3 Reasons Why Crazy-Driven Ambitious-Type Leaders Need to Relax

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July 5, 2018

How good are you at relaxing? As in take a day off every week, and take a vacation once or twice a year and put your feet up kind of relaxing?

I was terrible at it for years.

Many driven leaders find themselves in the same boat.

To my mind, rest was for people who just couldn’t handle a real workload. If you went home at 4 p.m. or needed three weeks off, it was because you really weren’t committed to the cause.

There was a strange justification that happened in the back of my mind that told me the harder I worked, the more pleased God would be with me. After all—I was doing his work. And if you were working for God, why wouldn’t you give it everything you had plus an extra 30 percent?

People would tell me all the time: Your pace is unsustainable. You’re going to burn out.

I just ignored them. Honestly, I thought I was stronger than that, and the strange thing is, for the most part, I was. I could sense burn out and pull back from the edge just in time.

And for years I just ran in overdrive.

Until of course, I burned out. That was 12 years ago.

It’s amazing how you re-evaluate everything when your body and mind come to a screeching halt.

In the last decade, I’ve begun to see overworking through a new light.

And if you’re tempted to blow off the summer and keep your head down working, ignoring your spouse and kids and the beach and some rest…here are a few things to consider.

1. Just Because You Don’t Burn Out Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Miss Out.

One of the frequent questions I get from leaders is “Is burnout inevitable?”

Even though burnout is a virtual epidemic these days, the answer is, thankfully, no. You can over-work for years and not burn out.

But—and don’t miss this—just because you don’t burn out doesn’t mean you don’t miss out.

Jesus Is Always Bigger Than Your Faith

By

Jen Oshman

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July 5, 2018

Do you wonder if your faith is enough? Jesus is always bigger than your faith.

Do you wrestle with doubt and question your salvation?

Are you ashamed that you sometimes lack confidence in God himself?

The emotions surrounding our faith ebb and flow. We may succumb to doubt for a season, perhaps even convincing ourselves that our faith isn’t strong enough to be genuine. Anyone who has followed Christ for a while can probably relate.

In The Triumph of Faith in a Believer’s Life, the great 19th-century preacher Charles Spurgeon said:

Our life is found in “looking unto Jesus” (Heb. 12:2), not in looking to our own faith. By faith all things become possible to us, yet the power is not in the faith but in the God in whom faith relies. [emphasis added]

When we wrestle with doubts, we should remind ourselves of this precious truth: It’s not the strength of our faith that ultimately matters, but the object of our faith.

Like an Airplane
Years ago, on a flight from Japan to Taiwan, I was in the bathroom with my 4-year-old daughter when turbulence hit. Without warning, we were knocked to the floor. We hit the locked door so hard it burst open. We heaved up and down for what felt like an eternity, helpless against the air currents outside.

At long last, the turbulence subsided, and we returned to our seats with my husband and other kids. Their smiles told me that the little ones thought the bumpy ride was a blast. I, on the other hand, hated flying more than ever before.

Though that flight was horrible, I’ve flown in dozens of planes in the decade since. Yet each time I battle doubts and have to fight to keep my imagination from wandering. When turbulence hits, I grab my husband’s hand, willing the plane afloat with white knuckles. My faith in the airplane is weak.

Meanwhile, my husband’s faith and my kids’ faith is strong. They don’t give the airplane’s condition or our safety any thought. When turbulence strikes, they all shout, “This is awwwesome!”

But here’s the thing: Even though my faith is weak and my family’s is strong, we all arrive at the same destination. Even though I wrestle with doubt and they don’t, we all get delivered to the same place.

The captain doesn’t come back to my seat and say, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but because you doubt the soundness of this aircraft and my flying capabilities, we’re going to make an early landing and let you off in another city. You don’t get to arrive at the destination, because your trust is weak.”

Strength vs. Object
Just as it’s the power of the airplane, not the power of my faith, that delivers me, so the power for our salvation lies in the strength of our God, not in the strength of our faith. We must fix our eyes on Jesus, not ourselves (Heb. 12:2). His Word doesn’t instruct us to grow our faith by pulling ourselves up by our spiritual bootstraps. He doesn’t threaten to leave us if we can’t conjure up enough faith.

The power for our salvation lies in the strength of our God, not in the strength of our faith.

Jesus says, look to me (John 3:14–15). Come to me. (Matt. 11:28). I am the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6). Jesus promises to work when our faith is as small as a mustard seed (Matt. 17:20), for it isn’t the size of our faith that finally matters, but he who is the object.

Even our faith itself is a gift of God, as Paul says: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph. 2:8–9). Our entire life of trusting Christ is itself by Christ, through Christ and for Christ (Col. 1:16).

Carried
Our belief in God’s power is like the act of stepping onto an airplane. We may have uncertainties. We don’t understand how it all works. But we trust it with our lives. The Bible is clear: “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).

As we battle doubts throughout our lives, the knowledge of Christ’s certain power frees us to take our eyes off ourselves. Confessing our lack of faith, we cling to the sure and certain promise of his finished work on our behalf.

As Spurgeon said, the power to deliver us “is not in the faith but in the God in whom faith relies.” Just as the airplane carries us, so Jesus carries us—no matter what we face with along the way.

*******

P.S. A Christian radio station in Pittsburgh reached out to me the day this was published and interviewed me live on “The Ride Home with John and Kathy.”

Click on the link below, go to the show for June 13, fast forward to the 12:20 mark, and have a listen! The interview lasts just about eight minutes or so.

This article about Jesus is always bigger than your faith originally appeared here.

Three People Who Through Suffering Became Extraordinary

By

Randy Alcorn

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July 5, 2018

Seeing positive outcomes of some suffering should lead us to trust that God can bring good from all suffering. Consider three people who through suffering became extraordinary:

Joseph Merrick

Doctors once thought that Joseph Merrick, “The Elephant Man,” had elephantiasis, though now they believe he suffered from Proteus syndrome, which causes abnormal growth of bones, skin and other systems. Joseph was born in England in 1862 and appeared normal until age three. By age 11, his deformities had grown severe; at that time his mother died, and later his new stepmother kicked him out.

He became a door-to-door salesman but suffered constant harassment. His condition worsened: protruding, cauliflower-like growths appeared on his head and body, and his right hand and forearm became useless. No longer able to do physical work, he took a job as a curiosity attraction. After a promoter robbed and abandoned him, he returned to London and visited Dr. Treves at the London Hospital, where he received permanent living quarters. Despite his adversities, Joseph Merrick remained cheerful and gentle, and never grew bitter. He found comfort in writing, including poetry. He died at age 27.

Merrick often ended his letters of thanks with a poem by hymn-writing theologian Isaac Watts: “’Tis true my form is something odd; / But blaming me, is blaming God… / I would be measured by the soul; / The mind is the standard of the man.”

Helen Keller

Helen Keller was born in Alabama in 1880. A year later, illness took her vision and hearing. At age seven, her parents hired Anne Sullivan, whose innovative tutoring transformed Helen’s life. Helen learned to speak at 10, and though listeners had trouble understanding her, she never gave up. She attended college and wrote several books, including The Story of My Life. She devoted herself to research, speaking and raising money for organizations such as the American Foundation for the Blind. Helen traveled the world on behalf of the blind and visited 35 countries. At age 75, she embarked on a five-month-long, 40,000-mile tour through Asia, bringing encouragement to millions.

