Pastor John Gray to Ransomware Attackers: ‘Leave the Things of God Alone’

May 8, 2023

John Gray, senior pastor of Relentless Church in Greenville, South Carolina, has vowed not to let a recent ransomware attack impede his ministry. After the nondenominational megachurch faced an April 29 online breach, it enlisted a security team to investigate and to protect private information.

Nearby Spartanburg County was also targeted by a ransomware attack recently, but authorities haven’t indicated if the cases are connected.

John Gray: ‘You’re Attacking the God That We Serve’

During a ransomware attack, perpetrators threaten victims by blocking, publishing, or corrupting their data unless a ransom is paid. Relentless Church hasn’t indicated what type of data might have been targeted and/or compromised—or what type of ransom was demanded (or whether the church paid it).

“We are very confident that our data is secured, and our congregation’s information is protected,” Pastor Gray said in a statement. He also indicated that malicious entities would not intimidate or slow down the church. “We’re going to continue with ministry as usual,” he said, “and we’re not going to allow this to stop us or hinder us in any way.”

To the people or group responsible for the ransomware attack, Gray said, “Anyone who would seek to harm a church, you’re not attacking us. You’re attacking the God that we serve, and you don’t want to go against him.” The pastor added, “If I were you, I’d leave the things of God alone, and make an honest living instead of trying to steal from people who are doing their best to live a right, upright life.”

Data Breach Can Be ‘Catastrophic’

Speaking to TV station WYFF4, technology expert Danny Tang said, “People think [ransomware] attacks happen from some guy in the basement with a screen of code coming down typing away, penetrating some technology with their technical expertise. That’s usually not how this happens. It happens through an email that comes from a malicious actor pretending to be someone that the recipient trusts.”

Although ransomware attacks are on the rise, churches don’t usually tend to be victimized, according to Tang. That doesn’t mean congregations shouldn’t be prepared, however. “In the event of a breach, it can be very catastrophic for an organization,” Tang said. He recommends treating any suspicious-looking emails with care, verifying information by calling the sender, and backing up vital data on an additional, off-site server.

Scott Sauls, Author and Nashville Pastor, Placed on Indefinite Leave of Absence

Bob Smietana

May 8, 2023

(RNS) — The Rev. Scott Sauls, an influential evangelical Christian pastor and author, has been placed on an indefinite leave of absence from the Nashville church he has pastored since 2012.

His leave was announced Sunday (May 7) during a member meeting at Christ Presbyterian, a prominent Presbyterian Church in America congregation.

In a video message to the congregation, Sauls apologized for an unhealthy leadership style that harmed the people who worked for him and the church.

“I verbalized insensitive and verbal criticism of others’ work,” he said, according to a recording of the meeting shared with Religion News Service. “I’ve used social media and the pulpit to quiet dissenting viewpoints. I’ve manipulated facts to support paths that I desire.”

Sauls made clear he had not been involved in any sexual sin or substance abuse. He said that he would seek counseling and repentance during his leave and that he hoped to someday reconcile with the people he had harmed.

“I am grieved to say that I have hurt people,” he said. “I want to say to all of you that I am sorry.”

The leave comes after an investigation by Christ Presbyterian itself and by the Nashville Presbytery of the Presbyterian Church in America. That investigation was prompted by a letter sent from a number of former Christ Presbyterian staffers who raised concerns about Sauls’ conduct as a leader.

During Sunday’s Christ Presbyterian meeting, members also heard from the church’s elders, who said they hoped the leave would to healing and reconciliation. The elders also admitted their own shortcomings in allowing an unhealthy culture on the church’s staff.

Sauls’ standing as a pastor will also be reviewed at an upcoming meeting of the Nashville Presbytery. According to the denomination’s rules, he is considered a “teaching elder” whose status as a minister is overseen by that local presbytery. That presbytery will have the final say over the length and conditions of Sauls’ leave.

Neil Spence, a PCA pastor and Stated Clerk of the Nashville Presbytery, said in an email that Sauls is a member of the group and in good standing.

He had no comment about Sauls’ situation when asked to confirm whether the Presbytery would address his status as a pastor. He did explain some of the presbytery’s processes.

“Nashville Presbytery will meet soon to deal with any matters properly brought before us,” he said in an email. “Presbytery as a whole will decide whether a censure such as suspension from office is warranted. It would be imprudent for me to try to predict what Presbytery will do.”

John Blake, Journalist on Religion and Race, Goes Personal With New Memoir

Adelle M Banks

May 8, 2023

(RNS) — Journalist John Blake, who has long written about religion and race in America, decided it was time to write about his personal story at the intersection of faith and color.

The author of “More than I Imagined: What a Black Man Discovered About the White Mother He Never Knew” recounts how multiracial churches helped lead him to learn to love and forgive the white side of his family.

Such lessons about race, says the CNN senior writer and producer, should be heeded by churches across the country.

“Let’s be blunt about it: It’s really about white churches dealing with their racism,” he said in an interview. “If white leaders are willing to share power, I know they can be successful because I’ve seen them do it. They will not survive if they don’t learn how to accept and integrate nonwhite Christians into their communities of worship.”

Blake, 58, a member of a Presbyterian Church (USA) congregation in Atlanta, talked with Religion News Service about why he decided to reveal his story and how he hopes to model how the church and the country can overcome racial division.

“We really need to tell these stories about hope because I feel like there’s a lot of Americans now who have given up on any kind of racial transformation and believe racism is just a permanent part of American life.”

The interview was edited for length and clarity.

When you were a child, your typically nonreligious father placed you in a foster home that he considered a gift from God, but you described it as a vile, hate-filled place. How did that experience affect your sense of God?

It was hard to believe in God as a kid when you have this entire side of your family who wants no contact with you. I’m staying in these foster homes and always wondering: Where is my mom, and where is her family? However, it was in those foster homes that I was introduced to the power of the Black church, and that gave me spiritual tools to cope with a lot of what I was dealing with, and it would later give me spiritual tools to reconcile with the white members of my family — the focus on how do you deal with suffering, how to be resilient, how to still have joy, how to still have hope for tomorrow.

You wrote of growing up with hostility toward white people, saying, “It’s easier to despise a group of people you have no personal contact with.” How does that relate to your becoming a “closeted biracial person,” who didn’t want to acknowledge that your mother was white?

When I grew up in this all-Black neighborhood in Baltimore that would later become the setting for the HBO series “The Wire,” nobody came to me and said, “You should hate white people.” They didn’t have to. It was just in the environment. It was like humidity. I couldn’t help but absorb it. Because of that, I didn’t want anyone to know I had a white mother. It was a mark of shame, and so I would mark her race as “Black” on school forms.

