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Researchers Surprised by ‘Protective’ Benefits of Prayer on Youth

By
Stephanie Martin
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

According to a new study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, children and teenagers who attend religious services and pray or meditate on their own are likely to experience lasting mental and physical health benefits.

Previous research has shown similar associations in adults, but this study from Harvard’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health focused on 5,000 young people who were followed for eight to 14 years. Those who attended church at least weekly as children or teens were 18 percent more likely to be happy in their 20s, almost 30 percent more likely to volunteer, and 33 percent less likely to do drugs. Researchers expected to discover these types of positive impacts from church attendance but were surprised to find such benefits associated with prayer.

The Benefits of Prayer

Daily prayer or meditation was linked to characteristics such as better emotional processing and expression, more volunteering, a “greater sense of mission,” higher levels of forgiveness, decreased likelihood of early sexual activity, and fewer sexual partners in one’s lifetime. There were also possible associations between regular prayer and higher life satisfaction, higher self-esteem, the likelihood of registering to vote, fewer symptoms of depression, and a lower risk of smoking.

Study author Ying Chen says, “These findings are important for both our understanding of health and our understanding of parenting practices. Many children are raised religiously, and our study shows that this can powerfully affect their health behaviors, mental health, and overall happiness and well-being.”

Religion’s Protective Benefits

Religious involvement appears to be a “protective factor” for teens, according to the study. Possible reasons include religion’s emphasis on personal virtue and self-control, practices that encourage respect for the body and “active coping,” and the social support and adult role models typically found within a congregation.

Although church participation in general has been declining, “there is still considerable intergenerational religious continuity in the United States,” the study notes. And parents continue to play a key role, as “religious participation in adulthood is, in many cases, a function of religious upbringing in early life.” Estimates show, for example, that almost 60 percent of parents who attended worship at least once per week had children who reported frequent church attendance.

Most participants in this study were the children of relatively wealthy white females, so researchers say results need to be replicated in broader populations. The study didn’t examine the influence that parents and peers may have on teenagers’ religious beliefs and choices.

But overall, the results clearly indicate that combining the public act of worship and the private act of prayer leads to changed lives.

Senior author Tyler VanderWeele says, “While decisions about religion are not shaped principally by health, for adolescents who already hold religious beliefs, encouraging service attendance and private practices may be meaningful avenues to protect against some of the dangers of adolescence, including depression, substance abuse and risk taking. In addition, these practices may positively contribute to happiness, volunteering, a greater sense of mission and purpose, and to forgiveness.”

Fall Festivals Are a Great Way to Reach Families

By
Dale Hudson
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Many churches use fall festivals as an outreach event on October 31. If you’re one of them, you’re probably asking yourself…

“How can we get unchurched families to attend?”

“How can we reach families with this event?”

“How can we get families who come to return on Sunday?”

These are great questions and it’s why you do the event. But the answers can often be hard to figure out.

Here’s are some answers to these questions that will help you reach and keep families through Fall Festivals.

Get the word out in your community. Families are looking for a safe place for their kids and will come if they know about your event. Here’s some ways you can spread the word.

  • Cast vision to the families in your church that this is a great opportunity to reach families. Encourage them to invite people to come.
  • Provide invite cards that they can use to invite friends, family members, co-workers, schoolmates and neighbors.
  • Provide posters that people can put up at places of business.
  • Do a mail out to your community that advertises the event.
  • Use social media to promote the event and have people in your church promote it to their social media contacts.
  • Advertise on free local outlets such as the news, community channel advertising, etc.

Give families a great experience at the event. It is vital that families have a great experience. If they don’t, they simply won’t come back. If people are rude to them, if their kids don’t get enough candy, or if the festival doesn’t match what was advertised…it doesn’t matter how much you follow up. They won’t come back. The first impression truly is a lasting impression.

Collect families’ basic contact information. You can’t follow up without it. Here are some ways you can collect it.

  • Let them know up front that you are not going to show up on their door step the next week. People will be hesitant to give you their information if they think you are going to show up at their house unannounced.
  • Have people register for a free gift that they receive right on the spot. It might be something as simple as a full-size candy bar for their kids. With all the mini-candy bars being passed out, you’d be surprised how many people will give you their contact info just to get a large candy bar for their child. 
  • Have a drawing for some large prizes like a bike, family meal certificate to a local restaurant, movie tickets, etc. Ask people to register for the drawing.
  • Have a grand prize drawing on the following Sunday. You must be present on Sunday to win. This prize should be something significant enough that it would bring a family back on Sunday (example: four tickets to Disney World or a major family attraction in your area).
  • Have a free photo spot with a professional photographer. Offer to email them the picture. 

Have a table or booth set up with church information, brochures, etc. Staff it with friendly volunteers who can answer questions.

Provide a family show during the event. It can include music, puppets, games and family fun. Make it a soft touch to give kids and parents a feel of what weekends are like.

Follow up after your fall festivals. 

  • Follow up as quickly as possible. If you follow up within 48 hours, the likelihood of them returning goes up. 
  • Send them an email thanking them for coming. Include information about weekend services or other upcoming events. Keep it short and simple. If they had their picture taken per above, you can attach it to this email. Here’s a sample email.

Dear Parent,

Thank you for being our guest at the Family Fall Festival. We hope you had a great time. your church’s name is a family made up of people just like you and me, who come together to encourage and support each other on this journey called life.

One of the most exciting and challenging parts of life is being a parent. At your church’s name, we want to help your kids learn more about God and discover the purpose He has for their lives. We also desire to come alongside parents to provide parenting tools, resources, encouragement and support.

You can get more information about your church’s name by visiting our website at your church’s website or by calling phone number. We also invite you to be our guest at any of our weekend services. We’re here for you and your family.

Hope to see you this weekend!

  • Send them a handwritten note. Include a coupon that they can redeem for a free gift the next time they attend the church. It might be a drink for the parents and a small toy or t-shirt for the kids. 
  • Invite them to your next big event. Add them to your mailing list and invite them to your next event. Even if they don’t show up for a church service the next weekend, you may see them return for another event. Keep planting seeds…God will bring the fruit.
  • Call them. A short “thank you for coming…if we can be of any service to you” phone call is appropriate. I would encourage you to keep it light and not come across as pushy.

Fall Festivals are one of your best opportunities to reach families. I’m thinking of a family who came to our Fall Festival last year. It was their first contact with our church. They came back on the weekend, gave their lives to Christ, and are now growing in their faith and serving in the ministry.

What a great opportunity you have this year. Whether you’re hosting a Fall Festival on your church property, participating in a community event off-site, or being a witness in your neighborhood, I’m praying with you for many families to come to Christ.

This article about fall festivals originally appeared here.

Here are 100 fall festival ideas to inspire you!

Every Hill Is Not Worth Dying On for Leaders

By
Ronnie Floyd
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

The greatest leadership lesson I have ever learned is: Every hill is not worth dying on. If I had practiced this in my previous churches and perhaps during the first few years here, I believe my influence would be greater and the ministry would be more effective. In today’s world of continual media bombardment and social outrage, it can be easy to get swept up in trivial matters. We must not allow that to happen and compromise our leadership.

I have seen ministers let their stubbornness and pride wreck their leadership in the home and in the church. When you have the clarity and wisdom to not die on every hill, your leadership can be long and effective.

Whether you are a rookie pastor or an experienced minister: Every hill you face in leadership is not worth dying on. When the pastor practices this, the church will flourish. The fellowship will be sweeter, the growth will be greater, and the preservation of this growth will be more successful.

How I Learned That Every Hill Is Not Worth Dying On

How did I learn this important truth? It did not happen at a particular point, but through a process. Some things in leadership you can only learn through the growth of the entity you are assigned to lead. The growth of the organization in structures, personnel, dollars and expectations requires the leader to operate by the conviction that every hill he faces is not worth dying on.

There are times that I could have carried more people with me along the church’s vision path if I had been more patient and personal along the way. In the name of “urgency” or “reaching,” we can sometimes push “hurry” too much and too often. This is not an asset, but a liability.

The Christian life is not about being right—it is about being Christ-like.

