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Rich Birch: Here’s How to Make Your Church Grow

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Rich Birch has been involved in church leadership for over 20 years. He’s a conference speaker and author. His books include Church Growth FlywheelUNREASONABLE CHURCHES: 10 Churches Who Zagged When Others Zigged and Saw More Impact Because of It, is an Amazon bestseller in the Church Leadership category. It’s designed to help church leaders think a new thought and take new risks in impacting their community.

Key Questions for Rich Birch:

– What do you mean by growing attendance through promotion of “big days?”
– What makes a “big day” different than every other Sunday?

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Key Quotes from Rich Birch:

“The majority of churches that are growing are not growing as quickly as the community they are in. That means over time our influence in the communities we are in will lessen over time.”

“The churches that are the fastest growing are that ones that are firmly committed to the proclamation of the message, to preaching.”

“Churches grow because members invite their friends.”

“At the end of the day, your big day needs to be built around great teaching.”

“Successful outreach is consistent pressure in the same direction over time.”

“Consistency is more important than excellence.”

“Invite cards are a memory tool to remind your members what’s going to happen.”

“What a lot of large churches are doing is tried and true, old school communication.”

“Churches should be sending more emails to their people, they need to communicate more through that channel.”

“One of the fastest growing churches in the country put invite cards on every seat and then talked about it.”

“As we come up to these big days, this is a great opportunity to reach out to the media in your community.”

Links Mentioned by Rich Birch in the Show:

Church Growth Flywheel

Move Into More

mynewlife.org

Rich Birch on ChurchLeaders:

6 Reasons Your Church Should Record Its Own Music

8 Simple Rules for Following Up With Guests

 

Should You Have a Small Group Quizmaster?

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Think of a time when you attended a conference or church service when you heard something you thought could make a major difference in your life, but only a few hours later you couldn’t even remember the discussion topic.

How did you feel in that moment? What was the consequence of that lost opportunity?

Your group members can have that same unfortunate experience.

Growth Through Learning

Your small group members are taking time out of their schedule to gather with you and the other group members to improve their lives. One way they find it worthwhile is by discovering things through the Bible study and discussions that can result in self-improvement and spiritual growth. But by the time they get home, they often can’t remember those key takeaways they developed in their mind during the session.

If we are truly learning…

  • We need to discover new things (or see things in a new way)
  • We need to know how to put those things into practice
  • We need to recall what we learned when the time comes to apply it

Break Out the Quiz

There are many techniques that can be used to accelerate and retain what we learn. There are also some techniques, like re-reading text, that seem like great ways to improve learning but don’t really have a significant impact in the long-run.

A method that does work well for learning includes the use of quizzes.

“Immediate recall in the form of a test is an effective method of aiding the retention of learning and should, therefore, be employed more frequently.”

Herbert F. Spitzer as cited in How We Learn: The Surprising Truth About When, Where, and Why It Happens by Benedict Carey

Why not use quizzes as part of your small group gatherings?

Small Group Quizmaster Tips

Consider using the following tips to maximize the benefits of using quizzes without scaring off your members:

  • Warn your small group members in advance that you will spring quizzes on them. Be sure to tell them why you are doing it. They will benefit from it.
  • Don’t require your members to share their answers with others. Required sharing of answers could cause an unnecessarily embarrassing situation. Allow each person to “grade” their own quiz and learn from what they could and couldn’t recall.
  • Include one or more difficult questions. Why? The harder they work to get the answer, the better the learning retention.
  • After you do a few quizzes, ask your members for a reaction. If they want to stop the quizzes, that is OK. Just use other learning methods in its place.
  • Consider handing this leadership area to another group member—the small group Quizmaster!

Who in your small group will be the Quizmaster?

Question: There are many ways you can increase the learning retention of your group members. What are some effective ones that you have used? 

This article originally appeared here.

A Candid Response to the New Pastors’ Spouse Survey

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When the new LifeWay Research study on pastors’ spouses came out last fall, I asked my wife, Janet, for feedback on the results since she has been a pastor’s wife for 30 years, and a pastor’s daughter her whole life. Janet also speaks to approximately 1,500 pastors’ wives each year in conferences, retreats and Pastor Date Nights across North America. This representative study of 720 spouses revealed that their lives and ministries were a mixture of challenges and blessings.

In the last seven days, 52 percent have had personal time with the Lord involving Bible study and prayer five or more times.

Mark: You seem to have some concerns about this survey response on a spouse’s personal time with God.

Janet: Yes. I know for me there is an obvious direct correlation between my outlook on life and my personal time with God. I am left wondering if some of the other survey results like “26 percent could not say they have a clear sense of purpose in ministry” came from those who indicated the least amount of personal time with God?

Mark: What would you say to these women?

Janet: Years ago I felt trapped and guilty in the legalistic idea that if I were truly spiritual I would spend an hour every day in prayer and Bible study. I am proud to announce that since now I have an empty nest and am unemployed, I am finally spiritual! I joke, but in all seriousness, an hour every day has not always been a reality for me. One year I was working 40 hours a week, working on my master’s degree, with a husband, two kids and a ministry. Beth Moore was going to have to wait! It was in that year that I spent short, but highly focused time with God. Like the poor man’s offering, I gave sacrificially of my time and God was faithful to meet me there. Andrea Lennon of True Vine Ministry says, “As busy women, we need to practice the presence of God throughout the day. Start in His Word, whether 10 minutes or an hour, and use it as a starting point to cultivate a relationship with Him. Find creative ways to stay engaged with Him and our faith will be spurred on through the busyness of life’s activity.”

When I had preschoolers and mornings were chaos, I looked forward to my 2:00 p.m. date with God during their naptime. I have always lived by the principle that if I am too busy for my personal time with God, then I am too busy. Not only do I need it, but also it is why I was created. According to Jesus, everything and everyone else needs to fall in line behind Him. The fact still remains that my quiet time has not always looked the same. I have worshiped while exercising, listened to sermons while cleaning house, memorized scripture while doing my hair, and one year I did a read through the Bible plan—all in audio.

Obviously, more time in His Word and concentrated prayer is best, but Christianity is not a rigid formula, it is a relationship with a loving God of grace who eagerly awaits us. Determination is key.

Fifty-six percent agree they have too few relationships that make them feel emotionally connected with others.

Seven out of 10 agree they have very few people to confide in about important matters in life.

16 Steps Leaders Can Take To Get Unstuck

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I love the passage in Nehemiah chapter 4:10 which states, “In Judah it was said, ‘The strength of those who bear the burdens is failing. There is too much rubble. By ourselves we will not be able to rebuild the wall.’”

I can relate to this passage and how Nehemiah was feeling. There are times I feel stuck in rubble as well. Sometimes, everything I look at is rubble with no way out. Hopelessness can become an unwelcome constant companion.

If you have been in leadership any length of time, you have been there. In every leader’s life there are times we just feel stuck with no idea how to get positive momentum going.