Pat, left, and John Blake with their mother, Shirley Dailey. Courtesy of John Blake

You mentioned that you were drawn to the stories of Jesus and his “obliterating any divisions — ethnic, gender, class — that stood between people.” Did your study of the Bible help you develop a new way of thinking about your identity?

It was indispensable to developing my new identity when, for example, people began to reach out to me in college about being a Christian, and I started going to churches. All this talk about salvation and cross and redemption — that didn’t mean that much to me. But when I saw white, Black and brown people in those churches hugging one another, praying with one another and calling each other brother and sister, that was the thing that converted me. And as I began to learn more about Jesus, I no longer saw some white dude who lived 2,000 years ago. I saw a man of color, who knew what it was to be exploited, to be oppressed, and yet he didn’t give in to the hatred, the ethnic divisions of his time.

You cite the concept of “contact theory,” which showed that racial prejudice can decline if, in some circumstances, different racial groups were less isolated from one another. How do you think that applies to churches and other religious spaces?

The church is one of those few communal spaces left in our country today that has a chance to bring together people of different races because people are so self-sorting now. They’re retreating into their ideological, their racial camps. But for contact theory to work, churches must understand there’s a huge difference between a racially mixed church and an integrated church. A racially mixed church is when people of different colors share a pew. An integrated church is where people share pews, and people of different races share power.

Latino Faith Leaders Continue Pressure Against Gov. Ron Desantis’ Immigration Bill

Alejandra Molina

May 8, 2023

(RNS) — Latino faith leaders continue to push Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis to reconsider a sweeping immigration bill that, among other things, invalidates driver’s licenses issued to undocumented immigrants in other states.

A latest effort includes a petition — spearheaded by Evangélicos for Justice — that has garnered hundreds of signatures from Latino pastors, faith leaders and congregants who are urging DeSantis to veto the bill, known as SB 1718.

This action comes just days after the Florida Legislature on Tuesday gave final approval for the bill that now heads to the governor’s office to be signed into law.

“This legislation, if adopted, would incite fear and create barriers of needed care that our church immigrant and refugee ministries engage. Through this legislation, the State of Florida is creating barriers to churches from fulfilling their mission to welcome and care for immigrants,” said the petition.

This latest letter, which includes more than 20 pages of signatures, has been submitted to the governor, said Agustin Quiles, a director of government affairs for the Florida Fellowship of Hispanic Bishops and Evangelical Institutions.

Signatories include leaders like Bishop Ángel Marcial, president of the Florida Fellowship of Hispanic Bishops and Evangelical Institutions, which represents more than 2,500 churches and organizations across the state; the Rev. Abner Adorno, superintendent of the Assemblies of God’s Florida Multicultural District; and the Rev. Ruben Ortiz, global coordinator for the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship.

Latino evangelical pastors and faith leaders have staged demonstrations outside the Florida State Capitol to pray and advocate for immigrants who will be impacted by the bill. They’ve delivered handwritten letters to the governor and have sought to meet with Senator Blaise Ingoglia, who is sponsoring the bill.

The measure expands requirements for businesses with more than 25 staffers to use the federal E-Verify to check if employees can legally work in the U.S. It allows authorities to charge people with human trafficking if they knowingly transport an undocumented immigrant across state lines. The bill also requires hospitals receiving Medicaid to inquire about citizenship on intake forms.

Latino pastors have expressed fear they could get arrested simply for serving immigrant communities. Many churches provide food and shelter for those in need, which can include immigrants and unaccompanied immigrant children. Pastors often take ailing congregants to the hospital. Congregations travel to worship retreats, and church vans frequently pick up and drop off church members.

The bill has been amended to ensure human smuggling charges only apply to those transporting people from outside the country to Florida, as reported by the Pensacola News Journal.

Though a relatively small demographic, Latino evangelicals are a fast-growing faith group in the United States and one that 2024 presidential campaigns will work hard to capture. However, many in the community caution that they are not easily swayed by traditional right-left arguments, even as more than half of Florida’s Latinos voted for DeSantis’ reelection last year.

The Rev. Samuel Rodriguez, who serves as president of the National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference, wrote in a May 2 article for Newsweek that he shares the governor’s concerns about illegal immigration but noted that “this particular bill is not the solution.”

Rodriguez wrote that this piece of legislation “has the potential to jeopardize hard-won pro-life, pro-family, and pro-religious freedom victories in the long term.”

As a California pastor, Rodriguez urged DeSantis to “abandon this bill altogether” to avoid what happened in his state when Republican lawmakers in the 1990s pushed Prop 187 legislation that prevented undocumented immigrants from accessing public services. The measure passed and was blocked by a federal judge, and voter registration for the Democratic Party surged.

Rodriguez added: “Pastors and church-based volunteers have no interest in helping people violate immigration laws. But we do want to proclaim the gospel and ‘make disciples of all nations.’”

This article originally appeared here.

How Our Leadership Weaknesses Becomes Strength With God

Dan Reiland

May 8, 2023

Leaders are often reluctant to acknowledge and accept their weaknesses.

I can understand that. I’m often reluctant too. I’m trained to “overcome” my weaknesses and lead out of my strength, and that things like resilience and discipline are core to successful leadership. I agree. It makes sense, God gave you and I unique gifts, strengths, passion and ability so we can lead out our calling at our best.

That is the aim, to lead at our best in alignment with God’s plan, but it might be a shortsighted aim if we don’t understand how weakness fits in. And if so, we’ll miss the real target of our fullest potential.

Why?

Weakness is part of humanity. There is no escaping that truth.

And God uses it for His glory and our good.

As leaders we have limitations. Most of us are reluctant to accept them, but that doesn’t make them any less real. In fact, that usually makes our limitations a greater liability and ultimately short-changes our leadership potential.

A weakness or limitation is different than being a weak person or a limited leader. It’s an acknowledgement of your humanity and gives you clues to how God wants to use you.

The chinks in your armor allow you to develop empathy and compassion. They give you insight to human nature. They help you genuinely connect with people. Without these things it’s difficult to lead with God’s heart.

The truth is, we rarely find our fullest potential as a leader outside of pain, some failure, and a connected sense of our own suffering.

The apostle Paul wrote about his own experience.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

There is something we need to acknowledge here.

God never intended for our weakness to become permission for excuses, but to remind us that He is the true source of our strength.

Weakness Becoming Strength:

1. Get Honest About Your Weakness and Accept It as Something God Wants to Use.

What is your weakness?
What is your struggle?
Where do you get stuck?

It’s important that you know.

It would be virtually impossible to list every specific possibility, but what might your main category be? Here are a few examples.

