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Counter-Cultural: Submit to God or Conform to Culture

communicating with the unchurched

Following Jesus is counter-cultural in every society, though often in different ways.

In some cultures, it’s the Scriptures’ teaching on marriage and sexuality that offends the culture. In others, it’s the emphasis on grace and generosity and giving away power. Sometimes it’s Jesus’ emphasis on the equality of all peoples as made alike in the image of God. Sometimes it’s God’s authority over his creation, defying our innate desire to be our own gods.

As I’ve heard it said, Jesus is an equal-opportunity offender. But he offends each society in unique ways.

One way to think about this struggle is through the biblical metaphor of “Babylon.” In Scripture, “Babylon” doesn’t just refer to an ancient Near Eastern city. It represents the spirit of defiance against God. The spirit of Babylon is alive in every nation on earth.

One of the great tragedies of the church in the West is how often and consistently we have conformed to Babylon.

Consider, for instance, slavery. I’m thankful to live during a time in which slavery seems unthinkably horrific. But historically, slavery has been alarmingly common. Nearly every culture in history has practiced slavery—because every culture in history was led by sinful, fallen people. And sinful people use power to exploit others. It is difficult to comprehend the moral horror of the tens of millions of people—people, those made in God’s image—who have been bought and sold as property.

But what makes the tragedy of slavery in the West particularly shameful is how Christianity was often used to defend it. The gospel undermines the very nature of slavery. To participate in slavery, Christian slave traders had to willfully blind their eyes to the faith they professed. Our gospel teaches that all people are equal because they are made in the image of God, that Jesus died for all equally alike, and that it is the responsibility of the strong to lift up the weak, not oppress them, like Jesus did for us.

And yet, we find the church in the West not only complicit in slavery but a defender and proponent of it. In conforming to Babylon, the church left a legacy of damage to both our society and the church. We still haven’t fully recovered.

It’s easy, in 2021, to look back and condemn slavery. Well, you think, we learned our lesson there. We’re not going to do that again. It’s much harder to see the church today making many of the same mistakes in new ways. Babylon is still around.

For example, as our society shifts its views on sexuality and gender, many in the church are following suit. A friend of mine who teaches in a local public school notes that 10 or 15 years ago, when he talked about same-sex behavior, the class was evenly split in opinion, usually along the line of kids who went to church and those who didn’t. Now, if he asks that question, only one or two students will say that homosexual behavior is outside of God’s will.

It’s not that he has fewer Christians in his class. It’s that fewer Christians are willing to say something about sexuality that is increasingly unpopular.

We shouldn’t congratulate ourselves because we are able to spot the societal sins of the past. Those are always the easiest to see. Instead, we must always ask ourselves where Babylon today is asking us to conform.

There’s a famous line attributed to the Reformer Martin Luther: “The courage of the soldier is tested in how well he stands where the battle is the hottest, not in how brave he postures himself where the battle has passed.”

We must be prepared to take our stand—not at those places where we are celebrated, but where doing so puts us most out of fashion with the culture around us. We must be prepared to be told that we are “on the wrong side of history.” How? By caring less about what side of history we’re on and more about which side of Jesus we’re on. By listening to his loving, offensive, counter-cultural rebuke to all of us.

This article originally appeared here.

VP Harris Applauded for Pro-Abortion Comments During The National Baptist Convention; SBC President Condemns Remarks

kamala harris
Screengrab via YouTube @The White House

On Thursday (Sept. 8), Vice President Kamala Harris addressed the 142nd Annual Session of The National Baptist Convention (NBC) in Houston, Texas.

According to their website, the NBC is the “nation’s oldest and largest African American religious convention” and consists of over 7.5 million members.

During the Vice President’s speech, which fell just short of 30 minutes, Harris shared that she learned about the importance of faith while growing up in 23rd Avenue Church of God in Oakland, California.

“Through the darkness, faith and our faith reminds us that we are not alone. Faith teaches us that a brighter future is always ahead and we must keep moving forward to realize that future. And to move forward, simply put, I also learned and we all know: Faith requires action,” Harris said.

Harris then shared that she was raised to live out her faith, citing examples of her parents pushing her in a stroller while marching for civil rights, as well as her own political endeavors.

RELATED: VP Kamala Harris: People of Faith Can Support Abortion Rights

Harris explained that faith is what guides her and President Joe Biden’s work every day, telling the NBC that they “know deeply, that when people of faith come together anything is possible—everything is possible—that is the power of faith.”

The 57-year-old vice president expressed her concern for the United States, saying that we currently live in “unsettled times,” referencing that “here in our own country, the powerful transfer of power in a way that is peaceful; the freedom of voters—voters—to decide elections; the freedom of women to make decisions about their future; even what constitutes the truth.”

Harris said, “These ideals now hang in the balance,” and called on faith leaders to help lead the country forward. “As we see gun violence threatening the safety of our communities and the sanctity of our houses of worship, our faith leaders have been among the leaders who demand a ban on assault weapons so that our children do not have to fear their lives as they sit at their desk or kneel in the pew.”

Harris then used words from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church of Corinth as a charge for NBC attenders to fight for abortion access: “Be on your guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16:13-14).”

RELATED: Kamala Harris’ Sunday Morning Address Draws Comparisons to Mike Pence’s SBC Speech

The crowd applauded Harris after she said, “As extremists work to take away the freedom of women to make decisions about their own bodies, faith leaders are taking a stand, knowing one does not have to abandon their faith or deeply held religious beliefs to agree that a woman should have the ability to make decisions about her own body and not have her government tell her what to do.”

Mississippi Pastor Accuses Joe Biden of Being Possessed by Satan During ‘Soul of America’ Speech

Shane Vaughn
Screengrab via YouTube @ Shane Vaughn

In a recent YouTube video, Mississippi pastor Shane Vaughn argued that President Joe Biden was possessed by Satan during his “The Battle for the Soul of America” speech on September 1. In that speech, Biden spoke strongly against those who continue to deny the results of the 2020 presidential election, urging Americans to stand for democracy. 

Vaughn has become increasingly well known among certain segments of the online evangelical community for his Trump-related conspiracy theories, as well as his denunciations of pandemic safety measures and mandates. He serves as pastor of First Harvest Ministries in Waveland, Mississippi, and posts video content online in a persona he has named “Professor Toto.”

The speech Biden gave at Independence Hall in Philadelphia has been controversial, particularly among Republicans who felt personally slighted by the president’s words—including Vaughn. 