Christy Brown

Christy Brown was born in Dublin in 1932. His cerebral palsy caused everyone to consider him mentally handicapped until he used his left foot to grab a piece of chalk from his sister. His mother taught him to read and write. Well into adolescence, he could not speak intelligibly. He wrote an autobiography titled My Left Foot as well as several other novels and poetry collections. He typed using only his left foot. People loved Christy Brown for his warm and cheerful personality.

These stories don’t prove that God always brings good out of evil in this life. But they do prove that He sometimes does. Shouldn’t that give everyone hope?

This article originally appeared here and is excerpted from Randy’s book If God Is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil.

The Top 10 Slack Alternatives for Small Businesses

By

Andrew Conrad

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July 5, 2018

Update 6/28/2018: This piece has been updated to add new Slack alternatives and to remove communication tools that no longer make the cut.

For the Boomer generation, freedom meant car ownership. They shrugged off their overbearing parents and zipped around the country in Impalas, Mustangs, and Cortinas. Boomers coveted the open road, independence, and even disconnection.

For Millennials, liberation is access to the internet.

Millennials, as a community-oriented generation, tend to be plugged in at all times. For a majority of young people, being completely disconnected for an undefined period of time is terrifying — and it’s not just disconnection from the internet, but disconnection from their peers.

Given that Millennials now make up a majority of the workforce, it’s no wonder that online communication tools have reached new heights.

Project management software companies such as Asana and Crocagile are dedicated to rethinking email. “Social media” is not just a household word but an essential networking phenomenon.

And chat? Be it for personal or for business use, chat has evolved far since the days of AOL Instant Messenger.

The big daddy in business chat is Slack — so much so that a reviewer from The New York Times wrote:

“Slack has a few unusual features that make it perfectly suited for work, including automatic archiving of all your interactions, a good search engine and the ability to work across just about every device you use. Because it is hosted online and is extremely customizable, Slack is also easy for corporate technology departments to set up and maintain. These features have helped turn Slack into one of the fastest-growing business applications in history.”

Farhad Manjoo, The New York Times

Slack is not only highly effective at what it does — becoming a crossover success with Millennials who use it to go seamlessly from discussing business projects to chatting about “Game of Thrones” — but it even offers a robust free version.

It’s no wonder Slack has cornered much of the collaboration software market.

For now.

Slack offers more features than some teams may want to deal with, even in the free version, and the cost to upgrade ($8 per user, per month when billed monthly) may strain the budget of smaller organizations.

Innovation breeds further innovation, and Slack alternatives that address those concerns are emerging more quickly than Apple fans on iPhone release day.

10 free Slack alternatives for simple collaboration

With hundreds of chat options, I distilled the top Slack alternatives using these parameters.

Each top Slack competitor must:

- Offer a free option

- Cost less than Slack to upgrade to the least expensive paid version

- Be scalable to accommodate at least 500 users

Work well for small and midsize businesses (though may have options for enterprise companies)

Offer an iOS and an Android app

With that in mind, I compiled the top Slack alternatives that meet those parameters.

The products are listed in order of upgrade cost per user (least to most expensive).

1. Rocket.Chat

iOS | Android

An active chat with channels and members list in Rocket.Chat (Source)

Rocket.Chat, the Brazil-based collaboration tool, is designed for “communities and companies wanting to privately host their own chat service or for developers looking forward to build and evolve their own chat platforms,” according to their LinkedIn profile.

The app itself is open source, with more than 850 developers contributing to the project. Because it’s open source, that also means that you’ll never have to pay a dime for Rocket.Chat, and you’ll always have the fully featured version without any limitations.

The downside to open source is that you can’t call up customer service if you’re having an issue with Rocket.Chat (though you can seek help in the online forums on GitHub) and the project is constantly under construction.

Rocket.Chat has pretty much every feature Slack has and positions itself as a Slack alternative, but if you find a feature that is missing, you can request it on GitHub.

A cool bonus feature on Rocket.Chat is real-time automatic translation in more than 35 languages. That same feature requires a plug-in on Slack.

Upgrade cost: Completely free

Notable integrations: GitHub, Zapier

2. Fleep

iOS | Android

A Fleep discussion about Project Grudly running on a tablet (Source)

Fleep may have a whimsical name, but it’s a serious communication tool. In fact, the Estonian company calls its product “an ideal way to communicate.”

While many of these tools set out to replace email or make it obsolete, Fleep recognizes that email isn’t really going anywhere anytime soon. So instead of trying to ignore that email exists, Fleep integrates with it — similar to Google Hangouts in Gmail — allowing users to Fleep chat with each other from their email inbox.

That’s not the only way Fleep looks to open more lines of communication. Fleep is an open network, so users can chat with other Fleep users regardless of their platform, organization, or team. You can even Fleep non-Fleep users, as long as you have their email address. They’ll just get your Fleep as an email.

The free version even includes unlimited conversations and full message history. The team is still working on a built-in personal task management tool for the paid version.

Upgrade cost: 5 euros per month, for unlimited users (about $5.90 per month)

Notable integrations: Toggl, Jira

3. Stride

iOS | Android

Muting distractions such as the “this is fine” dog in Stride (Source)

Not to be confused with the “ridiculously long-lasting” sugarfree gum of the same name, Stride is a new (2017) collaboration app from Atlassian, the software development team behind project management tools Jira and Trello.

Group chat is the centerpiece of Stride, with rooms in place of Slack’s channels. You also get group video chat, even in the free version.

One of Stride’s biggest standouts is the “Actions and Decisions” feature, which allows users to pin milestones to the sidebar. When other users click on those highlights, they are whisked to the exact point in the chat where those decisions were made, helping cut through the clutter.

Because it’s so new, some users report that Stride is still working out bugs that cause occasional crashes. Still, Stride makes a lot of sense for current Atlassian users, and it packs so much into the free version that collaboration tool shoppers should at least give it a spin.

Upgrade cost: $3 per user, per month

Notable integrations: Bitbucket, Google Calendar

4. Flock

iOS | Android

A screenshot of a chat with the design team in Flock (Source)

Flock was designed to help teams cut down on email and foster more lightweight, on-the-fly communication. Sound familiar?

Like Slack, Flock also lets users form team channels, send instant messages, and share files.

So what makes Flock different? Flock offers videoconferencing calls for up to four users for 20 minutes, even in the free version.

On the downside, some users find that Flock’s bots and automated text and email notifications can become a bit much and are tricky to turn off.

Flock is best for small teams that are looking to test the waters with a user-friendly collaboration tool and that also need group video chats for four people or fewer.

Bonus: Flock even has an integration that lets you order an Uber from within the app.

Upgrade cost: $3 per user, per month

Notable integrations: Asana, Uber

5. Ryver

iOS | Android

A user composes a post in a public relations team channel on Ryver (Source)

If Slack focused on third parties — such as vendors, partners, contractors, advisers, and investors — instead of solely internal teams, it would probably look a lot more similar to Ryver. With no limitations on members and guests, Ryver includes plenty of room for expansion both internally (collaborators) and externally (clients, freelancers).

