which tell rich, powerful, redemptive stories that are worth your time. We’ve picked the nine films we’re most excited about, and that you should keep an eye out for, throughout the 2020 movie season. Some of these films are historical accounts, some are faith-based, others are literary classics, but all of them are a cinematic experience that you’ll walk away from feeling mentally fed by.

 

Emma

This comedy-drama remake of the classic Jane Austen book tells the story of Emma Woodhouse, the meddling young want-to-be-matchmaker who complicates the lives of everyone around her. In classic Austen fashion misunderstandings, unexpected love, and other such complications ensue. The movie’s release date is Feb. 21.

 

I Still Believe

This film based on the autobiography of Christian worship artist Jeremy Camp tackles tragedy, faith, and redemption as it tells the story of Camp and his first wife, Melissa. This is the story behind Camp’s song, I Still Believe, and an inside look at his difficult childhood and teenage years, the tragic passing of Melissa and the spiritual journey that followed. I Still Believe releases March 13. Use the film as a campaign in your church with a free sermon kit

 

 

The Call of the Wild

Jack London’s classic 1903 adventure novella is back for another remake, this time featuring some jaw-dropping cinematography, shaky use of CGI, and the always-welcome Harrison Ford. The story, about a man and his dog exploring the Yukon during the 1890s Gold Rush, has endured for over a century now, and is the perfect film for families. The film hits theaters Feb. 21.

 

 My Name Is Tani

Threatened by the Boko Haram insurgency, Tani Adewumi escaped Nigeria with his family and began living as a refugee in New York City in 2017. He went on to win the 2019 New York State chess championship at eight years old—just one year after learning to play the game. His story will be told in My Name Is Tani… and I Believe in Miracles, which is being published by W on April 14. The book is in process of being adapted for the screen by The Daily Show host Trevor Noah, though no release date has been set as of yet.

Demi Lovato: I Was Looking for God in All the Wrong Places

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In a recent interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe, singer Demi Lovato talked about her new single, “Anyone,” which she debuted at the Grammys Sunday night. Lovato wrote the song days before being hospitalized because of a drug overdose and now sees the lyrics as a cry for help. Since then, Lovato said she has been turning to God and meaningful relationships in her life instead of seeking purpose through other avenues.

“I tried to seek God through other experiences,” said Lovato, “whether that’s through other relationships or substances…and I had to realize the God that I’m seeking, the God that I love and the God that I want to be my God is available 24/7, always at an arm’s length, and constantly with me. And feeling that kind of, that shift, I don’t know, I just feel safer and I feel renewed.”  

New Demi Lovato Interview with Zane Lowe

Demi Lovato has a history of struggling with substance abuse, eating disorders, and mental illness. In March 2018, she celebrated six years of sobriety, but later that June confessed she had relapsed. The singer wrote “Anyone” shortly before overdosing on July 24, 2018. Here are some of the lyrics [Note: These lyrics contain language some may find offensive]:

I feel stupid when I sing
Nobody’s listening to me
Nobody’s listening
I talk to shooting stars
But they always get it wrong
I feel stupid when I pray
So, why am I praying anyway?
If nobody’s listening

Anyone, please send me anyone
Lord, is there anyone?

“I almost listen back and hear these lyrics as a cry for help,” said Lovato, wondering how anyone could have read those words and not have been concerned for her. “I wish I could go back in time and help that version of myself.” She was in a state of mind then where she thought she was ok, “but clearly I wasn’t.”

Success has failed to bring true joy and purpose to Lovato’s life. She used to be driven by a desire to achieve, whether that meant winning a Grammy or getting a number-one single. While there is nothing wrong with those accomplishments, she said, “I just know, personally, it doesn’t fill that hole inside of me that only love and appreciation and gratitude can fill.” This doesn’t mean she is unthankful for her success. “All of this is great,” said Lovato, “and it’s beautiful and I’m lucky and I’m blessed and I’m grateful. But I’ve learned that, clearly, if all of this made you happy, I wouldn’t have ended up where I did.” 

Lowe pointed out that music is often a way people cope with the pain in their lives, but “Anyone” presents even music as inadequate. The lyrics read,

I tried to talk to my piano
I tried to talk to my guitar
Talk to my imagination
Confided into alcohol
I tried and tried and tried some more
Told secrets ’til my voice was sore
Tired of empty conversation
‘Cause no one hears me anymore

Lovato responded that while music is wonderful and can help people with their pain, even music has its limitations. “Music has been a huge coping mechanism for me,” she said. “It’s been very therapeutic for me, but there’s only so much that music can do before you have to take responsibility and you have to take the initiative to get the help that you need.”

When asked what does make her happy, Lovato said, “When I think about what makes me happy today, I think about my family, I think about my friends, I think about my team. I think about connection…meaningful relationships.”

She also said that something new in her life has been attending church, adding, “I was not really a big ‘church’ person, like even a month ago.” But she went when her manager, Scooter Braun, invited her to a Bible study. There, said Lovato, “I just heard God clearer than I had heard him in a long time.” 

Lovato explained that she had avoided church because she did not feel welcome there and was questioning her sexuality. But now, she said, “I just found a place out here in L.A. that, like, accepts me for who I am no matter who I love, and there’s no judgment. And that’s what I needed was a place of no judgment. And I hadn’t found that until about a month ago actually.”

In an Instagram post about her performance at the Grammys, Lovato wrote, “What an unbelievable night. My first time back on stage in almost 2 years. So emotional for me. Thank you all for the love, support and for sharing this moment with me. I love you all.” 

Paula White’s Strange Prayer Doesn’t Make Sense to Most People

paula white prayer
Screengrab Twitter @Right Wing Watch

Paula White, Senior Pastor of New Destiny Christian Center in Orlando, Florida and spiritual advisor to President Trump, is in some hot water. A clip of White praying went viral over the weekend. In the clip, White prays against all kinds of attacks against the church, the United States, and the president specifically. The language and references she uses during the prayer will only be recognizable to those familiar with a certain circle in the global Pentecostal church, what some scholars refer to as falling under Charismatic Dominionism theology. 

