3 Ways Pastors Can Provide Better Counseling

May 23, 2018

Divorce. Depression. Death. Addiction. Just four of the many heartbreaking challenges of life in a fallen and broken world. While every pastor knows you’ll be confronted with these difficulties, that’s not the same as being prepared to help people through them when they happen. As a ministry leader, people will come to you with a myriad of issues and struggles. Here are a few ways you can provide counsel and direction to the people you encounter.

1. Know When to Refer

As a pastor, you aren’t necessarily a professional counselor, unless you have the qualifications. If you don’t have those qualifications, it is important to make that clear to the people who come to you for help. Do your research and always have a good list of licensed and professional counselors to refer people to. Don’t let pride or thinking you know better get in the way. Know when to refer.

2. Know as Much as You Can

Get more counseling education. You at least need to know the basics of how to react to whatever situation walks into your office. It’s important to know what you don’t know and learn as much as you can. Keep learning. Stay current on the issues of the day, issues that people you serve are struggling with.

3. Utilize the Support System in Your Church

You are not the only minister in your church, even if you are the only person on staff. Every person who belongs to God is a minister. Don’t attempt to do all the ministry yourself. Utilize others to provide care to those who need it. Utilize your groups to help people build relationships with other people who can listen and offer encouragement through the challenges of life.

This article originally appeared here.

What Partnering With Parents Looks Like

Sam Luce

May 23, 2018

I remember when I first heard the term “partnering with parents.” It was at a family ministry conference in 2009. It was revolutionary for me as I saw parents as what the Scripture had always described them as. Parents are the primary means God uses in the life of a child to come to an understanding of the gospel in the context of relationship. Jump forward several years, and I am still personally wrestling with what does that look like for me as a dad and for the church I serve? It was just two weeks ago I had this conversation with several other kids pastors and we were discussing how to make this commonly shared understanding a reality. The fact we could have that conversation about how to practically partner with parents only happened because we all assume it’s necessary.

Rather than me telling you partnering with parents is necessary, because I assume that we both agree it is, let me ask you a question.

What does partnering with parents mean to you? In your church, what do you do to leverage the influence parents have in the lives of their kids?

For me partnering with parents used to mean tools and information. Today it means discipleship. The longer I serve in the same church, and the more I follow Christ, what I become aware of more keenly is my need to follow and to lead others to do the same. To partner with parents isn’t about programs and tools, although it uses those means from time to time. To help parents spiritually lead their kids and families, parents need to be disciples and know how to make disciples. We can lower the bar and hope for any sign of life. We must challenge parents to follow Jesus so they will be willing and able to lead their kids into a relationship with Christ. As kids and youth pastors, we need to take a collective step backward and figure out how we can equip, disciple and train parents so they understand and can use the tools we are so eager to hand out.

What does that mean for us?

Model – I don’t think handouts are enough (this isn’t a hate on handouts). I don’t think apps are enough. We have to model in person to parents what Christian discipleship looks like. This is done through conversations after church, phone calls, personal home visits, coffee and dinner. You can’t model though means; you have to model through life.
Equip – I am becoming more and more convinced that you can’t equip parents by only giving them answers and tools. You have to give them the answers to the questions they are asking when they are ready to hear an answer. There is no program or easy way to do this. It requires you knowing your church, knowing your families and knowing your God. At Redeemer when kids have questions about God I often point their parents to age appropriate systematic theology books, so parents learn with their kids and to reinforce the home over the expert. We are also working on a series of resources based on questions parents are asking and not just answers we feel parents need to know. Equipment is listening as much as or more than you talk.
Repeat – Discipleship is not a class, event or moment in time. It is as Eugene Peterson says a “long walk in the same direction.” Once you have done this with a family do it with another, then another. Keep walking, Pastor. Keep walking with your families in the same direction for years and decades, not just months and weeks.