So what did Nehemiah do? His actions in the following verses provide us a template for getting out of rubble and moving toward a brighter tomorrow.

The following are 16 Steps Leaders Can Take to Get Unstuck and get out of rubble:

  1. To Get Unstuck Surround Yourself With People You Love and Trust – “So in the lowest parts of the space behind the wall, in open places, I stationed the people by their clans…” – v. 13
  2. To Get Unstuck You Need The Right Tools and Resources – “with their swords, their spears, and their bows.” – v.13
  3. To Get Unstuck Rally Your Leaders First – And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials…” – v.14
  4. To Get Unstuck Rally Your People Second – “and to the rest of the people…” – v.14
  5. To Get Unstuck Relax – “Do not be afraid of them.” – v.14
  6. To Get Unstuck Remember What God Has Done for You in the Past – “Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome…” – v.14
  7. To Get Unstuck You Must Engage the Battle – “and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.” – v.14
  8. To Get Unstuck Get Back to Work – “We all returned to the wall, each to his work.” – v.15
  9. To Get Unstuck Assign People to Their Area of Expertise – “From that day on, half of my servants worked on construction, and half held the spears, shields, bows, and coats of mail.” – v. 16
  10. To Get Unstuck Support Those Who Are Working Hard – “And the leaders stood behind the whole house of Judah who were building on the wall.” – v. 16-17
  11. To Get Unstuck You Must Carry a Heavier Load – Those who carried burdens were loaded in such a way that each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon with the other.” – v. 17
  12. To Get Unstuck You Must Be Diligent – “And each of the builders had his sword strapped at his side while he built.” – v.18
  13. To Get Unstuck Everyone Must Rally Together – “The work is great and widely spread, and we are separated on the wall, far from one another. In the place where you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there.” – v. 19-20
  14. To Get Unstuck Trust God and Allow Him to Help You – “Our God will fight for us.” – v.20
  15. To Get Unstuck Requires Great Time and Effort – “So we labored at the work, and half of them held the spears from the break of dawn until the stars came out. I also said to the people at that time, ‘Let every man and his servant pass the night within Jerusalem, that they may be a guard for us by night and may labor by day.’” – v. 21-22
  16. To Get Unstuck Requires a Great Team – “So neither I nor my brothers nor my servants nor the men of the guard who followed me, none of us took off our clothes; each kept his weapon at his right hand.” – v.23

What is one thing you learned from Nehemiah’s actions which can help you get unstuck?

This article originally appeared here.

Boring Preaching Is a Crime! 7 Ways to Be Interesting

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No, this is not a post about the loss of our religious freedom—it’s a reflection on a quote I’ve looked at many times since I first wrote it down about nine years ago at a conference on good preaching…

If you think the gathering of biblical facts and standing up with a Bible in your hand will automatically equip you to communicate well, you are desperately mistaken. It will not. You must work at being interesting. Boredom is a gross violation, being dull is a grave offense, and irrelevance is a disgrace to the gospel. Too often these three crimes go unpunished and we preachers are the criminals. ~ Charles Swindoll

In a previous pastorate, I began preaching through the entire Bible. I almost made it through 2 Samuel when we were called away to join the Saddleback Church staff, but we managed to grow both spiritually and numerically through those four years.

One of the biggest fears people had when we began that journey together was, “Aren’t some parts of the Bible boring?”

Yes and no.

Yes, parts of the Bible can be boring if we don’t read with discernment. But when we put ourselves in the shoes of people who lived during the times of which we’re reading about, then transport ourselves to our 2009 culture, God’s truth unveils itself in radically doable ways.

Pursuing Good Preaching

Still, Swindoll is right. To have good preaching, we preachers must work at being interesting.

Here are some tips for doing just that…

Laugh a Little

One pastor I know tells a joke every Sunday from the pulpit. I don’t recommend it for everybody, but there were two conditions present at his church when he arrived there: a prevailing spirit of negativity and discouragement, and his own comedic personality. For his congregation, laughter became therapeutic.

The joke-a-week may not always be the best approach, but do be willing to laugh, especially at yourself. It’s one of the most disarming things you can do. Your vulnerability and authenticity will definitely break down barriers between you and your listeners.

Don’t believe in the power of laughter? Listen to Charles Swindoll read this letter home from camp…

Taking Action

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When Your Marriage Is Going in the Wrong Direction, Doing Nothing Is Usually Your Worst Choice

[Note: this week’s blog post is an adaptation from my newly released book Loving Him Well: Practical Advice for Influencing Your Husband, which is a rewritten version of Sacred Influence. For this reason, it primarily addresses women and wives, but men and husbands should feel free to change the genders and apply it accordingly. Nothing stated here isn’t also true for men. In fact, I’d love to hear in the comments how men reacted to this.]

When a marriage is going “south,” one of the worst things you can do is…nothing. People in panic often fear making the wrong move but sometimes “no move” is the worst move. Not doing anything will get you just what you’ve got.

The first thing so many women (and men, for that matter) in the Bible had to be told was to stop being afraid and become bold. When Hagar was abandoned by her husband and exiled to what looked like her and her son’s slow starvation and death, God’s angel encouraged her: “Do not be afraid” (Genesis 21:17). When the women who had been faithful to Jesus were beside themselves with grief, wondering what had happened to the body of their precious Jesus, an angel admonished them, “Do not be afraid” (Matthew 28:5).

Because of God’s Spirit within us, we are sometimes called to bold action. The “safe” path is sometimes a slow drift toward destruction. One of my favorite Christian philosophers, Elton Trueblood, put it so well:

“The person who never goes out on a limb will never, it is true, have the limb cut off while he is on it, but neither will he reach the best fruit. The best fruit which human life offers seems to come only within the reach of those who face life boldly…with no excessive concern over possible failure and personal danger. The good life is always the gambler’s choice, and comes to those who take sides. Neutrality is seldom a virtue.”

Fear gives birth to paralysis—and sometimes inaction is our greatest enemy. Marriages can slowly die from years of apathy. I’ve seen many relationships wilt from unhealthy patterns that one or both partners refused to address until they became “calcified” and thus were 10 times more difficult to break. This is true of addictions, unhealthy communication and disrespect. The longer a bad situation goes on, the more ingrained it becomes and the more difficult it is to fix.

If you always play it safe in your marriage, you’re going to end up in some ruts. What I believe will give you the most boldness and courage to address issues that need to change is understanding who you already are in Christ.

The Spiritual Platform to Influence Your Spouse

Let’s apply some simple theology here. Who does the Bible say is your refuge—God or your husband? Deuteronomy 33:27 provides the answer: “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.”

In whom does your hope lie? Your husband’s continuing affection? First Peter 1:21 says, “Your faith and hope are in God.”

