Step by step, Mike O’Brien takes you through everything you need to know about producing a live recording right in your own building.
Small Group Leaders: Protect Yourself (and Others) From Burnout
It’s been about five years since it happened and the thing is…I didn’t see it coming. I guess I should have, everyone around me could see it happening…but man, I sure didn’t.
I could hear God but I wasn’t listening. To be honest, I really didn’t like what He was saying. I can remember the words like it was yesterday, “I haven’t called you to this…”
I’ll never forget the day I finally listened though, and began to understand the reality of what was happening.
I was burnt out and even worse…I had placed my family on the altar of ministry and was in the process of sacrificing. Twelve hour work days, desperately seeking approval, finding my identity and self-worth in my work…all led to me burning out.
I’m going to make a blind bet and say there are a lot, if not everyone reading this, that have gone through a similar type of experience.
Burnout is no joke. It can end a career, it can ruin a family, but moreover, it can damage our relationship with God. At the end of the day, God has never called us to burnout but the fact is it’s rampant in the church world.
As small group point peeps and pastors, we not only have to protect ourselves but even more those we lead from burnout. Here are a few key factors I learned on how to protect yourself and others.
Rhythms over balance…
Let’s face it, balance is a lie…
I’ve spent soo much of my life trying to figure out how to balance the crazy teeter-totter of work, family and rest only to find myself burnt out and never achieving balance. It’s when I started to look at the rhythms of my life and schedule that I actually started to find time for rest and for my family.
No is a good word…
I am a people pleaser, a tad bit of a workaholic, and to be honest…I don’t like having to say no to things especially when they are opportunities to shine. Here’s the sad reality, these things have become the unsaid marks of a successful person in ministry. The people who really suffer in all this are the people we serve and even more our family.
Saying no is a good thing. When you become willing to say no to a few good opportunities it opens the door for even greater opportunities in life.
Soul care…
This is the most important thing I learned post burnout. The health of my soul directly affects every aspect of my life.
I’ve heard it said, “You can’t give away what you don’t have…but you do give away what you do have.”
The question you have to ask yourself as leader on a daily basis is, “What am I giving away to those I lead?” I wish I could say I’ve always given the people I lead my very best. The reality is I haven’t, and I’ve seen the damage this can do.
Take care of your soul. Make sure you are taking time to rest and replenish your strength. Psalm 42:1 gives us a beautiful example of this:
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”
Get help…
This may be the hardest step in all of this because it requires humility. It requires applying all the previous steps into one action…admitting you need help.
I love this statement, “If you are the person who got yourself into this mess, how do you think you can get yourself out of it?” The fact is you can’t, you need help and the longer you wait the longer you suffer.
As small group point peeps and pastors, not only do we need to protect ourselves from burnout, we also need to protect those we lead from it as well.
Burnout is a choice and a choice none of us need to make!
This article originally appeared here.
4 Emotions That Can Take a Leader Out
As leaders, we experience the full array of human emotion on a regular basis.
How we handle our emotions can make or break our leadership.
Jesus himself experienced the full range of emotions such as: love, anger, compassion, loneliness, frustration and joy.
The powerful thing about Jesus and the expression of His emotion is that it always seemed to be perfectly appropriate and perfectly timed.
But let’s be honest, we’re not Jesus. We are to live like Him, but we’ll never be Him.
So, what can we do?
1) Own your emotions.
For example, we often think that a particular person made us angry.
It’s true that someone can push your buttons, provoke you and cause a certain emotion like anger to begin to rise up in you. But you choose what you do with that.
If it was true that someone could actually “make” you angry, that would mean they control you.
The same is true with gratitude, happiness and contentment, as examples. No one can make you feel grateful, happy or content. These are emotions that you choose.
If other people were responsible for your happiness, you could only experience as much happiness as they could or would give you.
2) Lead your emotions.
It’s not always easy, but vitally important for a leader.
When you are under pressure, stressed, tired or feeling overwhelmed, that’s when leading your emotions is most important.
To lead your emotions is to be present with your feelings. This enables you to guide them and shape them rather than being owned or controlled by them.
Let’s take positive emotions as an example.
Your work as a spiritual leader is serious work. It involves people, problems and even spiritual warfare. Over time this process will drain you.
Therefore, it’s vital that you purposely cultivate positive emotions such as joy, gratitude, love, compassion and contentment.
You can choose to laugh, play, serve and give. You can choose staff, friends and even service providers that you enjoy being around.
You can take charge and lead your emotions, rather than be governed by them.
3) Mature your emotions.
No one wants to live like a robot, or expects perfectly “contained” emotions. Your emotions are an expression of life and make you an interesting person.
At the same time, people can’t trust a leader whose emotions are unpredictable, or may erupt at any moment.
Remaining poised when the heat is on is an indication of maturity with your emotions. Emotional maturity is required to be freed up and real, and at the same time self-controlled and even tempered.
Prayer, wise counsel and intentional effort, combined with selfless living, are key components that help your emotions mature.
4 emotions that can take a leader out:
It’s true that this list of four emotions can be either positive motivators or negative paralyzers.
For example, fear can cause you to get out of the way of an oncoming car.
But in the context of leadership and this post, I’ll focus on the need to wisely learn to own, lead and mature these emotions.
1) Fear
Fear paralyzes a leader. It can prevent you from, for example, taking a risk, having a tough conversation or even being obedient to a prompt of God.
For example, you may be tempted to make a decision aligned with fear rather than faith.
One of the best antidotes to fear is action. Break each fear-producing situation down to bite-sized pieces for action, and tackle it one day at a time.
Remember, God is with you.
2) Anger
One ill-timed blow up can cost you much.
Depending upon the severity of the circumstance or public nature of an outburst, it can cost you your leadership.
The good news is that for one instance, there is usually enough grace that it’s easily repaired.
But if you struggle with anger or if there is a pattern, I would encourage you to seek out a wise and experienced counselor to get underneath the anger and discover its origin.
You don’t need to remain captive to the force of unresolved issues from your past.
Freedom from anger is within reach, but you can’t beat it by yourself. Talk with a trusted friend or counselor soon.
3) Discouragement
Discouragement is one of the top tactics used by the devil in order to take spiritual leaders out.
Discouragement is not enough to disqualify a leader like anger can, and it doesn’t completely shut down a leader like fear can, but it’s just enough to distract a leader from being at his or her best. And over the long haul, that can have huge effects.
For example, your church attendance may have been down last week, but you had a good number of visitors, several people saved and the offering was strong.
The enemy wants you to focus on the things that didn’t go right (the low attendance) because all the other things will encourage you, and that will motivate you to keep going!
Overcoming discouragement can most often be achieved by spending some time with a few positive natured and trusted leaders who believe in you, see the good that is happening, and are full of hope.
It’s also important that you don’t allow yourself to become or remain isolated from others. That is one of the most common ways to take your perspective off center.
4) Insecurity
Every leader has some insecurity. It can be anything from minimal and essentially negligible to nearly debilitating.
It’s up to each of us how we own, lead and mature our personal security.
Insecurity, like discouragement, is certainly not the potential grenade that anger and fear can be. But left unmanaged, insecurity can be slowly unraveling to your leadership.
In fact, insecurity is surprisingly common amongst leaders and the danger is that it can lead to things like jealousy, envy, competition, people pleasing and more.
One of the best things you can do to overcome insecurity is to own it. Talk about it, and be honest about it.
It’s important to identify what triggers your insecurities. When you’re fully aware of your personal patterns, you can begin to learn to handle them in a more healthy and productive way.
Ultimately, the best approach is to remember your identity in Christ.
Find joy and peace in being yourself. Give yourself permission and freedom to be yourself, that’s how people best connect with you and how you lead at your best.
I’ve written a more thorough article on the subject of insecurity and you can read it here.
The 11 Roles Your Team Must Fill
She doesn’t look like brown hair and green eyes.
He could have blonde or black or blue hair. Her eyes could be hazel, blue, yellow or purple.
They don’t sound like a girl.
They may sound like one sometimes but not always.
He doesn’t come from wealth.
Although she might.
She doesn’t speak English.
But sometimes he does.
They aren’t married yet.
And often they are.
He doesn’t have one youth ministry conference lanyard.
She might have 37.
What does a youth minister look like?
Over the years I’ve had the tendency to lean in a specific direction when looking for youth ministry leaders. I outwardly denied such a habit but it existed.
