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24 Ravi Zacharias Quotes

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Editor’s Note: After the publishing of this article, an independent investigation found allegations implicating Ravi Zacharias of sexual abuse to be credible. Prior to this report, ChurchLeaders had published multiple articles about Ravi Zacharias and his ministry. Although our editorial team believes his work still has value since it involved articulating the truths of God’s Word, we would be remiss not to disclose the painful truth of Mr. Zacharias’ personal actions that have come to light following his death. For further reading, please see:
Sexting, Spiritual Abuse, Rape: Devastating Full Report on Ravi Zacharias Released
The Story Behind the Ravi Zacharias Allegations (Part 1): Lawsuits, NDAs, and Email Threads
The Story Behind the Ravi Zacharias Allegations (Part 2): ‘Cursory’ Investigations and More Accusations


Ravi Zacharias was an well-known American apologist who touched many lives reflecting the love and truth of Jesus Christ. If you have watched any of his videos, read any of books, listened to his radio shows, were able to attend any of his countless lectures or debates that defended the faith of His Savior and King, then you were blessed by a man of God that desired to give all that he had to lead others to Jesus and encourage others in the faith.

RZIM’s Twitter account posted “This morning, our beloved founder and apologist @RaviZacharias went home to be with Jesus.”

Over the years there are many important quotes and jewels of eternal wisdom which Ravi gave us through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Here are just some Ravi Zacharias quotes.

Ravi Zacharias Quotes

“Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good, He came to make dead people alive.”

“God often reinforces our faith after we trust Him, not before.”

“Without God, you take man to be God, your body to be a soul, and time to be eternity.”

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“We are commanded by God to love our fellow human being no matter how much we disagree with them.”

“An argument may remove doubt, but only the Holy Spirit can convict of truth.”

“We all want Canaan without going through the wilderness.”

“Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness.”

“Justice is the handmaiden of truth, and when truth dies, justice is buried with it.”

“I am totally convinced the Christian faith is the most coherent worldview around.”

“Success is more difficult to handle than failure.”

“The purpose of prayer and of God’s call in your life isn’t to make you number one in the world’s eyes but to make Him number one in your life.”

“Evil is a violation of purpose, the purpose of your creator and mine.”

“Jesus said, ‘Greater things of these you shall do…’ Become a peace builder, a bridge builder, not a destroyer, and the way you do that is through friendships and relationships, and through authentic character.”

“Beginning well is a momentary thing; finishing well is a lifelong thing.”

“In churches, we live with the danger of one-way verbal traffic.”

“It was not the volume of sin that sent Christ to the cross; it was the fact of sin.”

“There is no greater discovery than seeing God as the author of your destiny.”

“Many Christians have so busied themselves with programs and activities that they no longer know how to be silent and meditate on God’s word or recognize the mysteries that are in the Person of Christ.”

“A man rejects God neither because of intellectual demands nor because of the scarcity of evidence. A man rejects God because of a moral resistance that refuses to admit his need for God.”

“My goal is to satisfy the hunger and longing for those who are seeking the truth.”

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“We have a right to believe whatever we want, but not everything we believe is right.”

“Love is hard work. It is the hardest work I know of, work from which you are never entitled to take a vacation.”

“If you believe in subjective morality, why do you lock your doors at night?”

“Redemption is prior to righteousness. You cannot be righteous until you are first redeemed.”

Cautious Churches Close Again After Being Open for Several Weeks

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At least two churches have closed their doors again after reopening at the end of April/beginning of May. Since the reopenings, several people affiliated with Holy Ghost Church in Texas and Catoosa Baptist Tabernacle in Georgia have tested positive for COVID-19, and one church leader has passed away in what might have been a virus-related death.

“Our hearts are heavy as some of our families are dealing with the effects of the COVID-19 virus, and we ask for your prayers for each of them as they follow the prescribed protocol and recuperate at home,” Catoosa Baptist said in a statement, as reported by an ABC News affiliate. “Though we feel very confident of the safe environment we are able to offer in our facilities, the decision was made last night that we would discontinue all in-person services again until further notice in an effort of extreme caution for the safety and well being of our families.”

Catoosa Baptist, Holy Ghost Church Close Again

Catoosa Baptist Tabernacle, an independent Baptist church in Ringgold, Georgia, reopened for in-person worship on April 26, reports The Christian Post. The church decided to close again on May 11 after the virus manifested itself among several of the church’s families. Catoosa Baptist did not say how many people had tested positive, although ABC reports there are three known COVID-19 cases connected to the church.

The church’s statement says that church leaders made the decision to reopen because of “the current data that was shared and the low volume of cases in our area at the time.” Leaders also hoped to give members the option to worship in person as well as online. About a quarter of the congregation attended in-person worship services during the time the church was open. 

The church emphasized that those who attended practiced social distancing throughout the services. The organizers made sure doors were open as people walked in and asked members “to enter in a social distancing manner.” Attendees sat sit six feet apart from one another during the service and also observed social distancing as they left.

Catoosa Baptist made the decision to reopen following Georgia Governor Brian Kemp’s announcement that houses of worship, as well as various businesses (including gyms, theaters, restaurants, and salons), could reopen as long as they followed safety precautions. The governor’s decision sparked strong responses from some Georgia pastors, one of whom compared reopening the state to “opening caskets.” 

In a video clarifying his church’s decision-making, Catoosa Pastor Justin Gazaway stressed that the decision to reopen came after hours of deliberation among the church’s leaders and was made in full compliance with state and local guidelines. Leaders decided to reopen, said Gazaway, specifically for the members—the reopening was not announced publicly. Before Catoosa reopened, the pastor reviewed the safety guidelines with the congregation, encouraging anyone who was at risk to stay home. The leadership simply wanted to offer an in-person worship option to people who were already working and going out in the community. “We made it crystal clear,” said Gazaway. “It’s only a choice…Many of our people chose not to come.” 

While there are some people associated with the church who have COVID-19, the pastor said that at no time did the church act recklessly or in rebellion against state and local leaders. He said, “We are law-abiding citizens. We love our city. We love our county, and we obviously love our church…We went about what we did with utmost caution and utmost care, and the decisions that we made were just done out of extra precaution. We didn’t shut down because we had an outbreak in our church. I don’t know how that became the narrative.”

The Holy Ghost Church in Houston, Texas, has faced a similar situation. After reopening on May 2, the church canceled all masses indefinitely as of May 14. The cancellation followed the death of Father Donnell Kirchner at age 79 on May 13. In a statement released May 18, the church said that the cause of Kirchner’s death was unknown, but that he had been diagnosed with pneumonia. Rather than being admitted to the hospital after his diagnosis, the priest was given medication and sent back to his residence, which he shared with seven other members of his religious order. After Kirchner’s death, Holy Ghost church leaders decided to test those members for COVID-19 and to cancel services, even though the parish had followed safety precautions and social distancing since reopening.

Over the past several days, five of the members of Kirchner’s order have found out they had tested positive for COVID-19, and two of those five had participated in the services held since the church’s reopening. Holy Ghost has encouraged all attendees present at those masses to closely monitor their symptoms, adding, “We ask you to please keep everyone impacted by this illness in your prayers.” 

Pastor Who Laid Hands on Sick Followers Dies of Virus

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A pastor from Douala, Cameroon, Franklin Ndifor, is believed to have died from the coronavirus. Ndifor, who was recently engaged in efforts to distribute aid to those suffering in Cameroon due to the restrictions necessitated by coronavirus, was also reportedly laying hands and praying for his followers who have the coronavirus. Ndifor passed away on Saturday, May 16th, but his family and followers attempted to prevent police and healthcare workers from burying his body in the hope he would rise from the dead.

Police in Douala Deployed to Bury Body

The governor of Cameroon’s coastal region said he deployed police in Douala to force their way into Ndifor’s residence and allow Cameroon’s COVID-19 response team to move the pastor’s body. It appears Ndifor was buried sometime on Saturday. There are two conflicting reports about where the pastor was buried. One saying in front of his home while another saying that authorities transported his body to Koto Bass Cemetery in Bonaberi, Cameroon.