That’s what we are striving to do at Redeemer. I pray that you join me in partnering with parents by disciplining parents. What every kid needs are more people in their life intentionally pointing them to Christ. What every parent needs is someone showing them what that looks like.

So let me ask you again. What does partnering with parents mean to you?

This article originally appeared here.

Autopsy of a Deceased Church Outreach Ministry

Thom Rainer

May 23, 2018

His statement shocked me.

To be certain, I knew the anecdotal evidence was not good, but his words surprised me beyond my worst expectations. He had ministry responsibility for calling on nearly 250 churches. He knew most of them well. His comments still ring in my mind: “Almost none of the 250 churches I serve have an ongoing outreach ministry in the communities they are supposed to serve. A few of them think they do, but they are really just following up with guests who visit.”

Wow. No ongoing intentional outreach. At best follow up of guests.

And we wonder why our churches are struggling. We aren’t reaching people because, well, we aren’t trying to reach people.

What has happened? How can we explain the death of ongoing outreach by our churches? I’ve worked with thousands of churches, so I have a few ideas.

We became so enamored with the worship service as the front door, we concluded that it was our outreach. But cool and dynamic worship services are not outreach into our communities. They are attractions to attend.
We don’t know how to get into our communities. I agree that cold-call visitation is difficult. But if you have killed that in your church, with what did you replace it? What is your church doing every week to connect with people in the community?
We rejected programs because we think programs aren’t cool or relevant. Let me give you a clear example. Vacation Bible School is the number one evangelistic tool in America. But many churches have given up on VBS because it’s a program, or because it’s traditional, or because it’s not cool. By the way, it’s not too late to change your mind about a summer Vacation Bible School. Check it out: https://www.lifeway.com/en/shop/vacation-bible-school
We call everything outreach and evangelism. If everything is outreach and evangelism, nothing is outreach and evangelism.
We’ve become so busy doing good things in our church that we neglect the best. True story. The most hours of “ministry” in one church I know is the flower ministry. OK, if you are working in a flower ministry, that’s fine. But if that’s the number one ministry of the church, it’s not fine. And flowers in the worship center make me sneeze.
We decided to do away with intentional outreach because of a lack of participation by members. I almost did exactly that very thing in a church I served because we only had an average of 12 people per week doing any kind of outreach in the community. Then I did the math. Those 12 typically had three types of meaningful outreach contacts a week. That’s a total of 36 contacts a week and 1,872 a year. That’s big.
We have become so comfortable and complacent with the way we do church that we don’t want any outsiders to mess it up. In other words, we will fight for the precise worship style or carpet color we want, but we will yawn at the thought of our neighbors going to hell.

I am performing several autopsies of deceased outreach ministries in churches. Soon I will be performing autopsies on those same churches themselves.

Reach out into your community and live. Or neglect it and die.

It’s really that simple.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Do Outreach Like Jesus

Matt Brown

May 23, 2018

The ultimate goal of every Christian is to look like Jesus. What I mean by “look like Jesus” is not in physical appearance, but to follow Jesus in both the big and small areas of their lives, in order to be the blessing that He was on earth, and to receive the blessings of obedience to and pursuit of God.

This is what we all want, but so few of us feel we are progressing at the pace we’d prefer.

One the biggest challenges in striving to look like Jesus is starting with the wrong picture of what it means to look like Jesus.

For many years, I personally thought that being “radical” for God meant being really intense with myself and others, praying for exhausting amounts of time, sacrificing as much as possible simply for the sake of denying myself as much as possible, and other self-inflicting practices that would ultimately lead to looking more like Jesus. To me, back then, “zeal” was the epitomy of what it meant to look like Jesus.

I thought this because of role models I held in Bible college, many of whom I now see were clearly poor examples of Christlikeness. I remember reading passages in the Bible back then about the importance of a Christian having compassion, love, kindness, and scratching my head wondering why I was not seeing these in my role models or myself. It was starting to dawn on me that God had a different picture of Himself than I had of Him.

