I Agree

March 15, 2018

I agree.

Two words.

It should be an easy thing to say, right? But so often there’s more that divides us than unites us. More people we argue with on Facebook than sit down for coffee with. More times we shout than listen. More to fight about than celebrate.

I agree. It shouldn’t be so hard to say, but it is.

A few months back, I was at a concert where one of the speakers shouted a statement to the crowd. I honestly don’t even remember what was said, but in response, everyone there—10,000+ people—answered with a resounding: Amen!

10,000 people, 10,000 voices, 10,000 different lives all agreeing on the same thing. It was powerful. I get chills even now thinking about it. Why? Because in today’s divided world, to agree on anything has become foreign.

Immigration.
Abortion.
Gun control.
The death penalty.
Gay rights.
Racism.
Feminism.
Climate change.
Healthcare.

A topic comes to the surface and we draw our lines in the sand as quick as we possibly can. There’s so much that divides our country right now. That divides our world. We’re so broken. Politically. Culturally. Spiritually. Is it even possible to agree on anything anymore? Or are we divided beyond repair?

Maybe.

But maybe not.

Question: What if we put as much effort into finding common ground as we do picking apart each other’s arguments? Instead of automatically focusing on what makes us different, we chose to celebrate what makes us the same? What if we chose to listen? Chose to respect instead of belittle someone else’s point of view. What if we loved each other as broken, messed up people, not just because we fall on the same side of the political spectrum.

Do you disagree with someone? Instead of distancing yourself, befriend them. Sit down and listen to them. It’s harder to hate someone you’ve grabbed coffee with. More difficult to judge when you’ve heard someone’s story, and not just the pretty parts.

Too often we write off people that we don’t agree with as being evil, but is that really our job? Is our job to poke holes in every opinion that doesn’t totally line up with ours? Often we’d rather tear people down than try to understand.

To be clear, this doesn’t mean watering down or changing our views, actually the opposite. If you’re a Christian—dig into God’s Word, continue to grow in your faith, hold on to God’s truth—and if you’re not, be passionate about your convictions, continue to wrestle with the hard questions.

Being lukewarm on every issue isn’t the answer. Understanding is.

That moment at the concert was so powerful because it was a show of unity. Everyone agreeing on one thing. For just a moment, all 10,000 of us felt more human.

Two simple words.

A world of difference.

I agree.

This article originally appeared here.

10 Ways to Increase Intimacy in Marriage

Scott Kedersha

March 15, 2018

Most of us would like to experience intimacy in marriage. No couple has ever said “I do” with dreams of sleeping in separate bedrooms. But a recent article in the Wall Street Journal claims the secret to a happy marriage is two master bedrooms.

“Build two master bedrooms and you get extra elbow room!”

Who gets married with dreams of having extra elbow room?!?!

Even if you don’t want two master bedrooms in your home, intimacy doesn’t happen accidentally. You must be intentional to increase intimacy in marriage.

Most couples will only have one master bedroom, but few will experience intimacy in marriage like they desire and God intends.

10 Ways to Increase Intimacy in Marriage

Here’s the good news: A little bit of effort goes a long way. You can experience more intimacy in marriage. Following are 10 ways to experience more intimacy with your spouse.

1. Spend quality time together as a couple.

This doesn’t merely mean you sit on the couch and watch TV. Try new activities, adventures, dates and make your marriage your highest priority relationship. Try something creative—shared experiences allow you to grow in intimacy.

Get 124 Killer Date Night Ideas that will help you experience more quality time together as a couple.

2. Ask insightful questions of each other.

Go beyond simple yes-no questions and learn to be a student of your spouse. Live with them in an understanding way by seeking to know them on a more personal level (1 Peter 3:7).

When Kristen and I go on date nights, we often fall into the rut of talking only about kids and work. I want to continue to know my wife and be known by her beyond parenting and work. Ask a combination of serious and fun questions. We all used to do this when we dated our spouse before marriage—recapture your curiosity.

Here are 12 questions you can ask your spouse. Or check out 88 Great Conversation Starters for Husbands and Wives.

3. Pray.

“God, please show me what it means to be intimate with my spouse. Please give me patience and understanding. I lack wisdom and discernment in this part of our marriage, so please help me to be an intimate spouse.” God will honor our prayers when we ask for wisdom (James 1:5).

Things I’ve Failed to Do When People Left Our Church

Mark Altrogge

March 15, 2018

I have been a pastor in the same church for over 30 years. Over the years many have joined our church. But over the years, I have witnessed a number of people leaving church, for all kinds of reasons.

Some left when they graduated college or to take a new job or move closer to their children or other “good” reasons. Others left for reasons I felt were maybe not so good—for doctrinal reasons, or they felt a need for a change. And some left because they had an “offense” toward me—they felt I had handled something poorly or wrongly.

One time many years ago, in my arrogance as a young pastor, I thought that our church was the best in town. That our church was the closest to a “New Testament Church.” So why would anyone want to go to an “inferior” church? Even if it was a good church, why leave the best church?

One unemployed carpenter told me he was going to move his family to Houston where there were a lot of construction opportunities. I told him that since he didn’t know if there were any New Testament churches in Houston, it would be better to stay in our church and take a job at McDonald’s. At least he would still be in a NT church. How stupid was that? He moved to Texas. Probably one of the best things he ever did.

Fortunately God convicted me a year or so later, that I should ask his forgiveness. He had either moved back or was visiting so I called him, we got together, I asked his forgiveness for my arrogance and for how I made it so hard for him to leave and he graciously forgave me. There were several others at the time I had sinned against in similar ways, and they also agreed to meet and they too forgave me.

Well, you’d think I would have learned my lessons. But in recent years and months and weeks I’ve been freshly convicted of some things and reached out to some folks who left our church, and they have graciously met with me, shared with me and taught me some valuable lessons about why we sometimes see people leaving church. I’d like to share them with you. So what should you do…

When People Are Leaving Church

If you know someone is offended at you, ask if you can meet and hear them out.

Jesus said…

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. MT 5:23-24

Why are we so slow to do this? People have left our church because they were offended at me—felt I didn’t handle a situation right, or didn’t care for them in crisis, and I didn’t call them. I figured I had done all I could, I didn’t intentionally hurt them, etc., and they were angry at me, but that was essentially something they had to deal with. I had done all I knew to do. In one case, I contacted the individual, but when they shared their perspective I kept saying things like, “But remember, I did this and I said that.” Defending myself. I hadn’t done anything wrong. That didn’t help.

Listen. Really listen.

Then someone said I should meet with them and just listen. Take notes. Don’t defend myself. Don’t make excuses. Really try to hear them and ask God to convict me and show me where I sinned. Not to put the blame on them.

It was hard for me to do that, because of my inclination to defend myself. But when I tried to really listen and see it from their perspective, God opened my eyes and showed me a number of areas in which I had sinned in the situation. And here’s the key: IN RETROSPECT, I could see how I had really blown it with this person. I didn’t maliciously try to hurt them, but I had really handled the situation wrongly. And God gave me the grace to take notes, then ask their forgiveness for a number of ways I had blown it.

The 6 Things That Say ‘Welcome to Church’

Bob Ditmer

March 15, 2018

How do you say “Welcome to Church!” ? The second biggest church attendance day of the year is just around the corner. What will your church be doing Easter Sunday to make guests feel welcome?

LifeWay Research asked 1,000 pastors what their churches do to welcome guests. The average pastor said their church does six different things.

More than 9 in 10 churches provide an opportunity to meet the pastor and have greeters at the entrance of their building.

A majority ask guests to complete cards (83 percent), have a central location where guests can learn about the church (78 percent), set aside time during the service for regular attenders to welcome guests (69 percent) and periodically host information sessions for new people to learn more about the church (65 percent).

Fewer pastors say their church has books in the pew for all attendees to indicate their presence (44 percent), have greeters in the parking lot (24 percent) or ask guests to stand in the worship service (17 percent).

