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Terry Smith: Dreaming of Diversity in Your Church

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Terry Smith has served as Lead Pastor of The Life Christian Church for over twenty-one years. TLCC – a non-denominational faith community in West Orange, NJ – is known for its vibrant diversity with people from over 135 communities in the NYC Metro area participating in the life of the church.

Key Questions for Terry Smith:

– Why do we need another leadership book?
– 
What is a hospitable leader?
– How was Jesus a hospitable leader?

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Key Quotes from Terry Smith:

“I see hospitable leadership as a worldview, a mindset.”

“Hospitality is a huge key to having a diverse church. It’s all about welcome.”

“Part of hospitality is being open to people and their dreams.”

“Hospitality is more the cause of diversity than anything we could describe.”

“I describe home as a place where our hearts are warm. When are hearts are warm we are open to being led.”

“I see a lot of leaders who are technically trained but who do not pay attention to the soft side of leadership. They don’t warm people’s hearts.”

“In all kinds of ways we are creating an environment where people’s hearts are being prepared for where we are trying to lead them.”

“We are very intentional about creating an environment where people celebrate the fact that they are doing life with people who are not like them.”

“We expand personally and our ability to influence when we sit at a table who are not like us.”

“Good leaders are invested in the dreams of those they lead.”

“I think churches would do a better job of doing what we’re called to do, if we’d just be happy.”

Links Mentioned by Terry Smith in the Show:

Life Christian Church

The Hospitable Leader

Text code for book: “Terry” to 345-345

Being a Special Nobody

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Because of his sinful disobedience, the Lord fired Saul as King of Israel. He then sent the prophet Samuel to the house of Jesse in Bethlehem, to anoint a new king. 

Jesse presented to the prophet his sons he thought would make a good king. But when Samuel turned his horn over their heads, the oil of God did not fall on any of them. 

When Samuel saw one particular son, Eliab, he was convinced he had found his man. Eliab was straight out of central casting. He walked and talked and looked like a king. “Surely, this must be the Lord’s anointed one!” Samuel confidently declared. 

Samuel was wrong. 

The Lord pulled the prophet aside and said, “Samuel, be quiet while I am working. You and I are not looking for the same thing. Man looks at the outward appearance, I see in a man’s heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). 

Samuel was instructed to anoint one of Jesse’s sons. However, the oil did not fall on any of Jesse’s sons. But Samuel did not let this seeming contradiction cause him to doubt the word of the Lord. Rather, he wisely concluded that must not have met all of Jesse’s boys. 

“Oh, dear! You’re right!” Jesse said. “I have another son. He’s the runt of the litter. His name is David. But you couldn’t want him. He’s not king material. He’s only a shepherd-boy.” 

“We are not going anywhere until he arrives,” Samuel commanded. “Go get him.” 

They fetched David from his field duties and brought him to Samuel. Before the young man could fully understand what was going on, oil flowed from his head down to his feet. 

David, the young shepherd boy, was the Lord’s newly anointed King of Israel. There was no question about it. The Lord was emphatic, rejecting David’s brothers before the community, and selecting the son Jesse almost forgot he had. 

But David’s coronation by the people did follow David’s anointing by the Lord. No crown. No throne. No palace. No riches. No army. 

The Lord summoned David from the sheepfold, brought him before his family and community, and anointed him as king, instead of his brothers. Then the Lord told David, “Don’t call me. I’ll call you.” 

The next time we see David, he is in the same place he was when we met him. As Israel battled the Philistines, Jesse sent David to take his brothers some food and bring back a war report. In obedience to his father, David left his flock and went to the place of battle, where he saw the giant Goliath defy the armies of the living God. 

Being a Special Nobody

Did you catch that? Not where David was sent to—the battlefield, where he would have his epic encounter with Goliath. But where he was sent from—with the sheep in the field. 

David was anointed to sit on the throne. But he was appointed to sit among sheep. He was destined for the palace. But he was stuck in the field. He was called to greatness. But he was left in obscurity. 

David was special. At the same time, he was a nobody. David was a special nobody. 

Why did the Lord anoint David for the throne, only to leave him in the pasture? 

David was anointed to succeed the reign over Israel, in the place of Saul. But although David was anointed, he was not yet ready for the throne. At the same time, the throne was not ready for David. Saul was fired. But he would remain on the throne until the Lord finished his divine work.  

Beyond that, Bethlehem may have known David was anointed. But the rest of Israel did not. The Lord needed time to present David to Israel on his own terms. 

For David to lead Israel, he needed the smell of anointing on him. But he also needed the smell of sheep on him. Unfortunately, too many of us want the sweet smell of anointing, without the foul smell of sheep. But until you have served field duty, you are not ready for God to do greater things in, through or for you. 

Imagine what would have happened if newly anointed David would have marched to Saul’s palace and declared, “It’s my season!” His season would have ended before it ever started! 

For David to sit on the throne, he had to do more than announce his anointing. He had to trust God’s word, wait on God’s timing, and submit to God’s process. He had to be a lowly shepherd before God made him a mighty king. David had to learn to be a special nobody. 

The Lord has placed a priceless treasure in you. The Lord has ordained a great purpose for you. The Lord wants to produce an abiding harvest through you. But the Lord is the one who does it, not you! It happens on his terms, not yours. 

The Lord is responsible for your future role. You are only responsible for your present assignment. Do your job! And do not try to do God’s job! Be marked present where the Lord assigns you, and trust him to do the rest. 

Have you learned to be a special nobody? 

This article originally appeared here.

7 Tips to Help Your Leaders Be More Effective at Interacting With Kids on Sundays

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Do you go to a kids’ camp?

For most churches, that is part of the annual rhythm because it creates awesome relationship building opportunities between leaders and students and students and other students.

This year for the kid’s camp we attend, we wanted to be even more intentional than normal in giving our kids an awesome experience.

So I asked a mentor, Dick Gruber, who has chaperoned, led and been a guest speaker at many kids camps over decades what advice he would give me and other kids’ leaders who tend to go into camps and retreats with such high hopes and end up settling with just trying to survive.

After we implemented his tips at camp, we realized that they were also relevant to every Sunday.

So here are seven tips to help your leaders be more effective at interacting with kids on Sundays:

1. Greet the kids with a smile and energy from the moment you see them.

This begins from the moment they walk in and see you, not just when they come into your Small Group. The tone you set at the beginning will carry throughout the day.

2. Surprise your kids.

Maybe you bring candy one Sunday and give it out at the end of Small Groups. Or you hand write a card for each kid. Do something to let them know you truly care about them.

3. Pray about everything first thing.

The kids are deciding what activity to do, pray. One of the kids falls and gets a scrape, pray. The girls won’t stop talking, pray.

4. Pay attention to your kids during services.

Dick has seen kids literally get in fist fights while he was sharing a message and the kids’ chaperone, sitting right beside them, didn’t even notice.

I’ve personally witnessed similar occurrences in kid’s church. It’s OK to enjoy the service with the kids, just keep an eye out.

5. Pay special attention to instructions for the altar/response time.

Inevitably, some of the kids won’t be paying attention and you’ll have to clue them in.

6. What leaders do in moderation, kids will do in excess.

If you worship authentically, kids will worship even more authentically. If you complain about something, they’ll complain even more. If you do a small prank to be the “cool” volunteer, the kids will escalate it.

7. Be a student of the kids you’re responsible for.

Observe your kids every week to see how they engaged, what questions they asked, how God used them. Write down what you observe.

Then once a month, share what you wrote with the kids, and give what you wrote to parents at check-in or checkout.

