Newsletters
Home Blog Page 1073

When They Say, ‘It’s Not You’ (But It Is)

By
Kurt Bubna
-
communicating with the unchurched

Many of us have heard from someone, maybe a friend, a spouse, a boss, an employee or a parishioner if you’re a pastor, “It’s not you, but I think it’s time for me to move on. Trust me, you are not the issue, but I’m having a problem with _____________, and it’s time for a change.”

They may like you, and so they don’t want to shred you emotionally, but they’re not honest either.

They say, “Trust me, it’s not you.”

But it is.

If you told your spouse, “I think you’re a wonderful person with lots of delightful qualities, but I’ve grown bored in our relationship and need more __________.” Wouldn’t your spouse think, “If I’m so wonderful, why are you not interested in me?”

If you told a chef, “I like you, but I don’t like your menu or the way you prepare mac-n-cheese.” Isn’t the food and the menu representative of who he is?

If you told a teacher, “I think you’re great, but your curriculum and your classroom suck.” Isn’t the material and the classroom environment a part of who the teacher is?

If you told a pastor, “I like you. I think you’re an amazing pastor, but I don’t feel fed, or I don’t like the music, or I don’t like the leadership culture at your church.” Isn’t any particular church an expression of the pastor?

Everything you and I do—regardless of what we do—is in some way (and perhaps in many ways) an expression of who we are and what we value.

A teacher isn’t going to feel great when a student doesn’t like what is being taught. A spouse is not going to feel wonderful if you don’t want to be married to him or her. A pastor isn’t going to feel amazing when you don’t like his church.

So what do you do when people are trying to be kind (or wimping out), and what you hear from them is not honest?

Consider these:

  • Remember, Jesus was perfect, but He had His critics too. Stop trying to please everyone and accept the fact that humans often are critical.
  • Keep in mind, you’re no Jesus and very imperfect, so it is possible that there’s something you can and should learn from your critics. Don’t be arrogant or stubborn. Is there even a grain of truth in what is being said (or implied)?
  • Accept this reality: If you’re going to lead, you’re going to take some hits. It’s the person out front who often suffers the most blows. Your car windshield is the part that has the bug splatter and rock chips, not the rear window.
  • Humans rarely like to take personal responsibility for the condition of their hearts and lives. We (including you and I) seem wired to look for a scapegoat rather than own our flaws. When a husband has a problem with his wife and doesn’t acknowledge his own failings, the wife shouldn’t feel responsible for her husband’s defects.
  • Don’t be shocked by the fact that humans are fickle. A hero today easily becomes a villain tomorrow in our culture. You don’t have to do anything wrong, and you may not have changed, but people’s preferences often do. Don’t let public opinion drive you, because if you do, it will drive you crazy.

Relationships are hard because relationships involve humans. Learning to navigate the realities of criticism isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely necessary.

Keep at it. Don’t give up.

Humans are worth it.

You are worth it.

This article originally appeared here.

To Discouraged Pastors and Their Wives

By
John Piper
-
communicating with the unchurched

Happy Monday, and welcome back. Well, Mondays are notoriously difficult for pastors. The Monday Blues, as they’re called, can set in after giving one’s life and soul on Sunday. If you’re not a pastor, pray for your pastor today as you listen.

And all of this is compounded for pastors who struggle with tension inside their church’s leadership, which then breeds tension in marriages and families. All of this leads to a question from an anonymous wife of a discouraged pastor.

“Pastor John, I really appreciate your Ask Pastor John podcast. It is one of my favorite things to listen to when I am walking or doing the dishes or folding laundry. Thank you. I write you as a discouraged pastor’s wife. My husband and I have been in full-time youth ministry for four years now, and it breaks my heart to say it, but I feel almost fed up with ministry. My husband gets very frustrated and discouraged at times. I submit to his leading in our family and his call to ministry. But I am so discouraged. The last year has been really difficult for us, my husband, our marriage and our family. My husband looks so defeated some days. It breaks my heart. We have received difficult criticism from church members. I have a hard time not taking the criticism personally. Some of these people are our dear friends, and it’s hard not to feel betrayed. Our church leadership remains fairly silent regarding the criticism and neither offers support nor guidance in how my husband can improve. I know we are not perfect by any means, but without guidance we don’t know what the church wants from us. We feel alone. Can you offer any encouragement to us?”

My heart really goes out to the situation of this young couple—to pastors, especially younger pastors, who are not in the lead pastor position, but serve in supportive roles like youth pastor. Their fruitfulness and their joy are often dependent on patterns of leadership set by those who oversee them, and so they’re more vulnerable than others are. I have a special tender spot of concern that they have good leadership, not leaders who just ignore issues.

What might be helpful is three things. One is a testimony. Let me give a little testimony of my own discouragement six years into the ministry. Another is a series of diagnostic questions that might provide a way of reflecting on their situation. And finally, some encouragement from the word.

How I Almost Quit

Here’s the testimony. I had been at Bethlehem as the senior pastor for six years. I was now 40 years old at this point, which I do believe is an emotionally vulnerable place for a man to be.

There are real midlife issues, I think, and I wrote in my journal November 6, 1986, these words. (In fact, you can read the whole thing by going to desiringGod.org and just searching for the article called “How I Almost Quit.”)

Here’s part of what I said:

The church is looking for a vision for the future, and I do not have it. Does this mean that my time at Bethlehem is over? Does it mean that there is a radical alternative unforeseen by me? Does it mean that I am simply in the pits today and unable to feel the beauty and power and joy and fruitfulness of an expanded facility and ministry?

Oh, Lord, have mercy on me. I am so discouraged. I am so blank. I feel like there are opponents on every hand, even when I know that most of my people are for me. I am so blind to the future of the church.

Oh, Father, am I blind because it is not my future? Perhaps I shall not even live out the year, and you are sparing the church the added burden of a future I had made and couldn’t complete. I do not doubt for a moment your goodness or power or omnipotence in my life or in the life of the church.

I confess that the problem is mine, the weakness is mine, the blindness is in my eyes. The sin (oh, reveal to me my hidden faults) is mine and mine the blame. Have mercy, Father. Have mercy on me. I must preach on Sunday, and I can scarcely lift my head.

Now, as a matter of fact, I remained in that role for another 27 years, which is a warning against precipitous resignations when God may have something wonderful in store by persevering through seasons of blankness. He certainly did for me, and I’m so thankful he didn’t let me go, in both senses. He didn’t let me leave the church, and he didn’t let go of me.

18 Leadership Quotes and Lessons From “The Post” Movie

By
Brian Dodd
-
communicating with the unchurched
I went to see the new movie The Post for one reason—the combination of Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep and Steven Speilberg. When you have the rare opportunity to put these three iconic artisans together you are sure to produce greatness…and that is just what they did. This movie is a clinic in what movie-making and acting is all about.
The Post chronicles the decision by The Washington Post and its publisher Kay Graham to publish The McNamara Papers which would uncover sensitive government secrets spanning four presidents. Graham, played magnificently by Streep, faced significant odds including overcoming a white old-boys club, losing her social circle, imprisonment and the paper being shut down. She would become an inspiration to many women during that time period. Her story is one which needs to be told.This movie is very pro-press. Not in a liberal or conservative way, but championing their role to keep power accountable. One thing I did not like is I do not know how many GDs you can have to keep a PG-13 rating but Hanks took it to the limit. I don’t understand is why such a transcendent talent like Hanks has to resort to the style of language.