I was misguided as I narrowed my focus. Looking for college age students and young adults who looked like me to help me run the ministry.
What I want now are people of differing ages who don’t always look like me, and I want to support them as they share the ministry.
I’m a believer that youth ministry leadership should seek to be as diverse as those we seek to reach with the love of Jesus.
As a mosaic of ministry leaders comes together, the ministry gains depth and perspective, color and value, mutuality and equality. We encompass the investment with ownership and care. Each of them, whether they are experienced educated extroverted esteemed…or not…are deeply vested. ALL are interested.
When leaders like this are interested in our ministry. We give them a short application to fill out and then we meet up. We get to know each other. We run a background check but we rely more on relational intelligence and cultural IQ to help guide our assessments. We pray a lot over each other.
We look for the part of the mosaic that would be strengthened by the addition. We look for the place in the ministry where the leader would shine most vividly. We look at their personality and their abilities, their heart and their habits, and we do our best to create places where these things can grow.
When asked what our leaders do, I’d answer:
They … pray, listen, cry, laugh, snort, entertain, experience, invest, mourn, celebrate, transmit, teach, overnight, caffeinate, serve, ask questions, lead, imagine, create, animate, step us, take risks, try new things … and more.
In youth ministry, some leaders have multiple roles (and multiple personalities). Some are very specific in their time investment and roles. Still others are free spirits and change roles as they grow and change.
That’s why we don’t give leaders labels. We give them goals, and as they work on those goals, roles tend to rise to the top.
Here are some of the roles that we identify as leaders begin to serve in our youth ministry. Many leaders serve in multiple roles.
Most serve on Sunday mornings or on Wednesday nights.
Many journey with us on events or for one-time program opportunities.
Some are with us always, they never stop thinking about how we can get better, connect more often, support parents, cheer for healthy friendships, and how teenagers can developing a lasting faith in God, and have more fun.
The level of involvement is leader led. They decide when to shift into another gear. Even when we advise that it’s time to shift up or shift down, they have a big say in that.
- The Connectors
- This is the greeter team. This is the curbside. This is the new student registration station. This is the one sitting in the room with the teens. This is the one connecting with other leaders as they arrive, giving them the low down, cheering them on at the starting line. This is the one that has no problem playing four square or talking to parents. Many times the connectors are high school students who begin to feel a passion to love middle school students!
- The Motivators
- This is the round-up crew. The people-movers. The ones who watch out for things I’ve asked them to watch out for. Their eyes are wide open. They are resourceful. They are trouble-shooters. They are value-givers and assimilators. Motivators can amplify messages, stories, announcements. They are contagious.
- The Commuters
- Most of our leaders are commuters. They are adults with an ability to drive a car. If they have a car and they are willing to put teenagers in it, they do that. Commuters are people who help get teens to church. We can’t have a middle school youth group without a carline.
- The Players
- They bring the fun. They join the fun. They facilitate the fun. Sometimes our gamers are teachers because they’re so great at commanding attention, giving instructions and participating with students. Sometimes our players are more free spirited, wild and “all-in.” We need all types of players on our team.
- The Communicators
- Communicators bring us together, give us instruction, lead us. They are pastors, they are worship leaders, they are artists and writers. They are the support who sends emails and texts. Another layer are the students themselves who share, post, tag, like and tweet the message we are trying to send.
- The Teachers
- Our teachers are adults who care about and like teenagers. They lead our small group ministry. They ask great questions. They make a weekly commitment to be mindful of a few. They follow up. They recall truth. They observe needs. They are the first responders.
- The Builders
- Our brains. Our friends who find strategic planning pleasurable. They have ideas. They bring thoughts to the table. They are implementers. They ask questions. They give advice. They do something more than talking. They are volunteers in action. They can’t let things sit for too long. They bring healthy change.
- The Hosts
- Men and women who provide a lawn, a home, a paintball gun. They might bring breakfast on Sunday or set up pizza on Wednesday. They are always looking for ways to make others feel like guests.
- The Formers
- They are sensitive to needs and respond in prayer. They work together with connectors to gauge the temperature of groups and meeting spaces. They are make sure spiritual formation practices are being implemented often. A former will notice when we are out of balance. They’ll push for intergenerational ministry. They look for ways for teens to grow into healthy and whole adults. They make lists. They share them with others. They feel valued when they instill spiritual value.
- The Support
- They know you better than you know yourself. They can almost read your mind. They know what you’re going to ask for before you ask it and why. If they don’t know why they will know quickly and they will help you off the ledge or help you achieve your goal. The support role is my favorite because they are close enough to see my boogers and don’t mind it so much. Because of great support we are able to go far together (boogers and all).
- The Interns
- We spend time working on things together. We prepare them to take our place or take their own place. We pour in and we also receive from a few who have been called into similar ministries. We do life. We become. We play. We serve. We give what we used to hold onto so tightly … away.
I may be missing a few roles and I have a lot to add to each description, but it’s a good start! Each role is different yet simultaneously communal in purpose. Your role may be making sure the game leader has a trash can. It may not seem like much. But it’s perfect and worth it. Your role may be in the quiet spaces, listening. It’s perfect and worth it. Your role may be on the floor hashing out the Bible with teenagers who smell like beef jerky and five different levels of fruity goodness. It’s perfect and it’s worth it.
After reading this, maybe you’ll feel inspired to talk to your youth leader at your church and dive in—somewhere, doing something. Maybe you’ll see your youth ministry differently. Or you’ll reorganize. Some will say, yay, right on and keep on!
What do you say? How do volunteer leaders develop and grow in your ministry?
This article originally appeared here.
The Most Overlooked Ministry in Your Church
One pet peeve I have is people referring to children’s ministry as “childcare.”
The ministry that gets the “childcare” label the most often is the nursery.
Because babies can’t sing worship songs, respond to questions, read scripture or memorize verses, we put the “childcare” label on them.
But the reality is nursery ministry is one of the most vital times in a person’s life. Kids learn more in their early years than any other time. Brain connections are being made. Everything is fresh and new. I believe it is one of the most important times we have to minister to children.
Here’s an example. Recently the University of Iowa researched the impact it makes when you acknowledge and respond to babies’ vocalizations. They found that when parents are more attentive and responsive to their children’s babbling, the children said more words at 15 months of age.
Nursery volunteers, you can make a difference in the lives of babies by talking with them.
I would say a large percentage of churches do not have any teaching or engagement strategies for their nursery. Please don’t miss the opportunity to impact children’s lives at this stage. Here are some ideas to help you start making a bigger impact through interacting with and talking with the babies in your nursery.
Play an age appropriate worship song and sing to them.
Talk back to them when they babble and share with them how much God loves them.
If you see they are responding or tracking with something in the room, use that object to share a biblical principle. For an example, if the child is pointing at a toy in the room, hold it in front of them and tell them God made everything, including the toy and them. Then tell them they are special to Jesus.
Read an age appropriate Bible story book to them. Watch for certain things in the book that they point to or respond to. Expand on the picture or object they are focusing on.
Read a Bible verse to them. Here’s a great way to do this. Pick out one or more Bible promises and paint them on the walls (or you can use a banner or stick on letters) of your nursery and preschool rooms. Pray the Bible promises over them each week they are with you.
Hold a small Bible in front of them. Point to the Bible and say “The Bible is God’s Word. It is true and you can always trust it.”
These are just a few of the ways you can impact kids in the nursery. So let the baby talk begin.
This article originally appeared here.
The 5 Temptations of a Pastor
You’d think that being in church leadership would ensure you’re not tempted to fall into the same temptations as, say, leaders in the marketplace.
As nice as that line of thinking is, it’s wrong.
A few years ago, Patrick Lencioni did a great job outlining the five temptations of a CEO. All of those apply to anyone in leadership, and Patrick’s books are always packed with helpful insights.
I think all of those temptations apply to any senior leader, but ministry adds a layer of complexity or two.
You and I are human. We are subject to the same temptations as anyone else.
Recognizing that we’re vulnerable to a whole host of temptations, pitfalls and set of issues is actually a good thing. Self-awareness is a gift. It can lead you to confession, repentance and a different future.
Denial is a different story. If you think you have no sin, or that these things can’t and don’t happen to you, well…good luck with that. I think there’s something in the scripture that says those of us who say we have no sin deceive ourselves.
When it comes to temptation, denial is an accelerator. The more we think it will never happen to us, the more we position ourselves to have it happen.