The clip in question has been circulating around Twitter and other social media platforms. It drew a lot of attention when Right Wing Watch posted about it on Friday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the clip, White is speaking very quickly and yelling at points. As best we could make out, this is what White says in the clip:

We interrupt that which has been deployed to hurt the church in this season, that which has been deployed to hurt this nation in the name of Jesus. Forgive us for our sins. (Come on, I need you guys to pray.) We cancel every surprise from the witchcraft and the marine kingdom. Any hex, any spell, any witchcraft, any spirit of control, any Jezebel. Anything the enemy desires through spells, through witchcraft, through any way that is manipulation, demonic manipulation, we curse that. We break it according to the word of God, in the name of Jesus. We come against the marine kingdom. We come against the animal kingdom. The woman that rides upon the waters. We break the power in the name of Jesus, and we declare that any strange winds, any strange winds that have been sent to hurt the church, sent to against this nation, sent against our president, sent against myself, sent against others, we break it by the superior blood of Jesus right now, in the name of Jesus. We arrest every infirmity, affliction, fatigue, weariness, weakness, fear, sickness, any self-righteousness, any self-serving action, God. Let pride fall! Let pride fall! Let pride fall! Let pride fall, in the name of Jesus. We command all satanic pregnancies to miscarry right now. We declare that anything that has been conceived in satanic wombs, that it will miscarry. It will not be able to carry forth any plan of destruction, any plan of harm.

Paula White Prayer Garners Criticism

People were very concerned about the last few lines of White’s prayer, where she mentions “satanic pregnancies.” While some interpreted her words literally, thinking the pastor was praying for actual pregnancies to fail, White insists this is not what she meant. Trying to clarify her meaning on social media, she wrote, “I don’t normally respond but clearly this has been taken out of context. I was praying Eph 6:12 that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. Anything that has been conceived by demonic plans, for it to be cancelled and not prevail in your life…”

Still, several people have accused White of not being pro-life. Father James Martin, an editor of the Jesuit publication America Magazine, wrote:

No pregnancies are satanic. Every child is a gift from God. No one should ever pray for any woman to miscarry. No one should ever pray for evil or harm to befall another person. Jesus asked us to pray for our persecutors, not to curse them. To love our neighbors as ourselves.

A Professor Tries to Explain

A professor at Concordia University in Montreal, Canada, Prof. André Gagné, gave some context for White’s prayer in a series of tweets. Gagné studies the Christian Right, Charismatic Dominionism, and the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR), which he implies White falls into.

Gagné addresses the three most concerning things White prays against in the clip: the opposition to the marine kingdom, the animal kingdom, and the satanic pregnancies. The marine kingdom refers to a belief that there are demonic forces at work in the ocean. Gagné included a link to a website called EndTimeWatcher, which has an article about the “Demonic Marine Kingdom.” The article explains:

There are rulers and principalities from the sea! And the witches and wizards, who are Satan’s agents, understand these powers and submit to them. Spirits from the sea rule countries and cities above the waters, and below. They are governed and occupied these spirits and influenced by the magical wizards and witches beneath the seas. But, let’s make this perfectly clear…some of these are supernatural in their existence. This means not everyone can see these places. They are invisible to the physical eye. These cities are considered ‘phantasmal’. Phantasm: an apparition or specter. These creatures can live in more than one dimension. They are very real…as real as you and me. We are wonderfully and beautifully made by GOD but we exist on two levels, as well. We are natural but our spirit is supernatural. Some of these creatures have the ability to live in dual realities too.

As far as where this belief might have originated in Scripture, Cindy Jacobs points to Job 41 when she talks about the “Leviathan Spirit” that can affect nation, churches, and people. 

When White prays against the animal kingdom, Gagné argues this comes from the belief that animals sometimes exhibit demonic or evil behavior. Gagné points to a book by John Eckhardt entitled Deliverance and Spiritual Warfare Manual, which extrapolates portions of Scripture in Proverbs, Lamentations, and Job when referring to these particularly evil behaviors. Eckhardt references Job 39:13-17, which concerns itself with ostriches:

Christian Leaders Respond to Kobe Bryant’s Death

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Yesterday the world lost an iconic basketball player. Kobe Bryant, the retired Los Angeles Lakers star, was 41 years old. Bryant was traveling with his daughter (13) and seven others in a helicopter on Sunday morning when it crashed, killing everyone on board.

During his 20 year career with the Lakers, Bryant won five NBA Championships and two Olympic gold medals for the United States. He wasn’t perfect on or off the court, but strived to be the best he could be no matter what obstacle was in his way. That drive later became known as the ‘Mamba Mentality.

Kobe Bryant’s Death Makes Us Reflect

When the world loses someone it looks up to, admires, and sometimes emulates, it is hard to accept why God would allow something so tragic to happen to someone so young. At these times it helps to hear from Christian leaders, pastors, musicians, athletes, and others who believe in the mighty savior Jesus, to guide us well into hearing the Holy Spirit during sobering times like this.

May this remind us that the entire world around us longs for someone to worship, but most don’t even realize this until we lose a hero. Brothers and sisters, we have that eternal hope and life we can offer them. We can’t make them take it, but we can tell, express, and plead they know it before it is too late. May we worship our King Jesus in a way that makes others long to worship as well.

Join us in praying for all of the families who were affected by the crash yesterday.

Here are what some Christian leaders are saying after hearing the news of Kobe Bryant’s sudden passing.

There is nothing more common to the human experience than death. It touches everyone and everything on this planet. It…

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Shadow Racism

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https://amzn.to/3lDI8KcWhen it comes to a theology of race, there are four headlines:

1) We were all made by God;
2) We were all made in the image of God;
3) We were all made with distinction and variety—including the color of our skin; and
4) We are called into a relationship with God the Father by the Holy Spirit through Jesus the Son. This is why the Bible makes the following declaration: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28, NIV).

Evil of Racism

This brings us to the great evil of racism. And it is a great evil. It undermines, destroys and rips apart the very nature of God’s creation of a single human race made in the image of God for relationship with Him and with each other. Let’s be clear about the nature of this evil because racism is a word being seized and applied to almost everything in our politically-charged, social-media-trolling, Facebook-posting climate—by all sides. But we must dissect the real nature of this sin, because if everything is racist, nothing is racist.

True racism is believing in racial superiority. It’s believing that race determines intellectual, cultural and moral capacities. From that comes the practice of racism, which involves racial prejudice, bigotry and discrimination against others based on their race or ethnicity.

And that is a great evil and a stench in God’s nostrils, for it betrays the heart of God toward His creation—that all people are one and made in His image. To claim that you have more of the image of God than another, that you matter more to God than another, that you are distinct from the human race in a way that is superior to another, is heresy. And to have it take root and erupt in hatred, mistrust and division is unconscionable.