Larry Osborne in Sticky Teams shares a similar sentiment: “Spiritual maturity is a life that consistently exhibits the character of Jesus Christ. This means character—not giftedness, not biblical knowledge, not zeal. And that shouldn’t surprise us, since some of the most divisive and self-centered people in our churches are those who are highly gifted, know the Bible inside and out, and exhibit a zeal that puts the rest of us to shame. They just happen to also be jerks.”

I can’t stop thinking about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 lately. God has given us a clear filter of what it means to look like Jesus in all areas of our lives: in our thoughts, actions, words and relationships.

Is what we are saying or doing filled with a whole lot of love, whole lot of joy, whole lot of peace, whole lot of patience, whole lot of kindness, whole lot of gentleness? If not, it’s probably not of the Spirit. Scripture tells us that “when the Holy Spirit controls our lives,” we will show these things in increasing measure.

The fruit of the Spirit in your own life is what helps you be fruitful in the world.

God didn’t just give us this clear picture of what it means for us to look like His Son, and empower us by His Spirit to do so, so that we would be a bland personality in the world. The fruits of the Spirit are not simple cardboard cutouts that we learned about in Sunday School, but powerful life traits that have the ability to transform every aspect of our lives and relationships, and give us success wherever we go.

These are the aspects of Jesus that we need to hold up as a standard for our own life. These are the characteristics that we need to rejoice in when we see them in our gospel-centered communities and role models. As we allow the Lord to transform our hearts, we pray that we will grow in these traits and see them more and more active in how we act and react to those on our daily path.

A Word About Criticism From Anonymous Sources

Denny Burk

May 23, 2018

Over the weekend, Ivan Mesa posted a quotation from Charles Spurgeon that seems particularly apt in our social media age:

Charles Spurgeon: “Never write what you dare not sign. An anonymous letter-writer is a sort of assassin, who wears a mask, and stabs in the dark. Such a man is a fiend with a pen. If discovered, the wretch will be steeped in the blackest infamy.”

Truer in the social media age.

— Ivan Mesa (@IvanTable) May 12, 2018

Truer words have never been spoken. I can remember as a young man hearing my pastor talk about what he does with anonymous letters. He ignores them. And now I get it. They are acts of cowardice written by someone who doesn’t wish to be accountable for his own criticism (and such letters typically are critical). Such communiques are not written from love but from self-preservation. Their anonymity seems to be a mark against the character of the sender. How can they be trusted? Indeed, they are contemptible.

And of course in our social media age, opportunities for anonymous criticism abound. Anonymous blogs and twitter accounts are like drive-by bludgeons, mass-producing invective and criticism. They can be an assembly line of asinine, unaccountable commentary and critique. As Solomon warns, they exemplify the “one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword” (Prov. 12:18).

This is not to say that we can’t benefit from criticism. We can, and we do. But the biblical way of criticism is open and constructive, not hidden and with ulterior motives. The Psalmist writes,

“Let a righteous man strike me– it is a kindness; let him rebuke me– it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it.” –Psalm 141:5

The way of wisdom embraces critique, especially from trustworthy sources. If you know the character of the one giving the critique—if you know that they love you—you can trust that they are not speaking out of subversive ulterior motives. You can learn, and you can grow. You cannot have that kind of confidence in anonymous critique. An anonymous critique may possibly have some truth in it, but its shadowy source requires that it be viewed with wise skepticism.

The Proverbs put it this way”

⁵ Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
⁶ Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
–Proverbs 27:5-6

What kind of “rebuke” is to be desired? The kind that is open—face to face, heart to heart. In fact, such reproof can be an expression of love. It’s better to share such correctives than to hide them. Hard words are “faithful” precisely because they are coming from a “friend”—someone you know and whose character you trust, someone that you have confidence is without nefarious, unseen motives. You can rely on them to tell you what you need to hear, not flatter you with what you want to hear.

