8 Ways to Stop Biggering and Start Bettering the Church

July 12, 2018

Remember the Once-ler? From The Lorax by Dr. Seuss? He was a fairly normal guy who wanted to build a big business at the expense of the environment, so he kept “biggering and biggering” until all the trees were gone, the wildlife had vacated the landscape, and his business crashed.

The little children’s book seems to leave us with the impression that biggering is bad. But I’m not convinced that should be the big lesson.

The story is told of Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, that he once sat quietly through a board meeting listening to his executives brainstorm about how to get bigger. He suddenly interrupted the chatter with a declaration: “If we get better, we won’t have to worry about getting bigger.” Talk about an Aha! moment!

We can make the church grow, or we can watch the church grow, and the difference boils down to bettering instead of biggering.

I often warn people who attend Grace Hills that if they’re just looking for a smaller church, we hope to disappoint them. And I further explain that the church must be intentional about growing larger because of our mandate to keep on making disciples out of a lost culture until Jesus comes. Then I follow up with the truth that while the church should grow larger, our energy should actually be invested in making it smaller. That is, we must put time and effort into turning the crowd into a congregation of committed Jesus followers who are in close relationships with a smaller number of people within the larger community.

This is why we talk a lot about how to spread out as we are growing up. America doesn’t need another enormous event center packed to the rim with spectators of a fantastic religious show. But America desperately needs a movement of Christians who spread out and infiltrate every pocket of our culture with the good news of Jesus.

I believe we’re seeing the beginnings of a bettering movement within our own Grace Hills Church family. We started small, with less than a hundred people when we launched. Now, somewhere around 600-ish people attend Grace Hills. But the really amazing story is happening behind the scenes where lives are really changing. *

I sat down at lunch not long ago with a couple in our church who lead a team of volunteers on Sundays and asked a simple question, “How are you guys doing?” Their response moved me. “Better than ever.” Their marriage is stronger than ever. They’re struggling through some disappointment and a difficult period of waiting in a very healthy way. And their intense passion for serving Jesus inspires me and makes me hunger to see many others share their experience.

What really grabbed me, though, was the part where they said, “Ever since we started coming to Grace Hills, and especially since we got involved in our small group…”

In their story is a big answer to what should be next for our church, and probably for yours too. We must focus on bettering and we won’t have to worry about biggering. So how do we get better? These are the principles forming in my own heart and mind about how I want to see the church at large improve…

Bettering the Church

We need to depend upon the Spirit’s influence and empowering, and to unashamedly confess that dependence in our prayer and worship.
We need to learn to tell God’s redemptive story, the good news, in a way that relates to our surrounding culture. We need to make the gospel central to our message and mission.
We need to focus on people—connecting with people, connecting people to other people, and meeting the needs people experience on a daily basis.
We need to make disciples and develop leaders rather than simply attracting more fans. Attracting isn’t bad, but failing to challenge those we attract to take the next step is a severe flaw.
We need to get bold about our vision for a world touched and changed by a God-sized movement. It’s time to stop apologizing for an intense desire to influence and impact the culture with truth and grace.
We need to sacrifice our comfort, our preferences and our personal agendas, and embrace change—radical, catalytic, movement-shaking change.
We need to be strategic, pragmatic and effective. These are curse words in some pockets of evangelicalism, but they are absolutely NOT at odds with biblical Christianity. We can be both faithful and fruitful.
We need to work together, in unity, as a team. Structural and institutional unity isn’t necessary, but working hand-in-hand for Kingdom-sized causes is.

The world doesn’t necessarily need bigger churches. But it definitely needs better churches, and better churches usually wind up bigger, and bigger isn’t bad.

Where does your church need to start? And what’s your role in the equation?

This article originally appeared here.

Why Every Church Should Address Depression and Anxiety

Jarrid Wilson

July 12, 2018

It’s no secret that my past was ridden with mental health issues—ones that kept me from wanting to live for much of my teenage life. I’m very vocal about this truth, and I will continue to be as long as my story may have an impact on others who need to hear it. And while I do believe today’s church is doing better at addressing the issue that is mental health, I believe there can be so much more done than what is currently taking place in regards to depression and anxiety. Let me explain.

I never tried to take my own life in my younger years, but I frequently found myself googling painless ways to commit suicide and really had no remorse once finding what I was looking for. It was a sad state to be in. The reality is that my life was infected with the burden of depression and anxiety, and the only places I could find reliable information from were not churches in my local area. Why? Because mental illness wasn’t really talked about.

I felt as if all the “Christian” resources were outdated and really didn’t address the fact that taking medication was OK in the eyes of God. There really wasn’t much information at all. It was as if all the answers I was finding were suggesting that I just needed more faith. Seriously? The last thing someone contemplating suicide wants to here is “just have faith.” I understand that Jesus has the power to conquer anything that comes my way, but please don’t throw Christians clichés at me. I wanted real, authentic and practical information, and I assume there are millions in this world who would want the same. It’s what Jesus would have done.

I really wanted to find help in the church, but there were no ministries or nonprofits working within the walls of local congregations that I could reach. All the counseling and help I received came years after I actually needed it, and it was found in the secrecy of a local medical facility, not a church—where it should have been all along.

Mind you, the church has come a long way since my teenage years in regards to helping those with mental illness, but I believe we can still do a lot more.

Some Statistics

1. It is reported that 1 in 10 Americans are affected by depression.

2. Over 80 percent of people who are clinically depressed are not receiving treatment.

3. The number of people diagnosed with depression increases by 30 percent every year.

4. An estimated 121 million people around the world suffer from depression.

5. In 2013, 41,149 suicides were reported, making suicide the 10th leading cause of death for Americans

6. In 2013, someone died by suicide every 12.8 minutes.

4 of My Proudest Memories of Being a Pastor

Ron Edmondson

July 12, 2018

This month I transitioned into a new role with a nonprofit organization called Leadership Network. In another post, when I understand it more myself, I plan to share more about what I will be doing. In short, we support pastors and the church. Our goal is to help with innovation, leadership development and best practices in the church. It’s an amazing opportunity.

This new position will be very full-time, so I will no longer be a full-time pastor. I came into ministry later in life, after a long business career. It’s amazing, however, when I realize I was a pastor for 16 years. It seemed to pass so quickly.

We had growth, renewal, staff and cultural health and community engagement. We made all the recognition “lists.” Looking back at four churches later (two revitalizations and two plants), God was incredibly graceful to us.

Considering everything we experienced in 16 years, there are a few things that I’m most proud to have experienced. And, they may not be the things I would have expected in the beginning.

Here are four of my proudest memories of being a pastor:

My wife is still my best friend—in life and ministry.

Cheryl is just as committed to me—and our ministry—as when we started. She placed a pillow in “my chair,” which says “Where you go I go.” People continually asked me through the transition process where Cheryl was in all this—and, it was easy to say she is as committed as I am.

I know many pastor spouses who checked out, because they had been burned by ministry. We worked hard to protect our marriage, our hearts and our joint commitment to ministry.

Both my boys love Jesus—and the church!

And, have felt their own call to ministry. One son works behind the scenes, supporting the church in his profession. He is active in his local church. He is consistently sharing worship songs or sermon messages with me that have inspired him. The other son works in the church and was on our staff. He’s passionate about sharing God’s word.

I came into vocational ministry later in life, so the ministry isn’t the only world my boys know. But, they witnessed firsthand the struggles of church planting and the difficulty of church revitalization. I know so many pastors who have children that grew up to resent the church. I’m thankful my boys stayed firm in their faith. We worked at this too. We didn’t hide things from them, we let them participate with us, and we allowed them to choose how they would express their faith within the church.

People felt welcome in the churches where we pastored.

Grace is attractive. Love is welcoming.

