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Everyone Is a Prayer Novice

By
Scott Boren
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Everyone is a prayer novice.

With that in mind, take a deep breath and relax. Let any pressure you feel about prayer or being spiritual roll off of you.

It does not matter if you are a brand new Jesus follower or if you have seen God work great miracles over decades. The difference between the two is microscopic when compared to the vastness of God. It’s like a grasshopper comparing itself with an ant. However, when you set both next to an elephant, the differences in size fall away.

Sometimes, we compare our prayers to those who seem so comfortable praying, using the right words, while referring to Scriptures and expressing themselves with passion and confidence. I remember praying with a few people years ago and voiced a short, somewhat tentative request. After we said our “amens” a guy in the group corrected my theology regarding my prayers. He told me that my prayers did not quite reflect what God was all about. I guess he was the grasshopper and I the ant.

Even if I am ant-sized prayer-er, what difference does it make? Why compare myself to others when we are trying to connect with the maker of the universe? Why take pride in my prayers when we are talking to the One who cannot be fully comprehended? When it comes to prayer, there are no experts. We are all novices trying to express the true voice of prayer in the midst of so many distracting false voices.

Henri Nouwen stated in one of his last books,

Prayer, then, is listening to that voice—to the One who calls you the Beloved. It is to constantly go back to the truth of who we are and claim it for ourselves. I’m not what I do. I’m not what people say about me. I’m not what I have. Although there is nothing wrong with success, there is nothing wrong with popularity, there is nothing wrong with being powerful, finally my spiritual identity is not rooted in the world, the things the world gives me. My life is rooted in my spiritual identity. Whatever we do, we have to go back regularly to that place of core identity.

The true voice of prayer brings us back to the place of hearing God’s true voice about our core identity. This is the message that we will not hear from the daily grind of the world, where we learn about how we must perform for our self-worth. We try to find life by seeking the false voices of power, prestige and possessions, the three great obsessions of our culture.

The false voice of power tells us that we can get life as we gain control over our situations and others. We look for ways to advance in authority and power to hold sway. Those with the most authority have greater value. Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” not “Blessed are the strong and powerful.” The Apostle Paul wrote, “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.”

The true voice of prayer leads us on a path of giving up the pursuit of power, one that gives us permission to be weak instead of trying to cover up our limitations. On that path we hear the true voice saying, “My beloved, you are accepted just as you are.”

The false voice of prestige whispers that we need to be someone worthy of other’s attention. The people that matter have the public eye, or at least that seems to be the case. But prestige is only a limp replacement for what we long for in the core of our being. I love how The Message translates this passage by Paul:

Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don’t see many of “the brightest and the best” among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn’t it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these “nobodies” to expose the hollow pretensions of the “somebodies”? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. That’s why we have the saying, “If you’re going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God” (1 Corinthians 1:26-31).

The true voice of prayer leads us on a path of love that frees us to seek and see God. There we hear the true voice saying, “My beloved, you are loved with a love that cannot be greater.”

The false voice of possessions also challenges this path of connecting with God. Our culture tells us in more ways than one that those who die with the most toys do actually win somehow. We buy, we collect, and when we cannot buy and collect we wish we could. More is never enough because we are told that those who have the most matter the most.

Go back and read Paul’s words again about weakness, being nobodies and being chosen by God to receive his love. The true voice of prayer frees us to let go and find treasures in another place than in possessions. We hear the true voice saying, “My beloved, you don’t need more. You don’t need to attain more. You don’t need to press more. I will take care of you.”

We are all novices, learning to express our true voice to God and hear God’s true voice to us. It’s a journey that we can never complete because God’s infinite love for us is, after all, infinite.

This article originally appeared here.

10 Inexpensive Ways to Develop People on Your Team

By
Ron Edmondson
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

When budgets are stretched, development often is pushed to the back burner or cut altogether from the budget. This is dangerous for a team, which wishes to remain healthy and continue growing. If a team is not learning and improving it will soon struggle to maintain any level of success.

It’s important, therefore, to find ways to develop even with stressed budgets.

Here are 10 inexpensive, or less expensive, ways to offer development to a team:

Bring in a leader – It may be cheaper to bring the expert to you than it is to attend a conference. Find someone from whom your team can learn and pay his or her expenses to visit the team.

Send a representative – You may have to draw names to decide who, but pay for one person to attend a conference with a catch. They have to bring information back to share with the team.

Read a book together – The number of leadership books easily outnumber the months a team will be together. Find some good ones, read and digest them as a team. (I’d recommend my book 7 Myths of Leadership, but that would seem self-serving.)

Use local resources – Most likely, there are businesses or universities in your community that have development offices or procedures to develop people, with people already skilled who can inexpensively invest in your team.

Online or teleconference – Technology allows for some great online conferences. Gather the team around a computer and learn without leaving the office. Additionally, if you have a telephone, you have the makings of a great way to connect with other leaders. Arrange for a joint call with one and let the team ask questions and then process the interview together.

Pool resources – Join forces with another church to accomplish any of these ideas. Learn from each other. Swap responsibilities to lead a development activity. Share the costs of bringing in a speaker and do a combined mini-conference of your own.

Visit other churches – Allow the team to visit other churches in the area, either individually or as a group. Sometimes the quickest ways to promote change is to introduce leaders to other environments. It is a great way to develop new ideas and improve upon what you are doing as you see what others are doing firsthand. Be sure everyone goes expecting to bring something back to the team they have learned.

Learn from each other – Chances are good that everyone on your team has something to offer that can make the team better. Take turns sharing with each other something you already know or are learning.

Scavenger hunt – Assign each team member to find the best development idea and share it with the rest of the team. Whether online, in a book or through networking, seek out new ideas and improvements you can learn from one another and share it with the team. The process of sharing the idea discovered will prove to be development.

Trial and error – The best development may be putting systems in place that allow the team to take risks, but then evaluate the success or failure in an effort to learn from them and grow. Teams should be doing this anyway, but teams often fail to intentionally learn from the process of doing normal work.

Development isn’t cheap, but it’s a necessary part of continuing to be a healthy and growing team.

Make this post better. Think development with me.

What low cost ideas do you have to offer development to a team?

This article originally appeared here.

Physical + Digital = Phygital (A New Word From James Emery White)

By
James Emery White
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

There’s a new, and important, word: phygital.

It reflects the growing necessity for the seamless flow between the physical and the digital. As an article on Bizcommunity put it, in relation to the retail world:

Innovative phygital business models, where bricks and mortar and digital seamlessly integrate, are popping up across the globe. But the best phygital experiences still remain aligned with old-school sales strategies: customer attraction, retention, engagement, experiences, loyalty and the brand itself. The factors that keep shifting are shopping [behavior] and new technology. The upshot is: to keep in the retail game, phygital is the way to go and it’s currently an adapt or die situation. 

And here are the six ways it suggests that “adapt or die” applies:

1. The agile store.

The concept of the role of a physical shop has changed. Whereas before a storefront used to be a part of the shopper psyche there are now young customers who have no knowledge of physical stores dominating the landscape. Nils Van Dam of Duval Union Consulting estimates that between 30 — 40 [percent] of supermarkets will shut their doors within the next decade.

2. Retail business model disruption.

Never seen or experienced before phygital stores are being built, the biggest ones being Amazon and Alibaba. These mega-online players are laying new foundations with bricks and mortar shops — Whole Foods and Hema respectively. The rule of thumb seems to be: whatever bases you’re not covering, cover. Another thing to note about disruption is that agility and adoption are different in terms of what product you sell. According to PWC, in a category such as fashion, 43 [percent] of consumers already consider themselves to be omnichannel shoppers, buying both offline and online.