Racism can play out both individually and institutionally. On the institutional front, if you’re black and living in America, you are less likely to get a quality education, less likely to get a high-paying job, and less likely to live in an affluent neighborhood with low crime rates.

That’s just a fact. And often, institutionalized racism is behind it.

But let’s explore individual racism and, particularly, the shadow of individual racism. I say “shadow” because most would condemn racism and deny being racist themselves. In fact, most would say they don’t have a racist bone in their body.

But what if it’s not about bones?

What if it’s about succumbing to racist ideas, feelings, reactions and choices?

As Ibram Kendi has contended, being a racist “is not a fixed term. It’s not an identity, it’s not a tattoo—it is describing what a person is doing in the moment, and people change from moment to moment.”  Meaning the racism of today for most people is different than the racism of the civil war and slavery, or the era of the Jim Crow laws. As one black friend of mine put it, there’s more of an implicit bias than a functional racism at play in our world.

Shadow Racism

So let’s call it a shadow racism that can rear its head in anyone’s life.  And because it’s in the shadows, it needs to be brought into the light.

5 Examples of Shadow Racism:

  1. Employment.

    Let’s say you are an employer and you’ve solicited resumes. There are no pictures on them just their education and experience, accomplishments and credentials. You have four in front of you that have been vetted and are virtually identical in quality. You look at their names: Mitchell, April, Prince and Denada. You’re white. It’s obvious to you that two of these candidates, based on their names – Prince and Denada – are probably black. Mitchell and April – to your thinking – are almost assuredly white.

    Who are you going to call for the interview?

    Do you privately make an assessment of worth, value, capability or likability based on names—even though the resumes are the same?

  2. Dating and Marriage.

    You see a black man with a white woman on a date. Or even married. How do you viscerally feel about it? Good or bad, neutral or biased, positive or negative? I remember one white man telling me: “I just don’t like it. I just don’t like it.” This despite there being nothing wrong with interracial relationships or interracial marriage. In God’s eyes, it’s not an interracial thing at all. It’s just two human beings whom He created for relationship with Him and with each other.

    And lest we forget, when a white/black marriage took place in the Bible and was met with racism and prejudice, God stepped in and gave an immediate condemnation of that racism and prejudice. Drawing a blank? It was in relation to Moses marrying a Cushite, a people known for their dark-skinned features (cf. Numbers 12:1-11).

  3. Assumptions.

    Four black high school students were going door to door to raise money for their football team in Wynne, Arkansas. One minute they were laughing and talking to each other, and the next minute they were on the ground in a stranger’s front yard with their hands behind their backs, while a white woman with a handgun ordered them to stay put. Before she even went out with her gun, she had already called the police. The officer arrived, and he saw the woman holding a gun on the four boys lying on the ground. He had the children stand up, and they explained they were selling discount cards for their school athletic program. When she was asked why she pulled the gun on them, she said it was because all four boys were black and that area was white.

  4. Pseudo-Acceptance.

    Another way of demonstrating shadow racism is through pseudo-acceptance. As one woman from Africa said to me, “Racism is if you invite me to a party but don’t invite me to dance with you.” Meaning, not truly invite me in—into involvement, into engagement. As another woman and friend of mine once told me, it is as hurtful to be in a room as the only black person and be shut out or not engaged as it was when a white boy spit in her face when she was in the fourth grade because she was black.

  5. Family Life.

    One last area where shadow racism can manifest itself (though the list could sadly go beyond these five examples), is in our home life. What do your children hear you say? What do they see you do? How are you shaping their thinking, their perspectives? Does a viewpoint toward people of color come out as you drive, walk through a mall or watch the news?

I was told of a four-year-old in our children’s ministry who didn’t want a black volunteer to hug her because they were afraid the black would rub off. Now granted, that’s a four-year-old. And that dear volunteer just vowed to love that child even more—knowing they were four and didn’t know better. But apparently that was the first time that child had ever been touched by a black person.

Why is that?

A Public Religion Research Institute study found that in a 100-friend scenario, white people had just one black friend, one Hispanic friend and one Asian friend. The other 97 were white. Black people didn’t do much better. Out of 100 friends, they had 8 white friends, two Hispanic friends and no Asian friends.

All to say, racism can flow in all directions—not just whites toward blacks, but blacks toward whites, Hispanics toward Asians, whites toward Hispanics… there is no end to how it can manifest itself.

On this day when we celebrate the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr., I can think of no greater use of the holiday than to remind ourselves not simply of the theology of race, and not simply of the evil of racism,

… but how the shadow of racism can enter into any of our lives.

Sources

C.D. McConnell, “Racism,” Evangelical Dictionary of Theology (Baker).

Ibram X. Kendi, Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America.

Jacey Fortin, “Arkansas Woman Charged Over Holding Four Black Teenagers at Gunpoint,” The New York Times, August 16, 2019, read online.

Jemar Tisby, The Color of Compromise.

This article originally appeared here.

Why Christian Communities in Northeastern Syria May Soon Be Gone

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Since the first mission movements of the Early Church, Assyrian (Syriac) churches have never failed to maintain a confessional Christian presence in or near their original lands. If the current crisis facing northeastern Syria worsens, ancient Christian communities dating back to the Book of Acts might soon be deserted. The last remnants of this people group could be driven out of their homeland and their churches destroyed.

In the last few months, things have grown increasingly dangerous for those who remain in northeastern Syria. Following the abrupt removal of U.S. troops in October 2019, Turkish forces immediately resumed attacks in the region using soldiers, warplanes, and drone strikes. Though their primary targets are allegedly Kurdish forces, the reality is that Turkey has been attacking indiscriminately and recklessly leading to the deaths or serious injury of many Christians and civilians, including children. To add to the imminent danger, the temporary leave taken by U.S. forces allowed for the reemergence of ISIS in the areas where Syriac churches and their families remain.

Assyrian Christians in history and around the world

Assyrian Christians trace their ethnic roots back to the days of Abraham, and their Christian faith roots to the Early Church. As the gospel moved East during the first century, small Christian communities emerged quickly in ancient Assyria. As a result, for nearly two millennia now, Assyrian Christianity has maintained an indigenous presence in Iraq, Iran, Turkey, and Syria.