Where will you find your security? You and your husband’s ability to earn a living and your husband’s commitment to stay married to you? Philippians 4:19 answers, “My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

Where will you find supreme acceptance that will never fade or falter for all the days of your life? “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,” replies Isaiah 62:5, “so will your God rejoice over you.”

If you’re trying to find your primary refuge in your husband, if you’ve centered your hope on him, if your security depends on his approval, and if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance, then you’ve just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God alone.

And that means you’ve turned marriage into idol worship.

When you do that, both you and your husband lose. How will you ever find the courage to confront someone whose acceptance so determines your sense of well-being that you believe you can’t exist without him? How will you ever take the risk to say what needs to be said if you think your future depends on your husband’s favor toward you?

Your future depends on God, not on a fallen man. Your security rests with your caring Creator’s providence, not with your husband’s paycheck. Your acceptance as a person became secure when God adopted you, not when your husband proposed to you. If you truly want to love, motivate and influence your husband, your first step must be to stay connected with God. Find your refuge, security, comfort, strength and hope in him.

Armed with this acceptance, security and empowerment, you become a mighty force for good. You can then claim the power of Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 31:8: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Fear and discouragement create stagnancy and persistent disappointment in marriage. If you’ve had your fill of those, why not try God’s path of faith and boldness? When you begin taking initiative instead of simply feeling sorry for yourself, you become an active woman, and active women mirror the active God who made them.

Men & Their Emotions

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We tend to speak the language of desires and emotions as if they did not directly affect every element of our lives. By ‘we,’ I’m sure the maxim applies to women too, but men are especially alienated from our emotions and feelings. We deny the deepest longings of our souls for the sake of surrender to the cultural flow of ‘lone wolf masculinity,’ which litters every square inch of our society.

Yesterday I listened to an episode of the podcast Hidden Brain titled The Lonely American Man, and my very first thought was Plagiarism!! (sarcastically, of course), because I recently wrote a post on the lack of connectedness and friendships experienced by most American men. Lo and behold, the podcast echoed my exact sentiments, but went further as it interviewed men and researchers who have been studying this trend for a while.

The thing that struck me the most, and dialed up sharp pangs of nostalgia as I listened, was when they interviewed teenage boys, some of whom were in middle school, others were seniors in high school. The younger boys talked about how much they valued their best friend and always got excited to have sleepovers and be with them, sharing their most intimate secrets…and feelings

This is something that struck my ears as most unusual. Not because it’s bad in any way, but because it’s odd to hear a male of any age talk so openly about his feelings. These boys were young enough to have not been programmed to hide their feelings, shoving them down into a stale state of apathy and stoicism. One of them recounted how his best friend had helped him when someone in his family had died and he was able to go to his friend and pour out his grief and cry before him.

Sadly, by the time these boys had gone through high school, the shift had happened. There was a sharp retreat from feelings and emotions; these were replaced by toughness and confidence and the pseudo-ability to not reveal any feelings teeming beneath the surface.

At some point in their developmental years, these boys intuited the notion that feeling things is weak and unmanly. And it’s really no mystery where that stereotype came from: Look at our culture at large and tell me where you see a strong, emotional man with a healthy rein on his feelings. We have Thor-types, the man who is so macho and courageous that he is relatively oblivious to the weather happening within his own heart (if there is any… See also: Cowboys, James Bond and basically any Brad Pitt character). This toughness is also seen in music, as rappers and rockers alike are too tough to do anything but get money, conquer women and be more tough than anyone who would threaten his clique.

Alternatively, men are often portrayed as aloof and idiotic. Think Homer Simpson or literally any family sitcom where the father bumbles through life, unaware of his family, his kids and most of all, himself. Funny? Sure. But deep…? That’s an entirely different question.

The emotional man is almost always painted as an outlier: the emo teenage boy or the homosexual. Tom Hanks seems to cry a lot, but he is assuredly the exception and not the rule.

My point is, the male influences seen across the board in media is anything but emotional, and these influences have spilled over into the day-to-day life of boys and men. The problem with quenching our own feelings, though, is that they may be shoved down in one area, but arise in another like an internal version of Whack-a-Mole. You may shrug off your loneliness and act like you don’t need fellow human beings, only to have it arise late at night in yet another episode of pornography and masturbation. You may say that your parents’ divorce or the names the kids at school called you don’t affect you, only to have the roots of your adult alcoholism trace right back to those very events.

We have the option to either embrace our emotions or escape them, drowning them in a flood of numbing agents and superficiality.

How to Make a Faux Apology

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We all make mistakes and need to ask forgiveness of those we offend. It’s part of life. Unfortunately, we find plenty of ways to mess up the apology, to the point of making it meaningless or turning a bad situation into a relationship killer.

In this video, David Powlison, executive director of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation, Jonathan Parnell, senior pastor of Cities Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota and John Onwuchekwa, senior pastor of Cornerstone Church in Atlanta, Georgia got together to talk about forgiveness and how not to say you’re sorry.

Examples of a faux apology include, “I’m sorry I offended you”,  “I’m sorry you’re offended”, “I’m sorry you feel bad” and “I’m sorry you’re so thin skinned that I can’t be frank with you.”

Parnell called those “qualified apologies” that can be characterized as anytime we throw in something extra to soften the vulnerability we should exhibit when we’re seeking forgiveness.

To keep a humble perspective Powlison advises that we start our apology from a vertical perspective, the apology offered first to God. He said that puts the one asking forgiveness “in a humble place.”

Powlison offered another example of a faux apology that he described as more “nuanced.”  It’s when we ask someone to forgive us and then quickly demand they do so. He says that apology won’t fulfill its purpose because “something that’s meant to be humble ends up being aggressive.”

To make a good apology you must first recognize the difference between apologizing and asking for forgiveness.  “If I accidentally bump into someone in the cafeteria, you’re sorry and you apologize,” Powlison pointed out, “but when I really do something wrong… I ought to name what I did wrong.”

C. S. Lewis made a similar point in an essay on forgiveness where he explains there is a difference between asking for forgiveness and asking to be excused.  Parnell said, “A lot of times when we mean to ask for forgiveness we really just want (the wrong) to be excused. There’s relational harm that we’ve done and we want to pretend that we’ve just bumped into someone. It requires that we put ourselves out there. We are vulnerable.”

Onwuchekwa said a good apology also includes a specific request to be forgiven. He believes it brings closure and acknowledges that the one offended has a right to be mad. “I ask you to forgive me and in that I’m asking for a pardon. We own what we did wrong…What I did was inexcusable. There’s got to be some type of regret… so what that does it affirms the dignity (of the offended). You are worth feeling bad over,” Onwuchekwa said.

Parnell believes the faux apology that quickly demands forgiveness might come from a desire to return harmony to a relationship and move on from the wrong, especially in a marriage setting. It is a faux apology borne out of good intentions.

“God’s word does command us to forgive,” Onwuchekwa acknowledged, “But I think we err when we wrong somebody then we ask for forgiveness and when it takes time, then we take the command of God’s word that they have to forgive….that’s true but not all of God’s truth communicates as well at all times coming from you.”