I’m thankful God led us to be churches that were attractive to passionate followers as well as those who were far from God. It doesn’t begin in the parking lot, although parking lot ministry is important. It actually begins in the workplace, the school and on Main Street.

In all four churches, we encouraged people to think outside the walls. My number one message was attempting to help people understand truth found in the grace and love of Christ.

We saw people far from God come to know, love and serve God.

Isn’t that what we’ve been called to do as churches?

We were blessed to be a part of growing churches, both in church planting and revitalization. One pushback to growing churches is all we care about are numbers. But, anyone who believed that never knew my heart. Every number for me always represented an individual story—a life change—a person who God passionately loves and wants to redeem for His glory and their good.

We experienced lots of stories over 16 years of pastoring. We cherish the testimonies, and keep all the cards, emails and notes of life change, as some of our proudest treasures in life and ministry. To God be the glory! For 16 years, He has been faithful!

It’s a new season for us in ministry. We won’t be actively shepherding a church. In fact, we will be looking for a church in which to attend. (We’ve always said if we found ourselves in this position, we’d attempt to make the best church members a church can find.) But, I’m thankful for God giving us an incredible 16 years of pastoring.

This article originally appeared here.

How Bonhoeffer Used Spiritual Disciplines to Prepare for Public Action

Matthew D. Hamilton

July 12, 2018

Dietrich Bonhoeffer largely derives his fame from his martyrdom at the hands of the Nazi regime. Under immense stress, Bonhoeffer’s religious convictions prompted him to fight for the true good of the German people against genocidal tyranny. Understandably so, less attention has been paid to his theology and his understanding of private Christian faith. However, Bonhoeffer’s life and writings demonstrate a vital nuance to personal, spiritual practices that ought to inform our private faith today.

Before his involvement in the assassination plot, Dietrich Bonhoeffer retreated to relative obscurity and operated an underground seminary in the German town of Finkenwalde. Here, removed from the political activities of his day, Bonhoeffer gives us the best glimpse of his expectations for personal spirituality.

Practicing spiritual disciplines

To prepare his seminarians for ministry, Bonhoeffer mandated disciplines very familiar to us.

Bonhoeffer required his students to read Scripture privately, writing, “We are not permitted to neglect this daily encounter with Scripture.”^[1] Bonhoeffer intentionally uses the word “encounter” here as he disallowed that this time would be an academic or pastoral pursuit: The ministers-to-be were not allowed to search for sermon material or use a Greek New Testament; rather, Scripture study was meditative, or prayerful, and enabled the Finkenwalde seminarians “to encounter Christ in his own word.”^[2] Thus, the “goal [of Scriptural meditation] is Christ’s community, Christ’s help and Christ’s guidance.”^[3]

Bonhoeffer also insisted that his seminarians fasted. Arguing that it reminded them of their “estrangement” from the world, he regarded this practice as nonnegotiable.^[4] Just as prayerful Scripture reading ultimately looks to encounter God, Bonhoeffer does not see fasting as an end in itself but rather a response to faith in Christ, a means of orienting one’s life to God.

However, Bonhoeffer appears to speak out of both sides of his mouth, paradoxically railing against retreat from the world. In Ethics, he writes firmly, “For the Christian there is nowhere to retreat from the world, neither externally nor into the inner life.”^[5] In After Ten Years, he develops this criticism a little further:

In flight from public discussion and examination, this or that person may well attain the sanctuary of private virtuousness. But he must close his eyes and mouth to the injustice around him. He can remain undefiled by the consequences of responsible action only by deceiving himself… He will either perish from that restlessness or turn into a hypocritical, self-righteous, small-minded human being.^[6]

Developing a moral backbone

How then are we to make sense of Bonhoeffer’s actions and commands?

While condemning withdrawal from the world, Bonhoeffer appears to do the very thing he hates, retreating to Finkenwalde and exhorting his students toward inward-focused, privatistic practices.

Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating.

In her essay “Bonhoeffer’s Understanding of Church, State and Civil Society,” Victoria J. Barnett, director of the U.S. Holocaust Museum’s Programs on Ethics, Religion and the Holocaust, notes Bonhoeffer’s awareness of this exact contradiction: “The Finkenwalde experiment opened up the risk inherent in any kind of internal exile, which is that it becomes a flight into a privatized kind of discipleship.”^[7] Barnett thus indicates that while the Finkenwalde period may appear apolitical, Bonhoeffer understood this apparent contradiction.

However, his other writings—as well as more insight from Barnett—provide a fascinating dimension to Bonhoeffer’s personal spirituality which resolves this tension. Rather than seeing spiritual disciplines as a retreat from the world, Bonhoeffer understands spirituality as the necessary foundation for Christian political action.

Retreating to Finkenwalde, Bonhoeffer was not neglecting or refusing the world. Rather, Barnett’s essay highlights how he here sought “the creation of moral backbone and the establishment of the discipline his students would need if they were to stay on the right path” under the attractive Nazi regime.^[8] Personally, Bonhoeffer saw his meditation not as retreat but the only way he could take certain steps in public life: encountering God personally provided the necessary foundation for political action.

This moral formation via spiritual discipline does not, however, only apply to ministers.

Bonhoeffer extends this political dimension of spirituality to the local church because a church consumed with her own desire and self-interest cannot truly love her neighbor. Only by developing contentment and self-control will the church be able to be selfless, to be the church-for-others, as Bonhoeffer puts it.

Bonhoeffer thus resolves the apparent contradiction and demonstrates a necessarily political or public understanding of private spirituality. Rather than serving as an end-in-themselves, private spiritual practices function as a means to create genuinely Christian public action. Reading Scripture prayerfully may appear an isolated or individualistic practice, but such meditation forms our desires and builds virtue. Fasting similarly generates self-control, enabling—through God’s grace—the Christian to overcome selfish ambition and promoting generosity. Personal spirituality, though seemingly apolitical, therefore empowers the church to feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked and visit the sick and imprisoned.

John Ortberg: You Can’t Have a Healthy Marriage With a Sick Soul

Gary Thomas

July 12, 2018

In a book on soul keeping, John Ortberg gets about as honest as any writer I’ve ever read in revealing the petty ways we allow “little” spiritual sins to spoil our marriage. His words are a great springboard for us to discuss how it’s impossible to have a healthy marriage while harboring a sick soul.

“I suppose that the person I have sinned against the most is my wife… I had asked that question many times: ‘How do you know when you’re in love?’

The answer I always got—the answer I wanted to believe—was ‘You just know…’

With Nancy I just knew.

Except for when I didn’t.

Except for when she did something that bothered me, something that didn’t fit perfectly with my idealized, romanticized notion of what it would mean to have the greatest relationship ever.

When she would do something I didn’t like—when she disagreed too vehemently or I felt as if she was getting too directive—I would feel something turn cold inside of me. I would distance myself from her by making less eye contact and touching her less and speaking a little coldly.”

This is marvelous writing in a marvelous book (Soul Keeping: Caring for the Most Important Part of You), and I’m hoping John won’t mind the copious quotes since I’m also hoping this will help sell a ton of his books.

Unfortunately, I recognize way too much of myself in John’s account (maybe that’s why it resonated with me so much), particularly during the earlier years of my marriage.

“I wanted her to hurt”

That coldness I felt, which led me to respond with “less eye contact and touching her less and speaking a little coldly” sends (sorry for the pun) chills up my spine because that was me. I wasn’t verbally or physically abusive. That would have been too obvious. I’ve never used a swear word talking to Lisa and I’ve never even said something intentionally to hurt her. But I was good at withholding warmth. I’m ashamed of that. I hate it, looking back, but that’s what an immature person in marriage does.

John Ortberg continues:

“On the night of our rehearsal dinner, which was supposed to be all music and magic, she did or said something that I did not like (and that I no longer have any memory of), but I remember with great clarity sitting in the car with her late into the night.