Assyrian Christians not only have some of the deepest roots in the history of the Church, they also worship in one of the most sacred languages. The congregations of the Assyrians are often called “Syriac” churches because they speak, pray, sing, and read in a modern form of ancient Syriac. Syriac is a subset of Aramaic, which was the language spoken by Jesus and many of the earliest Jewish-background believers.

As the Imperial Church became more formalized in the late Roman Empire, the Assyrians were often on the outside looking in. Syriac churches lacked representation in both Rome and Constantinople, which meant they did not play a significant role in either Western or Eastern Christendom.

Throughout the centuries that followed and up until now, Assyrian Christians have endured sustained periods of persecution and attempts of genocide, most recently in the last century from the Turks. As a result, they have much fewer members than in centuries past, even with the exponential growth in the world’s population.

The oldest form of Syriac Christianity, the Assyrian Church of the East, is today very small, with best estimates being between 300,000–400,000 members globally. Several other groups consider themselves Syriac Christians, including the Chaldeans, Jacobites, and even some Protestant/Evangelical strains. All combined, best estimates are that the adherents of this ancient form of confessional Christianity number somewhere around 4 million.

Since the beginning of the civil war in 2011, thousands of Assyrian Christians have fled northeastern Syria into surrounding countries. A similar exodus took place in Iraq a decade before, following the U.S withdrawal from that region. Some have even emigrated to Europe and the U.S., adding to the growing Assyrian Christian diaspora around the world.

The Western influence of these churches is steadily growing. In Chicago and its surrounding areas, for example, there are nearly 100,000 Assyrian Christians and several Syriac churches.

The migration of many Assyrians into the West does not reduce the immense historical and spiritual value of their original lands and traditions. Even those who no longer live in northeastern Syria still feel a sense of unity with the ancient body of Christ simply in knowing a presence remains in the places where their faith began.

Lecrae Confesses Abortion, Invites Others Into the Light

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As the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade draws near, we are reminded of how large and formidable the abortion industry has become in the United States. Planned Parenthood survives with a heavy dose of government funding, even as overall abortion numbers are down and seem to indicate the entire industry is diminishing.

The battle between life and choice is being fought one story at a time.

On one side is 25-year-old Emily Letts, who uploaded to YouTube, as a “positive” story, what she claims is her abortion procedure (the actual procedure is shielded from view and the authenticity of Letts’ video remains in question). It became an overnight viral phenomenon, spawning websites dedicated to gathering up more stories from women who seem to harbor no regrets for their choice, with the intent of alleviating the private shame.

On the other side are those who know such deep guilt can only be relieved by the open confession of sin, a story Lecrae Moore lived out firsthand, and a message he’s now willing to share. It was honesty that opened the door of healing for the 35-year-old Grammy Award winning hip-hop artist who has come forward to admit he advocated for the destruction of his own child in 2002.

Good, Bad, Ugly

Lecrae put his story in the public spotlight voluntarily, and in a big way, in the track “Good, Bad, Ugly” from Anomaly (2014), an album which debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart. The first verse recounts the true story of his sinful relationship with a past girlfriend:

I remember back in ’02
I was in school and actin’ a fool
My soul got saved, my debt had been paid
But still I kept running off with my crew
Sex on my brain, and death in my veins
I had a main thing, we stayed up ‘til 2 (Smokin!)
Waking and baking we naked, my body was loving it
Soul was hating it,
And time and time after time, our bodies were close
The girl was so fine
We heard a heart beat that wasn’t hers or mine
The miracle of life had started inside
Ignored the warning signs
Suppressed that truth I felt inside
I was just having fun with this, I’m too young for this
I’m thinking me, myself, and I
Should I sacrifice this life to keep my vanity and live nice?
And she loves and trusts me so much that whatever I say, she’d probably oblige
But I was too selfish with my time
Scared my dreams were not gonna survive
So I dropped her off at that clinic
That day a part of us died

The arc of the story lands hard on the last line: “a part of us died.” Lecrae openly takes public responsibility for his sin, and he recently took time in Atlanta to share his story with John Piper and John Ensor, the president of Passion Life Ministries.

Watch Video Here.

“I was a young man trying to figure out what I was going to do with life,” Lecrae said in the roundtable discussion. “I hadn’t finished school. I had met the Lord, but I was still trying to get my footing in terms of walking with Jesus. There was so much that happened. Literally, in the middle of that relationship, I was feeling the conviction. I felt like God was giving me opportunities to escape. We were doing drugs and engaged in sexual activity consistently.”

7 Mistakes to Avoid When Starting a New Ministry

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Earlier, I shared ten things we’ve learned in planting and hope to practice in our second plant.  Today, I want to share seven mistakes that we made and hope to avoid the second time around.

1. Hiring people too fast.   We grew pretty quickly during our first year, and we defaulted to hiring staff instead of developing volunteers.  While your church does need an intentional staffing strategy, I didn’t spend enough time developing volunteers to lead ministry.  Hiring people is great, but I let it become the easy way out, and it hurt us in some cases.

2. Launching things too soon.  Growth can trick you into thinking this way, but I didn’t stick to my guns about starting new things.  I think we launched groups and student ministry too soon.  We started some programs and ministries that worked well when we were small and nimble but were not sustainable as we got larger.

3. Trying to be cool for the sake of being cool.
  In retrospect, I chose a few series and advertising campaigns that got people to church but created controversy for the sake of controversy.  There’s nothing wrong with being cool, but trying to be cool isn’t cool.

4.  Arguing with critics.
  Early on, I engaged with too many critics.  Whether on a now-defunct local message board or bloggers who were picking apart sermons, I should have kept my mouth shut and let God be my defender.  I’m proud to say that I do a better job of this now and don’t care at all what angry, anonymous people on message boards have to say.

5.  Not involving my wife as much as I could have.
  I let having two young kids at home keep my wife out of some things, and this was a mistake.  If you’re a church planter with children, I recommend that you figure out how to pay for a babysitter so your wife can participate in some meetings and conversations.  Not only will she help, she will feel more included.

6. Basing financial decisions off poorly-researched projections.
  When we renovated and moved into the House of Rock, I didn’t do enough homework on how much renovations would truly cost.  We had to go back to our people and tweak our fund raising campaigns, and that’s never good.  It’s better to take the time and spend some money in order to get accurate financial projections and timetables.

7.  Not working with other local churches as much as we could have. 
We have a bit of a reputation for being a rogue, and this is not always a good thing.  I really do like and appreciate other churches in our area, but I wasn’t intentional enough in communicating that early on.