3. Different strokes for different folks.

Quite surprisingly, another reason for bricks and mortar may be Gen Z. Not because they love shopping malls but because they demand that every option is available to them. Seventy-five percent of Gen-Zers surveyed by Newsroom Synchrony say they prefer shopping in stores with engaging experiences, while 45 [percent] say the experience of buying something is as important as the product itself. Another interesting fact about Gen Z is that if they have a product in their shopping cart while shopping online, they expect to this to be seamlessly integrated into their in-store shopping experience.

4. Covering all bases.

Agile retailers are upping the ante with online and in-store technology. The more common in-store phygital tech includes self-scanning, digital signage tablets, and smart tags. Other innovations being tested are things like AR-powered virtual demos, smart mirror beacons, personal in-store digital avatars, face-detection software that can guess a shoppers’ gender and age, as well as interactive fitting rooms with a touch screen kiosk.

5. Uber-experiences.

A [brick] and mortar store should look to incorporate whatever the “new fashion” is — be it cooking workshops or yoga. For example, Green Swan the owners of Intertoys, plans to rent out toys for children’s parties. And for the ultimate in-store trend, see the 185-year-old “most beautiful department store” in Zürich — Jelmoli. This old-school [brick] and mortar retailer has [10] large and small restaurants where they can grill your steak for 90 seconds at 800 degrees.

6. The human role.

Keeping it real and human with [brick] and mortar is particularly relevant… [for this] fascinating demographic of shoppers who, on the one hand, consider a trip to the mall a memorable family experience and on the other, … shop “off the radar”, buying from spaza shops in townships and rural areas and belonging to stovels. In both instances, the human connection is vital to the shopping experience. Malls may need to up their game on the experiential level and spaza shops should be taken more seriously by mainstream retailers.

What If the Foundation of Discernment Is Hope and Not Suspicion?

By
Mike Leake
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

I think we’ve been getting discernment all wrong.

In your mind is discernment synonymous with suspicion or more like a treasure hunter who tears up an island because he knows that it’s there? I’m becoming increasingly convinced that the foundation of discernment isn’t suspicion but hope.

Consider the early church. In Acts 11 we read of how the good news of Jesus made impact in the Gentile hub of Antioch. It was an unprecedented thing. A few no-name followers of Jesus took the gospel to people with no foundation of belief (no Jewish background) and it created such a stir that they had to develop a new class of people; namely, Christians. It was here that they were first called Christians because this was the first time that Jew and Gentile were together in the same church. It blew up their worldview. It used to be Jew/Gentile. Now it’s something totally different.

The church in Jerusalem was a bit unsettled by this. Their whole way of viewing the world was through that Jew/Gentile lens. If a Gentile wanted to become a follower of God, that was cool and they’d welcome it so long as they became as the Jews. But this is something altogether different. This isn’t making Gentiles into Jews. This is making Jews and Gentiles into something totally different. And so they needed to check this thing out that God was doing. Is it legit? They knew they needed to be discerning and wise about this thing.

Here is my question for you. What kind of person do you send in order to figure this thing out? What kind of “discernment ministry” do you task with trying to see if it really is God at work here? Do you pick the inflexible and no-nonsense guy who sees everything in black and white? Isn’t that what it means to have the gift of discernment? Isn’t discernment the ability to find the land-mines and untruths and slippery slopes in a fellas argument?

So why’d they send Barnabas?

Barnabas is an encourager. That’s a guy who can find a rose in a field of land-mines. Not a guy who can find a land-mine in a field of roses.

I’ll tell you why they sent Barnabas. They sent Barnabas because the foundation of Christian discernment is hope and not suspicion. Love rejoices at the truth. You know what that means? It means that when you go on a fact finding mission you’re looking for truth. And when you find it, even if just in a spark, you rejoice.

I’m talking about foundations here. Starting points. I’m convinced that we’ve gotten this wrong and because of it the gift of discernment has now become synonymous with the “gift” of being a jerk. True discernment will spot error. And it’ll call error out. But that’s not the intention of the search.

Think of it this way. Hope-fueled discernment is like a guy with a metal detector out in a field because he has heard reports of a buried treasure. He’s profoundly hopeful. Not skeptical. He wants to find the treasure. And so he keeps digging. All those places where he checked and didn’t find the treasure he is going to call them out. He’ll put flags there so people know treasure isn’t to be found here. Each “miss” is marked with sorrow but tinged with hope. So he keeps on swinging that detector in the hopes of finding treasure.

That’s quite different than the guy who has heard a report of a treasure in a field but he wants to prove all the idiots wrong. He’s skeptical that it’s there. For him, every swing and miss is further evidence that there is no treasure here. He gives up the search must faster than the guy who is hope-fueled. He’ll miss the treasure because he won’t bother digging at the faintest of pings. He knows it isn’t there anyways.

Discernment is vital. Which is why we cannot allow it to be shipwrecked by the dour and inflexible among us. Discernment isn’t the gift which keeps faith-filled and hope-fueled people in check. Discernment belong to such. Let’s not rend what God has united.

May hope-fueled discernment rise up among us.

This article originally appeared here.

Israel Folau Sacked for Expressing Beliefs on Homosexuality

By
Megan Briggs
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rugby player
Screengrab Instagram @izzyfolau

Rugby Australia’s top paid and arguably most valuable player, Israel Folau, has been fired. The outspoken Christian rugby player had a four-year, $4 million contract that was put in jeopardy due to a handful of comments he’s made over the last couple years about homosexuality. After days of deliberation by an independent panel, Folau’s contract has officially been terminated.

“I am deeply saddened by today’s decision to terminate my employment and I am considering my options,” Folau said after learning of Rugby Australia’s decision.

What Happened?

On May 7, 2019, the independent panel determined Folau had committed a high-level breach of his contract by posting controversial comments about homosexuality to his social media accounts. While this wasn’t the first time Folau posted about his Christian beliefs as they pertain to homosexuality, in April, the rugby posted an image to his Instagram account that warned “drunks, homosexuals, adulterers, liars, fornicators, thieves, atheists and idolators” that “hell awaits you.” The image also included quotations from passages of Scripture such as Galatians 5 which is where such belief is derived from.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Those that are living in Sin will end up in Hell unless you repent. Jesus Christ loves you and is giving you time to turn away from your sin and come to him. _______________ Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these , adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revelings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19‭-‬21 KJV _______________ Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. Acts 2:38 KJV _______________ And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent: Acts 17:30 KJV _______________

A post shared by Israel Folau (@izzyfolau) on

Folau released a statement about his termination, which is reprinted here:

It has been a privilege and an honour to represent Australia and my home state of New South Wales, playing the game I love.

I am deeply saddened by today’s decision to terminate my employment and I am considering my options.

As Australians, we are born with certain rights, including the right to freedom of religion and the right to freedom of expression. The Christian faith has always been a part of my life and I believe it is my duty as a Christian to share God’s word. Upholding my religious beliefs should not prevent my ability to work or play for my club and country.

I would like to thank my wife, Maria, for her love and encouragement to stay true to our beliefs. We have been humbled by the support we have received from family, friends, players, fans and the wider community.

Thank you also to those who have spoken out in my defence, some of whom do not share my beliefs but have defended my right to express them.

Is This the End of Folau’s Career?

It might be the end of Folau’s career with Rugby Australia, but he could potentially play for another organization, which would likely have to be in another country. However, Folau has 72 hours to appeal the decision with a different three-member panel. He has not said whether he will appeal the decision, although there are reports he is considering taking his case to the Supreme Court.

Folau indicated he believes he is being wrongly persecuted for simply quoting from the Bible.

In Landmark Vote, Same-Sex Marriage Now Legal In Taiwan

By
Jessica Lea
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

In a landmark decision, the parliament of Taiwan has voted to legalize gay marriage. Not only is it the first legislative body in Asia to do so but the BBC also reports that lawmakers have approved the most “progressive” of three potential bills.