Anonymous critiques are shorn of this biblical wisdom, and they invite skepticism and contempt. Don’t give anonymous critiques. Stand by your words. If you can’t stand by them, then you have no business speaking or writing them. Learn from your critics—even those with bad motives. But be appropriately skeptical. Your bad-faith critics must be judiciously weighed, and they may miss as often as they hit.

As for your anonymous critics, Spurgeon is right. They are a “sort of assassin, who wears a mask, and stabs in the dark. Such a man is a fiend with a pen. If discovered, the wretch will be steeped in the blackest infamy.” Hold them in due regard.

————————

N.B. Ivan Mesa’s quotation of Spurgeon sent me on a search for its source. That search led me to a happy discovery of a work by Spurgeon of which I was previously unaware, The Salt-Cellars: Being a Collection of Proverbs Together with Homely Notes Thereon. It’s a two-volume collection of proverbs that Spurgeon amassed over decades of writing. Spurgeon explains that he loves these types of sayings because they are “salty.” He explains that oftentimes “A line may strike where a discourse may miss” (1:vii).

The sayings are not biblical proverbs but common English aphorisms. Under each proverb, Spurgeon offers a brief commentary on their meaning. It really is a treasure-trove of wisdom. The quotation that Ivan Mesa shared is actually an aphorism followed by Spurgeon’s short commentary. Here’s how it appears in the book:

In his commentary on these proverbs, Spurgeon also tries to show how they correspond with good biblical sense. In other words, he regularly makes biblical applications out of these sayings. Spurgeon explains, “I have therefore placed, not only moral precepts, but gospel instructions in the midst of these common maxims. Thus has the salt itself been salted” (1:vii).

Indeed it has. Take up and read!

C. H. Spurgeon, The Salt-Cellars: Being a Collection of Proverbs Together with Homely Notes Thereon, 2 vols. (London: Passmore and Alabaster, Paternoster Buildings, 1889).

It’s also available for free from Google Books: Volume 1, Volume 2.

This article originally appeared here.

Why You Must Replant Your Church in January 2019 (And How to Do It)

Brian Jones

May 23, 2018

Years ago, the brilliant church analyst Lyle Schaller noted,

“Dozens of surveys have demonstrated that rapidly growing congregations tend to be churches with long pastorates, and stable or declining congregations tend to have short pastorates.”

I absolutely believe that.

The same argument could be made for other staff positions.

In other words, the longer you stay at the church you serve, the better chance it has to (1) grow numerically year after year and (2) deepen its impact in the community .

Why?

You and I both know it takes years to dig a deep evangelistic foundation:

Years to get to know community influencers.
Years to initiate and develop building project plans.
Years to get good at the craft of preaching.
Years to learn how to lead a staff well.
And years to figure out who you are as a leader and put together a “system” to lead from your strengths.

What’s rarely noted, however, is that staying in one church for more than five to 30 years—while essential for long-term growth—also brings a unique set of challenges that can actually curtail growth if we’re not aware of two hidden dynamics.

Hidden Dynamics Affecting Attendance:

1. A mindset that assumes our “church” from 60 months ago still exists.

The first hidden dynamic is something that exists solely in our minds.

It’s how we view our churches.

We have a memory bank FULL of people/issues/battles/successes/lessons from years past. But NOBODY who has become a part of our church community recently has ANY of these memories.

I have a friend who got involved in our church four years ago and is completely sold out to our mission. When we have conversations about why we do what we do I find myself continually filling him in on what transpired the 14 years he wasn’t here.

He, on the other hand, continually reminds me that that church no longer exists and the dynamics that led to where we are today shouldn’t play such a large role in future decision making.

He’s right.

“You never step into the same river twice” is just as true for church world as it is for the natural one.

The problem is this is a difficult mental shift to continually make yourself aware of, and even harder to change.

