3 Great Values of Small Group Life

August 11, 2019

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

I’ll admit my bias, I’m a fan of small group life.

In my observation, the best and most enduring stories of life change are connected to some form of small group life.

Christianity was never designed to be a journey taken alone. In fact, I don’t believe you can live your faith journey to its fullest potential by yourself.

You can know Jesus as Savior, but you will not likely experience the fullness of growth and maturity that you are designed for, if you do it on your own.

It’s not a legalistic proposition. There have been seasons where I’ve not been in a small group. But I can tell you that I always live better in the context of connection with others on a similar faith journey – in pursuit of greater understanding and intimacy with God.

From decades of leading men’s small groups, to leading and participating in couple’s small groups, and currently participating on a church board that pursues spiritual connection and life transparency to such a degree it is a form of group life!

Your church likely offers small groups too.

But no matter how much encouragement you give, it’s not easy to inspire all of your congregation to get involved in a group.

Before we get into the three great values of small groups, here’s a quick look at three of the most common false beliefs that keep your people out of groups with a practical approach to increasing participation.

3 false beliefs that prevent people from joining small groups:

1) The belief that there is not enough value.

One person said to me: “It’s not worth the trade.” I asked what he meant, and he said, “My previous group experience was not spiritually productive. We had great fun together, but I can’t afford a night a week just to hang out and have good coffee.”

Personally, I do want a fun group, but I understand his response. He wants to grow spiritually.

A practical solution is higher quality and better trained leaders. The best leaders are those who can create an environment conducive to spiritual growth, and also make it fun!

2) The belief that there is not enough respect or understanding.

This belief of perhaps being embarrassed or even made to feel “less than” is usually from those who have never tried a group. But it’s nonetheless real and keeps people from attending.

A practical solution is to clearly communicate expectations and group norms.

Let your congregation know straight up that everyone is loved and accepted and has something to offer from their own life story. No one is put on the spot and everyone is encouraged to go at their own pace.

3) The belief that there is not enough time.

It is true that the majority of your congregation lives a very busy life. They work hard, take time for family life, and want to rest a little at the end of the day.

But there is enough time when you are motivated by something you want.

A practical solution is to communicate the potential for a better and more fulfilling life through real stories of life change. Don’t limit your challenge to mere mechanics such as “Everyone get in a group.” Cast vision for why it’s so important.

3 Great Values of Small Group Life

(These will help you communicate the value of groups in your church.)

1) Sustained life change happens best in small group life.

God can and does move in large group experiences. The obvious example is your Sunday morning worship experience. The Holy Spirit is present and active, worship stirs the soul, and the truth of Scripture inspires life change. It can happen in a moment.

However, we also know that continued and sustained life change (growth) doesn’t happen by the large group experience alone. An environment is needed to make it practical.

2) Life makes more sense in the context of small group life.

As a pastor for more than thirty years I can tell you that life is more complicated now than ever before. Life is wonderful, but it’s complicated. Culture is changing rapidly, people have more questions, and sometimes life just doesn’t make sense.

This sometimes leads to constructing a “theology” of life that fits their circumstances rather than fits the reality of God and biblical truth.

Small group doesn’t necessarily answer all of life’s questions, but hearing other’s experience helps life make sense, and together you live life better.

3) Small group life provides opportunity for spiritual leadership.

When you are part of a small group you receive great value, but you always receive more when you lead the group.

You may give more in terms of preparation, prayer and serving those in your group, but when you lead the group, your personal growth is exponential. It’s based on the simple principle that you get out of it what you put into it.

Small group ministry provides the incredible opportunity for individuals to step up and lead. There is nothing quite like it. Seeing life change on the front lines is a gift that you just can’t put a price tag on.

This article about small group life originally appeared here.

5 Ways Livestreaming Church Services Can Help Expand Your Congregation

Sling Studio

August 11, 2019

Livestreaming has become a mainstay for many houses of worship. Churches of all sizes have discovered that livestreaming church services is a wonderful option for those who aren’t able to attend services in person and can also help expand a congregation across the globe.

Some congregation members may be unable to leave their home, military personnel stationed abroad, or families who miss church because of illness. Additionally, there are some people who simply prefer watching a livestreamed service over going to a physical church.

There are churches that have large budgets to work with while many have very small budgets or close to nothing at all. Large or small, here are five ways that livestreaming can help your congregation reach every corner of the world:

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1) Make the World Your Audience: By livestreaming your church sermons, it’s now possible to share your inspirational message to a broader audience and help them stay connected from any location. Viewers can be at home in their PJs or even watching from a small town in Bostwana.

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2) Keep Them Connected: Moving away doesn’t have to mean losing connection. Wouldn’t it be amazing to have out of town relatives be able to enjoy your congregation’s youth concerts? Grandma won’t miss a beat of her grandchild’s holiday performance with live broadcasts!

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3) Make Fundraising More Dynamic: Go beyond the four walls of your church and use video for your fundraising efforts. Whether you are raising money for a youth program, missionary trip or helping a member in need; a livestreamed fundraising video can reach new supporters.

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4) Upgrade Your Youth Programming: Teenagers, or as we affectionately call them “screenagers,” can help your ministry spread the word through social media. Connect with them on their favorite platforms, and watch your messages go viral to their circle of friends.

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5) Take Them on the Mission: It would be great to bring the entire church on the mission journey to a distant land, but it’s not always financially practical or possible. Instead, use livestreaming to share the story of your mission work in real time – let others back home see the difference you are making for communities in other parts of the country or the world.

Worth a look: Check out how Pastor Mark Leonard, who is also a video producer, uses SlingStudio to do church a little bit differently. He feels it’s extended his creativity and taken his production to another level.

7 Important Tactics That Makes Kids Feel Valuable

Nicki Straza

August 10, 2019

I am of the opinion that kids are not inferior or “less” than adults. In fact, I believe that kids can and should play a significant role in creating a culture within a community and they do not have to wait until they have the maturity of an adult to do so. Kids play a huge role in ministry, and when we give them the space to do so as kids, they grow up to be adults who know they have a role in ministry. How can you make kids feel valuable? Here are 7 ways.

7 Important Tactics That Makes Kids Feel Valuable

1. Treat Them As Contributors.

Taking time to listen to their ideas and communicating their value is very important. Allow yourself to learn from the kids by letting them know that this was an idea you hadn’t thought of or one that you wish to take and implement into your own life. This posture of collaboration is excellent modeling of honor, humility, and teamwork. When students feel that what they have to offer is valued, they will in turn give you respect and listen to what you have to say. This mutual display of honor is the bedrock of effective influence. If you wish to influence students towards positive behavior changes, do so by taking a coaching role vs an instructor or even disciplinarian role with your students.

2. Expect Them To Behave As Capable Kids

The Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, states that the greater the expectation that is placed on someone, the better they perform. The reverse is also true (known as the Golem Effect) low expectations lead to a decrease in performance. Simply having these heightened expectations placed on them can give them space to stretch and grow in areas they may have settled otherwise. Don’t allow excuses, and affirm good choices whenever you have the opportunity to. Kids will rise to the opportunities you give them, don’t minimize what you think they are capable of doing, let them try!

3. Correct Behavior Not Children

In any class dynamic, there will be moments where correction needs to take place. Be sure to address the behavior and choices that are being made versus making statements about the value of the child. For example, “Andy, would you re-consider your choice to throw garbage at your neighbor?” versus “Andy, stop throwing garbage, I need you to be a good boy.” The latter phrase suggests that making bad choices makes the child a bad person. We all have the power to change when we make a different decision. Empowering kids in this way, lets them know that they are valuable.

4. Use Their Ideas

Nothing is more affirming then when someone uses your idea over simply acknowledging it. Put an idea to work, use an idea, and give credit to the child who came up with the idea. The more involved kids are in the process, and the more their contributions are put to work, the more valued they feel. Contribution breeds confidence and confidence builds self-esteem.

5. Affirm Positive Behavior

Take moments to affirm, acknowledge, and share moments when you see a child choosing well. A high five, or a public acknowledgment can be very affirming, however, the most valuable affirmation happens privately. If you notice a child making good choices, take note and take a moment to approach them personally, or write them a note that acknowledges what you saw.