“It’s a very important moment, but we are going to keep on fighting. We are Taiwanese and we want this important value for our country, for our future,” said Jennifer Lu, who is the chief coordinator of the rights group Marriage Equality Coalition Taiwan.

What Led to This

In 2017, Taiwan’s constitutional court ruled to legalize gay marriage and gave the government a two-year deadline for doing so. May 24th was the day by which lawmakers had to approve changes; otherwise, says The Washington Post, same-sex marriage would have been legalized automatically.

In a series of referendums in November 2018, Taiwanese voters were asked whether marriage should continue to be defined as between one man and one woman or whether it should include gay couples. Voters overwhelmingly voted against same-sex marriage. Out of about 10.5 million votes, over 7.6 million were in favor of marriage continuing to be defined as between one man and one woman.

Yet even before those votes came in, the government said that the referendums would not sway the fact that, per the court’s ruling, it would legalize same-sex marriage. Some feared, however, that the population’s disapproval of gay marriage would result in the legislature passing a more restrictive bill.

But the approved bill, which passed by a vote of 66 to 27, was the most generous in terms of the rights it allows. It is the only one of the three that used the term “marriage” (versus “union” or “relationship”) and it provides for some adoption rights for gay couples. It does not, however, protect Taiwanese nationals who wish to marry people from countries that have not legalized gay mariage. Jennifer Lu told the BBC, “I’m very surprised—but also very happy. It’s a very important moment in my life. However, it’s still not full marriage rights; we still need to fight for co-adoption rights, and we are not sure about foreigner and Taiwanese marriage, and also gender equality education.”

One result the 2018 referendum did have was to lead lawmakers not to alter the definition of marriage as defined in its civil law, but to create a special, separate law instead. According to The Washington Post, “Taiwan’s new law grants same-sex couples the right to marry outside its civil code, which governs marriage rights for heterosexual couples.” The purpose of this decision was to comply with the constitutional court’s ruling as well as to acknowledge the voters’ wishes as seen in the referendum.

Many are celebrating the decision, including Taiwan’s president, Tsai Ing-wen. On the day of the decision, she tweeted, “Today, we have a chance to make history & show the world that progressive values can take root in an East Asian society.”

After the ruling was announced, the president posted another tweet, saying, “We took a big step towards true equality, and made Taiwan a better country.”

One of the reasons Taiwan’s decision is significant is because of how conservative cultures in Asia tend to be. For example, same-sex marriage is illegal in China. Same-sex marriage celebrations were illegal in Vietnam until 2015, and gay sex was illegal in India until 2018.

Gay rights supporters, as reported by the BBC, hope that Taiwan will become a trailblazer for other governing bodies in Asia: “Taiwan’s action today should sound a clarion call, kicking off a larger movement across Asia to ensure equality for LGBT people.”

You Can Now Buy a $45 Trump-as-Cyrus Coin

By
Stephanie Martin
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

During the past few years, some evangelical Christians have compared President Donald Trump to King Cyrus, founder of the first Persian empire. Now a $45 coin featuring Trump and Cyrus is available for supporters who want a “point of contact” with God during the lead-up to the 2020 election.

On The Jim Bakker Show, author and speaker Lance Wallnau is promoting a coin with the leaders’ faces and the phrases “The 70 Year Decree” and “Cyrus-Trump Proclamation.” Similar coins have been minted since Trump moved the American embassy in Israel to Jerusalem.

“You have a role in this”

Right Wing Watch, which “monitors and exposes” right-wing political organizations, posted a clip of Wallnau’s pitch. The 24-karat gold-plated coin is a daily “point of contact,” Wallnau says. “Your faith is being released with a million other believers to pray protection and peace and wisdom and counsel over the president of the United States and over his family.”

The coin serves as a reminder that “God put something in your hand that you have a role in,” Wallnau says. Prayer is key, he adds, “because they think we’re crazy, but we’re actually the sane ones.” Referring to the 2020 election, Wallnau says, “This battle for the future of America has already started… God’s begun a miracle; let’s keep that miracle going.”

The Trump-Cyrus Connection

Wallnau gained notoriety for saying God told him Trump would be president number 45, and King Cyrus happens to be mentioned in Isaiah 45. The pagan ruler defeated Babylon in the sixth century BCE, ending the Israelites’ captivity so they could return home and build a temple in Jerusalem. Wallnau calls Trump a “modern-day Cyrus” who is helping America “navigate through the storm.”

While thanking Trump for relocating the American embassy, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu compared him to Cyrus, saying Trump’s actions would be “remembered by our people throughout the ages.”

Trump, like Cyrus, is an unlikely “vessel” for restoring a Christian America, according to some evangelicals. Michael Evans, who established the Jerusalem Prayer Team, says Trump has a similar role in fulfilling biblical prophecy. “God has used this imperfect vessel, this flawed human being like you or I…in an incredible, amazing way to fulfill his plans and purposes,” Evans says of the president.

An Expedient Comparison?

Some people say the biblical comparison allows Christians to justify supporting a president of questionable character. “This is a kind of baptism of Donald Trump,” says John Fea, author of Believe Me. “It’s the theopolitical version of money laundering, taking Scripture to…clean [up] your candidate.”

Anointing Trump with divine legitimacy removes any expectations that he live out faith principles, critics say. In fact, “Trump’s supposedly anti-Christian attributes and anti-democratic attributes are a vital part of his attraction,” says Katherine Stewart, author of The Good News Club. While researching Christian nationalism, she says she’s discovering that Trump is viewed as “a miracle sent straight from heaven” and that “resistance to Trump is tantamount to resistance to God.”

Our Identity Is Not in Their Performance

By
Mike Leake
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges was one of the most life-changing books I’ve read. Paragraphs like this one brought me so much freedom:

Living by grace instead of by works means you are free from the performance treadmill. It means God has already given you an “A” when you deserved an “F.” He has already given you a full day’s pay even though you may have worked for only one hour. It means you don’t have to perform certain spiritual disciplines to earn God’s approval. Jesus Christ has already done that for you. You are loved and accepted by God through the merit of Jesus, and you are blessed by God through the merit of Jesus. Nothing you ever do will cause Him to love you any more or any less. He loves you strictly by His grace given to you through Jesus. (Transforming Grace, 73)

I was about three years into my first youth ministry position when I hit rock bottom (or at least it was bottom for me at the time—I’d find myself going a bit deeper into the well of depression a bit later). My identity was attached to my performance. If someone wasn’t happy with me I was devastated. I couldn’t take criticism in any form. I was insecure and miserable. I couldn’t handle the weight of my own sin. And I was going through serious doubts. Reading through Transforming Grace helped me to hop off this performance treadmill.

During that season the Lord ingrained a principle very deeply into my being. My identity is firmly fixed in Christ and it is not wrapped up in my performance. As Bunyan said so many years before, “My righteousness is in heaven and it’s not dependent upon my good frames or my bad frames.” My standing with the Father is already settled. My record is established. I am in union with Christ and all that He has is delivered to my account.

This truth was a balm for the soul of Mike the disciple. But somehow this truth wasn’t impacting Mike the pastor. I knew that my relationship with God was settled. I knew that he was pleased with me as his child. But somehow I still went through seasons were I felt like a failure as a pastor.

Henry Blackaby defined spiritual leadership as “moving people from where they are to where God wants them to be.” I don’t necessarily disagree with this definition, but it meant that I was failing as a spiritual leader. Or at least that was how I saw it in those dark nights of the soul. In all of this I maintained that my identity was not attached to my performance, but somehow my identity was becoming attached to their performance. And it was killing me.

The failure of those I had discipled became my failure. Business meetings which went south reflected upon me as the leader. When the church stagnated, when evangelism was lax, and when change wasn’t happening it meant that I was failing. I spiraled into a deep depression—or maybe crippling anxiety is the better term.

Then Jesus caught me.