Ryver is a versatile communication system. Since the free version comes with unlimited messages, posts, teams, forums, and storage, it’s a good fit for smaller businesses that need a flexible tool they can grow into without blowing the budget. There is also the option to upgrade for custom invite messages and more task users.

Though Ryver largely targets small and midsize companies, they are planning on pushing out more enterprise features in the first half of 2018, such as SSO, full audit history tracking, and retention policies.

Upgrade cost: $19 per five users, per month (about $3.80 per user, per month)

Notable integrations: Zapier

6. uShare.to (HyperOffice Collaboration)

iOS | Android

uShare.to’s video chat and collaboration on web and mobile (Source)

Don’t let uShare.to’s “free trial” verbiage scare you off — their “free trial” is really a free version with no time restrictions. (We clarified that for this article, but if that’s not your experience, please let us know in the comments!)

If your company wanes closer to the “midsize” side of small and midsize businesses (SMBs), check out uShare.to. Their free version offers three shared workspaces, 90 meeting minutes, and 5 GB of storage.

The platform largely focuses on insurance, real estate, and auto companies — in other words, companies that benefit from discretion and mobility. As such, uShare.to offers SSL encryption, two-factor authentication, biometric authentication, and device management.

It doesn’t offer many integrations and relies on an “app builder” for plug-ins (though, it does integrate with essential digital asset management products such as Dropbox and Google Drive). That said, it’s a fully functioning communication and productivity tool, with calendars, contacts, tasks, document management, and notes, so there may not be much reason to use integrations at all.

Upgrade cost: $50 per user, per year (about $4.16 per user, per month)

Notable integrations: OneDrive, Box

7. Wimi

iOS | Android

A conversation with file attachments in Wimi (Source)

Wimi set out to take the best of what Slack and its alternatives have to offer and made its own complete project management system. With major brands such as Sephora, Shazam, and Tesla trusting Wimi with their project management and communication needs, it’s clear that the app is doing something right.

Wimi offers threaded messaging, videoconferencing, and advanced document management and editing features (such as file versioning, workflow approvals, and tags). It also offers a huge number of integrations, including MailChimp, Slack, Asana, Trello, Jira, GitHub, and Freshdesk, and it also offers an open API and SAML V2.

The biggest gripe from reviewers is that Wimi’s mobile app is missing some key features, such as full calendar access.

Though Wimi’s free version offers unlimited messages and 10 GB of storage, it only allows for three participants, which could obviously be limiting.

For $5 per user, per month, though, you can upgrade to 10 TB of storage, unlimited projects, unlimited guests, and file sharing. If you like what you’re getting in the free version but need to expand, that’s certainly a worthwhile business expense.

Upgrade cost: $5 per user, per month

Notable integrations: Basecamp, Skype

8. Twist

iOS | Android

Users discussing work on an About Us page and a team retreat on Twist (Source)

TechCrunch writes that, “Twist is Slack without the annoying distractions.”

Doist, the company behind Todoist (which is useful for practitioners of Getting Things Done), took some of Slack’s cornerstone features, such as threaded messaging, searchable history, and piles of free integrations.

Twist has a clean interface that is easy to jump right into, according to reviewers, and the free version comes with up to five integrations and 5 GB of total file storage.

In the free version, users can search only within the past month’s chat history — a limitation that can affect scalability. Additionally, Twist doesn’t offer videoconferencing or document management, so it’s best suited for small and midsize businesses that already have tools to meet those needs.

Upgrade cost: $5 per user, per month

Notable integrations: Appear.in, Bindle

9. JANDI

iOS | Android

The JANDI app operating on a laptop, Android, and iPhone devices (Source)

You might not have heard of JANDI yet, but it’s growing in popularity, with more than 100,000 installs on Android alone. This Korean company won Qualcomm Incorporated’s fifth QPrize competition.

JANDI was developed in Korea with an Asian audience in mind, but it offers fully translated English versions (including English tutorials and live chat). The app is filled with Aeni, or Korean animation characters, and references to KakaoTalk (South Korea’s most popular messaging platform), LINE (a popular Japanese communication app), and WeChat (a Chinese multipurpose messaging app).

But the same reasons that make JANDI a hit overseas — reliability, easy interface, and useful integrations — still hold true for North American users, and JANDI CEO Daniel Chan says that the development team is looking to expand into “new international markets (to) maintain good trajectory.”

JANDI emphasizes integrations with IT/developer and communication apps such as Zapier, Jira, and Dropbox, and offers videoconferencing.

The free version allows only one team admin and 15,000 messages. That might sound like a lot, but with up to 500 team members, those messages go quickly. This cap on message storage may prompt small and large organizations alike to upgrade to the second-tier plan, unless the company doesn’t mind losing its messages.

Upgrade cost: $5 per user, per month

Notable integrations: Dropbox, GitHub, JIRA, Trello, Google Calendar, Webhooks

10. Quip

iOS | Android

Collaborating in Quip (Source)

Quip is more than just a communication tool; it’s a full-suite, free collaboration software. Boasting clientele such as Facebook, Instagram, and EA Games, Quip has increased its profile since being acquired by Salesforce in 2016.

Reviewers find Quip to be reliable with a sleek interface, making it a great Slack alternative for those who just want to get stuff done.

Spanning industries — from HR to IT to sales to production — Quip’s target audience is simply teams. Scaling from small business to enterprise, Quip offers security (SOC 2 and SAML-based SSO), document management (uses a Google Docs-like commenting system to keep everyone on track), and unlimited chat history. Yes, even in the free version.

Quip’s greatest weaknesses include a lack of videoconferencing ability, a relatively high price point for what it offers, and an interface that some users find a bit clumsy.

The basic layout is much more reminiscent of Dropbox than Slack, so if you use Dropbox or a free Dropbox alternative to manage your work, then you should like Quip.

Upgrade cost: $30 per month for a team of five

Notable integrations: Giphy, Stripe

To Slack or not to Slack

Slack is one of the world’s top collaboration tools for a reason: it’s fun, reliable, and easy to use. But it also packs in a lot of features — more than some organizations will likely need. The cost to upgrade ($8 per user, per month) for features such as unlimited message search and group video calls might be a little high for smaller organizations. Hopefully these alternatives gave you a good overview of some of the simpler options that are out there for a little less.

The original article appeared here.

4 Ways to Better Communicate With Volunteers

By

Church Fuel

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July 5, 2018

Have you ever sent an email to those who serve in your church and wondered how effective it was?

Most mass email communications are at their best with a 20-30 percent open rate.

You’ve probably noticed that emails sent through your Church Management Software (CMS) aren’t always opened, and that’s if they are even received without getting flagged as spam.

While there’s a place for CMS emails, there are also other tools that can help you engage with volunteers in ways that are more likely to reach them.

It may be time for your church to try a fresh way to communicate with volunteers.

Here are four tools that can help.

1. Text Messaging Services

A Dynmark research report found that text messages have a final read rate of 98 percent, and 90 percent of text messages are read within the first three seconds of being received.