I’ve struggled in different seasons with all five temptations. I’m not above any of it. But the good news is self-awareness is such a big factor in keeping yourself from making some very common mistakes.
If can you see yourself as you are, you can become a different self. Confession and repentance are powerful like that.
So here are the five temptations I see pastors struggling with:
1. TO CHOOSE POPULARITY OVER COURAGE
Oh to be popular. While it’s the dream of every elementary and high school kid, it doesn’t make for a great leadership quality.
So many pastors, at heart, are people pleasers.
A key goal of leadership is to lead a diverse group on a common mission. That’s why leadership isn’t for the faint of heart.
Your job as a leader is to take people where they wouldn’t go except for your leadership.
That requires courage. Deep courage. But when you try to please all kinds of people, you usually end up sacrificing the mission.
Instead of moving forward with boldness, people pleasing pastors end up with a lot of people (or a diminishing number of people, actually) going nowhere in particular.
Is that what you want your legacy to be? Didn’t think so.
If you want to be liked, you won’t lead.
2. TO PRETEND THINGS ARE BETTER THAN THEY ARE
So you live in a fishbowl in ministry, and people are always asking you how you are.
It’s so tempting to say things are going great, when they’re not.
Maybe it’s hard at home or your relationship with God seems flat. Or you’re really struggling with discouragement or defeat.
The pressure to say everything’s fine when it isn’t is intense.
Your public talk should match your private walk.
And while you don’t need to tell everybody that things are tough, you need to tell somebody.
To people who don’t know you well, even acknowledging things aren’t perfect keeps the dialogue real and authentic. When they ask you how it’s going, you don’t need to throw up all over them and spill your guts, but you might say, “We have a few challenges, but I’m grateful for what we get to do here. How are you?”
That’s real. And it’s accurate. You don’t need to say anything else.
The better you know someone, the deeper you can go.
And you should be at full transparency with at least a handful of people, and of course, with God.
5 Guaranteed Ways to Leave Church Unsatisfied
1. Don’t participate, merely consume.
If I had to say the one thing holding the American church back today, it would be a consumeristic culture.
We’ve come to expect that the latest technology comes standard in our cars. Our movie theaters should have wide rows with extra padded seats that lean way back.
Unfortunately, we think our church should be no different. Just like the movie theater, we come when the production starts, sit in our seats, are entertained and think we should leave satisfied when it’s over.
When I was a pastor, those most unsatisfied in our body were those who just showed up on Sundays (sometimes). There was little to no participation in small groups, service projects, or teaching and serving within the church.
Obviously, there are those in most churches who are seekers, or young in the faith that just need to be taken care of for a season, but that should be a temporary state.
2. Criticize your leadership.
I once heard about a couple who didn’t like their pastor because he told stories about his family in the pulpit before beginning his sermons.
Quirky? Yeah, kinda.
Unbiblical, sinful, illegal, harmful?! Definitely not.
We’ve really got understand the difference.
It’s also not fair to compare your pastor to the celebrity pastor on the other side of the country, whose book we just read, and now believe that every church everywhere should be run like that celebrity pastor’s church.
Remember that celebrity pastor is in a completely different context. He doesn’t know your church, and he also doesn’t come to your home when you have a tragedy, or celebrate with you when you have a baby or other joyous life event.
We’re hard on our pastors. Their job is a very public job. One that’s performed in front of an audience (by ‘performed’ and ‘audience,’ I just mean that the duties of the job are undertaken in front of a crowd of people).
We would do well to remember that our pastors/church leaders are human beings like us, full of quirks and wrestling with sin and struggles just like we do. Instead of seeing our pastors with targets on their backs, we should see them with love and compassion, and as people who have dedicated their time to serve the body.
If you have a legitimate concern, approach your leader about it, and don’t talk about them behind their back. Be kind, be loving.
7 Ways I Protect My Family Life in Ministry
If a pastor is not careful, the weight of everyone else’s problems will take precedence over the issues and concerns of the pastor’s immediate family. I see it frequently among pastors I encounter.
How many pastors do we know who have adult children that don’t even attend church anymore? Lots. I’ve heard from many who resent the church that stole their family time.
There have been seasons of my ministry where this was the case, especially on abnormally stressful days. It should be the exception, however, not the rule.
I decided years ago when I was a small business owner, serving in an elected office and on dozens of nonprofit boards, that my busyness would never detract from my family life on a long-term basis.
Cheryl and I are in a different season now. It’s easier to protect our time. My heart, however, goes out to the young families in ministry. Please heed my advice.
Here are seven ways I attempt to protect my family from the stress of ministry:
1. Down time.
Saturday for me is a protected day. I normally work six long (up to 10 hours and more) days a week. (I’m wired to work and to take a true “Sabbath.” According to Exodus 16:26 at least, it seems one would have to work six days—just saying!) This also means I agree to do fewer weddings or attend other social events on Saturdays. There are only a few Saturdays a year I allow this part of my calendar to be interrupted. We are blessed with a large, qualified staff. Pastors, it doesn’t have to be Saturday for you, but there should be at least one day in your week like this. If you are wired for two—take two!
2. Cheryl and the boys trump everything on my calendar.
I always interrupt meetings for their phone calls. If they are on my schedule for something we have planned together, it takes precedence over everything and everyone else. There are always emergencies, but this is extremely rare for me—extremely!
3. Scheduled time with my family.
If I’m going to protect time with my family then they must be a part of my calendar. I’ve been told this seems cold and calculated, and maybe it is, but when the boys were young and into activities with school, those times went on my calendar as appointments first. I was at every ballgame and most practices, unless I was out of town, because it was protected by my calendar. It was easy for me to decline other offers, because my schedule was already planned.
4. I don’t work many nights.
Now it’s just a habit and my boys are grown, but when my boys were young, I also wrote on my schedule nights at home. The bottom line is, I’m a professional. You wouldn’t want my time if I weren’t. Have you ever tried to meet with your attorney or banker at night? Of course, there are exceptions—I have some monthly meetings where I have to work at night—and life has seasons that alter this somewhat—but in a normal week I work six full day-time hours a week and that’s enough to fulfill my calling.
5. I’m not everyone’s pastor.
This is hard for members of my extended family or friends to understand sometimes, but I pastor a large church, so if someone is already in a church elsewhere I’m not their pastor. I am simply their brother, son or friend. Obviously, if someone doesn’t have a church at all then this is a different story, especially since my heart is to reach unchurched people.
5 Ways Your Church Can Have a Major Impact as the New School Year Begins
I have always been weird.
While most of my childhood peers lamented the beginning of a new school year, I looked forward to it with enthusiasm. I loved the opportunity to learn and discover new vistas.
As a pastor, I saw the beginning of a school year as an opportunity to try new approaches and to make a statement about the priorities of our congregation. Over the past three decades, I have been blessed to hear from other church leaders on a multitude of topics. Let me share with you what I have heard about great success stories of churches as a new school year approached. They are basic but profound.
- Recommit to becoming a welcoming church. September could be the month where you see a greater regular flow of guests. Families often move in the summer, so their children can start in a new school at the beginning of the school year. Take a look at two of my books to help guide you in this recommitment. Becoming a Welcoming Church is pretty much a complete guide for your church leaders and members. We Want You Here is a unique book meant specifically for the guest as a gift. Both books are only $5 when purchased in a case of 20 books. Commercial over.
- Dedicate a part of a worship service to praying for students and teachers. We recently did that at our church. And we followed the service by writing brief thank you letters to the teachers at one of the schools near us. It had a huge impact on both the teachers and on our members.
- Adopt a school. Request a meeting with a local school principal. Ask him or her what your church could do to best help the school. If it is within the scope of what the church can do, organize a ministry to meet that very need. Some churches paint classrooms. Some churches clean school grounds. Other churches provide back-to-school resources for students and/or teachers.
- Revitalize the groups in your church. Regardless of what you call them, community groups, life groups, Sunday school classes or many other names, these groups are the lifeblood of assimilation, ministry and stewardship in your church. Do whatever is necessary with a new school year beginning to re-energize and grow your groups.
- Re-cast the vision of the church. Many church leaders re-cast the vision of the church at the beginning of the calendar year. Consider casting the vision at the beginning of the school year. You will likely have more new members and guests in September than in January. You have a great opportunity to ride the wave of freshness that a new school year brings.