That lesson I had learned so many years before broke through again. Not only is my identity not attached to my performance it’s also not attached to their performance. I didn’t have to try to control my environment anymore. I just had to be faithful in loving Jesus through loving people and proclaiming truth. I am not in charge of how you respond. This has been an incredibly freeing truth for me.

I am hidden in Christ.

This is true not just as a disciple, but also as a pastor.

I’m simply an under-shepherd who is tasked with faithfully delivering the message of the Chief Shepherd. Period. I can’t shake people into responding correctly. Nor take credit when they respond rightly. It’s his church. Not mine. And that frees me to love and rest and stand in awe of His concern for His Bride.

My identity is fixed in Christ. My performance and their performance can never change that.

This article originally appeared here.

Getting on the Crossroad

By
Jack Graham
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

I firmly believe it’s time for men to step up to the unique challenges facing our world today.

We are facing profound moral, ethical, domestic and international issues that mark a culture in need of answers and in need of a Savior. What we need are men who will shape the future and change the world.

Getting on the Crossroad

But frankly, not many men are responding to the call. I think a lot of men today are at a crossroads. We’re stuck at a crossroads as to the future of the family, the future of the nation. How we decide and how we respond here and now will determine not only the direction of our families, but the very future of civilization as we know it.

A lot of men don’t know which way to go, so they try to go both ways and end up miserable and distracted.

But notice what Jesus said in Mark 8:34–35: And he called to him the crowd with his disciples and said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.”

Men today are looking for fulfillment in life, but so often encounter futility because they find themselves on the wrong road, not on the right road.

Jesus said there are two roads in life: One is broad and smooth and the other is narrow, and that narrow road is exclusive and very few are on it.

Men are at the crossroads today because there are people on the broad road who have been seduced by the world—they’re trying to live in two worlds at the same time and they’re miserable in both.

Being on the broad road is just like being in a traffic jam, getting nowhere fast. Jesus said this broad road leads to destruction. It’s deadly.

But then there’s the right road. Jesus said, “It’s the ‘crossroad.’ Pick up your cross and follow after Me daily.”

This road is narrow and tight. There are boundaries on the crossroad. It has a narrow purpose: that we can pick up our cross and follow Christ.

The only way we can truly become men of God is by getting off that crowded road and getting on the crossroad, being a promise keeper and a pacesetter and a prayer warrior and a peacemaker.

Men, you’re at a crossroad and what you do with your relationship with Jesus Christ will determine not only your destiny, but the destiny of your kids and your grandkids and their kids.

I invite you to pick up your cross and follow Jesus today.

This article originally appeared here.

Help for Your Church to Navigate LGBTQ+ Issues with Grace & Truth With Caleb Kaltenbach

By
Rich Birch
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Thanks for joining in for the unSeminary podcast. We have a great conversation for you today with Caleb Kaltenbach, an author, former pastor and founder of The Messy Grace Group.

Help for Your Church to Navigate LGBTQ+ Issues With Grace & Truth with Caleb Kaltenbach

When Caleb was young, his parents divorced and both came out as being homosexual. They became activists and took Caleb with them to Pride parades and other activities when he was growing up. At these events, Caleb witnessed the ugliness of some who professed to be Christians and the cruelty they showed toward his parents and others, all the while declaring that God hated gay people. During that time Caleb decided that he never wanted to be Christian because he couldn’t imagine how bad Jesus was.

During high school, an invitation to a Bible study opened Caleb up to the truth about Jesus and Christianity. Not only did Caleb make a decision to follow Jesus, he also pursued becoming a pastor.

Across the country, the LGBTQ+ issue is on the doorstep of the church. Today we talk with Caleb about how to navigate these situations with both grace and truth.

  • Remember Christ’s mission. The church is made up of Christians who equip and encourage one another to take the message out and share Jesus with unbelievers for the glory of God. The church is for God. The church is not for us. If we’re not guarding the church for unbelievers or for believers, that allows us to be intentional about what we do. In serving Jesus’ mission we are sharing His message with all people and leading them into a growing relationship with Him, no matter who they are.
  • Be an influencer. Are you more interested in being an influencer or a gatekeeper? Some of the time we act like gatekeepers when we need to be influencers—we’re not dealing with an enemy presence that is coming to attack. We are dealing with a person who is sexually broken like we all are sexually broken—a person who is broken in general like we are—a person that Jesus died for, that God created, who was made in God’s image.
  • Don’t shut people out. In deciding whether to have a gate around serving in the church when it comes to sexuality, the main question to ask is what an individual believes about the marriage covenant. Do they believe God designed sexual intimacy to be expressed between a man and a woman? If they do, then anything outside of that box will need boundaries. If they don’t believe in God’s intention for marriage, they won’t be cut off or shut out, but there will be places that they are not allowed to serve.
  • Five things. Caleb recommends being intentional about creating a system for determining whether a potential volunteer should serve using these five guidelines:
    • 1) Guard the integrity of everyone involved (the church, the volunteers currently serving and potential volunteers).
    • 2) Provide clarity about why the church believes what it believes.
    • 3) Depersonalize and focus on disagreement of belief.
    • 4) Affirm other areas of their life.
    • 5) Redirect and help the individual engage elsewhere in the church where they can serve.
  • Be empathetic. In navigating the issues of life and delicate conversations about sexuality, keep in mind that however empathetic you think you are, you need to be even more so. People in the LGBTQ community already face a lot of rejection and so your church needs to really get to know them and what is going on in their lives. You cannot be empathetic from a distance. The more empathetic we are and the more questions we ask, the more they will reveal their stories. We need to understand when it comes to conversations on sexuality, there’s a big difference between identity, orientation and attraction.
  • The Messy Grace Group. Caleb founded and runs The Messy Grace Group, an organization which consults with churches, colleges, seminary schools and more. The group helps organizations design systems and processes that will allow LGBTQ people to belong and attend while at the same time honoring the church’s doctrine with grace and truth.

You can learn more about Caleb’s mission at www.messygracegroup.org.

This article originally appeared here.

It’s Lit When You Use Teen Slang, Right? TBH, I’m Kinda Shook

By
Jonathan McKee
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

It’s Lit When You Use Teen Slang, Right? TBH, I’m Kinda Shook

It’s funny how often I see “old people” like me trying so hard to be current with “young people.”

Today I was on a middle school campus hanging out with young people and I noticed something. They don’t care whether I’m wearing the newest Vans (you know, the kind that look like a checkerboard), or if I use the current teen talk (“Man, that’s sus!”)…they just care that I’m there to listen.

And that’s the secret to talking teen: Just shut up and listen.

Yes, there’s a balance to this. Let me address youth workers for a moment. I’ve heard youth workers say, “You just gotta be YOU!” And while I agree that you shouldn’t try to be something you’re not, at the same time, if YOU are a slob who doesn’t shower or who hasn’t updated their wardrobe since the ’80s, a shower and a trip to Target wouldn’t hurt.

No, you don’t need to go to Tilly’s, buy Van’s and a sweatshirt (with the word Champions strewn all over it) and invite kids to youth group because “It’s lit!” We don’t need to try to “attract” teenagers.

But it would be nice to not repel them either.

The key? Don’t try too hard. Pray that God will give you peace so you don’t feel awkward. Just be ready to listen. Engage kids in conversation.

It’s January—ask them,

“So what did you do for Christmas?”

“What was your favorite gift you received?”

“What was your favorite gift you gave?”

Or if they care about their appearance (which not every middle school kid does, but if they do) ask about what they’re wearing.

“Nice Vans. Where did you get them?”

“If you had $100 to shop at any store where would you shop?”

Whether you’re a parent, teacher or youth worker: Ask questions. Listen.

Then you won’t be so “awk.” (Sorry, that slipped out.)

This article originally appeared here.