2. The “20 Percent Churn Rate” factor.

The second hidden dynamic has nothing to do with you whatsoever. It’s going to happen at your church whether you’re the pastor or not.

And that’s the “churn rate” that’s devastating your church’s growth right now.

“Churn rate” refers to the percentage of people who turnover at your church each year because they’ve died, moved or flaked out over some issue.

Here’s a question I want you to ask yourself: What percentage of your people are leaving your church year after year?

Many Senior Pastors I coach are surprised to discover that across the board nationally, the “churn rate” for outreach-focused churches like ours hovers right at 20 percent each year.

The practical implications of this are staggering.

If we do nothing for the next five years, our churches will all but disappear. We’ll be out of business. Twenty percent of our people will leave year after year until we have virtually nothing left.

There’s good news and bad news about “churn rate.”

The good news is those of you who are staying “even” in attendance, or experiencing a slight decline, you are ACTUALLY growing and reaching people. If you grew by 15 percent last year, but had a 20 percent churn rate, you will have technically “grown” but still dropped 5 percent compared to last year.

That’s the good news. Sort of.

The bad news is obvious: to grow by 10 percent in 2019 you will actually need to grow by 30 percent (30 percent – 20 percent churn rate = 10 percent net growth).

I can personally tell you that that kind of growth simply will not happen by accident or with minimal effort and planning.

To experience 10 percent net attendance growth a year we must replant the churches we lead every single year.

I used to tell Senior Pastors that I coach that they had to completely replant their congregation every five years.

I no longer believe that.

The churn rate is too pervasive, rapid, and devastating.

To create impact, we must strike fast and often.

Here’s how…

SBC Splits With D.C. Convention Over Lesbian Pastors

Bob Ditmer

May 23, 2018

Lesbian pastors — Screengrab YouTube @Keep the Faith Ministry

What began as a message of unity more than a century ago has ended.

The Southern Baptist Convention has now officially severed its ties with the District of Columbia Baptist Convention after the latter refused to remove a married lesbian couple as co-pastors from a church in the nation’s capital.

More than a century ago, the D.C. Convention entered into a dual affiliation with Southern Baptists and the American Baptist Churches USA, intended as a unity message in the nation’s capital.

The symbolism expanded to a triple alignment in 1997, when the D.C. convention voted to align with the predominantly black Progressive National Baptist Convention, and later to quadruple when D.C. Baptists joined the Baptist World Alliance.

The experiment failed over the question, “What do you believe?”

Calvary Baptist Church in Washington, D.C., voted in favor of installing lesbian couple Maria Swearingen and Sally Sarratt as co-pastors in January 2017, which sparked the controversy.

In February, the Executive Committee of the SBC gave the DCBC 90 days to “secure” the “removal of any churches from its fellowship that have demonstrated a faith or practice affirming, approving or endorsing homosexual behavior.” It did not.

The split signals the end of that grace period.

The separation was anticipated. Robert Cochran, executive director of the D.C. convention, sent a letter this week to Interim SBC Executive Committee President D. August Boto “indicating that the DCBC has not taken action the Executive Committee hoped it would when it issued its Feb. 20 decision. In a statement, Boto said, “In his letter, Cochran divulged that he anticipated an end to our relationship.”

The SBC’s constitution calls for exclusion of churches that “act to affirm, approve or endorse homosexual behavior.” American Baptist Churches USA is on record as declaring “the practice of homosexuality” incompatible with Christian teaching but recognizing “a variety of understandings” on the topic across the denomination.

Calvary Baptist Church, a 155-year-old congregation founded by abolitionists, severed ties with the SBC in 2012. After the church hired Maria Swearingen and Sally Sarratt in 2017, the SBC said the D.C. convention tacitly approved the calling of married lesbian co-pastors by a member church.

Cochran said the District of Columbia Baptist Convention “has not affirmed, approved or endorsed homosexual behavior in any way at any time” and “respects the official statements” on homosexuality by both American and Southern Baptists even though it has not acted to remove the lesbian pastors at Calvary Baptist.