The following are 18 Leadership Quotes and Lessons From The Post Movie:

  1. Great Leaders Make Decisions Using Measurable Results – McNamara said, “We put 100,000 troops in the field and it’s no better. To me, that’s worse.”
  2. Graham said, “Quality and profitability go hand-in-hand.”
  3. Ben Bradlee, played by Hanks, said, “The only way to protect the right to publish is to publish.”
  4. Great Leaders Never Confuse Activity With Accomplishment – Bradlee said, “Is anybody tired of reading the news instead of reporting it?”
  5. Great Leaders Have Great Influence – Graham said, “It’s hard to say ‘No’ to the President of the United States.”
  6. Great Leaders Put the Good of the Organization Above Their Personal Benefit – “Seventy percent (of the reason we stayed in Viet Nam) was to avoid the humiliation of an American defeat.”
  7. Great Leaders Should Take Great Responsibility – “No president wanted to be the one who lost the war.”
  8. Great Leaders Do Their Job – Bradlee said of his friend President Kennedy, “I never thought of Jack as a source. I thought of him as a friend and that was my mistake.”
  9. Great Leaders Want Great Clarity – Bradlee ask Graham, “So, can I ask you a hypothetical question?” She replied, “Oh, dear. I don’t like hypothetical questions.” To which he responded, “Well, I don’t think you’re gonna like the real one, either.”
  10. Leadership Has Its Limits – Bradlee said, “If we live in a world where the United States government tells you what we can and cannot print, the Washington Post has already ceased to exist.”
  11. Great Teams Have Great Depth – One of the reasons The Washington Post was such a great newspaper was its deep roster of reporting talent.
  12. Great Leaders Find a Way – The Post’s reporters had only several hours to read, process and write an article from thousands of recently discovered McNamara Files. Rather than making excuses or complaining, the team rolled up their sleeves and delivered incredible results.
  13. Leaders Must Not Believe the Lies Told About Them – Bradlee’s wife, Tony, played by Sarah Paulson, said referring to Graham, “When you’ve been told time and time again that you’re not even there, it’s hard to believe it’s not true.”
  14. Great Leaders Should Find Ways to Lift People Up and Allow Them to Utilize Their Giftedness – Tony said, “A woman preaching is like a dog walking on its hind legs. It’s not supposed to happen.”
  15. Great Leaders Surround Themselves With A Strong Inner-Circle – Graham said, “It’s no longer my father’s company. This is no longer my husband’s company. This is my company and anyone who doesn’t like that shouldn’t be on my board.”
  16. Great Leaders Are Decisive – Graham added “The decision’s made. I’m going to bed.”
  17. People Follow Courageous Leaders – After appearing before the Supreme Court, Graham walked down the courthouse steps through a cascade of proud women.
  18. Graham concludes, “The news is the first rough draft of history.”

There will be some Oscar victories, particularly Streep, coming out of this movie. If you want to see movie-making at its best, go see The Post. Just prepare yourself for the language.

This article originally appeared here.

How Not to Bolster Mental Illness Stigma From the Pulpit

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

In the wake of the Parkland school shooting that left 17 dead, many are talking about mental illness and the connection, if there is one, to mass murders. In light of these conversations, pastors need to be careful not to reinforce the mental illness stigma present in our culture—especially from the pulpit.

Florida Governor Rick Scott vowed to keep guns out of the hands of those with mental illness. And Attorney General Jeff Sessions committed to “study the intersection of mental health and criminality and identify how we can stop people capable of such heinous crimes.”

Should church leaders be part of that discussion with their congregations?

Russell Moore, president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, told ChurchLeaders that he doesn’t want to see pastors sending “unintended messages” resulting from political reactions to the violence, thus furthering the mental illness stigma.

“I’ve heard people saying…’this is mental illness, these are kids with mental illness.’ When you say that in that simple sort of way, what that can do is send a message to the people in the congregation, if you’ve got a mental illness then you’re a potential killer. Or if you have a child with a mental illness, you’re a potential threat, when that’s not the case.”

Moore would rather hear love, grace and the justice of God spoken of in the wake of the tragedy.

Those views are echoed by Brad Hambrick, Pastor of Counseling at The Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina.  

He said he’s seen a lot of discussion on social media about mental illness and personality disorders. He fears the topics are being conflated. “When you add to the discussion that the gunman was on psychotropic meds, it can stigmatize anyone on meds for depression or generalized anxiety as potentially dangerous.”

Still, he would encourage pastors to increase their discussion of mental illness in a more neutral context and on a more regular basis to help raise awareness about mental health issues. He offers as a resource How to Promote Excellent Counseling Resources to Your Church Members.

Resources for Avoiding Mental Illness Stigma

Hambrick’s recommendations include:

  • An intentional approach to social media.
  • Have a database of quality posts or memes to promote.
  • Update your database as you find good material. Ministry will force you to find resources.

He says the end goal is twofold: Help people who are hurting in your church become aware of quality resources that are available early in their struggle, and help everyone in your church learn of quality Christian resources that help them apply their faith to life.

Increased and appropriate discussion of mental illness is also recommended by Dr. Tim Clinton, president of the American Association of Christian Counselors.

“Today we grieve and stand with the parents, students and all those who were touched by the senseless act of violence in today’s school shooting in Florida. This tragedy, like so many before, highlights the glaring need for our country to better understand and destigmatize mental health issues.”

But he says for now a pastor’s efforts should be concentrated on “comforting the brokenhearted and those traumatized by the evil they encountered.”

While churches strive to help their members cope with evil in the world and its aftermath, they must also be careful not to alienate those who are struggling with mental health issues and desperately in need of spiritual care.

Should You Quit?

By
Russell Moore
-
communicating with the unchurched

From hearing from you, I can tell that some of you are about to quit. Some of you are wondering whether to quit your jobs. Some of you are wondering whether to quit ministries you have within your local church. Some of you are wondering whether to quit other aspects of your life that I don’t even know about. You’re discouraged and you’re ready to give up. Should you?

Maybe. I’m not going to say “Don’t Quit.” After all, some of you should quit, if you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing or that doesn’t fit with your gifts. I would ask you though, before you quit, to consider some things I’ve found helpful.

I’ve learned much from leadership expert Seth Godin, with perhaps the most important thing being this: “Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.” This is the thesis of Godin’s The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). Godin is not, to my knowledge, a believer. But his insights on human nature often resonate with a biblical vision of the way of wisdom. Moreover, I like his writing because he’s not the typical leadership guru, saying “You can do it!” He doesn’t know if you can do it or not. He just offers tools to help you determine whether you can or not.

Godin identifies “the Dip,” what he calls the sinkhole that causes people to give up. At the beginning of a project, it’s fun. After years and years, there comes expertise and wisdom. In between, though, is “the dip.” Godin writes: “The Dip is the long slog between starting and mastery; a long slog that’s actually a shortcut, because it gets you where you want to go faster than any other path.”

We fail, Godin writes, when we don’t quit the things we shouldn’t be doing. This is consistent with what the Bible tells us about the Body of Christ: The various gifts are distributed, all for the upbuilding of the church. Someone who tries to use all of the gifts, or those he or she doesn’t have, will not succeed. My deciding that I shouldn’t be a church planter isn’t a failure. The only way I can succeed at what God has gifted me to do is by letting others do the things I’m not gifted to do.

At the same time, though, Godin says that failure comes from people who quit things they should be doing too soon. If something is consistently easy, it’s probably something that doesn’t need to be done. A ministry, for instance, that is “safe” is probably a ministry that isn’t challenging problems, just repeating comfortable patterns that confronted problems already gone, or that belong to someone else. The resistance and discouragement you face is not necessarily a sign that you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing. In many cases, it’s merely a sign that you are actually leading, doing something not currently existing in your context, and thus needed. Godin tells us not to be the woodpecker who pecks 20 times on a thousand trees and gets nothing, but rather the woodpecker who pecks 20,000 times on the one tree and gets dinner.

If it weren’t for “the Dip,” everyone would be doing what you’re attempting. There would be no need for you. Your value comes in surviving that Dip, for the sake of the future. The way one tells the difference between a Dip and a cul-de-sac is the question. Godin answers that with three questions.

1.)   Am I panicking?

People often quit when they hit resistance, and are scared. I’ve known pastors who quit when certain people in their congregations start grumbling, only to then go to other congregations and start the cycle all over again. They have in mind the kind of ministry they want, that they see one of their heroes having. That hero, though, didn’t get there without grumbling and resistance. Read biographies. Or talk to your heroes. Or read the Bible!