Why Church Planting Isn’t Changing Cities and One Thing That Will

By
Lizzie Burke
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

We couldn’t see his face, but we could hear he was tearing up. His voice quivered over the phone line. Mark Harris was telling us his journey from isolation in ministry to embracing his place in the citywide Church.

His story moved us, but he was not the first (nor last) pastor we’ve heard recount a similar conversion.

Mark moved to Tucson to plant a church with the burning desire to change the city. In the first 10 years of ministry, his church of 100 people planted 18 churches of various denominations and in diverse communities. People were coming to Christ for the first time and more churches were being planted. But city statistics were worse off than before they came to Tucson. Murder rates, teen pregnancy stats and high school dropouts were all high. Bankruptcies were up and fewer people were interested in spiritual things. Every measure of city health was worse than when they started 10 years earlier.

Mark recalls: “I came to the disheartened realization that I wouldn’t live long enough using a church planting strategy to change our city.”

These feelings of desperation and disillusionment provoked a paradigm shift in Mark. His desire to see the city change remained. What he needed was a new strategy. The strategy, however, came at a cost.

“During that time, God changed my paradigm of what it meant to be salt and light in the city. I had been guilty of trying to make kingdom impact alone. God convicted me. If I was going to be a part of a biblical city transformation movement, I would need to repent and change my heart toward pastors and Christian leaders in the city who had reached out to me over the years, but to whom I had shown little concern. Truth be told, I believed they were part of the problem.”

We felt a somberness between pauses on the call. Mark’s vulnerability transformed a mundane conference call into a holy moment.

For the next 12 months, he met one-on-one with pastors in his city asking for forgiveness for his individualistic ministry mindset and methods. At the end of the 12 months, Mark received the lesson he had been seeking: If biblical city transformation is to take place, it will require the whole body of Christ, not just one pastor. Impact in the city will be in direct proportion to the willingness of Christians to become the answer to Jesus’ prayer for unity (John 17).

Why does unity in the citywide church matter? Because it matters to Jesus. And, because it works—cities change when churches work together.

Like many popular ministry terms that are tossed around, there is more to “unity” than meets the eye. Unity is not cheap. Jesus purchased it for His followers with His own blood. It is often slow—too slow for many leaders. It can feel like an uphill battle wrought with misunderstandings and one too many no-shows. And yet, we are convinced that unity between churches in the city is the single most significant determining factor of the impact Christians have in their city.

Read Mark’s own words on his love for the citywide Church here. Or learn five must-have ingredients for strong church unity, click here.

Jesus’ Family Tree

By
Joel Beeke
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Genealogies are hardly spellbinding. Perhaps, like me, you are tempted to skip them in your Bible reading. Yet genealogies are a significant part of God’s infallible Scriptures. They, too, are “profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Tim. 3:16 kjv and hereafter).

Matthew’s genealogy is a family tree of Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God incarnated as the Son of Man. Matthew wrote his gospel primarily to the Jews. Strictly speaking, the purpose of this genealogy is to prove to Jewish readers that Jesus of Nazareth as the seed of Abraham and the son of David was the long-awaited Messiah.

The genealogy further teaches us that Christ entered the stream of humanity for all people—Jews and Gentiles alike. The Creator became incarnate. He fully took on flesh, made Himself of no reputation, and humbled Himself, submitting to the death of the cross (Phil. 2:7–8). The mystery is that He took on human flesh and human nature and yet did not sin.

As a covenant document, Matthew’s genealogy reveals the faithfulness of God in keeping His promises from generation to generation to Abraham and his seed, to Judah and his tribe, to David and his house, to the Hebrews bowed down under the yoke of bondage in Egypt, to the children of Israel dwelling in the land of promise, to the Jews languishing in captivity, and even to sinners of the Gentiles by nature. Likewise, it reveals God’s mercy “unto all, and upon all them that believe,” no matter how weak their faith may have been, or how greatly they have sinned against God, or how late in time they came to repentance and faith. A study of all the names in this genealogy confirms the Gospel promise that “whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Acts 2:21).

Depravity is clearly evident in the genealogy of Matthew 1. Christ’s forefathers were deeply fallen descendants of Adam. If the genealogy listed only such heroes of faith as Abraham or King Asa, we might say, “What a noble ancestry!” But the genealogy of Jesus also includes Judah and Tamar, Rahab the harlot, David and Bathsheba, Joram and Manasseh. The Holy Spirit wants us to know that Jesus’ family history includes wicked men, prostitutes and other notorious sinners. The sinless Lord of glory was willing to descend from notably sinful forebears.

The Holy Spirit inspired Matthew to include Judah, Tamar, Rahab, Bathsheba and Manasseh in Jesus’ genealogy. He could have left their names out. After all, this list is not complete; several names, including at least three kings, are missing. The undesirables in Jesus’ ancestry are included to show us that no sinner is beyond the saving reach of Jesus. Matthew records that, by divine command, His name was to be called Jesus—a contraction of “Jehovah saves”—“for he shall save his people from their sins” (Matt. 1:21). We learn from Jesus’ genealogy, virgin birth and saving name that He is able and willing to save sinners.

All of us, without exception, are depraved, corrupt and full of wickedness. When the Spirit opens our eyes to this, we will confess, “I am no better than Rahab or Manasseh.” We are all sons of fallen Adam—and heirs of corruption. Christ’s genealogical register is a record of our guilt, our shame, our lost state, our origin, our humiliation. It raises the question, who can break the terrible cycle of sin? “Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” (Rom. 7:24).

Thanks be to God, Jesus broke the repeating cycle of human sin by identifying with and saving wretched sinners like us. Jesus is not ashamed to have Rahab or Manasseh or any other sinners in His family tree. Likewise, He is not ashamed to receive us into His family. Out of love He rescues us, makes us holy and acceptable in God’s sight, renews and transforms us, and will never let us fall away again and be lost to Him. “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” (1 Tim. 1:15).

Christ became like us in all things but sin. His name is Immanuel, “God with us” (Matt. 1:23). He was and is God the Son from eternity past, at every point in His earthly ministry, and unto eternity future. He was God even as He hung on the accursed cross and was broken as our substitute and atoning sacrifice. Having taken our sins upon Himself, He became a curse for us, and endured our punishment, so He is God for us. Having taken our nature upon Himself and having lived in the world as we must live, tempted at all points as we are, He is God with us. He understands and knows us; He humbled Himself so completely that He became both our Savior and our elder brother. Graciously He offers Himself to us and asks of us no more than that we believe in Him and seek Him with all our heart, soul, strength and mind.

This article originally appeared here.

“Graceful Dismissal:” Teaching Volunteers How To Quit The Right Way

By
Mike O’Brien
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Everyone will eventually leave your church . . . including you. So teaching volunteers how to quit can make a big difference in your church (and the quality of your life). It was a helpful paradigm shift for me to begin to see my church and her volunteers through a more eternal, Kingdom of God mindset. God has entrusted us to help fulfill the mission of the Church with our own talents along with those we recruit, train, and allow graceful dismissal.

Yes: “graceful dismissal.” The coming and going of volunteers can be one of the most difficult things about ministry. I’ve had good friends — people I’ve mentored, held their babies, experienced true life send me a text like this:

“Hey man, thanks for sending the schedule for the next three months. Sorry I didn’t block out any dates. Feeling super swamped and sensing from God I need to spend more time with family – I hope you understand.” – Jim (Not his real name!)

How does this happen? What is going on here? How hard is it to serve at church two hours out of 168 hours in a week? How we, as worship leaders respond in such moments, is crucial. Over the years (and through God’s help) I have recalibrated my expectations for volunteers and realized there are pastoral things we can do even as they leave us. Here are three things to keep in mind:

EXPECT QUITTERS

We must be ready for the possibility that anyone could quit at any time. Hold people loosely and be prepared for changes in life. This does not mean you live in fear or with a scarcity mindset, but we should not think things will stay the same. Have a plan in place for attrition and make sure you are ready to respond when people want to quit. This means we are constantly recruiting and training sound techs and musicians. Constantly.