These are five of the most effective back-to-school ideas I have heard from churches all across North America and beyond. But this blog has several million faithful audience members. I know many of you have some great ideas. Please share them with our community.
This article originally appeared here.
Unexpected Drop of California’s Conversion Therapy Bill
The author of a California bill to declare gay conversion therapy a fraudulent business practice has abandoned his effort for this year after a fierce outcry from the state’s religious community and unexpected dialogue and collaboration.
California Christians are calling it an answer to prayer.
Assembly Bill 2943 would have made it illegal to sell any service intended to change an individual’s sexuality or gender identity. The measure had already passed with large majorities in both the Assembly and Senate, with overwhelming support from Democrats, and was one vote away from the governor’s desk.
But Assemblyman Evan Low said Friday that, after meeting this summer with faith leaders, he would instead try again next year with a new version of the proposal they could feel more comfortable with.
Jonathan Keller, president of the California Family Council, a Christian organization that mobilized against the bill, said in a statement, “We are inexpressibly grateful to Assemblymember Low for meeting personally with faith leaders over the last several months and sincerely listening to our concerns.”
“AB 2943 would have tragically limited our ability to offer compassionate support related to sexual orientation and gender identity, and even to preach Jesus’ message of unconditional love and life transformation,” he said.
Earlier this week, Kevin Mannoia, chaplain at Azusa Pacific University, wrote an op-ed for The Orange County Register expressing his concerns about the bill with the hope that Low and the LGBTQ Caucus would hear him and others. Low said Mannoia “demonstrated good faith” with his column, adding, “Could this be an opportunity for transformational change, in which you can get outside of the typical culture wars and come together and work with them to craft language that they might be able to support?” Mannoia responded, telling the Los Angeles Times, “Trust can be built. It’s well on its way. Communication can happen. Collaboration can happen.”
Christian policy groups around the country also hailed the news.
A 2012 California bill banned the practice for minors, but only when it is offered by a licensed mental health provider. AB 2943 would have expanded the prohibition to adults 18 and older, and covered any commercially-available conversion therapy.
Low, who is openly gay, has asserted that these programs expose participants to damaging psychological abuse. He said in the statement that carrying the bill was deeply personal, because the confusion that he felt as a young man trying to understand his sexuality.
Religious groups vigorously opposed the legislation, which they considered an attack on their First Amendment freedoms. Some churches and other faith-based organizations offer programs that they say help individuals to overcome unwanted same-sex attractions.
Last week, a new peer-reviewed medical journal article debunking the key claims made in support of therapy bans began circulating. Critics of sexual orientation change efforts routinely assert that such therapy is ineffective (arguing sexual orientation cannot be changed) and that attempting it is harmful (driving clients into depression or even suicide).
The new study in The Linacre Quarterly, authored by Paul L. Santero, Neil E. Whitehead and Dolores Ballesteros, observed 125 men who underwent sexual orientation change efforts. The study found that “most…had heterosexual shifts in sexual attraction, sexual identity and behavior,” as well as “decreases in suicidality, depression [and] substance abuse.”
Which of These New Faith Categories Do You Fall Into?
The Pew Research Center for Religion and Public Life has identified seven new boxes to place Americans in centering on the issue of belief.
Sunday Stalwarts are the most religious group. Not only do they actively practice their faith, but they also are deeply involved in their religious congregations.
God-and-Country Believers are less active in church groups or other religious organizations, but, like Sunday Stalwarts, they hold many traditional religious beliefs and tilt right on social and political issues. They are the most likely of any group to see immigrants as a threat.
Racial and ethnic minorities make up a relatively large share of the Diversely Devout, who are diverse not only demographically, but also in their beliefs. It is the only group in which solid majorities say they believe in God “as described in the Bible” as well as in psychics, reincarnation and spiritual energy located in physical things.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, the Solidly Secular are the least religious of the seven groups. These relatively affluent, highly educated U.S. adults–mostly white and male–tend to describe themselves as neither religious nor spiritual and reject all New Age beliefs as well as belief in the God of the Bible. In fact, many do not believe in a higher power at all.
Religion Resisters, on the other hand, largely do believe in some higher power or spiritual force (but not the God of the Bible), and many have some New Age beliefs and consider themselves spiritual but not religious. At the same time, members of this group express strongly negative views of organized religion, saying that churches have too much influence in politics and that, overall, religion does more harm than good. Both of these nonreligious typology groups are generally liberal and Democrat in their political views.
The middle two groups straddle the border between the highly religious and the nonreligious. Seven-in-ten Relaxed Religious Americans say they believe in the God of the Bible, and four-in-ten pray daily. But relatively few attend religious services or read scripture, and they almost unanimously say it is not necessary to believe in God to be a moral person.
All Spiritually Awake Americans hold at least some New Age beliefs (views rejected by most of the Relaxed Religious) and believe in God or some higher power, though many do not believe in the biblical God and relatively few attend religious services on a weekly basis.
Faith in America Is Getting More Complicated
Pew researchers purposely avoided looking at traditional religious affiliation categories in determining these groups but not surprisingly found similarities. However, the research also revealed members of widely disparate religious traditions sometimes have a lot in common. Sunday Stalwarts, for instance, are largely Protestant, but also include Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and others.
Among the highly religious groups, the religious identity profiles of Sunday Stalwarts and God-and-Country Believers are very similar. Majorities in each group are Protestant, and evangelical Protestantism constitutes the single largest religious tradition in both groups. Compared with Sunday Stalwarts, God-and-Country Believers include more Catholics (24 percent vs. 13 percent) and religiously unaffiliated Americans (8 percent vs. 1 percent), and somewhat fewer Mormons (less than 1 percent vs. 5 percent).
Compared with the other two highly religious groups, the Diversely Devout include fewer Protestants and more unaffiliated people, often called “nones.” (“Nones” is an umbrella category composed of U.S. adults who identify, religiously, as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular.” All of the “nones” among the Diversely Devout, however, are people who describe their current religion as “nothing in particular.”)
A majority of the Solidly Secular (76 percent) and Religion Resisters (71 percent) are unaffiliated, including one-in-five in each group who describe themselves as agnostic. Religion Resisters are more likely than the Solidly Secular to describe their religion as “nothing in particular” (45 percent vs. 23 percent), while the Solidly Secular are more likely than Religion Resisters to describe themselves as atheists (31 percent vs. 6 percent).
Like the highly religious groups, the somewhat religious groups are mostly composed of Christians. There are more evangelicals among the Relaxed Religious than among the Spiritually Awake (25 percent vs. 16 percent), and more religious “nones” among the Spiritually Awake than among the Relaxed Religious (30 percent vs. 17 percent).
One other finding that church leaders might find interesting: Outside of the Sunday Stalwarts, relatively few Americans–even those who otherwise hold strong religious beliefs–frequently attend religious services or read scripture.
$3.8 Billion Paid Out to Abuse Victims by Catholic Church
The scandal involving children suffering sexual abuse at the hands of priests has tarnished the Catholic Church in countless ways. But one stain is measurable—the amount of money the Catholic Church has paid to its victims.
In a new report from BishopAccountability—a nonprofit that tracks abuse allegations within the Catholic Church—the out-of-court settlements and civil suit cases have cost the church a staggering $3.8 billion.
The report states that the organization has documented “settlements involving 5,679 persons who allege sexual abuse by Catholic clergy,” which have been paid through 2009.
Some settlements opt not to state the number of clergy members that were accused, making it difficult to discern just how many clergymen were involved, according to CNN.
The report states that the victims they’ve highlighted “are only one-third of the 15,235 allegations that the bishops say they have received through 2009, and they are only 5 percent of the 100,000 U.S. victims that Fr. Andrew Greeley estimated in a 1993 study.”
The largest single settlement payment that was made occurred in 2007 in Los Angeles, California. According to the report, 221 priests, brothers, lay teachers and other church employees were named by 508 victims, and a grand total of $660,000 was paid to those victims in the settlement.
The reported settlements not only include monetary compensation but also feature non-monetary provisions such as establishing a toll-free victim hotline and victim assistance programs.
BishopAccountability spokesman Terry McKiernan told CNN the number of associated clergy is difficult to calculate because some settlement announcements omit the number of predator priests.
The monies have not gone solely to survivors, McKiernan said. Attorneys get a cut, too. And not all the money comes out of the coffers of the Catholic Church, because the church maintains insurance policies that cover a portion of the settlement payments.