This lets the kids know that you’re always present and looking for ways to encourage them and also clues parents into how God has wired their kids spiritually.

What tips would you add?

This article originally appeared here.

Removing Obstacles to Jesus

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As we recruit, train and encourage our sound and media teams it’s vital to remind them of the importance of invisibility and “seamlessness.” Certainly, the Lord can use imperfect productions for His glory, but when our tech work is smooth and seamless it clears the way for the God’s message to be heard. It can make an eternal difference! Invisible, seamless service certainly made a difference in my life: when I was 10 years old my mom and I visited a small church near our house as a last ditch effort to find a remedy to a domestic abuse situation we were involved in. That one little service changed our lives forever. The songs, the sermon, and collective community made a huge deposit into my soul and led me on a pathway of salvation of discipleship that continues to this day. All the men and women of that church worked together to lead me to Jesus, and I am thankful!

Our gatherings are vital not only for the believers who gather but also for the souls who come [to] church searching for a place to belong. One of our most important tech roles is to remove barriers between the people who attend our services and the one true God. Things like microphone feedback, missed cues, sloppy transitions, and poor grammar on presentation slides can all become unnecessary obstacles. These seemingly small things might indirectly become barriers to meeting Jesus.

In Luke’s gospel, we see a picture of several men doing everything they can to get a paralyzed man in front of Jesus so He could heal him. There was an impossible barrier around the house so they found a way to get the man to Jesus: “And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus.” (Luke 5:18-19)

Jesus had the ability to simply heal the man despite the crowds, but this story reveals how faithful servants can remove barriers to Jesus. When we clear the way for the story of God to be clearly communicated, our work can make an eternal difference! Here are a couple [of[ ways we can help remove barriers to Jesus in our weekly productions:

Go to the Roof

Be inventive in looking for solutions that are not obvious. Sometimes our modern church culture gives the idea that “easy beats better.” We would rather be consistently mediocre than occasionally excellent. Excellence comes not from merely checking off a to-do list, but also opening our eyes to what God might be doing in any situation. In this example from Luke’s gospel the men could have given up and gone home when they the saw the crowds — but they didn’t! They resorted to extraordinary measures. Each week at our services the solutions might require the same from us. Are you prepared to crawl under the stage? Return home to get your laptop? Run from one side of the building to the other to address a need? For the men in Luke’s story, there was nothing easy about bringing an invalid up a flight of stairs!

Teach your teams the value of removing barriers in solving problems. Allow those under your care to identify problems and implement solutions. Ask them, “Do you see anything going on here that could be distracting?” and, “What do you think we can do about it?”

Be “Invisible”

The servants in this story are the nameless, faceless heroes. This idea is no surprise to those who have served behind the scenes, but it’s good to be reminded that church works best when we don’t get the attention (or the credit). We fix problems that 99 percent of the people in the room didn’t know were problems. However, never equate being invisible with being unseen. Later in the passage after Jesus heals the man he says, “And when He [Jesus] saw their faith, he said, ‘Man, your sins are forgiven you’ ” (Luke 5:20). The Lord sees you in the sound booth or media station!

Tech leaders should excite the idea of invisibility on their teams. They should celebrate the ordinary. We should all make an effort to praise our teams when nothing goes wrong!

Make the Meeting “Seamless”

We should identify each transition point in a meeting, and rehearse those transitions with worship leaders, speakers, ushers, and prayer and ministry teams. Do it for the glory of God, knowing that these seamless transitions help people focus on the message — and not our missed cue!

Every week our sound and media teams have the privilege and honor of helping people experience the Love of God the Father through Jesus. God gives us His Spirit as a guide, a comfort, and motivator to move us along. It’s not our job to make God show up, or bring in His presence; rather, we are to host his presence. It’s a question worth asking: how can tech volunteers help people better encounter Him? What obstacles can we remove so people can see a greater revelation of God? Sometimes faithful service is opening a space where there wasn’t one before by removing the barriers to Jesus.

Found in the December 2016 issue of Ministry Tech Magazine.

5 Ways to Create Passion on Your Worship Team

create passion
LIghtstock #643131

Our responsibility as worship leaders is to facilitate a corporate worship experience. Our congregations look to us to show them how to connect with God during our times of singing together. They are literally following our lead. I’ve learned that the majority of people in the congregation will express about half the energy that those on the platform are showing. So how do you help your team lead them better? How do you create passion and engagement in worship on stage?

5 Ways to Create Passion on Your Worship Team

1. Release them to be free in worship.

Do not underestimate the power of permission. Your words hold some weight. Consistently remind your team that it is OK for them to be physically expressive in worship. Release them to appropriately connect with their emotions. I will often remind my team several times throughout a weekend, in the final minutes before we take the platform. This keeps it fresh in their minds.

2. Model what you’re looking for.

If you want to create passion on your team, follow up your instruction with your example. As you lead the team, you have to be willing to do what you’re asking them to do and more. Your team should be able to look to you for what’s appropriate for the platform. Make sure you’re walking the talk.

Would You Subscribe to Bible Software or Church Software?

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Late in November Bob Pritchett, the CEO and founder of Logos Bible Software, now called Faithlife, asked a question in the company’s online forum. Read it here: http://bit.ly/1Bkz8Pk. He wrote a long post about the idea of subscribing to Logos and wrote, “I’d love to get your input on what types of subscriptions Logos could/should offer.” He reassured customers that Faithlife won’t end the current model where customers own their software and resources.

Would you subscribe to Bible software or other church software like membership management or worship presentation programs? Many already do that with online management systems and Faithlife offers Proclaim, a subscription-based church presentation tool. I know of no one that sells subscriptions to Bible software.

Used by permission from Barta IV via Flickr

 

Online Only or Online Plus Offline

Logos already offers a simplistic version of their software in an online form at Biblica.com. Pritchett asked if they should offer an online-only subscription service with “lots more functionality from the desktop version” or should they offer the online site in addition to offline software that a user installs on their computer?

Many people own Chromebooks that can’t install Logos. The new breed of Windows computers like the HP Stream 11 and 13 laptops that only cost $200+ with only 32GB of storage or Windows tablets with 16 or 32GB of storage would be impractical for owners of large Logos libraries. Add the small number of Linux computers, which can’t install Logos. A cloud version of Logos with most or many of the features of the installed version of Logos makes sense at the right price.

What if Olive Tree, Biblesoft (makers of PC Study Bible) Lifeway’s WORDsearch, or e-Sword started to offer an online version for a fee? Would you “rent” your Bible software online or even in an offline version?

 

What Books Should They Offer

People may not know that Faithlife already offers a limited number of books for rent (see which ones here: http://bit.ly/1vnmN4T). Get some high-end titles for as little as $1.19/month on up to $49.95. What if every title available were available via an all-you-can-eat model? At the right price, I’d love that.

Some suggested in the Logos forum discussion that the company should offer a rent-to-own model, but that’s what they already offer with their payment system. Buyers can get Logos books for a one-time price or pay a monthly fee plus a $5/month processing fee. After a few months to two years, they own the books outright.

Instead, it makes more sense to offer everything they sell for a large fee for those with plenty of money to burn. Then offer tiered models based on how people use Logos. Give people a Christian Library focused on lay people that includes some Bibles, a few study tools that don’t require any language skills, and access to some books that appeal to lay people from their Vyrso library.

Other subscription levels that Bible software companies might offer would include those for scholars, pastors, libraries focused on specific denominations, youth workers, music ministers, missionaries, translators, and more.