In tears, Nancy said, ‘If you don’t want to marry me, say so.’

Love, anger, withdrawal, coldness, pain, guilt, melting. All this at a level too deep for my knowing. I had to keep two incompatible thoughts in my mind: ‘I am a good person’ and ‘I want to inflict pain.’

So I had to separate them from each other; I had to disintegrate my mind. This pattern became so embedded that my will couldn’t stop it. We honeymooned in Wisconsin. A few days into our marriage, she moved toward me romantically, but I withdrew behind a book. I would intimate to her that I did not want sex, even though really I always wanted sex. But I knew my coldness would hurt her a little. My sin crept into my sex life.”

The problem of marriage is the problem of unformed or ill souls relating through unhealthy responses. It’s not primarily about communication, finances, conflict resolution or in-laws. It’s about our sick souls. Even when we really desire something like sex, we’ll deny ourselves to make our spouse pay.

I counseled a couple where the husband also did this. Ironically, they had been fighting about him wanting sex more often! When his wife made herself more than available and even initiated in a provocative way, he remembered something she had done earlier in the day and thought he would make her pay by turning her down, even though he had wanted sex for a really long time.

He so wanted her to hurt that he was willing to hurt himself even more. There’s a little bit of the kamikaze pilot in all of us when it comes to marriage. Sick souls make sick decisions even when those decisions take a pound out of our own flesh.

Ortberg continues:

“Sometimes if we were with other people and she said something I didn’t like, I would get a little distant and polite with her and make a little more eye contact and grow a little warmer toward whomever we were with.

My mind was conflicted with thoughts of love and thoughts of bitterness; my feelings were split between intimacy and coldness. My will would move away from her in anger until things got really bad and she cried and I would feel guilty and move back toward her.

My face and the tone of my voice could create the effect on her that I wanted without ever being totally open about the deeper recesses of my mind and will. Sin was in my anger. Sin was in my deception. Sin was in my body—the way I would use my face to both conceal and to hurt.”

The Issue Is Sin

John correctly identifies that the key issue keeping him from loving his wife was sin. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand her as a woman. It wasn’t that he hadn’t learned her love language. It wasn’t that they were so different he didn’t know what to do. John knew exactly what to do, but a sick soul kept him from doing it.

“Nancy wanted us to see a counselor. We did for a few times that first summer, but I did so quite grudgingly. And then no more after that, not for many years.

I had a doctorate in clinical psychology because I believed other people needed help, but not me. Sin was in my pride. Sin was in my stubbornness. Marriage is revealing. If only I had eyes to see the sin in just about every area of my life…

This dance of withdrawal and approach continued on-and-off for 15 years. It was not the only dynamic in our marriage; we genuinely loved and enjoyed each other. But withdrawal was always at least beneath the surface, hibernating until the next painful episode. And then it got much worse. I had been colder longer and meaner than maybe ever before.

Nancy got back from a two-week trip, but I still did not thaw. I remember picking her up at the airport and still being politely distant; I can remember our eight-year-old daughter at the airport trying to push the two of us together for a hug. She knew that we were pushing apart. Children always know more than we think. That night Nancy told me that she could not do the dance anymore. She wasn’t going anywhere. But this dynamic was not about her. It was trouble inside of me, and I would have to work it out somehow.”

Setting the Prayer Bar High for Kids

Danielle Bell

July 12, 2018

Kids are the church of today and if we give them a chance to actively participate in prayer we may just be blown away.

Last night our church hosted a night of dedicated prayer to take place in over 40-50 homes all over the city of Birmingham, Alabama.

While prayer is probably my weakest spiritual discipline, I was so looking forward to this night for several reasons. The first is that the night was all about prayer; not fellowship and food, which are two things Baptist churches have seemed to master. Secondly, these groups were a great mix of people from all ages and walks of life. Lastly, the kids weren’t dropped off at a nursery or childcare, they were invited to the night of prayer. It was quite a night. Let me just say, we had church!

We Set the Bar Too Low for Kids and Prayer

As a ministry leader, I learned that we are setting the bar too low for kids and prayer. Oh I get it and I understand the questions. Several people asked me for confirmation that kids were really invited. I immediately exclaimed, “Yes, we are having church like in Jesus’ day—gathering together to hear and seek him and not divide into age groups scattered all over buildings.”

Kids Praying for an Hour Straight!

Then there were those who doubted kids would be able to focus on prayer for a whole hour. To be honest, I wondered that myself. (I don’t sit still well, and let’s just say I may have wiggled more than the kids at my designated home.) Then next was the question we all knew was coming (this time from a child, but we can imagine some adults were thinking it, too) “Do we have to pray out loud?”

After a solid hour of praising God for who He is, thanking him for all He has done, silent confession and intercession for others, I was reminded that I would take a house of praying kids over an adult house any day. Here are just a couple of things I heard from the mouths of babes…

Prayers From Kids:

“God let the lost look to You and bow down to You.”
“May the adults in this room be as bold about sharing Jesus as kids are.” (That one stung a little, but I knew it to be true with the crowd of kids that surrounded me in prayer.)
“Thank you for Jesus.” (amen.)
“Thank you for butter.” (I mean really, I loved this and wondered when was the last time I thanked God for butter.)
“God help me have the courage to share my faith at school even when others make fun of me.”
“Thank you for our Sunday school teachers.”
“Thank you for clean water.” (Obviously they have been listening, as we partner with countries to bring clean water to those in need.)
“Help me be kind to others even when they are not nice back.”
Prayers for the homeless in need of shelter.
Prayers for our new pastor (we are in the search process) and the search team.

I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the point—the kids got it. One of the sweetest things to hear was the kids continually thanking God for things throughout our prayer time.

When we changed gears to confession or intercession, they weren’t bound to only these types of prayers. Thanksgiving prayers were still being uttered aloud as people were silently confessing or audibly interceding for others. (Thank you for science. Thank you for math.) They knew all things were from Him and came prepared to thank Him.

These kids boldly approached the throne of grace and not one (from the smallest preschooler) complained about us praying for a solid hour.

One child at another home said at the end of their time that “it just felt like 10 minutes.” Again, they get it. Doesn’t time spent with someone you love and you know loves you just fly by?

Lessons to Remember About Prayer Time for Kids

Prayer shouldn’t just be something we use as a transition piece in our lesson/classes. Prayer can be the lesson.
We underestimate and often undervalue kids when we limit prayer to a short amount of time because we think kids can’t handle long periods.
Kids pray as Jesus taught, to the point without a lot of show for attention. So, how can we intentionally guide them in more prayer times?
Kid’s get it. They can boldly and transparently lay their requests before a loving Savior. Instead of taking so long for prayer requests, why don’t we simply teach them to pray?
Kids are listening to what is being taught. Let’s make time for intentional prayer after the lesson and allow kids to talk it over with the Father.

I am done with expecting less of kids because they are younger. Really, in my experiences, we should expect more. So no more settling, I am setting the bar high for kids and prayer and I am going to sit back and watch the Lord work.

This article originally appeared here.

10 Marriage Lessons From Lysa Terkeurst

Christine Yount Jones

July 12, 2018

These marriage lessons from Lysa Terkeurst have been hard won. In 2017, Proverbs 31 Ministries head Lysa TerKeurst announced that due to her husband Art’s infidelity and lack of repentance, she had no other option but to seek a divorce. And the pain their family was in left them reeling. Her shocking announcement went viral, but was mostly met with love, prayers and support from her followers. We are grateful for these insightful marriage lessons from Lysa Terkeurst.

New Developments for Lysa TerKeurst’s Marriage

Recently, Lysa TerKeurst posted on her Facebook page surprising and hopeful news.