Many people spend a lot of time on their smartphones throughout the day, making these devices an excellent way to reach out to volunteers in your church. Tools like Flocknote, Text In Church, Pastors Line and SlickText allow you to send texts to volunteers quickly and easily.

You can use text messaging to remind volunteers about important meetings, alert them of schedule changes, or provide urgent inclement weather updates.

Many text messaging services also have the ability to integrate with other tools that your church may already be using, such as Church Community Builder or MailChimp.

2. GroupMe App

If you did a survey of the teenagers and young adults in your church, most of them have heard of the GroupMe app and are already using it to chat with groups of friends.

It’s a free smartphone app that allows people with various types of smartphones to communicate in one place. You can add events to the GroupMe calendar and set reminders. And for those who can’t or don’t want to download the app, it even works with normal SMS text messaging.

GroupMe is a great tool to try with a small group of volunteers, such as study group or youth leaders.

3. Facebook Group

To communicate with your church’s volunteers, meet them where they already are—on Facebook! Set up a private Facebook Group for volunteers and add people to it using their Facebook profiles.

Volunteers will get a Facebook notification when a new message is posted into the group. It’s a great way to create personal engagement within the group of volunteers.

A few creative uses:

Highlight a volunteer of the week
Share encouraging testimonies
Give birthday shout-outs
Post photos from volunteer gatherings
Ask engaging questions such as, “What was your favorite moment with the students this week?” or “Which new songs do you think we should learn and introduce to the congregation next?”

You could also provide volunteers with another opportunity to serve by giving a few of them the responsibility of managing and moderating the group.

4. E-Newsletters

Use a tool such as MailChimp, Vertical Response or Constant Contact to create an email newsletter for specific volunteer groups that is separate from the church-wide newsletter.

You can link to where volunteers can sign up for meetings or to serve at events while also using the e-newsletter as an opportunity to share the impact of that particular ministry and have some fun highlighting stories and volunteers.

For example, send a bi-weekly e-newsletter to volunteers in the children’s ministry that includes a special story from a child or parent and a section to recognize a volunteer who recently did something special to help out.

Any of these resources are a great start to better communication with your church’s volunteers. Evaluate your volunteer teams and current communication needs to decide where text messaging, GroupMe, Facebook groups or e-newsletters would be most helpful in your church. A fresh, effective way to communicate not only makes sure that important messages get to volunteers, but will also keep them involved and engaged.

Take a Next Step

How do you take the stuff in this post and put legs on it? From someone who used to be a pastor and church planter, I know it can be frustrating to implement.

We know you care deeply about leading a healthy, growing church because it means leading more people to Jesus. Leading volunteers is an integral part of that process so everyone can spend time on what they’re best at. As a result, we created a free guide to leading volunteers that will bring clarity and help begin to alleviate your frustrations.

This article originally appeared here.

For more great articles on leading volunteers, check out 25 Best Articles on Leading Volunteers (That Get Them to Stay and Thrive!)

Things I Wish My Teachers at Church Knew—Children of Divorce

By

Linda Jacobs

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July 5, 2018

Several years ago, a lot of attention on social media was given to a teacher, Kyle Schwartz. She didn’t know much about the students in her class, so she set out to find out about them by asking, “I wish my teacher knew…” She instructed the students to write their responses.

The results from that one simple question astounded her. One thing Kyle said on a TV interview was, “I realized my students had a voice, and I don’t hear what they want me to know.”

How many of our kids in our churches have a voice?

They need us to hear what they want us to know. Many times, we are so busy preparing, getting kids into classes, talking to parents and volunteers, and more that we can forget that we should give the kids a voice, too.

This is never truer than with the child of divorce.

Talk to any DC4K (DivorceCare for Kids) facilitator, and they will tell you these kids are talkers. The kids in my DC4K group share from their little hearts the things that bother them, things they feel they can’t tell their stressed-out single parents.

One little boy said, “I have all these feelings bottled up inside of me, and I don’t know how to get them out. For two years, 2013 and all of 2014, no one has listened to me.”

This child went to two different churches with his two divorced parents. And yet it was the DC4K class where he chose to open up and talk.

Why did he talk to us?

He talked to us because he felt safe.
He knew we wouldn’t discuss his confidences with his struggling, warring parents.
We asked him thought-provoking questions.
We gave him a place to talk when he wasn’t in a large group.
He talked at the snack table and the activity book table, where there was a caring adult and only a few kids.
We assured him we cared and loved him.
When he talked to one adult, after the kids left, we shared with each other what was said. We wanted to all be on the same page with this child.
Each of us prayed every week for this struggling, angry child.

Give the kids at your church an opportunity.

Ask some kids at your church to write out an answer to “I wish my church leader knew… ” The person who asks could be a Sunday School teacher, small group leader or Awana teacher.

What do the children at your church wish you knew about them?

Here are just a few things I’ve heard children say over the years I’ve ministered to hurting kids of divorce.

I’m hungry all the time since my dad moved out.
My parents fight a lot. I think they are going to get a divorce.
I’m divorced because my parents got a divorce.
I miss my sister. She lives with my mom, and I live with my dad.
I wish my teachers would call me by my last name, not my mom’s new husband’s name.
I don’t feel like I belong at this church because I don’t get to come every Sunday.

Another question you could consider asking:

“What I wish my teachers knew I learned…” or “What I learned at…” It is really an eye-opening experience to hear the students’ take on what has been taught.

Here are some things the kids in my DC4K groups told me when asked what they had learned in our 13-week class:

I learned divorce is an adult problem.
I didn’t know there were other kids who felt like me. I’m not alone.
I learned how to tell my parents how I was feeling. I wanted to tell them before, but they never asked me.
I learned it’s OK to be sad.
I learned how not to be mad at different people in my life.
I learned to be kind. I never really knew how to be kind before.
I learned it’s not OK to hurt people when I’m mad.
I learned divorce is frustrating. Frustrating for the parents and the kids.
I learned how to breathe from my belly when I’m nervous,.
I learned Jesus loves me. Did you know Easter is about when Jesus died on the cross?
I don’t have to get a divorce when I grow up. I thought I would have to, but now I understand I don’t.

Take a cue from elementary teacher Kyle Schwartz, and learn more about the children in your church.

This article originally appeared here.

The Four People All Ministers Need in Their Lives

By

Adam Weber

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July 5, 2018

All ministers need four faithful friends in their lives in every season. Are you in the middle of a hard season right now?

Maybe you feel trapped in a dead-end job.
You’re battling through tough circumstances in your marriage.
Just graduated and not sure where you’re going next.
Feel like you’re running uphill in ministry.
Can’t seem to catch your breath financially, spiritually or emotionally.

I’ve been there.

But regardless of what type of season I’m in—a frustrating one or a super fruitful one—I’ve learned there are four different people that I need in my life. Four people that I need to learn and grow (and some days survive). And four people I think you need too, in every season.

God knows that we need people. And Jesus shows us how important community is in the story of the paralyzed man in Mark Chapter 2.

Basically Jesus had come to town and everyone wanted to see him #CelebrityStatus. He was preaching in this house and it got so packed that no one else could fit inside, so people started gathering outside to listen or even just catch a glimpse of him.