Finally, I’d hope that a subscription model could offer an a la carte model. Let me pick the books I want and charge based on the number and kind of books I select. If you got inspired to make a business with subscriptions, it would be wise to learn details like the kpi for subscription business.

Not all books make sense as rentals. I don’t want to rent my favorite Bible translations, but I might want to rent a collection of commentaries on the book of Romans while I’m preaching through that book for a year. I want to own my favorite Bible dictionary, but I’d rent a book on preaching while I’m reading it. I won’t read it again after I’m done, so why not rent it for a month?

 

What’s the Right Price?

What’s the right price to charge? An all-you-can-eat model would have to be expensive for Logos to make money, but many of us don’t need all the works they offer. I’m not going to read 19th-century fiction love stories but others won’t want leadership books or language study tools.

Logos already offers base collections starting at $250 or $25.89/month for 12 months. Their largest library costs nearly $10,000 or almost $400/month for 24 months.

After one or two years, the person who buys via a payment plan owns the books and pays nothing more. So how much would the company have to lower the monthly fee to make a subscription model work?

Logos already offers the Understanding the Bible Commentary Series for $500 or $46.66/month for 12 months. They’ll rent the commentary series for $22.95/month. That’s about half the price of the monthly payment.

Going by that model, the Collector’s Edition mentioned previously might go for $200/month as a rental. That seems like a bargain, but realize that after four years, the subscriber will pay more than they would if they bought it and paid the $387/month for the 24-month payment plan.

I think the price would need to be much lower to make it worthwhile. $100/month for a huge collection would make it more appealing. Much more, and I don’t think many would pay.

 

Who Can Use the Library?

The last question is who can use the library. Currently, Logos lets me use my library on as many devices as I own and doesn’t police this. Families can use the library as long as they’re not using it at the same time.

However, Bob Pritchett also asked whether it might make sense to offer a subscription for groups. He wrote:

Would a subscription be more valuable if it could be shared? What if a pastor bought a large subscription, but as a side effect everyone in that church (or on that church’s staff?) got access to a portion of it, too? (Pastor gets Collector’s Edition for online/offline use, [the] whole church gets Starter equivalent for online and mobile use?) Would this make it more attractive to subscribe?

That would make the subscription model interesting.

Here’s what I’d like to see. Maybe a pastor owns a library and reads a book that he thinks the church should study. The Bible software company could offer a simple subscription to the pastor to let everyone in his church, small group, or on his staff read that books plus a few additional titles. For example, what if my church wanted to do a study of John Piper’s book “Finally Alive.” The book costs $13.95 from the Faithlife. If a small group of 20 people wanted to do the study, we’d have to pay $279 so each person could access the book via Logos. The study might take three months.

What if Logos or another Bible software company offered a group subscription model? The 20 people could all install a computer or mobile app and read the book. How much would make it worthwhile for the small group but still cost-effective for the Bible software company? Using the Logos model of half their annual payment price, the following makes sense. $279 divided by 12 months plus $5/month for the processing fee makes the monthly payment $28.25. Since Logos rents books for half that fee, the rental for the small group would cost about $15/month. Logos needs to realize that some of the 20 small group members might get used to using Logos on their iPad or Galaxy phone and want to keep using it as their Bible. They might want to do their Sunday school lesson study on it. One of them might be a seminary student studying for the ministry. How much money might the company make on future sales or subscriptions? It’s possible that the Bible software company would see this as a lost leader that would attract further business. Instead of charging $15/month to the church, they might charge $4.99/month knowing they will easily make up the other $10 in future sales and subscriptions. They might even give one book per month for a group study to current subscribers at a certain level. If I subscribe to the Pastor’s library for $79.99/month, maybe that would give me access to one book each month for up to 25 people for free. This would create some goodwill and future business from among the small group members. The small group members could use the app on their phone and on the computer version along with the other books Logos already gives away for free when someone registers for an account.

 

Conclusion

I’d like to see Faithlife begin offering subscriptions, especially the group subscription model for a single book for churches.  I’d also like to see the all-you-can-eat with a feature-rich online version for less than $200/month. Add a model where I can mix and match the books I want for a graduated cost, and I’m very likely going to subscribe if offered. Finally, target users based on their usage and interests. Make it available as an installed version for computers and a mobile app for phones and tablets. Also make it available as a feature-rich cloud-based program for Chromebook, budget Windows-PCs and Linux users.

Leadership and Suicide: When Ending It Seems Like the Only Way Out

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It’s so hard to write a post like this.

Hard because it’s something that has impacted so many people and it’s so close to so many of our hearts.

As many of you have likely heard, last week Andrew Stoecklein, the pastor of Inland Hills Church, took his own life at age 30 after a battle with anxiety and depression.

I never met Andrew or his family nor have I visited his church, but, like so many of you, I’m devastated for everyone involved. His wife, Kayla, wrote a moving tribute on her blog, and Andrew’s death made national and international news.

That’s difficult enough, and all of us need to pray for Kayla, their boys, family and church. (And please consider giving to this GoFundMe campaign to help support Kayla and the boys.)

The other reason it’s hard to write this post is because I don’t even like to admit I was there too a number of years ago myself.

My story isn’t a long battle with anxiety and depression per se. The way I got to suicidal thoughts was through burnout. And the worst part of my burnout in the summer of 2006 was a season when I thought that ending it was the most logical and least painful way out.

You know how hard it is to talk about this stuff? I’ll tell you how hard. In my new book, I have an entire section on burnout and how to overcome it, but I only gave five paragraphs to my battle with suicidal thoughts. Honestly, I was just too terrified/embarrassed/ashamed to write more.

But today, in light of the widespread dialogue that’s emerged over Andrew’s passing, I’m going to give it a few more paragraphs, because like many of you, I was so saddened to learn about the suicide of a leader who by every appearance had so much going well: a wife who loved him, three sons, a great church and a future.

Let me say it again before we dive into more words: Maybe you’ve thought the only way through your pain is to end your pain. It’s not.

My Story

This may come as a surprise to many people who follow me online, and likely to a lot of my friends and people who know me personally.

But not only did I move into full-fledged burnout in the summer of 2006, it got worse. I tell the whole burnout story in the book (it’s just so easy to get burned out these days), but here’s an excerpt from Didn’t See It Coming on my suicidal thoughts.

My situation grew even darker than all that. Over a decade later, I still can’t believe I’m going to write this next section. Part of me doesn’t even want to admit this portion of the story is true. But it is, and I know this is an aspect of the experience far too many people can identify with.

By late summer, I began to think the best way to get through this burnout was to not go through it. Because hope had died for me in those months, I began to wonder whether that should be my preferred option as well. For the first time in my life, I began to seriously think that suicide was the best option. If I had lost hope, was no good to anyone, couldn’t perform what I was expected to do, and was causing all kinds of pain to others (a conclusion that wasn’t coming from a place of objectivity), then perhaps the best solution was to be no more.

By God’s grace, I’ve never owned any weapons. If I did, I shudder to think about what I might have done to myself in a weak moment. I’m not terribly coordinated or technically skilled, so I figured a kitchen knife would probably result in me doing things horribly wrong. In my mind, my preferred path was to take my speeding car into a concrete bridge support and end things that way.

I don’t know how close I came to doing it. I’m far from an expert at determining how serious a threat like that is. Although I never undid my seat belt and never sped up far past the limit as a bridge approached, I do know the thought of ending it that way became a false friend to me, a strange and perverse source of comfort. And, in a twisted way, maybe a way of getting back at a God and a life I felt were letting me down.

As I look back now, over a decade later, on how I felt at that time, it seems like it was someone else who struggled with those thoughts. It’s amazing how an episode like this can play with your mind, but that’s exactly what burnout does: It messes with your thinking.

