Newsletters
Home Blog Page 1032

If You Want Your Church to Grow, Consider These 4 Factors

By
Ricahard Varnell
-
communicating with the unchurched

All pastors are interested in getting your church to grow. At the age of 23, I had graduated from college with a Bachelor of Arts degree in religion, and I was ready to pastor. My first church was 12 years old and I was the 13th pastor! The church averaged 33 people and the monthly income was $375. My salary was $15 a week plus a parsonage in which to live. I wish I could tell you that the church experienced phenomenal growth. However, my church growth skills were limited to working hard and staying there five years. I made mental observations regarding why some churches were growing and others were not. Four observations, in particular, stood out.

My first observation about getting your church to grow is focused on children’s ministry.

Each church that focused on children’s ministry was growing. They did not view children’s ministry as an appendage of the church, but as important to its whole operation. The correlation between church growth and the health of the children’s program was at least two-fold. First, growth in a local church generally has to do with attracting young families with children. Second, reaching children is a theological concept. Jesus was concerned about caring for children and he placed them as a high priority in his own ministry.

My second observation about getting your church to grow is that churches were not implementing normal business practices.

For instance, of the 150 churches that I visited, only two acknowledged my attendance or the gift that I made in the offering. Each time I visited a church, I would place a gift, by way of a check, in the offering. I knew the church bookkeepers would know I was a first-time giver because they would have to record my gift. Only two churches contacted me.

I conducted a survey and called 100 churches during normal business hours and asked one question: “What time is your Sunday morning service?” Fifty percent of the churches either did not answer their phone or answered with some type of phone answering device. Of the 50 churches that did answer their phone, only one followed up with any additional information. They did not ask if I needed help with directions or try to engage me in any type of conversation to draw me into their church. While half the churches did answer their phones during business hours, almost none answered their phones during a critical time period. Most phone calls from first-time guests are not made during normal business hours, but rather between Saturday afternoon and service time on Sunday morning.

Third, I was amazed at the number of churches that still did not have a website.

The churches that did have a website in many cases were difficult to find. On the other hand, many churches that had a website did not keep the information updated. If a church cannot update their website on a weekly basis, it would be better to provide a more generic website that would not require regular updates.

Fourth, most churches did not have a good program for tracking first-, second- and third-time guests.

Consequently, I began to put together a mental overview of what such a program would include. After explaining my ideas for guest retention to a fellow pastor, he implemented them. Six months later this pastor reported that after putting them into practice his church had grown by 50 percent—from 50 to 75 people in attendance.

This got my attention and began my pilgrimage into church growth.

Excerpted from Let Your Church Grow by Richard Varnell. To find out exactly how Richard is teaching churches to grow, get his book on Amazon.com.

7 Reasons Your Sermons Are Boring

By
Carey Nieuwhof
-
communicating with the unchurched

If there’s one thing you never set out to be as a leader or communicator, it’s boring.

And yet everyone who communicates, preaches or even tries to persuade someone of an idea has discovered that sinking sense that your sermon just isn’t as riveting as it could be. Or that you’re dull. Even when you’re preaching the Word of God that is anything but dull.

Let me ask you: How exactly does that happen?

It happens for at least seven different reasons.

By the way, I just launched my brand new course, The Art of Better Preaching, a 12-part course I developed with Mark Clark, lead pastor of a rapidly growing megachurch in Vancouver B.C. Each weekend for years, Mark and I have preached to thousands of post-modern, post-Christian people.

Hundreds of leaders have already jumped in on the course and (thanks for the suggestion!) we just made it easier than ever, adding a three-part payment plan to make taking the course even easier (it’s still a fraction of the price of any seminary course you’d take). And one of the big questions from early participants? Where was a course like this when I was in seminary?

Check it out here.

But in the meantime, back to the key question. Why are some sermons boring?

Here are seven common reasons why:

1. You’re Actually Bored With the Message

Oh, I know, let’s start by going right for the heart.

But let’s be honest: Have you ever preached a message you were bored with?

Looking back, I have.

So why would you ever preach a boring message?

Well, there’s the pressure of Sunday morning. You’re scrambling to get a message done and you just didn’t linger long enough over it to make it pop.

Another reason you’re bored with a message is that you haven’t yet figured out why it matters. We’ll look at that in more detail below.

If you sense you’re bored with a message, make that a hard stop. Don’t move forward until your message engaged you. 

I promise you this. Preachers, if you’re bored with the message you’re delivering, your audience will be too.

So what do you do if you’re bored with the message? Move on to point two and ask yourself “Why does this even matter?”

You need to know why it matters internally, and then you need to explain it to your audience, which will engage them.

2. You Haven’t Explained Why What You’re Saying Matters

Simon Sinek was right, people don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.

Most preachers are really skilled at telling people what they need to know (as in ‘here’s what God’s word has to say to us…”)

But if your message comes across as boring, almost guaranteed you haven’t explained to your listeners why any of it matters.

Why establishes relevance. For example, everyone knows you should eat healthy and exercise, but many don’t anyway. Why change? After all…food tastes good and exercise is hard.

But imagine going to your doctor and learning you are developing Type 2 diabetes and you’re a prime candidate for a heart attack in the next six months. All along, you’ve known the what. But you just got deeply motivated by a why.

Do people think your preaching is boring?

Spend some time explaining why what you’re sharing matters to families, to parents, to kids, to neighbors, to co-workers. Explain how this biblical teaching can change their self-talk, draw them closer to Christ, reduce the conflict in their marriage.

Explaining why something matters makes people lean harder into what you’re going to tell them. So explain the why before you explain the what.

If you think that’s trivial, then ask yourself why God gave us scripture in the first place. Clearly, he thought it mattered. There is a why behind God’s what too.

Find it, and everyone will be more interested in your message. Including you.

3. You’re Answering Questions No-One Is Asking

I’ve seen far too many preachers try to answer questions no-one is asking.

Few people care about the holy day rituals in ancient Israel.

One way to see if you’ve found an obscure topic only you care about is to fill in the blanks on this sentence before preaching: Many of you are struggling with _______________. 

If your answer is “the rhythm and frequency of holy days in ancient Israel” you know you’ve got a yawner on your hands, unless you’re speaking to Old Testament PhD students working on Levitical laws. (In which case you still likely have a yawner on your hands.)

You actually could create a fascinating message around the Holy Day rhythm though if you jump back to point 2 and figure out why it matters.

In fact, exhausted CEOs and parents would probably love to hear a message about rhythm and rest. So would people who never take a day off, or struggle with anxiety and stress.

Still not convinced? Ask yourself why God would want us to spend 1/7 of our life resting and then add a bunch of celebrations in on top of that. An anxious world that’s forgotten God needs to hear that message and wants to hear that message.

The principle here? Deliver what people need to hear in a way they want to hear it.

Often rephrasing the question and uncovering the felt need underneath that will help you get to where you need to go on an issue.

4. You Haven’t Understood or Empathized With Your Audience

There is no such thing as a ‘generic’ audience; you really can’t connect with your audience if you don’t understand them.

Recently I spent some time with a friend talking about a conference we’re both speaking at.

Because I knew the audience better than he did, he spent 40 minutes asking me exactly who would be in the audience, what their hopes and fears are, what they struggle with and how he should approach them.

I was amazed by this for a few reasons.

First, my friend is a multiple New York Times bestselling author and speaks to large influential audiences all the time. If anyone could just waltz in and speak, he could.

Second, even though he has far more offers to speak than he can possibly accept, he is infinitely interested in the audiences he speaks to.

The fact that he’s so in demand, so good at what he does and that he cares deeply about his audience is likely all connected.

The more deeply you care about your audience, the more deeply they’ll care about what you say.

5. You Haven’t Described a Gripping Problem People Want to Solve

The problem with a lot of communication is that it doesn’t start with a problem.

Too often, communicators or writers just start.

Your audience is asking one question: Why should I listen? Why should I read further? I have problems to solve and you’re not helping me.

Counter that explicitly.

I almost always start any talk I’m doing describing a problem people face—at work, at home, in their relationship with God or in their relationship with each other.

How do you do that? Describe the problem in detail: i.e. You’re so frustrated with God because He says he’s a God of love, but you read the Old Testament and beg to differ. And you wonder if you can even trust a God like that.