Lack of confidence: Such as doubting and second guessing yourself, or like fear of risk.
Insecurity: Perhaps the narrative about your family of origin. Or past hurts.
Pleasing people or performance for approval: This changes things, like how you make or don’t make decisions and how you establish priorities.
Your emotions get the best of you: This is common. Anger, discouragement, frustration saps the strength from you and can push people away.
Anxiety: Not a clinical level struggle, but that low-grade anxiousness or common anxieties that rob your peace and joy. There’s a subtle uneasiness in your gut.

We Don’t Need Cops in the Pulpit — We Need the Yoke of Discipleship

Ray Hollenbach

May 8, 2023

yoke of discipleship — Adobestock #763884630

My daughter saves her deepest theological questions for bedtime. She doesn’t give a rip about theology, but she cares deeply about delaying bedtime. If Daddy is foolish enough to take the bait on Who-made-God-type questions, she wins. Even though her greatest need is rest, she thinks her late-night allies are unsolvable religious questions. In the end, everyone ends up sleepy and confused. So it is with preachers: Let’s preach about current political events; let’s preach about the state of the church worldwide; let’s crusade against the high-profile fools of Christendom and expose them for charlatans—in fact, let’s do anything other than preaching about taking the yoke of discipleship.

I’m just wondering, have you ever seen anyone win a religious argument? The only reason a crowd gathers is simply to watch a good fight, never mind who wins.

We Need the Yoke of Discipleship

The Apostle Paul, that great intellect of the first generation church, was capable of winning nearly any argument, but with each passing year he lost interest in being God’s cop and gave himself more and more to being God’s herald. Consider this amazing trope from his letter to the Philippians:

Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.

It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. —Philippians 1: 12-18

He actually rejoiced even as others tried to make his life more complicated! This passage is filled with marvels—and instruction—for every student of Jesus. Paul, thrown in prison because he declared the gospel, looks out from his house arrest in Rome to see and hear a wide variety of evangelists continuing his work. He knows that some are simply trying to pour gas on the fire of his persecution. These interlopers actually mean to do him harm, but Paul doesn’t care. He focuses on the gospel and delights that the message goes forth. Could you do that? Could you ignore your enemies and celebrate the sound of the Kingdom—even if it is sounded off-key?

Tracking the Trends in Worship

Tom Lawson

May 8, 2023

Welcomed or not, the contemporary music-centered approach to worship that has been both dominant and effective in most large and megachurch worship services is being challenged. This challenge, however, does not come from traditionalists who are still demanding a return to the Hammond B3 and southern gospel. This challenge, which has been slowly growing over the past decade, is coming from the same age-group that once pioneered praise bands and raising hands: Teens and young adults are challenging the trends in worship.

Tracking the Trends in Worship

Fortunately, the shift does not seem to be as sudden or as dramatic as when the college graduates who grew up in the 1970s and ’80s entered into church leadership roles in the 1990s. That era was one in which two dramatically different approaches to worship, especially the style and role of music, came into direct conflict in the so-called worship wars.

There is strong anecdotal evidence that points to an increasing number of young adults who have grown up in evangelical churches being drawn toward trends in worship experiences that are more intimate, less polished and often more liturgical than the worship of their home churches.

In a recent survey taken in our required (for all students) worship class, the results seem to demonstrate the shift is already at the point where those leading worship need to at least make note of it. Admittedly, a sample of 30 students is too small to provide proof. But, since the class is made up of the general student population (as opposed to only those involved in worship leading), it does provide an opportunity to take the general pulse of where (at least our) college students are in regard to approaches to corporate worship. The average age in the class is about 20.

4 Purposes of Church Leadership

Gavin Adams

May 6, 2023

Why does your church need leadership? I realize this may sound too fundamental of a question, but for the sake of a short conversation, have you ever paused and wondered why churches need leadership?

More specifically, what do church leaders do?

The Bible on Church Leadership

We can find a few references to spiritual leadership in our Bible.

1 Timothy 3:1-7 – This passage provides a list of qualifications for overseers (also known as bishops or pastors) and deacons in the church.

Acts 20:28 – In this verse, the apostle Paul exhorts the church elders in Ephesus to “keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.”

Hebrews 13:17 – This verse instructs the church members to “obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

1 Peter 5:1-4 – In this passage, Peter encourages the church’s elders to “be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be.”

Titus 1:5-9 – This passage provides instructions for appointing elders in the church and lists the qualifications they must meet.

So biblically, we find qualifications (Timothy and Titus) and comparisons (primarily to shepherds and flocks). This is helpful and instructive to a point. If you are a pastor, though, you and I know there’s more to the role.

Or at least some metaphorical unpacking to do.

What’s the Deal With the “Shepherd” Metaphor?

In the first century, shepherds were generally viewed as low-status workers who spent most of their time out in the fields tending to their flocks. Perhaps this is enough of an answer for us church leaders!

But there is more. Shepherds were often seen as uneducated, rough around the edges, and socially isolated from the rest of society. All said, shepherding was not a highly respected occupation, as it was physically demanding and involved working with animals that were not considered clean or pure according to Jewish religious law. Shepherds were often poor and marginalized, and their work was seen as a last resort for those who could not find other forms of employment.

Honestly, I can’t think of a better professional metaphor!

There are some exceptions to this view of shepherds. For example, in the Bible, King David was a shepherd before he became a king and was often praised for his skills. Additionally, in some areas, shepherds were highly valued for their ability to provide food and resources for their communities.

If the sheep could speak, I imagine they’d be grateful for their shepherd. All except the few disgruntled sheep who transferred by letter from another flock where they were also persistently unhappy.

But I digress…

How To “Shepherd” Your Church (and Community) Flock

The authors of scripture used the “shepherding” metaphor consistently for a reason. Most obviously, everyone in the first century was intimately familiar with the shepherd and sheep relationship. Less obvious, at least to modern readers, is the purpose of a shepherd.

Pastor: Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Ray Hollenbach

May 6, 2023

Here’s an old joke that illustrates the pastoral need for asking the right question:

Once there was a boy sitting on a porch, with a dog next to him. A salesman approached the porch and asked the boy, “Does your dog bite?”

“Nope,” said the boy.

The salesman stepped on the porch to ring the doorbell and the dog viciously bit his leg. “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!” screamed the salesman.

“My dog doesn’t bite,” said the boy. “But that’s not my dog.”

Sometimes asking the right question can make all the difference.

One of the great obstacles in becoming an effective pastor is learning to ask the right questions. The disciples wanted to know who among them was the greatest. The Pharisees wanted to know by what authority Jesus did his powerful works. Pontius Pilate wanted to know, “What is truth?” when Truth Himself was standing right there. It’s clear they all missed the point. What is not so clear is the fact that we, too, can miss the point.