Its arena is your thought life, and burnout can be a merciless, savage beast. I’m so grateful I didn’t listen to those voices, but I share this in case you might be hearing something similar.

Do the people you love a favor: Don’t listen. Don’t give in. Don’t give up. The negative voices are lying. That’s not who you are, and that is definitely not the solution, even though some days it can feel like it is.

Looking back on that now, I can’t tell you how grateful I am I didn’t listen. The story in my life is so much different than I thought it would be in 2006. It’s so much better and richer and more fulfilled.

But I couldn’t see that back then.

So let me take you there and share five things that I realize now that I didn’t know then.

I hope they feel like hope and help to you.

1. It’s Difficult to Communicate How Dark It Gets

If you talk to most people who know me well and know me personally—even the people closest to me in 2006—and ask them Does Carey struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts? their answer would be Are you kidding me? Of course not. No. 

But back in ’06, I did. Big time.

Whatever your battle, you know this is true: Leaders, the way you appear on the outside is different than you feel on inside.

Even the people who knew me best in ’06 have asked me, Was it really that dark? 

The answer is, actually, yes.

But even though I’ve been a writer and speaker for decades, I didn’t have the right words to articulate how bad it really was, even though I’ve had hundreds of gut-honest conversations with counselors and the people who love me most.

In her letter/post to her late husband, Andrew, Kayla wrote:

You were right all along, I truly didn’t understand the depths of your depression and anxiety. I didn’t understand how real and how relentless the spiritual attacks were. The pain, the fear and the turmoil you must have been dealing with every single day is unimaginable. 

Her words hit me deeply.

I know for me, the reason people couldn’t have understood how I felt is because I couldn’t properly articulate how I felt. It’s not their fault they couldn’t understand. And it’s not really the depressed person’s fault they couldn’t articulate it.

For me, the darkness came as a surprise, as an unwelcome guest, then a resident. And on certain days it felt like it owned me. I felt like I was in that bad dream so many of us have that we’re being carried away and you try to scream and nothing comes out. It gets like that sometimes.

The words come easier in the rearview mirror than they do in the moment.

I just pray you hold on long enough so there’s a rearview mirror to see.

This Is Why the AGT Judges Can’t Stop Praising Michael Ketterer

Michael Ketterer America's Got Talent
Screengrab Youtube @Talent Recap

An emotional Michael Ketterer performed James Bay’s “Us” on August 28th on the America’s Got Talent stage. Once again, the worship leader and father of six moved the judges with his soulful voice. Simon Cowell was so overcome with emotion he had difficulty answering host Tyra Banks when she asked for his feedback.

“We just need more men like you,” model Heidi Klum told Ketterer. All four judges on the panel (Cowell, Klum, Mel B and Howie Mandel) gave him a standing ovation when he was finished singing.

It was Ketterer’s second appearance on the talent show, his first being a home-run performance that caused judge Cowell to hit the Golden Buzzer and send Ketterer straight to the final rounds of competition. From the beginning of the competition, Cowell, also a father, has had a soft spot for Ketterer.

“I can’t imagine what you’ve done and the fact that you’re on this show, and you really need this and you’re a really, really special guy,” Cowell told Ketterer.

The praise didn’t stop there. Mandel said, “People should be led and inspired by who you are and how you are.” The panel learned of Ketterer’s family life the first time he was on the stage, in June.

Michael and Ivey Ketterer Are All About Adoption

In an I Am Second video, Ketterer and his wife, Ivey, share more of the story that led them to adopt five of their six children. When their oldest child, Sophie, was eight, she began having dreams about three brothers who needed to be adopted. Michael and Ivey knew they couldn’t afford the cost of adopting a child from overseas, but they met a family who had fostered children and eventually adopted them. Hearing this family’s story opened the door for the Ketterers, who were relieved to learn that foster children receive a lot of help from the government—things like healthcare and college tuition in some cases.

After going through the process of being certified to foster children, the Ketterers received a call about three brothers who had been living in a meth lab with their parents. Jared, Chase and Jeriah were added to the family shortly thereafter.

When he is not leading worship, Ketterer is a pediatric mental health nurse at a hospital. He also knows what it feels like to try to make one’s way through life without a father. When he was 14, Ketterer’s father left, and while he wasn’t totally absent, he wasn’t around much. Ketterer describes the feeling as “being out at sea with no compass.”

During his first appearance on AGT, Ketterer explained to the judges that when you grow up in the situations his children had, you’re focused on just surviving and can’t dream. Ketterer told the judges he wished to show his children “that if their dad can live out his dreams, then nothing’s impossible for them.”

When the couple adopted their son Rodrigo (Rodee), who has cerebral palsy caused by shaken infant syndrome, they were told they were the only family who could take him due to Ketterer’s medical background. There was so much work involved in taking care of Rodee that Michael actually told Ivey at one point that he didn’t know if he could continue caring for him. Praying for God to show him if Rodee really was his son and that he should stay with the Ketterers, he asked for a sign. As Ketterer was driving to work that day, he saw a billboard (a literal sign) with a picture of a man pushing his son who also has cerebral palsy in a special wheelchair during a marathon. Ketterer took that as his sign and didn’t look back.

The last child they adopted, Shawn, came in a way similar to the three brothers. Ivey had a dream about a “little black boy.” Ivey says she woke up in the middle of the night and prayed, “Lord, if that little boy is my son, bring him to me.” The next call the Ketterers received was about an African American boy who had been living on the streets. The family calls Shawn their “cherry on top,” as they believe he completes the family.

Anne Graham Lotz Diagnosed With Breast Cancer

Anne Graham Lotz
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Anne Graham Lotz has revealed that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She revealed the news on her website Tuesday afternoon.

She got the news less than three weeks ago.

“The Refiner has just added fuel to the fire in my life. On the afternoon of Aug. 17, 2015, between 3:00 and 3:30, as you may know, I discovered my husband, Danny, unresponsive in our pool. Two days later, he was home! Three years to the day, on the afternoon of August 17, 2018, at the very same time of day, 3:00 to 3:30, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.”

Graham wrote that she first considered the timing “an assignment from the enemy” but later realized that it was divine.

“I heard the soft, gentle whisper of the Spirit, reminding me that it was on a Friday, during that very same time, between 3:00 and 3:30 in the afternoon, that God’s Passover Lamb was sacrificed. Jesus died on the very same day of the week, at the very same time of the day, crushing the head of the serpent, forever defeating the devil and death (Matt. 27:45-46; Gen. 3:15; 1 Cor. 15:55-57). Praise God! The cross, the blood of God’s Lamb, trumps anything the devil can throw at us or assign to us!”

Since the diagnosis, Billy Graham’s daughter says God has given her “promises and encouragement from His Word.”

“God has been—and is—my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in this trouble. Therefore, I will not fear (see Ps. 46:1-2). But He also has made it very clear that my healing will be in answer to not just my prayer, but the prayers of others for me.”

In obedience to what she has heard from God, she is asking for prayers for her and her family during this time of refinement by fire.

“Pray for God to heal me in whichever way He deems would bring Him the most glory. Healing without surgery, with surgery, with surgery and follow-up treatment, or through the greater miracle of the resurrection.”

Anne Graham Lotz, second child of Billy and Ruth Graham, is the founder of AnGeL Ministries and former chairman for the National Day of Prayer Task Force. She has authored 15 books, including her latest, The Daniel Prayer.