Her message reads: “A gift. A hard prayed for and fought for, glorious, messy, miraculous, honest, treasured gift of together. Happy Father’s Day, Art! The way you have pursued the Lord, healing, and us… is evidence of God’s supernatural grace and goodness. I’m praying for everyone praying for a miracle today. God has a plan but it will probably unfold in a way you never thought it would.”

churchleaders.com reached out to Lysa for an interview but we were declined because of her schedule issues. So we’re left to wonder: Is the TerKeurst marriage restored? What is the work that Art and Lysa have done to achieve the “treasured gift of together”?

For now, we’re left to glean from Lysa’s prolific social media posts for her 1.1 million Facebook fans. What’s the hard work Lysa refers to in her above post?

Marriage Lessons From Lysa TerKeurst

Be there for one another when the bottom falls out. Lysa has dealt with treatment for breast cancer this last year. And Art has been present.

2. Trust that God is with you in the midst of the messiness of life.

3. Forgiveness is never a one-time thing. Forgive again and again.

4. Cling to God.

5. Be empathetic toward others even when they’re in the wrong.

6. Humbly acknowledge your own issues and failings.

7. Trust God completely.

8. Believe that God can do the impossible.

9. Maintain a positive attitude.

10. Don’t expect perfection.

This isn’t some kind of formula that if you do these 10 things then God will restore whatever you’ve lost. Far from it. Rather, it’s a peek into the life of a public person who’s willing to authentically share her life. We’re grateful that we can learn from Lysa TerKeurst’s marriage and life. And we’re eager to hear more about what God is doing in the TerKeurst marriage in the days to come.

The devil is vicious, but he is not victorious.

_____________________________________

More Marriage Lessons From Lysa Terkeurst

Lysa Terkeurst blog – Lysa blogs at lysaterkeurst.com where she talks about how to walk with God and make it an invigorating journey through daily online devotionals, radio programs, online Bible studies, and more. Her tops pages are:
Rejection, Heartache, and a Faithful God – This is a post in which she talks about the end of her marriage to Art Terkeurst.
10 Prayers For Your Son – This is a post that will give you 10 powerful prayers to help you fight for the heart of your son. The prayers come from the book “Praying for Boys” by Brooke McGlothlin.
But God Verses – This message is regarding the “but” in our lives. How Lysa has found a big defeater in her life by following up statements about what she wants or needs to do with the words “But I.” She gives verses on how to combat this thinking.
10 Prayers for Your Daughter – In this powerful post, Lysa speaks about what we can do with that gap where our mommy capabilities ends and trusting God begins. How to trust God with everything beyond our control with our kids and not feel scared. We must fill that gap with the only thing that bridges the space between our limitations and our trust in God…prayer.
Sharing an Update With You – Here is where you’ll find Lysa Terkeurst go live on Facebook sharing about how she went to get a mammogram. How she got a biopsy. And was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Lysa Terkeurst books – Lysa has authored many best selling books such as: Finding I Am, Uninvited, The Best Yes, Unglued, Made to Crave, and What Happens When Women Walk in Faith. You can find them all here.

Lysa Terkeurst tour – Lysa has a speaking schedule that includes conferences and events all over the United States. You can find her schedule here.

Lysa Terkeurst podcast – Lysa’s podcast is called The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast. Renee Swope joins her as they talk about intersecting God’s Word in the real, hard places we all struggle with. Every episode features a variety of teachings. Lysa shines Christ’s light and shares her love for Jesus. Her ministry is far-reaching, saving souls and helping women across the globe.

Lysa Terkeurst quotes –

“Feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate where your heart is in the moment, but that doesn’t mean they have the right to dictate your behavior and boss you around. You are more than the sum total of your feelings and perfectly capable of that little gift . . . called self-control.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions

“God can take what Satan meant for shame and use it for His glory. Just when we think we’ve messed up so badly that our lives are nothing but heaps of ashes, God pours His living water over us and mixes the ashes into clay. He then takes this clay and molds it into a vessel of beauty. After He fills us with His overflowing love, He can use us to pour His love into the hurting lives of others.”
Lysa TerKeurst

“Not reaching back for what was lost in my yesterdays. And not reaching for what I hope will be in my tomorrow. But living fully with what is right in front of me. And truly seeing the gift of this moment.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely

“God’s love isn’t based on me. It’s simply placed on me. And it’s the place from which I should live . . . loved.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely

After reading these marriage lessons from Lysa Terkeurst, what lessons would you add?

Founding Pastor at Highpoint Church Resigns

Bob Ditmer

July 12, 2018

Chris Conlee, the founder and lead pastor of Highpoint Church in Memphis, has resigned. Conlee initially supported Andy Savage, the former associate pastor at the church, following the revelation that Savage had a sexual encounter with a 17-year-old while he was youth pastor at a Texas church 20 years ago.

The church sent a statement to members on Wednesday saying, “Over the last couple months, Chris and the trustees have been praying and discussing the direction and future of our church. We have arrived at a point of respectfully agreeing to go in different directions for the kingdom. We love and respect each other.

“After much prayer and counsel, the Trustees and Chris have mutually agreed that the time is now for Chris to pass the baton. This will enable us to recalibrate our search for a new Teaching Pastor in the search for a Senior Pastor.”

“It’s a relief that Pastor Conlee resigned his position at Highpoint Church, and it allows Highpoint a new beginning after a difficult period of time,” said Julia Dahl, a founding member.

“In his own words from the pulpit in January, Chris Conlee disclosed he had known about Andy Savage’s conduct prior to inviting Andy to co-found or lead in Highpoint Church,” said Dahl. “With that knowledge, Chris elected to do nothing to protect that victim of sexual assault.”

Meanwhile, Jules Woodson, the woman who accused Savage of sexual assault, told WATN-TV that she was shedding “good tears” thanks to the news. She also said the news was the “high point of her birthday,” which coincided with the release of Conlee’s resignation. “This was the right decision,” she told the TV station.

“I would say the majority of the core group of members who have been going here since the beginning have sustained the church through each season,” Drew O’Brien, a church member, told WREG-TV,” adding, “We are hopeful for the future.”

It was reported that Conlee would say more to the church on Sunday.

10 Things I Would Do Less Often if I Were Pastoring Again

Chuck Lawless

July 11, 2018

Yesterday, I posted about some things I would do more often if I were serving as a pastor again. Today, here are some things I would do less often:

10 Things I Would Do Less Often if I Were Pastoring Again

Counsel. I’m not a trained counselor, and there are options for Christian counseling today that weren’t readily available 35+ years ago. I would still counsel when necessary, but I’d much more quickly refer folks to trained counselors.

Worry. At least, I hope I would worry less. This many years later, I’ve learned that many of the things I worried about then (e.g., a disagreement with someone, decreased attendance for the week, etc.) work themselves out if we remain faithful.

Spend hours in a hospital room. I often spent entire days in the hospital when members were having surgery. I’d still visit the patient and family, but I wouldn’t always stay the day. Many families are comfortable with the pastor praying with the patient prior to surgery and then later checking on him or her.

Lead a small group long-term. In both churches I pastored, I taught a Sunday school class at different points of my ministry. Were I to do it again, I would teach only short-term classes to free me up for sermon preparation.

Expect perfection from others. To be honest, I was so focused on everything going well because my name was on it that I harmed some relationships. I didn’t realize the importance of helping believers grow in their own ministries and abilities.

Complain. I didn’t do it publicly, but I complained privately. Even the few people who heard my rants didn’t grow through them, I’m certain. I suspect they only saw me as a complainer who spoke behind the backs of others.

Imitate others in preaching. All of us have our preaching heroes we want to emulate. Because I so focused on that goal, it took me longer to grow comfortable with my own preaching style.

Lead monthly business meetings. My churches had scheduled business meetings each month. I now know that a well-structured church with leadership and accountability usually doesn’t need to meet monthly. I would meet no more than once per quarter unless emergency needs arose.