The questions we bring to Jesus can make a big difference in our pastoral work. We live in a religious culture that craves correct answers. I’m afraid Evangelical Christianity places correct answers above relationship with God. Now, there’s nothing wrong with correct answers: we won’t get very far believing that two plus two equals twenty-two. But you can do the math all day long and still not know God.

“There is today no lack of Bible teachers to set forth correctly the principles and doctrines of Christ . . . strangely unaware that there is in their ministry no manifest Presence, nor anything unusual in their personal lives.” ~ A.W. Tozer

What Tozer wrote in the early 1960’s is even more acute today. We have come to God with our list of questions, eager to hear the answers we think are important. We have come to the scriptures with our values and world-views, eager to read into the text those things we think God wants the world to know. We have done this. The church. We have insisted that God speak to our values rather than learning what is on his heart. But learning what is on God’s heart means asking the right question.

I believe we have valued knowledge over experience and relationship. Knowledge is easier to grasp. We can master a subject. Yet there is a kind of knowledge that comes only from experience. It’s the difference between studying the physics of a curve ball and learning to hit one. In the arena of Christianity, it is easier to relate to a book (the Bible) than it is to experience relationship with the Lord Himself. Again, I’m talking about you and me, the church. One reason we reduce evangelism to the narrow message of “Jesus died for your sins” is that it does not require relationship with Jesus on the part of the believer or the prospective believer. The Great Commission–to make disciples–costs everything on the part of the believer and the prospective believer.

Do we really want to know Jesus, or simply know about him? How long would it take to know him? Consider these amazing words from the Apostle Paul, who had walked with Jesus for decades when he wrote:

I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ . . . I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.” Philippians 3: 8 & 10 (I omitted verse 9 in order to emphasize Paul’s point.)

Every follower of Jesus should asking the right question: if Paul still desired to know Jesus more and more after two decades, how much more is there for me to experience? Paul was not hungry for doctrine about Jesus. He wanted Christ himself.

Jesus understood the powerful attraction of religious doctrine when he said, “You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me.” Sadly, as he spoke to religiously-minded people he concluded, “yet you refuse to come to me to have life.” (John 5: 39 – 40) Correct doctrine is important, but it is not the reality. It is the doorstep, not the door. The menu, not the meal. It is the skeleton, not the living body.

The first and greatest commandment is to love the Lord. Love is relational and experiential–and yes, love depends upon the truth as well. We can take a lesson from our own children: we want them to love and trust us, but we do not require that they understand us in every respect. They can even repeat our words back to us, but it does not guarantee that they understand what we have said. In many cases the understanding will come years, even decades, after we are gone.

What questions do we bring to the Lord? What questions do we bring to the scripture? The best answer waits upon asking the right question.

This article originally appeared here, and is used by permission

Memorial Day Ideas for Children’s Church: 3 Activities for Kids

ChildrensMinistry.com

May 5, 2023

Memorial Day lends itself to many meaningful biblical tie-ins. Here are 3 easy but awesome ideas you can use in children’s church this year.

3 Memorial Day Ideas for Children’s Church

1. Memorial Day Outreach: Remembrance

Work with parents to commemorate Memorial Day and teach kids about this important day of remembrance. Invite families to spend an afternoon at a local cemetery to clean up neglected graves. Bring work gloves, sunscreen, and bug repellent.

As you work, talk about what Jesus said in John 15:12-13 about laying down one’s life for friends. Pause to observe the National Moment of Remembrance, a moment of silence at 3 p.m., to honor people who made the ultimate sacrifice.

2. Memorial Day Game: Movement Memory

Stand in a large circle of 10 or more.

Say: Be careful! Watch closely so you don’t forget the things your eyes have seen. Don’t let them slip from your heart—as long as you live!

Say your full name, first and last, while doing some kind of unique movement. For example, you could say your name while lifting your right leg and hitting your knee with your hand for every syllable.

Say: Now, let’s teach these to our children and to their children after them. Have the person to your right repeat your name and action, then say his or her full name and add one unique action. Continue around the circle, having kids each repeat everyone’s name and action before them, then adding their name and action.

After making it around the circle, ask:

What was easy or hard about remembering everyone’s name and action?
What kinds of things do you think are important to remember about loved ones?

Read aloud Deuteronomy 4:9.

Say: This Scripture is Moses talking to the people of Israel, asking them to follow the Ten Commandments that God just gave him. He was urging the people to never forget what they’ve seen and to teach their kids and their kids’ kids all about God. It was very important for them to remember what Moses told them. In the same spirit, Memorial Day is a time for us to remember people who have died and appreciate all they did for us.

Ask kids to tell about any friends or family members who have served in the armed forces or who died while serving. Then pray, thanking God for the men and women who gave their lives for our freedom.

Preteen Activities: 4 Cool Games About Sharing God’s Word

ChildrensMinistry.com

May 5, 2023

Preteen activities and games are great for engaging kids. Fun experiences help preteens connect with one another, with the Bible, and with your lesson. Kids will love playing these 4 cool games.

In these preteen activities, students learn how they can be trustworthy messengers of God’s Word.

4 Icy-Cool Preteen Activities for Youth Groups

Enjoy these preteen activities for middle school or junior high ministry!

1. Preteen Snow Sculptures

First form groups of five. Then have preteens build sculptures in the snow to represent their favorite Bible story. Great examples include Daniel in the lion’s den or Noah’s ark. (If you don’t have snow, use shredded paper on a plastic tarp.)

2. Build an Igloo

Lay out a tarp in a large room. Provide a bag of ice cubes for each group of four kids. Then give preteens 10 minutes to create a unique igloo. Afterward, have kids hang out in the igloos during the lesson time. Mix up the kids for discussions, if desired.

3. Preteen Melting Race

Form pairs. Give each twosome an ice cube to try to melt as quickly as possible. Afterward, talk about what worked well and what didn’t. Give the winning pair a box of Hot Tamales candy.

3 Reasons You Don’t Get This Grace Thing

Full Strength Network

May 5, 2023

Grace seems easy. It’s grace, after all, right?

But in reality, grace is really hard. What I mean is…

We have a hard time receiving grace because we either feel that we’re too undeserving to have the undeserved favor of God, or that we’re okay and don’t really need it.
We have a hard time giving grace for lots of reasons—the hurt is too deep, we’ve wrongly ranked their sin as worse than ours, or we still haven’t received grace yet.

The subject of grace continues to be a sticky one for us. It just seems too easy.

Be forgiven, instantly, of even the most heinous of sins by a holy and righteous God because we placed our faith in his Son?

It still seems too easy. Shockingly easy. Scandalously easy.