2.)   Who am I trying to influence?

No place of service will please everyone. You shouldn’t quit teaching Sunday school because some of the teenagers in your class yawn and roll their eyes. You shouldn’t quit the literacy project for the poor because some people think it’s a waste of time. Whatever it is that God has called you to do, recognize that if there weren’t people who hate what you’re doing it would only be because you were not doing anything needed. You endure the naysayers for the sake of those God has called you to serve (sometimes the future selves of those same naysayers!). Paul did not yield to the opponents of the gospel of grace, “so that the truth of the gospel might be preserved for you” (Gal. 2:5).

The false gospel seemed “normal.” Paul didn’t care about being in the mainstream of his immediate context. He knew the Law and the Prophets, and the gospel he received from Jesus. As Godin put it elsewhere: “If you cater to the normal, you will disappoint the weird. And as the world gets weirder, that’s a dumb strategy.” Actually, it always was (1 Cor. 1:21-31; 4:1-20).

3). What sort of measurable progress am I making?

This is easier, of course, in a business than it is in an endeavor with intangible, spiritual effects—like serving in your church or leading a neighborhood ministry. Have people in your life that can counsel you—people that you respect for spiritual maturity, and seek their input. I’ve found some people who quit too soon did so because they were listening to advice about themselves from people that they would never listen to on any other topic, while ignoring those they did listen to on other matters who were encouraging them to keep going.

Read Godin’s little book. Quit the things that you’re not called or equipped to do. Persist in those things that you are. Discouragement is no sign you should quit, and, in fact, might be a sign that you are doing exactly what you should be doing. In that case, press through the Dip, carry the cross and walk on to the crown.

This article originally appeared here.

10 Questions for Pastors to Ask Their Family

By
Chuck Lawless
-
communicating with the unchurched

Pastors, want to have an honest conversation with your family? Consider using these questions if you’re willing to take a risk:

  1. What have I done well as a husband and father? I know I’m not perfect, and I do want to make sure I at least keep doing whatever I do well.
  2. Does my love for you as my wife reflect the way I say Jesus loves the church? I preach about Christ’s love for us, but do I live up to that model?
  3. Have I ever embarrassed you from the pulpit? It’s not my intent to do so, but I know I could have crossed a line at some point.
  4. Do you now, or have you ever, seen me as a hypocrite? You know me best, so be honest with me. I’ll try not to be defensive.
  5. Knowing me as you do, would you want me to be your pastor if I weren’t your husband or father? I want to know that you trust my walk with God.
  6. Based on what you know about me, do I read my Bible and pray on days other than Sunday? I want to be a good role model for you during the entire week.
  7. Have you ever felt like I was more committed to the church than to you? I fear what you will tell me, but I need to hear your candid thoughts.
  8. What can I do to show my love for you better than I do? I don’t always clearly see reality, so help me know what I might do.
  9. Have I ever treated you as “the preacher’s wife” or “the preacher’s kids” more than as my loved family? Please forgive me if I’ve ever seen you more as a role than as a person.
  10. What goal can we set together for the rest of the year? Let’s make a plan to strengthen our relationship over the next ten months.

What other questions would you add to this list?

This article originally appeared here.

Church and Donor Management Software

By
Nick Nicholaou
-
communicating with the unchurched

Solutions from church and donor management software providers keep improving in their ability to help churches and ministries fulfill their mission! Their features to track and communicate with people, their web and mobile device interfaces, and their powerful database tools make this category of software a big help and a valuable asset for today’s ministries in reaching many with The Gospel and discipling them.

Church Software Historical Perspective
In the mid-1980s the number of these programs had grown to 262! Then some merged, some consolidated, and some went out of business, reducing the number to only 34. In the 1990s the Internet made it so easy for those writing solutions to share them that the number of solutions has since more than doubled! Our research this year found 58 solutions focusing on the church and ministry market, of which 40 qualified for this article (requirements include active marketing, minimum growth, and active development of their solution).

We always include new providers (those three years old or less) to give them a chance to build some momentum and compete with ‘the big guys’. It also keeps all of the providers ‘on their toes’ as the up-and-comers sometimes develop new technologies that benefit many churches and ministries in a new way.

Why Church Management Software?
The solution providers on the following pages meet the sophisticated and complex needs of churches and ministries. Tracking more than just names, addresses, and phone numbers, many of these also help build community and track traditional and modern family relationships, spiritual gifts, talents, interests, attendance, nursery security, contributions, fundraising campaigns, volunteerism, small groups, and more.

Church and ministry offices can be stressful workplaces because of the many deadlines that must be met by an administrative staff that is typically smaller in number than what would be found in a similar-sized secular business. Church management software, if well written, can be a soothing balm. If it’s powerful, capable, fast, and stable, the ministry team can rely on it to help them get the most possible work done—efficiently and with minimal stress. And if its abilities are broad enough, every ministry in the church or ministry can focus on just one database, increasing synergy and minimizing cost.

Church Management Software Defined
Some time ago Steve Hewitt, then Editor-in-Chief of Christian Computing Magazine (recently re-branded as MinistryTech Magazine), labeled the software category tailored to meet the needs of churches as Church Management Software, or CMS. More recently some began calling it ChMS to help prevent confusion since there are now so many software categories called ‘CMS’. Parachurch ministries need to track similar data, so we invited those solutions into this article too. Following is a well-researched list of the leading ChMS providers at the time of this writing, with each stating at the top of the feature chart whether their focus is church, parachurch, or both.

Not-for-Profit Accounting
Churches and ministries exist in a unique accounting niche that most software (and even most CPAs!) can’t help with. But many ChMS packages can help in this area.

One of a ministry’s most vulnerable areas is finance. All too often we hear about churches and ministries that have suffered embezzlement by a trusted team member. One of the best protections is an accounting system that has a good audit trail, tracking the detail of every transaction and whose data cannot be altered in any way. For these reasons, some ChMS providers have written their own fully-integrated accounting system.

Some churches and ministries want a ChMS that has a fully-integrated accounting system, and we list the functions they look for in the chart. Others may not care if the ChMS provider has written its own accounting system, and for them it’s good to know that most ChMSes can interface with ‘third-party’ accounting systems such as those in the chart that only provide nonprofit accounting solutions.

Feature Chart
We’ve tried to give you the most comprehensive and quickest format possible of those ChMS database and accounting functions ministry teams request most. We removed features provided by all ChMS providers to help focus on solutions’ distinct feature sets.

The chart lists solutions by the name their providers use to market them rather than by the company name. We include the company name in the section following the chart in which we give information on each provider such as how to reach them, how long they’ve been making their solutions available, how many organizations they currently serve, their support hours, and how often they update their software. All of the information in this article was provided by the software companies.

The chart uses two symbols:

  • The ” 1 ” symbol indicates features ChMS companies provide directly, and
  • The ” 2 ” symbol indicates needs they meet through an outside (third party) source.

Happy Hunting!
Shop wisely. We recommend that you do your due diligence and check with current users of the software you’re interested in. Ask questions like:

  • Does the software do what was promised?
  • Is their support team capable and available?
  • If you were faced with the same decision today, what would you do differently?

Feel free to contact any of the providers listed.  They would love to help you in your ministry.  Happy hunting!

This article originally appeared here.

Brady Boyd: Why Are We So Bad at Resolving Conflicts in the Church?

By
Brady Boyd
-
communicating with the unchurched

An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel. – Proverbs 18:19

Some of the best work our enemy does is an inside job.

Christians tend to rally around one another when there is an outside attack or threat, but it seems we do not fare so well when the battle is amongst us.

Where two or more people are gathered, trying to live life together, there is bound to be tension, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, poor communication and what we in the South call fussing.

But we can do better. We must do better.

Here are some practical reminders to begin the journey of healing broken relationships and restoring the unity that is so critical for all of us.