Preach when sick. I seldom missed a Sunday when I was scheduled to preach (I once preached within 10 days of having an emergency hernia repair—because I didn’t want to let the church down). Even so, I now wonder how many people I made sick when I preached despite my illnesses.

Strive for denominational position and recognition. Sometimes you learn over time that what seemed so important when you were young doesn’t mean so much when you’re older.

What would you do less if you were starting over again?

This article originally appeared here.

7 Things Leaders Should Stop Doing

Dan Reiland

July 11, 2018

As leaders, we have a finite amount of energy.

We either use that energy wisely or waste it. And one thing for sure, we never get it back.

Each day presents us with 24 hours in which our physical, mental, spiritual and emotional capacity is packaged. That capacity is dispersed through our God-given human energy. At the end of each day, our batteries need to be recharged.

There are some responsibilities you carry as a leader that tend to zap and drain your energy more than others. Things like a confrontational conversation that carries emotional intensity, or working on complex details of your church budget. But you must still do them anyway.

There are other things we do as leaders that consume and deplete our energy that we don’t have to do, and in fact should stop doing.

The scary thing is that they are sometimes embedded in our habits in such a way that we don’t realize we’re doing them. And even more scary, sometimes we do know and do them anyway.

So, I’ve written an important list of things that if you stop doing, you’ll accomplish more, realize a rise in your stamina (energy), and overall experience a higher level of satisfaction.

This is a unique list of practical items that don’t fit within one specific category and yet are essential for you and me as leaders to make sure we stop doing.

(Note: There are entire categories not included, such as your spiritual life, practical ministry, etc.)

Which one(s) speaks to you today?

7 Things Leaders Should Stop Doing:

1) Worrying about what others think of you.

You will be misunderstood, and you will make unpopular decisions, and not everyone will like you. If you lay awake at night worrying about these things, they’ll eat you alive.

It’s not easy, but let it go. That doesn’t mean you become callous and/or pretend you don’t care. It means do the right things, with wise counsel, and keep going.

2) Procrastinating difficult conversations.

If you’ve been leading for a while, you know that putting off a tough conversation only makes it worse. You will likely imagine it more difficult than it will actually be, which is energy draining, and the delay allows the problem to become larger.

Don’t move so fast that you are not prepared, but facing the tough conversations quickly often gives energy.

When you have the difficult conversation, you feel a sense of accomplishment, and often relief, because it went better than you expected.

Left unsolved, mistakes get bigger not better.

3) Showing up unprepared.

I know what it’s like to have a full schedule, with many things required of me and a to-do list that’s never done. It’s tempting to show up unprepared, almost “justifiable,” but it’s never a good idea.

In everything from the next talk you’ll give, to a meeting you’ll lead, the anxiety caused by not being prepared drains far more energy needed to prepare. And of course, you never feel good about it afterward.

4) Focusing on results over relationships.

As a leader, you are expected to produce results and simultaneously develop relationships. This is never easy, and it nearly always creates pressure if you allow results to rise above relationships.

Focusing on results over relationships may seem expedient at the moment, even pressure relieving, but over the long haul, it’s costly. The relational price tag is incredibly draining.

The bottom line is that over time, if you tend to genuine nurture and development of relationships, while you work diligently toward results, the fruit of your ministry will be greater and last longer.

5) Expecting those who follow you to know what you’re thinking.

There are two items on this list that speak to me personally, and this is one.

In some strange way, I have occasionally caught myself assuming others around me should know what I’m thinking. Perhaps I have allowed myself to assume something like, “Well, we’ve worked together a long time, they should know.” No, they shouldn’t.

That kind of faulty assumption is an energy killer because it wastes so much time, and it’s often counterproductive. If left unchecked over time, it can even cause conflict.

Speak up, make yourself clear, let those you work with know what you’re thinking.

5 Ways to Become a Better Kidmin Leader

Corinne Noble

July 11, 2018

Here are 5 ways to become a better kidmin leader. As leaders of children, families and volunteers it is crucial that we continue to grow personally. We should never stop learning, growing, and becoming better leaders. John Maxwell says, “People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.” That being said, here are five sure-fire ways for all of us to become better leaders.

1. Read
I am sure this is not new news to anyone reading this. To be honest, I have struggled with this one because I’m not a person who naturally loves reading. I’m learning the importance of reading “helpful” books as a leader and I think it’s important to diversify your reading as much as possible. Don’t just read one type of book or books written by one author. For example, in the last couple of months I have read Talk Now and Later by Brian Dollar (a family ministry/parenting book), Cultivating a Cutting Edge Children’s Ministry by Dick Gruber (a children’s ministry book), and I am currently reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (a personal improvement book). My goal at the beginning of the year was to read one book a month. I am not quite meeting that goal, but I am a work in progress.

2. Blog
I will stop right now and say that blogging probably isn’t for everyone. I never would have considered myself a writer, but since I started blogging, my writing has improved tremendously. If you have thought about starting a blog, but are hesitant, just do it! If nothing else, it will improve your writing skills and help you organize your thoughts. That’s how kidmincorinne.com got started. It was just a place for me to organize my thoughts on events and set designs.

3. Network
Some people love networking and it comes easily to them, while others shudder at the thought. Networking can take many different shapes, though. You can network with other kidmin/pastoral leaders via Facebook groups, conferences and local gatherings. If your area doesn’t have a kid’s ministry group that meets regularly, start one. It’s simple—create a Facebook group, and start inviting people to join. Kid’s ministry can be a very lonely position, so don’t miss out on the opportunity to connect, learn and grow with other kidmin leaders.

4. Research
There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. If you are looking for new and fresh ideas for your kids’ ministry check out what other kids’ ministries are doing. You can do this online via Facebook, Pinterest and church websites, or you can hop in the car and visit some of the local churches in your area. You may want to give the Children’s Pastor a call before you drop in during a service time so they know you are coming to observe.

5. Pray
I have saved the best for last. Nothing will ever replace spending time in prayer and personal devotion time with God. We can try to be great leaders on our own, and we will burn out faster than a cheap candle from Dollar Tree. We need God’s strength, wisdom and loving support to help us become the best leaders we can possibly be. Lean on Him, and He will give you more than you need every time.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of ways to become a better kidmin leader. I am personally learning to grow as a leader in all of these areas constantly. What about you? What are some things you are doing to help yourself become a better kidmin leader.

This article originally appeared here.

The Reminder Every Youth Leader Needs

Greg Stier

July 11, 2018

I have a theory.

It’s about youth leaders.

I believe that down deep inside the heart of every youth leader worth his/her salt, there is a gospel ember burning. For some it’s just a smolder. For others it’s white hot. For most it’s somewhere in between.

But it’s there, waiting to be found, fanned and fueled … until it’s burning out of control and consuming everything and everyone in sight.

Sure, for many it’s hard to spot because it’s quietly sizzling under mounds of books and calendars and programs. You may have to look closely … but it is there.

Remember the Gospel

God has blessed me with the privilege of speaking to youth leaders all across the nation and I have met only a small minority who didn’t get into youth ministry with the goal of seeing kids come to Christ and grow in their relationship with Him.

Sometimes they just need to be gently reminded.

I saw this in action a few months ago when I was invited into a youth ministry classroom of sorts, filled with both youth leaders deepening their education and young seminarians. The professor was seeking to set up a dichotomy between my philosophy of youth ministry and his. He had a distinct and well-honed view, which he articulated very effectively. He knew my view was centered around mobilizing teenagers to advance the Gospel and, in the spirit of good natured, pedagogical polemics (I had to look that word up), he sought to set our views against each other before he turned over the microphone to me.

But I knew his background was outreach and youth ministry.

So, when it was my turn to share, I simply asked him, “Don’t you have a background in reaching teenagers for Jesus?” He said, “Yes.” I continued, “And, down deep inside, after all the training you’ve gone through and the degrees you’ve earned, isn’t that still at the root of why you love youth ministry?” His eyes began to well up a bit and he admitted, “Yes.” Then I turned to the audience of students and said, “Isn’t that why all of you got into youth ministry too?”