The final severing of ties disqualifies the D.C. Convention from receiving and disbursing funds through the Cooperative Program, a unified spending plan in place since 1925 that allows churches to contribute to both the national SBC and their respective affiliated state convention.

Boto said he will soon be sending letters to churches in Washington, D.C., that are supported by SBC finances directed through the DCBC to let them know that the latter is no longer recognized as a “Baptist body authorized to receive and disburse Cooperative Program and other SBC contributions.”

However, in his statement, he indicated that the Executive Committee has a “willingness to consider resuming its relationship with the DCBC in the future” if Calvary “repents of its actions,” or if the church is removed from the DCBC.

Paige Patterson Out as Head of SWBTS

Bob Ditmer

May 23, 2018

Following a 13-hour meeting, Dr. Paige Patterson has been removed as president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

He is being replaced by Dr. D. Jeffrey Bingham, Dean of the School of Theology, to the position of interim president, pending his acceptance.

A statement from the SWBTS Board of Trustees listed no specific reason for the removal other than a desire “to move in the direction of new leadership for the benefit of the future mission of the seminary.”

But the primary reason has been in the headlines for weeks with several side issues also contributing to the removal of a man described as an icon in the Southern Baptist Convention.

Allegations of ‘unbiblical view of authority’ led to removal of Paige Patterson

That primary reason is allegations that he once counseled women who suffered marital abuse to pray for their husbands. The Washington Post on Tuesday also reported an incident in which Patterson allegedly told a woman who said she had been raped to forgive her assailant rather than report the incident to police.

Following the initial allegations, more than 2,000 Southern Baptist women signed a public letter to SBC leaders warning them not to allow “the biblical view of leadership to be misused in such a way that a leader with an unbiblical view of authority, womanhood and sexuality be allowed to continue in leadership.”

Days after the letter, Patterson issued “An Apology to God’s People” saying he was sorry “to every woman who has been wounded by anything I have said that was inappropriate or that lacked clarity.”

“We live in a world of hurt and sorrow, and the last thing that I need to do is add to anyone’s heartache,” Patterson said in the statement. “Please forgive the failure to be as thoughtful and careful in my extemporaneous expression as I should have been.”

Many high profile leaders in the SBC delicately reacted to Patterson’s removal on Twitter without referring to him by name.

J.D. Greear, who is running for SBC president, tweeted:

There can be no ambiguity about the church’s responsibility to protect the abused and be a safe place for the vulnerable. Abuse can never be tolerated, minimized, hidden, or “handled internally.” pic.twitter.com/o0K4nUGxb9

— J.D. Greear (@jdgreear) May 23, 2018

Russell Moore, head of the SBC’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, tweeted:

There are some things hard to figure out about how to follow Jesus, where we see through a glass darkly and sometimes aren’t sure what’s the right thing to do.

Protecting women and children from predators is not one of those things.

— Russell Moore (@drmoore) May 23, 2018

Malachi O’Brien, a former second vice president of the SBC, said those leaders tweeted their views but did not refer directly to Patterson out of “love and respect for Dr. Patterson” who is 75.

Decades-old grudges against Paige Patterson

He said the removal also highlights a generational shift in the SBC that has been brewing for years.

Pete Scazzero: Don’t Ignore Your Emotional Health

Bob Ditmer

May 23, 2018

Pete Scazzero is the founder of New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, New York City, a large, multiracial church with more than seventy-three countries represented. After serving as senior pastor for twenty-six years, Pete now serves as a teaching pastor/pastor at large. He is the author of The Emotionally Healthy Leader and two bestselling books: The Emotionally Healthy Church and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. He is also the co-author of The Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Course and The Emotionally Healthy Relationships Course.

Key Questions for Pete Scazzero:

How did your concern over emotional health begin?
Why does the church overlook leaders who are vulnerable?