Hundreds of Ndifor’s followers crowded outside the leader’s residence in Douala, Cameroon, on Sunday morning praying for his resurrection. The crowd believed the pastor was on a spiritual retreat with God and that he would return soon. Their songs of worship and prayers for resurrection were broadcast on the radio. 

According to Dr. Gaelle Nnanga, Ndifor died less than a week after being diagnosed with COVID-19. Nnanga was called upon to administer medical aid by some members of Ndifor’s church, Kingship International Ministries, on behalf of their struggling pastor. Nnanga says Ndifor was experiencing severe respiratory difficulty and died less than 10 minutes after being treated. 

Speaking to Voice of America (VOA), Rigobert Che, a follower of Ndifor, said the pastor, who was considered a prophet by some, prayed for him and several other people, some of whom had been diagnosed with COVID-19, last Wednesday. Apparently people have been seeking Ndifor’s prayers as a cure for the virus and, according to Che, the pastor gave them reason to think he could cure it.

“This is a pastor that has been laying hands [on the sick] and claiming that he cures COVID-19,” Che said. “If you, the person that claims that you are curing COVID-19, you are dead, what about the fellow people that were affected by the COVID-19? Now that he is dead, I do not know how the people that he was laying hands on will be healed.”

VOA also reports that Ndifor was praying for COVID-19 patients in his home and his church. While these actions might seem incredibly risky and foolish, some of the aid he was offering was practical. He donated buckets and soap to Cameroon’s poor so they could hopefully prevent contracting the coronavirus by washing their hands. The pastor had also been distributing face masks on the streets as late as April 20th. According to the information from Nnanga, that date was before the pastor knew he had COVID-19.

Who Was Franklin Ndifor?

Ndifor founded Kingdom International Ministries, which is described as a nondenominational church on its Facebook page

In 2018, Ndifor ran in Cameroon’s presidential election. Ndifor was the candidate for the National Citizens’ Movement of Cameroon. The pastor garnered only 23,000 votes, finishing in seventh place and ultimately losing to incumbent Paul Biya. 

Ndifor was 39 years old when he died.

Ravi Zacharias Is With His Savior Now

Ravi Zacharias death
Facebook @Ravi Zacharias

Editor’s Note: After the publishing of this article, an independent investigation found allegations implicating Ravi Zacharias of sexual abuse to be credible. Prior to this report, ChurchLeaders had published multiple articles about Ravi Zacharias and his ministry. Although our editorial team believes his work still has value since it involved articulating the truths of God’s Word, we would be remiss not to disclose the painful truth of Mr. Zacharias’ personal actions that have come to light following his death. For further reading, please see:

Sexting, Spiritual Abuse, Rape: Devastating Full Report on Ravi Zacharias Released

The Story Behind the Ravi Zacharias Allegations (Part 1): Lawsuits, NDAs, and Email Threads

The Story Behind the Ravi Zacharias Allegations (Part 2): ‘Cursory’ Investigations and More Accusations


Ravi Zacharias, an apologist, author, husband, and father of three, passed away this morning. Zacharias suffered from sarcoma, a rare form of cancer, which was deemed no longer treatable just last week by his physicians.

“This morning, our beloved founder and apologist @RaviZacharias went home to be with Jesus,” a post on RZIM’s Twitter account reads.

Zacharias’s daughter, Sarah Davis, the CEO of the ministry her father started (RZIM), announced last week that her father was returning home to Atlanta, Georgia, to finish out whatever time he might have left with his family. Zacharias had traveled to Houston, Texas, to seek treatment for the cancer he only recently found out he had. In March of this year, Zacharias found out he had cancer after undergoing an emergency surgery on his back. 

The whole ordeal—from the emergency surgery to the cancer diagnosis to his death—transpired in a matter of about three months. 

Other Christians leaders from Lecrae to Tim Tebow have been sharing the impact Zacharias has had on them after it became clear the famous apologist didn’t have much time left on earth. 

For Ravi Zacharias Death Was Sudden

Davis gave the update about her father’s passing, sharing these words about the swift illness that took him and his final days:

It was his Savior, Jesus Christ, that my dad always wanted most to talk about. Even in his final days, until he lacked the energy and breath to speak, he turned every conversation to Jesus and what the Lord had done. He perpetually marveled that God took a seventeen-year-old skeptic, defeated in hopelessness and unbelief, and called him into a life of glorious hope and belief in the truth of Scripture—a message he would carry across the globe for 48 years.

His thoughts and conversations in recent years and his final weeks were saturated with gratitude for this team of evangelists, apologists, and staff that he called family: RZIM—Ravi Zacharias International Ministries. He spoke of our evangelists’ tender hearts and their love for people. Some have said my dad blazed a trail when he began commending the Christian faith and addressing life’s great questions of meaning nearly five decades ago. As one friend dear to him remarked, he has also paved that path, desiring that his teammates around the world would continue so untold millions might know the same Jesus he faithfully served—the one he now sees face-to-face.

My dad’s humility, grace, tenderness for people, and above all love for the Lord are forever imprinted on my mind, my heart, and my life. His love for our family will be impossible to replace until we join him in heaven one day. Ravi and Margie just celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary. My mother was entirely committed to my dad’s calling and to this ministry, believing God called them together. I cannot recall even one moment when I saw her commitment to this calling weaken, because she always placed unwavering trust in the God who called them and in His purposes. We experienced God’s kindness and faithfulness in so many ways as we felt Him journeying with us in bringing my dad home. For this we are at peace and filled with deep gratitude to God for the innumerable expressions of His love. Naomi, Nathan, and I are deeply grateful for your continuing prayers for our mother, Margie, and the many expressions of love you have shown to her and to us.

Davis also indicated a memorial service is currently being planned—the details of which have not yet been announced. The service will take place in Atlanta, where Zacharias and his family lived, and will be streamed. Davis requests in lieu of flowers those wishing to pay their respects to Zacharias should send a donation to RZIM.

Ravi Zacharias was born in Madras, India, on March 26, 1946. He died on May 19, 2020 in Atlanta. He was 74 years old.

6 Ways to Lead and Love Your Wife

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Marriage is an imperfect picture of a perfect reality. But there are 6 ways to lead and love your wife.

In Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul explains that God designed marriage to be a metaphor for a divine truth, giving our watching world a glimpse of what it’s like to be loved by Jesus.

God wants to use every marriage to display his beauty and grandeur. But how? In part, by having husbands leading and loving their wives in godly, nourishing, Christlike ways.

Here are six practical ways that you, as a husband, can lead and love your wife.

1. Ask Good Questions

Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Asking your wife intentional questions is a way you can learn about the state of her soul. As a start, here are four questions you should ask your wife on a regular basis:

  • How are you encouraged in your faith and life right now?
  • How are you discouraged in your faith and life right now?
  • In what ways can I pray for you?
  • How can I grow as a husband, father, and Christian?

2. Serve Your Wife

Ask yourself daily, What can I do today to make my wife’s day easier? Perhaps it’s doing the laundry, washing the dishes, taking the kids to soccer practice, or making dinner.

Husband, remember that Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve (Mark 10:45). He didn’t kick off his shoes and demand that we cater to his every need. On the contrary, he washed feet, cared for little kids, and comforted weary people. In the same way, remember that your home is not only a refuge for relaxation, but also a context to serve. Look for creative ways each day to serve your wife at home.

3. Make Time for Your Marriage

If you do not make time for your marriage, you will not have time for your marriage. Life is busy. We must be intentional about prioritizing marital health by instituting calendar rhythms. If we don’t intentionally schedule rhythms for marriage strengthening, our marriages will likely suffer. This will look different for each couple, depending on their season of life, but here are some of the rhythms my wife and I have in our marriage:

  • Pray daily (typically at night)
  • Date weekly (typically Friday nights)
  • Escape monthly (all-day thing)
  • Getaway quarterly (one overnight)
  • Retreat annually (several days together)

Plan regular touchpoints with your wife—and put them on the calendar.