Around 2 in 5 churches (42 percent) say they offer a gift to visitors. Of those who use gifts, the most popular are a mug or cup (38 percent), food (25 percent), a welcome packet about the church (25 percent) or a pen (23 percent).

Less popular gift items include a bag (18 percent), a book (14 percent), a bookmark (5 percent), a gift card (5 percent) or a Bible (4 percent).

One in 10 churches say they do something else to welcome guests, such as following up by mail (2 percent), with a personal visit (2 percent), with a phone call (1 percent) or with an email (1 percent).

Virtually every church does something. Fewer than 1 percent admit making no effort to welcome guests.

Perhaps as important as what you should do for guests to say welcome to church is what you should not do. Earlier this year the Lewis Center for Church Leadership compiled 4 Reasons Visitors Don’t Return.

Inwardly friendly: The church is friendly but only with each other. Don’t let your visitor feel like an intruder.
Uninspiring worship: There is a sense that folks are there out of obligation and not because they expect to experience God’s transforming love and grace.
Vulture syndrome: Don’t let visitors feel like there’s a target on their back to fill a need in your church.
No ministries: Even though a visitor isn’t likely to commit on Day One, the fact of the matter is many visitors are looking for ways to get involved. Even if they enjoy the worship experience or the Sunday School class they often do not return because nothing exists for their children.

LifeWay’s Research also found that larger churches tend to welcome guests in different ways than smaller churches. Why would smaller churches be less likely to say “Welcome to Church!”?

Those with an attendance of fewer than 50 are the most likely to say they have an opportunity for guests to meet the pastor after the service (98 percent) and ask guests to stand during the worship service (22 percent).

Meanwhile, pastors of churches with an attendance of more than 250 are the most likely to say they have cards for guests to complete (96 percent), have a central location for guests to learn more about the church (88 percent), periodically host information sessions for new people (85 percent), set aside a time for regular attenders to welcome guests (76 percent), have greeters in the parking lot (57 percent) and offer gifts to visitors (59 percent).

And then there is the sensitive topic of “to stand or not to stand.”

Thom S. Rainer, the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources, said specific times of greeting during the worship service is one of the most polarizing methods of welcoming guests. If not done extremely well, those moments can often be awkward for the people churches are trying to welcome to church.

“Stand-and-greet times could be part of a welcoming experience for guests, but church members would need clear and firm guidance on being friendly to guests before and after the service,” he said. “Friendliness only during stand-and-greet times can do more harm than good.”

Regardless of church size, LifeWay’s findings show pastors recognize the importance of guest being welcome to church and want to make the most of the opportunity with a guest when it comes, and Easter Sunday is one of those moments.

Should Your Church Have Semester-Based Small Groups?

Mark Howell

March 15, 2018

There are no problem-free small group systems, models or strategies. And there is an upside and a downside to everything.

Because of the popularity of both the sermon-based system and the free market system (two fairly common small group ministry systems) the semester system certainly has its advocates. Because of the inherent challenges of the semester system, it also has its detractors.

As I’ve done with sermon-based, free market and other systems, I’ll attempt a fair and balanced analysis of the semester system in this post.

What is the semester system?

Before I begin the analysis, what is the semester system?

Essentially, semester-based is a strategy designed to take advantage of three (sometimes two) well-timed opportunities to help people connect with a group. Typically the fall, winter and spring seasons with the summer off. Each semester is usually 10 to 12 weeks.

Semester-based is also a strategy that is used in combination with other concepts (like sermon-based or free-market) to provide a more complete small group delivery system.

Like every strategy, semester-based has some real advantages. There are also some disadvantages that need to be acknowledged. As I’ve written in the past, there is no problem-free solution. Wise leaders simply choose the set of problems they’d rather have. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of this strategy:

What are the advantages of a semester-based system?

Semester provides a built-in opportunity to promote group life three times a year. Generally those three times are just after school starts in the fall, January when people are naturally primed to want to turn over a new leaf, and about Easter (depending on when the holiday falls). For churches used to only talking about groups once a year, this alone will take the church in a whole new direction.
Each semester offers an easy to spot on-ramp to small group participation. These on-ramps are often positioned as first or second steps out of the auditorium.
Because each semester is 10 to 12 weeks long, it provides a relatively easy commitment for people who are being encouraged to try a group.
Because the commitment is only for the semester, it allows an easy way out of a less-than-ideal match with the others in the group.

What are the disadvantages of a semester based system?

A 10- to 12-week commitment seems short (especially in comparison to a year), but six-week commitments have been found more palatable for second steps out of the auditorium. Lyman Coleman pointed out that six weeks is short enough to get my commitment and long enough to begin to establish connection. Important Note: It should be noted that the campaign-driven system takes advantage of a six-week commitment in launching new groups with the understanding that if the new group is going well, it’s easy to continue meeting.
The easy off-ramp provided is another important disadvantage to note. While providing multiple on-ramps every year is a real advantage, providing an easy out after only 10 to 12 weeks sometimes brings an end to a group just as a genuine sense of connection begins.
A major disadvantage is that the upside of three big-time promotional periods a year comes with the downside of the work involved in recruiting new leaders or confirming continuing leaders, confirming new offerings (in the case of free-market), producing catalogs (print or web-based), etc. The horsepower required to pull this off should not be underestimated.
The semester idea requires a promotional phase for each semester. Like anything else, if you want people to respond, you’ll need to narrow the focus on those weeks and allow the upcoming beginning of the new semester to be the priority. You can’t get traction if it is simply added to the list of the other events and activities being promoted.

Summary

There probably are other advantages and disadvantages to the semester-based strategy. These are just a few that are easily identified. I suggest that you pull together a team and have a no-holds-barred discussion. To prepare for the discussion, I suggest reading Activate, Sticky Church and Dog Training, Fly Fishing and Sharing Christ in the 21st Century. Combined, you’ll pick up some very transferable ideas that will help you implement the strategy if you decide to adopt the semester-based concept.

This article originally appeared here.

Jim Caviezel on the Sin Pastors and Actors Struggle With

Bob Ditmer

March 15, 2018

Actor Jim Caviezel said he wants to be liked but that’s not his primary goal. He told ChurchLeaders, “The greatest sin of many pastors and actors is wanting to be liked…so you have to ask yourself if you want to be loved by many or loved by one (God). I talk about myself and what I want to do and my goals, but when I come back to Jesus and what he wants me to do, I have to be obedient to that.”

Caviezel stars in the upcoming movie Paul, Apostle of Christ. The faith-based film opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, March 23. He said playing the role of Luke taught him a deep lesson about forgiveness.

The movie follows the epic story of Paul, a man who went from persecutor of the church to a follower of Christ.

The movie is set in a Roman prison where Paul, played by James Faulkner, is awaiting execution under Emperor Nero. Mauritius, the ambitious prison prefect, played by Olivier Martinez, can hardly see what threat this broken man poses. Once he was Saul of Tarsus, the high-ranking and brutal killer of Christians. Now his faith rattles Rome.

At great risk, Luke the Physician (Jim Caviezel) visits the aged Paul to comfort and tend to him—and to question, to transcribe and to smuggle out Paul’s letters to the growing community of believers. Amid Nero’s inhuman persecution, these men and women will spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ and change the world.

Caviezel told ChurchLeaders that playing Luke gave him specific insight into how God would have us all respond to being wronged. “How I feel when I see a wrong, what I want to do and what God wants me to do, those are two completely different things.” Caviezel believes that struggle is born in pride. “Pride keeps us from experiencing being more whole with Christ mentally, physically and in the spirit.”

Caviezel, who starred as Jesus in the 2004 movie The Passion of the Christ, said his faith in Jesus is real and sustains him in a difficult career.