I think there are three primary reasons we struggle with the idea of both giving and receiving grace.

1. We’re conditioned by conditional love.

We live in a world of limited, conditional love. While God says, I love you, we often say things like,

I love you because… (implying conditions)
I love you until… (implying limits)
I love you unless… (you get the picture)

Far too many of us have been sent the signal that we’ll be loved until we cross some arbitrary line and go too far. Spouses are left abandoned. Children are abused and neglected. Former friends are left bewildered by the erosion of a friendship.

That’s the world we live in. That’s the way things work. So surely God must work the same way, right?

That’s what we tell ourselves, even if subconsciously. That’s why we always seem to have to issue a disclaimer, like, God loves you unconditionally, but he hates your sin and wants you to repent…

Does God hate sin? Yes. Does he require repentance? Yes. But from our perspective, we’re so afraid we’ll give too much grace we’re afraid to simply state his love without making sure we’ve added the necessary call to justice.

But God’s love and grace aren’t limited or conditional in the way that ours is. He is fully capable of remaining perfectly holy while at the same time extending unconditional, limitless love to even the chiefs of sinners.

And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.

Ephesians 3:18 NLT

2. We fail to understand the reach of the cross.

We tend to think of everything as happening on a timeline. And indeed, the biblical narrative does seem to flow from age to age. We start with creation, move through ancient Israel’s journeys, captivity, and liberty to the cross, the resurrection, and the church age, culminating in the second coming of Jesus.

The problem is, God exists outside the boundaries and limitations of time.

He started the clock. He will stop the clock someday. He doesn’t have to wait for anything. He is God.

When it comes to the cross, we have this imaginary pin we stick on the timeline of our lives. We assume he forgave all of our past sins, but not our future sins. Or that he forgave all the sins we’ve committed up until that really bad sin (as though some sins aren’t that bad).

But on the cross, Jesus’ death was an atoning sacrifice before God for the all of the sins of all of the people who had or would ever trust in him. When we truly know Jesus, we know the forgiveness of sins past, present, and future.

Christ suffered for our sins once for all time…

1 Peter 3:18 NLT

**3. We use our math rather than God’s math.**

One of the most common mistakes we make is to assume that God has done 99% of the work of saving us and that we merely need to do 1%—repent and believe.

But repenting and believing doesn’t contribute to our redemption. Repenting and believing is simply the proper response to our redemption.

Salvation is 100% a God thing.

He initiated it. He foresaw, foreknew, and foreordained. He justified, sanctified, and glorified his people. Some of the effects remain to be seen in eternity, but it’s as good as done.

On our scales, our sins are pretty bad, but their sins are definitely worse. Sure, God could forgive us, but them?

On our scales, most of our sins are not that big of a deal. But the big sins – murder, rape, abuse… those sins must be harder for God to forgive than my sins of pride, greed, or worry.

Ultimately, our scales are just broken. They’re inequitable.

But with God’s scales, the weight and measure of the atoning sacrifice of Christ far outweighs the power and rule of any and all sin anywhere that God’s immeasurable grace evokes a response of genuine repentance and faith.

Grace is hard for us to get because we’re limited in our perspectives, conditioned by our culture, naturally defensive, and have an inordinate sense of fairness about the wrongs committed by others.

But grace is grace. The existence of God means the existence of grace, and it’s a gift he shares with us freely on the basis of the cross where Jesus died.

And now, our challenge is to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18 NLT)

This article originally appeared here.

John MacArthur Tells Seminary Student Women Preachers Are a ‘Total Violation of Scripture’

Jesse T. Jackson

May 5, 2023

Grace Community Church’s senior pastor, John MacArthur, answered questions from students at The Master’s Seminary earlier this week (May 2).

One student asked MacArthur, the chancellor of the seminary, a question on church unity and partnerships in ministry. “I was wondering from your example, specifically with pastors who would agree on the essentials, but not necessarily unimportant doctrines that aren’t essential. What are some biblical passages or references or biblical principles that have helped you navigate that issue in your ministry?”

Assuming that the person is a true believer in Jesus Christ, MacArthur said his simple answer is “the Lord allowed him into the kingdom. And if you’re in the kingdom, I have to figure out a way to work with you…I don’t want to alienate people who are in the kingdom.”

If the person is a heretic—for instance, he denies the Trinity or the deity of Christ—or he believes heresy of some kind, or his life displays ungodliness and he is unrepentant, “I don’t want to cooperate with somebody like that,” MacArthur explained, “but I basically am bound. I am already one in Christ with everybody else who’s in the King.”

The 83-year-old pastor, who has served over 50 years in the pulpit, said, “We are all ones who have to figure out, how can I minister with [and] how can I minister to the people of God?”

MacArthur gave the example of how he joined R.C. Sproul at Ligonier conferences. Both MacArthur and Sproul hold different theological viewpoints regarding infant baptism.

“I think what is most important is you establish your own fidelity to the degree that people don’t question your association,” MacArthur said. “If I’m at Ligonier, nobody thinks I abandoned what I believe.” In fact, MacArthur and Sproul held a debate regarding infant baptism at one of Ligonier’s conferences.

While answering the seminary student’s question, MacArthur, who once told Beth Moore to “Go Home,” said there is a line that neither he nor other pastors who want to be obedient to Scripture should ever cross, and that would be speaking at a conference that would include a woman who was speaking as well.

“There’s a line at which you can’t cross because someone is blatantly disobedient to Scripture. That would be—you won’t see me—on a panoply of speakers that includes women because that is a total violation of Scripture. When you have men and women preachers—I can’t do that because your reputation at that point becomes very muddy,” MacArthur said.

Let’s Make Evangelism Great Again

Derwin Gray

May 5, 2023

The story I’m about to tell you might sound like a myth—but it’s true. How do I do know? I know because I was a witness to these events.

In 1993, I met the “Naked Preacher.” He was a linebacker for the Indianapolis Colts. That year was my rookie season in the NFL. I knew I would encounter a different world as an NFL player, but I did not expect to see a 6-foot-2, 240-pound man wrap a towel around his waist and share the gospel with my teammates! He would ask the guys, “Do you know Jesus?” In my mind, I was thinking, “Do you know you are half naked?”

One day, I was sitting at my locker, and I saw the Naked Preacher walking towards me. I thought, “Oh no, here comes that religious guy.” Then he asked me a question that forever transformed my life: “Rookie D. Gray, do you know Jesus?” And with that question, he walked with me for five years (1993-1997).