There were nodding heads across the room.

The Burning Ember Theory worked even in a classroom setting.

As Paul reminded timid Tim in 2 Timothy 1:6, “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.”

Let’s find, fan and fuel that Gospel ember in our hearts until it’s burning out of control!

6 Things Pastors Do to Kill Church Growth

Richard Chancy

July 11, 2018

Believe it or not, pastors can actually kill church growth even when they want it desperately. Over the last 10 years, I’ve had the privilege of consulting with hundreds of churches on leadership development, strategic planning, church construction and church growth.

Most of the time, church leaders want to focus on what they should do to grow their church. In reality, the quickest way to get your church unstuck is to STOP doing a few things.

Here are six things pastors do to kill church growth:

1. Stop using positive reinforcement as a guide or you’ll kill church growth.

Everyone loves a pat on the back; I know I do. If, however, your church is stuck, you can’t use people’s affirmation of the work you’re doing as an indicator of success.

The truth is, your church is perfectly designed to be the size it is right now. That means, for church growth to happen, you’re going to have to make changes.

Resistance always accompanies change. Hopefully, you will continue to receive affirmation, but don’t count on it. Use resistance as your guide. If what you’re doing feels good, you’re probably not doing it right.

2. Stop reinventing the wheel or you’ll kill church growth.

Every pastor who has ever planted a church has probably had the thought that they were going to revolutionize the church. I think God gives that audacity to make them crazy enough to do it.

Whether you’re planting a church or you’re replanting one, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Yes, you’ll have leadership tactics that are unique to you and your church, but you also need a strategy. You can borrow that strategy from other churches that have already done what you’re trying to do. Every moment you spend re-inventing how to grow a church is another moment you’ll spend in the “early struggle” phase of growing a church.

The trick is to get out of that phase as quickly as possible.

3. Stop letting people do you favors or you’ll kill church growth.

For years, I led a parking team at my church. If I’m being honest, I can tell you for much of that time I was helping out because that’s where the church needed help. That’s not a terrible thing, but it did leave me with the feeling that I was doing my church a favor.

Now I lead a high school small group every Sunday. I’m volunteering four times as much, and the idea of doing “favors” hasn’t crossed my mind. The reason is because I’m in the right spot now.

If you don’t have a solid process for helping people discover and serve in their area of gifting and passion, you’ll always have a crowd of people who aren’t really committed to service. They’re just doing favors, and there is no real passion in that.

Want to Reach New People? These 10 Habits Set Your Church Back

Tony Morgan

July 11, 2018

What is the first-time guest experience really like at your church?

When my team at The Unstuck Group helps a church assess ministry health, one key step we take is to attend and review the church’s weekend experience through the lens of an outsider.

That’s because once you see what an outsider sees, you can’t unsee it.

Serving in 100+ churches each year, we’ve started to notice some patterns.

What are the most common offenses? Here are the Top 10—the biggest issues with the weekend that we see the most often.

Keep in mind, these are only issues for churches that actually want to reach new people…

One last thing before I get to the list: Many of these issues show up in the “secret shopper” reports for large churches just as often as in small churches.

1. The Guest Services Area Is Staffed With People Who Don’t Engage With Newcomers.

The church feels like a private club. Guest service team members are more engaged with one another than with newcomers.

Guest services are the “first” in “first impressions.” If this team is off, my visit is off within minutes.

2. The Church Didn’t Welcome Me and Help Me Know What to Expect.

There’s a general lack of guiding visitors through the worship experience and explaining what to do in the different elements of the services, like singing, offering, etc.

Specifically welcoming new people is frequently missed. Someone yells “welcome” and then all of a sudden people start standing up, and then they sing. The only place I sing is in my car or in my shower. Guide me a little more. Invite me to sing, but give me permission to just take it in.

3. People on Stage Don’t Reflect the Church’s Target “Customer.”

The people on the platform should non-verbally communicate this is a safe place, a normal place, to the people you are trying to reach…just by being who they are.

Many times the platform presence doesn’t reflect that. A lot of churches miss the “75 percent rule”—having 75 percent of people on the platform in the same age range (or below) as the people you are trying to reach. (Credit to Lee Kricher in For a New Generation for defining it well).

4. The service order feels like an assembly of separate parts, rather than a cohesive experience.

Stop…start…stop…start… Nothing makes me check my watch more than a herky-jerky service. We sing two songs, there’s a video announcement, there are live announcements, we have a song for offering, message, another song, communion, closing announcement, benediction…

An unchurched person will be thinking, “Get me out. Land the plane.”

5. The Message Is Too Long.

Especially if there were already a lot of other service elements (see the last point), I’m not gassed up for a 45-50 minute message. Tighten it up, add a story, make it applicable and send me on my way.

6. Lack of Application or Next Steps in the Message.

I’ve given you an hour—give me something specific to take away that applies to my real life today.

7. Lack of Security in the Children’s Area.

If I can walk off the street into your kid’s area, that’s a problem.

My team often finds unlocked, dark rooms in the same hallway as kids programming, along with unattended external exits.

This is an issue we see far, far too often.

8. The Bulletins/Programs Are Too Crowded.

It looks like the Cheesecake Factory menu. What on earth am I supposed to choose to pay attention to?

This is a key first impression piece for a new person. It should welcome them, tell them what to expect and provide key info on kids ministry.

Unfortunately, many churches view it as the way to keep all the insiders informed.

The Truth About Your Men’s Ministry—How You Can Find Deeper Growth

Vince Miller

July 11, 2018

Almost every pastor will admit their church is deficient in the area of men’s ministry.

Men are a strategic force for change in the world, and they have an enemy, and it’s not what you think. It’s apathy. It is the appeal of inaction that lies within every man’s heart.

Despite what we may have heard, no man can truly thrive as a loner. According to Vince Miller, former pastor and now a popular men’s ministry speaker, “Men need interaction with others, and especially other men.”

Only 10 percent of the churches in America have an active men’s ministry. But surprisingly all that is needed for a men’s ministry to work is for a church to have a pastor that is committed to it, a man who wants to lead and the infrastructure to support it.

While the culture would attempt to silence the voice of men by attacking their masculinity, exaggerating male short-comings and belittling their Christian worldview, Christians believe this is not the answer. We believe men are a strategic audience and force for change in the world and that God ordained men with power, authority and the opportunity to define the world around them.

Miller, now the CEO and founder of Be Resolute Men’s Ministry https://beresolute.org/, was raised by an atheist single mother, but it was his Christian grandfather that spent hours mentoring him how to be a man. When his grandfather passed, Vince spent the next 20 years trying to find another man like his grandfather to mentor him. He asked two to five men each year. Every one of them said no, and the excuses were the same. Some said they didn’t have the time, and others admitted not knowing how.

Miller saw that men wanted to become better, but didn’t know how. “Each man has a silent voice that entices him to say and do nothing when God has called him into action,” he said. His personal rejections of mentorship spurred Miller to study how men thought, spoke and interacted with each other. These observations led him to to create a mentoring system for men that would remove both of the objections. He wrote Thirty Virtues That Build Men, a short book with 30 principles, two pages each.

In Thirty Virtues That Build Men, Miller applied what he learned. It includes starting with a goal. “What man doesn’t love that?” says Miller, “and [it] takes the guesswork out of a spiritual conversation and allows men to brother up with a friend, neighbor, church member or relative. By unpacking their thoughts with another man, it results in a rich spiritual payoff.”

Vince says when you hand a man the book, invite him out to coffee and ask him to mentor you, the two obstacles are removed. “Every man has time for coffee and the book provides all of the the structure you need.” he said. He has seen this method of men’s mentorship change men’s lives, and their family changed because of it. According to Miller, “When you change a man you change a community.”