Most Christians are more interested in being right than they are in being Christ-like. Pastor and church leaders, the Christian life is not about being right—it is about being Christ-like. If Satan cannot get you to do the wrong thing, he will get you to do the right thing in the wrong way. When you think you are always right, you will die on needless hills. When you constantly have to prove you are right and don’t take the time to work toward making the best decision in the right time and in the right way, you lose influence and leadership.

3 Hills Worth Dying On

There are three hills that are worth dying on no matter what anyone else thinks.

1. Truth – You must be willing to die on the hill of God’s truth found in Scripture.

You must stand in your pulpit, in your meetings and everywhere else you go with the confidence that the Bible is God’s truth for today and always. In my ministry, I have seen more people willing to die for their tradition than die for the Truth of God’s Word.

2. Morality – Jesus was very clear that we are to be the salt and light of the world.

We must be the moral conscience of our region, nation and world. Biblically, we have no alternative. We have to impact our culture. When we do, there are times that our faith will collide with the culture.

3. The Great Commission – The Great Commission should consume every Christian and church. 

For a church to advance toward the future in terms of health and growth, the church needs to be emblazoned by the Great Commission. There is no one in the church who ought to be more fired up and passionate about sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with every person in the world and making disciples of all the nations than the pastor.

When You Go to the Hill

Pastor, a good leader determines not only which hills to die upon, but he also chooses the timing.

Let me give you a strategic grid to go through before you ascend the hill:

  • Leadership has to be clear
  • Processes have to be thorough
  • Timing must be right

A wise leader does everything in God’s timing, by God’s Word and in God’s power.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Avoid Being Disqualified From Ministry

By
Jonathan LaFleur
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

In last week’s blog post, I talked about the first three of seven ways we as ministers of the gospel can avoid being disqualified from ministry. Now, let’s look at the last four:

Set personal boundaries and follow them

Vice President Mike Pence was recently mocked and scolded by the media for practicing what has been called the “Billy Graham Rule.” This rule refers to Billy Graham’s practice of not being alone in a room with any woman other than his wife. The media can mock if they wish, but do you know who has never been accused of committing adultery? Billy Graham. And as far as we know, neither has Mike Pence. It is wise to have personal guardrails for yourself that will assist you in remaining pure, such as an Internet accountability system, windows in your office for counseling sessions, and practicing the Billy Graham Rule. The apostle also admonishes us to “make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom. 13:14).

Have accountability in everything

Every pastor needs someone to hold him accountable in his spiritual life, his personal life and his work life. One way a pastor can have accountability in his spiritual and personal life is to be part of a Discipleship Group. We are exhorted, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock” (Acts 20:28). If a pastor truly wants to avoid falling from ministry, he should welcome transparency. There should be no mystery as to how a pastor is using his work time or the church’s money. In addition to business and council meetings, meet regularly with your staff, deacons, personnel committee and finance committee, and be open and honest about your work. Accountability will safeguard you and it will increase trust from those with whom you serve.

Take control of your choices

We are living in a strange time right now in our culture where “victimhood mentality” is rampant and people are blaming everyone else for their problems and poor choices. To put it more bluntly, we are living in an age of wimps who can’t man up and take responsibility for their own actions. Pastor, don’t lie to yourself that you are a victim to this culture, to your sinful desires or to the behaviors of others. The only one responsible for your sinful choices is you. We are dead to sin and sin has no dominion over us (Rom. 6:11-14). Drop the victimhood mentality and put on the victor mentality of Paul who said, “I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified” (1 Cor. 9:26-27).

Pursue satisfaction in Christ alone

What is the real, underlying issue that is causing pastors to fall? What makes a pastor commit adultery? What makes him embezzle the church’s money? What makes him resort to alcohol? What leads him away from sound doctrine? At some point in his ministry, the appeal of sin surpassed his affection for Christ. His preference of sin over Jesus started small and built gradually until it spiraled out of control. Perseverance in holiness and in doctrinal integrity eventually lost its charm. Fight this, brothers. Remind yourself daily of the treasure that Christ is to you and look daily to the reward that is before you as you run this race. Keep the faith because as Paul said, “there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing” (2 Tim. 4:8).

I pray that we have seen the last pastor fall from ministry. It certainly does not have to be you. I hope these encouragements are helpful reminders to you as you seek to be a faithful minister of God’s word. Remember, a lifetime of faithfulness starts with one day—let today be that day.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Get Even the Tough Students to Open Up and Share

By
Benjamin Kerns
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Every Fall we have a training for our youth ministry volunteers. And every year the biggest concern, fear and anxiety surrounds leading small groups. If I am honest, I don’t really resonate with this fear. This is because I am a youth ministry professional and I got into this gig because I love students, I love interacting with them, and I love drawing them in, picking their brain, and nurturing conversation around life and faith.

But if I want my students to grow and develop in their faith, and if I want to lead a ministry larger than six students, then I will need other adults who can also sit down in a group of students and facilitate conversation.

What I am about to share is not rocket science, but they are simple tips that will allow faithful adults from just about any background to sit down with a group of students and engage in deep and meaningful conversation.

  1. Relax. It is not on you to parent, correct, preach or rebuke your students. Chances are they just heard a message and you are now tasked with facilitating conversation. So take off your parent hat, even your religious hat, and put on your fascination hat. Be fascinated with the kids sitting in front of you. Be genuinely interested in who they are and what is happening between their ears and in their heart.
  2. This is not a discussion. Many adult volunteers approach small groups as discussion. But this allows some people to dominate the conversation and others not to share. Plus this takes the conversation off track. This sounds boring, but it allows everyone to participate and to actually reflect on their own life and the integration of their faith. This is going around in the circle and inviting every student to share. And even better, to share a one half step deeper than comfortable.
  3. Teach the art of follow up questions. In our groups, before the next person can answer the question, we have them ask one follow up question. This teaches the group how to listen, and even more, teaches the group that what they say is valuable and worth listening to.
  4. Always end with sharing prayer requests and prayer. No matter how sideways things get, taking three to five minutes at the end to have people share prayer requests and then allowing students to pray for each other points the entire group back to God and deepens the ties without too much cost. You can do this is a variety of ways, be creative, pair off, have one person share and the next person pray for them, write them down. The how doesn’t matter, just the act of prayer matters.

These four simple tricks are usually pretty intuitive for youth workers but not clear at all for adult volunteers. By equipping your volunteers with these tips, they will be ready for success, to create a safe and open environment for students to be authentic, to be heard, and to have their real life brought before the real God! Good luck!

This article originally appeared here.

How to Have More Fun in Your Small Group—5 Ideas

By
Gina Abbas
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Are you a small group point person who is trying to empower small group leaders to have more fun in their groups? Need to help group leaders create a welcoming and fun environment to increase connection between people? Here are 5 Ways to Help Your Small Groups Have More Fun:

  1. Bring Something With You
    A great way to warm up a new group (or the first night of returning groups) is by asking everyone to bring an item, or a photo from their phone, that best represents them or gives a little snapshot of what they’ve been up to lately. Yes, that trendy trip to Iceland or your recent addition of a fur-baby, we totally want to see a picture!
  2. Jackbox TV games
    All you need is a wifi connection and a smartphone. Hint: Use the family-friendly setting.
  3. Spyfall 2 
    Can accommodate up to 12 people, is easy to learn and a blast to play! It’s kind of like the classic Mafia youth group game. Don’t know what Mafia is? Ask the nearest middle schooler. Or just play Spyfall 2, it’s more fun anyway. Hint: The original Spyfall game is a favorite too (but only eight can play).
  4. Old School Favorites                                                                            Keep Catchphrase handy. It does not disappoint. This game is portable, easy to play and a crowd favorite. Outburst is another classic game that every Small Group I’ve led has absolutely loved.
  5. The Food Factor.
    The group that eats together…stays together! And has a lot more fun. Hit that golden buzzer. Groups that kick-off with a potluck are much more likely to have everyone show up. If you are bringing salsa and I am bringing chips, we kind of need each other, right?

This article originally appeared here.

Piktochart’s Founders’ Amazing Faith Story (Part 2)

By
Russ McGuire
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Last time I introduced you to Piktochart’s amazing story, about Andrea Zaggia and Ai Ching Goh, husband and wife and co-founders of this Christian startup company. In sharing their story, we learned how God had used technology, and even their web-based business, to bring them to Himself and to saving faith. Today I am pleased to share how God is using them and their business to bless others.