On Aug. 2, 1997, from summer training camp, I called my wife on the phone and shared with her, “I want to be more committed to you and I want to be committed to Jesus.” After our conversation, I just wept, thinking, “How could Jesus love and forgive someone like me!” I was redeemed by Jesus, reconciled to God, forgiven and justified by the blood of Jesus. I was born again and sealed with the Holy Spirit.

I was God’s dwelling place. I was a new man in a new kingdom, in a new family, with a new power and purpose. All this happened because Steve Grant, the Naked Preacher, took to heart the words of Jesus:

Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

Steve baptized me in a hotel swimming pool the night before a game.

The Naked Preacher made evangelism great again. Here are five things we can do to make evangelism great again in our own lives.

First, Steve was Christ-centered. The Naked Preacher was captivated by Jesus and his gospel. He was compelled by the love of Christ to share Christ’s love with the lost (2 Corinthians 5:14-15). When Steve was drafted by Colts in 1992, he told God that he would reach as many of his teammates as possible with the gospel. Steve was a missionary disguised as a football player.

Second, Steve was consistent. He showed up every day as the same person. I now know he was walking in the Holy Spirit’s power (Galatians 5:16;22-24). One time a teammate threw a wad of tape aimed at another player, but it hit the Naked Preacher in the eye. He looked at the player and said, “If I didn’t love Jesus, I would hurt you.” His life consistently mirrored the gospel.

Danica McKellar Is Reading the Old Testament for the First Time a Year After Trusting in Jesus

Jessica Mouser

May 5, 2023

Danica McKellar, who is known for playing Kevin Arnold’s love interest, Winnie Cooper, on “The Wonder Years,” is reading through the Bible and says she is “on track” to finish it this year. As part of her new “Bits of Joy” series for the Great American Family channel, McKellar shared she was especially impressed by the story of Joseph in Genesis.

“I’ve been reading the Bible, and I’m on track to finish the Bible this year,” said McKellar in an April 16 episode titled “Bible Bits: Joseph’s Story.” “Very excited.”

“This is the first time I’ve read the Bible,” the actress continued. “And I had read the gospels before, but never the Old Testament, and I’m starting from the beginning.” She is in Leviticus now, which is “a little dry, but that’s ok…It’s actually kind of fascinating when you feel like you’re in that world, and you know what the materials look like, and what the food was. Anyway, it’s pretty amazing.”

Danica McKellar: How Joseph’s Life Impacted Her

Danica McKellar is an author, mathematician and actress. In addition to appearing alongside Fred Savage in “The Wonder Years,” she has appeared in “The West Wing,” “How I Met Your Mother” and “The Big Bang Theory.”

In April 2022, McKellar revealed that she had come to trust in Jesus. “In my life, starting in childhood, I had been made aware of all the hypocrisy in the various religions of Christianity, it being used for evil, power & control throughout history, and that had definitely biased me,” she said. “But that’s just people, that doesn’t represent God’s actual love for us. And I can tell you I’m experiencing a relationship with God and Jesus that I’ve never had before, and it feels miraculous.”

McKellar said that a turning point for her came when her “good friend,” Candace Cameron Bure, gave her a Bible and invited her to church. In a Sept. 29 video introducing her series, “Bits of Joy with Danica McKellar,” the actress said, “I discovered my faith, Christianity, this year. When I say ‘discovered,’ I mean I had been around it before, but it never really resonated.” When Bure invited her to church, however, “I had a different experience.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Danica McKellar (@danicamckellar)

McKellar’s episodes are featured in GAC Community, a new app that Hallmark Channel competitor Great American Family launched in September. Both Bure and McKellar recently left the Hallmark Channel for Great American Family.

In her “Bible Bits” episode, McKellar said she has been using The Bible Recap, a podcast started by another friend of Bure’s, Tara-Leigh Cobble. Launched in 2019, The Bible Recap is a brief, daily podcast that follows a chronological Bible reading plan. Participants read the Bible passage of the day and then listen to the podcast episode, in which Cobble summarizes key points from the passage and what the text reveals about the nature of God.

Majority of Americans Say the (Spiritual) Force Is With Them

Stephanie Martin

May 5, 2023

the Force — The fight of Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader and The Emperor at Madame Tussauds. Mirko Toller, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

During this year’s convergence of the National Day of Prayer and “Star Wars Day” (May 4^th), a new survey was released on Americans’ thoughts about spirituality and the Force. While fans of the film franchise spent yesterday greeting one another with the phrase “May the Fourth be with you,” the spiritual-wellness nonprofit Skylight shared findings from its 2023 “American Prayer Wrap.” (Skylight’s parent company is affiliated with the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)

In the survey, conducted by City Square Associates, a representative sample of more than 1,800 U.S. adults responded to questions about their prayer habits and faith. Two questions referenced “Star Wars” concepts and characters, with participants indicating how they mesh with the movies spiritually.

Most Americans Are Aligned With the Force

The survey asked: “‘The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.’ How much do your own views of spirituality align with this?” In response, 20% of respondents said their spirituality aligns “very much so” with the Force, and 36% said it aligns “somewhat.”

In his book “Finding God in a Galaxy Far, Far Away: A Spiritual Exploration of the Star Wars Saga,” Timothy Paul Jones wrote about the Eastern-religion ideas that are interwoven throughout the film franchise. “There’s the pantheistic idea of an impersonal ‘Force’ that binds the universe together, the presence of a dark side and a light side in the spiritual realm, the emphasis on finding truth through mindfulness and concentration,” wrote Jones, a professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. “That provides us with a good opportunity to help our children to see the contrast between the personal God of Scripture and the false gods of pantheism and do-it-yourself spirituality.”

However, he added that some themes in the story do have a biblical foundation. “Some of the most powerful aspects of the ‘Star Wars’ storyline are more Judeo-Christian than Eastern,” Jones wrote. “Good triumphs through Luke Skywalker’s willingness to sacrifice his own life to redeem his father, and Darth Vader turns from darkness and experiences reconciliation.”

Yoda Is Americans’ Top Pick for a Prayer Partner

Another survey question asked, “Which ‘Star Wars’ character would you rather meditate or pray with?” Of the nine characters listed, Yoda came out on top, at 23%. Baby Yoda was second, at 15%. Other responses included, “I wouldn’t pray or meditate with any of them” (16%) and “Don’t know enough about ‘Star Wars’ to say” (15%).

A Number of New Books Spotlight Women’s Leadership in New Testament

Emily McFarlan Miller

May 5, 2023

women’s leadership — “Women Remembered” by Joan Taylor and Helen Bond, “Finding Phoebe” by Susan E. Hylen and “Tell Her Story” by Nijay Gupta. Covers courtesy of Bond, Amazon and InterVarsity Press

(RNS) — Emerging from the narrow entrance to a cave south of Jerusalem, scholar Joan Taylor found herself saying a blessing for Salome.