Then we meet four guys. Four dudes who were carrying their paralyzed friend. These four guys wanted to get their friend to Jesus. Seeing the massive crowd they “made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’”

The four faithful friends did absolutely everything they could to bring the paralyzed man to Jesus. And he is healed. How awesome is that?!

Four Faithful Friends We All Need

I only hope that I have four faithful friends like this around me. Who are they? These are the four people we need in our lives at all times:

1. A close friend who loves you and loves Jesus.

We all need friends in our lives, those people we laugh with, cry with and share crazy memories with. But there is a certain type of friend that is different than the others, the friend who loves you, and who loves Jesus enough not only to be there for the good times, but also through the difficult times. The friend who isn’t afraid to tell you the hard truth because they love you enough to do that.

That’s the type of friend we need in our lives at all times, the type of friend who will lead us to Jesus.

A friend to pray for you.
Listen to you.
Cheer you on.
Love on you.
And you do the same for them.

But equally as important, a friend who will challenge you when you’re wrong.
Give you perspective.

Mom Says 7-Year-Old’s Avatar Was Sexually Assaulted on Gaming Site

By

Bob Ditmer

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July 5, 2018

Late last month, a Raleigh, North Carolina, mom was reading a book while her 7-year-old daughter sat next to her playing an online video game on her iPad.

“At first, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” Amber Petersen wrote in a Facebook post warning other parents about what happened to her daughter, Brooklyn. “Words cannot describe the shock, disgust and guilt that I am feeling right now.” Her post, which contains some explicit screenshots of the assault in its comments, has been shared over 6,000 times.

Brooklyn was playing the popular online game Roblox where players virtually interact with others using building block-like avatars. What Amber saw was Brooklyn’s avatar being sexually assaulted by two other player’s avatars.

“My sweet and innocent daughter’s avatar was being VIOLENTLY GANG-RAPED ON A PLAYGROUND by two males,” Amber wrote on her post. “A female observer approached them and proceeded to jump on her body at the end of the act. Then the three characters ran away, leaving my daughter’s avatar laying on her face in the middle of the playground.”

In a statement, Roblox said the company was “outraged” and that they had identified how the bad actor had “created the offending action.” The company said that it’s putting “additional safeguards in place to reduce the possibility of this happening again in the future.”

Not the First Roblox Complaint

But it’s happened before on the online platform that’s dubbed the “number one gaming website” for kids.

Just a few days earlier, an Australian mother said her 6-year-old daughter entered a so-called “sex room” level showing dozens of virtual characters engaging in sex. A quick Internet search shows similar complaints including parents who say their children have been sent “creepy messages” by some players.

Following the Australian incident Roblox told Newsweek in a statement, “A Roblox game, which can be built from millions of building blocks, can be vast. Before a game is published, our moderation team reviews all content uploaded into the game—such as photos, videos and sound files. While we can’t review everything that has been built within the game, we do react quickly to inappropriate content once it is published.

“In this case, the offending game was taken down immediately after we became aware of it, and the developer that built that game has been banned from the platform. We have zero tolerance for this behavior. Our work to ensure a safe platform is always evolving and remains a top priority for us.”

The platform has additional advice for parents: “While the imagery on Roblox has a blocky, digitized look, parents should be aware that some of the user-generated games […] may include themes and/or imagery that may be too intense for young or sensitive players,” a parental safety guide warns. Under a section for predatory behavior, it advises: “Talk to your child about online grooming, including what it is and what to watch out for.”

The Australian mother said she had to update the security settings on her daughter’s Roblox account to protect her from adult content and reports that the sex room has been removed.

Roblox has close to 70 million monthly active users of various ages, but it is especially popular with children under 12. Tami Bhaumik is the head of marketing and community safety for Roblox. She told TODAY Parents, “It encourages children to create their own games within the platform that allow them to have unique adventures, role play and even build friendships that often transcend the virtual world.”

In May of this year, the website was reportedly blocked in the United Arab Emirates over inappropriate content issues.

Is a Religious Test Being Applied to One Supreme Court Contender?

By

Bob Ditmer

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July 5, 2018

Two names emerged over the weekend as the leading candidates to replace Justice Anthony Kennedy on the U.S. Supreme Court—D.C. Circuit Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh and Chicago Circuit Court Judge Amy Coney Barrett.

Progressives don’t like either because of their originalist judicial philosophy, but one in particular is feeling their scorn—Judge Barrett.

David French, writing for National Review, offers an opinion as to why.

“So, beyond her obvious originalist judicial philosophy (shared to varying degrees by every person on Trump’s list of potential nominees), what’s the problem with Judge Barrett? Why do some progressives single her out for particular scorn?

“It turns out that she’s a faithful Christian who lives a Christian life very similar to the lives of millions upon millions of her fellow American believers.

“No, really, that’s the objection.”

The Qualifications of Amy Coney Barrett

Barrett’s credentials are impeccable. Law review, appellate-court clerkship, Supreme Court clerkship, elite law-firm experience, law professor at an elite law school, and now experience as a federal judge on the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. She’s also the mother of seven, including one child with special needs and two children adopted from Haiti.

But during her 2017 confirmation hearing for the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals, Barrett’s faith became an issue. French wrote that Senator Dianne Feinstein “imposed an obvious religious test on her nomination.”

“When you read your speeches,” Feinstein said during the hearing, “the conclusion one draws is that the dogma lives loudly within you. And that’s of concern when you come to big issues that large numbers of people have fought for, for years in this country.”

Barrett was eventually confirmed.

Amy Coney Barrett and People of Praise

After Barrett’s name emerged as a leading Supreme Court candidate, dark murmurings over her religious affiliations surfaced. The affiliation is with an ecumenical group called “People of Praise,” which the New York Times reported on last fall. Law professor and Senate candidate Richard Painter tweeted the Times story over the weekend and said People of Praise “looks like a cult”; another prominent critic one-upped Painter by calling it a “secretive religious cult.”

People of Praise was founded in 1971 in South Bend, Indiana, with a core group of 29 people. The group is part of the Catholic “Charismatic Renewal” movement. The original South Bend group now includes about 350 members, split into several smaller “branches.” About 450 people belong to People of Praise in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota, about 200 in Northern Virginia, and other smaller groups operate in 11 other states. The group also operates three Christian junior high and high schools in its three largest areas. By the late 1980s, according to the World Christian Encyclopedia, up to 10 million people in the United States were participating in the movement in some way.

Megachurch Pastor Resigns Following Allegations of Sexual Abuse

By

Bob Ditmer

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July 5, 2018

Mark Darling, pastor of Evergreen Church in Bloomington, Minnesota—a multi-campus megachurch—has resigned over allegations of sexual misconduct. The Board of Trustees of Evergreen Church rescinded Darling’s ordination before he announced his resignation. Earlier this year the church commissioned an independent investigation into the allegations against the pastor.

In a statement posted on the church’s website Sunday, the Board of Trustees wrote that they were made aware of allegations of misconduct regarding Darling on Jan. 30. The board commissioned an independent investigation on Feb. 9. The statement included some, but not all, of the findings from the inquiry.