4. Study Your Wife

The apostle Peter tells husbands to “live with your wives in an understanding way” (1 Pet. 3:7). One way we do this is by studying our wives. Do you know your wife’s heart as well as you know the statistics of your favorite sports team? If I asked you for your wife’s current likes, dislikes, and dreams, would you have an answer? You will never learn about these things unless you (1) are intentional in conversation with her and (2) listen more than you talk.

So put down the remote, your phone, or whatever keeps you from talking meaningfully with your wife, and invite her into concentrated conversation. Model James 1:19 in your marriage. Study your wife by listening to her.

5. Learn and Grow Together

Healthy marriages are characterized by a mutual desire for spousal growth. We don’t love our spouse by accepting them “as they are” so much as we point them to become more like Jesus. A key way you love your wife, then, is by prioritizing opportunities to learn and grow with her. Read a book or listen to a lecture together. Go to a conference or discuss Sunday’s sermon.

Husbands, God calls us to lead our wives into spiritual flourishing. Labor to find creative ways to grow and learn together to that end.

6. Be Intoxicated in Her Love

Proverbs 5:19 is one of my favorite verses on marriage: “Be intoxicated always in her love.” The word translated “be intoxicated” is used elsewhere in the Old Testament for a man staggering down the street in drunkenness (Isa. 28:7). The point is for a man to be crazy in love with his wife. Ray Ortlund says of this verse:

This counsel is not trivial. It is the serious wisdom of God, because, as we shall see later in the Bible, marriage points ultimately to the love of Christ and our joy in him. And the striking thing about this wisdom here in Proverbs, coming from ancient times as it does, is that marriages back then could be arranged for economic or political reasons. But the Bible sweeps all of that aside and calls husbands and wives to be head-over-heels in love with each other.

How can you be “head over heels” in love with your wife? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Remind her why you’re in love with her. Write her a card and list specific reasons why you treasure her.
  • Affirm her before others. Esteem your wife in the presence of others by directing their attention to visible graces in her life.
  • Surprise her with acts of kindness. Take the kids and send her out with friends for the night. Show up to her workplace with flowers. Leave her a card before you leave for work.
  • Encourage her with how you see God at work in her life. Take her on a date and tell her, slowly and specifically, how you see growing in her faith. Is she becoming more patient, wise, kind, bold, holy? Tell her and watch her faith fan into flame.

Scripture says husbands should be so in love with their wives that the watching world thinks they’re drunk on love. May it be so of us.

This article about how to love your wife originally appeared here.

What the Bible Actually Says About the Antichrist

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The “Antichrist” is a subject that has been thrown around a lot in the past few decades, especially in America. When it’s mentioned, it is usually in the context of a political figure or organization. It seems as though it has become commonplace to simply attach the word Antichrist to someone we don’t like or an organization with whom we disagree. Obama was the Antichrist, and now Trump is the Antichrist. Putin is the Antichrist. The DNC is the Antichrist. The SBC is the Antichrist. You get the idea.

In 1 John 2:18-28, we have one of the extremely few times that “antichrist” is ever mentioned in the entire Bible. But, when John mentions it, notice that he doesn’t pinpoint one political figure or something like that. When he mentions it, John says that already “many antichrists have come” (2:18). When John brings up the concept of antichrists, he does so while talking about false teaching within the church community. What can we gain from this? Here are three things that I think are a lot more useful than stirring the proverbial apocalyptic pot with these sorts of verses.

1. Antichrist is a term that needs clarification.

The term “antichrist” has pretty much ruined us. As I mentioned, we can’t even hear it without imagining a Nicolae Carpathia (Google it) figure in our day and time. In the context of John’s letters, that is unfortunate because it misses the point of what he’s trying to address.

Jesus had warned his disciples: “False messiahs and false prophets will appear and produce great signs and omens, to lead astray, if possible, even the elect” (Matthew 24:24). It might be helpful to equate the term antichrist with the term “anti-messiah.” The two words “Christ” and “messiah” are talking about the same thing, it’s just that one is Greek and one is Hebrew. There were, at that time, many people assuming positions of leadership and starting movements claiming that God was acting in different sorts of ways or working within them in a special way. By the time John is writing his letters, there were even people coming out of the early church itself that were claiming this sort of thing, just as Jesus has predicted above. John is saying these people are antichrists, or anti-messiahs, based not only who they are claiming to be but what they are teaching, and he describes them and what he means by the term in 2:22: “Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son.”

2. The antichrists John refers to might have been claiming Jesus was never human.

There is a lot that can fall under the umbrella of “denying Jesus,” so is there any way to know specifically of what this false teaching consisted? There might be. Later in the letter, John says this,

“…every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. And this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming; and now it is already in the world” (1 John 4:2-3).

So, every spirit that confesses Jesus has come in the flesh is from God. Otherwise, they’re notthat’s an interesting clarification. To deny that Jesus is the Christ, or has come “in the flesh,” is to separate Jesus of Nazareth (human) from Jesus the Christ (divine). This gets into some dangerous territory by claiming, whether indirectly or directly, that the two cannot unite. This goes against one of the foundational principles of the Christian faith, which is what Peter says in Acts 2:36“Therefore, let the entire house of Israel know with certainty that God has made him both Lord and Messiah, this Jesus whom you crucified.” This was a big deal for John, too, as he says at the outset of his Gospel: “And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).

3. The reason they are antichrist is because they are causing division within the community

It’s not that these false teachers were teaching wrong things about Jesus; it is what that teaching was doing among the community. False teaching isn’t bad just because it’s false; it is bad because it causes division and disunity among the church who is called to love one another and be unified. That’s who we are; it is part of our identity as followers of Jesus. If we’re better together, antichrists are those who are tearing us apart.

In v. 27, John writes “As for you, the anointing that you received from him abides in you, and so you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, abide in him.”

The word for “anointing” is the same root word for Messiah, which means “Anointed One.” In the New Testament for Everyone series, biblical scholar N.T. Wright notes about this section how John juxtaposes those two terms.[1] Those who are “anti-anointed ones” and those who are the anointed ones of the Anointed One are contrasted. This is significant, because if God calls us his own through Jesus, and the antichrists are splitting us apart, then John is saying that they are not only denying Jesus, they deny his children. If our identity is found in Christ, then antichrists are trying to take that identity away from us, denying us of who we truly are, where we’ve come from, and who we are called to be in the world.

The words for John’s audience are not that different from ours today. There are, right now, many people, organizations, ideas, groups or what have you that are causing us to divide as a church. In the truest sense of the term, these are antichrists and we, too, must abide in Christ “what we have heard from the beginning” and not be deceived by them.

[1] Wright. N.T. The Early Christian Letters for Everyone: James, Peter, John, and Judah. (Westminster John Knox2011), 146.

This article originally appeared here.

How Much Screen Time Should Kids Have During the Pandemic?

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Go by the average household today and you are more than likely to find a television screen tuned in to a kids’ network, a tablet that is being used to play a game, a smartphone lit up with text messages and a laptop being used for social media. Screen time is up.

As the coronavirus continues to force kids to stay locked safely inside their homes, screen time is on the rise.  Parents are turning to screens to help keep their kids occupied.

Children’s television viewing has skyrocketed since the pandemic started.  Kid-friendly channels like The Cartoon Network, the Disney Channel, Boomerang and Nickelodeon are reporting that viewing has increased by 60% in just one week.

Under normal circumstances, most parents limit their child’s screen time.  But that has changed since the pandemic started.  With kids confined to home for 7 days a week, parents are turning to screens to help pass the time.  And many parents are working from home, which is challenging as they try to meet the needs of their children who, in many cases, need constant attention.

The American Academy of Pediatrics issued a statement on March 17.  It acknowledged that kids’ screen media use will increase during the pandemic.  It did not offer alternate time limits but rather stressed that screen time limits are still important and parents should offer offline experiences as much as possible.  This may include things like putting together a puzzle, coloring, active games, reading, etc.