GIVE PROCESS FOR QUITTERS

We are usually pretty good at telling new recruits what we expect of them on the front end of a commitment, but we don’t often teach people how to give notice and leave the team. We must have gracious off-ramps systems and expectations for volunteers. Teaching people how to “quit well” can be part of your initiation process.

For example, “If at any time you need a break from serving either temporarily or permanently, please give your leader 6-8 weeks notice so we can identify new folks to help and allow for a smooth transition.”

BLESS QUITTERS

There will be some exceptions to this, but in general, we should bless the socks off of those who are stepping down from our teams. It’s important we recognize their contributions and let them know how much they are appreciated.

For one such volunteer, I wrote a thank you note and itemized a summary of all the hours they served and the number of people they impacted through their volunteer hours. Depending on the length of commitment, you could recognize them from the stage or throw a party. This speaks volumes and often people will return to service later, when the time is right for them.

Sometimes people want to quit prematurely because of a system, relational, or workflow issue. This means their reason for quitting may not be something on their end. If someone quits via text or email, I always make a phone call and ask them why and if there are any other contributing factors. Sometimes it’s something small that can be remedied. That keeps them on the team when we solve the issue.

Ministry leaders set the pace for how we recruit, train, sustain our teams — and how we reflect the goodness of God’s kingdom!

This Is Why Some People Have a ‘Beef’ With Chick-fil-A

By
Megan Briggs
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Chick-Fil-A is poised to take over the number three spot on the list of the largest restaurant chains in the United States, sitting just behind McDonalds and Starbucks. Judging from the fast-food chain’s soaring sales, a lot of people are happy about this. However, the notoriously Christian company has met with some resistance on its rise to the top due to its charitable activity. Specifically, critics are calling the company out for what they deem an anti-LGBTQ position by donating to organizations such as the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) and the Salvation Army.

“We have no policy of discrimination against any group, and we do not have a political or social agenda,” a spokesperson for Chick-fil-A told reporters in November after Rider University in New Jersey decided not to offer the chain as a dining option for its students.

In the past, the company was more vocal about LGBTQ issues, due in large part to its CEO, Dan Cathy (son of the founder, Truett Cathy). In 2012, Cathy said America is “inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.” The statement was not without repercussions. Several LGBTQ advocacy groups called for a boycott of the popular fast-food chain. Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee organized a counter-boycott in turn.

A new round of boycotting has ensued, this time in unlikely places like Texas, where students at a Christian college recently voted to ban the chain’s food from their campus. The San Antonio airport recently decided to exclude Chick-fil-A from its concession offerings.

Despite the boycotts, the backlash and the fact that Chick-fil-A is open one less day than other major fast-food chains, their meteoric growth continues, seemingly unfazed. However, this does not mean that Chick-fil-A has doggedly clung to its unpopular and somewhat vocal position. They did change course with their charitable giving, and officially stated that they would focus on making chicken and “leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena.”

Chick-fil-A’s Change in Course for Charitable Giving

In the past, Chick-fil-A donated money to the Family Research Council, which the Southern Poverty Law Center labeled a hate group in 2010 because of anti-LGBTQ speech by some of its leaders. After the backlash of 2012, though, Chick-fil-A announced it would no longer give money to political groups.

More recently, in 2017, Chick-fil-A stopped giving money to the Paul Anderson Youth Home because of their belief that same-sex marriage represents a “rage against Jesus Christ and His values.” Upon learning of the aggressive stance the Paul Anderson Youth Home takes against LGBTQ issues, the company decided to cease its donations.

A report done by ThinkProgress scrutinized Chick-fil-A’s tax returns and determined that while the company claims to have changed its tune, they are still donating to discriminatory organizations. Namely, FCA and the Salvation Army.

Chick-fil-A Won’t Budge on FCA and the Salvation Army

It is unlikely Chick-fil-A will stop donating to these two Christian organizations any time soon. Recently, Rodney Bullard of the Chick-fil-A Foundation spoke to Business Insider and explained the company’s approach to giving.

The Foundation works with more than 300 charities that focus on lower-income and underserved youth. In 2017, the company gave $9.9 million to organizations seeking to help youth. Bullard wishes critics such as ThinkProgress would focus more on what the money is actually being used to do and less on the organizations’ beliefs that are using the money. For instance, Bullard says the money Chick-fil-A gives to FCA is used for summer sports camps that are a collaborative effort between the fast-food chain and the Christian organization. The goal of the camps is to allow inner-city youth in Atlanta to experience new sports such as golf, tennis and archery. Bullard says the staff has built relationships with the kids they are trying to serve.

The criticism over FCA is directed toward the organization’s code of conduct for its staff and student leaders. Those who wish to serve with FCA must agree to their Statement of Faith and, specifically, their Sexual Purity Statement. Groups like ThinkProgress find this wording, in particular, troublesome:

The Bible is clear in teaching on sexual sin including sex outside of marriage and homosexual acts. Neither heterosexual sex outside of marriage nor any homosexual act constitute an alternative lifestyle acceptable to God.

But Bullard notes that the camps for inner-city youth do not require attendees to sign or adhere to such a statement. Speaking to Business Insider, Chick-fil-A’s vice president of external communications, Carrie Kurlander, says, “The intent is not to try to have kids conduct their lives according to the FCA code. The intent is to expose them to all of the gateway[s] to college, exposure in sports as role models, all of that.”

Lecrae to Those in Prison: ‘You Are Not Forgotten’

By
Jessica Lea
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

During the Unashamed tour, rapper Lecrae and members of 116 Clique visited a men’s prison in Texas to encourage the inmates, support them, and listen to their stories. While it’s easy for many of us to forget there are men and women behind bars or even to think that they don’t deserve our sympathy, Lecrae says that is not how God treats us:

“A lot of times when people commit shameful acts, we throw them away. And God never does that.”

‘Be Encouraged’

The video of Lecrae’s visit, which he posted on his YouTube channel, was produced through Prison Fellowship, a non-profit that ministers to incarcerated men and women, as well as those impacted by incarceration. Lecrae and his fellow rappers, including Andy Mineo and Tedashii, stopped by the Carol S. Vance Unit, a minimum security prison in Richmond, Texas. While there, Lecrae and his crew ate, rapped, talked, and played basketball with the inmates. Lecrae said he feels an affinity for the prison population because he grew up visiting his uncles and his father in prison. “It’s almost like I’m connecting with people that society has forgotten about,” he said. “So for me, it’s a passion.”

At one point, Lecrae asked some of the men what they’ve learned while being incarcerated. One answered he’s learned to be less selfish and to think about the people depending on him. Another said his takeaway is that it’s not too late, but that God is a God of restoration.

In a separate Prison Fellowship video containing bonus footage, one of the inmates thanked Lecrae and expressed how “impactful” it was for him and the other men to see “guys just like us” pursuing what was right and living for Christ. Lecrae countered that, if anything, his visit was just a bookmark in the men’s stories to remind them that those stories weren’t over yet. “We just came to be like, hey–be encouraged,” he said.

Breaking the Cycle

During their visit, the 116 crew stopped by a Prison Fellowship Academy (PFA) class. PFA is an “intensive, biblically based program that takes incarcerated men and women through a holistic life transformation process.” There, the men discussed forgiveness, building trust, and the importance of being vulnerable. Lecrae talked about how Satan plays the “long game” and cultivates generational patterns of sin in families.