A Transformed Life

As you may recall, Ai Ching was raised in Malaysia. Her family is Buddhist. Growing up, she didn’t even like Christians. She told me “I was wrong my whole life!” Andrea was from Italy where his family identified as Catholics, but the church wasn’t an important part of their life. They met over Skype, then in person. Andrea moved to Malaysia to be with Ai Ching. They started a business together and were married. But they were lost.

Ai Ching said, “it’s so hard to work with your spouse. In retrospect, it seems impossible without Christ in the center.” She said that they would often get into heated debates over trivial aspects of the business. They each had a “rights” mentality, insisting on what they thought they deserved.

In Ephesians 4, Paul [commands] us “to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Eph 4:22-24) He goes on to describe it this way “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph 4:31,32)

Andrea and Ai Ching admit that they aren’t all the way there, but after joining the church, they are being transformed as Paul describes. Now, they always pray together. No longer is it a zero-sum game with one winning and the other losing. They strive to make every decision in one spirit.

Challenged by Scripture

When they joined the church, they also joined a care group in the church that met weekly. The group was studying the book of Daniel. In the first chapter, we see Daniel’s faithfulness demonstrated in verse 8 “But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king’s food, or with the wine that he drank.” We don’t know exactly why Daniel thought the food and wine would defile him, but his faith required separation from the culture around him.

Likewise, Ai Ching was challenged to consider whether she was defiling herself by continuing to engage in the cultural practices with which she had been raised. In her hometown of Penang, there are many idols. It is a common practice to literally eat food offered to idols. Twice in a very short time, Ai Ching ate food that had been offered to idols. Each time, she came down with a very high fever that lasted exactly one day. She understood that she, like Daniel, was to separate herself from the cultural norms that had been defiling her.

Not long after, the care group looked at Daniel 3 and the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego being bold and standing for their faith. Ai Ching realized that she also needed to be bold. She had been lying to her parents about what she did every Sunday. She realized that she needed to tell them the truth and she shared with them her testimony. Her parents were not happy, but Andrea and Ai Ching were strengthened and encouraged as they continued to grow in their walk with the Lord.

Business and Technology Connections

Being in a country where less than 10 percent are Christians made it hard for Andrea and Ai Ching to learn how to build a business with Christian values. They turned to Google to try to find Christian mentors. One of the top results was Praxis, which I have featured before. Later, they attended SXSW in Austin and there met Evan Loomis, co-founder of TreeHouse, who had been through the Praxis program. They applied and were accepted into Praxis where they built great relationships with mentors and peers that continue to serve them as they grow in God’s grace.

To summarize some of their key takeaways, each of the Piktochart co-founders shared a verse that guides them. Andrea recited Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” By the world’s standards, entrepreneurs are expected to follow a pattern— raise money fast; fail or succeed fast; fire struggling workers fast. At Piktochart, by God’s grace, they haven’t conformed to this pattern. As I mentioned last month, they had the opportunity to take money from investors, but didn’t feel at peace with the offers. If they had accepted those offers, they now would have investors that would be opposed to many of their current decisions, including tithing from the business to support Kingdom work. God has provided. They haven’t needed outside financing and the business is still growing five years in.

Ai Ching quoted Jesus from Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” As a businessperson, we have so many responsibilities to juggle, including serving customers and employees, ensuring product quality, dealing with never-ending new versions of browser and web standards and technology trends, and adapting to changing market conditions. She says “It is so important not to be focused on these ‘waves’ but on Christ, our Head, who is ready to pull us out when we start to sink.” As Jesus said in John 14 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.”

As technology entrepreneurs, Andrea and Ai Ching have learned lessons that can benefit us all. We are trying to do great things for God, but we so often get caught up in the craziness of the latest javascript framework (jQuery, Angular, Vue), the new trendy web design model (one page, responsive, material design), or the next big thing (virtual reality, augmented reality). We lose sight of the fact that God is doing a great work in us and through us. It’s not about conforming to the patterns of this world, but about seeking Him, and being transformed by Him to His glory.

Why Are Marriages Failing? It’s Probably Not the Reason You Think

By
David McClain
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

I had an uncle with a pain in his neck that caused him to constantly wince. Doctors could not diagnose the problem, so he lived with it for years. In time his neck began to permanently lean to the side. None of the treatments prescribed worked. About 25years later he went to a dentist to remove a bad tooth and was immediately relieved of all the pain. He suffered all those years unnecessarily due to a flawed diagnosis and treatment.

A wrong diagnosis can be costly and dangerous. I believe that every day we all witness a disastrous, dangerous misdiagnosis of mass proportions. Yet we continue full bore on the same path that got us into the mess that is the unraveling of marriage.

The diagnosis in our culture is that man is basically good, but his self-esteem has been damaged by negative influences. The problem with this diagnosis is that it is flat out wrong. I want to propose a different diagnosis and solution to the problem by asking, “How does our sinful self-obsession impact our marriages?”

Our self-obsession causes us to hide the truth about ourselves and blame others for our flaws. This self-obsession becomes a curse that that impacts our marriages in painful, destructive ways. It causes us to try to hide the truth about ourselves (Gen. 3:9–11). When exposed we evade responsibility and blame others for our wrongs. We want to appear as righteous, yet, we are not—so we blame. In this simple exchange we see why marriages are in trouble.

In their book Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me), social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson describe how a fixation on our own righteousness can choke the life out of love. They write: “The vast majority of couples who drift apart do so slowly, over time, in a snowballing pattern of blame and self-justification. Each partner focuses on what the other one is doing wrong while justifying his or her own preferences, attitudes and ways of doing things… From our standpoint, therefore, misunderstandings, conflicts, personality differences and even angry quarrels are not the assassins of love; self-justification is.”

Our sinful self-obsession impacts our marriages by causing the proper God-given roles in life to be damaged (Gen. 3:14–19). For man his curse is that he will face frustration in his work. For the woman, her role as man’s complement is impaired. When you put this together you can already see an unhealthy scenario.

What are some steps we can take to reduce the impact of our selfish impulses?

  • Confront your own self-centeredness—don’t wait for the other person to act first.
  • Accept responsibility for your sin—stop pretending to be the only victim and pass blame to others.
  • Know that you will not find the perfect person. There will be some red flags for you to consider.
  • Red flags alone are not the issue; it is your willingness to accept an imperfect person—just as they must accept you.
  • Understand that the painful vulnerability that healing a damaged relationship requires begins with self-sacrifice like that of Jesus. It is a sacrifice that may require a very high cost. But like Jesus, it is in that sacrifice that we have hope for our greatest fulfillment.

Like my uncle who suffered from debilitating pain for years due to a misdiagnosis, I believe our marriages and relationships suffer because we have accepted the wrong diagnosis. Our marriages are in major crisis because of it. What are some steps we can take to reduce the impact of our selfish impulses?

Raising Sons in a ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ World

By
Courtney Reissig
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Men who behave badly are all over the news these days. In fact, it’s been so much a part of our national conversation for the last year that I’ve had this post (most of it, anyway) written since we found out that we were having another boy—raising the Reissig boy total to four. I’ve been mulling over these thoughts for the better part of a year and finally got around to editing them. Unfortunately the national conversation about men doing bad things hasn’t changed one bit. It’s only gotten worse, which has only increased my desire to process what it means to raise four sons in a world where men behave badly.

I was raised in a house of all boys (except for my mom). I am the oldest of four, with three brothers coming after me. I consider it a great privilege to have been raised in a home where I was treated with dignity and respect. I’ve spent the majority of my life surrounded by men (or at least boys who grew into men). And I’ll do the same for the remainder of my life as I raise these boys.

As we begin the task of raising our four sons I am constantly thinking about the world they are growing up in. What will the world tell them about what it means to be a man? What will the world tell them about how men should treat women? What will we tell them? What will the church tell them?

There is a push on both sides to reduce manhood to either a machismo in the name of Christ or a machismo in the name of self. Both cannot be found in the Bible, and Lord willing, won’t be found in our home either. We have to tell them something about what it means to be a man, we just can’t tell them more than what God’s word does.