Salome is described in the Gospels as following and ministering to Jesus and is named as one of many women present at his death and at his tomb after his resurrection.

Ancient Greek graffiti inside the cave also asks “holy Salome” for mercy, suggesting to Taylor and her travel companion, scholar Helen Bond, that Salome may have been remembered as a healer in the early centuries of the church, just as many of Jesus’ male disciples were.

“These early women disciples of Jesus should be celebrated. They should be restored somehow, as this place should be restored,” Taylor says, sitting outside the cave in the British Channel 4 documentary “Jesus’ Female Disciples: The New Evidence.”

“They were working alongside the men. They were as important to the early Jesus movement as the men were,” she continues. “They are clearly there in our texts, and to forget that is a shame. If it’s all about men and the band of 12 men around Jesus, we’re forgetting the other half of the story.”

Authors Joan Taylor and Helen Bond. Photo courtesy of Bond

The documentary gained unexpected attention, with the duo writing it had received more press coverage than any other religious program since the BBC’s “Son of God” in 2001.

Taylor and Bond — who also wrote the book “Women Remembered: Jesus’ Female Disciples,” which releases next month in the United States and details the scholarship that didn’t fit into their 50-minute film — aren’t the only scholars working to restore the picture of Jesus’ first female followers.

Several new books are taking a fresh look at the roles of women in Jesus’ ministry and in the early church.

“It’s not that we’re making new discoveries about women. It’s not that we’re trying to rewrite history. It’s simply that women have been obscured, and women’s actual roles in the Bible have been obscured,” said Beth Allison Barr, the James Vardaman Professor of History at Baylor University and author of the 2022 book “The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth.”

“It’s time when we’ve got to see them for how they really are,” she said.

That time comes as many Christians — particularly white evangelicals — are asking questions about how their faith was formed and what they were taught it meant to be a Christian, according to Barr. That includes ideas around women and gender roles.

“People are like, ‘Hey, maybe what I was always taught about this — maybe there’s more to the story.’ And, I mean, it’s such an encouraging moment,” Barr said.

Nijay Gupta — professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary and author of “Tell Her Story: How Women Led, Taught, and Ministered in the Early Church,” which was released in March with a foreword by Barr — said he was forced to reconsider his belief that the Bible forbid women from leadership in the church when he was in seminary.

Author Nijay K. Gupta. Courtesy of InterVarsity Press

Gupta had been warned to stay away from women studying for a Master’s in Divinity because they were being “disobedient,” he said. He ended up marrying one.

And the more women he met in seminary, the more he realized they believed the same things he did about the truth of the Bible. Two years of research into what the Bible said on the topic started with him writing a paper on why women shouldn’t be in ministry and ended with him writing a paper on why they must.

In the New Testament, Gupta encountered Tryphaena, who not only hosted a church in her home but is described in the same way church leaders are described elsewhere. When writing about her in “Tell Her Story,” he was tempted to name the chapter “The Most Important Early Christian You’ve Never Heard Of,” he said.

He also reencountered Mary, the mother of Jesus, whom he always envisioned frozen in time as a teenager in the Christmas story. But, he realized, she was there throughout Jesus’ life, at his death and even afterward among the disciples when the Holy Spirit arrived at Pentecost.

Gupta started teaching and writing about the stories of women found in the New Testament because, he said, “I was wrong, and I was so sure of being right before.”

Their Church Is Leaving the UMC Fold. They Found Refuge in a Nearby ‘Lighthouse.’

Yonat Shimron

May 5, 2023

lighthouse congregations — Stokesdale Church in Stokesdale, NC. Courtesy of Ed and Sarah McKinney

(RNS) — After their congregation took a straw poll that showed the majority of members were in favor of breaking away from the United Methodist Church, Michael and Heather Hahn had to make a decision.

Should they stay with the church until it takes a final vote to disaffiliate?

Should they lobby members to remain a part of the denomination now embroiled in a drawn-out split over human sexuality?

Or should they move to another church as soon as possible?

In March, the couple chose to cut bait and left for another United Methodist church about 5 miles north of their home in Oak Ridge, North Carolina, a small, bedroom community of Greensboro.

“Ultimately where we ended up was, ‘There probably isn’t an opportunity to sway people from the path they’re on,” said Michael Hahn. “It’s probably time to look for another congregation to connect with.’”

The Hahns — Michael is a human resources professional; Heather is a schoolteacher — believe LGBTQ people deserve all the church rites of straight people.

They found a like-minded congregation at Stokesdale United Methodist, a rural church that voted to become a “Lighthouse Congregation” two months ago. The new designation describes a congregation eager to serve as a refuge for people who want to remain in the denominational fold.

Across the country, Methodists have begun a process akin to what social scientists describe as “sorting,” where people seek out like-minded communities with similar political, social and cultural worldviews, in this case religious.

More Americans Pray in Their Car Than in a Place of Worship, Survey Finds

Adelle M Banks

May 5, 2023

(RNS) — Despite reports of declining worship attendance and religious affiliation, 6 in 10 Americans say that they pray, a new survey reports.

A higher percentage — 85% — say they engage in a spiritual practice to connect with a higher power, whether prayer, meditation, mindfulness, reciting affirmations or spiritually based yoga. Prayer is the most common of the five practices, with 39% of Americans saying they practiced meditation and 38% practicing mindfulness.

Findings of the survey of more than 1,700 Americans were released by the Radiant Foundation on Thursday (May 4), which is the National Day of Prayer.

It showed that U.S. adults who pray often do so at dawn or when they awaken (50%) or at bedtime (55%). More people report that they pray in their car (61%) than in a place of worship (46%).

“These results make it clear that there is more praying taking place than people expect. People are praying in a variety of ways and in unexpected places throughout the day,” said John Dye, executive director of Skylight, a Radiant Foundation website that offers spiritual content, such as prayer, affirmations and yoga, aimed at young adults.

“They are frequently exploring their spiritual side and using prayer to work through adversity, find meaning, and create connection with a Higher Power.”

Chart Courtesy of Skylight

A distinct majority of those who pray (87%) said they believed they’d received an answer to their prayers in the last 12 months.

The top reasons cited for prayer were for a loved one in crisis (76%) or when someone else was sick (71%).

Other findings looked at how and with whom people prayed.

Eight in 10 reported regularly praying by themselves. Younger respondents — in particular millennials and Gen Zs — were more likely than younger boomers and Gen Xers to report that they prayed regularly with members of their spiritual group or family. Nearly a quarter said they pray routinely around their pets.