If you really want people to drill down on the issues, take the next step. Make the problem worse. Describe it in such detail that people are no longer sure there’s a solution to it. Quote an atheist. Explain that God seems cruel, mean and angry.

Then go to your main point, which for argument’s sake might be explaining how he shouldered his own anger on the cross in love.

The idea here is to try to uncover and bring to light every objection people have to the main point you’re trying to make. Think about what they’ll think about driving home (oh yeah, he didn’t deal with X) and then deal with X.

They’ll lean in when you do.

6. You Don’t Personally Own the Message

There was a season when cool church was enough.

But people are tired of slick. They’re suspicious of polish.

One of the keys to authenticity is personally owning everything you say. People want to know you believe what you’re saying.

In a world of spin where so much is sold, people are looking for real.

Be real.

When you own the message—when it comes from the core of who you are—it resonates.

So own your message. Start early…process it. Pray over it. Digest it. And believe it.

That means you’ve processed it deeply enough that it has become part of who are, not just something you say.

7. You’re Relying Too Heavily on Your Notes

In public speaking, people won’t stay nearly as engaged with your message if you’re reading it.

It comes across as a press release. Or a statement someone else prepared. Or something you think they should believe, but you don’t believe yourself.

I know that’s tough for people who are tied to manuscripts.

Please hear me: Reading from your notes doesn’t mean you’re insincere, it just means people often think you are.

So is there help? You bet.

In The Art of Better Preaching we have an entire unit that will train you on how to give a talk without using your notes. And yes, I’ve helped hundreds of leaders do just that. It is more than possible.

Want the heart of it? (There’s much more…but this will get you started.)

It’s this: Don’t memorize your talk. Understand it.

You don’t memorize your conversations before you have them because you understand them.

So understand your next talk.

You can always talk about things you understand.

The original article appeared here.

How and Why I Could Fall

By
Thom Rainer
-
communicating with the unchurched

Over eight years ago I read Crash Course: The American Automobile Industry’s Road from Glory to Disaster by Paul Ingrassia. The book is a fascinating account of the rise and fall of the “Big Three” automakers: General Motors, Ford and Chrysler. Only Ford avoided the ultimate fall of bankruptcy.

I wrote a blog post on the book, much of which is repeated here. It is an amazing reminder of both the pressures and temptations of leadership.

My initial desire was to learn from the lessons of the automobile industry, both the good and the bad. Though most of the book does focus on the enormous missteps of many in the automobile industry, it is fair to give credit where credit is due. For example, in 2006, Bill Ford, holding the multiple titles of Chairman, President and CEO of Ford, understood that his leadership was not getting the job done. So he, in essence, fired himself as President and CEO and brought new leadership to Ford. That move likely was the decisive moment that led the company to avoid bankruptcy.  “I have a lot of myself invested in this company,” Ford explained, “but not my ego.”

Unfortunately, Bill Ford’s actions were the exception and not the rule. Those in management of the Big Three and those in leadership of the union at times demonstrated such lack of leadership that we, in hindsight, wonder how leaders can head down such destructive paths.

The Essence of It All

James B. Stewart’s words on the front jacket of the book tell the essence of the story well: “A fascinating look at how ego and hubris destroyed an industry…” Indeed, of all the leadership lessons learned, the most pervasive and persuasive in the book is that hubris is the downfall of leaders and, thus, their organizations.

I was thus intrigued to follow the lives and leadership paths of these leaders in the book. I quickly saw some clear patterns of leadership infected with hubris.

The Signs of Hubris

My list is not exhaustive, but I do believe it is telling. In each of the corporate leaders’ and union leaders’ lives, the following patterns began to emerge. In them you can see the signs of hubris for any leader.

  1. Leaders with hubris see others as inferior. The rest of the world does not get it. Others are just not as smart. As a result, these leaders do not listen well because others really don’t have anything worthy to say. Leaders with hubris thus lack patience with others. They definitely cannot see their own faults.
  2. Leaders with hubris are slow to see deteriorating conditions in the organizations they lead. The CEO of General Motors declared in a 2007 letter to shareholders: “Our entire team rose up to meet the collective challenges we face.” The letter was written as the two-year losses for GM totaled over $12 billion. Leaders with hubris cannot see conditions getting worse, because they cannot believe such conditions could take place under their leadership.
  3. Leaders with hubris are quick-tempered. Some of the stories of the tempers of union leaders and the leaders of the Big Three are almost unbelievable. Their condescending and demeaning treatment of others reflects their own aggrandized view of themselves. If anyone disagreed with them or got in their way, the self-righteous anger of the leader exploded.
  4. Leaders with hubris expect to be served. The CEOs of the Big Three didn’t get it. They showed up at congressional hearings for bailout money in private corporate jets. Union leaders’ threats of strikes against the car companies garnered the workers such out-of-the-norm benefits that the very existence of the companies they worked for were jeopardized. In both cases, everyone was looking out for themselves, seeking to be served rather than seeking to serve.
  5. Leaders with hubris don’t know when to step down. No person is indispensable to an organization. No leader is indispensable to an organization. We often more quickly recognize our call to a place rather than our call away from a place. Leaders with hubris try to hang on too long.

Looking in the Mirror

As I read the book and as I wrote this post, my mind captured images of past and current leaders whom I thought fit the bill perfectly of leaders with hubris. Then the thought hit me. Leaders with hubris never think they are or will be leaders with hubris. It sure is easy to talk about others who are self-serving egotists. But it is incredibly difficult to accept that I can go down that very same path.

Most of us are familiar with Proverbs 16:18: “Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall” (CSB). But the following verse is not cited as often: “Better to be a lowly spirit with the humble than to divide the plunder with the proud” (Proverbs 16:19).

I must look in the mirror more often and see my own sinfulness and propensity toward hubris. It’s easy to read a book about other leaders who became filled with self and led with hubris. But I must realize even more poignantly that except for the grace of God I too will go down that path.

This article originally appeared here.

Churches Targeted in New Parking Tax

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

A petition opposing a new parking tax on churches and other ministries is quickly gaining signatures. As of Friday afternoon, more than 1,800 people had signed an online petition calling for its repeal.

The new tax was recently uncovered in Tax Cuts and Jobs Act passed by Congress six months ago. The largely hidden provision requires churches and other nonprofits to begin paying a 21 percent tax on employee benefits including parking, transportation and other related benefits. The provision will cause churches that are nonprofits to file federal income tax returns and pay unrelated business income tax on the cost of parking provided to employees. While most benefits affected by the new provision are transportation-related, it will also affect meals provided to workers and in some cases gym memberships.

The petition opposing the tax is being circulated by the the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (EFCA). EFCA explained in a position statement included in the petition seeking to repeal the provision:

“Tax practitioners who have evaluated Section 512(a) (7) generally believe that the result of this new provision is that tax‐exempt organizations that provide parking to their employees will be subject to unrelated business income tax on the cost of the parking provided. A nonprofit organization that simply allows its employees to park in a parking lot or garage that is part of the organization’s facilities will be subject to a tax on the cost of the parking provided.”

New Parking Tax Will Be Costly

EFCA estimates that the cost of compliance for churches and nonprofits could run into the tens of thousands of dollars annually.

Dan Busby, president of ECFA, has noted not only financial, but also administrative burdens connected to this provision. He told Christian Post that to file “a form 990-T that they’ve never even heard of” small churches are going to need costly professional help. “It’s just a ridiculous provision that was put in the law,” he said.

According to EFCA, the new tax appears to have initially escaped the notice of a number of lawmakers who approved the bill, including those who seek to protect the interests of nonprofits. Now several months later, many charitable organizations are still unaware of the tax. For those that are cognizant of the new requirement, there is a great deal of confusion as to how the tax should even be calculated.

Church Parking Tax Meant to Create Parity

In a recent Politico article, House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Kevin Brady (R-TX) defended the provision because it creates “greater parity” between for-profit and nonprofit organizations.

Michael Batts, ECFA Board of Directors chairman and partner in the accounting firm Batts Morrison Wales and Lee, says the parity Brady speaks of eliminates the intent behind easing government burdens on nonprofits. Batts says, “The whole idea of tax exemption for nonprofit organizations that are doing charitable, religious and educational work is for them not to be on the same playing field as for-profit businesses when it comes to taxes, in order to incentivize the good work they do to make our society better.”