1. Emails are the worst.

Please do not pound out a lengthy email and fire away at your assumed adversary.

Eighty percent of communication is nonverbal, and your emotions and intent cannot be determined by reading words on a screen. What you meant and what is read are usually two different things. Trust me on this.

2. Talk when you are rested.

Make sure you are not tired when you confront someone. For those of you with small children, this may mean you have about a 30-second window for dialogue each day.

Seriously, though, a good night’s sleep always changes your perspective for the better and allows those frothy emotions to simmer and settle a bit.

3. Leave room for enlightenment.

I know this is a long shot, but could there be a slim chance you are the one who is wrong?

I know you won’t believe me, but there was this one time I was wrong and did not know it. OK, actually, it is pretty common for me and probably for you, too. We can learn from every disagreement, and sometimes, being “right” is not as important as we think.

Relationships are hard to get and easy to lose.

4. Pray for God’s eyes.

If we cannot see or imagine anything of worth in the other person, we are not seeing them as God does.

Most of the time, people are hurtful and angry with us because of a wound that happened in their lives long before we met them. Give them grace and space. God is at work in them whether we can see it or not.

5. Ignoring it will not help.

Half the world’s population are introverts and usually get stomach pains when reading these kinds of blogs. Conflict is something they tend to avoid like left over sushi in the fridge.

But the Scriptures are clear, we must go to our brother if we know there is something wrong in the relationship. Avoid passive aggressive behaviors like blog posts, Facebook rants and phone calls to your “prayer” partner. Follow the above steps and then initiate a meeting. The meeting should be face to face if possible, but a phone call to someone a distance away is also good. Use Skype or Facetime so you can see each other.

Unity is a powerful force. With it, we can do most anything. Without it, we are defeated.

Relationships are worth the struggle. In fact, most sincere, long time friendships were forged after two mature people decided to talk to one another instead of hide from one another.

Grow Your Church: 3 By-Law Changes Needed to Break 100, 200, 400 and 600

By
Brian Jones
-
communicating with the unchurched

Are you wanting to grow your church? There are a number of factors that contribute to a church’s inability to grow beyond the 100, 200, 400 and 600 barriers. The last place anyone looks when diagnosing the problem is the first place I go: the church’s by-laws.

I want to know whether or not the church is organizationally structured to facilitate growth. Usually they’re not.

Leaders in these churches try lots of things to bring about growth, but find that nothing really works, blind to the fact that the reason they’re not growing has nothing to do with what they’re doing. It has everything to do with the way they’re organized.

In this article I will share why this is the case, and what you can do to fix this. For the sake of brevity I will use “200” to refer to churches also trying to break the 100, 400 and 600 barriers. “Governing board” refers to your church’s eldership, council, etc.

Here it goes…

Churches Under 200

Here is what the organizational structure of a church under 200 looks like as reflected in their by-laws:

 

[In this picture a governing board of six people run the operations of the church while their Senior Pastor functions as sort of a chaplain, focusing on preaching and caring for people.]

Why did churches under 200 write their by-laws this way?

They wanted to help the Senior Pastor avoid burnout.

One reason a church’s by-laws were written this way is out of a desire to not overburden the Senior Pastor: “Pastor Jim, this is too much for you to handle, so we’ll organize our board to help you. Bill you take children, Jeff you take worship, Larry you’re in charge of youth, etc. This will free you up to just be a pastor.”

They were compensating for a string of Senior Pastors who were weak or unethical leaders.

Another reason a church’s by-laws were written this way is the Senior Pastors the church has had in the past have all been weak leaders, and the governing board members realized that if they didn’t step in and do something, the ship would sink or nothing would get done. On the flip side, if a church had a competent but unethical Senior Pastor, the inevitable reaction was to tighten the reins.

They were compensating for a revolving Senior Pastor door.

Another reason why a church’s by-laws were written this way is the short-term tenure of Senior Pastors. If the lead person changes every two years, churches will instinctively move into the void to bring stability. This is why I believe Pastors must make at least a five-year commitment to a church to lead it through the 200 barrier.

They were misinterpreting Scripture to justify control issues.

The final reason a church’s by-laws were written this way was to mask control issues with the Bible. The New Testament clearly teaches that each local church should be led by a plurality of “Elders” who oversee the church. But it also recognizes that those gifted at leadership, teaching and administrating the church should be encouraged to take a lead role, alongside and under the oversight of the others. Oftentimes a current governing board will misuse scripture to block changes in by-laws, not because there isn’t biblical support for Senior Pastors taking a more dominant servant-leadership role, but because the current members don’t want to lose control.

Days of Doubt, Seasons of Peace

By
Regi Campbell
-
communicating with the unchurched

Years ago, someone close to me was facing a big decision. He wrangled with it for months, leaning one way then the other. One day, he walked out by the water to think and pray. A friend saw him and strolled out to chat. Once he’d shared his dilemma, his friend asked this question, “Do you have days of doubt and seasons of peace? Or days of peace with seasons of doubt?” It was a game-changing question. Soon he knew what to do.

My favorite verse about this says to “let the peace of Christ rule in your heart.” The word “rule” comes from the Greek brabeúo—which means to let the peace of Christ “act as an umpire.” In baseball, the umpire’s word is final. He’s not a mediator…not trying to work it out or find common ground. He’s an arbitrator. He looks at the facts and rules one way or the other. Ball or strike. Out or safe. In this context, peace or not peace. If we let ‘the peace of Christ’ lead us in our decisions, we’ll either have peace or we won’t. If we have peace in our hearts, then we should go for it. If we don’t, we should say ‘no’…

…or we should wait.

Sometimes we don’t have a definite peace in our hearts. We’re torn. I guess it’s a little bit like in football when the referee says “the last play is under review.” We hold the final decision in suspense until we get confirmation. In life, we don’t get an instant replay where we can examine the facts in slow motion. More often, it’s just sitting in the decision for a while…waiting to see how God moves in our hearts. Giving Him room to send the ‘seasons of peace’ and dial down the ‘days of doubt.’

One other piece of the peace…God calls us to peace as ‘members of one body.’ That means to bring trusted advisors into our decisions. If you have a peace but your trusted friend doesn’t, that may be God saying, “Wait a bit…take another look…there might be something you’ve missed.” “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed,” says Proverbs. Failing to seek the counsel of others comes from pride. Again, the Proverbs…“Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

So I’ll ask…are you wrestling with a big decision? Does either option conflict with Scripture? Sometimes that can narrow the options. Does either option create strife with your wife and family? That might make it simpler too. And then of the remaining options, which offers seasons of peace?

Scripture: Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:15)

Mentor Tip: You’re going to be tempted to jump into your guys’ decisions. Don’t. Ask questions, point them to Scripture and tell them relevant stories from your experience.

This article originally appeared here.

What to Say on Sunday: How to Address the Most Recent School Shooting

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

As America mourns more loss of innocent, young life in a senseless school shooting, pastors around the country are thinking about what to say to their congregations on Sunday.

The reaction from many of the pastors we spoke to was the same—“not again”—as they struggled with what to say about God’s love and our culture in the face of such evil.

All of the pastors we spoke to were planning to address the shooting in their Sunday worship services.  

The school shooting occurred as Corky Calhoun, the Senior Pastor of Georgianna United Methodist Church in Merritt Island Florida, was preparing for a Lenten service of repentance.  He sent an email to his congregants that will also be the basis for his remarks on Sunday. He titled the email Solidarity in Suffering.  

“The Bible tells us that the enemy comes to steal and destroy, but I want to assure us all, that the enemy does not get the last word. I have been focused today on Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and rescues these who are crushed in spirit” (NLT). I think broken hearted and a crushed spirit adequately describes what many of us are feeling right now, but I also know the Lord is close!

I have been in contact with pastors and leaders I know in Broward County and have pledged our commitment to stand in solidarity with them as we suffer this violation together. Prayer is what binds us and allows to us to enter the pain of one another. So, I am asking you, our church family to be in prayer for the Parkland community, as they begin the long journey of grief. May the God of all comfort, hope and peace greet the victim’s families with each new hour.”