Chart Courtesy of Skylight

More than three-quarters of those who pray use at least one spiritually related object when they do. The most popular objects, based on a provided list of 20, were books and other texts, used by a quarter of respondents at least a few times a week. Others included burning objects such as candles (19%), a journal (18%), a pillow or kneeling pad (18%), a rosary or prayer beads (18%) or iconography (18%).

The National Day of Prayer was proclaimed by Congress in 1952 and has been observed on the first Thursday in May since 1988. President Joe Biden issued a proclamation; Christians planned gatherings in churches, plazas and capitals, and Religions for Peace USA hosted a virtual interfaith prayer gathering. Meanwhile, humanist and other nontheist organizations mark the day as a Day of Reason during a week of community voluntarism.

Chart Courtesy of Skylight

The survey was commissioned by Skylight and conducted by the Boston-area research firm City Square Associates. Skylight was launched in 2020 by the Radiant Foundation, a nonprofit organization associated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and partially funded by the Deseret Management Corp., which manages LDS church-affiliated entities.

A total of 1,783 U.S. adults ages 18 to 64 participated in the online survey, which had a margin of error of plus or minus 2 percentage points. Many of the questions on prayer were asked only of the 1,090 Americans who indicated that they pray.

This article originally appeared here.

What ‘The Starling Girl’ Gets Right About Church Abuse and Fundamentalism

Kathryn Post

May 5, 2023

Eliza Scanlen in Bleecker Street’s “The Starling Girl.” Movie still by Brian Lannin, courtesy of Bleecker Street

(RNS) — In 2013, a filmmaker from Los Angeles who considers herself agnostic found herself tagging along with a group of conservative church women in Oklahoma.

The daughter of a cinematographer and costume designer who was raised on film sets, Laurel Parmet was submerged in on-site research for a short film about rodeo when she bumped into the group, who introduced her to their nondenominational church.

“When I first learned some of their more extreme beliefs, like that it’s a woman’s responsibility to not lead a man into temptation, and how they dressed, and being very aware of modesty and covering up their bodies, my first reaction was shock,” Parmet told Religion News Service in a recent video interview. “But then, interestingly, the more that I thought about it, I just realized how much we had in common.”

As a teen, Parmet became involved with an older man — she hesitates to call it a “relationship” — and, when it ended, came away with guilt she couldn’t explain. Listening to the women she met in Oklahoma, Parmet began to question her lingering shame over a situation in which she had clearly been taken advantage of.

“Sexual shame and seeking approval from men are really these universal experiences for women no matter how you grew up,” Parmet said. “And I wanted to tell a story, looking at this world that is extreme and specific, but is ultimately a reflection of the larger culture.”

That story became “The Starling Girl,” a feature-length film Parmet wrote and directed. Set in rural Kentucky, it follows 17-year-old Jem’s struggle to align her self-expression and sexual desires with her parent’s expectations and church’s fundamentalism. The rigid frameworks of her faith rupture when Owen, a magnetic — and married — youth pastor, returns her affections.

The film sensitively portrays both Jem and Owen, who himself is aching to escape the stifling doctrine of his pastor father and a marriage that is coming apart. He is “totally in the wrong,” Parmet said, as he wields his authority to seduce Jem. At the same time, Parmet doesn’t tame Jem’s ferocity, agency or her capacity for manipulation.

Parmet said she refused to make the film a clean-cut account of an unequal relationship.

“When abuse is framed as just black and white, it can be harder for people going through it to reckon with it and realize it. We can deny our own wounds because we think they aren’t serious enough. And that only perpetuates the problem,” said Parmet. “And so I wanted people to see how complicated it can be. The ways we can be exploited while at the same time wielding power.”

Eliza Scanlen and Lewis Pullman in Bleecker Street’s “The Starling Girl.” Movie still by Brian Lannin, Courtesy of Bleecker Street

This dynamic isn’t specific to religious groups, but in “The Starling Girl,” conservative Christian teachings about male authority and women’s limited agency over their bodies show how the church makes itself susceptible to abuses of power.

Still, “The Starling Girl” isn’t a sweeping condemnation of Christianity.

“I wanted audiences to be invested in these characters, not to be watching judgmentally from afar,” Parmet explained. “The film intends to offer a more complex look at religion and faith. It maybe even suggests that there are many ways to connect with God. Maybe God lives in Jem’s questions and desires.”

The film’s embrace of gray areas puzzled some would-be partners. The fact that it “wasn’t flat out attacking Christianity” was “harder for people to understand,” said Parmet.

But producer Kara Durrett was hooked on the film as soon as she heard the concept. As the script evolved, Parmet was chosen to be a 2019 fellow in the Sundance Screenwriters Intensive. Then Parmet and Durrett attended Catalyst in 2021, a program that helped connect them to financial backers.

Meanwhile, Parmet enlisted women who had left Quiverfull and Independent Fundamentalist Baptist churches, some of them abuse victims, to help her capture the nuances of life in the nondenominational, fundamentalist community portrayed in the film. Crew members also had grown up in conservative churches, including the film’s production designer, who, Parmet said, “was just able to bring such a level of authenticity and detail to the story.”

John Gray: ‘You’re Attacking the God That We Serve’

Data Breach Can Be ‘Catastrophic’

When you were a child, your typically nonreligious father placed you in a foster home that he considered a gift from God, but you described it as a vile, hate-filled place. How did that experience affect your sense of God?

You wrote of growing up with hostility toward white people, saying, “It’s easier to despise a group of people you have no personal contact with.” How does that relate to your becoming a “closeted biracial person,” who didn’t want to acknowledge that your mother was white?

You mentioned that you were drawn to the stories of Jesus and his “obliterating any divisions — ethnic, gender, class — that stood between people.” Did your study of the Bible help you develop a new way of thinking about your identity?

You cite the concept of “contact theory,” which showed that racial prejudice can decline if, in some circumstances, different racial groups were less isolated from one another. How do you think that applies to churches and other religious spaces?

Weakness Becoming Strength:

1. Get Honest About Your Weakness and Accept It as Something God Wants to Use.

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The Bible on Church Leadership

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How To “Shepherd” Your Church (and Community) Flock

3 Memorial Day Ideas for Children’s Church

1. Memorial Day Outreach: Remembrance

2. Memorial Day Game: Movement Memory

4 Icy-Cool Preteen Activities for Youth Groups

1. Preteen Snow Sculptures

2. Build an Igloo

3. Preteen Melting Race

1. We’re conditioned by conditional love.

2. We fail to understand the reach of the cross.

3. We use our math rather than God’s math.

Danica McKellar: How Joseph’s Life Impacted Her

Most Americans Are Aligned With the Force

Yoda Is Americans’ Top Pick for a Prayer Partner

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**3. We use our math rather than God’s math.**