And in some ways the quick apology short circuits the radical idea of forgiveness.  Parnell said a quick apology “takes away the wonder of forgiveness…You have wronged someone and you’re asking them to pass over that, to absorb that wrong that you’ve done and not to pay you back.”  

Onwuchekwa called that “the grace we get as Christians to show one another.”  

5 Ways Jesus Witnessed to Others

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Have you ever considered learning from how Jesus witnessed to others?

Yesterday I met a couple of young adults from our church for lunch. They wanted to see me interact with our server in order to better understand how to evangelize. They both share their faith but, like most, are nervous about it. We had a delightful time talking with our server, praying for her, asking her about her faith, and leaving her information about our young pros ministry and a Story booklet. They had such a good time they already plan to come back to visit with their new friend next week.

Learning from How Jesus Witnessed

I’m nothing special as a witness, but I know it helps to watch others as we learn. If we want to learn to be like Jesus, it makes sense to learn from Jesus. If we want to tell others the good news about Jesus, we ought to learn from how He shared God’s love with other people. For instance, we read about 40 examples in the Gospels of how Jesus interacted with others. Each is unique. What can we learn from a 30,000-foot look at these?

  • Every encounter was unique. Jesus offered an unchanging message, but He delivered it uniquely to each person and situation. There was no one-size-fits-all, cookie-cutter approach to reaching people. Do we seek to deliver a presentation to others or to adapt the unchanging gospel to communicate with the person in front of us? Yes, this takes more time to learn than just offering a rote presentation, but in the long run it will help the witness to grow and to be more effective in communicating Christ.
  • In the vast majority of encounters Jesus didn’t “preach” at the person; He engaged in a conversation. He did not merely present the truth to others, He asked questions, and answered theirs. Think of the woman at the well, the rich young ruler and so many others. The average person has 27 conversations a day: What if you simply inserted Jesus into your conversations more?
  • Jesus was approachable. He allowed people to come to Him with questions. In the Gospel of Matthew, the majority of conversations Jesus had with others began with the person approaching Him. Are we approachable like that? Do our coworkers, neighbors or others feel comfortable speaking to us about spiritual things?
  • Jesus sought people. He sought to speak with Zacchaeus. He sought His disciples. Who are you seeking to speak with about Jesus?
  • Jesus seized opportunities. When He encountered the woman at the well, He seized the chance to tell her about Himself. When the disciples, Pharisees or others questioned Him, He took such questions as an opportunity to reveal truth to them. What if we started looking daily at every conversation as a ministry opportunity and seized them for the gospel?

If you want to learn more about sharing Jesus with others, check out my new book Sharing Jesus Without Freaking Out. You can see it here.

This article about how Jesus witnessed originally appeared here.

5 Simple Leadership Hacks That Produce More Than You Think

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Sometimes leadership can seem so overwhelming.

In reality, though, leadership is simpler than it first appears.

In many ways, great leaders master some very basic things that other people miss. The advice in this post is so simple you might be thinking “well, my mother used to tell me to do that”.

Maybe that’s the point.

You can have a Ph.D. in leadership and read everything there is on leadership and still not be effective.

And yet there are leaders who have little formal education but who lead powerfully and effectively every day.

Often, these leaders gain influence because they’ve mastered a few basic skills others miss.

Here are 5 of my absolute favorite basic leadership skills that are far too easy to overlook. Some you can start today (as in right now), while one or two may take some time.

Still, these deliver far more than you’d think they would. Own them, and you’ll become a much more effective leader.

1. Make Someone Else The Hero

Few of us have a healthy relationship with ourselves.

The narcissists make it all about them.

Insecure people focus on themselves because they can’t bear to give anyone else air time.

And even people who lack confidence can end up being selfish because their lack of self-esteem means no one else gets attention.

How do you escape the trap of narcissism, insecurity or low self-confidence?

Just make someone else the hero.

I learned this years ago from my friend Reggie Joiner (who does an exceptional job of pushing other people into the spotlight). Recently, Dave Ferguson released an incredible book called Hero Maker. Believe it or not, the key to becoming a reproducing church and creating a generation of leaders behind you is making someone else the hero.

Bottom line? Push other people into the spotlight, and you’ll create leaders, not followers.

This has other applications too. If you’re a preacher, like me, make sure you point to God, not to yourself when you speak. Worry more about whether people connect with God than whether they connect with you.

What else does this principle look like?

Well, if you’re a writer, make your reader the hero. The filter through which I try to run every post I write on this blog is what I call a “helpful” filter. I want the post to help you as a reader. I want you to win.

Think about it. You and I love leaders who point beyond themselves to someone else. Why not be that leader?

So when you struggle with narcissism, insecurity or low self-confidence (and we all do…me too), step aside and make someone else the hero.

It works. Every time

2. Do What You Say You’re Going To Do When You Say You’re Going To Do It

If there’s one piece of advice I want my sons to remember, other than everything I taught them about Jesus, it’s this:

Do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it.

It puts you ahead of about 99% of the planet.

Think back on your last week. Who frustrated you most? Probably the people who didn’t do what they said they were going to do when they said they were going to do it.

Now picture the people you lead. Who are you most likely to promote, reward or even want to hang out with? The people who do what they say they’re going to do when they say they’re going to do it.

Doing what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it is the basis of trust. It’s also the basis for confidence.

Hey…sometimes I’m still the guy who didn’t do what he said he was going to do when he said he was going to do it. But I try so hard not to be that guy.

So what do you do if you struggle in this area? Just stop promising and start delivering.

When your walk catches up to what your talk would have been, reintroduce your talk.

3. Focus On Outcomes

Also in the ‘please stop driving me nuts’ category are people who focus on process, not outcomes.

I realize it’s axiomatic these days to say the journey is more important than the destination. But not always. Really. Come on. What fun is the journey if you end up nowhere with any meaning?

It’s frustrating when you ask someone if something is done and they tell you

Well, I emailed him.

She never got back to me.

I’ve called 5 times.

I think they must have changed their address or something.

And they feel like the project is complete because they tried.

Trying isn’t the same as doing.

Often, I feel like saying “You didn’t hear the question. The questions is Is it done?

A few years ago, I started encouraging the leaders I work with to stop focusing on process, and start focusing on outcomes.

When you focus on outcomes, you eventually stop emailing someone who never returns emails and you text them instead, or call them, or go to their office, or release them and find someone who will help you get the project done.

If you focus on outcomes, you’ll also have a shot at mastering #2. If you don’t, you never will.

And getting things done actually makes the journey more enjoyable, at least in my view.

5 Reasons Why Engagement Is the New Church Attendance

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If you track attendance at your church (and who doesn’t), the vast majority of church leaders are tracking numbers that probably bother them.

That can lead into a death spiral of trying to drive greater attendance, only to discover more disappointment down the road.