Pastor Calhoun serves as a volunteer Chaplain with the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office.

Pastors Ask for Prayer after School Shooting

Prayer is on the mind of Dr. Ronnie Floyd, President of the National Day of Prayer and Senior Pastor at Cross Church in Springdale, Arkansas.  He said he’ll call the church to prayer for those affected by the tragedy in Florida and move congregants to pray for the schools, faculty members and administrators of all schools in their region.

Ben Brooks pastors Westside Oaks in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He’ll also be emphasizing prayer “asking for God’s mercy and comfort to rest on those affected by the shooting as well as praying, ‘Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven’”

He wants those in his church to believe that their prayers have the power to prevent this from happening again and the power to shift something in society that is allowing evil to run rampant.

Some pastors might be wondering if they should mention the tragedy.  Retired pastor, Dr. Joe McKeever, said in 1995, the Sunday after the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, he was out of town so a guest speaker was in the pulpit.

“The next week I received an angry letter from someone who had visited in our congregation that day. ‘Not a thing was said from the pulpit about that,’” the letter read. “And she felt it showed a complete disconnection of our leadership with what was happening in the world.”

He cautions many in the congregation will conclude the pastor’s silence might mean he doesn’t care adding “that’s an awful indictment against a spiritual leader.”

Pastor Daniel Fusco of Crossroads Community Church in Portland, Oregon, agrees pastors need to address this tragedy with their congregation, but not to spend the whole sermon on it. “The thing to emphasize in the midst of tragedy is the gospel,” Fusco asserts. “The problem is sin. The solution to sin is the gospel,” he goes on, emphasizing a pastor’s obligation to preach the gospel this Sunday. He adds to these comments in a Facebook video. 

Adding Actions to Prayers

In addition to praying, Thomas McKenzie, Pastor of Church of the Redeemer in Nashville, Tennessee, wants his church to take an active role in seeking repentance.    

“Events like this, along with other horrors such as abortion, the death penalty, the high rates of suicide and the opioid crisis, are part of the American culture of death. Our culture accepts these things as the price of our selfishness lifestyles. If it were not so, we would repent and seek to change. But we don’t. So I need to repent of my participation in the Culture of Death, and I called upon my congregation to do likewise. As we ourselves are repentant, we can do the hard work of taking a message of Life in Christ to others. The message of Life must stand against the death cult that we find around us.”

Greg Stier is all too familiar with school shootings.  The Columbine High School Massacre caused him to leave the ministry. His wife is a public school teacher in the same school district as Columbine and he knew many teens who went to Columbine.

5 Ways to Shift Your Worship Team Culture

By
David Santistevan
-
communicating with the unchurched

We talk a lot about passion. Having a passionate worship team. But is that really enough?

I have a feeling it’s not. And I think you might agree.

There’s a few goals that rise above for me:

  • Having a fire for Jesus behind & beyond the stage.
  • A steady, daily gaze into His Word.
  • A heart that trusts His goodness through trials.
  • A team that loves the church, not just their opportunity to play.

I’ll take that any day over a charismatic bass player who has cool hair and good stage presence. Of course, cool hair and good stage presence isn’t the devil. I work on my hair and my stage presence, though some may contest! These things aren’t mutually exclusive. But it’s important for us to create a culture where a fire of Jesus is cultivated off the stage. We need to do more than just call for energy, stage presence and leadership of songs.

Because here’s the reality—if you have a person on fire for the glory of God in the secret place, it’s going to show in their leadership on the platform. It will. It might not be mosh pits, backflips and sprints across the stage, but a fire for His presence will release an authority in worship that is better than just manufactured stage presence.

And isn’t that what we’re after? An authority that comes from knowing God—his voice, his heart, his will, his way—not just charismatic personality skills on the stage.

If you capture one idea from this article, make it this: Stop focusing on passion. Build a culture of integrity.

Are you tired of a floundering team? Do you want a culture you are proud of—one that outlasts you? Growth is not an overnight process. It takes intentionality and time.

If you’re a parent, you know this. The two-year-old stage can feel like 10 years of torture. But then all of a sudden, they’re so grown up. All of a sudden, it feels quick.

It’s the same with your team. When you start to change the culture, you will face resistance. You’ll be tempted to give up and just dial in Sunday mornings. It feels like an eternity of zero progress. But over time, your faithfulness will turn into growth, fruit and maturity.

Believe it. And get started now with a culture of integrity.

5 Ways to Create a Culture of Integrity

Here’s how to get started:

1.Spend Time in His Presence…Together – Seriously. How can you expect to lead people into His presence as a team if you’re not going there together? Go deep. If you’re strapped for time as a team, don’t cut corners here. Build this into your rehearsal. Worship without instruments in a circle. Worship on stage in rehearsal as a band. Teach your team how to linger, how to pray, how to hear his voice in worship.

2. Create a Challenging Environment – Always be pushing people to the next level. Oftentimes, we only go there musically. We talk about musical excellence, preparation and creativity. Drummers need to get better on the click. Guitar players need to work on their parts and their tone. Vocalists need to stop looking bored. We know this.

But what if you created a culture of spiritual invitation? An atmosphere where it was difficult to exist if you weren’t intense about your pursuit of Jesus. Imagine that. I think we often get nervous issuing such a challenge. But people will rise to the occasion if you cast the vision and pastorally lead. No doubt.

3. Don’t Get Too Busy for One on Ones – When your team is small, it’s easier to meet with people one on one. But soon your team grows and you also begin to grow apart from your people. Resist this urge. Find a way to give people one-on-one attention, even if it means raising up other leaders to help shoulder this. It’s important. Without it, misunderstanding can flourish. Gossip can win the day. A healthy one on one can turn harbored frustration into a good conversation and a healthy relationship. Seek peace with everyone on your team.

4. Create a Culture Schedule – What doesn’t get scheduled doesn’t get done. Too often we craft mission statements and vision points only to see them hang on a wall that never gets looked at. If those statements don’t reach your calendar, it will never happen. Your vision needs to become an appointment. Your mission needs to be a task. I know this doesn’t sound very exciting, but it’s the only way your team will accomplish anything and the only way you’ll see momentum begin to shift.

Have a vision for discipleship? How are you scheduling that into your work day and team calendar? Want to write more songs? How are you scheduling that into your work day and team events?

5. Resist Rules…for Now – High standards without an environment of acceptance, love & vision almost feels like legalism. It’s like the worst form of Christianity—telling people what they shouldn’t do but casting no vision for the glory of God. A heart in love with Jesus is a heart set on righteousness. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards and team rules. But don’t start there. If a new team member joins your team don’t just shove a behavior list in their face. Begin to cultivate the ground of honor, love, fear and respect for the Majesty of God. A massive view of God overwhelms the petty issues.

Isn’t this what we’re after? We’re leaders for the long game, not the quick compliment.

Don’t we want to make disciples across generations?

Aren’t we leaders in order to bring change?

Let’s dialogue. How have you created a culture of integrity in your team? What has worked or not worked for you?

This article originally appeared here.

Grab Kids With Fascination

By
Tina Houser
-
communicating with the unchurched

There’s no doubt that you can learn without being fascinated—say it repeatedly or listen to someone talk, talk, talk. But, it is GUARANTEED, yes guaranteed, that you’ll learn something when you’re fascinated. These are the “Oh my goodness” moments. “I didn’t know that.” “I’ve never seen that.” “How does that work?” “How did you do that?” (Read those first two sentences again and grab onto the difference.)

So, why are we doing the same things over and over and over again when we teach kids in the church? If kids (actually people of all ages) learn every time they are fascinated, then we need to make it a goal to use fascination as a tool to draw kids into the Word of God. That means not doing it the same every time.