Ravi Zacharias on Gender Identity: Follow God, Not Your Desires

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Editor’s Note: After the publishing of this article, an independent investigation found allegations implicating Ravi Zacharias of sexual abuse to be credible. Prior to this report, ChurchLeaders had published multiple articles about Ravi Zacharias and his ministry. Although our editorial team believes his work still has value since it involved articulating the truths of God’s Word, we would be remiss not to disclose the painful truth of Mr. Zacharias’ personal actions that have come to light following his death. For further reading, please see:
Sexting, Spiritual Abuse, Rape: Devastating Full Report on Ravi Zacharias Released
The Story Behind the Ravi Zacharias Allegations (Part 1): Lawsuits, NDAs, and Email Threads
The Story Behind the Ravi Zacharias Allegations (Part 2): ‘Cursory’ Investigations and More Accusations


Gender identity is a topic that is drawing considerable debate in 2018. In addition to political questions the issue raises, there are also theological concerns.

Among them—how should Christians respond to questions about gender confusion, self identification and whether gender is changeable?

Ravi Zacharias was recently asked about the topic at Passion City Church in Atlanta, Georgia. In this video, Pastor Louie Giglio asks Zacharias to speak to the evolving conversation surrounding gender.

Zacharias offers two books for those looking for additional insight, Gender Dysphoria by Mark Yarhouse, a professor of psychology, and director of the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity at Regent University and Talking Points by Vaughan Roberts.  Roberts is a Church of England clergyman who has admitted struggling with feelings of same-sex attraction.

But regarding his personal thoughts on the topic, Zacharias says many ask him about gender issues when he speaks on college campuses and he knows several people who have struggled with identity issues. He says it’s a real problem, it’s not imagined.

He suggests those confronted with the problem consider a viewpoint he calls the “transversity model” in which “the transcendent truth of what is ultimate has to apply to what is present and how you interpret it.”

He says God designed your body and made it the temple of the living God. The gender God described for you comes with restrictions. He placed the same boundaries on himself when he came to earth as a man.  

In deciding how you will live your life, restrained by the gender identity in which God designed you, Zacharias said you must let intention be your guiding beacon.

We must all honor God rather than follow our proclivities.

Zacharias points out, “You invited God to live within you. This is his residence. Let him tell you how to manage it.”

John Crist: Who Would You Pick in a Celebrity Pastor Fantasy Draft?

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Fantasy football leagues have taken over the nation. It’s estimated that 33 million people are taking part in the game of picking NFL players for your own fantasy team and predicting which ones will perform the best from week to week.

Players pour over a mountain of statistics to pick the best players to help them win. They look at numbers like “Regression to the Mean,” “Opportunity-adjusted Touchdowns” and “Average Depth of Target.”

If it can be done for football, why not with pastors? But instead of determining a QPR (Quarterback Performance Rating), participants would calculate PPR (Pastor’s Performance Rating).   

To find the rating you take the number in a pastor’s congregation, divide it by the number of satellite campuses, take the number of times you see them on TV each week multiplied by the number of New York Times bestselling books divided by the number of minutes their sermon goes over each week. Simple.

Comedian John Crist came up with the idea and in this video he gets together with three friends for a celebrity pastor fantasy draft.

Just like with fantasy football, each person starts by picking a team name.

Crist chooses “First and 10 Percent.” Aaron Chewning names his team “Show Me the Tithe Money.” Andrew Stanley heads up “Non-Denomination Domination.” And Tripp Cosby chooses “Take a Knee” (for prayer, not the anthem).

Each player picks pastors for their team based on the pastor’s strengths. Here are some of their picks and their expected value to the fantasy team.

Joel Osteen: “He has books in airports, preaches to a large congregation every week, great looking man, beautiful wife—the Tom Brady of pastors.”

Steven Furtick: “The highest applause break per sermon of any white pastor.”

Jesse Duplantis: “He’s about to raise $53 million for a new jet. His sermons per week average is about to skyrocket.”

Beth Moore: “Her twitter account right now—fire, dude.”

Joseph Prince: “The best hair in the draft.”

Andy Stanley: “He always converts in the red zone (holidays).”

Finally, the players get to make a “Rapid Fire Flex” pick. For this selection each participant picks a quality from three undrafted pastors to be combined into one super pastor.

Andrew Stanley picked a combination of Joyce Meyers’ TV numbers, Judah Smith’s fashion decisions and Francis Chan’s racial ambiguity.

Aaron Chewning wanted Rick Warren’s book sales, Brian Houston’s accent and Tim Tebow’s body. Even though Tebow isn’t a pastor and wasn’t on the board Chewning picked him because “I saw him at Catalyst and it #wrecked me.”

John Crist opted for TD Jakes’ stage presence, Tim Keller’s theology and Carl Lentz’s cell phone contacts, which likely included Selena Gomez’s phone number.

And Tripp Cosby finished the selection process by choosing Creflo Dollar’s tithe numbers, Levi Lusko’s stage props and Pope Francis’ twitter followers.

In case you’re interested in playing along Crist has this word of advice, “When your pastor is on bye week, always start your youth pastor—but expect way less production.”

How to Gauge the Success Potential of New Small Group Leaders

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While we cannot guarantee or control the success of another, we can do all we can to make sure they do succeed. In order to gauge the success potential of the new leader you are sending out, there are several factors to consider. Below I give my “big eight.”

Indicators for New Leader Readiness:

  1. They have taken the small group leadership training class offered through our church.
  2. They have become effective in leading various parts of our group such as the icebreaker, the prayer time or the Bible discussion.
  3. They have been effective at performing most of the eight habits of an effective leader consistently, including prayer for group members, inviting new people and contacting group members.
  4. They have and use a good personal growth plan.
  5. They have at least one good apprentice.
  6. They have several people that are happy to follow their leadership in a new group.
  7. They have a good place for the new group to meet. Preferably, they have secured a good host/hostess.
  8. They have a good day and time for the new group to meet.

It is ideal to be able to put a big check by each of these eight indicators. Obviously, the more indicators they have in place, the greater will be their odds of success. As I look back over our ministry, those leaders with the most indicators have had the most success.

In the last several years, I have turned out some apprentices who failed to maintain a healthy growing group. One of them was great at teaching and leading various elements of the group meeting, but he was lacking in the other key indicators. He had no apprentice. He was not sure clear on where or when to meet. He struggled to have a growth plan. He rarely contacted or prayed for group members and never invited new people. I should have never sent him out. But I did… and he failed.

Another failure involved a married couple with six indicators in place. But they picked a poor time to meet and had not proven to be successful at inviting new people. When one of their seed couples moved away, they were left with just themselves and their apprentice couple. And, after a year of struggling, they closed the group.

As you mentor your apprentices, let this checklist serve as a guide and help you guide your apprentices through the development process. Try to have as many indicators as strongly in place as possible before you send them out. If there are gaps before they are sent out, they rarely get filled in after they are leading. Get those gaps filled in first. If it means you send out fewer leaders, then that is alright. It is better to send out a few good leaders who are well-trained than a lot of weak ones. The good ones will lead healthy, growing groups that multiply. The weak ones will probably close their groups before long, if they even get them going to begin with.

This article originally appeared here.

Leadership Challenges—6 Things Leaders Hate Doing, but Need to Anyway

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“Eat your vegetables, they’re good for you.” My mom said those words to me countless times as a kid. But I didn’t care how good vegetables were for me, I didn’t like them, and brussels sprouts were the worst!

Mom was right. Veggies are good for me, and I should have eaten more. The nutritional benefits would have been fantastic.

All leaders face “brussels sprouts” kinds of tasks, truths and responsibilities. You know they’re good for you, and need to be adhered to, but you don’t want to just the same.