Find Tools to Grow Your Men’s Ministry Today

SBC Leader Charged With 1997 Sexual Assault of a Teenager

Bob Ditmer

July 11, 2018

A former employee of the South Carolina Baptist Convention and International Mission Board has been charged in Texas with sexually assaulting a teenager 21 years ago. Mark Aderholt was charged with the sexual assault of a child under 17, according to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. He was arrested on July 3 and released on bond on July 9.

Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary confirmed to Baptist Press that Aderholt was a student at the seminary when the crime allegedly was committed. He graduated in 2000 with a master of divinity degree.

Sgt. Karen Standback, an Arlington police spokeswoman, told the Star-Telegram that she could not release information about the case.

Aderholt resigned as the associate executive director and chief strategist for the South Carolina Baptist Convention (SCBC) on June 19. The SCBC released a statement announcing Aderholt had resigned after a year and a half and that SCBC executive director Gary Hollingsworth received the resignation with “a heavy heart.” The initial statement did not, however, give a reason for the resignation.

He previously served several months as interim pastor for the Lakeside Fellowship Church in Roanoke, Virginia, now known as Freedom Fellowship of Roanoke, according to the church’s website. During that time, his wife, Kristi, served as children’s minister for the same church.

Aderholt also formerly served as the missionary to Eastern Europe for the International Mission Board (IMB), an organization affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. He’s cited as having served in Bulgaria and Slovakia, among others. In 2000, Aderholt and his wife were appointed as missionaries to the Central and Eastern Europe region.

Baptist Press reported that the IMB learned about the charges against him from the Star-Telegram’s July 9 report. IMB spokesperson Julie McGowan told BP, “It is our policy to cooperate with criminal investigations.”

McGowan said in written comments to BP that “IMB has a zero-tolerance policy against sexual misconduct that is shared with all personnel. If anyone has knowledge of a case involving sexual misconduct, we strongly encourage them to come forward, and we provide multiple avenues for them to report. When we are informed of possible cases of sexual misconduct of any kind, we investigate those situations immediately and, if warranted, take the appropriate action to report it to local authorities and remove individuals from IMB employment.”

What You Need to Know About Mandated Reporting for Abuse

Bob Ditmer

July 11, 2018

Here is Basic Guidance on mandated reporting for abuse from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

Many states require pastors and church leaders to report allegations of abuse. If you are a pastor, do you feel comfortable in your ability to follow the laws on mandated reporting for abuse?

In this video, Brad Hambrick, the pastor of counseling at the Summit Church in North Carolina, answers the questions of when to report and what should a pastor do if a report isn’t required.

What You Need to Know About Mandated Reporting for Abuse

Laws about mandated reporting for abuse vary from state to state but generally speaking Hambrick said mandated reporting for abuse is required if it involves abuse against a minor.

Abuse is defined as:

Inflicting or allowing non-accidental, serious physical injury
Creating or allowing a substantial risk of non-accidental, serious physical injury
Using or allowing cruel or grossly inappropriate procedures or devices to modify behavior
Committing, permitting, or encouraging the rape of the child or other sexual crimes
Creating or allowing serious emotional damage to the child
Encouraging, directing, or approving delinquent acts involving moral turpitude committed by the child

Pastors are also expected to report neglect based on these criteria:

Does not receive proper care, supervision, or discipline
Abandonment
Not provided necessary medical care
Lives in an environment injurious to the child’s welfare
Has been placed for care or adoption in violation of the law

Hambrick warns that many may fail in their reporting responsibilities because they’re unsure if abuse truly occurred. But he points out that a “reasonable suspicion” is all that the law requires and the authorities don’t expect pastors or others to be investigators. They have trained social workers to vet the charges.

When it comes to mandated reporting for abuse against an adult, the abuse victim is granted the choice of pressing charges or not. Hambrick said allowing the victim to make the decision of whether or not to report the alleged crime is part of restoring their voice and giving them back a sense of control over the major events of their life.

Another area for church leaders to consider is church discipline or confrontation with the accused abuser.

Hambrick said the church should stay out of the process until the victim has a plan and is emotionally ready to withstand the reaction of the abuser. “Premature confrontation of the abuser,” Hambrick warns, “places the disciplinary responsibilities of the church ahead of the well-being of the abused spouse. Discipline should happen WHEN–AFTER the abused spouse is ready for the additional distress this will bring.”

Hambrick acknowledges this is a difficult topic for pastors but points out “when someone talks to you about their experience of abuse they are giving you a high compliment. This kind of disclosure is risky and vulnerable. The level of trust they are investing in you speaks to how much they trust you and value your friendship. Because God loves the oppressed (Psalm 9:9) we must take seriously our call to be both God’s ambassadors and part of His refuge.”

A Slanderous Lie “The Church in America Is Dying”

Joe McKeever

July 10, 2018

“…and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18).

Have you come across that line yet? “The church in America is dying”?

We hear it from some pollsters and from people all over social media. They count heads and conclude that if membership numbers are down or if fewer Baptists are serving in Congress or the Catholic church is having internal problems, the church must be dying.

We get the impression that the speaker—the one with the harsh pronouncement—wishes it were so.

Not so fast.

Few things fire me up more than someone saying, “The church in America is dying.” I’m completely convinced that is entirely wrong and completely asinine. It’s an insult to the Lord Jesus Christ about His church, slander against the thousands upon thousands of faithful congregations hard at work, desperately trying to get it right, and is completely at odds with the real evidence.

In the midst of just such a discussion, someone pointed out that it may well be true that nominal church membership in America has declined. And that membership numbers of mainstream churches are dwindling. Even if we concede this, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s not like there aren’t ten thousand churches in America that are thriving—and thriving in the best sense of the word.

“Well, the numbers indicate…” Anyone who knows the first thing about Scripture surely knows the Lord never put a prize on huge numbers.

To make a case for that, the church of pre-Constantine days, persecuted and driven underground, was stronger and more vibrant than it became once the Emperor legalized Christianity and when pomp and pageantry became the order of the day. The larger numbers and overflowing coffers were accompanied by a lessening of the persecution God’s people had lived under, but church historians have long noted that the church of the Lord Jesus Christ does not fare well when politicians take ownership. As has been said, when we mix religion and politics, we get politics.

Throughout the centuries, at any given time some churches will be dead and others on life support. Nothing new about that. Toward the end of the first century, the ascended Lord Jesus said of the church at Sardis, “You have a name that you are alive, but you are dead” (Revelation 3:1). So, nothing in this piece should be interpreted as denying that some churches have died on the vine. And even if an entire denomination ceases to exist, that is a far cry from saying the church itself is on the way out.

God’s people—and everyone interested in truth—must be cautious in making such sweeping statements as “the church is dying in America” or even that a particular denomination has called in hospice.

There are non-indicators of life in churches, all would agree.

Big attendance may prove nothing other than the church has a popular speaker or that neighborhood is experiencing a rapid influx of church-goers. Lots of meetings and a full slate of activity does not prove that Jesus Christ is in that place. Noise. Fancy doodads. Lots of money. You can have them without being alive in Christ.

So, smaller attendance in church congregations, fewer television evangelists or a decline in seminary enrollment may indicate a lot of things, but not necessarily that the cause of Christ is being abandoned.

So, what would be indicators of life in God’s people?

One. Fruit.

The fruit in a Christian’s life and in a Christian church could be of a great variety, but these two predominate: people being saved and the saved becoming more like Jesus. Evangelism and spiritual growth. Anyone been saved in your church lately?

Two. Called Out.

The call to missions, to pastor churches, to do bold and innovative things in furthering the gospel of Jesus Christ are signs of health in a church. Has your church ordained anyone to the ministry lately?

Three. Vibrant Youth.