“I need him every day. I feel the lack of love in the world and in myself at times and I’m looking for purpose like everyone else. In this business that doesn’t suffer fools, when the world kicks you, I know that I have my personal Savior right there with me and he feels the pain that I feel.”

The veteran actor said he keeps grounded in Hollywood by knowing Christ is all he has.

“I look to Peter in these words, ‘Lord, where would I go? You have the words of everlasting life.’ I have nowhere else to go.”

Playing Jesus would be intimidating and challenging enough but Caviezel said he almost died during the filming of the Passion:

“I thought I would put the makeup on and prepare the same way and we would shoot it in studio and suddenly I realized I was in a fight for my life. It was very cold and I got hypothermia. The makeup burned my skin and I caught pneumonia in both lungs. I was struck by lightning and eventually had two heart surgeries including open-heart.”

Playing Luke wasn’t as dangerous or life threatening but that’s not to say matters of life and death aren’t addressed. Caviezel said, “I try to bring as many people into God’s fold as possible.”

Rick Warren: How to Keep the People You’re Reaching

Rick Warren

March 14, 2018

Every church loses people. It’s a natural part of living in our current culture. Two to three percent will likely move away—more if you’re in an urban area. One or two percent will die. And some will just fade away and stop attending without connecting to another local body. Obviously these figures and how relatively successful you are at reaching people will vary depending on your local context.

You can’t stop people from moving. You certainly can’t stop them from dying. But there is one group of people you can do something about. Some of the people who leave are people who started attending, became regular attenders or even members, and then fell away within a few months because they never really became rooted. They simply didn’t stick.

There are only two ways to experience net growth as a church: reach new people, and keep the people you reach. And you must focus on doing both of these.

Reaching people who are new

The biggest single difference between churches that are growing and churches that are struggling is that growing churches invite new people well. Promoting your church through advertising is a great idea, but most of the people who actually walk through the doors and experience what your church family is all about are people who were personally invited by a friend or family member.

I believe social media is an extremely powerful medium for outreach because of its relational nature. Running a traditional advertisement in a newspaper or on television will give your church exposure in the community, and some may attend as a direct result of seeing a particular promotion. But with social media, the story of your church will spread from friend to friend, by natural referral.

It is interesting that an overwhelming percentage of people who visit your church on a Sunday do so because of the personal invitation of a friend or family member. But most people don’t actually join a church as a result of being invited by a friend. People commit to membership for other reasons. People join after they’ve listened to the preaching and the music, gotten involved in a small group, or discovered something about your church that connected them more deeply.

Getting the word out about your church and equipping your current attenders to invite their friends is only half of the equation. You must also focus on helping people stick long-term, and the one single key to this is relationships.

Keeping the people you reach

People will attend your church because of an invitation, or perhaps because of something they’ve seen or heard concerning your teaching content or your approach to community outreach. But people stay when they develop a deeper and more personal connection to the body. They will come because they’ve been invited, but they will stay when they feel personally invested in at least two ways:

They’ve developed closer friendships in a small group.
They’ve devoted their time, talent and treasure to an area of ministry.

Never confuse a crowd with a church. A crowd is not a church. A crowd can be turned into a church, but a crowd is not automatically a church.

Purpose driven churches are very intentional about moving people inward and outward at the same time.

We move people inward from the community to the crowd by creating an inviting culture.
We move people from the crowd to the congregation by asking them to commit to membership and by joining a small group.
We help people in the congregation stay committed by developing the habits and disciplines of a disciple.
We move committed people into our core by involving them in ministry to others.
And we send the core back into the community on mission to reach others for Jesus.

Your church members must be equipped to invite others to attend and to belong. And then to keep those who belong, the leaders of your church must work very hard on two particular tasks—plugging people into groups, and connecting people in a ministry. The new attenders who will be part of your church a year or two from now are those who join and group and who join a team.

After a big day, like Easter, when you’ve had an enormous influx of new visitors, it is vital to make it as easy as possible for people to know how to take the next steps of finding a small group and volunteering in an area of ministry.

We never move beyond the task of reaching people who are new, and we never give up the ministry of connecting people more deeply in relationships within the body of Christ. This is how churches grow—they work at reaching people, and they work at keeping the people they’re reaching.

Why We Need to Sing in Worship Even When We Do Not Know or Like the Song

Chuck Lawless

March 14, 2018

why do we sing in church — Lightstock #324229

I’ve been there, and you likely have, also. You’ve never heard the song your church is singing. Or, you’ve heard it but don’t like it. The temptation is to silently mimic the words or not to sing at all.

Here’s why we need to sing anyway:

It’s right to sing God’s praises. Even if it’s not our favorite song, it’s right to join the people of God in singing God’s praises (Psa. 96). He delights in the singing of His people.
Not singing sends the wrong signal. Here’s what it could look like…anger…burden…distraction… Worse yet, it comes across as arrogance. And, if you’re not singing just because you don’t like the song, that really does border on arrogance.
Some songs you don’t like are quite biblical. Most of us choose songs we like on the basis of the style and the melody, not on the words. Sometimes the songs we don’t like are straight out of the Bible—so not singing them takes on more significance.
We can learn a song best by singing it. I now love some songs I didn’t like when I first heard them, and I’m glad I at least tried to sing them. The same can happen for you.
We model worship for others as we sing. All of us model something by the way we worship. Some show the joy of encountering God. Others make worshiping God look boring and disconnected. Singing helps others to worship Him well.
Singing with the rest of the congregation promotes and reflects unity. Churches already struggle enough with internal conflict. Sometimes, in fact, members who don’t sing are intentionally sending a signal of disapproval and division. Don’t play that game.
Singing encourages the ones leading the singing. Few things are as discouraging for worship leaders as looking at a congregation with non-singers—and, from what I understand from worship leaders, they seldom miss seeing them. We don’t really hide our silence.

For what other reasons would you encourage singing?

This article originally appeared here.

Your Guide to the Sabbath Dinner

Victoria Beech

March 14, 2018

The dinner table has an amazing ability to keep the family grounded, connected and centered around what matters most.

Sadly, for many families, the effort of gathering for a family meal on an ordinary day is just too much. Parents have to work late. Kids have soccer practice or band practice or dance practice. In the frantic effort to juggle schedules and make sure nobody goes hungry, it’s often easier to feed the kids fast food in the car, or to have everyone grab something out of the freezer on their way through the kitchen.

Though we know there’s something wrong with this state of affairs, we don’t always realize how serious the problem is. Turns out that family meals aren’t just about food; they’re about nourishment of all kinds. That includes physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual nourishment. Just ask the Jewish families.

For centuries they’ve been gathering around what is known as the Shabbat meal—to rest, celebrate and strengthen family ties. One can argue that regular Shabbat dinners is what helped the Jews preserve their identity during the many years of exile. In a sense, it was their survival mechanism. In a time when they didn’t have a temple or synagogue, or strong leaders, they had each other and their faith, and the Sabbath table is where their connection to God, each other and the faith of their fathers was renewed and reinforced.

I wonder what the rediscovery of this ancient practice of rest, renewal, celebration and remembrance will mean for today’s families. There’s plenty of evidence that points to the unparalleled power of families gathering around the dinner table to share a hearty meal and a heartfelt conversation.

For example, when the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse studied ways to keep kids from destructive behaviors, family dinners were more important than church attendance, more important even than grades at school. The Center has repeated that study several times since then, and every year, eating supper together regularly as a family tops the list of variables that are within our control.

AS YOU CAN SEE, THERE’S A LOT MORE TO FAMILY DINNERS THAN MEETS THE EYE.

Perhaps adding a Shabbat meal at least once a quarter or even once a month will make a big difference for you and your children as you gather around the table to enjoy each other’s company, reflect on all that God has done and provided for you, and give thanks for the blessings in your lives.

Since the task of adding a new ritual into your family’s culture and routine will most likely seem daunting in the beginning, here’s an easy to follow guide*, the first step that will hopefully set you on a life-changing journey.