How manhood plays out in the various personalities, interests, gifts and cultures is wide and diverse. But what it means to be a man is unchanging. I’m less concerned about whether they play sports, and more concerned about if they stand up for the kid getting picked on. I’m less concerned if they choose cooking over a drill, and more concerned that they honor women as co-image bearers. You see where I’m going with this? I don’t want to make the mistake that the culture makes, and make manhood about one thing (in the culture it’s about sex and in some church contexts it’s about hyper-masculinity). The stereotypes don’t help anyone—man or woman.

So what does this have to do with helping my boys become men who reject the whole “men behaving badly” persona?

The most striking way a man can be set apart in our world, set apart for the Savior, is not by how much he fits a masculine mold but by how he treats women. The culture still embraces hyper-masculinity for men, so even if it’s under the Christian umbrella, it will smell familiar to the culture around us. What is less accepted (though there are pockets where it is) is treating women with fairness, kindness and respect. From the time sin entered the world women have been treated poorly and as objects to be discarded. But that’s not how God intended it.

Raising my sons to be godly men has less to do with masculine interests and more to do with how they treat others, how they treat those who are mistreated and marginalized, and how they treat women. I want them to understand that God created them male, and that’s good. But I also want them to understand that their maleness is not a license to live for themselves.

It’s this set apartness that speaks to a world that is ever in need of a true biblical definition of manhood. Not a caricature. Not a stereotype.

I want to raise my sons to behave in ways that honor and respect women no matter how men (and women) around them are behaving. Locker room talk? Call it out. Porn? Flee from immorality. We love and cherish women, we don’t exploit them for our gratification. There will be no “boys will be boys” in this house unless it means embracing the innocence of boyhood when they are little and walking the narrow road of faithfulness when they get older.

8 Ways to Finish a Ministry Job Well

By
Ron Edmondson
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Everyone loves a happy ending.

If you follow this blog, you know I’m in a season of transition again. When I got to my previous church someone on the search team asked me to reflect on how best to finish well. I didn’t know if I was the right one to do it, but I have had some experience ending. I’m not sure how well I’ve always done, but I have been intentional.

I knew in church revitalization that the way I ended my time there was as important as the beginning. And, in this last transition, I stayed an extended time hoping to help the church transition into a new, better season. (Lord willing they are. My successor has been named and I think he’s the perfect fit for the days ahead.)

I do believe, however, the way one exits a position says a lot about their leadership as they enter something new. Being strategic-minded as I am, I have always had an exit strategy. I know it is easier to follow a leader who finishes well, than one who leaves abruptly or under duress, so I have always wanted to be intentional about the way I leave. When leaving a church I planted, we were on good terms, and were going to something I believed God was calling Cheryl and I to do. I certainly wanted to help a church we still dearly loved in the transition.

Having recently left a church we helped revive, again we wanted to end in a way to protect the church going forward. We tried to be intentional.

It should be said, this post is based on the premise you are making the decision to leave, and the church cooperates with you in doing so. I realize that’s not always the case. I know some horror stories of how churches respond when a ministry leader resigns.

Here, in my opinion, are eight ways to finish well:

Give ample time for goodbyes – This advice was given to me by several mentors. They said if people have enough time to process my leaving, they will more easily adjust after I’m gone. In both of the last two transitions, I gave the staff almost three months notice and the church two months. It was interesting to see people who were surprised when I was still around, but it allowed people to say personal goodbyes to me (and my wife).

Slow decision-making – I always tried to make fewer decisions, which had lasting implications. When my opinion on a decision was needed or warranted, I made certain I included other staff members in the conversation or made them aware of all the pertinent facts of the issue.

Give access to key leadership – We had lots of invitations for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We love all the people of both churches, but simply couldn’t accommodate all the requests we received. In the church plant, we were saying goodbye to family members also, so our time was even more limited. I especially tried to make myself available to key influencers within the church, including staff, elders, core members and volunteer leadership. I was even more diligent in prioritizing my time.

Answer questions – Transition of any kind raises questions, but especially when it doesn’t make immediate sense to people. I expected the “Why” questions and I answered them as best as I could. Sometimes it seemed I was answering the same question over and over again, even for the same people. That’s OK. I knew this was part of the process to assist people in the dealing with the transition.

Hand off tasks – I’m a huge proponent of delegating, but there were certain responsibilities I specifically handled. I tried to shift these responsibilities to others on staff, or help them to disappear altogether if needed. I also knew projects I was especially passionate about may not happen going forward, and, that’s okay. I also knew new and exciting projects would appear as others received more leadership responsibility.

Share information – As with any position, I hold information others don’t have. I tried over the last months to share things with others on the staff on a need-to-know basis. As I cleaned out my desk and files, I passed along pertinent information to other staff members.

Validate leadership – In both occasions, I believed in the leadership, which remained in place. If I didn’t, I would never have been open to leaving a church so dear to me. I took every opportunity presented (and created some on my own) to express my support for the staff and my confidence in the future. I truly believed my leaving created opportunities for new momentum shifts and positive energy and I expressed that sentiment repeatedly.

Remain accessible – I tried to maintain the close fellowship I had with the church staffs; especially leadership teams, and I remained open to assist them anyway that I could. Both churches will always hold a special place in my heart, and I want to help where I’m needed.

It’s hard to leave a church God allowed to begin in your living room; especially when things are going so incredibly well. It’s also hard to leave a healthy, established church where you know God used your leadership. Transition is tough. I want the churches I love to continue to thrive, so finishing well is critically important to me. I couldn’t determine the way people would react to my leaving. I could determine what I did to leave graciously and how I responded to their reaction.

The ultimate goal for me is to defy the title of this post. I’ll never really be “finished” as long as my heart remains with the church. Even if only through prayer and continued friendship, my intentionality toward Grace and Immanuel will remain for a lifetime.

This article originally appeared here.

How Prayer Works to Expose Our Illusion of Control

By
Christine Yount Jones
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Let’s be honest about what we think about how prayer works: Sometimes we use prayer as a way to feel that we’re in control of a situation. But that is not the truth of how prayer works.

John Onwuchekwa, the lead pastor at Cornerstone Church in Atlanta, Georgia, shares how prayer really works.

In a recent video on the Cornerstone Church’s site, Onwuchekwa says that “prayer reminds us that control is an illusion; it’s a farce. We don’t have it.”

One could think that this sense of no control or being out of control could lead to hopelessness and depression, but Onwuchekwa disagrees. He says, “But far from that driving us to depression, I think it drives us to dependence. And when we depend on God, we see him in a whole new light.”

We are told in Matthew 6:8 that our Father knows what we need before we ask him.

The portrait that Onwuchekwa paints of our God that we pray to is not only beautiful but it’s also biblical (see Luke 11:10-13). Onwuchekwa says, “We’re reminded that the God that we serve is eager to do good to us. This is not a God that has to be coerced into solving our problems. But this is a God whose concern for our problems predates our awareness of the very problems that we have.”

“And more than that, God himself tells us the things that we should pray for so we don’t have to invent them all ourselves,” Onwuchekwa continues. “God is eager to come through. He’s eager to bless. He’s eager to help his children.”

Isn’t this what Romans 8:26-27 says: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

So not only are we NOT in control but we are also called to give up control. “And when we give up control, we’re reminded that it’s not a bad thing. Some of the best news that we have is that we aren’t in control because we serve a God that [is in control].”

Once again, Onwuchekwa emphasizes what Scripture has already said to replace our fear, worry, and grumbling with gratitude in prayer. (See Philippians 4:6-7.)

Onwuchekwa challenges us to be grateful: “As we come together and pray to a God who’s been good to us and desires to do good to us, grumbling is erased by gratitude. When we think of the things that he’s provided that we didn’t even ask for, we thank him because as we call out to him and pray, we’re only asking him to do the things that he’s already promised to do.

“So we don’t have to coerce him. God is eager. We’re not in control. And that’s some of the best news we’ve heard all day.” And Onwuchekwa sends us off with those words.

Watch the brief video here.

How Prayer Exposes the Illusion of Control from Crossway on Vimeo.