These are just some of the mistakes we made and things I’ll try to avoid the next time around.  Feel free to leave a comment.  

3 Books Every Ministry Leader Should Read

At the end of each year I look forward to hearing what books people enjoyed over the past 12 months. My good friend Jeff Purswell posted a great list for pastors at the Sovereign Grace website, although anyone could benefit from them. I also appreciated these lists from Kevin DeYoung and Tony Reinke.

I read fewer books than I had hoped to in 2014, but these three stood out.

1. Job: The Wisdom of the Cross—Christopher Ash

In recent years I’ve intentionally read through Job five or six times each year, making notes as I go. I’ve learned a great deal about suffering, about God’s sovereignty and how not to counsel those who are going through difficult times. But this commentary, recommended to me by C.J. Mahaney, shed light on passages I didn’t even know were dark!

Three things I most appreciated about this book. First, Ash walks through every verse in a thoughtful, contextually sensitive manner. He’s done the hard work of making connections you’d easily miss, while staying on firm exegetical ground. He also helps us see where Job got it right and where he got it wrong. I especially appreciated his explanation of Leviathan as the worst Satan can throw at us. Second, he writes pastorally, exposing the misguided comfort of Job’s counselors and pointing us to true, God-honoring wisdom.

Third, and most importantly, Ash consistently helps us see how Job prefigures Christ, the truly innocent sufferer. I don’t think I saw before how important the book of Job is to the story of redemption. A few favorite quotes:

We need to be on the lookout not only for the wrong teaching Bible teachers give but also for vital biblical ingredients they habitually omit. p. 94

If there is no undeserved suffering, there can be no redemptive suffering, no sacrificial substitutionary suffering. And if there is no substitutionary suffering, there can be no grace. p. 138

When we listen to Job’s speeches, we need to bear in mind the distinction between Job’s perception and Job’s heart. … We will hear Job say some things that are plain wrong, and yet we hear him say them from a heart that is deeply right. p. 139

It is utterly stupid, and deeply hurtful, to suppose that we can deduce from someone’s situation in this age the true state of his or her heart. A bad person may enjoy a good life, and a good person may suffer the pain of a bad life. Only the end will reveal the heart. p. 234

There is not one inch of strange wildness that lies outside the counsel of God. p. 396

2. Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy With God—Timothy Keller

I actually finished this book in 2015, but wanted to include it. Reading books on prayer is like reading cookbooks. You might be fascinated by what you read, but you don’t know how good the book is until you actually follow the directions.

Reading Keller’s book both motivated and equipped me to press into prayer more thoughtfully and biblically. It’s changing the way I pray. Here’s what I wrote on my Amazon review:

I’ve read numerous books on prayer through the years, seeking to inspire a greater passion, consistency and depth in my own prayer life. This is without question one of the best I’ve read. It is at once insightful, motivating and practical. One of the things that makes Keller so helpful is his breadth of reading which gives clarity, depth and variety to his own thoughts. Most of all, he constantly roots practical application in the gospel and Scripture, avoiding the twin errors of experiential mysticism and dry orthodoxy.

Youth Ministry Essentials: 5 Truths About Bible Study Curriculum

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I’ve been designing, writing, and producing Bible Study curriculum for teenagers in some form for close to 15 years. It’s been my passion since day 1, but since 2003 it’s also been my full-time occupation. I’ve also taught curriculum weekly (to adults and teenagers) for about the same amount of time.

If you have a second, take a look at what we’ve done so far . . .

I don’t know it all, and I have a ton to still learn. But here are five truths about Bible Study curriculum I thought I’d pass along. (And just to clarify, when I say curriculum, I am referring to curriculum you purchase, not the kind you would write yourself.)

1. All Curriculum Needs Tweaking

There’s no perfect curriculum . . . not even ym360′s. :)   Few lessons, “as is,” straight out of the box, perfectly meet the spiritual needs of your students or capture the personality of your group. You know why? The man or woman who wrote it doesn’t know your teenagers. They don’t know your structure. They don’t know what resources you have access to and which ones you don’t, and so on.

What does this mean? Two things . . .

  • You must create a culture where it’s expected that your teachers will invest the time in adjusting lessons. Help your teachers see that this expectation is part of their role.
  • As you choose curriculum, you might want to consider how much time you’ll need to spend tweaking the lessons. Look at samples. If you think you’ll have to spend more than a couple hours a week tweaking a lesson, you might want to consider another curriculum. Just a thought . . .

 

2. Curriculum Isn’t For Everyone

If your spiritual gifts are in the writing, teaching, and speaking mode, then you might enjoy writing your own curriculum. If you have the time and the chops, you’ll find nothing but a supportive voice here. If this describes you, you might find your curriculum needs on the lesser end of the spectrum.

3. Except That Everyone Can Benefit From Curriculum

There is good reason to plug in Bible Study curriculum into your teaching plan, even if you are a “write your own stuff” guy or gal. First, it’s nice to have a break every once in a while. Second, it’s a change of voice/perspective. Your students may benefit from a different viewpoint every now and again. Third, there may be seasonal responsibilities that take more of your time. Purchasing Bible Study curriculum for a 4 or 6 week emphasis may buy you time to plan that DNow or Weekend Retreat, or mission project.

4. Put ”Bells and Whistles” In Their Proper Place

At ym360, we have a unique mix of product features on our studies. Video, Parent Pages, Facebook Devotions, and so on. And there are other providers who can say the same thing: video delivered, customizable lessons, etc. These bells and whistles are great. They really can help you build a strong environment around your time of study. But put them in their proper place (yes, even ours!). The main reason you should choose a curriculum is for how it treats the actual teaching of the Bible. Is the lesson plan solid? Is the curriculum Bible centered? Does it teach sound, inductive Bible Study? And does it put a focus on actually helping students apply what they are learning?

Bells and whistles are awesome. But if the lesson plan isn’t solid, bells and whistles are merely a distraction.

5. Free Is Fine, But Strategy Rules

Like many other curriculum providers, we regularly offer free stuff. We work hard to make sure our free lessons and devotions are solid. And we are pumped that so many of you take advantage of them. But here’s the deal. If you’re living off the next free lesson, you’re really depriving your students of learning God’s Word in a planned out, well ordered structure. Free lessons are great, especially seasonal ones. But, you need a strategy for teaching students God’s Word. Your strategy can be flexible enough to include the occasional free lesson. But if you’re going from one freebie to another, it’s going to be really challenging for your students to grasp any real big-picture understanding of the Bible.