Dr. Radesky, one of the doctors who helped create the statement, said, “There is no science behind this right now.  If you are looking for specific time limits, then I would say: Don’t be on it all day.”

She goes on to say “You know your child better than anyone else and are therefore the best person to decide what and how much media use is the right amount,” she said.  So, for example, if your child is anxious, avoid the news or a scary video. If your child likes music, find programming that incorporates singing, like a musical with a soundtrack you can listen to later together.”

For content screening, organizations like Common Sense Media offer age-based recommendations for shows for kids.  And of course, online there is an unlimited amount of content.  It’s just a matter of helping guide kids to websites that are age appropriate.

Another thing to consider.  Children should be guided to shows that don’t barrage their sensory experiences.  You don’t want to overstimulate their senses.  Look for slower paced media that has a calming effect.

How about video games?  Many kids will engage in video games.  The same standards should be applied to this as well.

A great thing to do during this pandemic is to use screens to connect kids with their friends and family members.  A Skype call with the grandparents.  A FaceTime call with cousins.  A Zoom call with their friend from school.

Parents should definitely take an interest and supervise what their kids are doing during their screen time.  They can also get involved by watching their child’s favorite show or playing a video game with them or connecting them to their grandparents online.

Another important tip is this.  Establish boundaries and communicate those boundaries to children before they start interacting with screens.  This will help you avoid arguments when it’s time to turn off the screen for awhile.The greatest need children have right now is their parents.  It’s critical that parents lead their children well during this pandemic.  Spend extra time with your kids during this pandemic.  Get more involved in their lives and look for ways you can help your kids cope and adapt to this new reality.

Dr. Radesky said this “If you’re feeling overwhelmed and scattered, find time for activities that help you calm down, think more clearly and be more emotionally aware and curious about what your kids need. Those are the qualities that are going to help our kids adapt better to this situation.”

Parents, we are praying for you.  We are pulling for you.  We are here to partner with you.  Take full advantage of the extra time you’ve been given with your children during this pandemic.

This article originally appeared here.

Free Youth Talksheets

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Free Youth Talksheets

From youth pastor Adam Walker Cleaveland, these talksheets will help jumpstart theological discussions with your youth group.

Topics covered in these talksheets include:

  • The Bible
  • Creativity & Faith
  • Doubt(ing) as Faith
  • Faith & Money
  • How (Not) to Speak of God
  • The Missional Church
  • Social Justice
  • Spirituality

Get Download Now

Resource provided by Adam Walker Cleaveland 

Download Instructions: To download this resource, click on the link that says, “Click here for the download.”

“The Giving Tree” for Young Christian Leaders

communicating with the unchurched

Shel Silverstein has left an indelible mark on many lives for a multitude of reasons. For some, itʼs the great relief in knowing theirs are not the only minds and ears taunted by the what-ifs. For others, itʼs the fun of reimagining the lives and intentions of the monsters that surround us in our childhood. Still for some, it is the fun in wondering where life takes us and what lies beyond the point Where the Sidewalk Ends. For many, itʼs the long-lasting impact of the simplicity and beauty found on the branches of The Giving Tree.

My first encounter with The Giving Tree was somewhat unconventional. I was back in my college town for a weekend of memories relived and connections renewed. Typical to my trips ʻback home,ʼ I was spending Sunday afternoon with my mentor and friend Carrie. We had just finished off a distinctly western brunch at a new Fort Worth bistro and ended up on the patio of our favorite tap house. It was a breezeless bluebird day in late spring—the kind of day that makes everything seem fresh and wholesome.

My conversations with Carrie are always a funny mix of banter and deep discussions on lifeʼs purpose and meaning. It is customary and inevitable that we argue whose political beliefs are more sound—neither winning—but always conclude with a bit of knowledge gained and a small but healthy shift in perspective. After this particular exchange, she made a comment about how “my side” needs a big dose of The Giving Tree to fix our ill-refute.

Carrie knew by my empty laugh that I didnʼt know what she had meant. “Youʼve never read The Giving Tree?!?” she exclaimed and questioned. After she explained the story, I felt like I had missed out on a potentially big part of my childhood. And then, as though it had magically appeared, she reached into her bag and pulled out a freshly minted copy of the story. She had bought it a few days earlier to give to somebody as a gift and had forgotten it was still with her.

So when I say that my first experience with The Giving Tree was unconventional, what I mean is that it was first read to me when I was 25, on the patio of a bar, by a woman who is as great a friend as she is a storyteller.

Brennan Manning gives us a great summation of the story:

“Once there was a tree … and she loved a little boy.” And so begins the story of a tree being happy because she is able to make the boy happy.

At first the boy desires nothing but to climb on her branches, eat her apples and lie in her shade.

But as the boy grows, so do his desires. But because of the treeʼs love, she gives her apples for him to sell for money to have real fun; her branches that he might build a house for a wife and family; and her trunk so he could build a boat and sail away from the boredom of life.

And then one day, the prodigal returns to the tree that loves him. By now, she has given him everything; all that remains of her is an old stump.

The boy, now an old man, needs only a quiet place to sit and rest. And the Giving Tree gives once more.

I hope that I have not built this up too much at this point. The connection Iʼm about to make is not miraculous and it wonʼt change your life. But stories like The Giving Tree can teach us great lessons that can be shared among all of our experiences.

Timothy Jackson, professor of Religious Studies at Stanford University, says about the story: “Is this a sad tale? Well, it is sad in the same way that life is sad. We are all needy, and, if we are lucky and any good, we grow old using others and getting used up. Tears fall in our lives like leaves from a tree. Our finitude is nothing to be regretted or despised, however; it is what makes giving (and receiving) possible … should the treeʼs giving be contingent on the boys gratitude? If it were, if fathers and mothers waited on reciprocity before caring for their young, then we would all be doomed.”

The Giving Tree represents some of the greatest qualities we can encounter in this life. Through love, her purpose became the happiness of another soul (at whatever cost). She stood steadfast in her relationship with the little boy—serving him and loving him relentlessly. Even as he came back and used her for his own happiness, she selflessly gave him EVERYTHING she could.

Jesus did the same thing for those whom he loved. As Paul wrote in Philippians, “He emptied himself.” He purposefully gave EVERYTHING he could and stopped at nothing so that others could be safe and happy.

Some consider Silversteinʼs parable to be a story of selfishness and greed by the boy and irresponsible passivity by the tree. I disagree. I believe it is one of the greater stories of love and service and selflessness—a shining example of a life lived purely and perfectly for the purpose of others.  

8 Signs of Humility in a Self-Absorbed Culture

communicating with the unchurched

Is it possible to have humility in a self-absorbed culture? Recently, I was asked to speak to college students on the topic of Jesus as the better David, the Perfect King. David is a fascinating character, the greatest king in Israel’s history, and arguably the greatest leader in the Bible. VBS stories frame David as a small boy, weak and feeble. But even before killing Goliath, David’s resume included killing a lion and a bear. Make no mistake, this “boy” was a bad dude, even before the infamous Goliath encounter.

Then you have the other side of David. You know, the part where he sees a hot woman on his balcony and has sex with her. After discovering the hot woman is pregnant, David uses his power to orchestrate the murder of her husband. Real classy, I know. Despite a string of actions that would land him 25-to-life in a modern-day justice system, the apostle Paul describes David as a ‘”man after God’s own heart.”

How could such a morally flawed man be considered a man after God’s heart? Why was God’s hand seemingly always with David, despite his moral flaws?

As I paralleled David to Jesus, something hit me. Could David’s humility, not his moral track record or astute knowledge of the law, be the reason God never leaves him? David makes mistakes, but he never loses his perspective. After winning battles, he praises God. When confronted, David falls on his knees and repents. After losing a child, David cries to God. Repeatedly in Scripture, David acknowledges he is just a man, no better than anyone else (1 Sam. 18:18-23; 1 Sam. 24:14; 1 Sam. 26:20; 2 Sam. 7:18-29; 1 Chron. 17:16-27).