The National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) is also critical of the tax. Galen Carey, vice president of government relations, told Politico, “There’s going to be huge headaches. The cost of compliance, especially for churches that have small staffs or maybe volunteer accountants and bookkeepers—we don’t need this kind of hassle.”

In early June, Rep. Michael Conway (R-TX) introduced legislation to kill the tax.

Two-Thirds Find No Moral Problem With Marijuana

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

Thirty states and the District of Columbia have laws broadly legalizing marijuana in some form. Eight states and the District of Columbia have adopted the most expansive laws legalizing marijuana for recreational use.

The changing laws are also bringing into question the morality of using pot

A poll by Gallup, released earlier this month, found nearly two-thirds of Americans say that smoking marijuana is “morally acceptable,” while 31 percent disapprove of pot on moral grounds.  

That’s a sharp increase from a similar study by the Public Religion Research Institute five years ago that found fewer than half of Americans thought it was morally acceptable to smoke marijuana.

According to Gallup, Americans now rate marijuana use similarly to gay and lesbian relations, stem cell research and having a baby outside marriage. It’s seen as significantly more acceptable than medical testing on animals, abortion and pornography. But it’s viewed as less acceptable than alcohol use.

Moral Acceptance of Marijuana Lower Among Churchgoers

The results were dramatically different among weekly churchgoers, according to Gallup, as the moral acceptance of marijuana use dropped sharply to 41 percent.

Likewise, many evangelical leaders have concerns about marijuana use. Trent Hunter, writing for Desiring God, urged Christians to consider five questions before partaking of cannabis:

  1. Is It Legal? Romans 13 is used as a directive to Christians to be honorable and obedient citizens even though laws vary by state and might contradict federal law.
  2. What Will It Do to Me? 1 Corinthians 6:12–20 tells us our bodies were made for God’s glory, and they were bought with a price. For this reason, as with anything we consume, we should want to know what it will do to us. Hunter also points out that “marijuana and alcohol are alike in that they lead to intoxication. But marijuana is unlike alcohol in important ways. Intoxication with marijuana happens quickly, in one to four puffs, and it is highly addictive when compared with alcohol.”
  3. How Will It Affect My Capacity to Love my Neighbor? Hunter asks, “Will this substance enhance my dominion over life so that I may love others well, or will it exercise dominion over me?”
  4. Am I Pursuing It as Medicine or Recreation? Marijuana could rightly be used for medicinal purposes as with other prescribed substances, but Hunter fears many may be tempted to also use it recreationally.
  5. Will We Smoke Pot in Heaven? Hunter says, “Some things won’t be experienced in heaven because Christ died to fulfill them—marriage, for example. But some things won’t be experienced in heaven because Christ died to rescue us from them….Intoxication by marijuana is indeed a thing like drunkenness, and a thing that won’t be with us in the new creation.”

In an article for National Review, David French did not answer the question about the moral acceptance of marijuana directly but used Jesus turning water into wine from the second chapter of John to suggest a moral principle should guide use; whatever you ingest, you must maintain control.  

“I’m always uncomfortable with “how far can I go” conversations,” French writes. “We live in freedom but also against the backdrop of a call to holiness, where “should” trumps “can,” and our lives are ultimately to be lived to the glory of God. Here, however, was my paraphrased answer: To lose control means being unable to fulfill my moral responsibilities. As a husband, father, attorney and officer, I have certain enduring, nondelegable duties. I can’t fail to be available to my kids because I’m drunk or stoned. I can’t dishonor my employer or the uniform because I’m “letting off steam.” If you can’t fulfill your responsibilities, then you’re out of control.

Moral Acceptance of Marijuana an Issue in Oklahoma Vote

Meanwhile in Oklahoma, where voters this week approved the medicinal use of marijuana, a pro-cannabis group used the Bible in it’s campaign.

Yes on 788 quoted a Bible verse to support its cause in a campaign flyer that asked: “How would Jesus Vote?”

The verse used was Genesis 1:29: “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.”

Meanwhile, several Oklahoma Faith Leaders opposed Question 788 saying medical marijuana would be “harmful to the social fabric of Oklahoma.”

Fifty-six percent of Oklahoma voters supported medical marijuana. Not far from Gallup’s findings on the issue.

Four Ways to Combat Mind Wandering

By
Charles Stone
-
communicating with the unchurched

Let’s face it. Our minds wander, constantly. Research indicates that we mind-wander almost half our waking hours. We all have a bit of ADHD in us. That same research tells us that most mind wandering makes us unhappy. Although healthy mind wandering can enhance creativity, most of the time it doesn’t help. So, how can we minimize mind wandering and stay on task? In this post I suggest four practical ways to keep on task and win the mind wandering battle.

Four Ways to Combat Mind Wandering:

First, it’s important to understand why our minds wander. In short, our brain simply tires, and quite quickly. The fancy word for what causes mind wandering is called the neuroenergetic theory.

  1. Our brain cells (neurons) need energy that comes from two kinds of sugars—glycogen, a form of glucose, and and another sugar called lactate.
  2. Neurons get this energy from the brain’s maintenance cells, called glia cells, and specifically from one type of glia cell called an astrocyte.
  3. After 12 seconds of mental effort, our neurons literally begin to run on empty. So, they need more fuel to fire efficiently and maintain focus and attention. They first look for lactate and if they can’t find it, they look for glycogen.
  4. If they can’t fill up with some sugars, they don’t fire effectively, attention suffers, and we mind wander.

So, the key is to keep our brains fueled and alert. How do we do that?

  1. Get enough sleep at night. Sleep actually helps restore the supply of glycogen to the brain’s maintenance cells, the glia. Regular skimping on sleep will reduce this energy source and thus inhibit your ability to stay focused throughout the day. More here about the brain benefits from sleep.
  2. Take a short nap. Napping less than 20 minutes in the middle of the day provides many brain benefits. A nap can enhance memory, improve learning by clearing out information in your brain’s storage area making it ready for new learning, and make us more alert.
  3. Wisely use caffeine. Moderate use of caffeine actually keeps the sleep neurotransmitter (adenosine) from making you sleepy because it mimics it, though without the sleepiness. More here about using caffeine.
  4. Take regular work breaks during the day. Long stretches of work with no breaks diminishes our willpower, reasoning ability, performance and attention. It’s called decision fatigue. Read more about decision fatigue here. Taking breaks does the opposite. Resting your brain will improve creativity, productivity, and focus. I use an app called Time Out to dim my screen every 70 minutes. I then take a short five minute walk and get back to work. It works wonders

So, you can win the mind wandering battle with a few simple choices. Try one of these next week and see what happens.

And, reflect on what this Scripture says about our minds.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. (Is 26.3)

3 Church Media YouTube Tips

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

When most people think of social media influence, they think of Facebook. But there’s another site out that’s also getting a lot of notice: YouTube. That’s a church YouTube presence [which] is essential.

The Pew Research Center recently released the results of its latest survey on the use of the internet and social media among Americans — and the results reveal a healthy generation gap.

Facebook and YouTube remain the leaders in terms of social media consumption. Pew reports that 68 percent of all Americans use Facebook, and three-quarters of those users access the site on a daily basis. Among those under the age of 65, Facebook appears to be a fairly universal platform, with a wide range of demographics represented on the site.

While not a traditional social media site, YouTube does compete with similar sites for user screen time and advertiser dollars. We don’t know the details of YouTube’s financials, but Pew reports that it is doing a good job of capturing user attention. Roughly 74 percent of adults use YouTube (did that redesign help or hurt?), but that number gets even more impressive when looking at the 18-24 demographic. Among younger users, 94 percent of them say they visit YouTube on their computers or smartphones.

And YouTube hits the right age group — and they are influenced by it. In a study commissioned by Defy Media, 63 percent of respondents aged between 13-24 said that they would try a brand or a product recommended by a YouTube content creator, whereas only 48 percent mentioned the same about a movie or TV star. Businesses are taking notice and turning more to common folk than mainstream celebrities to reach millennials. Interestingly, the influence of YouTube stars on younger folks goes well beyond shopping.