Onwuchekwa is a native of Houston, Texas, and was born into a Nigerian home where the gospel was cherished deeply and modeled excellently. After graduating from college, he studied at Dallas Theological Seminary. He’s served at churches in both Texas and Georgia and in 2015 moved into the Historic West End to help plant Cornerstone Church with his best friends. He and his wife, Shawndra, have been married since 2007. They welcomed their daughter, Ava, in 2017. They are eager to see the hope of the gospel restore a sense of family, dignity, and hope to their neighborhood through their local church of ordinary people. 

J.D. Greear: 4 Ways the Promise of Heaven Transforms Your Life Today

By
J.D. Greear
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

If you were to truly grasp the beauty and hope of John’s vision of the promise of heaven described in Revelation 21 and 22, what would change about the way you live your life?

Here are four ways the promise of heaven should transform our lives today.

1. We should put up our bucket lists.

For the three of you who don’t know what a “bucket list” is: Bucket lists are all the things you want to do before you die (kick the bucket) because you assume you’ll never have a chance to do them again. That’s never true for the Christian. When Jesus says that he’s making “all things” new, doesn’t that include all the mountains, stars, rivers, oceans, animals, culture, arts, music, architecture and extreme sports that you never got to experience on earth? Does your Bible have an asterisk with a list of things in fine print that are not included in that contract?

All means all.

Revelation 21:26 even says that “they will bring into it the glory and honor of the nations,” which has to mean the best of culture—the best Italian food, the best of Arabian architecture (a personal favorite), Renaissance paintings, even the best of Disneyworld. So even the manmade things we didn’t get to experience on earth, we’ll get to experience there!

The one thing we can’t do there that we can do here is tell people about Jesus, so give your life to that, not to pursuing some silly bucket list item you’ll experience a better version of in heaven anyway.

2. We should stop being depressed about aging.

Many people are really bothered by getting old. It depresses them to watch their beauty fade or to feel their body decline.

And I get it. I am 43, and I’m already feeling it. Sometimes I wake up in the morning sore, when all I did the night before was sleep. Sleeping made me sore. Somehow going from vertical to horizontal for a few hours was too much for my body. How does that happen?

But there is good news! I’ve got a glorified version of this body waiting. And so do you.

Stop being depressed about passing your peak. A better version of your mind, your muscles and your beauty awaits.

3. We should teach our kids to look forward to the promise of heaven.

Teach your kids that for all that they love on earth, there will be an even better version of it in heaven. Teach them that they have a heavenly Father of endless goodness and creativity. Help them imagine: What’s this cotton candy going to be like in heaven?

People have often asked me if their dogs will be in heaven. I used to give what I considered “tough truth”: “No, dogs don’t have souls, so they don’t live eternally.” Now I say, “You know what? It’s a new heaven and a new earth with a healed version of all that we loved down here. So, you figure out what that means.”

You say, “How about my cat?” Don’t push it.

Let’s teach our kids that God is the giver of every good and perfect gift, that no eye has seen nor ear heard what God has prepared for those who love him, and they can trust him in life and in death.

4. We should understand what we are longing for.

C.S. Lewis once said that the fact that we long for something beyond the grave is a strong indication that it actually exists:

“Do fish complain of the sea for being wet? Or, if they did, would not that fact strongly suggest that they had not been, or were not destined to be, aquatic creatures? We long to step out of the sea of time onto the land of eternity! Doesn’t that show we were created for eternity? If I find in myself a desire which nothing in this world can satisfy, the best argument is that I was created for another world.”

You may struggle to believe in the hope of heaven. But I want you to wrestle with the fact that there’s something in you that knows that you were created for more than simply surviving and procreating. That love you feel, the longing for meaning that you have—those are not just illusions created by chemicals in our brains programmed by evolution as survival mechanisms to help us propagate our DNA into the future faster than your neighbor.

You long for meaning and eternity because you were created with meaning by an eternal God, and you will be satisfied only in relationship to him.

For more, be sure to listen to the entire message here.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Get Your Fifth-Grade Boys to Worship

By
Mark Harper
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

The worship of children is precious to the Lord. He really likes it when children worship Him. In fact, the Bible calls it perfect praise (see Matt. 21:16 nkjv).

If the worship part of the service is for the Lord, what do you think He wants?

  • Does He want it to be exciting?
  • Does He want us to worship Him passionately?
  • What does a really good worship service look like?

There are many different styles and ideas about worship, but the bottom line is a good worship service is when everybody is participating.

If the kids are not singing, then you need to start asking some questions.

I was having a conversation with a children’s pastor, and I asked, “What is your biggest challenge right now?”

“I can’t get my fifth-grade boys to enter into worship,” she replied.

I asked her, “Are you doing motions with your worship songs?” “Yes, we are.”

“What do the fifth-grade boys think of the motions?” “They think the motions are stupid.”

At that point, someone else chimed in. “You just need to pray that they will get their hearts right, and then they will want to do the motions.”

Whoa! Wait a minute. Where does it say in the Bible that your heart isn’t right if you don’t want to do the motions?

The key to corporate worship is participation, but worship isn’t everybody doing the same thing at the same time.

If your fourth and fifth graders are participating in worship, they will in influence the whole group.

What does a good worship service look like?

Ask the oldest kids in your class.

Fourth and fifth graders think that they are little teenagers, so I would take a look at what worship looks like in the youth ministry. That’s where your kids are headed, so it’s good to sing songs that will prepare them for youth.

Here are some basic tips for a good worship service:

1. Have young worship leaders on the platform.

We use kids, teens and adults in our worship team.

2. Have male and female worship leaders.

If there are no men on the stage, the boys will not enter in.

3. Practice, practice, practice.

If you are using videos, you still need to have a rehearsal. If it’s not important to you, it won’t be important to the kids.

4. Drop the kiddie songs.

Use songs that they sing in youth or in the main sanctuary.

5. Not all songs work with kids.

Use songs that have fewer words and simple choruses.

6. All leaders and teachers in the room need to participate in worship.

If the teachers aren’t worshiping, the kids won’t.

7. Do regular teachings on how to worship God.

8. Pride is the biggest hindrance for kids.

If they are concerned about what their friends are thinking, they won’t enter in.

9. Be transparent.

Talk about how you have had to overcome your own pride issues.

This article originally appeared here.

What Happened to the Seven Churches of Revelation?

By
Madeline Arthington
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

The trip of a lifetime landed in my lap—visiting the Seven Churches of Revelation. Until recently, I didn’t even know all seven churches were located in modern-day Turkey. A friend and I flew to Izmir, Turkey, where we rented a car and drove to all seven churches in a quick, three-day trip.

In the end, we saw a lot of rocks.

Don’t get me wrong. They were beautiful rocks. But they were rocks, ruins of ancient cities once teeming with people long gone. In the apostle John’s vision of Revelation, Jesus spoke to the Christians in these cities, commending some but warning most. As I read Jesus’ words to the seven churches and learned about each location, I wondered how these rocks should change my life.

Ephesus-Selçuk

Ephesus was the fourth largest city of the Roman empire in the first century. A thriving commercial center and port city, Ephesus was also the home of a temple to the goddess Artemis. The amphitheater in Ephesus, which could hold up to 25,000 people, was the venue of the angry riot against Christians in Acts 19.

The amphitheater where the riot in Acts 19 broke out has also been the venue for rallies and concerts. Sting, Elton John and Diana Ross are among those who have performed there. Photo by Karrie Sparrow.

In Revelation, Jesus commended the Ephesian church for enduring hardships and hating the heresy of the Nicolaitans—early Gnostics who wanted to blend Christianity with pagan practices like sexual immorality. But others in Ephesus had fallen from their first love of Christ and received a sober warning: “Repent and do the things you did at first” (Rev. 2:5 NIV). Some scholars think these Christians may have caved to pressure to worship at the cult temple of Emperor Domitian.

The remains of a temple possibly built for Emperor Domitian during the first century. Domitian persecuted the early church and is responsible for exiling the apostle John to Patmos. Photo by Karrie Sparrow.

Over time, Ephesus physically shifted to what is now the small town of Selçuk, only a five-minute drive from the Ephesus ruins. Honeysuckle perfumed the air around the shops and streets I visited. The town is Muslim—as is 99 percent of Turkey. Even so, a small Protestant church of former-Muslim believers gathers in Selçuk for worship and fellowship.