According to Prison Fellowship, 2.2 million people are incarcerated, 95 percent of prisoners get released, and two out of three will be rearrested. To Lecrae, visiting the men in prison is part of encouraging them to break out of those destructive cycles. He encouraged them, however, that God uses all of the brokenness in our lives for good. “God doesn’t waste pain, and He doesn’t waste the experiences,” he told the class. “Ya’ll’s situation is molding ya’ll into the men that God ultimately wants ya’ll to be.”

But when they get out of prison, finding a supportive community will be crucial, something Lecrae stressed to one of the inmates at one point. Freedom comes with dangerous opportunities. In some ways, living in prison is easier than living outside of it because the environment is so controlled. “I think just hearing guys have a plan for the other side of the gate, that’s big for me,” said Lecrae, “because sometimes it’s easy to, you know, be disciplined when everything is kind of set up for you to be disciplined.”

At the same time, if people are willing to learn from their circumstances, prison is a kind of “wilderness” that gives men and women time to seek God in a focused way. Said Lecrae, “They’re probably closer to God than a lot of us in the free world right now because they’re spending that concentrated time with the Lord, and we have to discipline ourselves to do it. So I’m just glad to come and learn and listen and hear some stories and be encouraged.”

But those who are in prison still need to be reminded that, just as God didn’t reject David, Moses, or any of us, He has not rejected them. Lecrae said, “These are people that need love and need encouragement and that the world kind of forgets about. God still loves them, so, so do I.”

Q&A: The Top Ten Disciplemaking Questions

By
Chris Swain
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Over the past few weeks, we have been answering the top 10 questions we get about disciplemaking. This week we cover questions 3 and 4:

Question 4: Why are groups three to five versus larger or one-on-one?

(This question’s content can be found, along with much more on this issue, in Robby Gallaty’s book Rediscovering Discipleship)

Many people have experienced discipleship in a one-on-one format. Because this form of discipleship has been common in the past, we often emulate that for our current discipleship strategy. There are even ministries that promote and equip leaders for one-on-one discipleship. Our goal is not to diminish this kind of discipleship. We would argue that any discipleship is better than no discipleship at all. But there are several (six we will mention here) reasons we would also argue that groups of three of five people, gender specific, are the most effective means to make disciples.

First, in a one-on-one discipleship strategy, there is a mindset of leader/student that is difficult to reproduce. Meaning, everything the leader does it what I must strive to do. The challenge with this is that not everyone is a strong leader. But every believer has been called to make disciples. What happens in a one-on-one discipleship relationship when the student does not feel they can “ascend” to the level of the teacher? The one being discipled may never feel they can be who the leader is in their efforts. But in a group of three to five the peer encouragement and pressure can help diffuse the nonsense that some people can’t make disciples. For example, in a one-on-one group, the student may not feel like they can memorize a passage. That’s something the leader does. But in a group of three to five, the other members of the group accomplishing the memorization provide a simple and effective encouragement to every other member. “If Joe can do this, so can I.” “If Joan can do this, I can do it too!”

Second, a one-on-one group can feel like a ping pong match.

“How was your day?”

“Great. You?”

“Good. How was the reading?”

“Loved it. How was yours?”

A group of three to five helps to create a conversation and lessens the pressure of the need to manufacture discussion.

Third, a one-on-one group tends to become a counseling session. Rather than sharpening one another, the mentee is often being counseled by the mentor. While this is helpful, it really isn’t discipleship. In a group of three to five, the conversations do help those who need it, but the focus is on more than just one person’s needs.

Fourth, a group of three to five has built-in accountability. Rather than a mentor constantly trying to hold a mentee accountable, the group creates cross accountability by virtue of the others just being in the group. Knowing that other mentees will be showing up and doing the readings etc., the members of the group (including the leader) feel the accountability to get it done. While one-on-one groups can have accountability, it’s much easier for one person to tell a leader, “Sorry, I just didn’t get to it this week.”

Fifth, multiplication is exponentially better than addition. Jesus emulated group discipleship because He fully understood the power of multiplication. Doing a little math can clarify just how profound the difference is between a one-on-one additional model is inferior to a three to five multiplication model. For example, in a group of three to five, multiplication within a few years has the potential to reach thousands, whereas one-on-one would only reach dozens. A good steward of their time can easily see how groups of three to five are more effective than one-on-one.

Sixth, Jesus discipled in groups. He discipled the 12 and he specifically spent time with Peter, James and John. We see Jesus very rarely, if at all, discipling in a one-on-one relationship. And even in those moments, it is out of the group not in place of it.

Question 3: What do you do in a D-group?

(Tim LaFleur answered a similar question several months ago about the first D-group meeting and second D-group meeting. You can read more of that post here.)

Knowing what to do in a discipleship group meeting is a very common question we get. The basic outline below does not cover all the facets of the group, but it does highlight the general model you can use each week for your discipleship groups.

  • Begin with prayer. One person praying to start the group. You will pray in depth later. One Minute.
  • Highs and lows of the week. This time is a simple relational share time to begin. Rather than turning the D-group into a social gathering where you kick back and hang with friends, you must be careful to limit this time to 10-15 minutes. Additionally, you want to avoid the focus on only challenges and negative elements of life. To do this ask each person to share briefly one high of their week and one low of their week. If your group meets for more than an hour this time can be extended. But make sure this is not the bulk of your meeting. The focus is not on hang time but on the Word in a discipleship group. Save the other for your biblical community (Sunday school/small group).
  • Scripture memory. Spend a few minutes reciting your memory verse for the week. Remember this is not a legalistic time to judge those who aren’t good at memorization, but an encouraging time to help each other commit God’s Word to heart.
  • HEAR Journal sharing. This time is the bulk of the meeting. You will ask each person to share at least one, but maybe two, HEAR journals with the group. You will discuss the journals as a group and encourage one another into accountability to the Response portion of their journal. 25-40 minutes. Make sure your group spends the most time on this part if the meeting even at the expense of every other part of the group time.
  • Accountability questions. Five minutes. You might ask some key questions every week about your group’s marriage, work, thought life, etc. Or you may use the HEAR journal applications as your accountability portion of the group time. Whatever your group does for accountability, keep it within five to  10 minutes and at or near the end of the meeting time.
  • Prayer. 10-15 minutes. Now you will allow each person to share a prayer request and spend time praying as a group. Everyone should pray. Try to ensure you spend at least as much time praying as you do requesting. Often our prayer times are spent with the discussion of the need versus calling out to God. Try to lead your group to pray more than share, or at least as long as you shared.
  • Additional resource. Often, you will want to read a book together or study something in addition to the HEAR journals. For example, perhaps you want to help your group understand discipleship, and you all choose to read through the book Growing Up. Spend no more than 10 minutes discussing a chapter at a time. The best place for this is between the accountability time and prayer time. The key is to make sure that a book discussion doesn’t take over your group time. You don’t want to facilitate a book club; you want to study and apply the Word of God. Push the extra resource to the end of the meeting and limit the share time to 10 minutes if your group chooses to use one.

This article originally appeared here.

You Must Disappoint Someone: How to Say No to Good Things

By
Jon Bloom
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Do you know how to say no to good things? Why do you spend your time doing what you do? Why do you say yes to doing some things and no to doing other things? Are you saying yes and no to the right things? These are unnerving, exposing questions to ask.

You Must Disappoint Someone: How to Say No to Good Things

Most of us would like to believe we say yes and no to our time commitments based on objective, logical assessments of what appears most important. But that is very often not the case. Very often we make these decisions based on subjective assessments of what we believe others will think of us if we do or don’t do them.

How other people perceive us—or how we think they’ll perceive us—has an extraordinary influence on how we choose to use our time. Coming to terms with ways we seek people’s approval or fear their disapproval will force us to face humbling truths about ourselves and may require repentance and uncomfortable change.

But given how brief our lives are, and how limited our energy and other resources are, we need to heed what God says to each one of us through the apostle Paul:

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Ephesians 5:15–17)

And one way to carefully examine our use of time and energy is to invite the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and see if and where we are inordinately influenced to say yes or no out of a fear of man.