Being fascinated focuses your attention. Have you ever been delayed in a traffic jam for an hour…or two? Of course you have! More than likely the reason for that delay was that there was an accident and everyone wanted a chance to take in the scene when they finally got close. A flood of questions went through each passerby’s brain as they observed the flashing lights, car in the ditch and the contents of a truck scattered on the ground. Although it was terribly unfortunate circumstances, people were nonetheless fascinated. It was unusual. It was something they didn’t understand. It put their curiosity on high alert. They had questions. They wanted to know more. Those are the characteristics of fascination.

It only makes sense that if we create an environment where fascination is everywhere that kids will grasp that we serve a fascinating God! So, how do we go about incorporating fascination as we challenge kids to live a life where Jesus is Savior and Lord? Seriously, I could spew out ideas the rest of the day on this, but let’s just hone in on a few specific areas.

Science Experiments

We often talk about the most difficult group to engage being 3rd, 4th and 5th grade boys. They could be off in no-where-land, engulfed in their handheld device, or bouncing off the walls…but when you introduce a science experiment, they’ll lose all interest in what they were doing. Eyes will be glued on what could happen next. Our purpose, though, is not to teach the science. Our purpose is to draw kids to the Word of God, and now that you have their attention and created fascination, encourage them to voice their observations—the characteristics of the experiment. Take those observations and then increase the challenge by asking them to relate what they observed to a spiritual truth. Of course, you’ll have something in mind—a direction you’d like to go—but don’t discount that they may see something completely different and it is totally valid. Connect a fascinating experiment to Scripture and you’ve given kids a visual that won’t easily fade from memory.

Live and In-Person Experiences

Showing a photo of what you’re talking about is always helpful. But, what if you had the actual item or person, instead of the photo? What if kids could touch the object and turn it to look at all sides? What if they could ask questions of the actual person, like a ballerina or firefighter? That takes it to an entirely different level—to a fascinating level.

A friend of mine posted a photo on Facebook of her three children watching the tow truck load their family van to transport it to the repair shop. She said the event took over an hour and the kids stood at attention in the grass at the edge of the driveway mesmorized the entire time. Which is more fascinating? Showing a picture of a tow truck or watching one load a vehicle on the back? It was a live experience. Now, I’m not saying you need to bring a real tow truck into your classroom (although I bet some of you are trying to figure out how right now), but anytime you can go the extra step by taking a photo and making it a live experience, you have created fascination.

Storytelling

We have the greatest story to tell—God’s story and how we can be part of it. His story is told with giant warriors, loaves of bread, jars of oil, on a mountaintop, in the belly of a fish, from jail, and on and on. God let His creativity go absolutely crazy when telling His story. So should ours! Want to see eyes get big? Want to fascinate? Turn out the lights and tell the mysterious story of Nicodemus going to Jesus in the middle of the night, but do it using blacklight figures. Bring in Abraham, in full garb, to amaze the kids as he tries to count the stars in the sky that represent his descendants. Take kids out under a tree where they’ll look up and find Zacchaeus perched on a limb recalling the day his life changed. Make it fascinating so they’ll fall in the love with the Word.

I’ll be the first to admit that fascinating takes extra time and energy. But, it makes teaching so much more memorable and fun—for both students and teachers! When kids chatter to their parents later in the day about what they did while with you, you’ve achieved fascination. So, how are you going to fascinate your kids this week?

This article originally appeared here.

Recovering the Cure of Souls

By
Jared C. Wilson
-
communicating with the unchurched

From my ministry vantage point at Midwestern Seminary and in getting to travel quite a bit and meet young and aspiring pastors around the world, I have been greatly encouraged by the increasing sense of what I can only call the “pastoral temperament” I sense among the younger generation. What I mean is, I sense—and I hope that I’m right—that something that has come alongside the gospel recovery movement is not just a recovery of theology, expositional preaching, missional church planting and the like but also a recovery of the active and intentional shepherding of the people of God.

Our ancestors used to call this intentionally relational shepherding “the curing of souls.”

A lot of us still remember the winning of souls, and we employ that concept in a variety of ways, from end-of-service invitations to door-to-door evangelism or gospel sharing in backyards and coffee shops and airplane seats. But the curing of souls has fallen on hard times. You get the impression from some church promotional material that our only job is to win the soul, and then the soul is really sort of left on its own. But Jesus did not say to go out into all the world and make converts of all peoples; he said to make disciples. And this means the pastoral enterprise cannot begin and end with public proclamation and private planning—it must be applied in personal care. As John Piper has famously warned us: “Brothers, we are not professionals.”

The phrase in question is antiquated today, of course—curing souls may conjure up the image for some of an old-timey physician or apothecary promising some magical elixir for our spiritual maladies. But while the wording may be old-fashioned, I certainly hope the concept is not.

To those in the church committed not just to preaching and teaching and prayer—the primary tasks of the church elder, to be sure—but also to home and hospital visitation, counseling, personal discipleship—to helping people think and helping people live and helping people die—I want to offer my warmest thanks and profoundest salute. And to those who would seem to be falling behind in this vital area, I hope what follows will serve as a gracious exhortation to repentance.

In 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, the apostle Paul writes:

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

The nursing mother, of course, is not the dominant model of the pastoral vocation marketed today. I have never seen a ministry conference advertised called “The Pastor as Nursing Mother.” But this is exactly the image that Paul here is introducing as emblematic of the pastoral task.

Why does he use this maternal image to reflect “being affectionately desirous” of this flock and “sharing not only the gospel but his very self” with them? For at least three reasons:

1. Godly pastoral care is the overflow of love.

I didn’t nurse my children of course, but I do remember getting up with them in the middle of the night and preparing a bottle and feeding and rocking them. As fussy and inconsolable as babies can be, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more connected to my daughters than when cradling them up close, feeding them, singing to them, rocking them, soothing them. I often started that routine in an exasperated, frustrated way, but I almost never ended it that way.

Something spiritual happens when we get up close, share meals with our people, weep with them, remind them gently of the gospel, listen to their stores, hold their hands when they’re hurting or dying. You cannot experience this if you see the people of your church as projects, not people. You cannot experience this if your ministry is driven largely out of ambition or aspiration. It must be driven by love.

Paul calls this love “affectionate desire.” When Jesus looked out at the crowd and said that they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd, he was broken inside over them. If you struggle to feel this way about your church, ask yourself why. Ask God to help you. And then put yourself in positions to have your heart shaped more toward them. This is why Paul describes it as “gentle,” and why one of the biblical qualifications for eldership is “gentleness.” It’s also part of the fruit of the Spirit. So if you’re not a gentle person, not only are you disqualifying yourself from ministry, you have reason to test your salvation to see if you are in the faith.

2. Godly pastoral care is an act of nurture.

The nursing mom is feeding her child. She isn’t neglectful. She isn’t outsourcing the work. Remember that Jesus didn’t say to Peter, “Teach the sheep to self-feed.” He said, “Feed my lambs.”

Pastor, do not look at your church primarily as a recruiting station or an event center or a spiritual production, but as a pasture where the sheep are nourished.

And you must take care what you feed your sheep with. If you want them to be nourished, built up in their faith and empowered to follow Christ day by day, you must feed them grace. The finished work of Christ announced in the gospel is the only power prescribed in the Scriptures for growth in godliness. You can’t inject anything into the law that will make it do what the simple, pure feast of the gospel will. Make sure you provide enough feed in the gospel that they never lack the sustenance they need to live and grow.

The Power of a Campaign for Revival and Spiritual Awakening

By
Rick Warren
-
communicating with the unchurched

If God allowed you to baptize hundreds of new believers, add hundreds of new members and increase your average attendance by thousands in just 40 days, would you call that a revival?

If, during those same 40 days, God prompted people in your church who were previously uninvolved to start serving in ministry, and caused others to commit to a world missions project, what would you call that? An awakening?

What term would you use if God led your members to become so concerned for their spiritually lost friends that they convinced their neighbors to study the Bible for six weeks in one of thousands of small groups meeting in homes around your city? A miracle?