6. Control Classroom Dynamics

Everyone in their enthusiasm may interrupt or cut someone off, however, to allow this to happen on a regular basis contributes to class chaos and hurt feelings. When you model honor for what the students have to say and help the other students to do the same, while still feeling honored themselves, you maintain a positive classroom dynamic and communicate value and respect. A simple way to communicate value is to help classmates conduct themselves in an honoring way using phrases like:

“Andy, I do want to hear what you have to say, but let’s finish listening to what Alyssa is saying so that we can benefit from what you both have to share.”
“There are so many ideas here that I want to hear as many as possible. Let’s put our hands up and share one at a time, so we can all benefit.”
“Juliette, I would really like to hear what you think about ___________.”

7. Make Room For Interaction Not Just Information

Students are used to being talked at all day. You will get their attention and communicate value simply by making room for them to share their thoughts and opinions on something. The goal of any Sunday school or kids ministry class is not just to pass on information, though that is important. Instead, we need to facilitate critical thinking skills and nurture self and peer awareness. Inviting kids to offer their ideas in discussion and discovery encourages peer to peer education and allows others to learn from the experiences and insights of others. Creating opportunities for kids to act on what they have learned, share their experiences, and enjoy shared emotional experiences bonds learning to their very core.

How do you communicate honor and value to the kids in your family or ministry? Be sure to post in the comments!

Church Leaders: Ministry Is From God, But It Is Not God

Eric Geiger

August 9, 2019

Ministry is from God, but ministry is not God.

When I first began serving in local church ministry, a pastor told me that “church is a great place to hide out and a great place to burn out.” He further explained that ministry can attract workaholics, those who live off affirmation from others for the work they do. And that ministry can also attract people who are somewhat lazy and want to hide, not doing much of anything. The key, he told me, is to work hard and serve passionately without the role becoming your source of life. It was extremely wise and helpful counsel.

All of us tend to err to one of two extremes –workaholism or laziness. Neither is beneficial and both are sinful. The only way to avoid both laziness and workaholism in ministry is to view your role as a gift and not a god. A ministry role is a gift that must be stewarded well, not approached lazily, but it is not a god that we should bow before. Augustine profoundly wrote in his Confessions:

And I viewed the other things below You, and perceived that they neither altogether are, nor altogether are not. They are, indeed, because they are from You; but are not, because they are not what You are… And You are the Lord my God, since You stand not in need of my goodness.

Ministry is from God.

Your role and your ministry are a gift from God. It is not “altogether not;” meaning ministry has great value and is a profound honor and privilege. To be able to serve people in the name of Jesus is an incredible blessing. Christ has given you the gifts you have received. He has given you the passion you possess. To help others encounter the grace of Jesus is thrilling. To witness the Lord transforming people, restoring marriages, and commissioning people to live as salt and light in our world is awesome.

It is so awesome that it can become our god (as it has been mine at times in my “struggling, not where I should be but grateful I am not what I used to be” life).

Ministry is not God.

Ministry is not “altogether” because it is not God; it is beneath God. Ministry is a great gift, but a cruel god. When we make ministry our god, it asks more and more from us without ever satisfying us. It cannot satisfy us because it is not Him. The Lord does not need our goodness. He does not need our good deeds. God can accomplish what He wants to accomplish in our churches and our cities without us. Yet, He wants to use us because He loves us. He invites us to join Him in His work. And as He uses us, His intention is that we would come to know Him more and more and realize more and more that He is better than the blessings He gives – including the work we get to do in His name.

Church leaders—enjoy ministry as a gift, but don’t bow to ministry as a god.

This article about ministry is from God originally appeared here.

If You Haven’t Heard Bear Grylls Give a Pep Talk, You Need To

Jessica Lea

August 9, 2019

“The truth is this: the man in front of you here is often full of nerves,” said Bear Grylls, speaking during one of the final sessions of the Global Leadership Summit 2019.

Grylls is a best-selling author probably best-known for the show, Man vs. Wild. To call him “adventurous” is an understatement. He is a former member of the British special forces and once summited Mount Everest not long after breaking his back in a skydiving accident. Those are just some of his many accomplishments.

Bear Grylls on Surviving the Storms of Life

Yet Bear Grylls said that many people are not aware of how often he has failed in his life or that he regularly deals with fear and self-doubt. Throughout his adventures, there are four main truths that have shaped him and which have carried him through “so many storms.”

1. Failure

Bear Grylls said that his life failures “far outweigh the successes many times over.” The first time he tried out for the British special forces, he failed after six months. On the first day of his first attempt, Grylls said, “I had that dreadful feeling that I’d volunteered for something way beyond my capabilities. And actually, I was right.” He wasn’t fast, smart or good enough, and “that truth hurt.”

But he tried again, this time in winter when the selection process was reportedly more difficult. The second time, he made it to the end and was one of only four people who did so out of 90 who had tried. What’s more, said Grylls, out those four, three of them had failed the first time.

Failures, said Grylls, are essential markers on the way to reaching our dreams. We cannot avoid them. “There’s no shortcut to your goals that avoids failures. It doesn’t exist,” he said. Instead, we must embrace our failures head on. And Bear Grylls’ failures still haunt him. But, he said, “Those failures have also made me and built resilience, quietly over time.”

2. Fear

“Life is scary sometimes,” said Grylls, “and all of us face battles,” but “how we react to that testing determines everything.” While many of us feel disqualified from life because we’re not smart, talented, or beautiful enough, Bear Grylls said that life doesn’t care about those things. Life rewards the determined, those who walk toward their fears.

Three years into the military, Grylls broke his back skydiving. He survived, but then he had to deal with the aftermath of that experience, which included rehabilitation and night terrors. However, he said, “It’s because of the fear that I still choose to jump today.” Every time he skydives now, he dreads it. But the answer to fear is facing it, so he continues to jump.

“Use the fear,” he said. “Become friends with it.” Life experience has taught him that as we move toward our fears, they often melt away. And the scars we receive as we go through life become the most meaningful parts of our stories.

3. Fire

By “fire,” Grylls means the determination to persevere when we feel we are at the end of our strength. Nobody is brilliant, brave, or extraordinary all the time. What sets people apart is following the motto of the British special forces: “Always a little further.”

When most people are giving up and when we feel like giving up ourselves, we need to use that as a trigger to give more and press on. Bear Grylls said, “Persistence requires digging deep and finding that fire that burns inside us all.” He described the hours before he summited Everest. He felt mentally and physically exhausted, and there was a voice in his head telling him he shouldn’t be there, that he didn’t belong, and that he should give up. But he didn’t.

”Know the power of resilience,” said Grylls, “because it really is the storms of life that make us strong.”

4. Faith

“We all face our Everests,” Grylls said, “whether it’s an actual mountain, a hospital, or simply holding down a job and raising a family.” Everest is just a state of mind, and faith is essential to persevering through whatever those challenges are for us.

Grylls said his faith is like a backbone for him and is something that he relies on every day. While it’s hard for him to articulate his Christian faith, he does know that he’s known, loved and forgiven, no matter how often he falls down and fails. He also acknowledged there have been many times he has tried to live his life without God. But even though he has survived doing that, Bear Grylls said he’s realized that he needs Christ’s presence to be complete and fully alive.

For Grylls, faith is “the starting place of many adventures.” It is a journey and “to walk in it every day of our lives takes real courage.”

Finally, Be Thankful

Bear Grylls closed his talk emphasizing how important gratitude is. He knows men who have lost their limbs who never stop smiling. He said, “Treasure those around you, your family, your friends. Don’t take any of them for granted. Our real wealth is always going to be found in our relationships.”

For more content on the 2019 Global Leadership Summit, please see:

Top 50 Quotes From Global Leadership Summit 2019
Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss on the Skills Every Leader Needs
Danielle Strickland: This Is What Influential Leaders Know About Transformational Change
Separating Myth From Truth in the Generations
Craig Groeschel: How to Let Your Constraints Drive Innovation
If You Lead Creatives, This Is What You Need to Know

If You Lead Creatives, This Is What You Need to Know

Megan Briggs

August 9, 2019

Do you lead creatives? Todd Henry affectionately likens this challenging leadership position to “herding tigers.” Henry says leading creatives involves some counterintuitive principles that have the potential to transform your team and give them the incubator they need to create the best work of their lives.