My advice. Eat your “leadership veggies” anyway. The benefits are obvious.

The following are six of the most common things leaders hate to do, but smart leaders do them anyway.

6 Things Leaders Hate to Do:

1) Get honest about your limitations.

I can do all things in Christ. Right?! Well, yes, but I still can’t slam dunk a basketball. Leaders have to know and embrace their limitations.

Embracing your limitations is not the same as giving up, deciding not to work hard or continuing to grow as a leader.

I play the guitar, but no matter what I do, I’ll never play like Jimmy Hendricks, Eric Clapton or Carlos Santana. In the same way, I’ll never preach like Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler or Louie Giglio. It can be tough to own that, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can be set free to become all that God has intended for you.

So, how about you? What are your greatest strengths as a leader? Do you know your limitations? From your energy level to your unique skills and abilities, how has God wired you to succeed?

2) Allow God to determine the definition of church growth success.

I would love to be able to decide how large the church I serve becomes. But God doesn’t allow that.

The New Testament makes it clear that the church is intended to grow, but there is no indication that we get to determine the size. I think God knows us too well to allow that.

Yet, we strive and get frustrated if our church doesn’t grow as fast as the superstar church across town. Don’t misunderstand, this isn’t a platform for excuses, or suggesting that lack of progress is OK.

But God doesn’t set His Kingdom standards based on how many are sitting in the pews, in fact, we are all wise to do our best to teach and lead according to our best understanding of how God defines success.

Success for your church is best determined by seeking God through prayer, and aligning yourself and your work to His vision for your church. Then stay focused right there. That’s my prayer for us at 12Stone.

3) Focus on execution as much as ideas.

Ideas are fun! Cultivating ideas like titles for a blog post is a blast, but actually writing the post, well, that’s more like work.

I’m not suggesting that generating good ideas is easy, but an idea that the Holy Spirit can give you in a moment can take a thousand hours to see it to completion.

In fact, a “B” idea that gets completed is better than an “A” idea that never gets done.

Learning to develop good ideas and connecting that to equally outstanding execution is essential, but it’s surprising how often that fails in the local church.

I think it’s natural for us to like the vision, the idea, and what’s new and shiny best. Like launching a new campus, or the start of a new sermon series. But when the balloons have faded there is much work to do.

The best leaders are ruthlessly intent on execution.

4) Cast vision beyond your ability, but not beyond your faith.

Casting vision, or signing on to the vision when it’s beyond your ability, is a risk. Failure is possible. That’s leadership. If failure isn’t possible, it’s unlikely that you’re leading into new territory.

Confidence is required to press forward, but the future is still uncertain. At the same time, however, you should never lead beyond your faith.

It’s non-negotiable that you believe God can deliver the vision you are leading to.

That requires that you believe two things. First that God is the author of your vision. Second, that God is with you and for you.

These two things are relatively easy to believe in your study or prayer room, but the risk becomes real when you go public. Wise leaders don’t go public without knowing God is the author of their vision.

5) Slow down.

Most of us hate the idea of going slow, and yet none of the most important and meaningful things about the local church can be rushed.

Our responsibilities may cause us to feel pushed and rushed, but those we lead and serve don’t want to feel that from us.

The church is entirely relational. The first relationship is with God and the second relationship is with all those you serve. (Starting with your own family.)

It takes highly developed skill to accomplish your responsibilities, and yet do so with poise, positivity, generosity and a non-anxious presence.

In fact, if everything you do seems rushed or last minute, you are likely experiencing unnecessary stress and possibly unnecessary problems.

The most important things in leadership require substantial and unhurried time.

Things like: prayer, leadership development, study and think time, listening, love, writing a lesson, discernment, etc.

6) Pay attention to the right details.

I’ll let you in on a surprising fact. The best leaders I know are very detail oriented in at least one specific area. They usually don’t like it, but do it anyway.

They are not picky perfectionists or disempowering leaders, but they pay very close attention to specific details.

For example, some senior pastors know the financial details backward and forward. Some senior pastors care about and are involved in every minute of programming on a Sunday morning. (This point is not limited to senior pastors!)

The key principle is not about being focused on all the details, but being focused on the right details at the right time. And further, having the ability to know when to let someone else handle the rest.

The best leaders, whether you are the senior pastor or new to the team, know what details are important and they pay very close attention.

What details are you paying close attention to?

This article originally appeared here.

Discipleship at Home: The Sacred

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“Discipleship in the home”

For some, these words bring a sense of affirmation and anticipation; a hearty “Amen” in the heart. For others, the reaction to hearing these words can be quite different. One of the things I noticed when I started to work with parents in the area of discipleship was an oft-expressed sense of inadequacy. Why? Well, because often the parents I talk to didn’t experience “discipleship in the home” growing up; rather their experience learning about God and faith was isolated to their Sunday school or church service.

This experience of a compartmentalized lifestyle separates home life from church life from school life from work life and so on and can create an environment in many homes, even Christian homes, that is devoid of faith practices and spiritual conversations.

And many parents feel overwhelmed and a little scared to begin introducing these spiritual elements into the rhythm of their home.

But perhaps the answer to helping parents navigate these waters lies less in experience and even in equipping and more in a framework changes; a change that removes the separation of spiritual from secular and begins to explore life as one holistic experience rather than segmented ones.

In his book Ancient-Future Faith, Robert Webber says, “We must learn, then, not to HAVE a spirituality, something we turn on at a particular place or time, but to BE spiritual, as a habit of life, a continuous state of being. It is to this end that we seek after God in the stillness and hubbub of life, but always and everywhere in and through the church, where Christ is made present to us and, through us, to the world.”

In other words, our spiritual life and our secular life aren’t separate but rather two parts of one whole simply called “life.” Which means whether we are at our job or at home or at the ball game or in the car, we are still very much spiritual and attuned to spiritual things.

So, what does all of this have to do with parenting, discipleship and the home?

Those parents who feel so overwhelmed often feel that way because “churchy things” like talking about God, reading the Bible and praying are things they’ve only experienced in a building we call “church.” Their sacred life and their secular life are strongly compartmentalized, and allowing the two to intermingle is a foreign concept to them.

This compartmentalization of life is almost like a toddler’s food plate, where each item gets its own little compartment and nary the foods shall touch. But the thing about our faith is that it wasn’t ever meant to be left in one compartment. Rather it was intended to be the plate upon which all of the other things find their meaning and stability.

I remember when this all clicked for me. It was an “aha” moment like no other that culminated in this thought:

Discipleship at home is not about adding more to my already full schedule.

It is about inviting Christ into what I am already doing.

Making disciples, according to the Great Commission, is something we do “as we go” (Matthew 28:16-20). It’s something that should be as natural as eating and sleeping and coming and going. In fact when Moses told the people of Israel how to pass on their faith to the next generation, he tells them to do it “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deut. 6:7). These are the most ordinary, mundane, everyday times that all people on earth experience daily and it is in these moments that we are told to pass on our faith.

Because Christ, being fully human and fully God, can transform the most ordinary things into the most sacred because for him, there is no division; it is all “life.”

Brother Lawrence, a 17th century monk, wrote a book called The Practice of the Presence of God, where he encouraged Christians to live each day in the experience of God’s presence no matter what they are doing. He shares that “our sanctification [does] not depend on changing our works, but in doing that for God’s sake that which we commonly do for our own.” Inviting Christ into what we are already doing changes them from mundane to beautiful, ordinary to extraordinary, temporal to sacred; it brings our life as a disciple, harmony.