This video gives you some ideas for promoting your church on YouTube and promoting the gospel message in unique ways.

5 Rude Behaviors Created by Technology

By
Kevin Thompson
-
communicating with the unchurched

There are 5 rude behaviors created by technology we all need to be aware of.

It really doesn’t bother me. As a public speaker in the 21st century, I’m never surprised when a phone rings in the middle of one of my speeches. It’s part of life. Whereas 20 years ago, it was a great distraction. (“Tell them I’ll call them back,” I would say). Now phones are such a part of every moment of life that it doesn’t faze me. While the person might be embarrassed as they scramble to turn off the ringer, I keep going without missing a beat.

A ringing or dinging phone at the wrong time doesn’t bother us, but there are a series of new behaviors which technology has brought that are troublesome. With every new technology, humanity eases toward the path of least resistance in actions, some of which are completely self-serving at the expense of others. These behaviors are rude. Here are my top five.

5 Rude Behaviors

1. Failing to Make Eye Contact. The simplest of acts is often the most powerful. There is something magical that happens when two human beings make eye contact. Our eyes communicate in a way our words never can. When we fail to make eye contact with another, we are announcing to them that they are not important. We are robbing our interaction of the humanity which it deserves. When I look another in the eye, I’m not only showing them respect, but I am naturally prone to be more compassionate, considerate and loving.

2. Cancelling at the Last Minute. I can never imagine calling a restaurant, asking for a friend, and then explaining to them that I cannot attend the lunch for which they are already present. It would take extreme circumstances. Yet in today’s world, most plans are still questionable until you get a confirmation text moments before a meeting (one that normally says, “I’m running late, but I’m on my way.”) The ability to text removes the physical interaction where I see another person’s frustration or disappointment. Being distanced from their reaction makes it easier for us to be rude because we don’t face any negative consequences of our behaviors.

3. Physically Present, Emotionally Absent. Phones are great shields that we can put up so that we don’t have to interact with others. If you don’t want to reveal your heart or mind to another person, be in their presence but not emotionally present. Have a conversation, but always be looking at your phone. This loudly communicates that you are not willing to engage at this moment.

4. Private Calls in Public Places (and Loud Talkers). Is there anything worse than being crammed on a plane and the woman behind you talking way too loud on her phone about something that doesn’t matter? Phone calls are meant to take place between two people. While it’s natural to slightly overhear some conversations, being forced to listen to one side of a conversation against your will is painful.

5. Ignoring. Probably my biggest pet peeve of technology is the ability to simply ignore communication. If you see me in public and say hello, it’s not socially acceptable for me to ignore you. But some have no problem ignoring a text or email as though it has never been received. Of course, it is possible to overlook a message or to intend to respond later only to forget. However, it is never proper to totally ignore a message and pretend like it didn’t happen. Different communication allows for different response times, but all communication requires some kind of response.

Technology has assisted our lives in many ways. Many friendships which would have long ago faded away are still very present in my daily life solely because technology allows us to stay in touch. It allows for an ease of communication that can be instantaneous and non-invading to our lives. Technology has many benefits, but we must be aware of how its ease will also tempt us toward rude behavior.

The original article appeared here.

How to Create An Amazing Kids’ Worship Night

By
Corinne Noble
-
communicating with the unchurched

I had the God-given dream of creating my first Kids’ Worship Night at the end of 2014, and I’ve written posts on my first couple of Kids’ Worship Nights, which you can take a look at here: Worship Night and Worship Night 2. I recently held the first Kids’ Worship Night at my current church, and it was just as incredible and impactful as it was in my previous ministry. I am honored to have had the opportunity to share a breakout about this life-changing event at the CMConnect Conference this week, and have decided to share my notes on some of the “behind the scenes” details about Kids’ Worship Nights with all of you.

Reasons to Have Kids’ Worship Nights:

  • There is simply not enough time on Sunday mornings for teaching on worship/extended times of worship.
  • Kids don’t understand what it is, why we do it or even how to do it.
  • We have extended worship/altar time at camp once a year; when else are we teaching kids to press into worship?
  • Leaders don’t understand how to lead KIDS into a true worship experience.
  • Leaders/parents don’t realize how much the kids CAN understand/experience God through worship.
  • The adults have worship events where they focus on worship at a different time than Sunday morning to be refreshed, why don’t the kids?

Goals of Kids’ Worship Nights:

  • Give kids the opportunity to have a new and fresh experience in God’s presence through worship.
  • Kids will understand what worship is, and why it is important for them to worship God.
  • Kids will understand that worship isn’t just about singing; there are many ways to worship God.
  • Kids will enter into worship authentically, not just because they see other people doing it.
  • Kids will have the opportunity to ask honest questions about worship in a small group with kids their age.
  • Kids will leave worship night excited about what they have learned, and ready to worship God.
  • Parents will hear about worship night from their kids.
  • Leaders will learn how to lead kids in worship not just with their actions, but with their words.
  • Leaders will leave with a new understanding of how much kids can understand/experience worship at a young age.

Elements of Kids’ Worship Nights

  • More than just worship. Adult worship nights tend to be only worship for more than an hour straight. That isn’t going to work for kids.
  • Free Time: We provide 30 min-1 hr. of free time for the kids when the parents are dropping kids off. This lets the kids play and talk to their friends before going into a more focused night of worship. It also gives a buffer time for parents who drop their kids off late. They won’t miss the important stuff.
  • Large Group Service: Our service includes all ages, K-6th grade.
    • Intro: Set the tone for the night, focusing on worship. Ask the kids what worship means to them. Takeaway statement (what do you want the kids to remember when they leave?).
    • Upbeat worship: We used three songs. We tried to include a couple of songs they would know really well, and a newer song. Don’t do three songs where you have to jump the whole time. You will pass out. At our recent Worship Night we used “This is Our Time” (Planetshakers), “Like a Lion/God’s Not Dead” (Kristian Stanfill) and “This is Living” (Hillsong Young and Free).
    • Skit: (Teaches the kids through a character what worship is.)
    • Game: (Don’t forget the lyrics, worship karaoke, name that worship song.) Make it fun, high energy and interactive.
    • Message: This is the most important part of the service. If we don’t teach kids about worship, they won’t understand it, and it will be of no value to them. I teach kids on the What, How, Why, When and Where’s of Worship. Here are my message notes from our latest Kid’s Worship Night.
    • Slow Worship/Response Time: Our group was big enough to separate them by age at this point in the service: K-2nd and 3rd-6th grade. We did this mainly to offer a longer time of worship/response for the older kids without the distractions of the younger kids.
    • Worship: Before each group transitioned into worship time I gave them some leading on how to remain focused and get the most out of their time with God. Close your eyes, don’t worry about anyone around you, spread out away from your friends, think about the words in the songs and sing them directly to God. I also talked to the worship leaders about leading the kids into each song to re-focus them between songs. The older kids had three slower worship songs and the younger kids only did one.
    • Small Groups: Discussion/recap on worship, open for questions, prayer, small group activities to reinforce what they learned about worship in large group.
    • Activity ideas: Worship art, Look up verses on worship, Describe God with ABCs, Worship Simon Says (younger kids).

You can check out the full schedule from our latest Kids’ Worship Night here: Kids’ Worship Night Feb. 2017.

Tips for a Successful Kids’ Worship Night:

  • Pray over the event, and tell your leaders to pray for weeks in advance.
  • Have a live worship team if possible. Even if only your slow worship is live that would be helpful. Live worship has a different feel and makes a different in people of all ages engaging in worship. Talk to your youth pastor and/or worship pastor about using one of their teams.
  • Talk to your worship leader(s) about leading the kids into worship by example, but also to lead them into worship verbally. Give them examples of ways/things to say to the kids to engage them in worship.
  • Change up the environment if possible. We used the sanctuary and pipe and draped off the sides to give it more of an intimate feel. If you can’t use another room, use lighting to change the environment, remove all the chairs in the room, do something to make it feel different.
  • Plan it on a weekend night. You can use this concept on a Sunday morning, but I believe that your time will be more limited. It makes a difference to do it at a different time than your normal services.
  • Make it convenient for parents. Plan it on a night when small groups for adults are happening, on a weekend, over valentine’s day weekend. Make it long enough for parents to want to drop off their kids (at least three hours).
  • Make it free and for a wide variety of ages. It might be tempting to charge for this event so you can offer dinner or make some money for your budget. I believe that it is important that anyone and everyone can come to Worship night. I don’t want money to stop kids from coming.
  • Be prepared for guests. I am always surprised by the amount of first-time guests we get at our Worship Nights. If you plan it on a weekend and it’s free, you will definitely get guests. Make sure you are ready to collect guest cards and make the guests feel welcome.