“Trust is the currency of creative teams. Without trust you can’t do wild, imaginative, world-changing work,” Todd Henry said from the stage of the Global Leadership Summit 2019.

What Makes a Good Creative?

There are three qualities good, productive creatives possess. Todd Henry says they are prolific, brilliant, and healthy. A leader of creatives needs to ask whether his or her team possesses these qualities.

Prolific – creatives are required to produce a lot of work, sometimes quickly.
Brilliant – a creative’s work needs to be good. Otherwise, it won’t accomplish what it should.
Healthy – creatives need to work in a sustainable way.

Henry says when a creative or a creative team lacks one of these qualities, chaos ensues. Well, maybe not chaos, but let’s just say things aren’t being done properly and the team isn’t producing what it needs to produce. Specifically, if a team or a creative is:

Prolific + brilliant – healthy = fried (burned out)
Healthy + brilliant – prolific = unreliable
Prolific + healthy – brilliant = fired

What Creatives Need From Their Leaders

It might be counterintuitive, but creatives need stability. Creatives need a stable environment in which to do their “wild, imaginative work,” Henry explains. If there are no rules and absolutely everything is possible, no one will know what to do. Absence of limitations is the enemy of art, Todd Henry says, quoting Orson Welles.

“To produce stability, you have to earn the right to be followed every day,” Henry says.

Leaders have to take the first risk by giving their team of creatives direction, even when they’re not entirely sure what that direction should look like. Another thing a creative team needs is clarity of process. They need to know where they’re going and a loose idea of how they’re going to get there. Additionally, they need to be protected from anyone or anything who’s going to derail the project. Henry gave the example of a team who was commissioned to do a project, and who work on the project diligently, only to have the project scrapped at the last minute by someone (likely outside the team) saying “it’s not working.” In a situation like this, if the leader of the creatives doesn’t protect them from such an outcome, the leader will lose trust, which Todd Henry likens to the “currency of creative teams.”

Secondly, creatives need to be challenged. Creatives need permission to push the boundaries. Todd Henry admits it can be tricky to strike a good balance between a stable environment and challenge since stability and challenge are often in tension with one another. Challenge isn’t simply setting a high bar above a creative. Rather, it involves calling out their potential.

A leader of creatives must understand that the proper mix between challenge and stability is going to be different for each person, and it might take some tweaking to get it just right. To illustrate this point, Henry employed an x/y axis graph and explained:

High challenge and low stability = anger. The team will be upset you challenged them but didn’t provide direction or protection as they work.
Low stability and low challenge = lost. A lack of challenge and no clear direction will produce a team that doesn’t know what to do.
High stability and high challenge = stuck. Creatives don’t want to be micromanaged. This will kill their creativity. They will resort to the phrase you never want to hear from them: “Just tell me what to do.”

“When you find the balance of challenge and stability, your team will THRIVE.” @toddhenry #GLS19 pic.twitter.com/vnqJw3xlUL

— Global Leadership Network (@GLNsummit) August 9, 2019

Top 50 Quotes From Global Leadership Summit 2019

Megan Briggs

August 9, 2019

Craig Groeschel

“Leadership is influence, and everyone has influence.”

“Perfection is often the enemy of progress.”

“If you commit to your what and you’re consumed by the why, you will figure out the how.”

“If you’re not dead, you’re not done!”

“Knowledge leads to conclusions while emotion leads to actions.”

(You can read more about the talk Groeschel gave at GLS here.)

Bozoma Saint John

“If we’re really going to change the way culture is, it’s not leadership…it’s up to us.”

“I think we need to give people the ability to come into our circles and know the full story of who we are.”

Ben Sherwood

“The greatest swordsman in England isn’t afraid of the second-greatest swordsman in England. The greatest swordsman in England is afraid of a farmer with a pitchfork because a farmer with a pitchfork has nothing to lose.”

“There is a high correlation between the quantity and quality of ideas.”

“No matter how hard you get hit, if you maintain your point of reference, you stay on course. It’s when people lose their point of reference as leaders that they get lost.”

“Faith is probably the most powerful survival tool and one of the most important leadership tools as well.”

Liz Bohannon

“Mastery and expertise aren’t actually the end goals for a leader. The goal is to be moving through the cycles of learning.”

“You don’t ‘find your passion’…but you can build it.”

“Each of us is terribly broken and brilliantly bright.”

“The role of a leader is not to be the hero of anyone’s story but to inspire and equip others to be the hero of their own stories.”

“When I made the dream as small as it could possibly be, I became a doer instead of a dreamer.”

Back to School Means Back to the Bible for Some Districts

Stephanie Martin

August 9, 2019

Is it back to the Bible time? Following this spring’s wave of state legislation regarding Bible literacy electives, some students heading back to public school classrooms this fall will learn about the Bible’s history, literature, and values.

Missouri and Alabama are among the states that now have carefully crafted laws allowing schools to offer such courses. Although bills in some states failed, the overall trend is to follow the lead of Kentucky, where the governor signed a Bible literacy bill into law in 2017.

Groups such as the Congressional Prayer Caucus Foundation helped lawmakers in several states draft legislation through Project Blitz. In January, President Trump tweeted about the flurry of activity: “Numerous states introducing Bible Literacy classes, giving students the option of studying the Bible. Starting to make a turn back? Great!”

Chuck Stetson, founder of the Bible Literacy Project, says the movement definitely has momentum. “We’re not too far away from a tipping point,” he says. “Instead of having to find a reason to teach the Bible in public schools academically, as part of a good education, you’re going to have to find a reason not to do it.”

Back to the Bible in Schools: “This isn’t a religion class”

In Missouri, public schools are now encouraged—but not required—to offer Bible electives. Ben Baker, the representative who sponsored that state’s bill, says, “In America, no root runs deeper than the Bible.” It’s “simply a part of the fabric of life.”

Ed Emery, the bill’s sponsor in Missouri’s senate, says, “A lot of our teachers today have been raised in this era where they were told it was illegal to have the language of the Bible in schools, which is absolutely not true.”

Alabama’s legislation and guidelines surrounding it are so new that few classes are in place for this fall. But superintendents say they’re gauging interest and figuring out what to offer and how. Russ Tate, curriculum director for Tuscumbia, says if enough students are interested, “We’ll do everything we can to make [Bible electives] happen in the future.” Core classes for graduation remain the top priority, he notes, but “we’re open to this class offering.”

Tate envisions the elective falling under the English category, while other districts align it with social studies. “This isn’t a religion class,” he says, “but using the Bible as literature.”

Keith Davis, another Alabama superintendent, says Bible electives will likely be available for the 2020-2021 school year. “This course provides the historical basis for something most of these kids have at least been exposed to,” he says. “Anything with a strong moral foundation is good. It’s good for the kids to understand the culture in which they live.”

Schools in Florence, Alabama, had time to set up a Bible class, but Superintendent Jimmy Shaw says they’re waiting to see if enough kids sign up. “We appreciate the option of being able to offer it, but we’ll just let the students decide if they want to take the course,” he says. “It wasn’t a major issue for us.”

Allison Flanagan, a junior in Morgan County, Alabama, says she’s looking forward to the new Survey of the Bible course being offered at her high school and four others. “I’m excited to learn more about the history of [the Bible],” she says, because “that’s not something I get a lot of at church.” Created in conjunction with Piedmont International University, the online elective also provides college credit for students who pass it.

Dexter Rutherford, who has worked in both religious and public schools, says, “I don’t think you can ever do too much to expose children to spiritual values. The schools need to reinforce values, though naturally a specific religious belief would have to be avoided.” He adds that Bible electives aren’t about indoctrination but about “teaching the history and values that bode well for life, such as service to others and that’s always a good thing.”

Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss on the Skills Every Leader Needs

Jessica Lea

August 9, 2019

Having good negotiation skills is an essential skill for leaders, says FBI veteran Chris Voss. Voss, who used to be the lead hostage negotiator for the FBI, started off the second day of the Global Leadership Summit 2019 (GLS) by outlining a series of negotiation skills that all of us, not just leaders, can use on a daily basis.