RELATED: Meet Shane Vaughn, Mississippi Pastor and Star of Viral ‘if Trump does not concede’ Video

During the speech, Biden said, “Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic.” As he spoke, Biden stood against a deep red backdrop and was flanked by two Marines. 

“Something hit [Biden] when he got up there. I know what that something was: the power of Satan himself,” Vaughn said in his video. “Just like Senator Palpatine in Star Wars. He can barely walk until Satan touches him, and then he becomes this rough and tough—but he’s a coward without Satan’s power.”

Vaughn continued, “When he came there, the drugs kicked in, and he delivered a commanding speech, oh yes, by his standards. He started off real hoarse, but like a pro, he managed to get over it, fumbled over the first few words, and then Satan took over.”

“Joe-bama spent weeks preparing this speech and the background. This is something that was set up by Satan himself,” Vaughn said, apparently making simultaneous accusations that former president Barack Obama exerts control over the Biden administration and that Obama is himself a demonic figure. 

Since the “Soul for America” speech, President Biden has walked back some of his more harsh comments, and the White House has continued to contend that the speech was not divisive.

RELATED: ‘We Will Have Two Presidents’: MS Pastor Predicts Trump Will ‘Take Back Over the Government’

“I don’t consider any Trump supporter a threat to the country,” Biden said one day after the speech. “I do think anyone who calls for the use of violence, fails to condemn violence when it’s used, refuses to acknowledge when an election has been won, insists upon changing the way in which the rules—you count votes—that is a threat to democracy.”

Ohio Pastor Faces Domestic Violence Charges for Allegedly Threatening His Wife

charles ross
New Prospect Baptist Church in Toledo, Ohio. Source: Google Maps

An Ohio pastor has been charged with aggravated menacing and domestic violence after allegedly threatening his wife with a loaded gun. The Rev. Charles Ross, pastor of New Prospect Baptist Church in Toledo, has pleaded not guilty. He is due back in court on September 26 for a pre-trial hearing.

Charles Ross’ Wife Feared for Her Safety

Yolonda Ross called police for assistance in the early hours of Sunday, September 4, saying her husband loaded a firearm in their home and threatened to kill her. According to court records, Charles Ross caused “the belief of serious physical harm or imminent death to his live-in wife and mother of his children when he loaded a firearm and stated, ‘Is it going to end?’ while he held the firearm in front of the victim.”

During his initial court appearance on September 6, Pastor Ross was fingerprinted and released on his own recognizance. A judge ordered him to stay away from his wife. The Rosses have three children.

A relative of Yolonda Ross says the pastor should no longer lead his congregation. “I’m the one that went up and [talked] to the deacons,” says the family member, who requested anonymity. “You’re supposed to protect [the woman], not cause harm to her. You’re threatening to harm. That’s a problem.”

Although the relative admits “we all make mistakes,” he adds, “there’s no way it should be where you can do this and then lie to people saying you didn’t do it. It’s unacceptable.”

New Prospect has not responded to requests for comment or addressed whether Ross will remain as its pastor. The church’s social media pages have been disabled. On YouTube, the congregation describes itself as a family-oriented ministry that aims to change lives, heal people, and strengthen families.

Addressing a Surge in Domestic Violence

As Church Leaders has reported, domestic violence has increased in the past couple of years, partly due to the stress of pandemic-related isolation. An increasing number of churches have begun addressing the problem from the pulpit and offering resources for abuse victims.

Joanna Berry of the South Texas Children’s Home Ministries tells Baptist Press: “From the pulpit, a pastor can present how women should be treated, using many examples, including Jesus.” In addition, she says, churches can share survivors’ stories, provide counseling services or recommendations, and offer resources “for respite and healing, keeping in mind that most women will not have financial resources to pay for this.”

RELATED: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb: How Pastors Can Stay in Their Lanes While Helping Survivors of Abuse

Pastor and Former Atlanta Official Gets 14 Years in Corruption Case

Mitzi Bickers
FILE - Rev. Mitzi Bickers walks at the Richard B. Russell Federal Building after her first appearance in federal court on April 5, 2018, in Atlanta. Bickers, a pastor, political operative and former high-ranking Atlanta city official, was sentenced Thursday, Sept. 8, 2022, to serve 14 years in prison after a jury found her guilty of charges stemming from a long-running federal investigation into corruption at City Hall. (Hyosub Shin/Atlanta Journal Constitution via AP, File)

ATLANTA (AP) — A pastor, political operative and former high-ranking Atlanta city official was sentenced Thursday to 14 years in prison after a jury found her guilty of charges stemming from a long-running federal investigation into corruption at City Hall.

U.S. District Judge Steve Jones told Mitzi Bickers that the evidence showed that she was involved in “a deliberate, calculated plan to cheat” the taxpayers of Atlanta over a number of years. In addition to the prison time, he ordered Bickers to pay nearly $3 million in restitution to the city and to serve three years of supervised release once she’s out.

Bickers, 56, was the first person to go to trial in the investigation into corruption during the administration of former Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed. She helped Reed win election and then worked as his director of human services for several years. Prosecutors said she used her influence to funnel roughly $17 million in business to city contractors Elvin “E.R.” Mitchell Jr. and Charles P. Richards Jr. in exchange for more than $2.9 million in bribes for herself and others.

A jury in March found Bickers guilty on charges including money laundering, wire fraud and conspiracy to commit bribery.

Prosecutors had asked Jones to sentence Bickers to serve 17 and a half years in prison. Her lawyers asked for a much lower sentence, pointing to the five years that Mitchell got and the two years Richards got.

Bickers told the judge that what prosecutors said about her was a “mischaracterization.”

“I pray and believe that God is not through with this situation and that you, sir, will see beyond this awful picture that has been painted,” she said.

Her mother, Ethel Bickers, said in court that her daughter “has been the glue that keeps our family and our church together” and that “her absence from the community would be a great loss.”

Bickers’ father served alongside Martin Luther King Jr. in the civil rights movement and founded Emmanuel Baptist Church next to an Atlanta housing project, according to a court filing. When her father died in 1998, she took over as pastor of the church.

She also was elected to the Atlanta Board of Education at 26 and held the position for a decade. And she was an effective political operative known for getting voters to turn out.

Defense attorney Drew Findling said prosecutors previously offered to recommend a five-year sentence if she took a plea deal and that she was being punished for going to trial. He has said they plan to appeal.

Prosecutor Jeff Davis said cases like this are difficult because “you have to try and balance an otherwise meaningful and productive life against egregious criminal conduct.” Bickers used the formidable skills that made her so effective in her honest pursuits to commit crimes, he said.