Jesus, of course, is Humility. The son of God leaves heaven, not to be served, but to serve others. He never performs a miracle on himself or for himself. And the night before his death, he does the unthinkable, taking a basin of water and washing the feet of his disciples.

What if humility is the distinguishing mark of a Christian? What if the gospel needs humility to spread? What if the flourishing of cultures and countries depends on humility?

If so, what does this say about our culture, America? One thing’s for sure, humility isn’t a desirable virtue in 2016.

What is humility?

There’s a catch-22 with humility. We’re afraid to talk about it at the risk of sounding prideful. Humble people don’t talk about humility, right? So, if you aren’t born with humility, you’re out of luck.

Obsession with self is increasingly the norm today. Turn on the TV. Watch the presidential debates. It’s all about what’s wrong with everyone else, and what’s awesome about the person speaking. We’ve accumulated debt that will inevitably cripple us. It’s not a matter of if, but when. We’re overly sensitive about everything, leading to fear mongering and cat fighting. Everyone must choose a side on every issue. Maybe we aren’t fighting with guns like Americans during the Civil War. But we’re very much an “us vs. them” nation. If I don’t think like you on any issue, whether it’s marriage or abortion, I’m a bigot.

Behind much of this, I believe, is narcissism. And, unless we regain a spirit of humility, narcissism will destroy us.

So, what is humility? I don’t pretend to hold “the” answer, but maybe I do have a good place to start. In a recent talk for Q, David Brooks tells the story of a Jewish rabbi who walks into a synagogue with two pieces of paper. The first says, “The world was made for you.” The second says, “You’re nothing but dust and ashes.” This, I believe, summarizes humility.

It values self and minimizes ego. Let’s look at these two complementary pieces of humility’s puzzle.

Humility is NOT low self-image. It starts with a healthy view of self. Humble people understand their worth as men and women created in the image of God, the pinnacle of His creation. A culture where people are insecure and unaware of their infinite worth breeds a host of destructive behaviors (addiction, fornication and the like).

So, humility is high self-worth. But it’s not just self-worth. Humility also requires a healthy ego, the realization that you’re incredibly limited. You’re no different from the man or woman beside you. Just like them, you will return to dust, the way you came.

In Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis said this about humility.

“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: He will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: He will not be thinking about himself at all.”

Free Kids’ Lesson Package: “Emotions”

communicating with the unchurched

Free Kids Lesson Package

From CMD, “We all get upset and angry sometimes, but kids will learn that we need to be slow to anger so our emotions don’t get out of control. James 1:19-27, Listening And Doing”

This kids lesson package includes:

  • Make It Stick! Parent Sheet
  • Memory Verse
  • Skit
  • Object Lesson or Kids Sermon
  • Large Group Lesson
  • Small Group Discussion
  • Large Group Game


Get Download Now

Resource provided by Children’s Ministry Deals


Download Instructions: 
Follow the on-screen directions at the download site.

The National Senior Sendoff Is Our Labor of Love for High School Seniors

communicating with the unchurched

Several weeks ago it started becoming clear that proms were going to be cancelled, graduations were going to look different, and high school seniors- instead of having their diploma handed to them in the traditional way- were going to get the short end of the pandemic stick. My heart broke for these frustrated high school seniors, who’ve been robbed of a normal, public celebration by a horrific virus.

My life has been devoted to ministering to teenagers. For the last 29 years I have sought to inspire, equip, and unleash teenagers to spread the good news of Jesus through the ministry of Dare 2 Share.

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Over the last three decades I’ve talked to countless teenagers who have struggled through broken relationships, shattered dreams, and sinful choices. When I’ve talked with these teenagers at our Dare 2 Share events, I’ve been able to place my arm around their shoulders, pray with them, and do my best to encourage them through whatever their struggle may be.

But this pandemic is a global one and I don’t know how to put my arm around the shoulders of the twenty seven million teenagers across America or the one billion teenagers around the world.

My heart is broken for teenagers, as I’m sure is yours. This already-struggling-with-anxiety generation is having their inner pain exacerbated exponentially by the frustration and desperation that erupts from the kind of isolation they are experiencing as a result of this pandemic.

Dr. Harold Koplewicz, an adolescent psychiatrist and president of the Child Mind Institute said this about these teenagers in an interview with Time“They are stressed now because of the lack of structure of school, missing big chunks of their lives—whether it’s dating, graduation, proms, classes—and there’s worry about their parents’ finances and there’s worry about everyone’s health.”

What teens are going through globally, especially high school seniors, breaks my heart.

And my heart is broken for another reason. My son, Jeremy, is a highIMG_1651 school senior this year. I feel bad as a dad because you only get to graduate from high school once. It’s just not going to be the same for him as it was for me and my wife when we graduated.

My heart goes out to every high school senior as they try to make sense of this whole thing and every parent and teacher who is seeking to make the best of a sad situation.

About a month ago I began to ask God what I could do to help encourage not just my son, but every high school senior. And the Lord answered my prayer.

The answer came in the form of two words, “Baccalaureate ceremony.” According to thespruce.com “a baccalaureate is a non-denominational spiritual service that allows for public school graduates to find spiritual meaning that aligns with their personal beliefs.”

Although these kinds of services aren’t held as often today, I began to ask myself: What if I was able to help pull together some kind of national baccalaureate service for high school seniors across the nation to encourage and inspire them?

So I went to Mr. Hasz, the superintendent at Faith Christian Academy where Jeremy is graduating this year, and shared the idea with him. He was all in. Then I went to my old friend Allen Weed who runs a music and media ministry to teenagers and youth leaders called interlinc and he was all in too!

It also happens that Allen’s ministry provides the number one grad gift in the nation: The gift of music and encouragement, ConGRADulations! These gifts of music have been given to over 1.3 million graduates! Allen told me that he was so excited about the idea of this service for seniors that interlinc was making this service their official streaming event!

Over the last few weeks things have really started to come together. We gave this event a name, “The National Senior Sendoff”, secured a website (nationalseniorsendoff.com) and started putting the program together.

It feels like everyone has jumped in to help pull it off!

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Gabrielle Odom, a high school senior from Minnetonka High School, who has spoken at many national events, will be doing the senior address. She is a one-of-IMG_3314a-kind teenager who is not only on fire for God, but being used by Him to set teenagers across the nation ablaze with a passion for Jesus! She boldly declared, “A global pandemic will not stop us seniors from changing the world for God!

Musicians, athletes and ministry leaders are coming out of the woodwork to encourage these high school seniors! For KING & COUNTRY, David Crowder, Bethany Hamilton and others will share words of encouragement on this amazing night.

Tobymac will be sharing as well! Here’s what he had to say: “I know the Class of 2020 has looked forward to a prom, spring sports, and graduation. Everything’s changed. But where there’s change and hard times, there is God and He is going to get us through this.”  

I will be giving a sermon that night as well. You can be sure that the gospel will be given and every senior and their families will be challenged to embrace the message and mission of Jesus (after all I am “the Dare 2 Share guy!”)

The National Senior Sendoff will end with a time of prayer led by my friend Reza Zedah, who happens to be the chaplain for my favorite football team on the planet, the Denver Broncos. Reza, an Iranian born follower of Jesus who converted to Christianity in college, will lead every family watching online in a time of prayer over their high school senior. It will be his prayer and the prayers of these families that will commission these high school seniors for what lies ahead.

The National Senior Sendoff, an inspirational virtual event for High School Seniors and their families during the Pandemic will be held on May 28th, 6:00 – 7:00 pm MDT.

Partners have jumped on board like crazy! They include Dare 2 Share (of course!) Faith Christian AcademyinterlincCampus AlliancePro Athletes OutreachSports SpectrumPromise KeepersClaim Your CampusEvery Student SentStudent Leadership UniversityGo2020Winter JamColorado Christian UniversityLifefestYouth AliveAssemblies of GodReach Out SolutionsMoms in Prayer (there’s nothing more dangerous to the kingdom of Satan than an army of praying moms!), How to Life Movement and a growing list of others!