Catholic Church Sex Abuse Victims Are Everywhere
According to the data BishopAccountability has compiled, payouts and claims have been issued across the nation, including in Kentucky, Oregon, Delaware, Alaska, Washington, Iowa, Massachusetts, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, Louisiana, Missouri, Wisconsin, Vermont, Connecticut, Arizona, Rhode Island, New Jersey, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Ohio, New York, Florida and Illinois.
The report follows a Pennsylvania grand jury finding that more than 300 predator priests abused more than 1,000 children in six Catholic diocese in Pennsylvania from the 1940s through the early 2000s.
The report added that the “real number” of abused children might never be known since some secret church records were lost, and victims were afraid to come forward.
The grand jury described the church’s methods as “a playbook for concealing the truth” after FBI agents identified a series of practices they found in diocese files.
A number of other states have since opened investigations into claims of abuse perpetrated by clergy in the Catholic Church.
The scandal has reached all the way to Pope Francis.
Earlier this week, Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano dropped on bombshell on the church saying the Pope has been covering up sexual abuse in the Catholic Church for years and must resign.
The Archbishop served as the papal nuncio (that is, Vatican ambassador) to the United States from 2011-2016, and claims he personally told Pope Francis about sexual sins by high ranking priests in 2013.
Help! We Have an Unruly Kid and Nothing Works. What Do We Do?
It can be so frustrating when you have one kid or a couple of kids that disrupt the entire group. Everything you’ve learned about classroom management has been tried and the kid is still out of control. I understand. Sometimes you feel like it’s you and perhaps you just need to resign from working with kids.
Does any of this sound familiar? This might be the kid that
- Stands on the chair
- Spills the glass of water—every time
- Rushes through whatever project is set up and leaves the area looking like a tornado hit it
- Gobbles all of the snacks and laughs when there isn’t enough for others
- Never walks but always runs through the room and zooms through the hallways
- Talks through every video, Bible story and discussions
Oh yes, I get the picture. This child just doesn’t fit in your church group. First of all I want to encourage you to not give up. You see you may be the only one that can get through to this child or these children. It is a slow process but it can be done.
Allow me to tell you a story. I had a friend in ministry who moved to a different part of the country. She decided she wanted to minister to the street kids in her area. She set up her room with all these fun activities and invited these kids to come. She had no problem getting the kids to attend, but everything she tried the first couple sessions was disastrous. She was sure no one had gotten the biblical concept she was trying to teach. She said she was very close to tears after the first couple of sessions.
We talked, she vented and then we started analyzing the situation.
- Every child came from a single parent home.
- Most of the kids were way below the reading level for their age.
- If they could read they had no comprehension of what they had just read.
- Most were below their age level in social skills.
- They were “hyperactive” to say the least.
- They had street smarts but had no idea how to act in a church setting.
You may be saying, “Oh I don’t have kids like that in my church groups.” If you only have one child like the ones in my friend’s group you need to understand the issues causing the problems.
First: Stop and think through each child’s situation. If it is a child of divorce or a child in a dysfunctional family or a family in crisis think through what the child is facing on a daily basis. Sometimes simply understanding helps.
Second: Determine if the child is under undue stress. If so this child can’t think, analyze, organize or even connect the dots when listening to a story. Read some of the articles on stress.
Third: If the child doesn’t feel safe, which most kids of divorce and in family crisis face for the first few years afterwards, then you will need to help him or her feel safe before you can address any discipline situations. Use the Safekeeper concept.
Fourth: Form a personal relationship with this child. Call him or her by their name each time you address them. Learn their last name and find out whom they live with most of the time.
My friend reassessed everything she was doing.
- She figured out her stories and concepts were way over the street kids’ heads.
- She backtracked and brought the level down.
- On certain games instead of having the kids walk or race to the other side, she had them crawl. (Crawling actually helps with their reading and comprehension.)
- For every project or activity she thought how she might set it up for younger kids and then she proceeded to fashion it for the kids that were delayed in many areas of their lives.
What you can do
- Think through how you might take the time to have someone explain the story to the troubled child.
- If possible bring the level down for the entire group. To accommodate the other children who get it, throw in a few concepts or terms they will grasp.
- Think through projects and games.
1. Perhaps there is too much noise or confusion going on.
2. Perhaps someone needs to explain or model the rules of game.
3. Sometimes we forget that for a game we do on a regular basis we might have a child who doesn’t get to come on a regular basis and they might not understand the rules.
What happened in my friend’s group? These kids loved coming to church! They learned more about Jesus that anyone had anticipated they could. They brought their friends. They fell in love with my friend and they formed relationships.
This article originally appeared here.
8 Phases of Moving Guests From Anonymity to Community at Your Church
What is the process by which guests transition from unfamiliarity with your church to becoming raving fans? How do they move through those phases, and how are we helping them at every step along the way?
Understanding how guests transition along the spectrum from stranger to advocate for the church is important for us as we build our programs and processes.
I’m a firm believer that churches need to think in steps, not programs. We need to think about how we’re moving people from where they are to where we want them to be, and if everything we do doesn’t help them make one step closer on that path, we need to reevaluate what’s working and what’s not.
In this post, I’ve attempted to outline what I think are the eight phases that every guest who comes to our church needs to move through, in order to transition from complete anonymity to deep community.
Awareness of your church
Frankly, I think most of our churches stumble on this very first phase. The reality is that most people in our neighborhoods don’t know we exist. Don’t believe me? Go to the gas station down the road, pretend you’re from out of town, and ask them a simple question. Say, “Hey, what do you know about that church down the road? We’re thinking about going there this weekend. What do you know about them?” I think you might be shocked at what people say. (I know I was at first—I’ve been performing this exercise over the years I’ve spent visiting churches.) There have been instances where I have been directly across the street from a church and when I asked that question, the people at the gas station either didn’t know the church existed or knew it was there but had no idea what actually went on inside.
Potential guests need to know that your church exists. This should be pretty obvious, but my personal research has proven otherwise! How are you building awareness of your church in your community? What are you doing to get your people out of their seats and into the streets so that folks in your town know that your church exists? If people are unaware of your church, they can’t ever take a step inside the door.
What can you do in the next 30 days to help build awareness of your church within your immediate community?
Needs acknowledgment
People come to your church because they have a need they’re looking to fill. Now, I know there are people reading this post who are already rolling their eyes and thinking, “Oh, once again, here we are with attractional-driven churches simply trying to scratch an itch that people have.” But the reality is people only take action on things that they perceive will make a difference in their life. What is the need that those who are coming to your church are looking to fill?
It might be that they need help with their marriage or maybe they’re concerned with parenting, but they might also have questions about their faith or be wrestling with some other life issues. If people in your community don’t have self-acknowledged needs, they won’t take action on coming to your church. This is important to understand as church leaders because we need to position ourselves early in the communication process around the problems our community is dealing with. What are the pain points that people are looking to us to solve? If we’re not clear in the way we communicate our awareness of on-going issues, when people have those pains or needs in their lives they won’t realize that we’re the ones that can help them with that problem.
Look at the way you communicate about your church externally. How are you communicating about problems that you are able to help people solve?
Arrival…then buyer’s remorse!
In this phase, two things are happening at the exact same time. People arrive at your church and at that same moment they have “buyer’s remorse.” They’re already wondering, Did I do something wrong by coming here? Should I turn around and go home?
Churches that focus on connecting with guests from the parking lot all the way through the service are keenly aware of the fact that when people arrive on your campus they are already considering leaving, even before the service starts.
What are we doing at that moment of arrival to connect with our guests and provide them with whatever they need? Are we at least indicating to them that we’re able to help them with their needs? This arrival experience is a critical juncture because it’s the first time that people have made a physical movement toward us, and we need to both acknowledge and thank people for making that step. At this phase, offering gifts to first-time guests is entirely appropriate as a reward for making the right step and to acknowledge the fact that they made a connection with your church.
Does your team receive people in such a way to counteract “buyer’s remorse” that guests may feel the moment they first arrive at your location?
First connection
Once people have arrived at your church, at some point they will identify themselves. Between the last phase and this one, they may have already visited multiple times, but until they reach out and introduce themselves they are not moving closer to connection. During this phase, our guests still refer to the church as “your” church. They do not yet see it as a place they’re a part of but rather as someone else’s community that they periodically attend.