What are you thoughts when it comes to choosing curriculum?

…Just the Custodian

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Ran across a gem of an article on my flight back from Portland last week.  It’s from the Dec/Jan issue of Fast Company and it’s about the Italian designer, Brunello Cucinelli and the good he’s doing both locally and globally.

For example, Cucinelli employs the majority of his small Italian village of around 500 people, keeps local button manufacturers and leather and cashmere providers in business, and he gives 20% of his profits to humanitarian efforts.  He’s also restored a medieval castle, built a community theater, and he’s renovating a children’s park on New York’s Bleecker Street.

And I love the reason why.  Check out Cucinelli’s quote from the article:

“I want to embellish the world around me, and this way, my employees feel part of a project that won’t last just three or five years, but 500 or 1,000 years,” Cucinelli says. “I don’t feel like the owner of Solomeo; I am just the custodian.”

What a powerful statement:

“I don’t feel like the owner of Solomeo; I am just the custodian.”

I. am. just. the. custodian.

Isn’t that our calling?  Isn’t that the job God tasked humanity with in the very beginning?  It was only when we saw ourselves as owners that we got in trouble. There’s a reason for that.

May we embrace our calling as custodians of everything.  Our money.  Our jobs.  Our businesses.  Our art.  Our words.  Our families. Our neighborhoods.  Our cities.  Our planet.

Why You Can’t Hear How You Really Sound (and Why It Matters)

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Have you ever heard yourself speak on an audio recording and said, “Wow! I didn’t know I sounded like that?” If you have, you are not alone. It’s a brain thing. We actually can’t hear our voice and tone the way it actually sounds. [That must be why some people with really bad voices think they can sing and try out for American Idol.] This simple insight is an often overlooked communication key that I discuss below.

Just above your ear lies a part of the brain called the superior temporal sulcus (STS). In a baby up to four months old the STS attends to all sounds. Yet at seven months the STS triggers attention only from human voices. And when emotion accompanies that voice, it really gets activated. God created that part of our brain to help us understand language and read tone and meaning.

We Hear Our Voice Different Than Those Who Hear Us

However, when we speak, the STS actually turns off. In other words, we don’t hear our voice the same way others hear our voice. That’s the reason we’re surprised at how we sound when we hear an audio recording of it. Some scientists believe this happens because instead of listening to our voice, we listen to our thoughts. And since the brain can’t pay focused attention to more than one thing at a time, it defaults to listening to our self-talk.

So how is this an overlooked key to communication?

Because tone matters greatly when we communicate. One of the world’s leaders in communication, Dr. Albert Mehrabian, believes that tone contributes 38% to spoken communication.

So if tone matters that much, we must pay attention to it, especially if we are leaders.
How can we match our tone to our intended message? Consider these ideas.

  • Ask someone who will tell you the truth of how your tone comes across when you speak. Is it harsh, condemning, condescending, weak, insecure, positive, upbeat, etc.
  • Occasionally record yourself in a conversation and listen to the recording right afterward. Ask yourself if your tone matched your intended message.
  • If a conflict around miscommunication arises with you and your spouse or someone you work with, ask the other person if your tone influenced their perception. If you see patterns in miscommunication, you may find that your tone is the culprit.
  • Sloooooow down when you speak. Sometimes we can appear pushy when we talk fast when we’re actually trying to economize time. Space and silence between sentences is OK sometimes.
  • Smile when you talk. Research has confirmed that smiling, even when forced, can reduce stress and make us feel happier. And happier people usually convey happier tones.

So the next time you’re in a conversation, try one or two of these ideas and see what happens. Your STS will be glad you did.

What has helped you improve your communication?

This article originally appeared here.

6 Key Questions to Ask of Your Sermon Before You Preach it

Why Porn Is Bad: I Don’t Like Women

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I grew up in the church all my life. With my dad being a pastor, I grew up knowing the evils of the lust of the eyes and the treachery of adultery. After high school, I worked with several mission organizations before attending Moody Bible Institute.

All that is to say, I was mildly shocked to read some of the comments on many of my recent posts.

There are people who DON’T think porn is bad?

I mean, I knew millions of people struggled with it but didn’t realize there were people who genuinely didn’t see anything wrong with it. I got comments telling me to mind my business, it’s not hurting anyone, and it’s just a natural part of life. One friend even told me that “there is no universe in which I don’t watch porn every day.”

As a good Christian boy, the argument is much easier to build. Simply pull from the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus declares, “If you even look at a woman lustfully, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart.” I wholeheartedly agree with Jesus. Because He’s Jesus. But some people see it differently.

There are plenty of great resources out there to describe the abuse women in pornography receive, its connections to sex trafficking and the years of recovery after escaping the industry. But with this post, I want to briefly share three ‘unscientific’ negative effects it has had on me as a viewer.

Porn distances me from my friends and family.

Porn is far more exciting than our normal, quiet, everyday lives. These hyper-beautiful, hyper-sexualized people are walking around and hooking up every couple minutes, and that simply does not happen in real life.

As a result, there have been many times I have felt far away and removed from those around me. Like I talked about before, porn curbed my emotions and made me apathetic to those dearest to me. I didn’t want this to happen, but it was the natural outcome of filling my mind with all these exaggerated scenes that were so much more exciting than real people in real life.

I would be in the same room as my friends, but my thoughts would be elsewhere.

The Affectionate Pastor

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In serious-minded biblical churches, pastors rightly value theological rigor, biblical worship, exegetical preaching, corporate prayer, the right administration of the sacraments and the exercise of church discipline. However, one thing that does not seem to get the same emphasis in such circles is affectionate pastoral ministry. I’m not referring to the quasi-liberal softness which poses as a counterfeit of true Spirit-wrought affection. What I have in mind is that example of the Apostle Paul, who modeled both zeal for orthodoxy and zeal for the people of God themselves. If there is one area in which I wish to grow, it is in this–an ever-increasing joyful and affectionate longing to be with and labor for the people of God.