This whole event is a labor of love for me and for all of us helping to make this happen. Yes, I am a ministry leader, but I’m also a dad who wants his son to have the most meaningful night possible, along with seniors across the nation and around the world. That’s exactly what Mr. Hasz, Allen Weed and Reza want as well! That’s what Matt, who’s been working tirelessly behind the scenes on the tech side, wants too. That’s what Gabrielle and every artist and athlete speaking that night wants! That’s what every partner listed wants!

We want to bless seniors and their families with a night of inspiration and encouragement that is rooted in the gospel and focused on Jesus!

I hope you tune into nationalseniorsendoff.com as a family on May 28th from 6:00 -7:00 pm MT. I’m praying it’s a night that high school seniors and their families never forget!

For press inquiries and interview requests, please contact Heather Smith, heathersmith@dare2share.org

This article originally appeared here.

Remembering Darrin Patrick: Death Does Not Have the Final Say

communicating with the unchurched

This past Sunday, Seacoast Church in South Carolina posted a video in remembrance of Pastor Darrin Patrick, who died suddenly on May 7. Seacoast’s founding pastor, Greg Surratt, gave the message, during which he shared part of Patrick’s story and explored what the Bible says about how to respond when we lose a friend.

“I believe that this week, God has been crying,” said Surratt. “He’s been crying with the Patrick family as they weep, especially at night. He’s been crying with all of Darrin’s friends, and he’s been crying with this Seacoast family that we love so much.”

Greg Surratt: Our Hearts Are Broken

“A week ago Thursday, we lost a friend,” said Surratt. Surratt first met Darrin Patrick at a gathering of church planting organizations. Patrick was an impressive communicator who had written books and was a featured speaker at major conferences worldwide. The two agreed to exchange numbers, and Surratt was surprised when Patrick asked, “Are you going to answer me when I call?” 

At first, Surratt thought this was an arrogant question. “But later,” he said, “I found that it was a sincere question of an orphan looking for a spiritual father.” The pastors kept up a friendship throughout the years and spoke at each other’s churches. Patrick was pastoring at The Journey Church in St. Louis, Missouri, during that time. Then about four years ago, he called Surratt with sobering news. “He was in trouble,” said Surratt. He had made some poor decisions that, taken as a whole, were “very troubling.”

Journey ended up letting Patrick go, although Surratt made it clear that the church was very supportive of Patrick through that experience. Then, said Surratt, Patrick “entered into a deeply flawed recovery process of which I was a part…I thought it was destructive at times.” Surratt said he talked to Patrick about his concerns, but the pastor responded, “I want to stick it out.”

“The landscape was littered at that point with leaders who fell and chose not to submit to a process of restoration,” said Surratt. “And he didn’t want that.”

Patrick slowly recovered. Surratt eventually asked him to share his story with Seacoast and then with more people, including other pastors. “Pastors just gravitated toward Darrin,” said Surratt, “especially those who were hurting.” Darrin Patrick came on staff with Seacoast, and he and Surratt started The Pastors Collective to give church leaders a safe place to process their challenges. Said Surratt, “We dreamed of helping leaders lead in a healthy way, and I believe we were making a difference in many, many lives.”

Then Surratt got a call from Patrick’s wife with the news that he was gone. Patrick was out shooting and his gun went off and took his life. Was it intentional? “I’m going to be honest,” said Surratt. “We don’t know yet.”

“The bottom line is that our friend is gone and our hearts are broken,” he said. “The circumstances are complicated. There’s an ongoing investigation. We may know soon, or we may never know. We’re learning to trust God. And we will be honest with you in the process.” 

Learning from Jesus

We can learn a lot, said Surratt, about how to respond when we lose a friend by looking at how Jesus responds to the death of his friend Lazarus in John 11. Jesus deliberately stays away when his good friend is sick and only comes after Lazarus dies because the plan is for God to be glorified through Lazarus’s resurrection. Yet when Jesus arrives and sees everyone mourning, he grieves with them. Said Surratt, “You need to know that when you hurt, God weeps.” Even though Jesus knew “the end of the story,” that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, he still wept over death and the pain it caused. 

180 Churchgoers Exposed to COVID-19 by Asymptomatic Member

Butte County
Screengrab Youtube @PBFClive

Almost 200 people were exposed to the novel coronavirus during a Mother’s Day church service held against government orders in Butte County, California. Local officials announced that someone who attended Palermo Bible Family Church on May 10 tested positive for COVID-19 the next day. Now the 180-plus attendees are being advised to self-quarantine—and are being presented as an example of what can happen if reopening is rushed.

Pastor Defends Decision to Gather

In a now-deleted Facebook post, Pastor Mike Jacobsen says he decided to have in-person worship on Mother’s Day after being “kept out of our church for seven weeks and away from our church family.” He says the person who later tested positive was asymptomatic that Sunday but woke up feeling ill the next day. That individual is now in isolation at home.

“I would never with knowledge put anyone in [harm’s] way,” Jacobsen writes. “I am fully aware that some people may not understand that it is essential for our church to be together in community.” The church’s services are online-only until further notice.

Health officials notified all the May 10 worshipers about their possible exposure and are working to provide testing for them. Under California’s stay-at-home orders, in-person religious services aren’t yet allowed. Earlier in May, a federal judge ruled that Gov. Gavin Newsom has the authority to prohibit church gatherings during the pandemic to safeguard public health.

Gatherings Can Cause ‘major setback’

Butte County health officials say the church’s decision to violate restrictions “comes at a cost of many hours and a financial burden to respond effectively to slow or stop the spread of COVID-19.” Initially, the church wasn’t named.

Public health director Danette York says, “At this time, organizations that hold in-person services or gatherings are putting the health and safety of their congregations, the general public, and our local ability to open up at great risk.” She adds, “Moving too quickly through the reopening process can cause a major setback and could require us to revert back to more restrictive measures.”

Butte county is one of 22 California counties that had been permitted to reopen more businesses, but gatherings of any size—including religious gatherings—remain off-limits. So far, the state has had about 78,800 coronavirus cases and 3,200 deaths. During “stage three,” the next phase of California’s reopening plan, some gatherings may be possible.

Lockdown orders continue to face legal challenges throughout America. In North Carolina Saturday, a judge ruled that indoor church services could temporarily resume without limits. The Rev. Ron Baity of Return America filed the lawsuit, saying it was wrong to let retailers but not churches reopen at 50 percent capacity. “There was one standard for the church and another standard for the funeral home, another standard for businesses and the malls, etc., and it wasn’t right,” says Baity, pastor of Berean Baptist Church in Winston-Salem.

Gov. Roy Cooper says he won’t appeal the ruling but wants churches to be cautious. “We don’t want indoor meetings to become hotspots for the virus,” a spokesperson says, “and our health experts continue to warn that large groups sitting together for long periods of time are much more likely to cause the spread of COVID-19.”

Pastor, Please Don’t Cut Off Your Ear

communicating with the unchurched

I saw this post from a pastor this past weekend and it reminded me of Vincent Van Gogh:

“I’m wrestling through my significance as a pastor. I didn’t realize how much I relied on attendance numbers to tell me if I was winning in my job, or to give me a sense of significance. Now that I can’t accurately count numbers, I’m finding myself fighting an ongoing feeling of failure. That says a lot about where my heart was found and the magnitude of work that Christ still has to do in me.”

I think a lot of pastors can relate. We can’t see the people were ministering to, we don’t get feedback other than a few comments in the chat, and attendance numbers are wild guesses at best. We feel insignificant and we feel guilty for feeling insignificant at the same time. Oddly enough I think we can get some perspective from a guy who died over 100 years ago. He preached a few sermons, but he was really bad at it. When he finally changed careers people said he was even worse at his new vocation. This was a guy who knew what it was to feel insignificant.