Testimonies From Worship Nights:

  • Kids engaging in worship like never before (not even at camp)
  • Leaders saying, “All worship nights should be like this!” and “I can’t wait for our next Worship Night!”
  • Parents telling me their kids came home excited about worship!
  • Kids asking great questions about worship.
  • Leaders saying that they were surprised by how much the kids understood and entered into worship.
  • God speaking a word to an 8-year-old girl during worship, and her asking to stay and worship longer instead of going to small groups.

I hope this “behind the scenes” look at our Kids’ Worship Nights has inspired you to go out and give it a try in your ministry. Please feel free to contact me if you have any more questions about Kids’ Worship Nights.

This article originally appeared here.

Update: Church Evicted Over Sign

By
Bob Ditmer
-
church signs
Screengrab YouTube @WANE 15 News

UPDATE: July 9, 2018

News reports, based on information supplied by unnamed church members, say the Remnant Fellowship Church has been evicted from its building because of the sign that read, “LGBTQ is a hate crime against God. Repent.” The church has also been protested and shut down their Facebook feed after one Facebook user said she rearranged the letters to say, “Stay open minded,” and posted a photo of her handiwork, according to WANE.

Newsweek reported that the landlord of the building, local members of the LGBTQ community and surrounding institutions were unavailable for comment by deadline.

The congregation is reportedly looking for another building to hols worship services.

It’s not the first church sign to get negative reaction, but it is the latest.

The sign outside Remnant Fellowship Church in Auburn, Indiana, reads, “LGBTQ is a hate crime against God. Repent.”

The sign generated comments on social and local media from passersby who were offended by it and those who defended it.

A local TV station, NewsChannel 15, did a story on the sign after getting calls. Tiffany Johnston told the station she doesn’t like the sign’s message. She said she has friends who are gay and bisexual and she doesn’t want her kids to grow up in a hateful world.

“It makes me upset. I’m outraged and disgusted by it,” said Johnston. “It’s judging people. I felt judged and I’m not even in that community. But I have family members that are. So it really, really upset me. I don’t think it should be up here. I think it should be taken down because all it’s doing is spreading hate.”

Church Elder Defends Church Signs

Robert Sturges, an elder at the church, said Johnston and others who share her opinion have it wrong. He said the sign simply conveys what the Bible says about homosexuality to the culture at large.

“We’re trying to reach a certain group of people,” Sturges said. “They’re being told in our culture that homosexuality, transvestites, lesbianism and sexual immorality is OK. But the Bible clearly says that those who practice these things will not inherit the Kingdom of God. In fact, it warns them that the wrath of God will abide upon them. And in the judgment, they will be lost and they will be sent to hell forever. We believe that. That’s our faith.”

Sturges said he wants to remind people who talk about tolerance that his church believes the Bible and they are not afraid to stand firm in their beliefs.

“We do love them,” Sturges said. “But we want to warn them that they are headed toward a cliff, and if they keep going that way, they’ll be destroyed. And that is what the sign is about.”

Last year, Family Worship Church of God in Clinton Township, Michigan, got a similar reaction to their sign that read, “We love the homosexual enough to tell them they’re wrong.”

Do Church Signs Show Disrespect to Gay Community?

How to reach the homosexual community is an issue that the evangelical church continues to struggle with. Pastor and theologian Kevin DeYoung has written that it’s important to preach the same gospel to gays as the rest of the congregation.

That message, DeYoung wrote, is we are all created in God’s image and we are born into this world predisposed to sin. “The Bible says we are children of wrath—sons of disobedience—and that our inclination is always toward evil all the time,” said DeYoung.

And DeYoung adds, “Hospitality will be very important; making necessary caveats and qualifications about what we mean by certain words; taking time to show people that we love them, that we care for them, that we want to hear them, that we want to know their hurts, that we want to know their stories. All of that would be important for anyone and especially perhaps for persons in the homosexual lifestyle.”

The issue of hospitality and being welcoming is one of the sticking points in the debate over church signs. One of the people upset by the Michigan church sign said he didn’t consider the message “very welcoming to his community.”

The issue is also one of the topics of the controversial Revoice conference taking place in late July in St. Louis. The conference’s stated mission is “to encourage, support and empower gay, lesbian and other same-sex-attracted Christians so they can experience the life-giving character of the historic, Christian sexual ethic.”

Conference founder Nate Collins said one of his goals is to get respect and repentance from the evangelical church for its posture toward the mainstream LGBT community. Church signs like the ones above could likely be two of his examples.

But critics of the conference wonder if a church violates the desired goal of being welcoming by holding to biblical truth about sexuality, gender identity, sin and repentance. 

Church signs aside, one of the Revoice critics, Denny Burk, adds that all church leaders should ask if their church and home have arms wide open to come alongside homosexuals, to receive them and to strengthen them.

Here’s What You Need to Know About Online Evangelism

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

Looking for a mission field? Check out the numbers of active users on these social media platforms: Facebook 2.19 billion, Instagram 1 billion, Twitter 336 million.

The numbers are staggering and fraught with possibilities for evangelism.

Barna Research Findings About Online Evangelism 

Barna just released a study in conjunction with Lutheran Hour Ministries that asked American adults about how they discuss spirituality online. There is no question that a large number of believers feel comfortable talking about their faith and evangelizing online via posts, comments and profiles.

Barna found three in 10 share their faith via social media. Thirty percent of self-identified Christians said they are just as likely to share their religious beliefs online as in person. Twelve percent said they are more likely to share their faith digitally.

Meanwhile, 58 percent of non-Christians said someone has shared their faith with them through Facebook; 14 percent through other social media.

Barna’s researchers found positive and negative takeaways from the online evangelism numbers.

On the plus side, younger Christians (64 percent of Gen Xers and 58 percent of Millennials) said technology and digital interactions make sharing their faith easier. The only age group where a majority do not feel that way are Baby Boomers (39 percent). Perhaps this is because the technology came after they were comfortable with other forms of communication.

The researchers also identified some hindrances to online evangelism.

A large majority in all age groups said it is harder to have a private, one-on-one conversation with people because they’re so busy with their phones and technology. And 64 percent of Millennials and 60 percent of Gen Xers said people are likely to avoid talking specifically about spirituality for the same reason.

While social media gives Christians a platform to talk about their faith before millions, it can also drive just as many away.

Do’s and Don’ts for Online Evangelism

The Center for Online Evangelism lists “7 Evangelism No-No’s for Facebook (and Other Social Media Platforms).”

  1. Viewing an individual as a ‘project’ rather than a person. When we become zealous about sharing our faith to bring someone to Christ, it’s easy to view an individual as a thing rather than a human being with interests, thoughts, feelings, etc. Treat them as you would a friend—love them, care for their needs, share your testimony and don’t put a time frame on your relationship.
  2. Speaking “Christianese.” Using “Christianese” creates a barrier in communicating the Gospel. This refers to jargon, theological expressions, slang, puns and catchphrases understood solely within the context of a Christian or denominational setting. These sayings cause confusion if someone doesn’t have a Christian background.
  3. Doctrine-dousing instead of dialoguing. No one likes being aggressively told what they should or should not believe. You can promote the Gospel if you are willing to engage rather than douse a person with doctrines.
  4. Giving an un-Christlike response under a post. There are countless examples of people who got in hot water because of a post online. One of the surest ways to lose your credibility as a Christian is to let a tense or heated moment get the best of you and respond in an un-Christlike manner under a post.
  5. Condemning people, rather than their actions, online. If we attack and condemn a person instead of sin—even if we have good intentions—it displays an act of judgment and appears to place the other person on a lower level. Your posts should give hope to someone who is struggling with sin.
  6. Living a double life online. Whether positively or negatively, the way we live our lives online (and offline) is a witness to the Gospel. You can’t turn on and off your role as an online missionary.
  7. Sending chain letters. Let’s face it, NO ONE likes them.