“Any time the words ‘I want’ or ‘I need’ are coming out of your mouth, you’re in a negotiation,” said Voss, who now helps Fortune 500 companies navigate complex negotiations. And, he told interviewer Paula Faris, “The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don’t know you’re in.”

Key Negotiation Skills

All of us are in five to seven negotiations per day, whether we realize it or not. These negotiations could look like trying to get our kids to go to bed, asking for a raise at work, or buying a car. They could even include debates we’re having with ourselves. And as Daniel Coyle makes clear in his book, The Talent Code, negotiating—like any talent—is something anyone can develop. Voss described a variety of negotiation skills to keep in mind in any negotiation scenario.

First, hear the other side out. “Turn the negotiation into a collaboration,” said Voss, and connect with the other person.
Use tactical empathy. Empathy is being able to completely understand where someone is coming from, even if you don’t like that person. Voss emphasized, “Empathy is not compassion. It is a very compassionate thing to do.” When he would negotiate on behalf of the FBI, he would use tactical empathy by saying, “You must be nervous about negotiating with a negotiator.” He would call out the elephant in the room and empathize with the person he was talking to.
Mirroring is a tactic where you simply repeat what the other person said, which helps people feel that they were heard. If you include upward inflection when you repeat their words (making it sound like a question), this encourages them to elaborate. While this strategy sounds extremely simple, Voss said not to be fooled by its simplicity. The simplicity is what gives these strategies elegance.
At some point, allow people to say “no” to what you’re asking because doing so allows them to feel safe and honest. Said Voss, “You’ll talk to me a lot more after you’ve said ‘no’ than you will if I’ve cornered you into a ‘yes.’”
Avoid the phrase, “You’re right” and instead say, “That’s right.” The greatest practitioners of the phrase, “You’re right,” are husbands, Voss said in a joking manner. However, what this statement really means is that you want the other person to stop talking.
Use effective pauses. Two out of three people are uncomfortable with silence, said Voss, but silence is important because it gives other people the chance to talk.
Be likable. “I can’t control whether you like me,” Voss said, “But I can control whether I’m likeable.” People are six times more likely to make a deal with someone they like, and being likeable is often as simple as smiling.
Don’t say “I understand.” Similar to the “You’re right” phrase, “I understand” is what we say when we want the other person to stop talking so we can talk.
Avoid the word, “Why?” Asking “why” makes people feel as though they’ve done something wrong and causes them to be defensive. So instead of saying, “Why do you want that?” say “What makes you want that?”
Along the same lines, focus on using open-ended questions that begin with “What?” and “How?”
If the negotiation is slipping out of control, it’s because you haven’t earned the other person’s trust. Again, call out the elephant in the room. Say, “I don’t think I’ve earned your trust.”

One takeaway Voss offered at the end of his interview had to do with dealing with fear. While he always had enough faith in the negotiation process (as well as a good team backing him up) that he doesn’t remember being afraid, he does believe fear is a common struggle people have. “We’re hardwired to be afraid,” he said. Curiosity, however, keeps us in a positive frame of mind and helps us not to feel as though we’re committing to something. As a result, Voss believes, “Genuine curiosity is the fastest hack to avoid fear.”

For more content on the 2019 Global Leadership Summit, please see:

Top 50 Quotes From Global Leadership Summit 2019
If You Haven’t Heard Bear Grylls Give a Pep Talk, You Need To
Danielle Strickland: This Is What Influential Leaders Know About Transformational Change
Separating Myth From Truth in the Generations
Craig Groeschel: How to Let Your Constraints Drive Innovation
If You Lead Creatives, This Is What You Need to Know

A Few Creeds Plus the Bible: How to Shepherd a Church toward the Use of Confessions

Raymond Johnson

August 8, 2019

“I agree with every word, but only Roman Catholics read creeds.”

A member of our congregation said this to me after I’d just finished discussing why our church reads creeds and confessions during congregational worship. To him, the issue was at once simple and decisive: our church shouldn’t read creeds because Baptists don’t read creeds.

His sentiment isn’t novel. The purpose of creeds and confessions in the life of the modern church—in this case, Baptist churches—is the subject of much debate. Unfortunately, many churches fail to see the positive impact of creeds and confessions and, in so doing, disregard them altogether. However, creeds and confessions bring unity to the church in both its orthodoxy and its orthopraxy, thus protecting the church from heterodoxy.

But how does a pastor cast a confessional vision of church for a church that has never been confessional?

THE BIBLE DRIVES THE CHANGE

Confessions did not create the church, the Word of God created the church. Thus, evangelicals prioritize preaching. Calvin would go so far as to say, “The church is built up solely by outward preaching. . . . By his word, God alone sanctifies [churches] to himself for lawful use.”[1] The church is created and revitalized through the Word of God by the Spirit of God.

However, an emphasis on the expositional teaching of the Bible will naturally and organically result in a defined confessionalism. Biblical preaching guides a congregation to a defined confessionalism because terms like “Christ” and “church” carry with them massive theological import and doctrinal content. Christ’s identity is highly particular; it communicates something specific about what Jesus did for us and for our salvation (John 20:31; cf. Matt 1:17; 16:16). In the Apostles’ Creed, “church” appropriately precedes “the forgiveness of sins” because forgiveness of sins does not take place apart from the gospel the church preaches (John 20:19–23; Acts 2:38; cf. Isa 33:14–24).

Christians must know something particular about Christ’s identity, about the nature of Christ’s church. Substantial revitalization in the life of the church best occurs with a renewed interest in expositional Bible preaching and a renewal of the church’s confessional life.

PRACTICAL LITURGY FOR BAPTISTS

The idea of liturgy brings us to our original question: “How does a minister cast a confessional vision of church for a church that has never been confessional?” Here’s what it looked like in our church:

Our elders have led our congregation toward a weekly worship rhythm that integrates biblically reflective statements of tradition into corporate worship. Each week, our congregation has a time where we read aloud from either our confession of faith[2] or a creed.

Since our basic beliefs represent the foundational beliefs of Christianity, we consciously see ourselves as guided by four widely accepted and historically Christian statements of faith: the Apostles’ Creed, the Nicene Creed, the Chalcedonian Creed, and the Athanasian Creed.

When we read creeds and confessions, it teaches our congregation that we join with all faithful believers across time and throughout the world today in confessing our faith to the glory of God. As the content of doctrine is repeated and taken in as what is true, the church is unified in its worship.

4 Advantages of Advanced Planning for Sermons and Teaching Series

Eric Geiger

August 8, 2019

When I served as an executive and teaching pastor in Miami, I learned the benefit of planning sermons and teaching series months ahead. I don’t mean the entire sermon completely prepared, but a specific direction for a teaching series and a general direction for each sermon outline within the teaching series. The advanced planning was not only helped me when I was teaching/preaching, but also helped other facets of the church.

When I served at LifeWay, I was close to research studies like this one and learned that the joke about preachers and “their Saturday night specials” (preacher lingo for sermons prepared at the last minute) is more myth than reality. According to the research, the vast majority of pastors prepare more in advance than the night before, but more than half of pastors are “less than a month out” in sermon planning.

Some find planning their sermons far out impractical. Others fear it won’t allow them to address needs that arise in their churches or moments that surface in the culture because the advanced planning will unnecessarily hold them to a direction. I get the argument but because God exists above and outside of time, He can lead us months in advance just as He can lead us in a single moment.

I plan sermon series and the general direction of sermons within a teaching series several months in advance, and here are four advantages:

1. There is more time to pray over the text and topic.

A preacher does not need to be a believer in advanced message prep to be deeply devoted to prayer. I am confident there are many who pray more deeply than I do who are not as far out in their sermon prep as I am. I have much growing to do. What I have learned is that having message direction mapped out in advance gives me more time to pray over the passage and more time to pray about the sermon.

2. There is more time to meditate on the text or topic and apply it personally.

As preachers we must preach as people who have been transformed by what we are preaching. When the text has transformed the preacher, the preacher brings a profound sense of conviction and transparency to the message. I benefit from more time to meditate on a text, apply that text to my life, and repent of my own shortcomings. And I believe the people I teach also benefit from the Word working on me.