We’ve been celebrating Shabbat as a family each Friday for the past nine years. We love it, and couldn’t imagine our week without it. If you’ve not come across Shabbat, it’s a Jewish ritual, a Friday night meal with prayers and blessings. Our two children, aged 4 and 5, join in with the songs, the actions and some of the Bible verses we say. We’ve shared it with lots of different people, Christian and otherwise, and we’ve adapted it as we’ve gone along to keep it accessible and relevant to everyone present.

Whenever I mention that we do Shabbat on a Friday, everyone always asks: “Why do you celebrate Shabbat? Are your family Jewish?” Now, while my granddad is Jewish, although not a practicing Jew, I first experienced Shabbat at the home of a family that kind of adopted me when I was a student. We first started celebrating Shabbat as a way of starting a day of rest as a family together. Nine years and two children later, we find it’s a good way to have a moment in time together as a family with God—a great ritual for developing faith at home.

The easiest way to explain what we do is to share our own mini-service along with some ideas of the principles we’ve found and how you might apply these ideas in your own family rituals. The words in italics are instructions and explanations, everything else is said out loud.

WELCOME

This meal marks the beginning of a time of rest as a family together. We stop and rest from our work, just like God rested from His work of creation. We celebrate the freedom God has given us, just as He brought freedom to the Israelites when He set them free from being slaves in Egypt.

Stating our intention is a great way to remember why we’re doing a ritual. It also helps visitors know what we’re doing. Sometimes I give or even send visitors a copy of our service sheet so they can read in advance what they’re getting into! I love how this welcome calls us to actively live in the rest and freedom which God gives us.

LIGHT

Light two candles and say:

I light the two Sabbath candles to remind us of the rest and freedom God gives us. As I light them, I welcome ‘Shalom Bayit’, peaceful harmony in our homes. We bless you, Lord our God, king of the universe, who has given us Jesus, the light of the world. Thank You that whoever follows You will never walk in darkness, but have the light of life.

Waft the light three times towards yourself, representing more of Jesus’ light in your life. Then waft the light outwards three times, to represent spreading the light of Jesus into the lives of those around the table, your loved ones and the wider community. Say or sing this blessing together:

We bless you, Lord our God, king of the universe (x2),

Who has given us Jesus, light of the world.

We bless You, Lord our God, king of the universe. Hey!

Say this traditional Hebrew Sabbath greeting, which means ‘peaceful Sabbath’:

Shabbat Shalom!

7 Recommendations for Those Studying to Be a Pastor

Ron Edmondson

March 14, 2018

I have the opportunity to talk with young pastors each week. I also interact regularly with those who are preparing for the pastorate. I love investing in the next generation of leaders and am thankful for those who invested in me.

One of those pastors in training recently asked me, “If you were my age (about 22) and were studying to be a pastor, what would you do?”

Great question!

If I were studying to be a pastor today, based on my experience as a pastor now, which is still most important, there are some things I would make certain I accomplished prior to assuming the role.

Seven suggestions as you prepare to be a pastor:

Take some business and/or leadership courses.

You’ll find more available, especially in the area of leadership these days, at seminaries and Bible colleges, but you may have to take some courses online or at another school. Every pastor needs to know some general business and leadership principles to manage the complexities of a church. That’s true in church planting or in an established church.

Build connections with pastors.

Just as in the secular world, having the right connections makes the difference in church positions also. It may be to help secure a job or to learn from other churches, but pastors should build a healthy network of peers. It’ll also keep you from having to lead alone. You’ll always be able to “phone a friend” who has been there and done that.

Volunteer in the church.

Just volunteer. It’s amazing to me to see seminary students who attend church but don’t find a place to serve. They are training to be a pastor—one who will need lots of people to volunteer in their church some day—yet they aren’t volunteering. Some day you’ll want to understand the sacrifice of those who serve the church without a vocational commitment.

Work a secular job.

Even if only part-time, at some point in your studies, work among people in the secular world. You’ll learn valuable principles about life, work and people. You’ll also be better able to identify with the people to whom you are called to minister. (Plus, it will be harder for that person who always thinks, “Well pastor, in the real world…” to discount your teaching.)

Take a people-helping or counseling course.

Let’s face it! Regardless of the size of a church, a pastor is going to encounter hurting people. Understanding some basic questioning, summary and counseling skills is critical to pastoring and will make your teaching even stronger.

Find a mentoring pastor.

Early in ministry, or even before beginning, I would strongly encourage a young pastor to find a mentor. Ask a pastor who is older and with more experience to be available to help you through situations you find yourself in where you need wisdom you don’t have. You’ll be glad you’ve recruited this person in advance.

Embrace accountability.

Develop a close relationship with a few other same-sex friends and invite them to hold you accountable to God, your family, your church and yourself. These do not have to be pastors, but should understand the pressures and demands of ministry.

Bonus Suggestion: BE A PASTOR.

If you are confident God has called you to be a pastor, then don’t wait to get all the training. Keep receiving training, follow these suggestions, but more importantly, get some on-the-job training by finding ways to be a pastor today! Maybe to your own family, or through nursing home or prison visits. You may have to be creative, but there are lots of opportunities to shepherd people if you look—even without a paycheck.

Of course, the most important thing to do is to prepare your heart and mind spiritually, but these are practical ways you can prepare.

What would you add to my list?

Dr. Benji Kelley & George Franco on Building a Team in a Fast Growing Church

Beth Colletti

March 14, 2018

Welcome back to another episode of the unSeminary podcast. I’m excited to have you with us today as we chat with Dr. Benji Kelley and George Franco of New Hope Church, which has campuses in the Carolinas and internationally.

The church started in 2002 and has grown greatly since then. They have a home in Durham, North Carolina, with 10 campuses. If you were to come to New Hope one Sunday, you would find a warm and welcoming church that loves demonstrating God’s diversity in their congregation.

Today we talk with Benji and George about how they are building their staff team at New Hope.

• Choose staff on the healthy side of their stories. At New Hope, they began to notice a trend where there was a high-turnover rate for their staff. After doing some digging, they realized that some of the staff weren’t ready for the demands and responsibilities of full-time ministry. As George explains, “Everybody’s got a story. When Pastor Benji’s interviewing people, he can see the redemption happening in people’s lives, which is what makes him such an amazing pastor and leader. But sometimes when we hired staff, there were people who weren’t on the healthy side of the story yet.” So this was one of the areas Benji and George began to have honest conversations about, for the health of the larger church.

• Have candid conversations. Benji has tried to be intentional from the very beginning, with his staff and with the church, when it comes to being candid and transparent. One of his mottoes is to “Move toward the funk.” When potential problems are arising, move toward them and have the hard conversations. As Benji says, “At the end of the day we know three things: We love the Lord, we love His church and we love one another. If you have those three things in place, we should be able to talk about everything because we talk about it with respect, with mutual honor, mutual submission to the vision and the church.” Ultimately the staff at New Hope wants Jesus’ church to be beautiful and thrive, so they are willing to have those candid conversations.

• Outside help. Finding and keeping great staff is one of the top problems churches face. New Hope decided to work with a search firm to help them in hiring staff members. Rather than working with several firms, they wanted to find just one that would really take the time to understand their church’s culture. Not only is the organization they found a good fit, but they also send out a rep to come on the campuses. She’s very aware of the culture of the church, which helps immensely when seeking candidates who would fit within that atmosphere. Culture is the biggest challenge when hiring from outside the church, and so finding that company that will work to fully understand the church’s needs and culture is vital to finding great staff.

• Hire based on character. Hiring based on character can be more challenging than one might think in a church. Sometimes there is an assumption from churches that because we’re hiring Christians, character shouldn’t be an issue. Although there are some obvious areas of health and maturity we want staff to possess, we all have those “soft areas” where we can grow. But the question is, will we be teachable and let others speak into those areas? As Benji and George interview potential candidates, they ask specific questions to get a feeling for if these people are open to having someone work on those soft areas with them.