3 Must-Do’s of a Strong Sermon Opening

By
Lane Sebring
-
communicating with the unchurched

How you begin your sermon is vital. It can mean the difference between your listeners checking out or deciding to pay close attention. The things you say at the beginning of a sermon are what your listeners subconsciously use to build a framework for your whole message. If your thoughts are murky and unclear, you’re laying an unstable foundation.

The first 90 seconds of your sermon are some of the most powerful seconds you have. Don’t waste them. Your listeners decide within these first 90 seconds whether they will keep listening to you or not. This is particularly true if they don’t know you. But even if they do know you and like you as a preacher, every Sunday is a new opportunity to engage them or lose them. And both engagement and disengagement happen faster than you think.

Here are 3 Must-Do’s of a Strong Sermon Opening

1. Start high. When you step onto the stage to present the Word of God you should be thrilled! You should revel in the privilege you have to teach people about the love God has for them. And it should show. Smile. Greet your people. Be genuinely energetic and enthusiastic about your content. Your listeners will never be more enthusiastic about your content than you are. It’s your job to lead the way by example.

Chris Hodges at Church of the Highlands does this well. One of the best examples is a sermon he gave on financial generosity. He approached a touchy topic with enthusiasm and energy right off the bat. This made the potentially controversial message more bearable for the listener.

Implicitly, your listeners are taking their cues on how to feel about your content from you. If you come out of the gate high with authentic excitement for what everyone is about to discover in God’s word, they’ll follow your lead.

2. Start clear. Starting high only gets you so far. If you’re energetic but fuzzy, your listeners will discredit your enthusiasm as lacking substance. You want to let people know exactly where you are going and why it matters. Part of clarity is tension. You want to build tension in the beginning to ensure interest in the content. I wrote about how to build tension in this article.

3. Start now. Time is of the essence because you need to capture people quickly. You may want to tell that hilarious story that has nothing to do with your content, but it may work against your ability to engage your listeners with your message. Avoid rambling and wasting time. Get to the point and get there soon while not seeming rushed or robotic.

In addition to opening strong you want to avoid these four common mistakes when ending your sermon.

What are some other ways to begin a sermon well?

This article originally appeared here.

Share the Gospel: What Everyone Is Afraid to Say About Evangelism

By
Chris Swain
-
communicating with the unchurched

Have you recently listened to a medication commercial? They start off by telling you all the fantastic things the medication can do, but after about three sentences the spokesperson begins to speak incredibly fast about all of the side effects. Generally, these effects are not good. One trick the commercials use is showing the people on screen in fun situations and happy as can be while the voice-over is clarifying the sometimes awful side effects that will take place.

Sadly, this reminds me of how many believers share the gospel.

What Everyone Is Afraid to Say About Evangelism

Don’t want to spend eternity burning in hell? Want to feel secure when you do risky things knowing that when you die, you’ll be good to go? Trust in Jesus! It’s easy and lasts forever! And just like the medication commercials, we tend to gloss over the side effects. Just listen to the voice-over: Followers of Jesus often experience trials and tribulations. They are hated for the sake of Christ. The road is narrow, the gate is small and you must die daily to self, take up your cross and follow Him.

Every mature believer should be an evangelist, sharing their faith and leading others to understand and accept the gift of salvation by grace through faith. But we must not stop there. The Great Commission doesn’t stop there. After the going, and the making, and the baptizing of disciples in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, there is another element to making disciples: Teach them to observe all I have commanded you.

Sharing a gospel that saves us from eternal separation from God is easy. Sharing a gospel that requires us to die to ourselves is more difficult, but that doesn’t make it less true. Have we sacrificed biblical disciplemaking on the altar of easy believe-ism? Have we turned the sharing of the good news of Jesus Christ into a sales pitch that you “just can’t say no to” so we can celebrate like we’re moving a product? Have we reduced following Jesus to a massive multi-level-marketing scheme?

Perhaps what we’re afraid to say about evangelism is that it’s much more than a sales pitch. It is much more than a box we check as we go about our lives as believers. Sharing the gospel should absolutely be a significant part of every Christ follower’s life, but we are kidding ourselves if we believe that it is a metric for success when it comes to fulfilling the Great Commission. Leading people to Christ is part of it, but not all of it. Helping people understand God’s word is equally crucial to making disciples. If we miss that, then we will leave these new believers to live as spiritual infants who never grow and never experience the fullness of the life of a disciple of Christ.

And I’ll bet your numbers show this to be true.

Here is a practical exercise you can try to determine how effective your disciplemaking has been. Take the numbers of decisions or baptisms per year and contrast those with the number of people weekly attending your church. For example, if your church baptized 50 people last year, did your worship services grow by at least that number? Take it a step further and look at multiple years. To be more precise, look at the names of the people and see if those people are plugged into your church or any church for that matter. I realize this metric is not the end-all for success in evangelism or discipleship, but it is one way we can provide a clear picture of our effectiveness of maturing disciples.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard people say that a focus on discipleship lessens the emphasis on evangelism in churches. I’ve heard the lie that discipleship is all about a group of people just getting together in a holy huddle with no desire to reach the world. The truth is that people who understand God’s word to the point where they are observing what Jesus commanded will share the gospel more frequently and effectively than those who have merely punched a salvation ticket. They will attend more, give more, serve more and share their faith more.

This article originally appeared here.

Jesus on Coaching With Questions

By
Stephen Blandino
-
communicating with the unchurched

Jesus on Coaching With Questions

Coaching is a powerful tool that helps leaders grow personally and professionally. Whereas mentoring is more about “pouring in” to a person, coaching is about “drawing out” what’s hidden deep inside of them. Coaches understand that the greatest skill in their coaching arsenal is question-asking. If they ask the right questions, they can help a client surface the solutions to some of their toughest issues. Small group leaders are called to follow Jesus on coaching, especially through questions.

Apparently Jesus understood this better than anyone. Author Ravi Zacharias observes that nine times out of 10, when Jesus is asked a question, He responds with a question. And author John Dear observes that in the Gospels, there are over 300 questions recorded by Jesus…307 to be exact. “Jesus coaching” leverages the power of questions-asking.

So if you want to excel as a coach, stop just handing out answers to everyone’s questions. Starting asking questions that force people to think, reflect and respond. The solutions people own the most are the ones they come up with. Your questions can help them come up with the best solutions to their biggest challenges.

Question: What are the best coaching questions you can ask?

This article originally appeared here.

Fortnite: Your Son’s Latest Obsession

By
David Thomas
-
communicating with the unchurched

A day doesn’t go by where I don’t hear something about Fortnite.

It’s the game the majority of boys (of all ages) seem to be talking about these days. It was something completely different a year ago, and chances are good it will be something completely different a year from now. But for today, it’s Fortnite. Though it’s rated “T” for Teen, many parents of younger boys are allowing boys to explore it.

Many parents have compromised because of its cartoonish nature, or the lack of profanity or blood. There are sites and commentaries arguing the advantages of strategic thinking, teamwork and creativity.

Equally so, there are sites and commentaries arguing it’s still violent and how the online nature still exposes younger players to the offensive language of other players.

Spend more time in reality than in virtual activity

Wherever you land in your decision on Fortnite…or Minecraft…or Call of Duty…or whatever game takes the boy world by storm next, let me encourage you to make sure your son spends more time in reality than in virtual activity.

Make sure he spends more time kicking a real soccer ball than playing FIFA 2018.

Make sure he spends more time having real conversations that don’t involve wearing a headset, and do involve reading nonverbal communication and making eye contact.

Make sure he spends more time talking with real people than texting.

Make certain he has a context like scouting or playing sports, being a part of robotics team or a climbing club, a book club or youth group, student government or volunteering…places where he experiences real teamwork, human interaction, strategic thinking, creativity and practicing empathy.

Absolutely let him have time to enjoy video games (with limitations) as a means of practicing regulation.

I talked with a single mom recently that told her 14-year-old son she has three rules for gaming.