J.D. Greear Addresses Listing Pronouns, Clarifies 2019 Comments on Sexual Sin

j.d. greear
J.D. Greear delivers the message, "How the Fall Affects Us All" on January 27, 2019. Screenshot from YouTube / @Summit RDU

In the latest episode of his “Ask Me Anything” podcast, former Southern Baptist Convention president J.D. Greear elaborates on the controversy of listing one’s pronouns. The pastor of The Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina, addressed the topic back in November 2019. But since then, he says, his thinking has “crystallized” and even “matured.”

Greear also apologizes for “any confusion” caused by his word choice about sexual sins during a January 2019 sermon.

J.D. Greear on Pronouns: ‘There Can Be No Ambiguity in Our Testimony’

While discussing pronouns in 2019, Greear used phrases such as “generosity of spirit” (citing Andrew Walker) and “pronoun hospitality” (citing Preston Sprinkle). Now he clarifies that Christians must “be honest about what the Bible says,” noting, “There can be no ambiguity in our testimony to the world.” Yet believers must balance our defense of truth with our call to “win people” to faith, he adds.

If someone transitions to another gender and wants to switch pronouns, should Christians comply? In response, Greear uses a phrase from Walker: “The answer to that question begins and ends with ‘no.’” He also cites 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1, saying the issue is “non-negotiable.”

Dynamics at play in the pronoun debate include truth, relationships, and balancing how to “fight the battle at the right location,” Greear says. If you use someone’s preferred pronouns during a conversation, he adds, that isn’t necessarily “capitulation or compromise of truth.” But you shouldn’t do that “in a way that implies acceptance or affirmation, even for a second.” One solution, he says, is to use the person’s name, rather than pronouns, even though that can become awkward.

A listener asks Greear how to respond to an increasingly hostile employer who wants people to list pronouns on nametags. He says even though listing his own pronouns as he/him would be “a true statement,” he’d resist doing so “because I don’t want to normalize the gender confusion or recognize this as a legitimate question.” If a job or government requires you to list pronouns, Greear says, “you’d have to discern what is best for witness and truth and your calling to be somewhere.”

‘I Regret the Word Choice,’ J.D. Greear Says of Controversial Sermon

In a 2019 sermon titled “How the Fall Affects Us All,” Greear used a “comparison by analogy” that he says got taken out of context. About Romans 1:24-32, he said, “In comparison to how Jesus talks about the sins of religious pride and greed, it’s as if God whispers about sexual sin while he screams about pride and greed.”

Eminem, DJ Khaled Reach Number 1 on Billboard Christian Song Chart

Eminem
Left: DoD News Features, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons; Right: Meghan Roberts, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Marshall Mathers, better known by his stage name Eminem, achieved an accolade this week that few would have expected: he was featured on a song that debuted at number one on Billboard’s “Hot Christian Songs” chart.

The song was DJ Khaled’s “Use this Gospel (Remix),” which was released on August 26 as part of Khaled’s new album “God Did.” The song originally appeared on Kanye West’s “Jesus is King” album in 2019. 

This is the first time that Eminem and DJ Khaled have reached the number one spot on the “Hot Christian Songs” list. It is West’s fifth time. Billboard announced the achievement via Twitter on September 7. 

RELATED: ‘Ye of Little Faith?’ Satanic Musician Makes Appearance at West’s Sunday Service

For DJ Khaled and Eminem to reach number one success in a Christian music category is unexpected, as Khaled adheres to the Muslim faith, and Eminem is well known for his poetically creative but notably vulgar brand of rapping. He has often been criticized by parents and faith groups for writing and performing lyrics that glorify violence and drug use. 

Eminem’s lyrics were even discussed among congressional representatives after he won his first Grammy Award in 2001. 

“When you hear the words about raping your mother or killing your mother, I think that the industry should be embarrassed that that’s award-winning entertainment,” said then representative for Wyoming Barbara Cubin at the time.

Nevertheless, Eminem said in a 2010 interview with “60 Minutes” that he doesn’t allow swearing in his home, adding, “I’m a parent; I have daughters.”

Eminem’s verse on “Use This Gospel” has distinctly Christian themes, as he refers to Jesus as his “shepherd” and says that his “weapon is prayer.”

RELATED: Eminem Raps About Jesus on DJ Khaled’s Remix of Kanye West’s ‘Use This Gospel’

“Today’s the day that I put all of my trust and faith in You, Father,” Eminem raps in the song. 

Elizabeth II, Longest To Rule Britain and Church of England, Dies at 96

Elizabeth II
The official portrait of Queen Elizabeth II in 2011 as the Australian sovereign. Photo courtesy of Queensland/Wikipedia/Creative Commons

LONDON (RNS) — Elizabeth II of England, Britain’s longest-serving monarch and official head of the Church of England, died Thursday (Sept. 8) at Balmoral Castle in Scotland at age 96. She came to the throne in 1952 but had dedicated her life to service of her nation six years earlier, as a 21-year-old princess, saying, “God help me to make good my vow.”

When Elizabeth was crowned, following her father, George VI, Britain was still recovering from World War II and its heavy bombing campaigns; Winston Churchill was prime minister and the country still had an empire. The young queen’s coronation suggested a new era — as the millions of television sets purchased to watch the live broadcast of the ceremony from London’s Westminster Abbey signaled.

But the coronation itself was steeped in tradition and confirmed the intertwining of the monarchy and religion. The more-than-1,000-year-old ceremony involves the anointing of the monarch, who commits himself or herself to the people through sacred promises.

FILE - This is a June. 2, 1953 file photo of Britain's Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, as they wave to supporters from the balcony at Buckingham Palace, following her coronation at Westminster Abbey. London. (AP Photo/Leslie Priest, File)

This is a June 2, 1953, file photo of Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip as they wave to supporters from the balcony at Buckingham Palace after her coronation at Westminster Abbey, London. (AP Photo/Leslie Priest, File)

One of those, to uphold the Protestant religion, is also a reminder of the religious divisions of the nearer past.

The queen’s two titles of Defender of the Faith and Supreme Governor of the Church of England, given to her at her accession, also owe their existence to Reformation history. The first was first bestowed on Henry VIII by a grateful pope for the king’s rebuttal of the teachings of Martin Luther. Henry defiantly held onto it even after breaking with Rome to declare himself head of the new Church of England.