Well, whatever you call it, all this has actually happened at Saddleback Church during the various campaigns we’ve conducted over the years, and we stand in awe at what God has done. And God has repeatedly worked through campaigns hosted by thousands of churches around the world in similar ways.

Untold thousands have come to Christ and have been baptized, welcomed into church membership, connected to a small group or Sunday School class, taught the meaning of real worship and fellowship, equipped for ministry, and then sent out for their mission in the world. Troubled marriages have been healed, broken relationships between church members have been restored, and a new spirit of unity, vision and purpose has swept through many congregations.

What is behind this wonderful movement of God?

The Bible says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1 NIV). Days—and even months—of prayer, seeking and fasting prepared these churches for what God wanted to do in their midst.

But it takes more than prayer to reach, equip and send out disciples into the harvest.

It takes a biblical strategy.

I’d like to share four reasons campaigns have been so effective at Saddleback and beyond:

The Principle of Concentrated Focus

During our campaigns, the entire church—every age group, every ministry, every small group and every service—focuses on a particular spiritual emphasis. All extraneous meetings and emphases are eliminated for six weeks while we concentrate on this one thing. In the introduction of my book The Purpose Driven Life, I explain the biblical and strategic significance of a 40-day emphasis.

The Principle of Multiple Reinforcements

During a campaign, we communicate truth repeatedly in various ways:

  1. A weekly message by the pastor,
  2. A personal daily devotional reading,
  3. A weekly Scripture memory verse that everyone memorizes,
  4. A weekly small group or Sunday School lesson,
  5. A weekly email of encouragement, and
  6. Various social media posts.

The same truths are taught in different formats. This allows the truths to sink deeper into hearts, which is essential for any permanent life change.

The Principle of Behavioral Teaching

Biblical preaching—the kind that changes lives and families and churches—teaches people to be “doers of the Word, not hearers only.” Interpretation without application simply creates an audience with overdeveloped ears and heads, but no hearts, hands or feet to act like Jesus. Each of the messages during a campaign is designed to call people to specific commitments.

The Principle of Exponential Thinking

This is thinking so big that it demands that you depend on God to see it happen. It’s what I call “the faith factor.” You attempt to do something so big that it can’t be accomplished by human effort alone. It requires a miracle. Jesus said, “According to your faith let it be done to you” (Matthew 9:29 NIV).

In exponential thinking, you add a zero to your goal. For instance, if you have five Sunday school classes or small groups, you ask, “What if we prayed and worked to start 50 classes or groups? What would that require?”

Exponential thinking stretches your faith, your creativity and your dependence on God. We haven’t always reached every goal we’ve set, but we always end up with far more growth than we would have otherwise.

For years, we’ve watched God use these principles to grow people, groups and Saddleback Church. Kingdom principles produce Kingdom growth. When we align ourselves with God’s Kingdom agenda—the five purposes we were created and placed on this earth to fulfill—God does marvelous things.

Saddleback stands ready to partner with you, just as we have with thousands of other congregations of all sizes and locations.

This article originally appeared here.

Are We Building Worshipers … or Fans?

By
David Santistevan
-
communicating with the unchurched

After hearing of the dissemination of Mars Hill Church after Mark Driscoll’s resignation, my heart sank.

It’s sad to see an organization rise and fall on the personality of one leader.

Sure, there were other factors involved. But all of that has been teaching me lessons on how to be a better worship leader. If I’m a leader of worship, my goal is to lead people away from dependence on me and to deeper dependence on the Holy Spirit—teaching them how to lead themselves in worship.

I’m asking these questions:

  • How equipped is my congregation to worship when crisis hits?
  • How equipped is my congregation to worship when they are promoted?
  • How equipped is my congregation to worship when they receive a bad diagnosis?
  • How equipped is my congregation to worship when Monday comes?
  • How equipped is my congregation to worship without songs, engaging atmospheres and powerful performances?

I always long for worship to be more than simply songs and services and experiences. It’s so much more about what happens on Monday morning than what happens on stage. It’s more about prioritizing God’s presence in the day to day.

Steal the Show

But oftentimes … my leadership style makes the congregation of worshipers dependent on me. But if worship is a 24/7 activity, wouldn’t it make sense that we equip our people to be worshipers as they leave just as much as we encourage them to engage in corporate singing?

Sadly, worship often doesn’t happen unless there’s the right song, the right band, the right keyboard pad, the proper drum groove, the perfect alignment of melody and harmony.

But here’s what I’m discovering: The best worship leaders lead people to connect with God on their own. It’s not so much about how many fans a worship leader has or how many people love their ministry. It’s …

Are people learning how to worship?

Are they pursuing Jesus outside of church?

Are they taking steps to raise their voice, declare what’s in their heart and sing out of their pain?

When it comes down to it, I don’t want to leave people in awe of me.

I want to give people the tools they need to lead themselves in worship—follow the Holy Spirit in their everyday lives. The age of celebrity church leaders needs to die.

We need leaders who are willing to labor and strive to leave people with a greater taste of God’s goodness. A greater perspective of His glory. A higher vision of Majesty.

Fans or Worshipers?

You know what’s an interesting thought?

If the only spiritual input people received in my church was my worship leading, how close to Jesus would they be? Or would they simply be my fans and need me to lead them?”

Are we building fan-bases or worshipers? Are we fostering discipleship or entertainment?

It comes down to how you lead.

Being more aware of God’s presence than you are of your own performance.

Prioritizing the raised voice of your congregation over the pumping creativity of your band.

Choosing songs people connect with over songs that you sound good singing.

Let’s labor to develop worshipers—worshipers who love Jesus and know that He is all they need.

Five Major Questions and Answers About Losing Church Members

By
Thom Rainer
-
communicating with the unchurched

I still have painful memories about the first time I experienced losing church members as a pastor. I took it personally. Too much so. In fact, I didn’t handle the situation with much maturity at all.

But it’s still a common concern I hear every week. Allow me, then, to address the five most common questions I get about losing church members.

1. Why do they leave? There are three broad categories of church members who depart. The “movers” are relocating to another community. They are common in our transient culture. The “dropouts” stop attending church altogether. Third, the “transfers” move to another church in the community. The dropouts typically leave because they were not connected in the church. The transfers move for a myriad of reasons, some legitimate, but some are self-serving. Those in the self-serving category typically see church as more of a country club where they pay their dues and get their perks. If they don’t get the perks the way they expect (if they don’t get their way), they will move to another country club church.

2. Should I contact the disgruntled members who leave? That’s a tough one to give a uniform answer. On the one hand, it helps to find out why people leave so we can make legitimate changes and improvements. On the other hand, listening to a series of self-serving complaints can be a draining distraction.

3. Should I do anything about a member who is moving to another community?Absolutely! You should view that departing member as a missionary sent by your church to another area. Some churches actually have commissioning services and commissioning certificates. It is a really healthy process to send a member. Indeed, you begin to view them as “sent” rather than those who “left.”

4. Other than members who move out of the community, what can I do to reduce the loss or inactivity of members? Remember, the more a member is involved and connected to others, the more likely he or she is to remain active within your church. You should be moving all your members to groups. You should seek to get members involved in ministry. And you should exhort your members to give as an act of stewardship and discipleship.

5. Losing a member makes me feel sick. Am I alone in my feelings? Not at all. You are among the majority of pastors who have the same feelings. Accept your pain as real and common, and then channel those feelings to lead your church to become more effective at assimilation and discipleship.

These are the type of questions we answer every day, almost every hour, at Church Answers. If you are interested in becoming a part of the largest ongoing gathering of church leaders in the world, you can join us during this brief seven-day registration period.

Thank you, pastors and church leaders, for your ministries, and lives. You are truly my heroes!

This article originally appeared here.

Why Your Pastor Isn’t as Good as Those Professional Speakers

By
Joe McKeever
-
communicating with the unchurched

What’s the difference between a speaker vs pastor?