3 Rules for Child When Gaming:

  1. You gain five extra minutes the following day for turning it off without arguing. You lose 15 minutes the next day for battling me when it’s time to shut it down.
  2. I can’t control what you hear when you have the headset on. But if I hear you repeat something profane or disrespectful, the headset is put up for a week.
  3. Every time you turn the system off, you owe me 20 minutes of physical activity, to counter the effects of sitting still and being plugged in.

This mom is choosing to let his engagement with gaming serve as a vehicle for strengthening his ability to regulate himself. Technology Tuesday is all about helping parents feel more prepared, less behind and considering ways technology can work for you.

This article originally appeared here.

The Hardest Thing for a Pastor to See

By
Kevin Thompson
-
communicating with the unchurched

The pastorate can be gut-wrenching. On a weekly basis, you are invited into the darkest moments of a person’s life. This leads to sights and images which you can’t eliminate from your memory.

I remember the:

  • quietness as I held the still-born baby in my hand
  • terror on the abused woman’s face
  • helplessness by the elderly husband as his wife was having a seizure
  • fear of the man facing prison
  • moment the woman realized her husband had cheated
  • look on the parents’ faces when the doctor said their child didn’t make it
  • confusion as the couple realized the marriage was dissolving
  • blood being cleaned after the suicide

These and a thousand other images can come to mind at the most random of times.

Yet they are not the worst thing a pastor sees. They are horrible. Tragic. Scarring. But there is something more painful.

The most difficult sight a pastor sees is the individual or family consistently making bad choices which you know will come with a heavy price. It’s not as sensational as a scandal or as life-changing as a traumatic event, but it is tremendously sad and completely unnecessary.

Choices have consequences. The problem is that many of our choices don’t have immediate consequences. The child learns not to touch the hot stove when their hand is immediately burned. But the adult doesn’t learn to control their gambling as they slowly go into debt and even occasionally hit a jackpot. Because our choices don’t have immediate consequences, individuals don’t understand the direction they are headed. (See: How to Respond to Others When They Make Bad Choices)

Unfortunately, pastors often know what is to come. Because we walk with so many people through a variety of issues, we can often foretell the consequences of decisions. We can often predict when the marriage will end, if the kids will grow up with or without faith, how difficult the cancer diagnosis will be, and a thousand different scenarios. We aren’t being judgmental. We desperately pray we are wrong. But more often than not, the predictable outcome occurs and the people are shocked because they never saw the pattern of their poor decisions.

Today’s choices form the foundation upon which tomorrow’s problems will sit. When the foundation is strong, we can endure much. When it is weak, even the smallest of issues can create chaos. Sadly, we don’t realize the foundation we are building or the guaranteed difficult times which are certain to come. But both are real. Without a doubt, difficult days will come. A diagnosis will happen, a child will rebel, grief will be experienced and we will be tested. In those moments, we won’t have the time to quickly gain wisdom, become the people we want to be, or create the connection with God we will need. In those moments, we will only have what we have spent years creating. If we have consistently made foolish choices, we will have nothing to lean on in our most difficult moments.

However, if we have continually done the small things to grow in wisdom, create good friendships, develop a mature faith and establish a stable foundation of who we are, not only will we avoid some foolish outcomes, but we will be prepared to endure difficult times which come our way.

As a pastor, I can often tell those who will be able to endure hardships and those who won’t. I can see those who are making foolish decisions which one day will have serious consequences.

I see it when they:

  • don’t prioritize regular church attendance but assume their children will grow up to have a meaningful faith
  • are careless with their marriage—flirting with others, not spending time together, failing to create boundaries—but think they are above cheating or divorce (See: 9 Choices Happy Couples Make)
  • waste years without trying to grow in knowledge of God or understand the Bible but still believe they will know the fundamentals of faith or be able to discern God’s way in the complexities of life
  • value hobbies over the family but think their kids will grow up feeling secure and mature
  • take no action to protect themselves from greed and continually chase after more money but are convinced they won’t idolize wealth or possessions

These and a thousand other decisions have obvious outcomes for the person willing to honestly evaluate what has happened to others who have made similar choices. Instead, we often assume we are different so we think those outcomes won’t happen to us.

Nearly without exception, they do. Choices have consequences. When we make bad choices, we will eventually pay a price for our decisions. As a pastor, this is hard to watch in other people. As a pastor, this is nearly impossible to see in my own life. So I need help. I need people who love me and are invited into my life not just with the ability, but with the expectation to call me out for when my choices could hinder me from becoming what I desire.

At any moment tomorrow, the phone could ring and I could be invited into a situation with horrific images. Yet chances are that nothing I will see will be worse than watching people I love make bad decisions which will eventually bring horrific consequences.

Suggestion: Get with a mentor, friend or pastor and ask them—is there an area in my life in which you are concerned because of the decisions I’m currently making?

The original article appeared here.

Justice Anthony Kennedy Announces Retirement From Supreme Court

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

On the heels of landmark decisions on free speech, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy has announced he will retire. Kennedy’s retirement will allow President Donald Trump to nominate a successor who could create the most conservative court in generations and put the landmark Roe v. Wade abortion-rights ruling at risk.

In a letter to the president, Kennedy said he will retire effective July 31.

“Please permit me by this letter to express my profound gratitude for having had the privilege to seek in each case how best to know, interpret and defend the Constitution and the laws that must always conform to its mandates and promises,” Kennedy said in his letter to Trump. The court said Kennedy told his colleagues of his decision Wednesday.

Kennedy, an 81-year-old Ronald Reagan appointee, has been the court’s pivotal vote for the last decade, joining liberal justices to legalize gay marriage and voting with conservatives to throw out campaign-finance restrictions.

Suggestions for Who Should Replace Anthony Kennedy

Catherine Glenn Foster, President & CEO of the pro-life advocacy group Americans United for Life, is calling on Trump to nominate a pro-life constitutionalist.

“The Supreme Court, and the American people, need Justices who understand that the Constitution is the Nation’s highest form of precedent and that the Court should allow space for rearmament of poorly reasoned precedent, rather than prematurely declaring permanent victors in divisive constitutional debates,” said Foster.

Family Research Council President Tony Perkins said Kennedy’s retirement will “turbocharge” evangelical voters in the midterm elections.

“In a closely divided U.S. Senate, every vote matters,” said Perkins. “If values voters needed a reason to engage in this election cycle—they certainly have it now. The American people are looking for yet another Supreme Court nominee in the mold of Justice Scalia as President Trump promised and delivered in Justice Gorsuch.”

In addition to Gorsuch, the court has three members—Roberts and Justices Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas—who have consistently voted to uphold abortion restrictions. All are Republican appointees.

“We are confident the president will choose a justice who simply decides the cases before them, as the Constitution intends,” concluded Perkins.

Dr. Jerry Johnson, president and CEO of National Religious Broadcasters, said in a statement, “I urge President Trump to nominate a Constitution-honoring individual in the mold of Justice Scalia once again, and for the Senate to confirm him or her quickly.”

By naming his successor, Trump could leave an enduring mark on the court, giving it a solid five-justice conservative majority. Chief Justice John Roberts may now become the swing vote.

Trump Has a List of Names to Succeed Anthony Kennedy

Kennedy is “a very spectacular man,” Trump said at the White House. The president said he’ll begin the search for a replacement immediately, adding that he has an “excellent list” of talented and “hopefully tremendous people.”

Trump presented a list of 25 Supreme Court candidates during his campaign, the same list from which Justice Neil Gorsuch emerged to provide the sweeping rulings that protected free speech in a narrowly divided court (NIFLA v. Becerra, Masterpiece Cakeshop, Ltd. v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission, Arlene’s Flowers v. Washington, Janus v. AFSCME). The White House developed the list with input from the conservative Federalist Society and Heritage Foundation.

Washington-based federal appeals court judge Brett Kavanaugh, a former Kennedy law clerk with close ties to the retiring justice, is a top contender, according to a U.S. official who spoke on condition of anonymity to Bloomberg.

Trump could also consider three federal judges he interviewed before selecting Gorsuch: William Pryor of Alabama, Thomas Hardiman of Pennsylvania and Amul Thapar of Kentucky. Other possibilities include federal appellate judges Raymond Kethledge of Michigan, who was considered for the Gorsuch seat but didn’t get an interview, and Amy Coney Barrett of South Bend, Indiana.