To learn more about New Hope Church at www.newhopechurch.org

This article originally appeared here.

6 Ways the Local Church Can Set the Table for Discipleship

Brandon Cox

March 14, 2018

I grew up attending church a lot. I was in a church classroom a lot. When I was a kid, my family attended Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night preaching and prayer services, plus Sunday school, plus missions education programs and Vacation Bible Schools. But…I didn’t grow spiritually, didn’t really experience spiritual depth, and didn’t really learn what following Jesus looked like outside the walls of the church.

When I hit adulthood, I started to grow spiritually, but I would say it was still rather slow going. I started attending church with my wife and soaking up biblical knowledge like a sponge. I entered ministry and attended Bible college and developed the spiritual disciplines. But something was still missing.

Finally, several things happened that prompted a complete perspective change in me and kickstarted my journey toward being more like Jesus. In particular…

I walked through pain—depression, specifically.
I began to repent of pride, self-centeredness and other sins.
My wife and I began to have tough conversations.
I went on staff at a church with a strong culture of discipleship.
We joined a small group of people who cared a lot about doing life together.

After a year in that atmosphere, God led us to Northwest Arkansas to plant a church and gave us a passion for creating a place where people could truly grow. We started planting Grace Hills with some particular convictions about the role of the local church in discipleship, such as…

The local church, as a community of believers, was always integral to Jesus’ plan for discipleship.
The local church should balance the five purposes of worship, evangelism, discipleship, fellowship and ministry.
The local church should also be balanced in ministering to the community, the crowd, the congregation, the committed and the core.
If the local church is going to facilitate discipleship, it has to be more than a classroom. It has to be a community of people who are coming to know Jesus together and serving one another for God’s glory.

In the last few years, we haven’t gotten everything right. In fact, I think it would be easier to write about our mistakes than our success. But I’ve watched our staff and volunteer team make disciples well, and I can point to at least six specific ways we’ve been setting the table for discipleship to happen.

From the pulpit, a vision is cast and an example is shared about the role of spiritual disciplines.

It’s not just about conveying information in a “deep” sermon format. It’s about creating a hunger and getting practical in terms of how each message should be lived out, and how every person can go deeper beyond Sunday. I spent 15 years doing deep, expositional preaching, but failed to call people to really develop their own faith at home. One of my newer goals is to help people, through my preaching, to become self-feeders by talking about the value of the disciplines as well as the how of them.

Lay counseling and counseling-as-discipleship is utilized to disciple people through crises.

We must develop a culture and a system for involving people in the messes of other people. The broken-and-healing need to be pouring into the broken-in-need-of-healing. And the most effective counseling we can do is essential discipleship. Some of the best marriage counseling we can do is having a man disciple a husband and a woman disciple a wife. I’ve learned to lean heavily on my wife, Angie Cox, an LCSW and a master at empowering lay people for counseling.

The importance of micro-groups or groups-within-groups is talked about.

It’s usually when a group gets smaller that real discussion happens. This happens when men and women divide during group time. It also happens when two or three from a group and grab coffee to get more personal. So we encourage group leaders to encourage group members to get together beyond the weekly meeting to dive deeper into specific struggles.

Everybody is challenged to join a ministry team.

A ministry team is like a cohort of people who are in proximity to each other as they serve. This creates an atmosphere for on-the-job discipleship. People sharpen one another in the trenches together, so we let ministry teams function a little bit like small groups. It’s been thrilling to watch people sharing their stories and challenging one another while serving together.

Schedules are simplified and families are encouraged to do discipleship at home.

Some of the most important discipleship work that a church can do is by empowering fathers, mothers and guardians to make disciples of their kids, as well as their neighbors’ kids. We fight against busyness so that families have time away from church together.

Pastoral ministry becomes personal ministry carried out within small groups.

Groups are challenged to provide care for one another. People pray over fellow group members before or during crises, deliver meals, and keep tabs on one another. No promises are ever made that the church staff will be doing “pastoral ministry,” even though we often do.

We don’t do any of these perfectly, but where we see them happen, we see them working. And we hope to do more of each of them. Jesus never intended us to try to carry out the work of disciple-making while ignoring his primary engine for the task—the local church.

Brandon has been a pastor since he was 19 and has served churches, large and small, including serving as a Pastor at Saddleback Church. Currently, he is planting a purpose driven church in northwest Arkansas. He also serves as Editor of Pastors.com and Rick Warren’s Pastors’ Toolbox, and authors a top 100 blog for church leaders as well as helping others learn about blogging and online marketing. He’s also the author of Rewired: Using Technology to Share God’s Love.

Brandon also coaches pastors and leaders in partnership with CourageToLead.com and is happy to have a conversation about how coaching can help you get unstuck and grow forward!

It Would Take a ‘Divorce’ to Split MercyMe Up Nowadays

Maina Mwaura

March 14, 2018

The band members of MercyMe took some time out of their busy schedule recently to speak with us about worship, the new movie coming out about the story behind their song, I Can Only Imagine, and what it’s like to hang in there for 20+ years as team members.

The surprising success of the song “I Can Only Imagine” belies the humble nature of the band and its members. Their song didn’t catapult into the national eye until a shock jock played their song on the radio as a dare in 2003. But once the broader public heard the song, they couldn’t get enough.

The song outgrew its original recording on the band’s 1999 “The Worship Project”, prompting another recording on 2001’s “Almost There”. After the 2003 mainstream radio debut, the song soared onto the adult contemporary Top 40 list. To this date, it is the best-selling Christian single in history with 2.5 million copies sold.

The band didn’t stop there, though, producing another 10 albums in the following years. While they’ve had a couple original members come and go, the band has toughed it out for over 20 years now. They might have felt the niche they had in the Christian music market was going to be a comfortable place to fly until retirement, another surprise came their way about eight years ago when a screenwriter decided the inspiring story behind the song would make an excellent movie. No one was as surprised as the band members themselves.

Even with the renewed spotlight, though, as we spoke to bassist Nathan Cochran and guitarist Michael John Scheuchzer, their down-to-earth natures shine through. It’s clear the band functions more like a family than a fame- or money-hungry group of musicians. Their heart to lead others to Christ through their music is the primary reason they’ve stayed together all this time.

ChurchLeaders: What’s it like being MercyMe these days?

MercyMe: Weird, Like really weird. We are excited to get to do what God has called us to do; we’re like family.

ChurchLeaders: I Can Only Imagine the movie is coming out in theaters soon. What was it like to see your story portrayed by actors?

MercyMe: The main theme of this interview is going to be the word weird, in a good way. Making a movie is a long process. It took eight years from start to finish on the movie, so you have to be patient. Everyone who was a part of the movie did a great job, there are some movies that they tend to not be accurate. Not this movie, it’s accurate to what we lived and what we saw Bart live and walk through with his dad. We expect to see the movie minister to people.

ChurchLeaders: What was it like seeing Dennis Quaid in the movie?

Mercy Me: Weird and surreal, he is a great guy. We have gotten to know him and he even came and watched us at a concert of ours.

ChurchLeaders: You just released “I Can Only Imagine”, a greatest hits album. What was that process like as you went down memory lane and re-lived these songs?

Mercy Me: Grateful, we have been at this for 20 years, in fact, we have been doing this more than we have not been doing it. When we started we were dumb and young, yes we were doing it for God but we were immature in the beginning and weren’t sure what God would have us do. We are very grateful for the 20 years that God has allowed us to see and do, especially in what God has allowed us to see him do through people’s lives.

ChurchLeaders: What have you learned about living in community after all these years together?

Mercy Me: We have learned to not only put up with each other but to see each other as family. We’re family, our kids act like cousins to one another. In the 20 years, we have learned a lot about each other, the good and the bad, and we’re thankful and grateful to still be together.