3. Illustrations appear through the lens of the teaching series.

When I have a general direction of a sermon, illustrations and personal stories that help teach the text seem to appear in the regular rhythm of life. It is likely because my mind is often on what I will be preaching in the future, so I see life partly through the lens of upcoming sermons.

4. Opportunities for connection to other aspects of the church can be surfaced.

Advanced sermon planning can help other pastors on staff, not just the preacher. Sermons often provide natural connection points to groups or ministries within the church, and when the staff team has advanced notice, they can maximize these opportunities. It is not fair to give them two days notice. Well, you can but better work happens when they have more time.

This article about sermons and teaching series originally appeared here.

5 Heartfelt Ways to Minister After a Miscarriage

Brian Croft

August 8, 2019

A little over 11 years ago, my wife miscarried with our second child. Ever since then, God in his kind providence has provided opportunity after opportunity for my wife and me to minister to other couples after a miscarriage. As common as this kind of loss is, it is stunning how many well-meaning people have no idea how to best care for those who have lost an unborn baby.

Here are a few tips for those interested in knowing helpful ways to care for a couple after a miscarriage.

These people have just experienced this loss and be sensitive to the pain they feel.

1. After a miscarriage, embrace the seriousness of this loss.

The natural instinct of so many is to try to lessen the impact of the loss. The most common approach to accomplish this is to say things like, “Well, you know this is very common,” or “At least you were very early in your pregnancy.” These comments are meant to be helpful, but unfortunately what they typically do is diminish the seriousness of a loss like this. The best way to care for a woman who has experienced a miscarriage is to recognize the seriousness of the loss and the legitimate sorrow she should be feeling.

2. After a miscarriage, encourage both husband and wife to grieve.

Moments after my wife and I found out we had lost the baby, my father (a family doctor) sat us down and explained to us how important it was that we grieved over this loss. That sounded strange to me because the child had not been born yet. We had not known the child like our other. But my father explained how important it was that we still talked about who the child would have acted like and who the child would have looked like. He urged us to be sad over the loss and to grieve over the loss of this child just like any other major loss in our life.

It was freeing that someone told us it was OK, even good, to take time to grieve. That was essential for us to deal with the loss and move forward from it.

3. After a miscarriage, instruct the husband on how to care for his wife.

Husbands can lack discernment in knowing how to care for their wives. There are two important roles a husband must play. First, instruct a husband to be patient toward his wife’s adjustment to this loss. A woman not only has the loss to deal with, but a woman cannot escape all the physical signs of this loss.

Many women have to have a medical procedure called a DNC that helps remove the remains of the baby that may not pass on their own. Women also have the hormonal changes that begin with pregnancy, which take time to change back when the body rejects the fetus. Second, urge a husband to allow his wife to see him grieve. I failed at this as I was trying to be strong for my wife, but what my wife really needed was to know I too was sad over the loss.

How Cyber Con Artists Exploit The Weak

Steven Sundermeier

August 8, 2019

With Summer and all the highly-anticipated blockbuster movies quickly receding behind us, it’s time to trade in the expensive nights at the theater and move toward the hidden-gem search of locating your favorite movie on a streaming service and kicking back in the recliner. I took my own advice recently and re-watched Ocean’s Eleven. After all, who doesn’t like a classic American heist movie? And while movies like Ocean’s Eleven or The Thomas Crown Affair may keep me wildly entertained and at the edge of my seat, they also serve as a realistic reminder of the modern-day cyber con artists we deal with at Thirtyseven4 and that their disgusting tactics (and order of operations) don’t change.

Exploit the weak and vulnerable
Mr. Jones, age 71, was enjoying a peaceful dinner at home with his wife when his home phone rang. Upon answering it, a gentleman with a foreign accent (“Frank”) began asking him questions about his computer. Mr. Jones started his story by matter-of-factly declaring that he was “not dumb to obvious scams”. But Mr. Jones had an ear to hear as the caller spoke because (ironically) just earlier that day, he had experienced trouble with their computer.

Start small.
After about 20 minutes of pleasant conversions, Frank recommended and Mr. Jones agreed that for $7/month, his organization would remote into their system and run performance checks and routine maintenance.

Remain patient and build up trust.
Once a month (for 5 months!), Frank would give Mr. Jones a call and provide detailed computer health updates. Mr. Jones noted that Frank was polite and would routinely call him by name. More importantly, during this time, he witnessed improved performance and stability on his PC, as he resumed his normal computer habits- he noted- banking, bidding on eBay, etc. He admitted being satisfied with the service and attention he was receiving from Frank.

Let the victim win at first.
A few weeks before I started this column, Mr. Jones received his anticipated, monthly call from Frank. However, on this day, Frank would break the news to him that his technology consulting company was going out of business and was entitled to an $150 refund. Though confused, Mr. Jones proceeded. With a relationship solidly established, Mr. Jones allowed Frank on to his system one last time so that together Frank could deposit the newfound $150 into his account.

Build sympathy and create a false sense of power.
While the transfer of money was happening, Mr. Jones noticed that instead of $150.00 getting directly transferred into his account, Frank “accidentally” deposited $15000. Upon seeing the wrong amount, he quickly called the typo to Frank’s attention. Frank tone changed and he became frantic.

Change the tempo to create urgency to complete the heist.
Mr. Jones recalled Frank acting scared and repeatedly expressing how his organization was going to sue him for the full $15,000, and how it would cost him his house, his job and possibly his family. Frank pleaded with (Mr. Jones) to authorize the $15,000 transfer back to the account immediately to reverse what was done. At this point, Mr. Jones said “no”, and that he would head to the bank to get the situation resolved for Frank.

By ending the call and saying no to Frank’s urgent request, Mr. Jones was fortunate. He drove to his bank the following morning and explained the situation. As the banker investigated his accounts, the banker explained how Frank didn’t receive any outside money into his account at all, the $15,000 he saw transferred over to his checking account was moved from his own home equity line of credit. Frank had invested months into this con job in hopes to trick Mr. Jones into laundering his own money to achieve his payday.

Whether it’s a phone scam, web scam or Phishing scam, the unlawful tactics used by cyber con artists are not only increasing exponentially in number but are becoming more involved with higher consequences.

The above story about Mr. Jones is true. And while it can be easy to pass judgement or lack of judgment on him, his experience is shared by tens of thousands of computer users a year. Cyber con artists are relentless and the cybercrime “business” is a multi-billion-dollar industry.

It’s better to watch actors and actresses in a heist movie instead of being one of the actors in your own real-life movie. But when it comes to cyber con artists leave your computer’s security to a trusted professional/product, trust your gut.

Danielle Strickland: This Is What Influential Leaders Know About Transformational Change

Jessica Lea

August 8, 2019

“If we want to be leaders of influence that really bring change to the world, we don’t need to just move things around. We need to find the right things to change,” said author and pastor Danielle Strickland, speaking on the first day about transformational change at the Global Leadership Summit 2019 (GLS).

Leaders and Transformational Change

In her talk, Strickland emphasized two primary points for leaders who want to bring about transformational change. First, leaders must focus on making the correct changes.

To illustrate what she meant, Strickland told the story of a man she met in Rwanda who had experienced transformational change. He compared his life to a tree and said he realized, “I had to confront fruit that was growing out of my life that I didn’t like.” That fruit was the brokenness in his family driven by his authoritarianism. He came to realize that the root of his abusive behavior came from something his father had told him as a teenager, namely that being a man meant wielding control over his family to ensure obedience.

…And the Transformation Tree, courtesy of our friends @WorldRelief #gls19 pic.twitter.com/VnAkiqKSRU

— Danielle Strickland (@djstrickland) August 8, 2019

But when the man considered other men in his life that he respected, he realized those men valued relationships, connection and respect. So the man realigned his beliefs and values and, as a result, started being kinder to his wife and children. His family was completely transformed. The change in his family dynamic impacted the families around them, and domestic violence went down in the whole community.

But what was crucial in that situation was the Rwandan man identified the correct problem. Strickland contrasted his situation with that of another man she met whose life was dominated by stress. That man tried to deal with his stress by simply increasing his medication. That was managing change, said Strickland, not accomplishing transformation. True transformation would have required the man to do the hard work of recognizing that his value was not based on his productivity. “Leadership changes don’t always work if they’re not the right ones,” she observed.