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II passes the choir as she leaves after attending the Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey in London, Monday, March 14, 2016. Organised by the Royal Commonwealth Society, the service is the largest annual inter-faith gathering in the United Kingdom. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth)

Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II passes the choir as she leaves after attending the Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey in London, March 14, 2016. Organized by the Royal Commonwealth Society, the service is the largest annual interfaith gathering in the United Kingdom. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth)

His daughter, the first Elizabeth, dubbed herself Supreme Governor of the Church of England, saying Jesus Christ was its head. To this day, the British monarch retains constitutional authority in the established church but does not govern it. The modern Elizabeth left that to the bishops, although she addressed general synods and maintained a role as a listener and guide to her primate, the Archbishop of Canterbury.

On Thursday, Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby released a statement noting the “signs of a deeply rooted Christian faith” in the queen’s life: her courage even as she mourned her husband, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, who died in April 2021; her reminders in the darkest days of the COVID-19 pandemic that darkness cannot overcome light; her service to “her people and her God.”

“As a faithful Christian disciple, and also Supreme Governor of the Church of England, she lived out her faith every day of her life. Her trust in God and profound love for God was foundational in how she led her life – hour by hour, day by day,” Welby wrote.

While Defender of the Faith has been an inherited title and little more, Elizabeth II embraced it and in recent years made it her own, speaking very openly about her faith and explaining how it provided the framework of her life.

She did this mostly through her annual Christmas message, a tradition begun by her grandfather, George V, in 1932, and continued by her father. Her early Christmas Day broadcasts were platitudinous — the holidays as an occasion for family was a frequent theme. In 2000, however, she spoke of the millennium as the 2,000-year anniversary of the birth of Jesus Christ, “who was destined to change the course of our history.”

She went on to speak very personally and frankly about her faith: “For me the teachings of Christ and my own personal accountability before God provide a framework in which I try to lead my life. I, like so many of you, have drawn great comfort in difficult times from Christ’s words and example.” Similar sentiments have been aired at Christmas ever since.

State of Bible: Gen Z Leads in Active Evangelism, Desire to Share Faith

gen z
Photo by Zana Latif (via Unsplash)

PHILADELPHIA (BP) – Gen Z adults, those 25 and under, match elders in a desire to share their faith, and lead all ages in their openness to spiritual conversations, the American Bible Society (ABS) said Sept. 8 in releasing its latest chapter of the 2022 State of the Bible.

More than half, 54 percent, of Gen Z and elders expressed a desire to share their faith with others, and 58 percent of Gen Z engaged in individual spiritual conversations with three or more persons in the past year, more than any other age group studied. The ABS defines elders as age 76 and older.

“We asked a range of questions with different phrasing – sharing faith, having spiritual conversations, talking about the message of the Bible,” ABS said of its survey. “The Bible itself expresses the work of evangelism in various ways (preaching, reconciling, conversing, answering), so we felt comfortable approaching the subject in different ways.”

The findings are a good report for Gen Z, ABS said, in contrast to the previous release from the 2022 report placing a large percentage of Gen Z among committed Christians who don’t attend church at least once monthly.

“We’re especially encouraged by Gen Z. Our last chapter included some causes for worry, but here we see a desire for faith-sharing among Scripture-engaged young people,” ABS said in releasing the report’s sixth chapter, focused on evangelism. “We also see signs of a greater openness to spiritual conversations in the Gen Z culture.

“As with many other factors in State of the Bible, evangelism is strongly associated with Scripture engagement and church attendance. Those who are committed to the Bible and the church are far more likely to be committed to sharing their faith.”

Factors that likely influence Gen Z’s Gospel sharing, ABS said, are changes in American culture that have made the Gospel “genuinely new” to Gen Z. American culture is “less overtly Christianized,” and methods of evangelism have adjusted to include Christian music, films, novels, streaming television and internet memes.

Among other generations, 45 percent of millennials and Gen X, and 50 percent of boomers said they wanted to share their faith. When it came to actually sharing their faith with others, 54 percent of boomers said they shared their faith with at least three people in the past year, the age category ranking closest to Gen Z. Among others, 52 percent millennials, 51 percent of Gen X and 45 percent of elders shared their faith with at least three others.

“Are we seeing a generational shift in openness to spiritual matters?” ABS asked. “Where previous generations learned to avoid religious talk, our findings suggest that Gen Z is breaking those barriers.”

Feeling inadequate in social interactions (19 percent), a lack of knowledge of faith issues (15 percent) and fear of what others will think of them (12 percent) rank as the top three obstacles to evangelism among Scripture-engaged Christians of all ages. Gen Z described their top obstacles as a lack of knowledge of faith issues (31 percent), guilt about inconsistencies in their own lives (22 percent), and being unsure about their own faith (19 percent).

Missouri Pastor’s Wife Dies in Auto Crash

heather polk
Heather Polk hugs a child while on a recent medical missions trip to Honduras. Photo from Facebook

NEW MADRID, Mo. (BP) – Heather Polk, a nurse practitioner who used her expertise on medical mission trips, died Sept. 7 in a two-car collision as she returned home from work.

Polk’s husband, Jeff, is pastor of New Madrid Baptist Church.

The accident occurred at the junction of highway 61 and I-55 in New Madrid. A 19-year-old driver in a 2012 Chevrolet Cruz failed to yield and collided with Polk’s 2012 Mazda as she returned from her shift in Dexter, Mo. Polk was pronounced dead at the scene.

Josh Boley, pastor of First Baptist Church in Chaffee, Mo., recounted Polk’s determination and work toward extra training for medical mission trips. Her most recent one – which included ministering alongside one of her daughters, Riley – was to Honduras in July.

“She and my wife were friends and Bridget said Heather had a magnetic personality and good sense of humor,” said Boley.

Last October the Boleys lost one of a set of twin daughters shortly after birth. Polk’s medical background and friendship helped them walk through that dark time, he said.

“Even recently, Heather was still sending Bridget texts about it to check in on her,” said Boley.

A visitation for will be held at the church Friday (Sept. 9) from 5-8 p.m. There will be a second visitation from 9-11 a.m. Saturday, followed by a funeral service at 11.

This article originally appeared here

Toxic Person: 6 Early Warning Signs You’re Dealing With One

toxic person
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A toxic person. You’ve likely dealt with someone like that before. At your church, as a volunteer, on your staff, and as customers. A toxic person is, well, toxic.

An unhealthy or difficult person can infect your team like toxins infect the human body. After some exposure, everyone feels sick. The optimist in you and me hope a toxic person will become better. The good news is, sometimes they do.