Prolific, fragrant honeysuckle arches over shops of Selcuk, Turkey. Photo by Karrie Sparrow.

Smyrna-Izmir

The ruins of Smyrna’s marketplace are nestled in a city block of the thriving seaport city, Izmir. One of the oldest continuously inhabited cities of the world, Izmir is now home to more than four million people. When we pulled up to the ruins of ancient Smyrna’s marketplace, high school students spilled out from their school. They seemed ambivalent to the millennia-old city ruins across the street from them.

Horizontal lines of a current-day parking garage in Izmir, Turkey contrast with the vertical columns that hemmed in a marketplace of ancient Smyrna. Photo by Karrie Sparrow.

Finish the Mission

By
Ed Stetzer
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

I spoke at the 2011 Desiring God National Conference. The next five posts are from my talk, which is now in the book Finish the Mission.

INTRODUCTION

Modern Christians, particularly of the Western world, seem to trend toward one of two paths when they are talking about God’s mission. Either they will set off down a “sent-ness” path by emphasizing the church as being sent and what it means to be missional, or they will go down a “nations” path by emphasizing the church as the one sending around the world. While these two paths are not incompatible, they seem too often to be followed in divergent directions. The reason for this is that they often focus on different parts of the missio Dei. Yet, I think by exploring the commissions of Jesus, we get a better picture of God’s mission—we understand more clearly our missiology.

In the past century there has been a tremendous amount written on missiology. But as I write on missiology in this chapter, I do so because I believe there is still more that needs to be said, and this conversation is necessary for the health and growth of the church. I would take another step and suggest that the church today desperately needs to remain engaged in this conversation. A proper theological diet needs a healthy portion of missiology. And perhaps the best way to do so is by examining the commissions of Jesus.

In this chapter, I will focus on all four of the commissions of Jesus. We will examine what it means to be a missional, missions-minded, gospel-centered, Spirit-empowered church from the four commissions of Jesus, so that his name and his fame would be more widely known.

WE ARE SENT – a sending focus

The church is a sent people, and the sending focus of God’s people is captured in the Gospel of John. In John 20, after the resurrection, Jesus appears in the flesh to his disciples. In the first commission of Jesus, beginning in verse 19 John writes:

“In the evening of that first day of the week, the disciples were gathered together with the doors locked because of their fear of the Jews. Then Jesus came, stood among them, and said to them, “Peace to you!” Having said this, He showed them His hands and His side. So the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.”

And he says to them again in verse 21 (note the key phrase):

Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.”

Jesus is both sent and the sender. Readers are forced to make a hermeneutic decision. Is Jesus’ command to his disciples also applicable to us? Certainly, when you look at the commissions of Jesus, there have been times in the history of the church when Christians have said, “No, that just applies to those who heard the voice of Jesus in the first century.” But hopefully we will move beyond this limited application of Scripture and recognize that when Jesus speaks to his disciples here, at this moment, his command also applies to us. Jesus is both the Sent One, and the Sender of his people. Consequently, the church is, as the body of Christ, both a sent and a sending people.

Defining mission.

We are sent on mission. But what does that mean? Am I now a missionary? Am I missional? And here’s where our language requires clarification.

Defining mission might seem at first to be a relatively simple task. But, as you start, you see that there are challenges in defining the term mission. In 2010, David Hesselgrave and I edited a book on missiology, MissionShift. The first third of the book is dedicated to defining and describing the terms mission, missions, missional, missio Dei and missionary. Charles Van Engen, Keith Eitel, Enoch Wan, Darrell L. Guder, Andreas Köstenberger and I interact and respond to one another regarding how we define and/or described mission. It was a fascinating conversation. In my chapter, I conclude, “We need…a ‘cohesive, consistent, focused, theologically deep, missiologically broad, contextually appropriate and praxeologically effective evangelical missiology.’” Indeed, we need a clear understanding of mission.

The word mission comes from a Latin word meaning “to send.” That does not necessarily help us fully define what mission is biblically. Being sent and sending are major themes in the story of Scripture, but limiting our definition to the sending actions of God limits our view of mission in some significant ways. First, sending alone does not entail other important, mission-centered themes in the biblical stories. Second, broadening how we speak of mission also helps us to locate our actions in God’s grand plan for history, so this allows us to acknowledge that sending is always for a purpose. Avery Willis, an author and missiologist (recently deceased), describes mission in such eschatological terms. Willis says:

By mission I mean the total redemptive purpose of God to establish his kingdom. Missions, on the other hand, [as contrasted with mission] is the activity of God’s people the church to proclaim and to demonstrate the kingdom of God in the world.

Willis goes on to clarify the difference between mission and missionaries, saying, “Missionaries are set apart by God and the church to cross natural and cultural barriers with the gospel.” Mission, therefore, is conceived as the total redemptive purpose of God to establish his kingdom, and missionaries are those agents who carry out God’s redemptive purposes through the church in a variety of contexts.

It is important to note here that God has a mission and is on a mission. We find this in the biblical story. God is both sender and sent in Christ. God, the Father, is the source of mission. He sent His Son, who embodies God’s mission and accomplishes it. God’s mission is then extended and applied through the ministry of the Spirit, for it is the spirit calls, equips and empower the people of God. The mission is therefore God’s. He sends to accomplish his mission—the redemption of His whole creation. Jesus consistently spoke of Himself as being “sent” in John’s gospel and subsequently commissioned His disciples for this same purpose (John 17:3, 8, 18, 21, 23, 25). As the “sent” people of God, the church is the instrument of His mission (John 20:21). Missions flows from the mission of God.

Defining missionary.

So what’s a missionary? Some of you reading this are missionaries (according to Willis’ definition). You cross cultural barriers in Jesus’ name so his fame would be more widely known. In some sense, however, as Charles Spurgeon said, “Every Christian is either a missionary or an imposter.” So, how should we use the term “missionary”?

Let me suggest first an answer that not everyone will agree with. Precision in language is not as important as the emphasis on being sent. So, it is at this point that I like what Spurgeon says. Here, it seems to me that everyone should be able to agree with what he meant. When Spurgeon said, “Every Christian is either a missionary or an impostor,” he was saying that we all are sent by Jesus and are called to live in light of that sending. Christians are called to live on mission.

Second, I prefer to use “missionary” to refer to particular people who pursue a particular calling. While some might say, however, “All Christians are missionaries,” I would not typically phrase it that way. I would emphasis the “sent-ness” of all Christians to live on mission. Missionaries are those with particular ministry and calling to cross cultural barriers to make disciples of Jesus. We live in a pluralistic world, so people used to cross regional and geographical borders to do this. Now, many of us can engage readily in cross-cultural conversations without leaving our own cities. These opportunities will continue to grow.

Even as I more narrowly define missionary, I still think that the first step is to confirm the “sentness” of all disciples.

Defining Missional.

I (and others) use the term missional to describe a mission-shaped life. Missional is simply the adjectival use of the word mission. In other words, if I’m living a missional life, I’m living a life shaped by God’s mission—which is again simply a Latin-based word centered on the concept of being sent. As we have seen, the root of the word does not give a full picture of living missionally, for “sent-ness” implies purpose.

John 20:21 is ultimately is about God sending and about the fact that we are sent. So to be faithful to this text we focus on mission as sent-ness. Jesus said if you’re a follower of Christ, if you’ve been born again by the power of the gospel, that you are sent. It doesn’t matter what you call it. What matters is that when you’ve encountered God, when you’ve been made new in Christ, and that you stand before God saying, “Here I am, Lord. Send me.”

“I thought only missionaries were sent?” you ask. Well, they are. Those who live missionally are sent, too.

“Well, they seem more sent than us. I mean, they get odd clothes. They live in tents. They eat bugs. They are different.”

And after knowing and encouraging vocational missionaries for decades, I can say with certitude that, “Yes, missionaries are different.” But missionaries are not aliens. Their spiritual responsibility for the mission of God is the same as those who live in their hometown for their entire lives. The difference between the missionary and “County Seat First Church” member lies not in their sent-ness, but their context and the ways that they pursue their life of mission.

“As the Father has sent me, so send I you.” God is gracious. He is good. He is merciful. He is holy. God is also a sender. We forget this. He demonstrates it in the Old Testament when God sends Abraham to be blessed and to be a blessing to others. Jonah is sent. God asks the prophet Isaiah, “Who shall I send? Who will go for Us?” Isaiah replied, “Here I am. Send me.”