On a website devoted to professional speakers, the author gave advice about “that great killer story you love to tell,” and then “the heart-rending windup.” I imagine every speaker wants one each of those in his messages.

Then, the blogger dropped the bomb.

“After you get your speech down pat and you’ve given it a number of times and feel you’re effective, it’s time to start working on speech number two.”

I laughed out loud.

Speech number two?

These guys have one speech? One??? And then, when all is going well, they add one more?

Pardon me while I sit down.

Speaker vs Pastor

Do you know how often a pastor speaks? How many sermons of 20 to 30 minutes or more he gives every year? If he speaks twice a week and accepts a few other invites along the way, that’s easily a hundred sermons in one year.

The professional speaker then dropped a second bomb. “Sometimes you’ll find some guy on the circuit who says he can speak on anything! He lists 25 subjects on which he’s capable. But don’t be fooled,” he says. “No one can do that. This guy is claiming something no one can do and do it well.”

No one can speak effectively on 25 subjects?

But your pastor does it all the time. And not just 25 subjects. He has all the subjects. All of life. Nothing is off limits to him.

OK. Two different animals, professional speakers and preachers, right? But you’d be amazed at the pressure on the preacher to sound like the pro, and the perfectionism we put on ourselves when we don’t.

Have You Noticed This Subtle Trend in the Fastest Growing Churches in the Country?

By
Rich Birch
-
communicating with the unchurched

Church leaders who are wanting to make a difference in their communities are always studying what is happening at prevailing churches. I’m sure you’ve taken time to learn from the church across town that is trying some new stuff and seeing what you can apply to your church. At unSeminary, a huge part of the reason we host the podcast every week is to expose you to church leaders from growing churches.

In fact, we’ve focused on the fastest growing churches in the country because we want your church to grow more. Ninety-four percent of the churches in the country are losing ground against the growth of the communities they serve. [ref] We’ve taken a keen interest in the 6 percent of churches that are bucking this trend and we spend a lot of time and energy talking with you about what they do because we want all of our churches to learn from them.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve noticed a subtle trend in the fastest growing churches in the country. These churches mobilize their people to get out of their seats and serve on the streets of the community. Prevailing churches take the mass engagement of people toward acts of service in their community very seriously. More than just simply “social justice,” these initiatives are getting high percentages of people directly involved in making a difference.

Rather than just a fringe dynamic in a few churches, you can see this trend in all kinds of churches that are making a huge difference. In fact, recently I just flipped through a list of the fastest growing churches in the country and did a quick dive onto their websites to see if I could find this trend, and sure enough, it just kept coming up time and again; below are some examples of what I found:

Examples of Fast Growing Churches Employing Mass Community Service Experiences

Crossroads Church in Cincinnati hosts a large-scale Thanksgiving Food Drive. Just last year, they brought in enough food for over 60,000 Thanksgiving dinners. They’ve also taken on the churchwide responsibility of sponsoring over 6,000 children in a developing country. This church has been declared to be the fastest-growing church in America for two years in a row by Outreach Magazine, which shouldn’t come as a surprise when you see a church doing so many good things in the community.

Red Rocks Church in Littleton, Colorado, runs an event called Hope for the Holidays, which is essentially a gift drive and wrapping event. The church and the community wrap up and deliver thousands of gifts every year to various social service agencies in the community. The church also runs a prison ministry known as God Behind Bars in which the men of the church bring the hope of Jesus to the prisoners.

The Traders Point Church in Indianapolis, Indiana, runs a special needs prom where they annually help young adults who could never go to a prom to experience one. This particular prom requires three to four volunteers for every guest that comes; it literally requires more volunteers than the number of guests in order to run smoothly. That night, you get an opportunity to see the last become the first. (Plus, it looks like so much fun…when Jesus is around there always seems to be a party close by!)

The Eastside Church in Anaheim, California, is one of the fastest growing churches in the country and has even won that title for multiple years in a row. Compassion is listed as the top priority and concern on this church’s website. It’s right up there with messages and giving. In fact, this church has done so much community outreach that a documentary called Bravely Forward is now being put together to tell the story of all the various things that this church has accomplished.

The Next Level Church has locations all across New England; in a part of a world where frankly the church just doesn’t exactly grow, this church is exploding and launching new campuses all the time. They did a gas buy-down event where they offered gas for 80 percent of the normal price at a time when the price of gas was very high. Their lead pastor, Josh Gagnon, said, “God said it’s better to give than it is to receive,” and they realized how important something like gas can be; so, when the price was high, the church mobilized its people and its financial resources to make a difference in such a practical way.

After Facebook—Your Church Needs to Be on These Social Media Platforms

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

Lesser known social media platforms are gaining on Facebook. Last year, Facebook lost 2.8 million users. 2018 doesn’t look much better with the research firm eMarketer estimating another 2.1 million Facebook users under the age of 25 will move to other social media platforms.

The numbers might cause churches to rethink their love of Facebook.  

According to a recent LifeWay study, 84 percent of churches have a Facebook page to inform the congregation, recruit volunteers, let people know about their ministries and even give financially. Such a dramatic decline in Facebook users means the church’s social media efforts will likely be impacted if their only social media platform is Facebook.

While Facebook is the 800 pound gorilla in the room, there are alternatives. This year, Instagram will add 1.6 million users younger than 24, while Snapchat will add 1.9 million, eMarketer says. Those are social media platforms that LifeWay research found churches are not using.

But different platforms come with different strategies. Here are a few ideas if your church is considering branching out.

Alternative Social Media Platforms

Elevation Church uses Instagram for the usual purposes such as promoting an upcoming series or event, showing off the church or recapping something that has already happened. But every week or so, they drop a fresh set of phone backgrounds, and instead of driving you to a website, you only have to hold down on the screen and take a screenshot to get your new wallpaper.

And you can also play the game, “Can you guess this sermon series?” It’s produced sporadically and gives viewers an interactive element to their Instagram that causes everyone to engage automatically.

Hillsong Church NYC uses captions to share stories. Instagram is all about pictures but captions can be impactful. Sometimes the pictures and captions talk about a sermon, others tell the stories of others.

Vous Church wants its Instagram followers to know that its culture is all about its people. There’s not a lot of sermon series promos, shots of the stage or social cards, it’s just a lot of great Kodak moments from around the church plus events with their people.

Brandon Swain, the Youth Pastor at Lakeshore Baptist Church in Cicero, N.Y., gives three reasons why churches should be on Snapchap.

  1. Snapchap hits the demographic that Facebook is losing: youth and young adults. The platform boasts 100 million users with more than 70 percent under 34; 45 percent between 18-24.
  2. Snapchat encourages authenticity. It gives people a window into your organizations day-to-day operations.
  3. Snapchat has one of the best ROI’s. Snapchat allows you to create filters that impose over people’s snaps with your custom-designed messaging for a small fee. On-Demand filters equip your audience to share your visuals with their friends. The amount of reach you can get with a small upload fee is outstanding.

Whatever your social media strategy and platform, the experts say keep the content fresh and mix it up daily to get your users coming back often to see what’s new.

These Are Social Media Legal Issues Your Church Needs to Know

1...1,0721,0731,074...1,190Page 1,073 of 1,190
855,266FansLike

New Articles

New Podcasts

Joby Martin

Joby Martin: What Happens When Pastors Finally Understand Grace

Jessica Lea -
Joby Martin joins “The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast” to discuss what happens when a church leader has truly been run over by the “grace train" and understands the profound love and grace of God.
Jennie Allen

Best of 2024—Jennie Allen: Why Church Leaders Need To Pay Attention...

Jon Acuff

Best of 2024: Jon Acuff—How To Pursue Success Without Destroying Your...

Libin Abraham

Libin Abraham on God’s Surprising Job Description for the Pastor

ChurchLeaders.com is dedicated to resourcing, informing, and connecting a community of church leaders for greater Kingdom impact worldwide.
Contact us: support@churchleaders.com

Company

Trending

Popular Categories

© ChurchLeaders