Unhealthy people can grow healthier with the right care and attention in a healthy environment. But some toxic people just don’t. Some remain difficult, despite all attempts.

And as you know, if you don’t address toxic people—or worse, let them gain influence—they can infect your whole organization. Plus, they can diminish your effectiveness and take everyone’s focus off the mission.

So…how can you tell early on that the person you’re dealing with might be that person?

6 Signs of a Toxic Person

1. A toxic person comes on too strong.

In my experience as a pastor, the people who show up and want to make it headline news are rarely (I’m being generous here) healthy people. What’s perplexing is that the people who end up being the most toxic at the end of the relationship are over-the-top positive when they first meet you.

I have learned to be suspicious when people tell me on first meeting and first hearing, “That’s the best message I’ve ever heard in my life!” or “This is the best church I’ve ever been to anywhere.”

I find usually the people who are moderately impressed or even neutral on the first visit and warm up over time are the ones who are most healthy in the long run.

People who come on strong when they first meet you usually leave just as loudly.

2. A toxic person gives you advice during your first meeting.

Whether it’s a casual conversation or even a job interview, people who tell 15 ways you can improve your organization or your speaking often end up being toxic people.

Are there ways we can improve our organization? Of course. Can you improve your speaking? Sure you can.

But when someone leads off with loads of advice…well, that’s just not healthy.

When people I first meet start telling me about all the ways we can improve our church, I thank them and tell them point blank we’re probably not the church for them and offer to help them find a new one.

Popular Preschool Cartoon ‘Peppa Pig’ Introduces Same-Sex Parents

Screengrab via Twitter @thecartooncrave

Earlier this week, the popular British preschool cartoon Peppa Pig, which airs on Nick Jr., introduced a same-sex couple to its young audience, a first in the program’s 18-year history.

In an episode of the Hasbro owned show titled “Families,” the character Penny Polar Bear shared with her classmates that her parents are two moms.

“I’m Penny Polar Bear. I live with my mommy and my other mommy,” Penny said while showing a hand drawn portrait of her family. Penny told the class, “One mommy is a doctor and one mommy cooks spaghetti. I love spaghetti.”

RELATED: Satan Impregnates Woman, Has Antichrist Daughter in New Disney Distributed FX Animated Series ‘Little Demon’

The children’s show, which is broadcasted in over 180 countries, may have been influenced to include the same-sex parental polar bears by a 2019 petition that fell short of its 25,000 signature goal but demanded that Peppa Pig writers include a same-sex parent family on the show.

Peppa Pig is one of the most popular TV shows for young children and has won numerous British Academy Children’s Awards. The show features Peppa Pig and her family, and various families of other animals they are friends with,” the petition said.

Petitioners took issue with the show not featuring a same-sex family in any of the 250-plus episodes that had aired at the time.

“Children watching Peppa Pig are at an impressionable age, and excluding same-sex families will teach them that only families with either a single parent or two parents of different sexes are normal,” the petition continued. “This means that children of same-sex parents may feel alienated by Peppa Pig, and that other children may be more likely to bully them, simply through ignorance.”

RELATED: Disney’s ‘Toy Story’ Prequel Will Now Feature Same-Sex Kiss After Pushback Over Fla.’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ Bill

Before asking for supporters signatures, the petition claimed that “Peppa Pig is not just for entertainment, children are inevitably learning from it too.”

This isn’t the first time the polar bear characters have made an appearance on the animated series. The two polar bears made a brief appearance together when they dropped off Penny for a birthday party, but nothing was referenced regarding their relationship at the time.

Pastor and Tennis Legend Margaret Court Takes Aim at Serena Williams

margaret court
L: Koch, Eric for Anefo neg. stroken, 1945-1989, 2.24.01.05, item number 923-7230, CC BY-SA 3.0 NL, via Wikimedia Commons. R: si.robi, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons.

Amid the recent adulation for U.S. tennis superstar Serena Williams comes pushback from 80-year-old Australian pastor Margaret Court. Before entering the ministry, Court was a tennis champion who won 24 Grand Slam singles titles—one more than Williams.

In a recent interview, Court compares the two athletes’ careers and expresses disappointment that she doesn’t receive enough credit. The Pentecostal pastor tells Britain’s Daily Telegraph her Christians beliefs are one reason she isn’t honored, even in her own nation. Critics accuse Court of being intolerant and racist.

Margaret Court: Tennis Is ‘So Much Easier’ Now

Last Friday, Williams lost in the third round of the U.S. Open, in what’s presumed to be her final pro match. The 40-year-old is being lauded as the “greatest athlete of all time”—male or female. She holds the record for the most career Grand Slam wins (23) in the “Open Era,” which began in 1968.

Margaret Court’s pro career lasted from 1960 to 1977. Afterward, she attended Bible college, started a ministry, and then launched Victory Life Centre in Perth, where she still serves as pastor.

Court, who played seven fewer years than Williams, notes that she won Grand Slams after having two babies. (Williams hasn’t won a championship since the 2017 birth of her only child.) Modern-day players “don’t honor the past of the game” or honor their opponents anymore, Court laments. Although she says she has “admired” Williams “as a player…I don’t think she has ever admired me.”

Being a top tennis player was tougher in the past, Court says. “I would love to have played in this era. I think it’s so much easier. How I would love to have taken family or friends along with me. But I couldn’t. I had to go on my own or with the national team. People don’t see all that.” She adds, “We didn’t have psychologists or coaches with us. It’s a whole different world.”

Pastor Margaret Court: Media ‘Don’t Want To Mention My Name

Court, who became a born-again Christian in the early ’70s, while ranked number one, says, “A lot of the press…don’t want to mention my name.” At Wimbledon earlier this year, she says, “Nobody even spoke to me.” And Court believes she knows why.

“I think a lot of it is because of being a minister and making a stand for my beliefs,” she says. “I have had a lot of bullying. But we should be able to say what we believe. I’ve got nothing against anybody. I respect everybody. I minister to everybody.”

Court’s opposition to same-sex marriage has cost her and Victory Life Centre grants and donations. And LGBTQ activists want her name removed from an arena in Melbourne Park.

A Place to Connect: New Church Construction Reflects Needs for Today

church buildings
The commons area at Brentwood Baptist Church's Nolensville campus gives an example of what can be created at a medium-sized church. (Photo courtesy of MG+A)

NASHVILLE (BP) — Over a hundred years ago, Southern Baptist P.E. Burroughs wrote on the importance of vestibules, the small gathering areas common in many churches to be built throughout that century.