It might be that a friend brought them, and they decided to fill out a contact card and get the free gift that they heard about in the lobby. Don’t fumble the ball here. It’s important that when people reach out we’re there to receive and respond to that connection.
As soon as people raise their hands to say, “I am here,” they’ve moved a step closer to community. They go from being part of the invisible mass to signaling that they would like to make a deeper connection. We live in an age where people don’t freely give out their contact information, so ensure that you are ready to receive their intention well! To make this step as clear and obvious as possible needs to be a prime concern for your church and your leadership.
How does your church regularly invite people to move from being a part of the invisible mass to identification?
Acclimate
Once people have made a connection with the church, their next step is to acclimate to what it means to be a part of the church. This looks different in various churches. Church of the Highlands has done an incredible job with the growth track experience, providing easy on-ramps on a regular basis to get people plugged in. North Point has its GroupLink process, which regularly attempts to move people from their seats into the smaller circles of small groups.
The goal of the acclimation phase is to move people from referring to the church as someone else’s church and to refer to it as “their” church. They get clarity on what it means to be a part of the church on a regular basis and begin to feel it is the kind of place they want to be a part of.
What process do you have in place to see people “know and be known” at your church?
Needs met
People came to your church hoping that it would meet a need. Usually, it won’t happen right away. In fact, it might take months or years to meet that original need. Sometimes their need is met without them even consciously acknowledging that it was the reason they came in the first place. People might have originally come to your church for community and after a few years once they feel a deep sense of community and friendship, that need is checked off their list.
But don’t miss this: If the church doesn’t meet those needs, eventually those visitors will opt out and no longer attend. They took the step to visit your church because they hoped the church would help meet the needs they were wrestling with. Understanding why people arrived at your church and then asking them, “Is that need being met?” is an important element in moving people from anonymity to community.
How can you challenge people to acknowledge why they came to your church in the first place? Are you asking people if this experience is living up to their expectations?
7 Ways Leaders Can Create Unity in Small Groups
I once consulted with a church struggling to move forward. The pastor had been there a couple years, had a great vision and was supported by most everyone, there were adequate resources, the community needed a healthy church (as all do), but they never could get any traction.
In working with the church, I quickly assessed they had a unity problem. The church had two dominant factions—mostly split over a denominational issue. I felt like a genius consultant when I uncovered the root problem, but the truth is I only discovered what they already knew—yet never admitted.
The challenge wasn’t discovering the problem, however, it was in finding solutions. The church needed to come together if there was any hope to move forward and realize all the opportunities God was sending their way.
It should be noted—this church was united around the Gospel. They wanted to see people come to know Christ. They were divided by lesser issues. If a church can’t rally around making disciples of Jesus Christ—our core purpose—it will be near impossible to unite on anything else. Jesus said, “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand” (Mark 3:24). This church’s disunity could be solved, in my opinion, with proper leadership.
So how do you create unity in a church?
Here are seven ways to create unity in a church:
Avoid the core DNA when making changes
There are some things which are not worth changing—especially until unity returns. It makes no sense to create further disunity in an area where the church is already unified. For example, if the church is overwhelmingly supportive of Sunday school, but you are a proponent of small groups, don’t try to make the change now (if ever) until unity is achieved. (If the core DNA is divisiveness, harder decisions regarding the vitality and future of the church should be made.)
Find common ground
What do people agree upon? As noted previously, this should be the Gospel, but what about its methodology is commonly embraced? Again, maybe it’s Sunday school, but perhaps it’s reaching the community’s lower income families. It could be a ministry of adoption or homelessness. There are probably numerous ministries or interests within the church about which everyone is passionate. Find some and pour energy into them. The more of these you can identify and rally people around, the more unified the church will become. The key is you must work toward a common mission if there is any hope of bringing unity.
Plan group activities
This can be an ice cream social or a ministry opportunity to one of the common issues, but it should be something which will involve people from both sides of the divide. It would be best if you could get someone from each faction to the planning table for these events. Most likely there are some who, though they have chosen a “side” to support, are mature enough they can work with someone of a different opinion to plan a function.
One activity I did with the church mentioned above was to lead them to plan a mission project together. I mixed the teams with people who were on opposite sides of the dividing issue. We made it fun and engaging. It was good to see the teams laugh together. I think it was a step toward unity.
Celebrate success
There is something about celebrating that brings people together. Find small wins and celebrate them. Celebrate the things people can agree upon. Often this will be the history of the church or the heart the church has for missions or ministry.
Challenge the few objectors
There are usually a few people who are naturally divisive. This number is usually smaller than it appears, but these people are critical of everything and usually bring down the morale of others and the church. You may have to pull them aside, ask them to cooperate, and, if they will not, work to remove them from power. (This could obviously be the subject of another blog post, but a necessary part of creating unity.) The unity and vision of the church is more important than appeasing those whose only mission is to disrupt.
Embrace the influencers
Just as there are a few who are negative, there are usually a few who are positive about unity and who have influence over others. I believe in the “each one reach one” practice. Spend time with these influencers, help them understand the importance of unity, then encourage and release them to help shape an atmosphere and culture of unity, one person at a time. Keep these natural influencers and encouragers close and informed and empower them to help create unity.
Communicate effectively
Communication is always important, but especially during times of disunity. Information must flow freely and often. When people don’t have information, they assume you are keeping it from them intentionally. Keep people informed and they feel more like they are part of the team and the vision.
Of course, communication includes preaching. This may be a season to plan a sermon series around something everyone needs and can agree upon; such as prayer or missions. Even leading the church to pray together for a set period of time about a common goal.
Obviously every situation is unique. Don’t be ashamed to seek outside help. Creating unity takes time, prayer and hard work. It often involves repentance for things said and done that caused the disunity. Keep in mind the process involves relationships, so it can be messy. Unity will likely involve people granting forgiveness and releasing the right to have things their way. Depending on the severity of the division in the church, these issues should certainly be shaping your teaching during this time. It may be subtle or more direct, but certainly deliberate.
Finally, for an illustration purpose, you might treat the process as you would if you were counseling a couple, only on a larger scale, of course. Identifying the underlying problems and offering small, steady steps to improving the relationships before you address the issues of division will help create unity.
I should point out this is not a guarantee. Churches can sometimes be their worst enemy and some churches are simply toxic. (That’s a sad reality, but true.) And, this is much easier when a pastor is new, but I believe the process—or a process like this—can work even for a tenured pastor. And, prayerfully-guided leadership is the key.
This article originally appeared here.
How to Help Kids Attack the Number One Lie They Hear
In the previous article, I proposed that the most destructive lie our kids routinely hear from the world involves the encouragement to live under their own authority, to be their own god.
At the core of so many messages our kids hear in the media, movies, music, politics and television resides a focus on individualism. The John 3:16 of the world is “be true to yourself,” and “you do you.” A life of individual autonomy (or “self-rule”) is the essence of all sin, which Adam and Eve believed in the Garden.
We want to do everything we can to deconstruct to our children the emptiness of living a life of individual autonomy—not to win an argument, but in order to deliver our kids from the inherent loneliness and anxiety that naturally result from living life on our own terms.
Jesus says that a life of individual self-determinism robs, kills and steals our joy. He says in John 10 that the most satisfying, abundant life a person can live is found in a sheep/shepherd relationship with him, where he governs our lives as we submit to him.
So how do we practically teach our children to recognize this fallacy of self-rule and instead submit to the gracious leadership of God?
Here are five strategies for going to war with the lie of individual autonomy.
1. You were made by God and, therefore, are accountable to God.
There is a reason that opponents of Christianity are so desperate to affirm a macroevolutionary worldview, where human origins are explained through non-divine, purely scientific explanations. At times, we see proponents of macroevolution argue in a manner that more resembles dogmatic religion than scientific investigation.
Macroevolution possesses such importance in the world’s mindset because if no God made you, then you are not accountable to a creator. If you are not accountable to a creator, then to whom do you answer? Yourself. Thus, individual autonomy becomes the most reasonable (or at least, desirable) worldview.
It’s important to make clear to students the direct link between their creation by God and the inherent accountability derived from this reality. Regardless of how God made the world, young people need to know that God is the author of their life and creation. This means they are accountable to him, and he desires for them to live under his authority.