The mission of the church is the same in every generation. But the methods we use—our strategy—has to change, as I outlined here.

So what’s one of the biggest changes we’re going to see?

Simple. If you want to see your church grow, stop trying to attract people and start trying to engage people.

In the future church, engagement is the new attendance.

If church leaders put as much effort into trying to engage people in the mission of the church as they used to (or still) put into trying to drive attendance, they would see a huge spike in both engagement and attendance.

Conversely, leaders who focused solely on attendance or misconstrue what engagement is will continue to see declining attendance.

At Connexus Church, where I serve as Founding and Teaching pastor, we’re seeing encouraging spikes in physical and online attendance (the two are not mutually exclusive) at established locations, our online campus and our new location.

The growth in the number of new unchurched people has come for sure by the grace of God, but also after almost five years of focusing on increasing engagement in these seven ways. I also outlined why we made the shift and many people have made the shift in my book, Lasting Impact.

Church leaders, if you cared as much about engagement as you did about attendance, you’d likely see a spike in attendance as your mission grows and expands.

So why is engagement the new attendance? Here are five reasons.

1. Attendance Was Never the Goal

When did we get the idea that church attendance was the ultimate goal?

Flip back to New Testament days.

Jesus never said ‘Attend me.’ He said ‘Follow me.’

The only reason you would follow Jesus (in Jesus’ day) is because you were either intrigued by who he was and what he did, or because you had come to believe that he was who he said he was.

In other words, you were engaged.

You didn’t attend Jesus. You followed him.

A similar dynamic emerged in the first-century church.

Early Christians didn’t attend church. They were the church.

If you look back at the genesis of the Jesus movement, the idea of attendance as a hallmark would have been completely foreign.

You only attended because you were engaged. Period.

Waiting vs. Procrastinating

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Since 2000, over 140 guys have been ‘radically mentored’ around my dining room table. Around the world, another 5,000 guys have had a similar experience. Some mentor poured his cup into their cup. And those guys made a covenant commitment to pour their cups into some younger guys’ cups…when God lets them know they’re ready. Some are now paying it forward. Some are waiting. Some are procrastinating.

Waiting is what you do when something has started but hasn’t yet ended. If you’re just riding around, going nowhere, you’re never stuck in traffic. The thing has to have begun if you’re waiting. And there has to be an end or a next step. In Finding My Way Home, Nouwen says…

“We too can wait only if what we are waiting for has already begun for us. Waiting is never a movement from nothing to something. It is a movement from something to something more… Those who wait had each received a promise that gave them courage and allowed them to wait. They received something that was at work in them, a seed that had started to grow.”

If the ‘seed’ of making disciples and disciple-makers was planted in you, through Radical Mentoring or some other way, a process started. You may be waiting to lead a group, but you’re procrastinating if you’re just sittin’ and soakin’ and not engaging anyone about Jesus…building at least one relationship for spiritual purposes. Investing in someone to help them move a step in their faith journey.

It’s so tempting to play it safe and do nothing for anyone else’s soul. After all, “I have my church, my Sunday School class or small group, my Bible, my salvation, my Heavenly Father to walk through life with.” All about ‘me and mine.’ Except Jesus didn’t point us toward me and mine. He said we should abandon ourselves…even our mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters for the sake of others. For the sake of their souls. For the sake of the Gospel.

Start with prayer. Ask God who He wants you to engage. You might already have a clue. Then start to pray for them intentionally. It’s amazing how God can change the heart of someone we pray for consistently. And you find that as you pray for someone, it’s easier to love them. You can’t minister to someone you don’t love. Praying leads to loving.

And then look for opportunities to serve them. Unconditionally. Don’t make them a project, just make them the focus of your attention and acceptance. Little by little, God may warm your heart and theirs. They won’t care to know about your faith, your God or anything else until they know you care about them. Let God lead wherever He wants. If it’s inviting them to go to church, join your mentoring group, do a Bible study, go on a short-term mission trip, or maybe just have coffee every couple of weeks to talk about God stuff. “Wherever you lead Lord, I will follow. And I want to take this friend with us. Show us where You’d have us go.”

Something changes in us when we invest in others for Kingdom purposes. It’s not why we do it, but it’s a sweet side benefit of following Jesus and not procrastinating.

Scripture: You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others. (2 Timothy 2:22)

Mentor Tip: As a mentor, it’s not your responsibility to ‘manage’ when and where your mentees pay it forward, but if you notice they’re ready to do so but are just procrastinating, it’s OK to give them some encouragement…maybe all they need is a little push…in love from someone who poured into them.

This article originally appeared here.

2018 Easter in Mosul: ISIL Is Gone, Christians Are Back

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For the first time since 2014, Christians in Northern Iraq were able to celebrate Easter without a significant fear that they would be killed. It was four years ago that the Islamic State took control of the region around Mosul and the Nineveh plains. The militant group targeted Christianity destroying churches and the homes of Christians.

About 55,000 Christians fled the Hamdaniya district after ISIL took over. According to local authority figures, about 25,000 have returned, but many are struggling to rebuild.

But the financial hardships did not dim their enthusiasm as thousands of Iraqi Christians walked through the streets of the ancient towns, waving palm and olive branches; praying, singing and remembering the triumphant entry of Jesus Christ. Their chorus: “King of kings and Lord of Lords. Glory! Hallelujah!”

As Open Doors described it, “Today, the world can see and hear the powerful truth—Christians have returned to the Nineveh Plain.”

The turnout for Easter celebrations, particularly in the city of Duhok, included hundreds of local Christians as well as participants from around the world.

Juliana Taimoorazy, Founder and President of the Iraqi Christian Relief Council Taimoorazy, said there is increased awareness in the Assyrian diaspora for reconnecting with the land. There is even a group called Gishru, which she compares to Birthright that is bringing people to Iraq to see the history and reconnect with locals. She told the Jerusalem Post the renewed activity among Christians in Iraq is a sign of better things to come.

“People are sick and tired of business as usual. This is the same across Iraq, among Kurds and Arabs I met. They want to see revival. They want new blood.” Iraq is facing elections in May and Christians will compete for several reserved seats in parliament. Her greatest fear is that the Assyrian Christian minority will become an artifact in a museum rather than a thriving and living community.

“I don’t want the world on the sidelines watching us become extinct. As I was walking and looking at children’s faces and elderly people I saw a community that wants to live and breathe and excel.”

She also seeks to appeal across the numerous denomination lines of Christians in Iraq including Chaldeans, Syriacs and Assyrians. For that she is thankful to organizations like the Philos Project that have shown support for her work, connecting Christian communities in the West with those in the Middle East.

A 25-year-old teacher named Andraws told Open Doors to tell Christians around the world, “Please do not lose hope. Two and a half years we were displaced and we almost lost hope to ever return here. But today, we are here again, because of Jesus; because we had hope in Him,” he said. Standing amidst the thousands of Christians, Andraws added, “As you can see: the Christians have returned to Qaraqosh!”