We could go on and on and on with examples of God sending from Genesis to Malachi. God sends, because he is a sender. God demonstrates his sending nature in the New Testament. As we have seen in John 20:21, Jesus says, “As the Father has sent me, so send I you.” The Father, in his sent-ness, begat the same nature in Jesus. Jesus, therefore, also has a nature of sent-ness. As Jesus’ disciples become transformed into the image of Christ, they, in turn, put on his sent-ness.

This article originally appeared here.

Tim Keller: Why We Should Bring Back Catechism for Children

By
Megan Briggs
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Is theological memorization and reflection for our children really that important?  Tim Keller, who is Senior Pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church and Co-Founder of The Gospel Coalition, believes Christians not only have a method, but also a mandate, to engage our children in the exercise of catechism. The word “catechism” means to memorize, and the act of catechizing has been done by various church traditions for thousands of years.

Keller explains the practice of catechism finds its roots in the medieval period as churches were grappling with ways to be doctrinally pure in the midst of a potentially hostile culture. In other words, how can churches and Christian parents help their children’s lives to be shaped by Scripture instead of imbibing the culture around them? If medieval churches were concerned with the dangers of being shaped by culture, then how much more should the modern church be concerned with the same danger? The need for childhood catechism is important in helping children to become faithful in their gospel witness in a sinfully broken world.

In this video produced by the Gospel Coalition, Keller outlines three important reasons to catechize our children:

1) Catechism helps children over time to know important biblical truths from their heart because they are ruminating and meditating on them on a regular basis.

2) Catechism creates categories for children that are like buckets of knowledge that become more “filled up” as that child grows through his or her adolescence and further into adulthood.

3) Catechism is communal because its method is a question and answer format that places an emphasis on dialogue with children instead of a one-sided lecture.

Pastor, Have You Been With Jesus?

By
H.B. Charles, Jr.
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thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

A friend and I talked about a conference we both attended during different years. I told him about the year I attended, then he told me about the year he attended. As he listed the speakers he heard, I asked about a particular name. I knew of this man’s ministry, but had never heard him speak. I inquired, “Can he preach?”

My friend answered affirmatively and emphatically. “He knows how to handle the text,” my friend expanded. “And you can tell he’s been with Jesus.”

The conversation ended there, because I did not say anything else. I could not. I was stuck on the statement, “And you can tell he’s been with Jesus.”

The statement itself was not new to me. I recognized the biblical reference.

Peter and John were arrested, because of their witness for Christ. And they did not waver in the Christian witness as they stood trial before the Jewish rulers, elders and scribes in Jerusalem. Almost parenthetically, Luke notes:

“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.” (Acts 4:13)

The apostles did not have formal education, institutional clout or ministerial prominence. But it was obvious that these men had been with Jesus. The religious leaders were not complimenting the Christlikeness of the apostles. It was just a plain statement of fact, even though these religious leaders did not know the magnitude of what they said. The words and deeds of the apostles made it obvious that these men had spent time with Jesus of Nazareth.

This is a great way to describe a preacher of the gospel. He has been with Jesus. Unfortunately, until my friend’s passing statement, I had never heard a preacher’s pulpit ministry described that way.

After scanning my mental files for a moment, I double-clicked on my own ministry. Could this be said of me? When I stand to preach, is it obvious to those who hear me that I have been with Jesus?

I take pride in the fact that I do not go to the pulpit unprepared. I labor in study to be faithful to the God-intended meaning of the text. I struggle in sermon preparation to be clear in my presentation. I saturate my heart and mind with the biblical truth to preach with passion. But the truth is that you can be faithful, clear and passionate in the pulpit, without ever giving the sense that you have been with Jesus.

The technical, academic and official aspects of ministry are important. Very important. But formal education, sound doctrine, spiritual giftedness, expositional preaching and leadership expertise do not make you a Christian ministry. You need to spend time in school. You need to spend time in study. You need to spend time in the text. But none of those things make a real difference if you have not been with Jesus.

Ministry is about fulfilling a calling, not practicing a vocation. We are not professionals, who happen to do our work in a religious context. We are servants of the Lord Jesus Christ. Every aspect of our life and work should submit to the lordship of Jesus Christ. And our submission to Christ should be evident to others by what we do in ministry, and how we do it.

When a soldier was court-marshalled for sleeping at his post, he claimed he was praying. With mockery, he was asked to pray during his trial. When he finished, the charges were dropped. It was concluded that he had to spend extended time in private prayer to pray publicly like that in a crisis.

Effective public ministry is the result of meaningful private devotion. You must spend time with Jesus, until you know what he wants you to say in that sermon. You must spend time with Jesus, until you get a sense of direction from the Lord about how to lead that congregation forward. You must spend time with Jesus, until you get wisdom from God about how to respond to that problem. You must spend time with Jesus, until you can hand that difficult person the fruit of the Spirit, rather than a piece of your mind. You must spend time with Jesus, until you can stand firm with spiritual boldness.

What does a pastor who has been with Jesus look like? 

He has clean hands of unreproachable integrity. He has steady feet that walk in obedience. He has dirty knees from time spent in believing prayer. He has weary eyes from diligent study. He has a renewed mind of biblical conviction. He has a broken heart for lost people. He has a listening ear for spiritual direction. He has strong arms from bearing one another’s burdens. He has a faithful tongue that speaks the truth in love. He has firm legs that stand strong in spiritual boldness.

Sure, you know how to handle to text. But can people tell that you have been with Jesus?

The pastor who has been with Jesus is a man of God. And he does not have to carry a big family Bible around everywhere for people to know it. He doesn’t have to put a religious bumper sticker on his car for people to know it. And he does not have to have a cross around his neck bigger than the one Jesus carried up Golgotha for people to know it. His walk, words and ways make it evident to those who see him and hear him that he has been with Jesus.

Sure, you know how to handle to text. But can people tell that you have been with Jesus?

This article originally appeared here.

9 Breakthrough Prayers for the Local Church

By
Brandon Cox
-
thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

At Grace Hills, having sensed something of the direction God was taking us as a community, we declared 2017 to be “the year of the breakthrough.” And we’ve seen breakthrough!

  • People have come to know Jesus and have been baptized.
  • Marriages have gotten back on track toward unity.
  • People have discovered and committed to biblical community.

And much more. God’s Spirit has been stirring our hearts as we’ve gathered before him. And it’s left us wanting more of what God wants to give us, which really means, it’s left us wanting to give ourselves more to his control and influence.

We held a worship celebration recently and referred to it as an “All In Gathering,” but it was really a meeting filled with prayer, praise and a little bit of preaching, too. The night culminated in us huddling together as a church family around the stage, praying over our leaders and asking God to show us how to follow him into the future more faithfully.

1. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Evangelism!

God, remove the blinders from the eyes of unbelievers so that the Gospel we are sharing will connect with their minds, hearts and wills. Empower us, as you’ve promised to do, to be faithful in sharing our own faith stories and the life-changing story of Jesus’ death for the sins of the world. Help us to faithfully proclaim the life-changing power of the message of the cross and Resurrection of Jesus Christ!

2. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Discipleship!

God, help us to identify people into whom we can pour our time, our lives and our knowledge. Help us to dive deeper into our personal relationship with you than ever before and to be formed, by your Spirit and your Word, into the likeness of Jesus Christ. And help us sustain a multiplying movement of disciple-makers!

3. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Community!

God, help us to live authentic lives with others, studying the Bible, holding each other accountable, offering encouragement and going deeper together. Give us friends who make us more like Jesus and help us to reflect God’s love to others.

4. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Ministry and Serving!

God, thank you for giving, entirely by grace, gifts for each of us to use in ministering to each other. Point us toward having the heart of a servant. Open our eyes to the needs of others around us and give our pastors wisdom as they equip us all for the work of the ministry.

5. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Our Mission!

God, help us to want what you want—the joy and gladness of all the nations as they hear your story of redemption. Open doors and empower us to go to new fields and people groups with the Gospel. And help us to live missionally in our everyday lives, representing you in our neighborhoods and workplaces. Help us bring the nations into the enjoyment of your glory!