ChurchLeaders: Surely there have been bumps in the road and tough times after this long. How did you decide to stay together during the tough times?

Mercy Me: We decided to trust the God that is inside each of us, even when we don’t agree or get along with one another we decided to trust that God is at work in the other person’s life. We have come to learn that no one wins until someone asks for forgiveness.

ChurchLeaders: Take me inside the writing and studio room, what is the process like when deciding what songs will be on an album?

Mercy Me: It really has changed in the 20 years that we have been together, in the past we would sit in a room together and stumble maybe into what we thought should be on an album. Now, we’re a little more proactive in what we feel God calling us to place on an album. We’re there to serve the song and not ourselves. It also depends on where we’re at in life.

ChurchLeaders: I Can Only Imagine is a powerful song but do you ever get tired of signing it?

Mercy Me: No, we are grateful for what the song has done in people’s lives.

ChurchLeaders: Do you have any advice for worship pastors who are leading people in song week in and week out?

Mercy Me: Early in our career, we got asked that question a lot. Worship leaders should remember that God has them there for a purpose, not for something bigger or better but to lead people to Him.

ChurchLeaders: Do you see 20 more years being together?

Mercy Me: Not traveling like we are now, however, we will still be together. Breaking up would be like divorce almost, we’re like family. We are not going anywhere.

Shock Jocks Played This Song as a Joke. Now It’s a Movie

Bob Ditmer

March 14, 2018

I Can Only Imagine premiers this weekend in 1,600 theaters across the U.S. The movie is based on the story behind MercyMe’s 1999 song that captivated a nation. But how that happened has some of the band’s own members scratching their heads to this day.

The song was a huge hit on Christian radio, but it reached heights no one could have predicted four years later when some shock jocks on an FM rock station in Dallas played the song on a dare.

Fitz, Tony and Big Gay Steven, then-hosts of Wild 101 FM’s “The Fitz Show,” decided to play the song as nothing more than a joke. And when they did, something unexpected happened: The phone lines lit up with requests for “I Can Only Imagine” to be played again.

The song had already run its course in Christian radio and the band had moved on, but suddenly MercyMe was in a fascinating position, as a Christian song that was intended for praise and worship had made its way onto the secular airwaves—and people were loving it.

Soon, interest in the song snowballed and the band’s record label began sending copies of it to top 40 stations across the country, challenging program managers to play it. When they did, their phones blew up as well, with the masses wanting to hear more of the Christian song.

“Word just started getting out. Our label didn’t know what to do with it. How do you even promote this?” Millard told The Church Boys podcast. “They agreed to send a copy to the stations and say, ‘Play it once and if you don’t get a reaction just throw it out.’”

He said that those who played it quickly saw the song top their charts, with MercyMe members explaining that DJs were contacting them and saying that this was the first time in their careers that people were actually calling to thank them for playing something inspirational.

“‘I Can Only Imagine’ had the largest response ever in a record that I have tested,” Steve Matthews, director of programming at WZNY in Augusta, Georgia, told UPI at the time. “I played the song one time and my phones were solid for the next 20 minutes. The calls were not asking me who the artist was, but to thank me for playing the song.”

The song and the movie are about Bart Millard’s childhood with his abusive father, Arthur. Millard, one of the members of MercyMe, told the Tennessean, “He beat me three or four times a week.” When he was eight or nine, he said, his dad beat him so badly that he couldn’t wear clothes and he had to miss school for two days. “I thought he was going to kill me,” he said of that beating.

But Arthur found Christ and he and Bart became close…but only when Arthur was already dying of cancer. Sad as he was at his dad’s illness, Bart wondered at the change in him: He finally had the dad he’d always wanted.

Arthur, known as Bub to the family, died and at his gravesite, Bart’s grandmother, who had a strong faith in Christ, said of her son, “I can only imagine what Bub’s seeing now.”

And a song was born.

Why a Professional Sports Team Is Talking About Porn

Ed Uszynski

March 14, 2018

Like many other MLB teams do this time of year, the Kansas City Royals recently hosted a growth seminar for their staff and players at their spring training site in Surprise, AZ.

What made this one unique was the subject being addressed. It wasn’t drugs. It wasn’t domestic violence. It wasn’t social media etiquette.

It was pornography.

Sports shock jock Jim Rome noted the uniqueness of the effort: “The Kansas City Royals made some history over the weekend…they became the first Major League Baseball team to—you guessed it—host an anti-porn workshop. While 29 other teams were working on situational hitting and baserunning—the Royals were working on—resisting the urge to crack open their lappers and watch porn.”

Led by the anti-pornography group “Fight the New Drug,” over 200 Royals players, coaches, trainers and staff listened to FTND Co-Founder and President Clay Olsen spell out the effects of pornography consumption on their lives as both players and men. In his awareness-raising presentation, he “specifically focused on how porn can impact a consumer’s overall well-being, which in turn can affect productivity, work performance and personal image.”

On their site, FTND describes porn’s effect on the brain, the heart and the world. The group focuses on both pornography and addiction, “rejecting the idea that porn is healthy, normal or cool.”

“It says a lot about the organization, that they care so much,” said Olsen. “Not only do they care about how the players perform on the field, but they also care about the overall well-being of the players and how they’re doing off the field, as well.”

The Royals’ administration plans on doing more than just hosting a seminar. “This isn’t just a one-and-done deal,” Olsen emphasized. “This is something this organization will be addressing in time to come. In addition to many other health focuses and training aspects, this will be one of the issues they cover with the players. They care about the players’ well-being.”

Last weekend our co-founder @clayolsen presented to the @kcroyals players and coaches. The Royals are the first #MLB team to actively take a stand against porn, and we’re inspired that they’re stepping up to the plate ⚾ #pornkillslove #fightforlove

A post shared by Fight the New Drug (@fightthenewdrug) on Mar 5, 2018 at 2:30pm PST

A year previously during a press conference, Royals General Manager Dayton Moore explained his rationale for addressing difficult growth topics with his players.

“These guys grow up playing the game that they love to play,” he said. “They have the freedom and the choices of manhood. But oftentimes, they don’t have those responsibilities. Because we don’t allow them to have those responsibilities. We do a lot for them, because we want them to compete every single day at the highest level against the best of the best. And we want to protect them from different ills of society, so they can go out there and do what they love to do and celebrate what they do on the field.

“So do I think we should constantly look at ways to help improve the character and help mold and shape our players? I do… We talk about pornography, and the effects of what that does to the minds of players and the distractions, and how that leads to abuse of—domestic abuse—to abuse of women. How it impacts relationships—we talk about a lot of things. And I don’t mind sharing it with you.”

Many players and team personnel expressed thankfulness to FTND for speaking at the facility, including Strength and Conditioning Coach Austin Womack, who not only pointed out that the Royals are the first pro baseball team to address the issue, but also detailed his own journey toward freedom regarding addiction.

“Today I had the honor of listening to Clay (one of FTND’s co-founders) present on the harmful effects of pornography. Words really can’t express how much fighting the battle against pornography addiction means to me, and how grateful I am to be a part of the @kcroyals organization, the first organization in professional baseball to actively fight against porn addiction. It says a ton about the kind of men we have in leadership roles and it makes me even more eager to serve under them. – My personal story with porn addiction started when I was around 12-13 and it accelerated into an addiction throughout high school in college. In those years if you would’ve asked me if I had an addiction I would’ve said “Heck no. Addiction is for stuff like alcohol and drugs.” Especially because of how normal porn is in our society today. All my friends watched it. It really wasn’t a big deal. – It wasn’t until I actively started to fight this addiction, and see victory in this addiction, that I began to realize that there were areas of my life that were negatively affected by my porn addiction. My relationships with girls was the main victim, but it also affected other things like my sleep habits. Also, it’s a super tough addiction to beat, which confirms to me that this thing really is an addiction. – The last few years I have been battling this addiction I would see victory for a month or two and then I would relapse back into it for a few weeks before getting clean again. It was a roller coaster. I knew I wanted to get clean, and I thought I knew how to, but I had yet to see sustained progress. This is where @fightthenewdrug comes in. – 5 months ago I started the Fortify Program @joinfortify . Since then I have refrained from viewing porn, which makes this current streak the longest since I was first exposed to porn over a decade ago. – I still face temptation all the time. Its tough. It’s a daily battle. But it’s a battle that is winnable and the positive repercussions from beating this addiction are more than worth the fight. My life is proof.” – @awomack12 🙌⚾

A post shared by Fight the New Drug (@fightthenewdrug) on Mar 3, 2018 at 8:10pm PST

Undoubtedly—as the Instagram picture at the top would suggest—not all of the players appreciated the topic being addressed. Commentary across social media was caustic and mocking, indicating an ignorance regarding not only the social and relational dangers of pornography but also the spiritual battle that rages around it.