The Iraqi government has asked the international community for $100bn to reconstruct former ISIL-held areas, but nowhere near that amount has been pledged.

Despite the shortfall, the community came together on Easter to pray, remember Christ’s resurrection and raise money for those hoping for a rebirth of their own.For Father Robert Jerjees in Baghdad, the ringing of church bells on Easter Sunday in the Mosul area is both a relief and blessing. He told Al Jazeera: “[The fact] that our Christian brothers and sisters are coming back to their hometowns and rebuilding their future once more despite huge challenges gives an indication of resilience and the strong will to co-exist in this multireligious country.”

Why We Take the Summer Off Youth Events

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I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion recently around summer and Youth Ministry. I guess that’s because summer is hitting the Northern Hemisphere and many people are gearing up for summer ministry, in whatever form that takes.

For us, we take summer off. Before I get into why we do this, let me just say that I don’t think there is a ‘one size fits all’ approach to ministry, and what works for us might not fit your situation.

If you don’t take summer off, or you have different reasons for taking summer off, please share in the comments section as I would love to hear about what you do!

WE’RE VOLUNTEERING.

As well as doing Youth Min, I’m a stay at home mama and my hubby works full-time as a nurse. (You can read more of our story here and here.) Youth is extra for us, it all comes out of our ‘free time.’ Charles still works over the summer, minus two to three weeks if he can take time off. That time off is prioritized for family time, and hopefully a week away in the sun!

WE NEED TIME OFF.

We love doing Youth and we love the group of kids we have, but by the time school is finishing up for the year we are ready for a break too. We need the break! To be able to have a week (or a month) not thinking about what’s next at Youth, and have some time away from it (mentally as well as physically) is so refreshing.

FAMILIES NEED TIME OFF.

As well as our family needing a break, our students’ families do too! Summer for us is not only end of year, it’s also Christmas and New Year’s (we’re in the Southern Hemisphere, in case you didn’t catch that) and many families head away. Many of our students have very full calendars during the school year with study or sports or music or volunteer work, so summer is a chance for them to have some unstructured time to themselves, too. Families need time to just ‘be’..MINISTRY DOESN’T STOP.

Even when we take a break, ministry continues. Youth stops for two months, but our students know that we are still around if they need someone to talk with or pray for them. Students will still have struggles or unexpected things happening over summer. We want to be available for them if needed, and have the energy for it too.

WE CAN PREP FOR A BIG LAUNCH NEXT YEAR.

As well as giving us a break from thinking about Youth Min, taking summer off also gives us the space to think about Youth Min. Confused?! Let me explain. When you’re constantly thinking about something, or planning for something, sometimes you can get stuck in a rut creatively. Sometimes you just need to step back for a bit to see it again with fresh eyes. We do take time to plan for Youth the following year over summer, but before we do that we spend at least a month not thinking about it at all.

LET’S TALK:

  • What’s your experience? Do you continue Youth through the summer or take some time off?
  • If you continue through the summer, what does that look like for you? How is it different from your regular Youth nights during the year?

This article originally appeared here.

The Musician’s Guide to Playing Spontaneous Worship

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Worship ministry is mostly about getting out of our own way. If we can minimize distraction, be more authentic, build trust and love Jesus, we’ll create an environment where people participate rather than spectate. 

A skill set so desperately needed is leading spontaneous moments.

But let’s set the record straight. By spontaneous I don’t mean unplanned, unprepared, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants worship. For spontaneity to work well, you need a plan for it.

I remember the first time I tried to sing a spontaneous song in a service. I’m fairly certain that angels fled at the sound. Even Jesus turned to Gabriel and was like, “What was that?!?” I spent a grand total of zero minutes preparing for that moment. And it was obvious.

Effective spontaneous leadership isn’t actually spontaneous at all. It’s the result of hard work, practice and planning.

But let’s not worship spontaneity. If you have a problem with the hard work and discipline of arranged songs, something is wrong. There’s a time and place in corporate worship for the three- to four-minute song. Not every song needs to be long, repetitive and drawn out.

Matter of fact, it can be very self-indulgent to do so.

Story Based Worship Planning

Rather, think of your worship set as a story.

A good story has brief scenes and extended scenes, quick camera shots and longer, static ones. It could be said that an effective worship set utilizes multiple approaches. There’s a time to shout & dance for three minutes. And there’s a time to linger for 13. Or, depending on the moment, vice versa.

Effectiveness begins when a musician is ready for both. You know the setlist in advance. You’ve rehearsed your specific parts. You’ve dialed in your tone. You could play the set with your eyes closed. This helps you as a musician rise above the songs and actually worship, sing, prophesy and see throughout the set. You don’t have to be as concerned with the shape of a Dm chord because you’re focused on moving the heart of God.

Learning to be a disciplined musician prepares you for the unplanned. It makes a plan deviation more familiar, comfortable and effective.

Spontaneous worship is important because corporate worship is an encounter with a living God. The Holy Spirit is alive. Yes, He breathes upon our songs, plans, arrangements, staff meetings and details. But we also need to create an environment where our worship sets don’t just operate on auto-pilot.

We’re not just singing about a distant God in Heaven. We’re encountering the Presence of an imminent, glorious, ever-present Savior.

Our eyes are fixed. Our ears are open. Our hearts are ready. For Heaven on earth.

5 Ways Musicians Can Improve Their Spontaneous Worship Skills

Let’s break it down more in practical and spiritual ways. Here are five ways you can improve spontaneous worship moments:

1. Be Aware – There’s nothing worse than a worship musician unaware of what’s going on. Yet it happens more often than not. Musicians doodle, are disengaged and only care about the instrument in front of them. It’s time to be aware of the moment. Know when to play soft, when to be intense. If a pastor is praying, support the vibe with your playing. Serve the moment.

2. Know Your Moment – A lot of worship teams sound like all the musicians are trying to “one up” each other. Rather than sounding like a band, it sounds like a bunch of soloists playing at the same time. Know when to support and when to lead. There may be a time for a guitar solo or more intense tribal drumming. But not all the time. It loses its effectiveness. Know when it’s your time to step out and when you should support. When in doubt, support.

3. Become a Student of Chord Voicings – Just because you know how to impress girls with barre chords doesn’t mean they work. Trust me, there’s more. Develop the skill of knowing multiple voicings for each chord, up and down your instrument. I’m not just talking to guitar players. Everyone can do this. This takes specific practice and dedication. But it offers more color to your sound palate for long, extended moments of worship.

4. Befriend the Holy Spirit – I know, this sounds a little spooky. I’m not saying your instrument needs to speak in tongues. But how can you expect to facilitate Spirit-led worship if you don’t know how the Spirit moves? Do you know His voice? Do you have experience obeying Him? This is important not just for out front vocalists. Imagine if every musician wielded their instrument this way. Imagine if every sound on stage was a response to the never-ending song of the Spirit. What would change?