God, help us also to see our role in our communities as redemptive. Use your Good News about Jesus to bring about reconciliation between ethnicities and factions. Help us to be healers in a hurting world.

6. God, Give Us a Breakthrough for Families!

God, for broken marriages, we plead for healing! For relationships between parents and children that are strained, we pray for unity! We pray that the enemy would be rebuked in his attempt to undermine the stability of families all around us. 

7. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Our Vision!

God, break our hearts under the burden of our broken cities and give us the vision and energy to keep on growing churches that influence their communities with the light and love of the Gospel. Increase our desire to see massive movements of people, drawing other people along in following Jesus! Forgive us for small or self-centered thinking. Help us to think bigger and pray Kingdom-oriented prayers.

8. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Generosity!

God, we trust you to provide for your work entirely, but we know that you often choose to provide for your work by raising up givers. God, bring financial peace and healing to people trapped under the burden of debt and release people to give and invest joyfully into the growth of your Kingdom. Help us to give in a way that reflects your own giving nature to others!

9. God, Give Us a Breakthrough in Worship!

God, we want to strive to be a church that you want to bless! Help us to so humble ourselves that we compel you to empower us like never before for ministry. And help us to communicate such joy, such truth, such grace and such passion in our worship that we compel others to join the experience of praising you.

The more we come to depend on an all-powerful God to show himself strong through our weakness, the more God will move among his people. Let’s pray as never before for God to expand the witness and influence of his church in this world!

God, give us a breakthrough!

This article originally appeared here.

8 Ways to Show Your Wife Respect

By
Dave Willis
-
thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

There’s been a lot of recent discussion about how “men need respect” and “women need love.” This view has gained more attention with the popular book “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It’s a wonderful book and I wholeheartedly recommend it, but some people have missed the point of his book (and my previous post on 7 ways a husband needs respect from his wife) by thinking that men only need respect (not love) and women only need love (not respect).

Aretha Franklin belted the classic “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” and women worldwide sang along. The truth is that both men and women need respect (and love), but that need is manifested in different ways.

I’ve received some great insight from my my amazing wife, Ashley, and countless women through face-to-face and online interactions. Based on these interviews, my own observations and biblical principles, I’m convinced that the list below sums up the primary ways a wife needs and desires respect from her husband.

Each marriage is unique (because each person is unique), so this list may not represent all people. The point of this post isn’t to squeeze everyone into the same mold, but rather to stir up some meaningful dialogue between husbands and wives which will ultimately lead to stronger marriages.

8 ways a wife needs respect from her husband (in no particular order):

1. Have eyes only for her.

A man shows respect for his wife by never making her feel compared to an airbrushed supermodel or a random woman passing by. Men make their wives feel safe, adored and respected when their eyes are “monogamous.”

2. Support and encourage her dreams.

A man shows respect for his wife when her dreams become his priority. In little things in big things, men should encourage and support their wives to achieve their hopes and dreams.

3. Work hard to provide for the family.

When a man works hard, it communicates respect to his wife. A lazy man is incapable of communicating true respect to his wife (or anyone else).

4. Help out around the house.

Each household is different, but in the homes where the wife manages the domestic duties, the husband should still be willing to jump in and help out. Doing the dishes or folding laundry is a simple way to show respect to your wife.

5. Engage in conversation with her and listen when she is talking.

I believe the typical wife’s need for communication is every bit as strong as the typical husband’s need for sex. A husband shows respect to his wife when he turns off his phone, turns of the TV and engages in meaningful conversation and he ALWAYS tells her the truth. Dishonesty is the ultimate form of disrespect.

6. Make time with your wife a priority.

A man shows respect for his wife when he makes her a consistent priority on his calendar. A husband should give his best energies to his wife; not his leftovers after he has given his best to hobbies, career or other pursuits.

7. Continuously pursues her.

Most guys are great at pursuing during the dating phase of the relationship, but we get lazy, inconsistent and unromantic in marriage. We show our love and respect to our wives when we continuously give them the best of ourselves and keep growing better with every season of life together.

8. Never give up on her!

Love means believing in someone even when they struggle to believe in themselves. Do this for your wife. Bring out the best in her. Build her up through your words, your actions and your respect. Let her know that your commitment to her and your love for her is unconditional and unshakeable. That will give her the confidence to take on the world knowing you always have her back!

This article originally appeared here.

Is God’s Love Really a “Reckless Love”? (Yes, It Matters)

By
Stephen Altrogge
-
thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

There’s a massively popular worship song right now called “Reckless Love” by Bethel Music’s Cory Asbury. The lyrics of the chorus are:

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

Like a good Reformed blogger, after listening to it I began thinking about the phrase, “The reckless love of God.” Is God’s love really reckless? What does that mean? Does that phrase capture the biblical concept of God’s love?

What Does “Reckless” Love Mean?

First, let me say that I fully understand what Asbury was trying to say in the song. As an artist (I’m using that term loosely) myself, I hate it when people perform theological surgery on art without trying to understand the creator’s intent.

Asbury was trying to capture the glorious, breathtaking, staggering, blows the mind nature of God’s love. The saving, redeeming, rescuing love of God truly is unfathomable and oceanic. It’s a perplexing, head-shaking kind of love. It’s the kind of love that surpasses words.

I’m totally on board with singing songs that express the wonder of God’s love, and I appreciate what Asbury was trying to do with the song and the words “reckless love.”

But even though God’s love detonates our dictionary, the words we use to describe it do matter. And I actually think that the phrase “reckless love” sells God’s love short. It actually minimizes the love of God in some ways.

The Overwhelming, Never Ending, Intentional Love of God

In just about every context, the word “reckless” either means not heeding danger or not knowing the outcome and acting anyway.

A parent who plunges into a burning house to rescue a child is reckless in the sense that they’re ignoring the danger and might die in the process. That could certainly be called reckless love and is probably the most positive example of recklessness.

An investor who plows money into stocks without any knowledge of the company is reckless and will probably end up bankrupt or owing money to guys who carry baseball bats.

When a NASCAR driver makes a dangerous move to pass another car, he’s a reckless driver.

You get the point.

God’s love, on the other hand, is incredibly intentional and fully omniscient, and that’s what makes it so beautiful.

When it comes to saving and rescuing and redeeming and loving us, God knew EXACTLY what he was getting into.

In 2 Timothy 1:9, Paul says that God:

…saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began…

Before he created the world, God knew that he would send Christ into a sinful, wicked, twisted, bent and broken world to die for our sins. He knew precisely what would happen. He knew that we would reject him, abhor him, worship false gods and be his enemy.

And yet in spite of this, he planned to save us.

To save me. To save you. That truly is overwhelming, never-ending, intentional love.

When Jesus went to the cross, he was well aware of Isaiah 53:5-6, which says:

But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

When Jesus set his face toward Jerusalem, he knew what was coming. He knew that the wrath of God toward sin—my sin and your sin—was going to be poured out on him.

When he sweat and trembled and plead with God in the Garden of Gethsemane, he was fully aware that he was about to be swallowed up by the overwhelming hatred of God toward sin.

And yet he still went to the cross. Deliberately substituting himself for us. Intentionally spreading his precious blood over the doorframes of our lives.

This is not a reckless love. This is love so intentional and specific and knowing that it takes your breath away.

God knew how much it would cost him to redeem us. He knew that his beloved son, the one adored by angels and upholding the world by his word, would be spit upon and mocked and ripped open by whips and pinned to a cross and pierced by a spear.

He knew that Jesus would scream, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

And he knew that the Immortal One would be swallowed by death.

The glory of God’s love is that he knew exactly what it would cost…

…and he did it anyway.

reckless love of god

Delighting in the Love of God

Is God’s love reckless? No, it’s so much better than that. He loves us specifically and intentionally. And because we know that God didn’t spare his own son, we also know that he won’t withhold any good thing from us.

This kind of overwhelming love propels us to worship and adoration. It moves us to say, “Father, why would you save the likes of me?” It drives us to our knees in humble gratefulness.

Do we deserve it? No. Could we earn it? Never. But God lavishly loves us anyway.

Charles Spurgeon, who never seemed to have trouble finding the right words, said this:

reckless love cory asbury

Amen to that.

 

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