“From the Investigator’s report ‘the investigation does support the fact that Mark Darling, while holding a position of authority, engaged in inappropriate conduct… Specifically, this conduct included spending time alone with women in private settings and inappropriate conversations with women of a sexual nature.’”

The investigation was conducted by Joan Harris, an attorney from Ogletree Deakins. Her probe centered on several allegations made by Suzanne van Dyck against Darling about physical sexual abuse; that the church was made aware of non-physical abuse and did not take appropriate action; that an attempt was made to cover up the abuse and tried to buy van Dyck’s silence with an offer of monetary payment; and related claims arising from those areas. The inappropriate activity is alleged to have occurred prior to 2001.

Harris’ analysis found that while van Dyck’s individual allegations of sexual abuse from more than 30 years ago could not be substantiated, “the investigation does support the fact that Mark Darling, while holding a position of authority, engaged in inappropriate conduct.”

The church said in the statement: “We regret the incidents of inappropriate conduct and apologize for the pain it has caused these women and their families. Pastor Mark Darling has resigned his position and we thank him and his family for their decades of service during his time at Evergreen. There is much grief and sorrow that comes with brokenness and we will seek healing and restoration for everyone involved through God’s mercy in the journey ahead.”

Darling is one of the founding members of the church. The investigation also revealed Pastor Mark Bowen, another founding leader of the church, was aware 17 years ago of at least two other women who had similar concerns about Darling, but failed to inform the Board of Trustees or take appropriate action.

Bowen will now step down as Chair of the Board of Trustees.

“We all have blind spots,” Pastor Brent Knox told the Bloomington congregation. “This has affected women and others in ways I regret, and to her, I apologize,” Knox said.

In a statement on Facebook Wednesday, van Dyck urged churches to acknowledge the pain of survivors of sexual abuse.

“I often wonder how differently life would be for survivors if the church had acknowledged their pain, prayed for them, encouraged them, and offered to lay down their lives to protect them from further abuse. I encourage churches I visit to live this biblical truth,” she wrote.

The Best Preaching Tip Ever

By

Brandon Hilgemann

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July 4, 2018

There’s a lot of advice floating around today telling pastors how they should preach.

Some of it is good, some not so good.

But in all this advice, we can easily miss the best preaching tip ever.

This is not some new tactic based on human wisdom or psychology.

No, it’s an ancient command from the Bible.

The advice I’m referring to is the charge from Paul to his young protégé Timothy:

PREACH THE WORD (2 Timothy 4:2)

You could be the greatest orator on the planet, but if you do not preach the Word, you’re not preaching.

Right before Paul gives Timothy this charge, he reminds him of the vital importance of Scripture—that “all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (2 Tim 3:16-17).

All of God’s Word is profitable. It’s not just something we reference to add credibility to our message. The Bible should be the source from which all our messages flow.

Now, our Bibles today have a chapter break after 2 Timothy 3:17 and the next verse, 4:1. But we need to remember that these chapter breaks were not in the original letter. So while we might be tempted to think about these sections as two separate thoughts, Paul intended to bind them together.

So Paul, having reminded Timothy of the importance of Scripture and knowing that his days on earth are almost over (2 Tim 4:6), compels Timothy with this final charge:

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry (2 Tim 4:1-4 ESV).
Paul’s charge to Timothy still applies to all pastors, preachers and Bible teachers today.

We must continue to preach the Word whether it is popular or not.

We must continue to preach the Word whether we see fruit or not.

We must continue to preach the Word whether people accept it or not.

THE DANGER ALL PREACHERS FACE

Paul predicted precisely what has happened ever since, that people would be tempted to reject the teaching of the Bible and listen to whatever sounds better to them instead.

He knew that there would be teachers who would say whatever they knew people wanted to hear, leading them astray. It was happening then, and it’s still happening now.

And If you’re not careful, you’ll do the same. It may not be a deliberate decision at first. Often, it’s a slow slide. But in your desire to grow your ministry, reach a bigger audience, be more relevant and win the approval of people, you might begin to water down the Word.

Just a little at first, to soften a few hard truths to swallow. But then one day, your sermons will no longer be based on the Bible, you’ll use it like Satan did in the wilderness with Jesus. It’ll become something you twist to say whatever benefits you.

So here’s my plea to all pastors young and old: Preach the word.

Even when it’s hard, when it’s controversial or when it seems dull, you must endure. Open your Bible, study a passage, think about the gospel connection, then preach it.

This is the calling of all pastors, preachers and Bible teachers. Preaching the word is how you fulfill your ministry.

All the best tactics, strategies and tricks will ultimately fail if you don’t.

If it’s not from God’s Word, it’s just words.

This article originally appeared here.

Your Pastor Is a Sinner

By

Rusty George

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July 4, 2018

Your pastor isn’t perfect, but we assume he or she should be close, right? That’s why when we hear of their fall from grace we are so shocked by their behavior. After all, they were our moral authority and example. They were the closest thing to Jesus we could see. We just expected more. I’m with you; I expected more too.

I lived through the televangelist scandal in the ’80s. My home church had its share of pastors making immoral decisions. We’ve heard of the atrocities of some leaders in the Catholic Church. We witnessed as some church leaders were exposed in the Ashley Madison scandal and now with #churchtoo people who have been victimized by pastors and church leaders. These church leaders should have known better, done better and been better than they were.

Let me be clear, I’m not making allowances for those who committed crimes or serious misconduct. Sexual predators and abusers should pay for their horrific atrocities. And pastors who have overstepped the bounds of morality and ethics should step down. But, this blog isn’t about those headlining cases. Instead, I’d like to address the often-overlooked fact that pastors are, in fact, both human and sinful just like the people they’re trying to lead. There’s no excuse for pastors when they screw up. But there are a few things I wish followers of Jesus everywhere would consider before burning their pastor at the proverbial stake when misconduct, disagreements or yes, even scandals, arise.

Your pastor is a sinner—so give grace.

We pastors struggle with anxiety, fear, lust, greed and envy just like everyone else. In many cases, even worse! After all, it was the Apostle Paul who said, “Why do I do what I DON’T want to do…and don’t do what I know I should do?” (Romans 7:15). We all have different degrees of struggle in life, but in the end, we are all in need of God’s grace. I think I speak for most pastors when I say that we’d appreciate grace from you as well.

Worship Jesus—support your pastor.

Remember, your pastor is imperfect. So, he or she only deserves our support, loyalty, prayer and encouragement, but never our worship. Our worship is reserved for the only one who is perfect. It’s been said that we often put people up on pedestals and then resent that they are higher than us. So, instead of doing that, try to love pastors on the same level you love everyone else. I was told years ago, “Be careful of those who idolize you because soon they will demonize you.” So true. I’ve had people I baptized tell me I saved their lives, then a year later leave the church because I was not meeting their expectations of perfection.

There is no such thing as a perfect pastor, just as there is no such thing as a perfect church. When we expect either one it can become a dangerous thing as if the church doesn’t need to be perfect because they expect their pastor to be perfect for them. That’s a recipe for disaster for both parties. However, if the church is aware that both are imperfect, everyone can learn from the failures and address them together.

Go to God on behalf of your pastor—rather than your pastor on behalf of God.