Secondly, said Strickland, “It’s not enough to know what to change. You have to embrace the process to change it.” And that process is always messy. Strickland compared being in the middle of transformational change to trying to stand on an inflatable exercise ball. It feels chaotic and unstable, and it is impossible to do without assistance from someone else.

Strickland pointed to Peter’s vision in Acts 10 as an illustration of the discomfort of the process of transformational change. Peter was Jewish and therefore refrained from eating certain animals because they are unclean. But God told him, through a vision, that he may eat any animal.

It was a dramatic change God was implementing, and Peter resisted it at first because it was new and uncomfortable. However, he eventually accepted what God showed him, which went far beyond changing what foods His people may eat. Rather, God was revealing to Peter that He does not show favoritism to any group of people, but accepts anyone who trusts in Him.

In the same way, for us as leaders, Strickland said, “One encounter can change everything if you change the right thing.”

For more content on the 2019 Global Leadership Summit, please see:

Top 50 Quotes From Global Leadership Summit 2019
If You Haven’t Heard Bear Grylls Give a Pep Talk, You Need To
Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss on the Skills Every Leader Needs
Separating Myth From Truth in the Generations
Craig Groeschel: How to Let Your Constraints Drive Innovation
If You Lead Creatives, This Is What You Need to Know

Separating Myth From Truth in the Generations

Megan Briggs

August 8, 2019

A researcher who specializes in the differences between generations took the stage at the Global Leadership Summit 2019 and said that the Millennial generation is splitting into two groups. One group elicits the typical stereotypes many think of with Millennials: entitled, lazy, tech-dependent, etc. However, the other group of Millennials is just as disappointed with the first group as the rest of the generations are. This is the group Jason Dorsey of The Center for Generational Kinetics calls Mega-llennials and they are good people, he assures us.

If you work in a church, chances are you have some Millennials on the staff of that church. Chances are you may have even raised a Millennial yourself. Whether you are a baby boomer, a Gen Xer, a Millennial, or a Gen Zer, Dorsey would like all of us to cling to this truth: “Every single generation brings something important and every generation can lead.”

Considering the multi-generational nature of the Church, this is good news. But it would behoove all of us to understand one another a little better. This is the goal of Dorsey’s organization, The Center for Generational Kinetics: to separate the myth from truth when it comes to generations. Dorsey says his organization does this by conducting primary-source research and sharing their findings with businesses and other organizations in which various generations need to work together.

What Shapes a Generation?

First of all, Dorsey explained there are three things that shape a generation: Parenting, technology, and geography (specifically urban vs. rural settings). In other words, Dorsey implies in a joking manner, if anyone is upset at the way Millennials turned out, they should point the finger at that generation’s parents.

Gen Z is the most consistent generation around the world (meaning a Gen Zer in India has more in common with a Gen Zer in the U.S. than a Millennial from India has with a Millennial from U.S.) because of the ubiquity of technology these days.

Events also shape generations. For instance, the youngest Millennials were born in 1995 or 1996 because a defining characteristic of the generation is that they remember the tragedy of 9/11.

How Well Do You Know Millennials?

Dorsey spent the majority of his time speaking about Millennials because they currently represent the largest generation in the workforce. Some other characteristics he mentioned are as follows:

They are experiencing delayed adulthood, doing things like getting married, having children, and buying houses later than previous generations did.

The generation is splitting into two categories, what Dorsey refers to as me-llennials and mega-llennials. Dorsey explains that by 30, Millennials take one of two paths. As previously mentioned, mega-llennials are the ones who show up for work and generally do what they are told to do. Typically, mega-llennials went to college, they got jobs, and they are contributing to society in a positive way. Me-llennials on the other hand, are the “late bloomers” of the bunch and typically gravitate toward those negative stereotypes we might think of.

Millennials are not necessarily tech-savvy, rather they are tech-dependent. The example Dorsey gave was about Millennials being handed a physical map but feeling more comfortable with a phone’s navigation app that can dynamically walk them through to their destination.

How Do Millennials Compare to Other Generations?

Dorsey spent a brief amount of time on the three other generations you might see in a typical work environment. His observations on these groups are as follows:

Gen X

This generation is currently pulled in two directions as they are taking care of their kids and their parents. They are naturally skeptical and often constitute “the glue in the organization.”

Baby Boomers

Dorsey says this generation measures work ethic in hours per week. “If they can’t see you, you’re not working,” Dorsey explains. Meaning, if you are not sitting at your desk at the office, they might think you’re not working. They also believe there are no shortcuts to success, rather they rely on policy, procedures, and protocol.

Fired Deputy Cites Billy Graham Rule as Reason for Firing

Stephanie Martin

August 8, 2019

In a federal lawsuit filed last week, former North Carolina sheriff’s deputy Manuel Torres says he was fired while trying to practice his Christian faith. Torres, 51, says the Lee County Sheriff’s Office terminated his employment because he refused to train a woman—a task, the suit states, that would have involved spending “significant amounts of time alone in his patrol car with the female officer trainee.”

According to the lawsuit, filed July 31 in U.S. District Court, “Torres holds the strong and sincere religious belief that the Holy Bible prohibits him, as a married man, from being alone for extended periods with a female who is not his wife.” Training a female deputy “violates [Torres’] religious beliefs” and leaves “the appearance of sinful conduct on his part,” it adds.

Torres, who has served as a deacon at East Sanford Baptist Church in Sanford, North Carolina, says he adheres to the so-called Billy Graham rule, avoiding situations where he’s alone with another woman who’s not his wife. Other noteworthy adherents include Vice President Mike Pence and two current candidates for Mississippi governor.

Manuel Torres Also Says He Faced Retaliation

In his complaint, Torres says he repeatedly requested religious accommodations—even going up the chain of command. His sergeant retaliated, Torres claims, by not sending the backup he requested at a dangerous crime scene. One superior officer “expressed his anger” at Torres’ persistence, says the former deputy, who was fired in September 2017.

His department also provided “false and negative referrals” to other law enforcement agencies, Torres says, preventing him from securing employment elsewhere. He’s suing for $300,000 in compensatory damages and $15,000 in punitive damages, saying he suffered “loss of income and benefits, loss of quality and enjoyment of life, [and] loss of reputation.”

Is the Principle Common Sense or Discrimination?

Use of the Billy Graham rule, named after the late evangelical leader, has sparked heated debate in the #MeToo era, where appearances are key. Proponents say it offers protection from false accusations and shows respect for one’s spouse. Critics say it’s a sexist ploy to hold women back in the workplace.

Online comments about Torres’ lawsuit exemplify both perspectives. “He was simply avoiding a potentially problematic situation,” someone writes. “If he has to state religion as a reason because you can’t sue based on common sense then so be it.” Others say: “He’d better not ever touch or arrest a female suspect then, either” and “If he is so worried, get a body cam.”

On the Friendly Atheist blog, Hemant Mehta writes, “It’s reprehensible that a law enforcement official would think it’s okay to avoid training a female officer but not a male one. His faith was effectively prohibiting her from working.” Mehta adds that Torres “deserved to be fired for letting his faith get in the way of his job” and that he “doesn’t seem to care about what the female officer went through because he refused to work with her.”

Another commenter urges: “Stop putting men down for being a good person to themselves and the people around them. I wish more men were like this!”

Craig Groeschel: How to Let Your Constraints Drive Innovation

Megan Briggs

August 8, 2019

Kicking off the Global Leadership Summit 2019, Pastor Craig Groeschel used the opening session to say something counterintuitive that most church leaders probably wish they could hear every day. Encouraging the crowd that they could use their constraints to innovate, he helped leaders see their limitations as opportunities.

“So many leaders think better always costs more,” Groeschel said. Whether the cost is time or money or people or resources, so often leaders feel they can’t do something because they are constrained by their limitations.

Craig Groeschel Encourages Leaders to Count the Cost

Groeschel encouraged the group of church and ministry leaders, business leaders and entrepreneurs and even prisoners, that their constraints could become the inspiration for innovation if they would view them differently and also give up on the idea of perfection. “The pursuit of excellence will motivate you, but the pursuit of perfection will eventually limit you.” He gave two principles to follow as he explained the point he was making.