5. Expand Your Sound – It’s one thing to know how to play your instrument. It’s another to become a student of textures. What can your instrument do? Don’t just know how to play the piano. Expand yourself into the world of software and how to create different textures. Guitars & bass, try some new pedals. Vocalists, vary your vocal tone. Become a musician of many styles. Never stop learning, never stop developing.

Let’s talk about this. How have you improved leading spontaneous worship?

How have you prepared your team for it?

This article originally appeared here.

20 Encouragements for Struggling Church Leaders

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O ministry, where is your sting? Ouch. Right there! And there!

I don’t know what struggle you are facing right now. I’m not sure what your context is. I don’t know how frustrating or how encouraging your elders or board members are. I’m not sure how supportive your family is of the work you do.

But I do know what you know: Ministry can be an enormous blessing and it can be an enormous source of pain and heartache.

People you thought were in it for the long haul have left. Leaders you thought were solid and God-honoring have turned on you and the church. Families have opted to invest their Sunday mornings on the soccer field during their kids’ most faith-formative years. You’ve counseled married couples through their problems only to see their family be torn apart by divorce.

You and your leaders have helped families in financial need only to see them leave a couple weeks later because of their own pride and shame. You’ve preached with everything you’ve got and more only to be criticized a few hours later through an email, or worse—an anonymous note sitting on your office desk.

But what you do is worth it. In spite of all the heartache, in spite of all the pain, you are being used by God and I pray that what follows encourages you to keep stepping forward.

20 Encouragements for Struggling Church Leaders

  1. God used your last sermon or teaching lesson to impact someone’s life no matter how you think it went.
  2. Many people don’t tell you this, but they are thankful for your sacrifice and your dedication.
  3. The storm you’re in isn’t in the forecast forever. It will pass, the sun will come out and things will turn around.
  4. God has called you to be faithful, not “successful.” Don’t let your worth be tied to whatever level of success you think you do or don’t have. Give ministry your all, but let God handle the results.
  5. For every loudmouth critic, there are exponentially more people who support you and trust you.
  6. Conflict is the passageway to relational breakthrough. You can navigate conflict—be quick to listen and slow to anger. Lead with mercy. And in no time, you’ll have an advocate rather than a perceived enemy.
  7. God isn’t done with you yet. He’s just getting started. Keep growing. Keep learning. Plod ahead.
  8. The impact your ministry is going to have, and has had, will be a positive ripple effect on entire families.
  9. Your small gestures of kindness have been used by God to literally save people from giving up.
  10. With every week you have served your congregation, you have made another deposit in the “trust account.” Keep showing up. Don’t give up.
  11. The person who is insulting you is likely dealing with a hurt that isn’t at all about you.
  12. “[You] are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that [you] would walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:10 [modified] Your good ideas aren’t even your ideas. They were the Lord’s. So just walk in them and give Him the credit and the glory!
  13. For every challenge, there is an opportunity. See the latter as the way forward.
  14. More people are praying for you than you realize.
  15. God is with you. The Almighty infinite God is with you. Yes. You. He will never leave you or forsake you.
  16. You have room to grow in every area of your life. You can become a better leader. You can become a better communicator. You’re not at your ceiling.
  17. If you’re willing to let go, God will turn your past and present brokenness into a future ministry opportunity.
  18. If you’re struggling, try this: Send a text of gratitude to three people in your church. Sometimes all we need is to get the focus off ourselves and onto being a blessing to someone else.
  19. Future church leaders will point to you as a key influence in their lives.
  20. You are a child of God. Your heavenly Dad loves you.

Encourage Another Church Leader

If this encouraged you, bless another church leader by sending it their way.

This article originally appeared here.

4 Leadership Realities in Times of Transition

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There are some common occurrences during times of change in an organization. If a leader doesn’t understand them, the chance for a successful transition is diminished, people remain frustrated and progress is stalled.

Leader, if you’re leading in a time of transition here are four things to remember.

And, plan accordingly.

Miscommunication isn’t unusual.

You should make every attempt to communicate in ways everyone can hear and understand. This requires intentionality. You’ll have to get better in time. But, there will simply be times not everyone will know what’s going on – —and, that can be frustrating.

Isn’t this true in your own household during certain seasons? When our boys were young and into sports, school and church activities—plus we both worked in busy jobs—there were days it seemed Cheryl and I were just passing each other in the hallway of our home.

These seasons shouldn’t last long before we intentionally slow down and catch up with each other, but they don’t mean our marriage (or the team we lead) is dysfunctional. They are seasons.

Misunderstanding is normal.

And, it makes sense when miscommunication is occurring. People only know what they know. They don’t know any more. So, when all the information hasn’t been delivered, or there is too much information to keep track of it all, some people are going to become confused. That’s normal too.

There will be blurred lines of responsibility as people scramble to keep up. You can and should structure, plan and strategize along the way, but not every age will ever be covered. That’s the reality of change. It leads into an unknown and you can’t prepare for it completely.

And, here’s the hard reality. Not everyone will make it during these days of transition. They can’t live with the tension of the unknown. It could be their choice—and certainly that’s a preferred way, but it could require a hard decision on behalf of the leader.

Missed opportunities are standard.

Some things will have to go undone. You can’t be everywhere and do everything.

That’s hard for leaders and the teams they lead. It’s especially difficult when you have to let go of something you enjoy or something that has a tradition behind it.

But, to play off the old cliche, you can’t keep doing ALL the same things and expect to get different results. And, you can’t keep doing all the same things and introduce change to the organization either.

Mistakes can be expected.

When you are leading into new territories, and the team has never been somewhere before, there will naturally be mistakes made. Don’t panic! It’s part of the deal.

And, some of the best learnings are from mistakes. Your next best moments as an organization may be realized only when you risk the possibility of failure. Don’t be afraid to let them happen. Obviously, you don’t want to cause them, but they are a part of times of change and transition.

Again, I’m not suggesting we don’t work to avoid all of these long-term. We should continually work to improve communication and cooperation on our teams. It is helpful, however, to keep these in mind and remind people as a part of your vision-casting for change. If you address these on the front-end, and periodically throughout the change process, it can help alleviate friction and frustration.

This article originally appeared here.

Administrative Assistants: Church Member or Not?

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This debate has gone on for years. Should a church administrative assistant be a member of the same church, or is it better to hire someone from outside the church? Here are some of the arguments I’ve heard on both sides.

Church Member: Yes

  1. They know the congregation well. They know names and stories, and they know who’s related to whom. That information can prove invaluable.
  2. They often know the church history well. Every church has a history, and it’s always good to have some knowledge of that history. A new pastor can benefit from someone who has that knowledge.
  3. They’re available to help on Sunday. Sometimes the pastor needs immediate help on Sunday, and a church member assistant is there on the spot to help.
  4. They can bring consistency to the office and to the church. That’s especially the case if the administrative assistant has been there long-term.
  5. The church already knows potential assistants. The learning curve for an assistant won’t be long, and the church won’t need time to get to know the new hire.