“[They] are worth far more than their cost,” he said. “They lend an air of welcome; they provide waiting room for people who arrive during prayer or such other parts of the service as may delay the incoming congregation; they encourage sociability.”

Burroughs’ book from which that passage originated – “Church and Sunday-School Buildings” – was published by the Sunday School Board in 1917, the same year he was asked by that entity to lead its newly-created Architectural Department. For many Southern Baptists it became a guide during an unprecedented construction boom of churches in the two decades following World War II, a time that also witnessed a period of high attendance and church programs galore to occupy the space.

P.E. Burroughs’ book “Church and Sunday-School Buildings” became a guide for many Southern Baptist churches built in the 20th century.

Time is undefeated, though.

Eventually, those same buildings showed their age. Drastic upgrades or new construction become necessary.

Coupled with the recent church planting movement in the SBC, churches are getting a new look with architects and ministry leaders focused on the needs of today while not ignoring the input of those like Burroughs from a century ago.

One of the operative words in developing those plans is “together.”

“It seems that churches are moving toward a more intimate setting where people can be reached,” said Kevin Goins, a Panama City, Fla.-based architect.

“It’s about a sense of community. For me the lobby is just as important as the [worship area]. It’s where relationships are formed and you catch up with folks.”

The Baptist Sunday School Board, and then after becoming Lifeway, had its own department of architects and related personnel for church construction through 2013, at which point it began partnering with an outside firm for that purpose.

A former production coordinator for Lifeway’s Church Architecture Division, Goins is still active in working with churches today.

“Trends are for ‘smaller,’” he said. “People are going back to the community church.”

He stressed that the church’s sanctuary remains a focus for its purpose and mission.

Also, its overall size doesn’t necessarily mean it can’t foster a sense of community.

Alan Dobbins, the managing partner of Myrick, Gurosky + Associates (MG+A) in Birmingham, told Baptist Press that large connection and commons spaces have become some of the most important on church campuses in his company’s work designing church buildings.

If you’re planning to add an extension to your current home, you’ll have to ascertain what type of foundation piling will be needed to accommodate your project.

“Since the early 2000s, major areas of focus have been on reaching younger families through dynamic children and student spaces. Worship will always be a key component and the biggest trends we’re seeing in these spaces are the incredible investments being made in technology,” he said.

Thailand Mission Trip Fruit of Hmong and Minn./Wisc. Baptist Partnership

Photo courtesy at Baptist Press.

ROCHESTER, Minn. (BP) Tra Xiong, executive director of the Hmong Baptist National Association (HBNA), sees a blessing and a challenge in spreading the Gospel in Thailand.

Fresh on the heels of an HBNA mission trip to Thailand in partnership with the Minnesota/Wisconsin Baptist Convention (MWBC), Xiong describes the southeast Asian constitutional monarchy as freely open to evangelism.

“Thailand is very free like the U.S., so it’s very feasible for us to do ministry,” Hmong said. But conversely, he believes the freedom the Thai people enjoy has made them more resistant to the Gospel. “In Thailand, it’s kind of tough for us to do ministry because they are free will. They choose whatever they want to do. And we don’t have many leaders to lead the church.”

Xiong, leading the HBNA to catalyze pastors to plant churches and evangelize in Thailand, sees great value in the HBNA’s partnership with the MWBC. He was among a group of 10 pastors, leaders and congregants who traveled to Thailand’s Nan Province July 26-Aug. 9 for missions and ministry. In cooperation with the eight churches the HBNA has planted in Thailand since 1999, the group trained men in biblical leadership, trained women in women’s ministry, and conducted English language camps for students in a public school that allowed the group to share the Gospel and evangelize.

RELATED: Super Bowl Championship Ring Provides ‘New Life’ for 24 Orphans in Thailand

“If the church will grow,”  we need to get some people to help there,” Xiong said. “They don’t have any persecution there. So it’s a very good station for us to be there, so we can do ministry through Laos, Vietnam, China,” and other countries that are closed to the Gospel.

In addition to 54 churches in 16 states, the HBNA has planted churches abroad that have multiplied to encompass 50 churches in France, Thailand and Vietnam.

Xiong has led about 10 HBNA mission trips to Thailand in the past 20 years, but the 2022 trip was the first for Na Herr, MWBC intercultural catalyst and team facilitator.

While the HBNA and the MWBC have enjoyed a longstanding friendship, Herr said the 2022 trip was part of a MWBC Executive Director Leo Endel’s vision for evangelizing southeast Asia in partnership with the association.

“We’re a relatively small state convention,” Herr said of the convention of 200 churches, including 54 Hmong congregations. “A lot of our churches are small churches. They lack the resources and capacity to do their own trip, and so part of it is just giving an opportunity to our churches in our convention to be able to go on a mission trip overseas.

RELATED: 7 Ways Mission Trips Have Helped Me Preach Better

“And then leveraging our partnership with the Hmong association and their work that they’re already doing in Southeast Asia,” Herr said. “They have all the connections and all the relationships already in southeast Asia so we’re coming alongside of them, and we’re trying to pull a lot of our smaller churches whether they’re Hmong or not. We want all of our churches to be involved.”

The 2022 trip was delayed by the COVID-19 pandemic and follows years of targeted collaboration between the HBNA and the state convention.

Five congregations participated in the trip, namely Eternal Life Hmong Baptist Church of North St. Paul, Hmong First Baptist Church of Milwaukee, Wisc., Twin Cities Hmong Baptist Church in Roseville, Minn., Hmong Baptist Church Rochester in Eyota, and Rock of Hope Church in Wisconsin Dells. Four U.S. students were among the group.

While no professions of faith were recorded, ministers and educators in Nan Province asked the HBNA and MWBC to return. Herr is helping the HBNA plan a 2023 trip.

“It was nice to get an invitation back from a secular school,” Herr said.

RELATED: Are Short-Term Mission Trips a Waste of Time and Money

Peter Yanes, executive director of Asian American relations and mobilization for the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee, commended the work.

“I’m grateful for their existing relationship that extended to do missions together in Thailand, where Hmong indigenous people are the second largest minority group,” Yanes told Baptist Press. “This is what missional cooperation is all about.”

This article originally appeared at Baptist Press.