A Surprisingly Clarifying Question

I attended a conference recently where ministry leaders on a panel were asked to describe how they remain focused on their core calling while deluged with demands. One of the speakers posed this question to us: “Who are you willing to disappoint?”

At first this might seem like a negative and perhaps unloving way to decide what we should or shouldn’t do. But it really isn’t. It’s actually a clarifying question. It isn’t asking us who are the people we will choose not to love. It’s asking us what we are really pursuing in our time commitments. Whose approval are we seeking? God’s? Other people’s? Of those, whose?

I think this is what Jesus was getting at with Martha in Luke 10:38–42. Martha was “distracted with much serving” (Luke 10:40). I imagine nearly everyone in her home that day thought she was doing a good thing. Martha herself thought this, which is why she requested Jesus’ support in exhorting Mary to get busy helping. She didn’t seem to be aware of her own motivations. But Jesus was. He saw the deeper motivations in both Martha and Mary.

Martha was “anxious and troubled about many things” (Luke 10:41). Martha’s time commitment was being motivated by anxiety, not love. Given the context, it’s reasonable to assume her anxiety stemmed from what all her houseguests would think of her if she stopped waiting on them and did what Mary was doing.

Mary had “chosen the good portion” (Luke 10:42). Superficial observers of the situation might have concluded Martha chose the good portion and Mary was being inconsiderate. I would guess Mary felt this irony. She knew Martha very well. I imagine she knew she was disappointing Martha by listening to Jesus instead of helping serve the guests. But in that moment, Mary was more willing to disappoint Martha than to disappoint Jesus. And Jesus commended her.

The exposing question for Martha was, who was she willing to disappoint?

We Serve Those We’re Unwilling to Disappoint

And that’s the question for us too: Who are we willing to disappoint? Or, who are we unwilling to disappoint?

We all choose to serve those we’re unwilling to disappoint. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, though it certainly can be a bad thing. God actually designed us to function this way. He made us to be motivated by what we love, and we always fear to disappoint the one(s) we love.

“If we are motivated by someone else’s approval over God’s approval, our service can become our destruction.”

Now, I know the apostle John said, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). But he was addressing a different kind of fear, the fear of “punishment” or condemnation. John meant that God’s children no longer need to live in terror of God’s wrath.

But perfect love does indeed produce a certain kind of fear:

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” (Deuteronomy 10:12)

This kind of fear is not merely the terror of wrath, but the fear we have when we don’t want to disappoint the one(s) we really love. The kind of fear that “serve(s) the Lord with gladness” (Psalm 100:2) is the fear that comes from the thought of disappointing the one we treasure most. We fear to lose the treasure.

Choose This Day Whom You Will Serve

But serving those we’re unwilling to disappoint can be a very bad thing, even a tyrannical thing, if our loves are idolatrous. If, whether out of anxiety, selfish ambition, narcissism or some other sinful love, we are motivated by someone else’s approval over God’s approval, our service can become our destruction.

And the thing is, like Martha, we might not be fully cognizant of our own motives. We might think we’re doing good things when we’re not. One indicator to look at is how often we feel “anxious and troubled.” Notice I didn’t say “weary.” It’s clear from the New Testament that a heavy workload, and even suffering and persecution, can be given to us by God. But an anxious, troubled spirit might mean what’s motivating our busyness are efforts to please the wrong persons.

“Life is too short, and God too precious, to give our years and our strength to the fear of man.”

If that’s true, we’re likely due for a reevaluation of our time commitments. We should ask the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and try our thoughts (Psalm 139:23). We should ask ourselves the hard question: who are we willing to disappoint? Or who are we unwilling to disappoint? Are we unwilling to disappoint God? Are we unwilling to disappoint others? Are we unwilling to disappoint our own selfish preferences? These questions can help us untangle motivational knots.

And if we’re tempted to avoid facing the answers, let’s remember that life is too short and God is too precious to give our years and our strength to the fear of man. Joshua exhorts us from the ancient past: “Choose this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15). Let’s respond with him, “We will serve the Lord” with all our heart and soul in the gladness of love-inspired fear (Deuteronomy 10:12; Psalm 100:2).

This article originally appeared here.

Why a Little Leadership Chaos Is Good Sometimes

By
Ron Edmondson
-
thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Why a Little Leadership Chaos Is Good Sometimes

Sometimes a little leadership chaos and confusion prevailing can be a good thing.

I was in a meeting once and someone on our team defined a leader as one who provides answers and direction to a team.

I understood their concept. I disagreed with the application. A lot.

In fact, I have a different theory.

Good leaders sometimes allow a little chaos and confusion to prevail.

In fact, it can be best for everyone when they do; often providing better outcomes than if the leader simply gives an answer.

  • It promotes buy-in by team members.
  • It fuels creativity.
  • It fosters teamwork.

Here’s the deal. As a team wrestles together for answers some of the greatest discoveries are made—about the team and the individuals on the team.

But getting there is not always easy.

It requires the messiness of sharing competing ideas. It involves testing, making mistakes and trying things, many of which simply won’t work. It involves allowing paradigms, systems and structures to be challenged. It means there will be times when people don’t have all the answers or aren’t sure what’s next.

That sounds like chaos to some people. (Maybe even someone reading this right now.)

I’m not suggesting we don’t search for clarity. We need to better define our systems and structures. We need to help people develop actionable plans toward progress.

Good leadership knows, however, that the best answers often come by allowing the disruption of ideas before everything is made clear.

A question to help me with this thought process:

If the leader always has everything clearly defined—if he or she is always ready with an answer—then why does the leader even need a team? (Certainly why would one call it a team?)

This article originally appeared here.

7 Signs That You’re Cocooned in the Church World

By
Chuck Lawless
-
thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Studies have shown that many church members don’t do evangelism. Fear is often a primary obstacle, but so is the reality that many of us are cocooned and insulated in the church—thus, we’re disconnected from the very people we’re called to reach. Here are some signs that you’re cocooned in the church world:

  1. You don’t really know many non-believers. You may have non-believing neighbors, acquaintances and co-workers that you know at a surface level, but you don’t really have strong relationships with them that facilitate evangelism. Most of your life takes place around believers.
  2. You see the world not as a mission field to reach, but as an enemy to avoid. You take “Be in the world but not of the world” to mean “Don’t even be in the world so that you’ll avoid being of the world.” You’re more afraid of the world influencing you than you are committed to influencing the world for the gospel—so you avoid the world at all costs.
  3. You plan to be in church every time the doors are open, regardless of other obligations you may have. I know this position is a debatable one, so please hear me out. I want believers to be faithful to join the gathered saints (Heb. 10:25), but that doesn’t mean there are never times when missing a church event for the sake of others is justified.
  4. The church world is where you find your self-worth. When you find your purpose and value in positions you hold in the church—rather than in your position in Christ—you’ll cloister yourself in that world. That’s where you feel most significant (and often, most powerful).
  5. The only persons you pray for are other believers. While praying for one another in the family of God is crucial, a lack of intercession for non-believers and the unchurched implies a heart that’s too narrowly focused. It suggests that we’ve insulated ourselves from the spiritual needs around us.
  6. You drive by neighbors you don’t even know to get to your church family on Sunday morning. You recognize their faces, but you may not know their names. Or, if you do know their names, you don’t know their stories. They’re just a face in your peripheral vision as you focus your attention toward believers.
  7. Your primary understanding of evangelism is “Y’all come to us.” You want people to hear the gospel, but you view evangelism as the work of the pastor when everyone’s gathered for worship at your church. Even if you’re the pastor, you evangelize primarily from the seemingly safe place of the pulpit.

So, what’s your assessment of your own life? Are you cocooned? 

This article about being cocooned in the church world originally appeared here.

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