2. Teach sin in theological terms (not just behavioral ones).
Too often, especially with kids, we teach sin purely in terms of behavioral mistakes. Sin equals lying, cheating, stealing, drinking, etc. Indeed, in one sense we define sin as a behavioral violation of God’s law. Simultaneously, we also understand sin in theological or spiritual terms as trying to live life independently from God.
As I mentioned in the previous article, the Bible depicts the essence of sin as unbridled human autonomy and trying to “be like God.” Conversely, Christian faithfulness fundamentally involves repenting from self-rule and following Jesus as the Lord of our lives.
When kids understand sin both in behavioral and spiritual terms, they have a greater ability to recognize the problematic messages of individualism, which are continually thrust upon them. When they hear mantras like “be true to yourself” and “you do you,” they will be able to discern that these messages directly contradict the way of Christ.
3. Teach salvation not just as forgiveness but also as lordship.
Evangelicals frequently present Christian conversion as asking Jesus to forgive your sins…period. You pray a prayer, God secures your soul for eternity, and that’s the end of the story. In reality, true Christian repentance begins with asking Jesus to forgive your sins AND—very importantly—to be both your Savior and your Lord.
True repentance involves an overhaul of authority within your own life. Before a person becomes a believer, they live as their own lord. However, when Jesus comes into their life, a person leaves a life of independence and now lives under the authority of God.
If a child conceives of Christian salvation as simply praying a prayer, then he or she will not recognize that exhortations to live a life of individual autonomy directly conflict with the essence of their salvation. Even when we talk to kids who have a relationship with Christ, we must continually remind them that their conversion means Jesus is the king of their life. Furthermore, we must tell them that both their own flesh and the world will encourage them to revert to a life of individual autonomy, which subverts the abundant life which Jesus promises his followers.
4. Incorporate this teaching into discipline in your house and ministry.
Is it really that big of a deal that your child did not clean up his or her room or failed to cut the grass? Do we need to make an issue of teenagers being out of their room 10 minutes after curfew? The answer to these questions calls for parents and youth pastors to rely on God’s wisdom for the individual child and situation. However, the reason we discipline kids for violating “little rules” and boundaries in our homes and churches is because they need to learn to submit to God-given authority.
Two wise parents in my church, Rita and Drew, always point back to undermining individual autonomy when they teach younger parents about discipline. When their children violated the rules and boundaries, the discipline always involved explaining to the child that they must live under God’s authority and rules. They would tell the child that living under one’s own rules and authority is dangerous and self-destructive. The bottom-line lesson when Rita and Drew disciplined their kids was to help them understand the need to submit to and rely on God and his word.
I would encourage parents and youth pastors to use situations that need discipline as opportunities to teach this core message of the Christian life. We don’t just correct our kids “because I said so.” We discipline them so that they will know that we cannot live a self-directed life; we must humbly rely on and follow Jesus. God wants this for us, because he knows it is our only means of true peace and satisfaction.
5. Illustrate the destruction and insanity that lie at the philosophical end of human autonomy.
Taken to its logical conclusion, human autonomy—most commonly played out as moral relativism (we all make our own rules)—is intellectually bankrupt and philosophically insane. How does a world function when billions of sets of rules and value systems try to coexist? What’s the moral and philosophical recourse when a girl stealing your wallet is just “being true to herself”? What’s the argument when a guy hooking up with your friend and never calling her again fits neatly within his personal moral framework?
Chaos and anarchy are the end result of unbridled individual autonomy. May we unabashedly condemn the stupidity and destructiveness of this belief system. At the same time, we must own that every human being—Christian and non-Christian alike—espouses human autonomy in our flesh. No person walks away from individual autonomy as their default mode, except by the grace of God. We all eat from the same tree of self-sufficiency as our ancestors, Adam and Eve. In other words, we clearly condemn the thought process behind individualism, while admitting that we Christians are equally guilty of embracing it whenever we do not walk in the Spirit. (Lord knows I am the worst.)
This article originally appeared here.
The Strength That Brings Destruction
From the world’s perspective, strength is a universally and undisputedly positive quality. It’s admired in every realm of life—from the successful business leader to the Olympic athlete. And it brings with it the utmost honor and prestige.
Yet, when it comes to our spiritual health and fruitfulness, strength can very quickly become our greatest enemy. Whether you are a pastor, business leader, father, mother or young person, no one is immune from the natural tendency to rely on our own strength. Rather than humble dependance on God, we choose to rely on our own wisdom, or previous success, or mere resilience in the face of adversity.
But God’s word reminds us all that we must stay weak. If we choose to forsake His way in this, we do so to our own destruction.
A Royal Example
It was said of the leadership of King Uzziah, the 10th king of Judah, “the Southern Kingdom was raised to a condition of prosperity that it had not known since the death of Solomon.“ Uzziah became king at 16 years of age after the assassination of his father. The Bible recounts, “And he did what was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah had done” (2 Chronicles 26:4). As a result, “God helped him” (26:7) against Judah’s strong enemy armies and “his fame spread as far as the entrance of Egypt, for he became exceedingly strong” (26:8). His army grew to 300,750 troops who “made war with mighty power, to help the king against the enemy“ (26:13). “So his fame spread far and wide, for he was marvelously helped till he became strong” (26:15).
Becoming Strong
Notice that last phrase again; God helped him “until he became strong.” Now look at the next statement in the biblical account: “But when he was strong his heart was lifted up, to his destruction, for he transgressed against the LORD his God.” Clearly, Uzziah’s power and achievements went to his head. He noticed that the pagan kings of Egypt enjoyed both the royal and the priestly functions. Uzziah, dissatisfied with royal power, now wanted divine power like the other kings of the other religions. However, Egypt’s gods were not the same as the Holy One of Israel, who required that only the consecrated priests offer up the incense in the temple service. Still, Uzziah entered the Temple to burn the priestly incense with complete disregard for God’s standards.
The Bible tells us that “Azariah the priest with 80 other courageous priests of the LORD” confronted Uzziah, saying, “Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the LORD God” (26:17 & 18). Angered by their resistance and undaunted by their words, the king proceeded in his headstrong disregard for things holy. Immediately, he was stricken with leprosy and left the temple to live the rest of his life in shame as a lonely leper.
Four Signs That You Are Too Strong
As we review Uzziah’s gracious rise to prominence and his tragic forfeiture of God’s blessing, what can we learn? I see four lessons:
Loss of godly counsel – 2 Chronicles 26:5 tells us one of the secrets of Uzziah’s success: “He sought God in the days of Zechariah, who had understanding in the visions of God; and as long as he sought the LORD, God made him prosper.” Uzziah enjoyed the godly counsel of a prophet who instructed him in the fear of the Lord. Somewhere along the line, it appears that Zechariah died and Uzziah took a tragic turn to pride and self-will. Like Uzziah, we all need to pursue and accept the godly counsel of wise mentors during the course of our entire life. We never get beyond the blessing of courageous, biblical wisdom. If we do, we fail. Who are the “Zechariahs” in your life today? How often do you seek their advice? Do you comply?
Lack of accountability – Uzziah’s selfish aspirations soon overpowered his spiritual accountability. He even rebuffed the warnings of 81 godly priests. Power and fame can have that impact on people. They begin to believe they can “break the rules” and get away with it. Learn from Uzziah. No one ever gets so successful, famous or powerful that he can play “fast and loose” with God’s holiness and get away with it. How willing are you to submit to godly counsel when it goes against what you want or think you deserve?
Love for perceived privileges – Psalm 62:10 warns, “If riches increase, do not set your heart on them.” Like seawater, power and affluence demand that you keep drinking more, to your own eventual demise. Uzziah could not be content with life in Judah; he wanted what other kings had. Truly, there is always someone out there with more prominence, possessions, talent or toys. Godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). Discontent can undermine our godliness and our welfare when we seek privilege over piety. Has God blessed you with more than you deserve? Cherish these blessings humbly. Hold them loosely. Never compare or aspire for more than God grants or wills for you.
Lethargy toward the holiness of God – Ultimately, it seems Uzziah’s success became his idol, completely eclipsing his grasp of the holiness of God. He became more interested in exercising his royal rights than doing what was right in the sight of a holy God.
Uzziah’s success disintegrated in an instant. Fame was replaced by shame. His successful reign as king was permanently corrupted by his ruin.
Yet, God’s holiness remained. This is underscored by the riveting account of Isaiah 6:1-8. You’ve read it before. With the context fresh on your mind, read it again, carefully please…
“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!’ And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.