For example, CBSSports writer Mike Axisa said, “I have to say, this sounds like something a high school coach would do to his team. All MLB teams should work with their players to prevent sexual abuse and domestic violence, but porn? It’s one thing to bring in a motivational speaker. It’s another for the team’s leadership to push their own personal beliefs on the grown men they employ.”

Surprisingly, the usually sarcastic Rome actually affirmed the Royals—cushioned by multiple “let everyone do as they choose” disclaimers—suggesting that if porn becomes an addiction it should be addressed like any other addiction.

“Addiction is an issue in every walk of life,” Rome said. “If you had an issue with alcohol or drugs, wouldn’t you hope your employer would be there to provide assistance. Well, the Royals are there for their employees. This just sounds a little bizarre because the Royals are the first team to do it… But I don’t have an issue with them having their players sit in on this seminar.”

Pray that other teams will build upon the Royals’ courage and use their power and platform to confront this issue as forcefully as they would domestic violence and drugs and social media.

This article originally appeared here.

Grant Skeldon: If You Want to Be Discipled, Be Hungry

Jason Daye

March 14, 2018

Grant Skeldon responded to the charge that millennials are noncommittal, cynical, entitled, slacktivists, by starting Initiative Network in order to shift the culture of Dallas by training millennials to be Christ-loving, city-changing, church-investing, disciple-making, local missionaries.

Key Questions for Grant Skeldon:

– What are the greatest challenges in building a bridge to millennials?
– What can millennials do to improve their ability to mentored?
– What can pastors do to help nurture positive relationships across generational divides?

[SUBSCRIBE] For more ChurchLeaders podcasts click here!

Key Quotes from Grant Skeldon:

“Discipleship disrupts division.”

“George Bailey is like a lot of millennials…he’s very passionate and wants to be part of something bigger than himself.”

“Millennials have OCD, obsessive comparison disorder, they’re constantly looking at other people’s lives.”

“Discipleship hinges on the availability and the vulnerability of the discipler, or the older generation, or sometimes I joke the chronologically superior generation.”

“One thing that disappoints me about my generation is the lack of hunger because no matter how available or vulnerable a leader is, if a young person isn’t hungry, they’re not going to learn.”

“Jesus wept blood and tears and he let the disciples see that.”

“The most influential 20-somethings that I know in the nation that are believers and have a nationally impactful business, ministry or church always have some older, wiser godly mentors.”

“If you’re not often the youngest guy in the room then you’re hanging out in the wrong rooms.”

“A lot of churches have making disciples part of their ministry statement but if you ask them….they don’t have accountability measurements (for their staff).”

“If you ask a church…how many disciples did you make? A lot of times there’s no measurement. We measure what matters most.”

“We don’t have a millennial problem, we have a discipleship problem.”

“Discipleship redeems every age group because you never become obsolete or unnecessary.”

Links Mentioned by Grant Skeldon in the Show:

Initiative Network

Grant Skeldon.com

More LGBTQ Characters Coming to Kids’ TV?

Dale Hudson

March 13, 2018

As advocates for LGBTQ rights continue to push their agenda, they are seeking to indoctrinate children through children’s television programming.

An example is the children’s television show Andi Mack. In season two, the show reveals that one of its main characters, a middle schooler, is gay.

The show has ranked as the top TV series for girls ages 6-14. The average viewer is 10 years old.

Another example is a Doc McStuffins‘ episode that featured Portia de Rossi and Wanda Sykes as a gay couple. Also the Nickelodeon show The Loud House featured two scenes with gay dads.

Sarah Kate Ellis, President and CEO of GLAAD, said, “Television reflects the real life world and today that includes LGBTQ youth who deserve to see their lives depicted on their favorite shows.”

At a recent children’s programming conference, Ellis helped lead a session titled “Creating LGBTQ-Inclusive Content for Kids.” She said, “More story lines featuring inclusive and diverse LGBTQ characters should be making their way onto screens—and into children’s lives.”

Another panelist in the session, Chris Nee, executive producer of Doc McStuffins, said, “Adult dramas and comedies are finally in 2018. But kids’ TV has been stuck in 1994 for a long time. Maybe we’ve shifted a bit…and are finally in 1995.”

GLAAD Media Awards has even introduced a kids and family category. The first nominees were Andi Mack, Disney Channel; Danger & Eggs, Amazon Studios; “The Emergency Plan,” Doc McStuffins, Disney Channel; Steven Universe, Cartoon Network; and Loud House Nickelodeon.

Ellis, the CEO of GLAAD whom we referenced earlier, wants to see the award category expand and include multiple categories like preschool, tween and teen.

Gallup data shows that 4 percent of the population now identifies as LGBTQ. This includes a record-high 7.3 percent of people born between 1980 and 1998. This is up from 5.8 percent in 2012. There is no doubt that the “mainstreaming” and “normalization” of LGBTQ lifestyles on television has contributed to this.

With more and more LGBTQ propaganda targeting kids, parents must be proactive and take action if they want to raise their children to have a biblically based, healthy view of relationships, marriage and sex.

Here are some questions parents must think through and navigate.

Will we allow our children to watch children’s television programs that promote the LGBTQ lifestyle? If we do, how can we have conversations during and after the show about what they are seeing?

How can we raise children to understand the difference between God’s plan for sex and relationships and the world’s view?

How can we teach our children to speak the truth in love?

How can we help our children know the difference between accepting a lifestyle and approving a lifestyle?

What tools and resources can we provide for parents to help with this?

There is no doubt that media and entertainment influences children. But the greatest influence in a child’s life is his or her parents. First and foremost, it’s up to parents to shape their children’s views about relationships, marriage and sex.

This article originally appeared here.

Strong Worship Leaders: The 18 Things They Avoid

Mark Cole

March 13, 2018

Strong worship leaders develop good attitudes and habits. They keep their heart, mind and spirit right before God and man. Check out these things that strong leaders don’t do, so you can grow and improve.

1. They don’t miss out on a daily time with God.

God is the reason for worship. He is the source of your success. Spending daily time with God, reading the word and in prayer, is the main key to being a strong worship leader.

2. They don’t pick songs that the congregation can’t sing and worship with.

If your congregation is not singing, you are not doing what you are called to do. Are you picking songs that the congregation can learn quickly? Are you repeating the songs enough for your congregation to learn them? Are you picking great songs? Is your congregation just singing or are they worshiping with the songs? Are you putting them in singable keys?

3. They don’t choose a worship list without praying about it.

The Holy Spirit will bring songs to your mind that you might ordinarily miss. How does God want to be worshipped this Sunday? What does He want to say to His church?

4. They don’t think that success comes from anywhere but God.

Humility is a main ingredient to God moving in your life and ministry. Humility proceeds honour. God is the one who promotes or demotes you. Make sure all the honour goes to Him. God resists the proud.

5. They don’t alienate the sound man or tech people.

Sound men and tech people can make you or break you. They are usually some of the first people to arrive and the last to leave. A great tech team is worth their weight in gold. Make sure you treat them that way!