The first principle had to do with a cost-benefit analysis. Groeschel explained that leaders often have to evaluate if a particular project or investment is worth the cost to execute it. He gave an example of sermon preparation to explain. The leader of Life.Church explained that if he spends eight hours preparing for a sermon, he can get it to about 90 percent quality. If he spends an additional four hours on the sermon (12 total), he might get the sermon to 95 percent quality. However, if he spends 40 hours preparing a sermon, the quality would likely fall back down to 90 percent due to his overanalyzing his words. Now he must decide if it’s worth his time to invest an extra four hours in a sermon to get it to 95 percent quality or if 90 percent is sufficient.

Bend the Curve

Church leaders make decisions like this every week, Groeschel explains. A good leader will make those cost-benefit analysis decisions and invest time, people, resources, money, etc. on things that will give the greatest return.

However, an even better leader will figure out ways to “bend the curve” so to speak. Groeschel drew an x/y axis graph on which he designated the x axis as “cost” and the y axis as “quality”. Most cost-benefit decisions (like the sermon prep example) will elicit a protracted bell curve. However, sometimes leaders innovate and they are able to move the curve back in the direction of the y axis (thereby spending less and gaining more).

“You have everything you need to do everything you are supposed to do.” @craiggroeschel #GLS19 pic.twitter.com/GMKgJGmhQr

— Richie Leber (@GatorLeber) August 8, 2019

Groeschel gave an example from Life.Church to articulate this point. When the church was young and didn’t have nearly as many locations or members as it does now, Groeschel and his wife, Amy, were expecting their fourth child. Their son Sam was born between the Saturday evening service and Sunday morning service and Groeschel, who had just preached at the Saturday evening service, realized he couldn’t be at the church to preach on Sunday. Someone had the incredibly innovative idea to show a video of Groeschel preaching the Saturday service on Sunday. While this may sound like an incredibly easy and obvious solution to us now, at the time, Groeschel didn’t know any church that was doing this.

This solution didn’t cost anything and produced a high-quality return. The church had essentially “bent the curve” on their graph.

Of course, Groeschel used the opportunity to point to Scripture with this principle. Saying that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness, he said he honestly believes that not only does God guide by what he provides, he also guides by what he withholds. Think of the beggar who solicited Peter for money in Acts chapter 3, Groeschel says. The beggar, who was “lame from birth”, asked Peter for money, but Peter didn’t have any. Instead, Peter offered what he was able to offer, which was prayer and faith that God could heal the man. So instead of getting a little money that would only benefit him for a short while, the beggar received a healed body that would benefit him for the rest of his life. Not to mention the impact the miracle had on the beggar’s faith in God, which most likely benefited him into eternity as well.

Burn the Ships

The second principle Groeschel shared was that leaders need to have a “burn the ships” mentality when it comes to whatever they’ve committed themselves. The metaphor comes from history, when Cortez and his men landed in Veracruz, Mexico after a long and arduous journey from Spain. The crew was exhausted and wanted to return home. Cortez took an audacious step and burned the crew’s ships, thus taking the option of return off the table.

In a similar manner, church leaders need to identify the things God has called them to and commit to fulfilling them. For example, when Life.Church started doing church online, which at the time was another innovative idea on par with broadcasting Groeschel’s sermons at a later service, no one was thinking about the idea. This also meant they weren’t searching for church online on Google. The staff at Life.Church realized the money they were spending on Google adwords to advertise their online church weren’t producing the results they were looking for. Determined to make a new idea that no one knew they were looking for yet work, the staff asked themselves what do people search for online? One brave intern said “sex online”. Sure enough, when they changed their Google adwords campaign from church online to sex online, they got a lot more clicks.

Had they not been committed to the idea that church online would appeal to a lot of searching people, though, they might have given up on the idea of building that part of their ministry.

In his quintessential style, Groeschel spoke like a motivational speaker and brought a lot of energy to the conference. Almost barking at the crowd, he said “Don’t tell me you can’t do it.” For church leaders who are often working with limited budgets, staff, and time, perhaps this is just the message some of them needed to hear.

For more content on the 2019 Global Leadership Summit, please see:

Top 50 Quotes From Global Leadership Summit 2019
If You Haven’t Heard Bear Grylls Give a Pep Talk, You Need To
Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss on the Skills Every Leader Needs
Separating Myth From Truth in the Generations
If You Lead Creatives, This Is What You Need to Know
Danielle Strickland: This Is What Influential Leaders Know About Transformational Change

In Defense of the Funeral Over the Celebration of Life … Why It Matters

Darryl Dash

August 7, 2019

I’ve wanted to write a defense for the use of the word funeral for a while now. I notice a trend to call services a celebration of life instead of a funeral. I understand why. We like to focus on the positive, and many of us — all of us, actually — are uncomfortable with grief.

To be sure, Scripture doesn’t prescribe whether we should call a service a funeral or a celebration of life or anything else, nor does it prescribe exactly what we should do during the service. And I don’t want to make anyone feel bad who may have held such a service and called it a celebration of life.

But I believe we’ve lost something, and that we would serve ourselves and others well if we recover the time-honored practice of holding funeral services.

A Funeral Helps Us Prepare to Die

It used to be that a good part of the church’s task was to prepare people not only to live but to die. A lot of the old hymns would take a truth about God and chew on it, applying it not only to how we live now but how we would die. Fewer of our songs do this now, and we’re less prepared to think and feel biblically about the inevitability of our death.

Dying well takes preparation, and we cram our preparation like an undisciplined high school student the night before exams.

We need songs that prepare us to die. We need books like Remember Death: The Surprising Path to Living Hope. We may even need twitter accounts like this one that repeat the same message every single day:

Celebrations of life often reflect an underdeveloped theology of death. Rather than drawing comfort around Scriptural truths about death, we draw comfort from how well the person may have lived. We talk about unbiblical teachings like the person becoming an angel or having already been resurrected, both reflecting an impoverished understanding of theology around death, the intermediate state, and resurrection. We find remembrances of the person’s life more comforting than the rich truths God has given us so we could face death well, and end up robbing ourselves and others.

Part of the gap in our theology is that we don’t see death as the enemy it really is. In The Last Enemy — a great, accessible book on death — Mike Wittmer argues that we’ve been influenced by society’s romanticized view of death. Death is not a good thing. It’s the last enemy to be defeated — but it’s still our enemy. The death of a child is not a good thing, nor is the death of a loved one in an accident or even to old age. Wittmer recounts the words of a father speaking at the funeral of his infant son who died in a tragic accident:

“People tell me that someday I will make peace with Jack’s death,” he said. “I will never be at peace with death. Scripture tells me that one day I will be at peace, but only when death is no more. I will not be at peace until I see my son again.”

That is the Christian view of death.

We need to prepare ourselves and others with the Scriptural reality: death is a formidable enemy. It’s been defeated, but we still suffer its effects and grieve. We need to think accurately about the reality of death and the hope of resurrection so we know how to grieve and also where to turn to be comforted.

Celebrations of life often minimize the ugliness of death, as well as the truths that give us the hope we need when we need them most.

A Funeral Helps Us Learn to Lament

We’ve also forgotten how to lament. We speak so freely of the victory that we have in Jesus that we don’t know what to do with our sadness and grief. One day we’ll be free from grief, but as long as we live on this earth this side of Jesus’ coming, we’d better learn how to lament.

In his article “What Can Miserable Christians Sing?” Carl Trueman writes:

In the psalms, God has given the church a language which allows it to express even the deepest agonies of the human soul in the context of worship…

By excluding the cries of loneliness, dispossession, and desolation from its worship, the church has effectively silenced and excluded the voices of those who are themselves lonely, dispossessed, and desolate, both inside and outside the church. By so doing, it has implicitly endorsed the banal aspirations of consumerism, and generated an insipid, trivial, and unrealistically triumphalist Christianity and confirmed its impeccable credentials as a club for the complacent.

We must relearn the language of lament, including, but not limited to, funerals. As Jen Pollock Michel tweeted the other day in response to the death of Rachel Held Evans:

Sometimes lament is the only appropriate response.

We would serve our people well if we rediscovered lament, including at funerals.