In Religious Affections, Jonathan Edwards surveyed the Apostle Paul’s expressions of loving affection for the people of God and wrote,

“Paul represents himself, as overpowered by this holy affection, and as it were compelled by it to go forward in his service, through all difficulties and sufferings (2 Cor. 5:14–15). And his Epistles are full of expressions of an overflowing affection towards the people of Christ:

he speaks of his dear love to them (2 Cor. 12:19; Phil. 4:1; 2 Tim. 1:2). Of his abundant love (2 Cor. 2:4). And of his affectionate and tender love, as of a nurse towards her children, “But we were gentle among you; even as a nurse cherisheth her children; so being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us” (1 Thess. 2:7–8).

So also he speaks of his bowels of love (Phil. 1:8; Philem. ver. 12 and 20). So he speaks of his earnest care for others (2 Cor. 8:16), and of his bowels of pity or mercy towards them (Phil. 2:1), and of his concern for others, even to anguish of heart, “For out of much affliction, and anguish of heart, I wrote unto you, with many tears; not that ye should be grieved; but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you” (2 Cor. 2:4). He speaks of the great conflict of his soul for them (Col. 2:1).

He speaks of great and continual grief that he had in his heart from compassion to the Jews (Rom. 9:2). He speaks of his mouth’s being opened, and his heart enlarged towards Christians, “O ye Corinthians, our mouth is open unto you, our heart is enlarged”! (2 Cor. 6:11).

He often speaks of his affectionate and longing desires (1 Thess. 2:8; Rom. 1:11; Phil. 1:8 and ch. 4:1; 2 Tim. 1:4). The same Apostle is very often, in his Epistles, expressing the affection of joy (2 Cor. 1:12 and ch. 7:7 and ver. 9 and 16; Phil. 1:4, and ch. 2:1–2, and ch. 3:3; Col. 1:24; 1 Thess. 3:9).

He speaks of his rejoicing with great joy (Phil. 4:10; Philem. 1:7), of his joying and rejoicing (Phil. 2:1, 7), and of his rejoicing exceedingly (2 Cor. 7:13). And of his being filled with comfort, and being exceeding joyful (2 Cor. 7:4). He speaks of himself as always rejoicing (2 Cor. 6:10). So he speaks of the triumphs of his soul (2 Cor. 2:14). And of his glorying in tribulation (2 Thess. 1:4, and Rom. 5:3).

He also expresses the affection of hope; in Phil. 1:20, he speaks of his earnest expectation, and his hope. He likewise expresses an affection of godly jealousy (2 Cor. 11:2–3).”1

I naturally think of the image of the Shepherd with the sheep, when I read of Paul’s joyful affection for other believers. Though the sheep are often difficult, the Shepherd does everything to care for the sheep (John 10). Though they wander, he expends all of his time and energy seeking out the lost sheep (Matt. 18:10-15). He carries the wandering lamb home on his shoulders (Luke 15:5). In the image of the Shepherd and the sheep, we find an apt picture of the great affection that Christ has for His flock. What more fitting illustration could we have of the tenderness undershepherds of the Good Shepherd ought to have for the people of God? May God give all of His undershepherds such affectionate love and longing for the people of God.

1. Jonathan Edwards, Religious Affections, ed. John E. Smith and Harry S. Stout, Revised edition, vol. 2, The Works of Jonathan Edwards (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2009), 109–110.

This article originally appeared here.

10 Best Practices for Worship Sound Techs

Worship sound techs
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Perhaps no technical leader faces more challenges on any given Sunday morning than the sound tech. With demands from every side, opinions aplenty, an ear to the pastor (the real head sound tech), an ear to the worship leader/band and an ear to the Holy Spirit, this role requires a saint, a sound technician and a servant—all wrapped up in one. Gleaned from some of the most skilled and great-hearted worship sound techs I know, here are 10 Best Practices for Worship Sound Techs.

Worship is a dynamic environment in which God is meeting with people, and people are meeting with God. For that reason alone, the worship sound tech must take their place—with active attention—among the worship leadership influencers in the room. [Note: In the age of digital boards, some things have gotten easier when running sound. With the push of a button, levels can be set. If you’re on a digital board, some of the following technical elements may not apply.]

1. Ride the Faders (or, Never Set and Forget)

The worship environment is not a static environment, in which one can set all the levels then kick back in the booth. It is dynamic, and riding the faders as well as monitoring the congregation is a necessity for effective sound leadership. Imagine you are the conductor in an orchestra, and now that piano is highlighted as the band drops out, or a sweet violin solo now lifts from the music and is to stand out. Conduct, ride the faders and make your sound work a dynamic ministry. You can help the band create dynamics. This verse is true about sound and how it reinforces the message being shared: “The Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message” (Acts 10:44, NIV).

Great, dynamic sound leadership can greatly enhance the effective hearing of the message, sung, spoken, visually expressed or otherwise communicated.

2. Gain a Respect for Gain

Ever been in a hurry to get “sound done” and ignored getting all your gain levels right? Stop. Before everything gets going, set the right gain for each mic and instrument set. A friend of mine says, “I’ve seen gains change between shutdown on Saturday night and startup on Sunday, even though nothing has changed on stage. If you don’t get the gain right, you’ll be fighting the levels all through the service.”

This may mean showing up early, getting yourself together, and being ready to go when rehearsal or soundcheck starts. Hustling at the last minute causes us to miss things.

3. Serve the Pastor, the Worship Leader, the Musicians and the Congregation

There are no two ways around it: A worship sound tech must be a servant to all, carrying skill and technical ability in one hand, and a real, living relationship with Jesus in the other. That combination creates sound techs who are asking how they can serve better, rather than insecure leaders pushing to get their way because people are acting like they know better. I’ve always told my sound team over the years that the senior pastor is ultimately the lead sound tech, and then the lead worship leader (or someone they’ve assigned to oversee it). Why? At the end of the day, you and I will go home after the “event”—and the pastor (and the worship leader to some degree) will have to deal with the effects of the experience—church growth, church shrinkage, people’s connection or lack of connection with the church. If the pastor says, “Please turn that down,” or “Please turn that instrument up,” or “Please raise the volume and energy level in the room,” find a way to do it rather than resisting. It’s just good honor—and even if they’re wrong, it will come back as a blessing later.

Serve the musicians as to what they need, and then serve the dynamic in the congregation. Often musicians need training in “turning things down” in their monitors so that other elements stand out. Be a part of that training as able. You hold the reins on front of house; offer your best to see the best rise in the community.