California Congressman Demands More Transparency From Health Care Sharing Ministries

health care sharing ministries
Photo by Marcelo Leal (via Unsplash)

(RNS) — Since the passage of the Affordable Care Act in 2010, health care “sharing ministries” sprang up as more affordable options to the policies offered by national insurance companies for the Obamacare marketplace. Often developed by Christian organizations, the sharing ministries had the further advantage of being exempted from ACA’s mandates on contraception and abortion. Small religious communities were told they could cover their members while preserving their moral principles.

The sharing ministries are not health insurance, though critics say they are often billed as such. Rather, they are cooperatives in which consumers pool their money to help each other through medical emergencies. While they have existed for decades, enrollment in these programs has been estimated to grow from about 100,000 members in 2010 to 1.5 million members in 2020.

Now U.S. Rep. Jared Huffman, the congressman for much of California’s Bay Area, is going after what he calls deceptive marketing and dangerous practices of health care sharing ministries, charging that customers have been left with unpaid bills.

While industry experts note that some health care sharing ministries have provided generous coverage of large medical claims, they’re not obligated to do so and are not subjected to oversight and regulation, according to the resource site Verywell Health. The health shares don’t have to comply with any government health benefit requirements and can exclude treatment for mental health, substance use disorders and preventive care, according to The Common Wealth Fund.

Huffman said the exemptions were originally intended to allow “true religious ministries,” such as the Amish community, to “go their own way when it comes to funding their health care needs.” Instead, he said, “it opened a Pandora’s box for all of these Ponzi schemes.”

“The common problem is people thinking that they have health insurance-like coverage, and finding out the hard way that they really don’t,” Huffman said.

In July, Huffman introduced the Health Share Transparency Act. If passed, it would require health care sharing ministries to disclose a range of information to the Internal Revenue Service, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and other federal agencies, including data about financial reserves, the ratio of dollars collected versus how much was actually spent on medical services, and the number of people enrolled in the sharing ministries.

Health care sharing ministries would also have to include a list of services deemed ineligible for reimbursement and reveal to consumers that they are not insurers and are not required to pay claims.

U.S. Rep. Jared Huffman. (Official U.S. House of Representatives photo/Creative Commons)

U.S. Rep. Jared Huffman. (Official U.S. House of Representatives photo/Creative Commons)

“What it’s really about is disclosure, and accountability, and making sure that there is some government oversight to protect consumers,” Huffman said.

In January, California Attorney General Rob Bonta sued the Aliera Cos. and the Moses family, which founded Sharity Ministries, a nonprofit that Bonta said purported to be a health care sharing ministry. Rather than paying its members’ health care costs, according to the state’s complaint, Aliera declined claims and retained nearly 84% of its members’ contributions.

Before California’s lawsuit, more than a dozen other states had already taken action against the company. Last summer, Sharity filed for bankruptcy, leaving an estimated 10,000 families millions of dollars in debt.

Health care sharing ministries are fighting back to rescue the industry’s reputation. The Alliance of Health Care Sharing Ministries, a lobbying group founded in 2017, recently announced a new independent accreditation board requiring ministries to meet certain standards to “demonstrate their integrity and credibility.”

Pruitt Sees an Opportunity To Reach Gen Z

Photo courtesy at Baptist Press.

NASHVILLE (BP) – Shane Pruitt, national Next Gen director for the North American Mission Board (NAMB), says churches now more than ever have the opportunity to step into the brokenness of Generation Z with the hope of the Gospel.

In a video interview with Baptist Press, Pruitt said the COVID-19 pandemic didn’t create new problems for Gen Z, but instead “poured gasoline,” onto problems that were already there.

He encouraged churches to point to Jesus as the solution.

“You have a whole generation that I think realized through the pandemic that the world is broken,” Pruitt said.

RELATED: SBC Evangelist Calls Out Church Division: ‘The American Church Is Spoiled, Rich, and Privileged’

“They’re looking for hope and answers, and that’s a perfect opportunity for the Church to come in and say ‘we know you’re looking for hope. We know you’re looking for answers. We know you’re looking for truth and hope has a name. The answer has a name, truth has a name and that name’s Jesus.’”

The interview with Pruitt was an installment in a new weekly series from Baptist Press entitled ‘Baptist Press This Week.’ Episodes are available on the Baptist Press website and Baptist Press’s YouTube channel.

One important big avenue that Pruitt mentioned for connecting with Gen Z is through social media.

He explains that not only does social media allow the generation to know everything going on in the world good and bad, it also creates a weird social dynamic where they are “connected, but super lonely at the same time.”

Pruitt said he challenges the age group to prioritize time in God’s Word over time on social media.

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“I will often say to teenagers, ‘What if you read one Bible verse for every social media post you read every day, how fast would you get through the Bible?’”

Although time in God’s Word is most important, Pruitt went on to say social media can be used for good and even encouraged churches to ask teenagers in their church for tips in using other teenagers with social media.

“Over half of the world’s population is on social media, so it’s part of discipleship to say to them ‘leverage this for the Kingdom of God,’” Pruitt said. “I say the most effective person at reaching a teenager with a Gospel is another teenager that has a heart that beats with passion for Jesus, and that same heart is broken over the spiritual lostness of their own generation.

“I would say get them to the table, learn from them, hear from them, and even add them as a part of the decision-making process of your online strategies.”

RELATED: Focus on Gospel Vital in Reaching the Next Generation

Pruitt encourages older believers to be “real and authentic,” to who they are and preach the same Gospel that led them to faith.

“I will tell you in the two years of my ministry, I’ve seen more college students, young adults, and teenagers get saved than probably the 15 years of my ministry before that combined,” Pruitt said. “It’s because they are searching for truth and we can point them to Jesus and preach the Word. The same gospel that has worked for 2000 years still works today and the Bible is always relevant.

This article originally appeared at Baptist Press.

AME Bishops Condemn Leaders Who Took Massive Kickbacks From Church Sales in New York

AME
Bishop Gregory G.M. Ingram speaks in 2021. Video screen grab

(RNS) — A group of New York clergy took more than a million dollars from a real estate developer who sought to turn distressed Black churches into lucrative properties, according to settlements with that state’s attorney general.

The settlements, posted on the attorney general’s website in August, show that a bishop, two pastors and a pastor’s wife sought to conceal the kickbacks from congregations that owned the buildings, as well as from state officials. The funds were taken even as the developer, Moujan Vahdat, allegedly failed to live up to promises made to the churches in the purchase agreements. In one case, Vahdat is accused of trying to evict a congregation from the building it once owned.

Two African Methodist Episcopal Church clergy involved have agreed to pay back more than $800,000 to the state of New York, according to the settlements. Vahdat has signed a settlement with the attorney general, offering to make good on his company’s promises to the churches or allow them to back out of their deals.