Republicans hold a 51-49 advantage in the Senate, so they could approve Trump’s nominee without any Democratic support.

John Piper on Gethsemane: The Double Battle

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

According to John Piper on Gethsemane, the story of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane just before his crucifixion is typically seen as Jesus battling his flesh to be true to the Father’s will.

While that’s true, John Piper points out that there is a second battle taking place that night and it is often overlooked. He says the second battle shows believers how they can overcome temptation and the weakness of the flesh.

John Piper on Gethsemane Message:  “Lord, Teach Us to Fight: The Double Battle in Gethsemane.”

The first battle is played out in two scenes. In Matthew 26:39, Jesus prays that this cup might pass from him, but adding that he is willing to do the Father’s will. The cup is the 18 hours of horror that he is about to face in the crucifixion.

There is a second prayer time recorded in Matthew 26:42. This time Jesus prays, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

Piper says the prayers in Gethsemane appear to contradict each other. In the first prayer, Jesus is asking to avoid the cup, in the second he’s asking for God’s help as he drinks it.

The Difference for Two Prayers in Gethsemane

“What changed?” Piper asks. He finds that answer in Luke 22:43. Luke tells us that Jesus was visited by an angel. The angel told him, in response to his first prayer, that there was no other way; the cup could not be avoided but the angel was there to strengthen him.

Piper says there is a lesson here. “That’s an awesome thought in your own welfare. If Jesus needs help, so do you.”

He pairs that verse with Hebrews 5:7, an instruction to us in hardship. Jesus prayed with loud cries and tears. He was heard because of his reverence.

The Second Battle Involved the Disciples.

Luke 22:36 tells us that Jesus instructed eight of the disciples to sit and wait while he prayed. But he tells Peter, James and John to come with him. He has them stop a few feet away from where he will pray and tells them to watch. He wants them to hear how he’s handling a fleshly desire to flee in times of trouble and his reliance on the Father’s help. He warns them to stay awake and pray in preparation for the most serious and difficult temptation of their lives.

Instead they fall asleep.

As Scripture documents, they and the rest of the disciples, abandoned Jesus in his time of need. Piper points out, “That’s what you get for sleeping.”  

In one battle in the garden, Jesus wins as he relies on the Father for strength in the face of adversity. In the second, the disciples lose because they fail to prepare for the fight.

Piper says the lesson for the church today is not that we’re all doomed to failure. It’s to encourage us in our failures and to remind us that Jesus is praying that our faith might not fail, like he did for Peter; and when our faith is strong, we should strengthen the brethren.

Sam Rodriguez: Today’s Complacency Is Tomorrow’s Captivity

By
Jason Daye
-
communicating with the unchurched

Sam Rodriguez is the President of the National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference, the world’s largest Hispanic Christian organization serving as a representative voice for the more than 100 million Hispanic Evangelicals assembled in over 40,118 U.S. churches and over 450,000 churches spread throughout the Spanish-speaking diaspora.

Key Questions for Sam Rodriguez:

– What’s the biggest challenge pastors face today?
– How are churches embracing the hope in Christ?

[SUBSCRIBE] For more ChurchLeaders podcasts click here!

Key Quotes from Sam Rodriguez:

“We are defined by so many things other than the centrality of Christ…(our biggest problem right now) is the lack of viable, spirit empowered identity.’

“Today’s complacency is tomorrow’s captivity. We are what we tolerate.”

“We are a counter-cultural narrative that hopes to reach the culture in the name of Jesus.”

“If we take away Christ from the gospel message then what are we preaching?”

“We are seeing an emergence of Christ-centered, Bible-based churches transforming their communities. We are at the precipice of an awakening.”

“I believe that God is not done with America and America is not done with God and the conduit is the church.”

“I’m seeing the emergence of multi-ethnic, Christ-centered Bible-based churches to me that is the hope of a nation.”

“(the multi-ethnic church) is the number one trend in happening right now in this nation. The emergence of multi-ethnic, multi-generational, Christ-centered, Bible-based churches. That puts a smile on my face because it’s the answer to the racial angst in the nation.”

“You will attract what you reflect. It’s intentional.”

“A divided church will never heal a broken nation.”

“When all the colors come together it reflects the brightest light.”

“Faith is trusting God when life makes no sense.”

“We are not defined by what’s around us, we’re defined by God inside of us.”

Links Mentioned by Sam Rodriguez in the Show:

Shake Free

Sam Rodriguez on ChurchLeaders:

Sammy Rodriguez: The God of Droughts, Fires, and Rain

New Initiative Hopes to Bridge the Divide in Evangelicalism

Take Your Bible, Not Politics, Into the Pulpit

By
Dr. Brad Jurkovich
-
communicating with the unchurched

Would you preach politics from the pulpit?

Recently, I was invited to a meeting with area pastors about a serious issue that our school board was facing. An organization was suing our school board for various acts of religious expression that they felt violated the separation of church and state. It had made national news. Suddenly, so many things collided: faith, politics and my congregation. How was I, as a pastor, going to lead our people through these challenges? I had politicians in my church, teachers, the school superintendent, students, parents and more.

As the events unfolded, I knew I could not remain silent or neutral. No matter the controversy, I needed to speak biblical truth and encourage and instruct on matters that many would rather avoid. But God was so gracious, and thousands of students and families stood stronger in their faith. It was an interesting and challenging season for sure.

No Politics from the Pulpit?

Over the years of my pastoral ministry, I have had church members say to me, “Pastor, I would highly recommend that you not bring politics into the pulpit.” And when they say this, it is usually accompanied with a tone that says the pulpit should never be controversial. This has been an interesting recommendation to consider.

I want to first ask, “What do these fellow Christians mean when they say ‘politics’?” Most people simply think “politics” includes voting for a candidate and voting on issues. Additionally, they envision the mean spirit and deceptive tactics so often seen and associated with those running for a particular office in a local, state or national race.

Without question, there are actions and attitudes that are cringe-worthy and un-Christlike in political races, and I do not blame church members for not wanting those things emanating from the pulpit, much less from the life of their pastor. The result of these concerns is that many pastors will avoid anything that can be construed as political in their preaching ministry.

But is this the best reaction? Paul called Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:2 to “preach the Word; be ready in season and out of season.” Every pastor is to preach, teach and proclaim the Word of God to the people of God. All of it.

You know what I have discovered? The Bible speaks to every issue that intersects with our political debates. And there are many issues that become positions in politics. Some of these issues are abortion (Jeremiah 1:5), same-sex attraction (1 Corinthians 6:9-11), racism (Galatians 3:26-28) and numerous others.

If you are a pastor who preaches the Bible and is committed to teaching your flock all of God’s Word, then you will ultimately preach on issues that many will deem political. But God’s Word must be our standard and foundation of all truth, and, as pastors, we must be committed to delivering His Word to His people so that the church can be strong in the faith and Christians can stand boldly in our world regardless of the issue. Our people need to know what God’s Word says about any particular issue more than what some person or company says about it on Twitter.

Beyond the issues that intersect with political debates are the people who desire places of leadership on the local, state and national levels. Does never preaching politics from the pulpit mean that a pastor can never speak about a candidate seeking a place of leadership? In our American form of government, that place might be in a local, state or national office.

1...1,0311,0321,033...1,194Page 1,032 of 1,194
855,266FansLike

New Articles

New Podcasts

Joby Martin

Joby Martin: What Happens When Pastors Finally Understand Grace

Jessica Lea -
Joby Martin joins “The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast” to discuss what happens when a church leader has truly been run over by the “grace train" and understands the profound love and grace of God.
Jennie Allen

Best of 2024—Jennie Allen: Why Church Leaders Need To Pay Attention...

Jon Acuff

Best of 2024: Jon Acuff—How To Pursue Success Without Destroying Your...

Libin Abraham

Libin Abraham on God’s Surprising Job Description for the Pastor

ChurchLeaders.com is dedicated to resourcing, informing, and connecting a community of church leaders for greater Kingdom impact worldwide.
Contact us: support@churchleaders.com

Company

Trending

Popular Categories

© ChurchLeaders