6. They don’t allow themselves to just sing songs without also worshiping God with their whole heart

It’s too easy to get caught up in making good music and forget the main thing. Worshiping God is the main thing. Make sure you practice enough so you can play and sing the music well and focus on worshiping God at the same time.

7. They don’t allow the band to be at the same level this year as last year.

Developing and growing your team and yourself is one of the main responsibilities of a good leader. Learn to lead great rehearsals. Challenge yourself and the worship band to grow, learn and improve.

8. They don’t allow a rift to develop with the pastoral staff.

Having a good relationship with your church leadership is paramount to a worship leader’s success. Go out of your way to spend the time to have good relationships.

9. They don’t let the week go by without a personal private time of worship.

If you honor God in private, He will honor you in public by showing up in special ways. Never allow your worship to be just a public thing. Your private worship is one of the most important ways for you to grow in your walk with the Lord.

10. They don’t allow the worship band to just play music and not worship.

The modern worship band is a team. You are only as strong as your weakest link. You need everyone on stage to be a worshiper. It communicates so much to your congregation.

11. They don’t spend time feeling sorry for themselves when things don’t go perfectly.

Mistakes will happen. Learn from your mistakes, but don’t allow them to bring you or the team down. You need to get over negative attitudes and problems quickly. Remember what Paul said: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

12. They don’t blame the band or other people when there are problems.

Good leaders take the main blame for problems. They realize that with a better rehearsal and preparation most problems can be avoided. Don’t play the blame game, take responsibility and do better next time.

13. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.

You will rarely please everyone. Do the best you can, make the best decisions you are capable of and move on. There will always be negative critics, but good leaders also keep their ears open for good constructive criticism that will help them grow.

14. They don’t dwell on past mistakes and problems.

The devil loves to bring up your past mistakes and sins. Nobody is perfect, repent and let the past be in the past. Dwelling on your past mistakes can paralyze you. God wants you to forget the past and move on to the great things He has in store for you.

15. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.

You will learn more from your problems and mistakes than your successes. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Experience is one of the best teachers.

16. They don’t resent other people’s success.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” We are here to build God’s kingdom not our own. When another brother or sister in the kingdom does well, rejoice with them. Resentment is a negative emotion that God doesn’t honor.

17. They don’t give up after a failure.

Never, ever, give up. God is on your side. Everyone fails sometimes. Just get up, learn and keep on going! Never, ever, give up!

18. They don’t expect immediate results.

Good congregations and worship bands are not built in a day. God’s normal way is for us to build little by little, day by day. If you and your team keep improving day by day and week by week, good things will happen.

Bonus: They don’t put themselves in compromising situations

Maintaining moral purity in ministry will make you or break you. Too many have fallen into the trap of developing unhealthy relationships. Rick Warren has a great list titled “10 Commandments to Help Church Staff Maintain Moral Integrity.” We would be wise to follow his advice.

Question: What other things do strong worship leaders avoid?

This article originally appeared here.

7 Stupid Distractions Every Leader Should Eliminate

Carey Nieuwhof

March 13, 2018

Ever notice your day seems to vaporize and you wonder what happened to all your best intentions?

You’re ready to leave work but you barely even dented your to-do list. As a result, you’re going to have to try to justify squeezing an hour of work in once you get home, or just get up at a ridiculous hour tomorrow to try again.

Not only is that pattern unsustainable, it’s mysterious. You try not to have it happen again, but it does anyway.

So…what causes that?

At the root of it is likely repeated patterns and behaviors.

New patterns, habits and approaches can change everything, and that’s what I show you in The High Impact Leader course (which is in its final hours at current pricing). If you’ve ever thought about joining, now’s the time!

There’s also another problem more leaders struggle with than ever before, and that’s distraction.

As research and experiments have shown, workers get interrupted as often as every 11 minutes during the workday, and it takes 25 minutes to refocus after each interruption. The math doesn’t even exactly add up, but you get the point. That’s why it feels impossible to get anything done.

The brand new approach to work and life I share in the High Impact Leader has improved things for thousands of people, but in the meantime, here are seven stupid things that interrupt your day that simply don’t need to.

Get rid of these distractions today and you’ll have a better tomorrow.

1. Push Notifications

Every single app in the world starts off its relationship with you by asking “Allow Push Notifications?”

Your automatic answer as a leader should be no. Every single time (except one…I tell you which exception I think you should make below).

You don’t really need to know every time someone sends you an email. Similarly, it’s useless to be notified every time someone comments on your Instagram.

Why? Well, think of push notifications as someone tapping you on the shoulder. If someone tapped you on the shoulder somewhere between 30-300 times a day every day, you would either punch them or get a restraining order.

Every time your phone vibrates, that’s what’s happening.

And don’t think the people you’re in real life conversation with aren’t bothered by your constantly buzzing phone and your incessant need to check your screen. It’s hard to respect or follow a distracted leader.

Being busy isn’t a sign of respect anymore. It’s a sign you’re not managing your time or priorities well.

I disabled push notifications on my phone and turned on the Do Not Disturb on my devices a few years ago. I don’t miss the constant buzzing at all. Nor do my friends and family.

Instant notifications about your messages aren’t that important.

Actually, I’m not actually that important. With all due respect, neither are you.

9 Bible Verses for Depression to Shine Light Into Darkness

Stephen Altrogge

March 13, 2018

Are there Bible verses for depression?

It depends what you mean.

The Bible is not a dispensary that we come to for our daily dose of inspiration or good feelings. The Bible is primarily the grand story of God’s plan to redeem a people for himself for the glory of his name.

Nevertheless, the Bible does speak directly to the depressed, which is good news for people like me who often find themselves engulfed in the darkness.

So yes, there are scriptures for depression. These verses shine light into dark places, give hope to the hopeless, and allow the depressed person to have God’s perspective rather than their own dismal view.

If you’re depressed, burn the following verses on your heart. Print them out. Think about them and rejoice in them. They can be life to you.

Now, one thing that’s really important to note as you read these verses: You probably won’t FEEL any different after reading these verses.

There’s this weird idea in some Christian circles that the moment you change your thinking your feelings will also change. That as you read these Bible verses for depression, the gloom will suddenly lift.

This couldn’t be further from the truth, especially when it comes to mental illness. But here’s the good news: All these promises are TRUE. They don’t depend on you. They’re all about God and his mighty works on your behalf.

As you read these, thank God that they’re true, regardless of what you feel.

With that being said, here are nine Bible verses for depression.

May these give you hope and strength as you wait for God to lead you out of the Valley of Darkness.

9 Bible Verses for Depression

If you want to jump to a particular verse, click the link:

Bible Verses For Depression #1: Deuteronomy 31:8
Bible Verses For Depression #2: Isaiah 41:10
Bible Verses For Depression #3: Psalm 40:1-3
Bible Verses For Depression #4: Psalm 3:3
Bible Verses For Depression #5: Psalm 34:18-19
Bible Verses For Depression #6: Isaiah 40:31
Bible Verses For Depression #7: Isaiah 42:3
Bible Verses For Depression #8: Matthew 11:28-30
Bible Verses For Depression #9: Romans 8:38-39

10 Ways to Increase Intimacy in Marriage

1. Spend quality time together as a couple.

2. Ask insightful questions of each other.

3. Pray.

When People Are Leaving Church

If you know someone is offended at you, ask if you can meet and hear them out.

Listen. Really listen.

What is the semester system?

What are the advantages of a semester-based system?

What are the disadvantages of a semester based system?

Reaching people who are new

Keeping the people you reach

Seven suggestions as you prepare to be a pastor:

Today we talk with Benji and George about how they are building their staff team at New Hope.

Key Quotes from Grant Skeldon:

Links Mentioned by Grant Skeldon in the Show:

1. Push Notifications

9 Bible Verses for Depression

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