After Vincent Van Gogh’s became an artist in his 30s one of his biggest struggles in life was that he could not sell his paintings. Even though his brother was one of the most successful art dealers in Paris no one was interested in Vincent’s art. He studied with the masters of the time, he changed his style and his setting, and he sent his brother canvas after canvas. All to no avail. He died penniless, convinced he was a failure because he never found significance as a painter. 

A few years after Vincent’s death his brother’s widow, left with little more than stacks of Vincent’s worthless canvases, began to market his paintings to the local galleries. The art sensibilities in Paris were changing, and soon Vincent’s paintings were in demand. Within a few years he became one of the most desired artists of the early 20th century. In 2017 one of his paintings, pictured with this post, sold for over $81 million dollars. Vincent Van Gogh is now revered as one of the greatest artists of the past 200 years.

What changed? Obviously Vincent did not change; he was dead before a single painting sold. The paintings, the settings and the models did not change; every painting was exactly as it was when Vincent put away his brush. All that changed were the metrics of his success. When he could not sell a painting he was deemed a failure, when his paintings became collectors items he was heralded as a genius. Vincent saw the world from a perspective no one had seen before. He painted sunflowers and wheat fields in ways that captivate art lovers 100 years after his death. It took the world decades to realize that what Vincent painted were masterpieces.

Pastors, when all church gatherings were cancelled you lost all of the metrics that helped you measure your significance. You aren’t shallow or evil because you miss those metrics, those are the standards that helped you understand if you were making progress. Sure, some of the metrics were more valid then others, but everyone needs some form of measure to mark progress.

Here is the reality, your life is a masterpiece, God said so himself.

‘For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

You are invaluable, and you are called to do work that really matters. You may have lost some of the metrics that reinforced what God says is true about you, but your value hasn’t diminished at all. The “Portrait of Dr Gachet” was a masterpiece when Van Gogh painted it in 1890, long before it was purchased for millions of dollars. You were a masterpiece before Covid-19 and you are still a masterpiece today. The sermons you preach matter. The leadership lessons you teach matter. The life you model with your family and your congregation matters. You are significant, God is proud of you, and all of us who are following are thankful you are leading us through this season.

This article with reference to Van Gogh originally appeared here.

Curbing Our Complaints: Lessons for the Church in the Desert

communicating with the unchurched

If the nation of Israel thought that they were going to step foot immediately from the shores of the Red Sea into the lush boundaries of the Promised Land, they were sorely mistaken. Instead, they are met with decades-long of suffering in the wilderness. God tells them repeatedly during this time that His purpose is to “test” them—to prove their faith in Him, deepen their reliance on Him, and wean them from confidence in this passing world. Israel repeatedly fails the test, and their exuberant song of salvation quickly turns into the bitter cry of complaints (Exodus 15). And yet, again and again, God gives them every reason to rest and rely on Him; indeed, even to be content with His gracious provision. We are to do the same.

The Rev. William Taylor, a preacher in New York City in the late 19th century, said, “We may learn that we are not done with hardship once we have left Egypt.”[1] Just as Israel is not immediately transported from Egypt to Canaan, so we are not immediately transferred from justification to glorification: there is a lifetime of sanctification in between, a lifetime of God testing us to prove our faith, deepen our trust, and focus our gaze on the things that are above. While at times more keenly felt, the entire age of the church is one of wilderness wanderings and sanctified sufferings. We are members of the church militant, which implies there will be conflict and trouble.

How will we respond? As we look at this particular period in Israel’s history, consider these few reflections to help us curb our complaints and instead be filled with joyful contentment.

The Problem of Pessimism

We must be cautious to define our lives based on our present circumstance. After three days without water, the Israelites are understandably discouraged and shaken up where the first source of water they come to turns out to be unfit for human consumption. They thought they had found the solution to their thirst, but their hopes were dashed. The water is “bitter,” and so immediately the people name the area “Bitter” as well (Exodus 15:23). Because the water was bitter, everything was viewed through the spectacles of bitterness. To put it bluntly, their sin was a severe pessimism. Pessimism is where one takes the worst perspective on a situation and then from that perspective extrapolates out their entire disposition, their worldview, and even their understanding of God. For Israel, bitterness not only defines the water or the region, it defines them.

Yet pessimism has no place in the heart or life or behavior of a Christian. I’m not saying that there are never disappointing moments in life. Of course there are. Writing in the midst of the 2020 Coronavirus pandemic, there are any number of reasons to be discouraged: Health concerns, financial worries, social restrictions, in-person worship limitations, to name just a few. How do we reply to these things? With complaints?

It seems as though nearly every day I am reading headlines from the media that our defining our present day and age in dire terms—the economy will never be the same, professional sports as we know it are over (!), can higher education ever recover, and so on. The church should put no label on this crisis other than that of Romans 8:28, “We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Right now, our great failure as a church would be to respond to our trial in the desert the way that Israel did, with absolutely no categories for how something bitter might be made better. Pessimism says nothing can ever make this better. But we have the Bible, we have the whole story, and we know that things can only get better.

Bitterness to Blessings

And of course, that’s exactly what happens in the early wilderness wanderings episodes. God proves His faithfulness by transforming their bitter experience into one of abundant provision. Nature is upturned as Moses, heeding God’s commands, performs a miracle by throwing a log into the waters which make them become potable and refreshing (v. 25). Should we be surprised? After all, as God Himself declares, “I am the LORD, your healer” (v. 26). God’s intentions toward us, His precious people, are never to hurt or to harm, but always to bless and to heal. Knowing this heart of God in heaven towards sinners on earth will radically transform the way we think about our difficulties, our trials, and the things that make us want to complain. So let us learn this remarkable truth from this remarkable event: There is no bitter providence that God will not turn sweet for those who call upon His name in faith. Yes, He gives us a bitter cup at times, and we must drink it down to the dregs—yet somehow we learn afterwards that the bitter cup has become sweet.

The reason for all of this is the cross. Just as that tree was thrown into the bitter water, the cross was thrust into a bitter world. And for those who believe, it is the cross that transforms bitterness to sweetness. Christ and all of his sufferings and death transform our suffering and death. What would otherwise be unbearable now is the means by which we come to know God better, we come to love Jesus more, we come closer to heaven—and that is sweet indeed.

John Newton reflects on this in a long-forgotten hymn:

Bitter, indeed, the waters are
Which in this desert flow;
Though to the eye they promise fair,
They taste of sin and woe.

But there’s a wonder-working wood,
I’ve heard believers say,
Can make these bitter waters good,
And take the curse away.

The cross on which the Savior died,
And conquered for His saints;
This is the tree, by faith applied,
Which sweetens all complaints.

When we, by faith, behold the cross,
Tho’ many griefs we meet;
We draw again from every loss,
And find the bitter sweet.[2]

Can you imagine coming upon that bitter lake, not having drunk anything in three days, and there is no God, no servant of God, to throw in the log for you and make the water palatable? That is the reality for all who do not know Christ. The conversion of our bitterness to sweetness comes through faith in the bitter pains of Jesus Christ. His pains bring all joy, life, and sweetness to those who believe.

Content in Christ

This lesson is brought out even more clearly just a few passages later. At the beginning of Exodus 17, Israel finds themselves again without water, and again they begin to complain at a seemingly bitter providence. But Moses strikes a rock and from there God produces streams in the desert for the people. So too Christ was struck for us by the wrath of God on the cross, and for us there are now only “streams of mercy, never ceasing.” So Paul writes, “the Rock was Christ” (1 Cor. 10:4).

The rock was Christ, and this Rock is our Christ. And since that’s true, how could we ever murmur complaints about our circumstances? Even during these trying times, may the church’s testimony be that of trust in a Savior who does all things well. The current crisis is spiritually challenging, no doubt. But that fact does not excuse our complaining. If we are prone to complain during these times, it really is revealing that we have never been perfectly content in Christ to begin with. A. W. Pink puts it quite memorably when he says that “testings reveal the state of our hearts—a crisis neither makes nor mars a man, but it does manifest him.”[3]

How will the church be manifest, to the world in particular, during such a time as this? We have Jesus, therefore we have every reason to be content.