A Plea for the Funeral

“It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart,” says the preacher (Ecclesiastes 7:2). I’m concerned that we no longer enter the house of mourning because we’re too busy celebrating life. It’s time to change that.

Let’s talk often about death. It’s the enemy we all must face unless Jesus comes back first. Let’s remind ourselves of that often and spend our lives preparing ourselves so that we’re prepared to die well. Good preaching, catechism, and music can help us with this. Cultivate an eschatological hope in your own heart. The real comfort at death isn’t how well the person lived, or what our memories are, but in the truths that God gives us for our comfort.

Let’s rediscover how to lament. Let’s learn to create space for the full range of emotions that are part of the human experience.

I plead with you: let’s not forget the rich truths God has given us so that we face death honestly and with hope. A good funeral can help.

This article originally appeared here.

Self Esteem Activities for Kids Who Are Part of Generation Screen

Jonathan McKee

August 7, 2019

Kids who are part of “Generation Screen” need parents to utilize self esteem activities for kids more than ever.

Christina got her smartphone when she was 11—one year later than the average young person gets a smartphone in America. She immediately downloaded Snapchat, Instagram and Tik Tok, the three apps that most her friends frequented, lying about her age to sign up with all three.

Mom and Dad never noticed.

Her parents also neglected to notice Christina charged her phone by her bedside every night, set on vibrate. At first the phone just kept her up an extra 30-45 minutes before she faded off to sleep; but soon she found herself waking up several times throughout the night to check social media, not uncommon by any measurement. In fact 79% of teenagers bring their phones in their bedroom with them each night and fall into the same rut.

When her iPhone first pushed the “screen time” upgrade last fall sending her a weekly report of her average daily screen time. . .she was a little surprised:

5 hours 33 minutes.

Not as surprised as her parents when the school counselor called. “I’m concerned about Christina. She’s showing signs of anxiety. I know a counselor I’d like to recommend.”

The pressure to be liked
A decade ago when kids were texting three thousand-plus messages per month parents were concerned about their phone bills. Five years ago when kids began “Snapping” pics to each other parents were worried about their kids’ innocence. But now that social media follows the overwhelming majority of teenagers literally everywhere they go—school, church, the bathroom, to bed at night—parents are worried about their kids’ mental health. . .and they have good reason to be concerned.

Anxiety, depression and teen suicide are at an unprecedented high, and almost every expert chiming in on the subject links this to screen time and social media. In fact experts like Dr. Jean Twenge dispute those who dismiss the connection between screen time and mental health. “Don’t believe them,” she says. Simply said, the more time you spend online, the more unhappy and depressed you are.

Is it surprising? We’ve handed our kids devices that remind them exactly how “liked” they are at any moment. This has never been good for their mental health. Maybe that’s why Instagram began a test literally last week hiding the number of “likes” a user’s post receives in efforts to create a “less pressurized environment.”

Adolescence creates enough pressure already. Do we need a digital reminder?

So what self esteem activities for kids can moms and dads use to help their kids feel better about self?

A few weeks ago I wrote an article to youth leaders providing them with some advice to build the self esteem of the students they work with. Let’s look specifically at what parents can do.

Let’s start with what we know. What are some of the facts you wish your kids understood about their own mental health and feelings about self?

Wouldn’t it be cool if our kids knew. . .

Our identity is in Christ, and that takes the focus off of us and onto Him. Hence, the more we focus on Him, the less we worry about us.
Too much tech time is linked to depression. Heavy users of digital media (over two hours a day) are twice as likely to be depressed as light users.
Sleep deprivation increases anxiety and depression. Teens are four times as likely to be depressed when they’re sleep deprived.
When we are given the opportunity to empathize and/or serve others we become less focused on self.

So what can we do to help our kids learn these truths and help them feel better about themselves?

When Corporate Worship Is Just Singing

David Santistevan

August 7, 2019

I love music. Without a doubt, the combination of lyric and melody is one of my favorite art forms in all the world. But I’ve had a lingering question that has been in my mind as it relates to corporate worship. Can it be that corporate worship is just singing?

Are we singing too many worship songs? And does the singing of songs eventually have an adverse effect on our hearts?

Songs are everywhere in the life of a Christian.

We sing on Sunday.

We sing at midweek services.

We sing along with K-Love on our commute and everywhere in between.

I know we need to worship … but have we neglected the true purpose of our singing? Have we become numb to the effect singing is supposed to have on our hearts?

Is It True That Corporate Worship Is Just Singing?

We may be singing songs in corporate worship … but do we know how to pray in the secret place?

We may know the latest worship hits … but are we speaking to one another in Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs?

We can sing … but do we know God’s Word more than the latest Kari Jobe album?

As I look at my own life, I fear sometimes that I do too much singing and not enough of other disciplines that are healthy for my heart in God.

Of course, singing isn’t the problem. We are commanded to sing. The Scriptures are full of exhortations to sing:

Judges 5:3—“Hear, O kings; give ear, O princes; to the Lord I will sing; I will make melody to the Lord, the God of Israel.”
I Chronicles 16:9—“Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works!”
Psalm 21:13—“Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength! We will sing and praise your power.”

There is no shortage of singing in the Scriptures.

So what is the problem?

When Corporate Worship Is Just Singing Instead of Surrender

Singing cannot replace other spiritual disciplines.

Songs are no substitute for true surrender.

And these disciplines need to be taught.

It’s no surprise that we live in a post-Christian society. The people in our churches don’t know what to do. We can’t assume they know about such spiritual disciplines of contemplative prayer, Bible reading, Scripture memorization and worship.

If we don’t teach them, the extent of their development will be the corporate worship songs we sing—which just isn’t enough for a true disciple of Jesus.

Let me illustrate by pointing a finger at myself. I’m wondering:

Am I in regular contact with the Word of God, so that its truth informs my worldview and manner of life?
Do I have regular times where I cry out to God in prayer, so that I live in the reality that I need God?
Am I meeting regularly with people to spur them on to love and good works?
When was the last time I shared the Gospel with an unbeliever?

Or am I simply … singing?

3 false beliefs that prevent people from joining small groups:

1) The belief that there is not enough value.

2) The belief that there is not enough respect or understanding.

3) The belief that there is not enough time.

3 Great Values of Small Group Life

1) Sustained life change happens best in small group life.

2) Life makes more sense in the context of small group life.

3) Small group life provides opportunity for spiritual leadership.

7 Important Tactics That Makes Kids Feel Valuable

1. Treat Them As Contributors.

2. Expect Them To Behave As Capable Kids

3. Correct Behavior Not Children

4. Use Their Ideas

5. Affirm Positive Behavior

6. Control Classroom Dynamics

7. Make Room For Interaction Not Just Information

Ministry is from God.

Ministry is not God.

Bear Grylls on Surviving the Storms of Life

1. Failure

2. Fear

3. Fire

4. Faith

Finally, Be Thankful

What Makes a Good Creative?

What Creatives Need From Their Leaders

Craig Groeschel

Bozoma Saint John

Ben Sherwood

Liz Bohannon

Back to the Bible in Schools: “This isn’t a religion class”

Key Negotiation Skills

1. There is more time to pray over the text and topic.

2. There is more time to meditate on the text or topic and apply it personally.

3. Illustrations appear through the lens of the teaching series.

4. Opportunities for connection to other aspects of the church can be surfaced.

Here are a few tips for those interested in knowing helpful ways to care for a couple after a miscarriage.

1. After a miscarriage, embrace the seriousness of this loss.

2. After a miscarriage, encourage both husband and wife to grieve.

3. After a miscarriage, instruct the husband on how to care for his wife.

Leaders and Transformational Change

What Shapes a Generation?

How Well Do You Know Millennials?

How Do Millennials Compare to Other Generations?

Gen X

Baby Boomers

Manuel Torres Also Says He Faced Retaliation

Is the Principle Common Sense or Discrimination?

Craig Groeschel Encourages Leaders to Count the Cost

Bend the Curve

Burn the Ships

A Funeral Helps Us Prepare to Die

A Funeral Helps Us Learn to Lament

A Plea for the Funeral

So what self esteem activities for kids can moms and dads use to help their kids feel better about self?

Is It True That Corporate Worship Is Just Singing?

When Corporate Worship Is Just Singing Instead of Surrender

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