Many great church members will go to their pastor with what they think God is telling them to communicate. Often it’s a personal preference for sermon material, church programs or the volume in the auditorium.

Can I offer this suggestion? Go to God on behalf of your pastor, rather than vice versa. James says, “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers and sisters. Whoever speaks evil against another or judges another, speaks evil against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. So who, then, are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:11-12). In other words, we often take our problems and differences out on people rather than taking them up with God first, thus putting ourselves in the position of God. Of course, if you see something immoral, you’ve been called by God to hold one another accountable, but you should approach them one on one (see Matthew 18:15). Not one on Facebook, not one on the group at Starbucks, but actually one on one. This goes for pastors, too.

As for the rest of it, talk to God. God put your pastor there, and he’ll remove or correct them when it’s time. And who knows, God might be using your pastor despite their imperfections.

So, as a pastor, let me say that I’m a sinner in need of God’s grace. I let people down all the time (the list is long yet distinguished). But, I am so grateful I get to serve God with such a fantastic group of people around me who let me be me and walk with me along the way. This is truly what it means to be better together and to live within community. Too often, pastors are excluded from the very community they are trying to lead just because of their position. It should be the other way around, but it requires grace from both the stage and the chairs facing it.

The original article appeared here.

8 Hacks for Managing a Roomful of Teenagers

By

Ashley Bohinc

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July 4, 2018

Pop quiz for all you student pastors out there!

Have you ever stood in front of a roomful of teenagers and felt like you had absolutely no control over what was happening in the room?
Have you ever attempted to teach a lesson and walked off stage wondering if the students even heard and processed anything you said?
Have you ever tried to engage your student audience in your lesson, but lost complete control of the room in the process?
Have you ever just wanted to give up (or at least shout a few curse words on your way home)?

If your answer is “Yes” to any or all of these questions, you’re in the right place.

Because I’ve felt that way, too. We all have!

And if we’ve all been there, that means this conversation matters for every single one of us. Corralling teenagers can be exhausting, frustrating and even a little bit exhilarating at times. Honestly, managing a roomful of teenagers is an art. But when you learn to do it well, you’re opening the door to communicating the truth of Scripture clearer and louder than before, cultivating an environment where teenagers want to listen. So to help you master the art of wrangling your students, here are eight hacks I’ve learned along the way:

1. Work the room. Rather than standing in one place, moving around while you teach can actually work in your favor, especially when you’re speaking to a room that has those two (or eight, or 10, or 20) distracting students in the audience. Moving toward a certain direction of the stage or room, or walking directly at the student who is talking, while continuing to teach can be an easy and effective way to minimize talking from people in the audience and re-engage those distracted students. This can also help eliminate the need to say things like, “Please stop talking,” “Listen up,” or “Would you please SHUT UP?!” (Hint: I don’t recommend using that last one from stage.)

2. Change it up. Change the pace at which you’re talking, adjust your tone or vary your volume. When you change the way you speak, students take notice. And if that doesn’t work, just start screaming! That’s sure to catch some attention, right?

3. Encourage talking. Plan opportunities throughout your lesson for students to interact both with each other and with you as the communicator. For example, say something like, “Turn to the person next to you and tell them…” or, “Raise your hand if you’ve ever…” or, “On the count of three I want you to scream…” If there are planned times that allow them to talk and interact, students will be less likely to do so while you’re talking.

4. Be creative. Incorporate an interactive component, demonstration or activity into your talk. Have students volunteer to be part of it and invite them on stage to participate. When teenagers see their peers participating in what’s happening up front or on stage, they naturally shift their attention in that direction.

5. Use your leaders. Have your adult leaders sit with their students in the audience. Most often, volunteer leaders choose to sit in the back of the room, but it’s more beneficial to you as the communicator to have them dispersed throughout the room to address any behavioral issues they see. That saves you the trouble of trying to do so from stage.

6. Keep rules and consequences minimal. Remember, more rules and more severe consequences do not equate to better behavior. In fact, it does the opposite! An environment that’s rule-heavy creates an atmosphere of rebellion. Teenagers want freedom. Try to give them a little more freedom than you’re comfortable with. When you do, they might just give you more attention than they’re comfortable with.

7. Rehearse transitions. Most disruptions occur between segments of a program, transitions in a lesson or right as you’re wrapping up. Try to avoid creating extra space for distraction by rehearsing those moments prior to your student gathering.

8. Consistent cues. A cue is a thing said or done that signals to teenagers that something’s about to begin or a transition is about to happen. A countdown video means you’re going to start programming. A familiar greeting students participate in signals that the hosts are going to start the game. A bumper video can cue that you’re starting your lesson. Walk out music will indicate that it’s time for students to head to small group.

There you go! It’s not a complete list, but these eight hacks have really made a difference for me.

It’s important to keep in mind that what works for someone else may not work for your personality and communication style or for your physical space and student group.

But in order to figure that out, you will need to experiment.

And fail.

A lot.

Eventually you’ll stumble upon something that works for your context.

You will master it.

And then you’ll be able to dance with the distractions in the room flawlessly.

So wherever you are this week, start by picking one of these eight hacks to focus on and improve. Just one. Then, let me know how it worked for you!

The original article appeared here.

Dealing With the Pain of Betrayal in Kid’s Ministry

By

Brandon Horst

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July 4, 2018

Before I get into this post, I realize I’ve only been in ministry for a little over three years.

So I’m certainly no expert in dealing with betrayal; I don’t have the life/ministry experience behind me to speak from great depth.

But there have been two particular circumstances in which volunteers I put a lot of trust, faith and friendship into walked out the door.

Through that, I talked with personal mentors and spiritual fathers to help me process and move forward, and they certainly do have the decades of ministry behind them to speak from great depth.

Here is what they said that helped me most.

“Pray through it.”

I know this is the obvious thing to say and everyone says it, but that’s because it should always be first on the list, so don’t just gloss over this.

Cast your cares on God.

Ask God to help you not have seeds of bitterness.

Pray for peace.

Pray for God to help you not project onto others and lose trust in people who don’t deserve it.

Just pray.

“Keep (always) erring on the side of too much trust.”

No matter how many times this comes back to bite you, lead with trust.

Lack of trust leads to isolation and trying to do everything alone.

Isolation will lead to loneliness.

And doing everything yourself will lead to burnout.

In the end, you’ll regret distrusting people much more than trusting people.

“Don’t internalize; talk about it.”

Don’t try to deal with feelings of betrayal alone; process it with people you trust and are mature enough to handle it.

Note: Those who aren’t mature enough will end up taking on your offense with the other person, instead of helping you work through it in a healthy way.

For me, the most helpful people to talk with are mentors and friends who aren’t connected to my church at all because they’ll have the most objectivity, and I can speak freely without worrying about word getting back to the wrong people.

“Don’t burn bridges.”

When you’ve built a relationship with someone and trusted them with important ministry leadership, and they just walk away, it’s natural for you to be hurt.

But don’t operate out of that hurt in a way that will hurt the other person back.

Instead, extend grace to them, no matter how difficult.

Let them know you still care about them and that there’s always a way forward.

Of course, you still need to be responsible.

If they come back, welcome them like the father in the parable of The Prodigal Son.