One pastor said, “In talking to the youth in our church, I was amazed at their faith in Christ and their love for the Lord.” How are the young people in your church?

Four. Love.

When you see God’s people loving the unlovely and showing genuine care for people whom they have nothing in common with, you know it’s a God thing. Anyone in your church who doesn’t look like the rest of you?

Five. The Scriptures.

More love for the Word, and a devotion to studying and obeying it, as well as distributing it—these are great indicators of life in a congregation. How is the Bible study in your congregation?

Six. Forgiveness.

Dealing with past sins—wrongs and omissions—mental health, etc. Over the last few years, our denomination (the SBC) has passed resolutions confessing and apologizing for racism and other wrongs. A good sign.

Seven. Church planting.

Even as some churches are always dying for a hundred reasons, a sign of vitality in a denomination is new church plants. In my former hometown of New Orleans, I’m told there are many new congregations of all types, many of them Baptist, but certainly not all. Good.

Eight. Sacrifice.

Sacrificial giving and living. When you see people denying themselves in order to minister to the hurting and needy, that’s a sign of health, an evidence of the presence of Christ in that life.

Nine. Outreach to the poor.

Defending the poor, the orphans, the needy, the voiceless and defenseless is a huge deal with our God, as found in both Testaments. My friend Stan Buckley, founder and leader of “But God Ministries,” based here in Jackson, Miss., shared with some of us recently about their presence in Haiti with medical clinics, homebuilding and a holistic approach. Then, BGM went a step further and established a similar ministry in the poorest town in the Mississippi Delta.

Those are nine indicators of health. You’ll think of more.

God is at work today, perhaps moreso than any time in my life, working in churches and parachurch ministries and God-called ministers.

These days, in my retirement ministry, I’m in a different church almost every week. What is delightful is to find rural churches of less than a hundred in attendance involved in world missions. Several times a year, I preach in Centreville, MS’s Baptist Church. In almost every instance when I’m there, it’s because Pastor Dennis Johnsey is with a missions team from that church in Ukraine or somewhere across the globe.

Another church where I spoke recently, the people were ministering in Belize. My son and daughter-in-law were in Puerto Rico this week with a group from their church in Mobile, Ala., putting roofs on people’s homes.

Those ministries rarely show up on anyone’s polls or stat sheets.

I can hear the detractors saying, “We’re not saying there are no healthy churches and no solid Christians. Only that the church is on its way out here in the affluent western world.” And I answer…

Be careful that you do not slander the Bride of Christ. When you pronounce a denomination dead or even one church dead, you’d better be on firm footing and know what you’re talking about.

It’s just possible the Lord is doing far more than you can see. Just possible.

This article originally appeared here.

July – Improve System Security Month!

Nick Nicholaou

July 10, 2018

While speaking at a conference recently, a cybersecurity expert whose company offers email user testing and training stated that KnowBe4.com’s solution was the best they’d ever seen. Little did they know I was in negotiations on The Church’s behalf with KnowBe4!

What Is It?
KnowBe4 is a subscription-based solution that allows an organization to send what looks like SPAM emails to users that include links, etc. The solution tracks who clicks on the links, and when they do, adds them to a group whose members must watch a short training video online to learn what to avoid. Watching the video removes them from the group.

I’m aware of organizations whose users started at an 80% or higher click-rate. They saw the solution to educate their team and get the percentage to under 10%. The results are a more secure user community, and improved security and safety for the organization.

What’s The Deal?
KnowBe4 offers a 10% discount to not-for-profit organizations, with an additional discount of 25% for a three-year subscription. So, they normally offer up to 35% in savings to charities.

Through our negotiations, KnowBe4 offered to add an additional 20% discount to any who say they were referred by MBS, and who contact a specific employee of theirs to sign up! That means you can get a 35% – 55% discount just by telling Tiffany Yeager (727.877.8226 or tiffanyy@knowbe4.com) you were referred by MBS! (As always, MBS makes nothing on your referral business, as per our by-laws.)

MBS Recommends Their Platinum Package
KnowBe4 offers a few packages; we believe the best for churches and ministries is their Platinum Package.

It’s July– a good month to improve your system security. This is a great way to do so!

The original article appeared here.

A New Approach to Recruiting Leaders

Matt Morgan

July 10, 2018

It’s the time of year for every children’s ministry worker…you know, right? It’s Volunteer Recruitment Time! Our church did an amazing job of educating the entire church body on service and calling them to commit to an area of service inside or outside the church. It’s been amazing to watch people, young and old, step up to serve all across the church.

As I talked with those who have committed to serving in the preteen ministry, I’m trying a new approach. Normally when we find a great volunteer with high leadership capacity, we hold onto that person for dear life and never let them graduate out of our ministry area. I know that my tactic in the past was to push people into the holes that I thought needed to be filled rather than really listening to their heart and providing an opportunity to serve in the place that God is leading them. This year is different.

My approach involves three things: vision, celebration and a question.

I begin by casting the vision for what we want our preteen small groups to be. And a HUGE part of that is calling the leaders to commit to spending two years with the same group. We want them to at least spend the 5^th and 6^th grade years walking alongside the same group of boys or girls. And instead of desperately trying to hold on to them, we encourage them to move into student ministry with their group. We just believe that this will be the best setup for life-change in the lives of students. But this takes a big decision and big commitment. That leads perfectly to the next part.

To help them see why this is so important and why we are asking them to make such a big commitment, we celebrate leaders who have done so already. We have leaders that have been with the same group of kids for several years and it is evident that their commitment has led to great fruit. We talk about those leaders and the effectiveness of their service. We share story after story of how leaders were able to be a part of a students decision to trust Christ, their baptism and their spiritual growth. We talk about how leaders have guided students through tough times because they were trusted mentors by the child and the parents. Just hearing these stories helps a person to see how their investment can lead to life-change.

Finally, I just ask them if they are able and willing to make that commitment. If they can’t make that commitment, it doesn’t mean we don’t want them to serve. There are places for them to serve, but leading a small group may not be the best fit.

We want to provide the most optimum environment for life change, and that means we must set the bar high for our leaders. We’re not 100 percent there yet, but my prayer is that over the next few years we reach a point where we no longer have to ask them to make such a commitment because it is just the norm.

This article originally appeared here.

Bettering the Church

Some Statistics

Here are four of my proudest memories of being a pastor:

Practicing spiritual disciplines

Developing a moral backbone

“I wanted her to hurt”

The Issue Is Sin

We Set the Bar Too Low for Kids and Prayer

Kids Praying for an Hour Straight!

Prayers From Kids:

Lessons to Remember About Prayer Time for Kids

New Developments for Lysa TerKeurst’s Marriage

Marriage Lessons From Lysa TerKeurst

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More Marriage Lessons From Lysa Terkeurst

10 Things I Would Do Less Often if I Were Pastoring Again

7 Things Leaders Should Stop Doing:

1) Worrying about what others think of you.

2) Procrastinating difficult conversations.

3) Showing up unprepared.

4) Focusing on results over relationships.

5) Expecting those who follow you to know what you’re thinking.

Remember the Gospel

Here are six things pastors do to kill church growth:

1. Stop using positive reinforcement as a guide or you’ll kill church growth.

2. Stop reinventing the wheel or you’ll kill church growth.

3. Stop letting people do you favors or you’ll kill church growth.

1. The Guest Services Area Is Staffed With People Who Don’t Engage With Newcomers.

2. The Church Didn’t Welcome Me and Help Me Know What to Expect.

3. People on Stage Don’t Reflect the Church’s Target “Customer.”

5. The Message Is Too Long.

6. Lack of Application or Next Steps in the Message.

7. Lack of Security in the Children’s Area.

8. The Bulletins/Programs Are Too Crowded.

What You Need to Know About Mandated Reporting for Abuse

So, what would be indicators of life in God’s people?

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