4. Check Your Ego at the Door

Here’s the truth: People will look at you if anything is wrong with the sound. They just will. It takes a strong inner leader to carry that in a community. Technically oriented gift mixes, in my experience and that of many, can carry a subtle insecurity with them. When challenged or asked to “please turn that up,” or “turn that down,” or “give me more monitor” (things are harder when no one is saying “please” or “thank you”), it’s easy to react with ego. Lay it down before Jesus as you walk in the church doors each morning. Know that the Lord has your back, and the more like Jesus you are to the pastor, the band, etc.—the more it sweetens the entire worship experience everyone will have that day.

In fact, try this. Ask the pastor and worship leader, after you’ve done sound, “How was the sound? Is there anything you’d like me to change?” The first time, they will faint because you asked. The second, they’ll feel an open door exists for ongoing interaction. It’s wonderful.

Beloved Youth Pastor Died From Flu Complications

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A youth pastor died after succumbing to complications with the flu. Allison Williams, 36, of Reddington Christian Church in Seymour, Indiana passed away on January 20th after contracting the flu about a week earlier. A memorial service was held last night at the church where Williams served. 

“She was the best youth minister that I have ever had the privilege of working with. She was my colleague and my sister in Christ, but more than that she was my friend,” senior pastor Scott Brown said at her memorial service. Moreover, Brown said she acted more like an associate pastor than a youth minister and was “willing to do whatever was necessary for the body of Christ.”

According to a local news outlet, Williams’ mother believes the youth pastor contracted the flu while attending Tennessee Christian Teen Convention with her youth group. After the group returned home from the trip, Williams’ condition continued to decline. Brown and his wife checked on Williams over the weekend a couple times, but on Monday, Brown said he noticed she was worse. Eventually, Brown convinced Williams to let him drive her to the hospital. “I got her to the car, took her directly to the Seymour hospital and we weren’t there three minutes and she went into cardiac arrest,” Brown told reporters. “With going septic, that can happen so quickly, and the damage is done. The doctor said even if we had brought her in earlier, it wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Her passing has left me as numb as it has you,” Brown said at Williams’ memorial. Brown spoke about Williams’ deep faith in God, which didn’t waver despite the many health problems she experienced over the years. Four years ago, Williams had two strokes. Brown said she was greatly affected by the strokes and told him, “You need to find a new youth minister who isn’t broken.” Yet, Brown said she didn’t waver in her faith. She also experienced a series of eye problems and consequent surgeries, and still didn’t waver in her faith. 

Williams had a reputation for being loyal to the kids she served. “When I tell you she loved the kids, you guys know that is an understatement,” Brown said. She referred to the kids as “my kids.” Brown also commended those present from the youth group Williams oversaw, saying they respected her. Brown told the group they are “surrounded by adults who love and care about you deeply.” 

Brown said “It’s all right,” to grieve and ask why something like this happened, “as long as we don’t lose faith. Because our hope is never in people, it’s found in Jesus Christ.” Brown said he would miss her friendship and “the laughter we often shared in the office together.”

Williams’ brother, Nathan, shared stories about Allison’s relationship with her family. Nathan recalled Allison talking to her mother nearly every day. “She could talk to you, and you could talk to her,” he said, addressing his mother in the sanctuary. He also said that during college Allison’s father was her best friend. 

Nathan said that it is true that we suffer together, but in that suffering, we have each other. We are not alone. 

Williams served at the church for 11 years. She held a Bachelor’s Degree from Johnson Bible College. She leaves behind numerous friends and family and a youth group that will certainly miss her. 

Sex Only for Heterosexual Married Couples COE Affirms

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Now that heterosexual couples in England can enter into a civil partnership rather than marriage, the Church of England has affirmed its stance that sex should be reserved only for married heterosexual couples. In a document issued this week, the House of Bishops instructs clergy members not to “provide services of blessing” for civil partnerships.

“Sexual relationships outside heterosexual marriage are regarded as falling short of God’s purpose for human beings,” the statement notes. “For Christians, marriage—that is, the lifelong union between a man and a woman, contracted with the making of vows—remains the proper context for sexual activity.”

The document reiterates that people in civil partnerships—whether opposite-sex or same-sex—should remain abstinent. The Church of England bans same-same marriage, which the country legalized in 2013. Clergy are permitted to be in same-sex relationships, as long as they abstain from sex.

Church of England: ‘The nature of the commitment’ matters

The distinction between marriage and civil partnership, according to the bishops, is “the nature of the commitment that members of a couple choose to make to each other.” Civil partnerships come with “ambiguity,” the document notes, and the church affirms “the value of committed, sexually abstinent friendships.” It adds: “There is likely to be a range of circumstances in which people of the same sex or opposite sex choose to register a partnership, including some where there is no intention for the relationship to be expressed through sexual activity.”

The Rev. Dr. Malcolm Brown, the church’s director of mission and public affairs, explains: “Civil partnership is not the same as marriage, which is founded on the taking of solemn public vows and is recognized in the church’s teaching as the only proper context for sexual relationships. So, as with same-sex civil partnerships, there is no formal service or blessing but clergy will, as always, be encouraged to respond pastorally to couples wishing to formalize their relationship in this way.”

While affirming that “the church’s teaching on sexual ethics remains unchanged,” the bishops acknowledge they’re trying to “minister sensitively and pastorally to those Christians who conscientiously decide to order their lives differently.”

Homosexuality Debate Continues

As with other Christian denominations (including, most recently, the United Methodist Church), the Church of England has faced ongoing disagreements about LGBTQ issues. “Living in Love and Faith,” the institution’s large-scale study on human sexuality, will be released in early 2020.

Progressives say they’re saddened but not surprised by the document. “It will appear far from ‘pastoral’ to those it discusses and shows little evidence of the ‘radical new Christian inclusion’ that we have been promised,” says LGBTQ advocate Jayne Ozanne, a member of the church’s General Synod. “I look forward to the day when the Church of England sets its house in order, extends a proper welcome to all.”

Others expressed anger, saying the church is out of touch and driving away young people. One tweeted: “When Franklin Graham is cheering the bishops on they should know they have got things badly wrong.” Graham had tweeted: “I appreciate the church taking this strong stand with the Word of God, which is truth.”

In an opinion piece for the Washington Examiner, Kaylee McGhee says critics shouldn’t be shocked that the Church of England is…a church. It “still adheres to the Bible’s commandments on marriage as authoritative and infallible,” she writes. “It’s one thing if you want to disagree, but don’t denounce the Church of England for fulfilling its responsibility to its congregants and, more importantly, to its maker.”

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