But also realize there needs to be a process for being restored; they can’t simply walk back into what they were doing before.

“Realize it’s (probably) not your fault, but you can still learn from it.”

Unless MOST of your volunteers are CONSISTENTLY walking away, the issue is probably not with you.

I check myself by asking this question: “Have I ever treated this person in an ungodly way on purpose? Did I ever treat them in an ungodly way by accident? If so, did I apologize?”

I’ll also ask a one or two (trustworthy) people around me this question to make sure I’m not lacking self-awareness.

If the answers are “No,” “Yes/No,” and “Yes;” then I’m not going to blame myself, even if the person leaving tries to put it on me.

That’s not to say I won’t try to learn from each experience.

I’ll explore things like:

How could I have been more sensitive to the early warning signs?

How can I create more opportunities and spaces for those I lead to be honest if they’re feeling burnt out or going through something difficult in the future?

How can I best support this person in spite of my feelings of hurt?

To reiterate, this isn’t my advice; it’s advice I’ve gotten from wise men with decades of experience.

And it’s what has really helped me walk through the couple times I’ve felt really betrayed!

This article originally appeared here.

3 Ways to Spot ‘Christian Backstabbing’

By

Eric Geiger

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July 4, 2018

Can you spot “Christian backstabbing”?

Jesus said that the world would know that we are His disciples by the love we have for one another. According to the Scriptures, if we don’t love one another, we cannot claim to love God.

Good news: Historically Christians have been known and marked for their love for one another. For example, Aristides, a second-century Greek philosopher, observed how Christians in the early church cared for one another, “If they hear of any of their number who are imprisoned or oppressed for the name of the Messiah, they all provide for his needs, and if it is possible to redeem him, they set him free.”

Bad news: We struggle to live out our faith, and professing Christians can fail to love one another well. People who have been around the Christian faith a long time can even learn how to backstab each other in a way that appears Christian. Of course, it is not. It is deceitful and disingenuous.

‘Christian Backstabbing’

Manipulative people familiar with the Christian faith can actually use Christian language to embolden their backstabbing. They can call someone friend and brother while manipulating and dividing. They can disguise their sinful behavior with the language of the people of God. It is pretty nauseating when you think on it. Backstabbing among the people of God is a deep violation of our faith and a horrible representation of our faith to the world.

With that in mind, here are three ways you can spot “Christian backstabbing” (I put “Christian backstabbing” in quotes because there is nothing Christian about it):

1. Backstabbers frame gossip as prayer requests.

A common technique is to frame gossip as “simply sharing a prayer request so you can pray specifically.” Those who employ this technique simply open their gossip session this way and then feel free to share anything they want. If someone does a lot of talking and very little praying, you have spotted a backstabber.

2. Backstabbers talk about the person rather than to the person.

Another common technique is to “ask for wisdom” from someone about someone else. The best “Christian backstabbers” don’t only “ask for wisdom” from one person, they methodically bounce around to many people to build alliances or tear someone down. This completely disregards Jesus’ teaching about resolving conflict. Jesus told us to go directly to the person before escalating to other people and to even leave our offering at the altar to go make things right with another believer. If you are listening to a list of complaints about someone and interrupt to ask, “Have you talked to him/her?” and the answer is, “No,” then you have spotted a backstabber.

3. Backstabbers know lots of information on lots of people.

“Lots of people come to me because I am there for them and they trust me.” Sounds like a very Christian thing to say, right? But the person who continually hears gossip from others is likely the person who sends the signal that he/she wants to hear it. Backstabbers excel at having info on everyone else so they can leverage it at times that suit them. For this reason, it must be exhausting and tiring to be a backstabber.

Someone who gossips about and backstabs another person is likely to do the same to you.

This article originally appeared here.

An Appeal to Rightly Apply 2 Chronicles 7:14

By

Steve Gaines

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July 4, 2018

As we approach July 4th, many pastors preach about Christians in America repenting of sin and turning back to the Lord so that He will bless His churches. One text they often use is 2 Chronicles 7:14 (NASB):

“[If] My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

An Appeal to Rightly Apply 2 Chronicles 7:14 that an appropriate application of this text?

To be clear, these are God’s words spoken to Solomon, King of Israel. Likewise, the “land” referred to was the land of Israel. When the Israelites sinned against the Lord, He would send the plagues mentioned in verse 13. But if they responded by humbling themselves, praying, seeking God’s face and turning from their wicked ways, God would hear from heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land.

Can Christians in America find any appropriate application from this text?

The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16 (NASB), rightly interpreted.

Likewise, when the apostle Paul cited Old Testament examples of rebellion in Israel’s history that prompted God’s punishment, he noted that they also served as warnings for Christians living under the new covenant. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:11-12 (NASB), “Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.”

Is America Israel? No. Is God an American? No. But can warnings and promises to God’s people in the Old Testament be applied to Christians today? Absolutely.

Regarding 2 Chronicles 7:14, it is very appropriate for any Christian to obey the spirit of this text by endeavoring to humble himself or herself, pray, seek God’s face and turn from wicked ways, trusting that God will hear, forgive and heal.

The apostle Peter, speaking to a group of first-century Christians, said this: “For you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God” (1 Peter 2:10 NASB. How suitable for all Christians in America, and in any other nation, to humble ourselves, pray, seek the Lord’s face and turn from our wicked ways, asking Him to graciously hear from heaven, forgive our sin and bring spiritual healing to the ailing, impotent churches in our land.

In 2 Chronicles 7:14, we note three precepts that are consistently called for by God throughout Scripture: humility, hunger and holiness.

The first requirement for such spiritual healing is humility). God will share His glory with no one because God alone can handle His glory. Every redeemed human being should give all glory to Jesus for salvation and every benefit it brings.

Frankly, modern Christianity is marked by far too much arrogance and condescension. For instance, all of us need to use great caution and wise deliberation when posting on social media. The Bible says, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29 NASB). The word “unwholesome” is the Greek word sapros, meaning “rotten.” Here it refers to speech that is likened to “garbage” or “trash.” Frankly, there is too much “trash-talk” on social media. Humility is always becoming in any child of God.

The second requirement for spiritual healing is hunger. We see it in 2 Chronicles 7:14).

The final requirement for spiritual healing is holiness. “[If] My people who are called by My name…turn from their wicked ways.” Holiness comes by means of repenting from sin. Repentance means to confess our sins and turn away from them. That leads to true holiness.

These three emphases from 2 Chronicles 7:14 was not written to Americans does not mean that Christians in America cannot benefit from its admonitions by obeying its precepts. Again, “all Scripture is profitable.” The warnings in the Old Testament “were written for our instruction.”

Many Christians in America are praying for a fresh spiritual awakening and revival among those of us who know Jesus Christ. I for one am praying for American Christians to embrace genuine humility, hunger and holiness. I am also praying that the Lord will graciously see fit to hear from heaven, forgive our sin, and send His much-needed healing.

When I think of it that way, I don’t know of a verse in the Bible that serves as a better guide for praying for revival than 2 Chronicles 7:14.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Steve Gaines is president of the Southern Baptist Convention and pastor of Memphis-area Bellevue Baptist Church.

This article originally appeared here.

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