Church Member: No

  1. It’s sometimes hard to be a pastor and a boss at the same time. The pastor will have to be the boss at some points, and that’s tougher to do when the assistant is a church member.
  2. Any pastor/assistant conflict will likely affect several others in the church. That’s inevitable if the admin assistant has family in the church.
  3. It’s almost impossible for the assistant to stay neutral in times of church conflict. Being a church member often trumps being an assistant in those cases—and the congregational conflict becomes office conflict, too.
  4. Sundays can inadvertently become “work” days for the admin assistant. That’s the only day many church members see assistants—and they need them to know stuff right then. Assistants often thus find it hard to worship that day.
  5. It’s more difficult to fire a church member. You hope that’s never necessary, but it happens—and problem #1 in this section then kicks in.

OK, what are your thoughts? Where do you land on this issue?

This article originally appeared here.

Planning, Planting and Pastoral Ministry

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My dad carried a little note pad with him throughout the entirety of my childhood. I watched him write down what he had to accomplish and then observed him systematically doing all that he had planned to do. I never asked where he learned to do this. He would often tell me that so much of life was “praying, planning and doing.” I cared very little about learning this important lesson for myself until after I was converted in my 20s. I’m a very different person than my dad in a number of ways. I am free-spirited. I am also, at times, the absent-minded professorial type—the guy who would rather live in his head than on a notepad. I seem to work better with a sense of chaos around me than I do in a quiet and organized environment. However, much of what I am most comfortable with has had to change for me over the years.

Tim Keller rightly notes that when a man is called to plant a church or pastor a smaller church in a rural community, he has to learn to “work with musicians, craft and lead worship, speak at every men’s retreat, women’s retreat and youth retreat, write all the Bible studies and often Sunday School curriculum, train all the small group leaders, speak at the nursing home, work with your diaconate as they try to help families out of poverty, evangelize and welcome new visitors to the church, train volunteers to do some (but not all) of all of the above tasks, and deal with the once-a-month relational or financial crisis in the church.”1 All of this means that the planter/solo-pastor needs to learn to be a planner. The Scriptures have much to say about the importance of planning. Consider the following:

1. Planning Is the Divine Pattern. The Triune God planned the world and all of the events of human history in his inner eternal counsel. The Westminster Shorter Catechism explains that the decrees of God are “his eternal purpose, according to the counsel of his will, whereby, for his own glory, he hath foreordained whatsoever comes to pass.” Everything that happens in time and space happens according the eternal wisdom of God. The Apostle Paul speaks of the work of Christ in reconciling all things in heaven and earth as being God’s “plan for the fullness of time” (Eph. 1:10) and “the plan of the mystery hidden for ages” (Eph. 3:9). Every single part of creation, providence and redemption have been planned by God and executed in time. Just as the living God set apart a 6-and-1 pattern of work and rest (Ex. 20:4), so He sets apart the pattern of planning and executing plans for us.

2. Plan Everything. A church planter and solo pastor must think about the requisite planning for worship services, outreach events, fellowship meals, counseling sessions, small groups and committee (ministry team) structures, Sunday school curriculum, website content, communication channels (i.e., newsletters, emails, texts, planning software), visitor follow up and assimilation, book table, coffee, etc. There is nothing from the front door greeter ministry to the new members’ class that ought not receive a due amount of forethought and planning. Everything that we do sends a message; and, therefore, requires a great deal of thoughtful planning. Many of the members of the church will not understand this aspect of pastoring a smaller church. That should not discourage the planter or pastor from giving adequate attention to every part of the church.

3. Seek Wise Counsel Prior to Planning. Nothing should be planned without some measure of seeking counsel. This can come in many forms; but we must always remember, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Prov. 11:14). The pastor of a smaller congregation should seek counsel from older and wiser men—men who have a long track record of pastoral ministry and experience. Too many young ministers are enamored by the young, flashy, seemingly dynamic leaders of the world. The reality is that most of them burn out or fall away in time. It is the older, wiser, more patient, godlier men whose counsel we should be seeking after.

Youth Ministry May Be Hard, but It’s Not Difficult

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The single most common issue I hear from student ministry leaders is about the busy lives and schedules of students. It almost makes people give up. It’s hard and there are no easy answers.

Other issues include culture, eroding family values, less overall connection to the church, and church folk who seem apathetic. Add to this the time pressures of daily life. Balancing ministry—full-time, part-time or volunteer with home life, work and relationships. I know firsthand how wearing so many hats in ministry can make a person weary.

If you’re still reading past those first two depressing paragraphs, here’s the good news. Though student ministry may be hard, it’s not difficult. There are really just two or three simple ingredients.

Here are some definitions of student ministry.

  • Participating with God’s work in the life of another human being.
  • An adult who loves Jesus and loves students.
  • Helping to birth a student into adulthood.
  • The purpose of student ministry is to help students develop into fully mature disciples of Jesus.
  • Youth groups are designed to help students find their place in the church.

The bottom line is that student ministry, at its core, is about walking with students as they journey through life. Because each of us is uniquely gifted and connects at different levels, this can happen in numerous ways.

It’s easy to grasp. Student ministry is about paying attention to some individuals from the next generation. Be excited to see them, ask questions, listen, learn and love them.

Student Ministry may be hard work, but it’s not difficult. Here are some of the simple things you can do today:

  • Text some students a scripture verse and let them know you are praying for them.
  • Set up a prayer chart for the students in your church. Pray for each one by name for a month.
  • Go out for pizza the next day they are off from school.
  • Show up for a game or event.
  • Encourage them through social media.
  • Take a risk, and ask a tough question—help hold them accountable.
  • Serve as a volunteer during a weekly ministry program.
  • Meet with them weekly—to help support the ministry to students through the church.

Most anyone can do these things. It’s not difficult.

Try to remember what is was like going through middle school and high school. Get some concrete memories. Then try to respond to students through God’s word at work in you, the way you would have liked someone to respond to you back then. Students want to be noticed, nurtured and loved. I once heard that students will gravitate toward the oldest person who will take them seriously.

Help them see Jesus through your words, your actions and your life. When they get older, they won’t necessarily recall lessons, quotes and scriptures, but they will recall your life, actions and faithfulness. And they will seek to model their lives after yours.

In a sense, every Christian believer is in “student ministry.” We are all called to teach the next generation. For those leading specific ministries to students, it may be hard to find ways to incorporate other adults into your team, but keep trying  Ask, inspire, connect and provide a framework for them to participate. It may be the most important role you play.

Student ministry is hard—but it’s not difficult. It’s simple really. Pray that God would give you a heart for the basics today. Love teens into the Kingdom.

This article originally appeared here.

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