“So I said: ‘Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.’ Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said: ‘Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, and your sin purged.”
“Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I! Send me.’”
At the root of our self-destructive self-reliance is the disregard for a holy God. Uzziah hardened his heart toward holiness. Isaiah humbled his heart before God’s holiness. Uzziah chose calamity. Isaiah received cleansing. Uzziah experienced a fall. Isaiah received a call.
God is holy. Now the choice is yours. Stay weak.
This article originally appeared here.
Beth Moore: This Will ‘hamstring’ Your Ability to Parent
In this brief clip from her teaching Beth Moore Parenting With Guts, Beth asks some soul-searching questions of parents.
In one of the more intense passages of Scripture, we are told a story of a time King David failed miserably on multiple levels as a parent. A lack of discernment left his daughter open to a debilitating sexual assault, and then David’s lack of action afterward left one son dead and another estranged (a separation which set into motion even more severe suffering and death in the years ahead). Beth Moore argues that David’s failure as a parent in these instances stemmed from a crushing burden of shame David felt over past sexual sin.
Beth Moore parenting asks how many of us modern-day parents have also been “hamstrung by shame” and allowed it to affect our ability to parent.
We “need to know what to do with how we feel,” Moore says in a clip taken from a teaching section she recorded on LIFE Today with James Robison.
In the short clip, Moore explains what she believes happened to David in the passage 2 Samuel 13. Years before, Moore explains, alluding to David’s taking Bathsheba from her husband Uriah, and then having Uriah killed, David sinned sexually. He repented for his actions, and we are assured that God forgave David, yet Moore says she believes David allowed the shame he felt to make him believe he had “lost the right to call sin a sin.”
So, when Tamar was raped by her half-brother, Amnon, David was immobilized by the lingering shame he felt over his own sexual sin. All he did, we are told, when he learned of the rape, was get mad. And, as Moore points out, simply getting mad and not acting did nothing for anyone’s good. Tamar’s brother, Absalom, watched David’s inaction and grew increasingly angered himself. A couple years later, Absalom had Amnon killed while Tamar languished in his household, having been reduced to a “desolate woman”. After the murder of Amnon, Absalom fled to a neighboring kingdom. Years later, he would conspire against David in an attempt to take the throne.
What David should have realized, Moore says, is that once he repented, he had “won back the right” to call out sin for what it is and reclaimed authority over his home. David could have said “Even if I did it wrong, this is what God says is right. And it is still what I’m going to insist upon to the degree I am able in my own house.” In fact, Moore says Amnon should have been incarcerated, which David had the power to facilitate.
In Beth Moore parenting, she says especially in the area of sexual sin, parents are allowing the shame of past sin to incapacitate them from correcting their own children when they need it. And my goodness they need it sometimes. If David had corrected Amnon, he might not have met an untimely death. He might have repented and lived a fruitful life. If David had called out the violent act Amnon committed against Tamar, perhaps she would have been able to heal. And perhaps David wouldn’t have had to fight a crippling civil war to reclaim his throne from a bitter and wounded son who also met an untimely end.
So what about you, mom and dad—is there a particular area you feel inadequate to parent in? For the sake of your children and their children, take a moment to ask yourself: What do I need to bring before the Lord today?
Pastors: If You Think Your Paycheck Is Shrinking, You’re Right
Pastors aren’t enjoying the fruits of a booming American economy.
A new GuideStone Financial Resources and LifeWay Christian Resources survey finds compensation for full-time Southern Baptist pastors and church staff has lagged behind the growth in the cost-of-living over the past two years.
In addition, the 2018 SBC Church Compensation Study found that health insurance coverage remains low.
The biannual study took data collected anonymously from ministers and office/custodial personnel of Southern Baptist churches and church-type missions.
It found compensation (salary plus housing) increased 3.8 percent for full-time, Southern Baptist senior pastors over the last two years, 1.5 percent for full-time staff ministers and 2.3 percent for full-time office personnel. The U.S. Department of Labor’s Consumer Price Index (CPI-U) for the same two-year period increased 4.6 percent.
“After a period of very low inflation, the cost of living has moved closer to typical growth in consumer prices,” said Scott McConnell, executive director of LifeWay Research. “Churches that are unable to reflect this in their wages will hurt their staff.”
Churches reported several factors affected salaries including weekly church attendance, education level and total years of experience. Larger churches tend to pay their pastors more, the study shows. For every additional 100 attendees, an otherwise similar pastor’s compensation is on average $3,641 higher.
Pastors who spent more time in school also saw a bump in their paychecks. Those with a bachelor’s degree earn an average of $5,681 more than similarly qualified pastors with no college education or an associate degree. Master’s and doctorate degrees correspond with compensation increases of $5,754 and $10,868, respectively, when compared to college graduates.
Falling even further behind the pace of inflation was the entire pay package (salary, retirement, housing and other benefits including insurance). Senior pastors saw a 4.4 percent increase, slightly under the pace of inflation. However, the growth in pay packages for full-time staff ministers and office personnel was much lower (1.3 percent and 1.5 percent respectively).
“We have always endeavored to ensure churches take proper care of their staff,” said Greg Love, who provides leadership for the church retirement relationship team at GuideStone.
“A church can maximize its limited resources by implementing a sound, structured compensation plan and not a lump-sum payment. This enables the church to provide salaries and suitable benefits for workers and their families, including life and health coverage,” Love said.
“Additionally, it empowers the church to provide highly important retirement contributions to ministry workers. These significant tasks can be accomplished as the church navigates smart financial stewardship, equips believers for ministry and strives for Kingdom impact.”
The survey found 23 percent of churches pay for medical insurance for the senior pastor and his family, 17 percent provide for the pastor and his wife, and 9 percent provide only for the pastor. Half of churches provide no medical coverage.
A final category in the survey was vacation time. A number of factors also impact those numbers. Larger churches tend to give pastors more vacation, with otherwise similarly qualified pastors averaging one additional day for every 271 attendees. Vacation also varies slightly by region. Pastors in the South tend to receive less vacation with 1.8 fewer days on average than otherwise comparable pastors in the Northeast, 0.8 fewer days than those in the Midwest, and 1.1 fewer days than those in the West.
Are Chinese Officials Behind Closure of This Beijing Church?
The crackdown on Christian churches in China continues and now it appears to have claimed one of Beijing’s largest unofficial Protestant “house” churches.
The Zion church has operated with relative freedom for years, hosting hundreds of worshippers every weekend in an expansive, specially renovated hall in north Beijing.
Last April, that “freedom” began to shrink when government authorities asked the church to install 24 closed-circuit television (CCTV) cameras in the building for “security,” Zion’s head pastor, Jin Mingri, told Reuters.
Mingri refused, saying cameras in a sanctuary are not appropriate. Pastor Mingri and his congregants may have also feared what government officials, who are showing growing hostility towards Christians, would do with video evidence of who attends services.
The Chinese government says greater oversight of religious activities is needed in order to regulate believers and facilitate worship, as well as to prevent foreign forces from influencing China’s internal affairs using the guise of religion.
So it’s not surprising that when Zion refused the request to place cameras in the sanctuary, police and state security agents started harassing churchgoers, calling them, visiting them, contacting their workplace and asking them to promise not to go to church, according to statements from the church and interviews with attendees, as reported by Reuters.
Some suggest the government is now making sure the church shuts down.
The Zion church, which occupies an office building floor that was previously a nightclub, is now being evicted despite previous verbal assurances from its landlord that it could rent the location until 2023, Jin said. Reuters said the landlord could not be reached for comment.
Jin does not expect to be able to find a landlord that would rent the church another suitable location.
Other churches have experienced similar harassment. In addition to being asked to install security cameras, some unofficial churches have been asked by police to take detailed lists of attendee IDs and phone numbers, churchgoers and activists say.
Some who push back have been visited by police and asked to switch places of worship to officially sanctioned churches, they added.
China’s constitution guarantees religious freedom, but since President Xi Jinping took office in 2012, Beijing has tightened restrictions on religions seen as a challenge to the authority of the ruling Communist Party.
The new regulations have increased government pressure on the churches to “sinicize”—to be culturally Chinese and submit to oversight from the Communist Party—but many have resisted, saying this would be a fundamental betrayal of their faith.
“House churches believe that our spiritual needs and the content of our faith is ruled over by God,” Pastor Jin said.
“What we need is the freedom to believe. Without this, it is not real faith.”
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