Notes

[1] Quoted in James Montgomery Boice, The Life of Moses (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R 2018), 124.

[2] John Newton, “Bitter, indeed, the waters are” from Olney Hymns (1779).

[3] Quoted in Richard D. Phillips, Hebrews (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R, 2006), 99.

This article about curbing our complaints originally appeared here.

8 Signs of an Emotionally Anxious Leader

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My dad was an electrical engineer and filled his shop in our basement with the most amazing gizmos. Transistors, capacitors, transformers, electrical tools and every conceivable gadget lined the shelves and entertained me for hours. My favorite gadget was a neon sign transformer. A transformer is a device that either steps up or steps down current. The metal green box in a yard down your street or the cylindrical container on a telephone pole near your house is a transformer that steps down high-voltage power to 220 volts that comes into your house. So what does a transformer have to to with an emotionally anxious leader? Read on.

With my dad’s neon sign transformer, I made what is called a Jacob’s ladder. I attached two three-foot wires to the leads on each side, and bent the wires into a V. When I plugged it in, a multi-thousand volt spark started at the bottom of the V and arced to the top. In this case, the transformer stepped up the household current to over two thousand volts. My Jacob’s ladder created lots of really cool sparks that appealed to my geekish interests. And I got shocked by it only once.

A leader is like a transformer. By his responses, he can either defuse an emotional setting like a heated board meeting or can act like a step-up transformer by reacting and increasing anxiety, thus causing lots of not-so-cool sparks, as we leaders often do. Through a calm presence with emotional people, a leader can act like an emotional step-down transformer, decreasing the group’s anxiety by letting it pass through him without getting zapped.

Sometimes as leaders, however, we can characterize emotionality and anxiety one-dimensionally as defensiveness. But chronic anxiety, the low level anxiety we seem to never shake, fuels emotionality and shows up in eight ways that I call “the eight Fs of chronic anxiety.” It manifests itself differently in different people.

As you read the list below, consider which F tempts you the most to determine if you’re an anxious leader.

  • Fight: emotionally reacting and becoming defensive (how we usually describe emotionality)
  • Flee: emotionally or physically cutting off from others in anxious situations
  • Freeze: not knowing what to do, thus not taking a position; offering no opinion and/ or staying neutral when you should take a position
  • Fuse: losing your identity by glomming on to others’ wants and desires, compromising convictions, seeking unity at all costs and/ or trying to force everybody to be one big, happy family
  • Fixate: easily getting triangled into unhealthy relationships and conflict
  • Fix: overperforming to fix somebody else’s problems or doing for others what they should do for themselves
  • Flounder: becoming passive, underperforming, or giving up
  • Feed/ fornicate/ finances: inappropriately yielding to base impulses by turning to food, illicit sex/ pornography or inappropriate use of money

When we are tempted to deal with our anxiety with one of the 8 F’s, we must look to Jesus.

Jesus experienced the full range of human emotions. He wept when he heard that Lazarus had died. He became angry at the temple moneychangers. He felt a heavy heart in the garden of Gethsemane. Yet his behavior reflected anything but anxious reactivity.

Jesus’ response to his enemies throughout his trial and crucifixion, as 1 Peter 2: 23 illustrates, continues to amaze me.

“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”

Every time I recall this verse, I stand in awe. Although Jesus possessed God’s power to destroy his detractors, he didn’t. Rather, he leaned into his heavenly Father to respond appropriately to hardship. Likewise, as we lean into our heavenly Father, he gives us what we need to say no to reactivity and dealing with our anxiety in unhealthy and sinful ways.

The Bible tells us that the Lord has given us everything we need to live a godly life. Second Peter 1: 3 is so powerful as it encourages us with these words.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

God has crafted our bodies and brains, our souls and minds, and our regenerated hearts with the capability to cool our emotions in the midst of emotionality. Acting calmly when tempted to do otherwise glorifies him.

What has helped you deal with anxiety that ministry often brings?

This article about signs of an anxious leader originally appeared here.

The Most Effective Way to Build Trust in a Small Group

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The Most Effective Way to Build Trust in a Small Group

I would wager that a lack of trust in a small group will lead to a lack of a small group within weeks. A small group may be the only place a person has throughout the week where they do not have to live up to others’ expectations of them, and can truly be themselves. How do we foster an environment of trust where everyone feels the freedom to be vulnerable about where they are in their spiritual journey?

Many of us have probably heard more than once things we can do to foster trust: group confidentiality, sharing stories, ice breakers, sharing a meal, etc. These are all great, but after reading The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction by Adam McHugh, I am wondering if modeling a posture of listening might be the most effective way to build trust.

Sadly, our culture, including the church, rarely listens well. If I am not careful, I can believe the subtle lie that the people I lead are always looking for sage advice and love for me to pontificate. After all it is a lot easier to tell people what to do than to listen and allow them to bring their mess and junk into my life.

When we truly listen to another, we create a space for them to fully enter into the complexities of life and allow the other to truly be herself. As Adam writes, “Good listening is always open to surprise. Listening takes seriously that other people are truly ‘other,’ that human beings are mysteries wrapped in flesh, infinitely surprising, and that no matter how long you’ve known a person you actually have little access to the deep things inside them” (The Listening Life, 149). A posture of listening is one that surrenders control, seeking to stop making another into my image, but rather allowing him to be who God created him to be. In being listened to, people feel loved, cherished and known, are more likely to share more, and invite others to join them.

If listening is foundational to creating an atmosphere of trust, here are some tips on how to listen well.

• Ask good, open-ended questions: questions that invite exploration without a hint of control. As a small group leader, my questions should never be about getting the right answer or, and this is where I can struggle, seeking to push my agenda. Rather, a good question will allow each group member to explore his own ideas in freedom. Sometimes the best question you can ask is, “Can you tell me more about that?”

• Reflect back on what another just shared. In reflecting back you validate what he just shared. Also in reflection, you are trying to help the other person find the underlying emotions, values and beliefs in what she just shared.

• Make sure your bodily posture is one that shows you are listening. Make eye contact; nod; audible sounds like “uh huh,” “hmm” or “really?” can show that you are listening; even how you sit communicates the degree to which you are listening.

I firmly believe that as people are listened to, they will trust the group more, but even more importantly they will learn to trust our Heavenly Father who always hears and listens.  

This article originally appeared here.

Top 10 Christian Cliches

Editor’s note: We all have a tendency to overuse certain Christian words or sayings until they become cliche. In this no-frills article, Nicole Cottrell explores many of these potential phrases. We invite you to share additional catch-phrases—and your thoughts on the ones listed—in the comment section below.

Some of you may remember the phrases I never want to hear again, like “git ‘er done” and “I’m just sayin’.” This time, I’m picking on Christians (since I am one and all).

I’m just gonna say it—Christians say some crazy things.

We think we are being spiritual, godly, helpful, wise, encouraging, but really we are sticking our big stinky feet in our big open mouths. There are quite a few phrases within the church that irk me. I’m guessing you feel the same.

Here are the Top 10 Christian phrases I never want to hear again—starting with …

1. “Guard your heart.”

Yes, this phrase is scriptural and comes from Proverbs 4:23. I have usually heard this snippet of Scripture used in reference to a dating relationship.

One girl would pray for another something like this: “Lord, please help her ‘guard her heart’ in this relationship with this particular boy … .” What they really want to pray and what they really should pray is: “Lord, help her be sexually pure and stay out of bed in this relationship with this particular boy … .” Just pray what you mean.

2. “I’ll pray for you.”

OK, this one is tricky, because I don’t want to judge. I want to believe that when someone says they will pray for you, they will actually pray.

I suspect, however, that all too often, Christians throw this phrase out as a nice-ism to either make someone feel better or because they don’t know what else to say.

Side note: I take this phrase very seriously, and I want you to know that when I say that I will pray for you, I actually will.

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