And that is “discipleship in the home.”

It’s truly not about doing more. It’s about experiencing Christ in all that we do.

This article originally appeared here.

12 Reasons Your Church Doesn’t Produce Spiritual Growth

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A while ago, I read Move: What 1,000 Churches Reveal About Spiritual Growth, by Greg Hawkins and Cally Parkinson. Greg is the executive pastor at Willow Creek Community Church. Cally is Willow’s director of communication services. The book is based on their research of over 1,000 churches. It takes a hard look at spiritual formation in our churches with a focus on best-practice ministries.

This book is by far the book that has most challenged my thinking regarding spiritual formation in the church. My Kindle version has highlights throughout. This morning, I went through all those highlights and tried to narrow them down to the 12 that I found most challenging to current church practices. Unfortunately, these statements only provide a snippet of the findings and best practices outlined in the book.

12 Reasons Your Church Doesn’t Produce Spiritual Growth

1. You focus more on Bible teaching than Bible engagement.

“We learned that the most effective strategy for moving people forward in their journey of faith is biblical engagement. Not just getting people into the Bible when they’re in church—which we do quite well—but helping them engage the Bible on their own outside of church.”

2. You haven’t developed a pathway of focused first steps.

“Instead of offering up a wide-ranging menu of ministry opportunities to newcomers, best-practice churches promote and provide a high-impact, non-negotiable pathway of focused first steps—a pathway designed specifically to jumpstart a spiritual experience that gets people moving toward a Christ-centered life.”

3. You’re more concerned about activity than growth.

“Increased church activity does not lead to spiritual growth.”

4. You haven’t clarified the church’s role.

“Because—whether inadvertently or intentionally—these churches have communicated to their people that, no matter where they are on their spiritual journey, the role of the church is to be their central source of spiritual expertise and experience. As a result, even as people mature in their beliefs and embrace personal spiritual practices as part of their daily routines, their expectation is that it will be the church, not their own initiative, that will feed their spiritual hunger.”

I Don’t Want to Change the World Anymore

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When I was in the eighth grade, I had it all planned out: I would attend West Point Military Academy. I would become a lawyer. Then a senator. Then President of the United States. I wanted to change the world.

When I was a freshman in college, I resisted the Lord calling me to ministry because I was afraid of living on food stamps as a youth pastor for the rest of my life. After a number of friends and mentors (and the Holy Spirit) convicted me of my fear, I recognized the calling like they did and submitted myself to a lifetime of ministry. I had no idea what that would look like, but I knew I wanted to change the world.

But in the last year or so, I think something’s changed.

I don’t want to change the world anymore.

I can’t say for sure if my heart was in the right or wrong place when I used to want to change the world. Sometimes I am sure my motives were mostly good.

But I know that, many times, I wanted to change the world so I would be remembered. So that I would appear in school history textbooks and documentaries you would never watch on your own time but that you love to watch at school.

I wanted to change the world because it was the only way I thought I could achieve significance.

But I don’t want to change the world anymore.

I don’t want to be remembered in history textbooks or documentaries.

I don’t care to have a lasting impact on the world.

It sounds depressing, but I promise it’s not.

Serving as the leader of my local church’s student ministry has made me care more about discipling the middle and high schoolers in my community than getting blog pageviews on this site.

Settling into my role at LifeWay, even as much as it has changed over the years, has made me more interested in equipping others to stand in the spotlight than standing in it myself.

Reaching five years of marriage to my wife, Susie, has made me more interested in learning how to best serve and love her than pursuing opportunities to impress others.

Publishing my first book, a lifelong dream I never expected to accomplish, has made me less interested in ever publishing another one, no matter what “groundbreaking” ideas may come along.

As I have grown into adulthood and settled into a home, a job and a community, I have lost my desire to change the world.

And I think that’s OK.

Whether it be because of recent events or because of a general growing in maturity I’m not sure, but I have come to the conclusion that living a life of ordinary faithfulness is no less noteworthy than a life that fills volumes of biographical books and documentaries.

I don’t want to change the world. I just want to live a life of quiet, ordinary faithfulness. To Christ. To my wife. To my church. To my work.

Don’t get me wrong: Wanting to change the world isn’t bad. Don’t let me stop you.

I guess I’ve just become more concerned with doing everything I can to serve the people in my midst than with impressing people on the Internet or otherwise around the world.

I’ve barely posted on here lately, and a small part of me has felt guilty about that. But a much bigger part of me hasn’t felt guilty about it at all, and I’ve wondered why.

I think it’s because I don’t care to change the world anymore.

I’m thankful for the people I’ve met and have been able to help on here over the years, but I just don’t care to do it as much anymore. Other things have taken priority.

I want to still help and serve people online. But it’s dramatically fallen down my list of priorities the last year or so.

So I apologize that I haven’t posted much on here lately.

But I’m not really that sorry about it.

This article originally appeared here.

Why (I Think) Everyone Should Have a Counselor

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This past weekend Zac and I celebrated 18 years of marriage.

Before we get into the sticky stuff—I cannot imagine a more incredible gift of a husband. We are best friends, he supports my dreams, isn’t afraid to kick me in the tail and also loves me unconditionally. We love Jesus and we always have—we came into marriage with pretty minimal baggage and yet still…

MARRIAGE IS DANG HARD. And being in ministry for most of our married life—I can tell you that marriage gets difficult for almost everyone.

I believe this fact occurred to me soon after coming home from our honeymoon—it was our first huge fight. Huge as in…complete with me throwing something, slamming the door and driving away.

It was a scene from a movie…in fact, come to think of it, I am pretty sure I ripped it off from Meg Ryan. But in the movie…when the girl runs away the boy comes after the girl.

So I waited and waited and waited for him to come chasing me, driving slowly around the block several times. This was before cell phones (can you even imagine?) so I knew if I went too far, he would worry and call the police. So I just circled the block.

After a dozen circles and no sign of a distraught Zac in the yard calling 911, I decided it was time to relieve my fraught-with-worry new husband…I opened the door to our little apartment and Zac had fallen asleep on the couch watching football.

Over the next five years, there were more slammed doors and a lot of football before I emotionally began to just shut down. Now to be fair, we got married as little baby children (20-year-olds). Oh my word! What on earth? This was just barely legal.

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And it wasn’t long before young marrieds became young parents and we found ourselves treading the deep waters of parenting toddlers and difficult ministry and unable to fight in a healthy way. I opened up to a mentor about some of our relational tensions and she suggested that we seek out a marriage counselor.

“A counselor?!” In my mind, counselors were for people about to get a divorce. While our marriage could certainly improve…we weren’t that bad?!

Is Francis Chan’s Model of Church the Future?

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We Are Church Documentary from Crazy Love Ministries on Vimeo.

Francis Chan is not one to hold his tongue when discussing what is wrong with the American church. A new documentary about Chan and his house church endeavor explores what could be so right with the American church.

“In America, Christianity has become this consumer thing,” Chan says in the 20-minute documentary, titled “We Are Church,” which touches on some of the themes of Chan’s new book, Letters to the Church.

“One of our elders calls it pastoral malpractice: You’re actually ruining people by making them consumers because you’re supposed to be turning them into servants.” This model is far from the instructions we receive in Scripture. “We don’t come to be served; we serve and give our lives as a ransom for many,” Chan says of what every believer should be doing to emulate Christ.

Put succinctly, we’ve “twisted” what it means to be the church, and Chan doesn’t mince words when he adds “it’s evil.”

So What Does Francis Chan Think the Church Should Look Like?