Retired AME Bishop Gregory G.M. Ingram, who formerly oversaw the First Episcopal District of the AME, which covers much of the northeast U.S., agreed to pay back $600,000 in “finder’s fees” he got from the sale of the church properties. The bishop also agreed to sell a Rolex he got as a kickback. Former First Episcopal District Presiding Elder Melvin Wilson, who worked for Ingram, agreed to pay back $300,000.

News of the settlements led the AME’s Council of Bishops to condemn the actions of their clergy colleagues. That condemnation came after the settlements, which were signed in 2021, were made public in late August, according to the bishops.

“As a result of the findings of the Attorney General of New York and the signed agreement of the two AME clergypersons, the Council of Bishops of the African Methodist Episcopal Church expresses our disappointment and condemns the inappropriate practices of our colleague and the former presiding elder in the New York Conference, who currently pastors in the New Jersey Conference,” the AME Council of Bishops said in a statement dated Aug. 31.

The Council of Bishops also announced that Ingram, though still listed as a bishop on the AME’s national website, will refrain from taking part in bishop meetings or other denominational events until 2024. Any further discipline against Wilson will be decided by the new bishop of the First Episcopal District.

Neither Wilson nor Ingram responded to requests for comment.

According to the settlements, Vahdat allegedly gave a Church of God in Christ pastor and his wife hundreds of thousands of dollars in kickbacks for the sale of the historic Childs Memorial Temple COGIC in Harlem. That pastor and his wife are not named in the settlements. However, in 2021, the New York state attorney general sued COGIC pastor Kevin Griffin, saying he had allegedly received $900,000 from Vahdat, including $450,000 from the sale of Childs Memorial.

In an affidavit filed in February, Griffin, who denies any wrongdoing, said he took no part in the vote to sell the church. He also said that he might receive finder’s fees from the developer for other church sales.

The settlements with the attorney general’s office cover the acquisition of seven churches — five from the AME and two from COGIC — beginning in 2013. Vahdat’s companies purchased six of the churches and obtained a 99-year lease on one of the buildings. The idea was to take over older church buildings that were already heavily leveraged, according to the settlements. Those buildings would then be demolished and replaced by multistory buildings, which would contain a sanctuary for the church to worship in, with the rest controlled by the developer.

Vadhot enlisted the aid of clergy to identify and secure the buildings. This was complicated by state law governing the sale of church buildings, which is highly regulated. According to the settlements, any sale must be approved by a state court or by the attorney general’s office.

Running With Watermelon Shoes

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Adobestock #260316991

There is a phrase from the comedy, Mystery Men, that I think perfectly describes my relationship with the Lord. In the scene Ben Stiller, who plays Mr. Furious, is frustrated with the new leader of his ragtag band of superheroes, The Sphinx. The Sphinx majors in formulaic phrases like, “when you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.” Or “He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.”

In one particular scene Mr. Furious, balancing a tack hammer on his head, questions The Sphinx’s methods. The Sphinx responds with another formulaic saying: “When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.”

The camera then pans to Mr. Furious questioning why he is wearing watermelon on his feet. To this the Sphinx says, “I don’t remember telling you to do that.”

And there it is.

“I don’t remember telling you to do that.”

Wearing Watermelon Shoes

I wear watermelon shoes.

How many times have I set for myself an imaginary standard, failed to meet that standard, and then end up feeling guilty before a holy God for not accomplishing the goal that set?

This is why a true understanding of the sufficiency of Scripture can be so helpful. I say “true understanding” because there is much being paraded around these days on the doctrine of sufficiency that is foreign to its historical meaning. I digress. One aspect of the doctrine of sufficiency is that we do not have the right to call something a sin which is not forbidden by Scripture either explicitly or by strong implication. And we are not required to do something unless Scripture requires this of us.

I want to finish 100 books this year. I believe reading good books helps me to grow as a person. I don’t know if I’ll make my goal, though. So, what happens if I don’t? Track the logic here:

A. Reading good books helps you grow as a person.
B. God desires for you to grow
Therefore: God desires you to read good books

Okay, maybe.

A. The more you read the more you’ll grow
B. Reading 100 books is a good goal
C. God wants me to be faithful and have integrity in accomplishing my goals.
Therefore: God wants me to read 100 books this year.

7 Examples of Bad Friends Who Are Sure to Ruin Your Life

communicating with the unchurched

When it comes to sharing examples of bad friends, I always point to a night I remember so clearly. I was driving down a dark, narrow two-lane road with the gas pedal to the floor. Intoxicated. It was the night my life hit rock bottom. I wasn’t man enough to throw my truck in front of a tree, but if I happened to lose control, then so be it.

How did I get to that point? Two words: bad friends. Don’t get me wrong. I owned my actions. My friends didn’t put me behind the wheel. I was responsible for the mess that was my life.

But the man behind the steering wheel that night allowed the actions of his friends to influence the man God created him to be. “Bad company corrupts good morals,” says the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:33. But those words never applied to me…or so I thought.

Looking back, I realize my naivety. The words did apply to me. Truth isn’t selective; it doesn’t pick and choose. And the truth in Paul’s words is a warning for us: Your friends will shape your life.

In fact, friendships contribute more to the man or woman you’re going to be (or have become) than any factor outside of God. Bold words, I know.

But this one reality might change the trajectory of your life. My prayer for this post is that one person will see, through these examples of bad friends, that their friends are shackling them from becoming the person God created them to be. And I hope they’ll make some changes.

Your friends can challenge you to achieve things you never imagined. Your friends can also cripple your dreams, leaving you on a two-lane road feeling hopeless.

Here are 7 examples of bad friends who will ruin your life:

1. The “tells you what you want to hear” friend 

These friends say exactly what you want them to say and do exactly what you want them to do. To put it bluntly, they’re groupies, not friends. Groupies think their respective group, player, etc. hung the moon. The person they admire could open-hand slap an old lady on a cane, and a groupie would find some way to justify it.

These people are examples of bad friends because they don’t really love you. They’re infatuated with something you have. Popularity. Looks. Athleticism. But they aren’t concerned with pointing you to God and challenging you to be the best man or woman you can be.

Friends who love you and want you to succeed point out flaws. Friends who love you and want you to succeed point out your inconsistencies. They don’t enjoy doing that. But, with love and grace, they step into difficult conversations because they can’t bear to watch you continue down a path that might lead to destruction.

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