Besides Chan, a handful of members and leaders in Chan’s house church network are interviewed in the documentary. One gentleman, Sean Brakey, who hosts a house church (in his house) says church should have less emphasis on a killer sermon with a great worship set and greater emphasis on the members loving each other well and studying Scripture together.

You might think that as host or leader of the house church, Brakey prepares a sermon every week. This does not appear to be the case, though. He explains at their meetings “everyone’s bringing stuff”. Sometimes they will read a passage of Scripture and someone will comment on the text or God will highlight something to the group. Perhaps someone else thinks of a song and begins to sing it. Everyone, Brakey says, feels as if they “have something to contribute.”

The Priesthood of Believers

In fact, fellowship and studying Scripture are not exclusive of house meetings. At one point in the documentary, you see a lady waking up and spending time reading Scripture and praying early in the morning. You see her pull out her phone and scroll through the messages she’s received already from members of her group. The group members text one another to share an insight they got about the Scripture they’re reading.

In this way, the documentary makers imply, discipleship—specifically studying Scripture—is not facilitated in a top-down kind of way. Rather, the members themselves are facilitating it.

Family Is Not Just Nuclear

Sarah Zabala lived with Chan and his family for a time. Zabala says she came from a life of crime and drug addiction. “They accepted me in like a family member,” she recalls. “You get to see the good, the bad, the ugly when you’re living with somebody,” Zabala says. She specifically points to Lisa Chan, Francis’s wife, who modeled what it means to be a godly wife and mother to her.

Chan says more than being a family, the church is called to be a body. “If one hurts, we all hurt,” he says. This is the emphasis the members of the house churches strive to live out on a daily basis. One family fosters and adopts children. Another makes it a point to share meals with their neighbors on a regular basis. The emphasis is on opening up your home, inviting others in, and living in community.

The Discipleship Path Is Progressive

Chan explains there is a natural flow of people who show up, then become disciple-makers, then become pastors, then become elders. Once there are a few elders at one particular house church, another church can branch off. In this way, the network of churches hopes to see organic, non-centralized growth that doesn’t depend on a lot of structure at the “top.”

Three Lead Measures – Abiding, Going, Telling

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As a father, I’ve recently entered into the phase where my boys are playing in some sports leagues. Practice during the week, then games on Saturday. With my boys, enthusiasm for practice is hit-or-miss because they struggle to take practice seriously. They’re highly motivated and enthusiastic before games on Saturday, but they just don’t yet understand how practice correlates to gameday, despite even my many pep talks. I’ll talk to them after games, trying my best to explain to my young boys that how they practice determines how they play. I’m hoping they’ll get it soon.

For church ministry in America and across the world, I’m hoping well get it soon too – that what we do beforehand directly impacts the results. This seems so obvious, and yet so many churches are completely missing the correlation.

So many of us have become consumed and obsessed with attractive lag measures rather than emphasizing crucial lead measures. Lag measures are attractive because they’re easily recognizable. Pastors easily talk about attendance, giving, baptisms and salvations because it’s the easiest way to express success or the lack thereof. Lead measures are also recognizable, yet many pastors and congregations have difficulty in recognizing important lead measures because we have failed to appreciate how crucial practice is to gameday, how vital preparation is to results. And perhaps many don’t know how to focus on lead measures because they simply haven’t yet clarified what they are.

For this post, I want to clarify three important lead measures for church ministry that I believe are crucial for disciple-making.

Lead Measure #1: Abiding in Christ.

Nothing is more important for a follower of Christ than to abide in Christ, to be with Christ and to live with Christ. This is likely the greatest lead measure for a disciple and for a disciple-making church, which makes it imperative for churches to figure out how to observe this and measure this.

Jesus said that producing much fruit is the result of remaining in Christ (John 15:5). The fruit Jesus speaks of in John 15 is disciple-making, which means that abiding in Christ is a definitive precursor to making disciples who make disciples. This is why exercising spiritual disciplines pertaining to discipleship is so vitally important. Spiritual practices like prayer, reading the Word, worship, fasting, repentance, scripture memorization and living in biblical community are the fundamental lead measures that helps disciples produce much fruit. I’m certain that most churches are emphasizing the importance of abiding in Christ through spiritual disciples and practices, yet I’m convinced many of these churches have simply failed to figure out how to identify, observe and record this as a lead measure. This is why discipleship groups are proving to be one of the most effective tools in helping churches to understand how their people are abiding in Christ. Discipleship groups help church leaders understand how their church members are practicing this lead measure of abiding in Christ.

Lead Measure #2: Going with Christ.

The story of the early church is the story of commission. Before Jesus’ death, he sends out his disciples. After his death and before his ascension, Jesus commissions his disciples to go and make disciples of all nations, knowing that soon they would be filled with the Holy Spirit and be empowered to do so. The book of Acts is a detailed account of a commissioned people.

This lead measure of commissioning, of going with Christ, is crucial to the success of the early church because disciples can’t be made unless disciples are first deployed. Jesus modeled what it meant to be sent and then commanded his followers to live sent (John 20:21).

Paul even recognized the importance of commissioning as a vital lead measure when he rationalized that people can’t believe without hearing about Jesus, that people can’t hear without a preacher, and therefore preachers need to be sent (Romans 10:14-15).

Whereas lag measures focus on those who come, perhaps Jesus would rather us focus on those who go. In other words, attendance, salvations and baptisms are dependent on God’s commissioning of his disciples. Churches experience growth and disciple-making because they first emphasize going.

Lead Measure #3: Telling about Christ.

The third lead measure that is crucial for disciple-making churches is gospel conversations – talking about the good news of Jesus to those around you. Lag measures like salvations, baptisms and attendance are the result of what God does. Paul understood this (1 Corinthians 15:5-7). He couldn’t determine what would grow and what would result. Only God gives the growth. Paul knew that he was given the joy of planting and Apollos was given the privilege of watering.

Measuring if people are having gospel conversations and how many people are having gospel conversations is a great tool for helping to create a disciple-making culture. Emphasizing this helps people to see that disciples are made and multiplied by first telling others about Jesus.

In the end, the church’s ultimate lag measure has already been determined. God will collect for Himself a very large family from every tribe, tongue and nation. With that in mind, the joy of the church today is found in being confident in knowing that the results are with God, and He’s invited us to practice and prepare for that day by abiding in Christ, going with Christ, and telling as many as possible about Christ.

This article originally appeared here.

Is It Justifiable for Christian Music Artists to Use Swear Words?

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There is much talk about how to contextualize the gospel to a particular culture. Missionaries do this all the time as they study the language of a people group and then seek to communicate the gospel story in that language. But are there times when we take it too far? Especially in music performed by Christian artists who use questionable terms to communicate their message. In the following video, Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile comments on the trend of cussing in Christian music.

When it comes to speech, according to Anyabwile, we must take our stand with Scripture. Human speech is one of the most unique things about people and our God-given ability to bear the image of God. This means that our words are imbued with a profound sacredness, and therefore every Christian must take into account what is presented in Ephesians 4:29: “let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth.” The only things that should come out of our mouths are things to edify, build others up, and to communicate grace to the hearer. This is a really clear criterion for our words.

As Anyabwile argues in the following video, there is nothing about art, culture, or context that grants us permission to sin. It is actually blasphemous to raise art, culture, and context above the very commands of Scripture. We are sinning if we try to reach people in ways that Christ disallows. Christ determines our goal and our method in reaching others with the gospel. This is a sober warning for Christians who seek to knock over fences in order to reach others and thereby compromising the straight and narrow path to eternity with Christ. Watch the whole video to hear and see more of Anyabwile’s thoughts.

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