[SUBSCRIBE] For more ChurchLeaders podcasts click here!

Key Quotes from Pete Scazzero:

“God met me in the middle of two year journey…I realized i was an emotional infant leading a church.”

“If you’re not a loving, approachable, soft, weak in a sense, vulnerable person…you’re not mature.”

“Once I opened up my inner life to Jesus….and acknowledged the mess I was in, it was like a liberation.”

“Jesus told us to reject popularity…we are to follow him. We should be popular with him.”

“What leadership is, is very high level discipleship.”

“Without solid discipleship the church isn’t going anywhere. It’s like a car without an engine. It looks good but it’s not going anywhere.”

“I know pastors and leaders who are not developing a deep personal relationship with Jesus.”

“The pharisees were good at loving God. They were terrible at loving others.”

“Very few Christians have been discipled on how to love one another.”

“Our discipleship has to include every aspect of who we are. So if you leave out emotional…it’s not a biblical theology.”

Links Mentioned by Pete Scazzero in the Show:

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Emotionally healthy relationships

Emotionally healthy leader

Pete Scazzero on ChurchLeaders:

Free eBook: “The Emotionally Healthy Church Planter,” by Pete Scazzero

Top 10 Symptoms of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality

5 Essential Things to Consider When Planning Communion

Josh Weidmann

May 22, 2018

5 ESSENTIAL THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN PLANNING COMMUNION

Communion services are one of the most important services we have the opportunity to lead our churches in on a regular basis. Communion should never be something that becomes so routine that it loses it impact, it should also be something that is done regularly and with great intentionality.

When planning a communion service, here are five things to keep in mind:

How we get there is important: The song choices and the preaching in a communion service need to compliment the Lord’s Supper. There may be time in an exegetical series where the passage does not directly apply to communion, but every message and passage should be able to be drawn back to the Gospel. That transition to or from the sermon must be thought through, so that the sermon doesn’t feel fragmented from the message of the Gospel that is proclaimed in communion. In the same way, the songs that are in the service leading up to communion must help the worship participants prepare their heart for the partaking of communion.

What is explained is important: The explanation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is important. We must be clear about what we are remembering and what the elements represent. A good soteriology will allow salvation to explained well without over-emphasizing the elements themselves or the actions of those partaking. The depravity of man, the sovereignty of God, the love of Christ, and His death AND resurrection must all be explained.

Who it is for should be explained: Communion is for those who have a good standing with Christ and His bride. It is also important that those taking communion have publicly proclaimed their faith through baptism. This should be explained from the front so that all those in attendance understand who is supposed to be partaking in the Lord’s Supper. It should also be clear if you are inviting all believers to part-take in communion with you, or if your church requests that the meal be taken only by though who call your church their home church.

The transitions to and from must be intentional: When planning a communion service, the transitions to and from the communion ordinances must be smooth and intentional. If we are rushing to the table or away from it, we may lose the importance of it for those who are partaking. There is a lot of pressure to get our services within 70 or 80 minutes—and we can still uphold this, but it may mean that something else is cut from the service on Communion Sunday so that there is adequate time for transition and reflection.

Provide time for reflection: There must be time and space in the communion service for people to repent and confess their sin to God. If communion is too rushed, it will not allow for proper reflection and the contrition of hearts before the Lord. At our church, we are intentional (now…we didn’t used to be) to make sure that people have adequate time to pray and reflect around the Lord’s Supper. This is not a drive-thru meal or a “Snack on the go.” Reflecting on the death and resurrection of Christ requires time. In our rushed society, let’s not rush this special chance to remember God’s grace on us and the forgiveness of our sins.

This article originally appeared here.

Why the Next Generation Is Building Their Own God

Dale Hudson

May 22, 2018

Last weekend, I was consulting with a church and after the service, we went to a pizza place, where you make your own pizza.

Everyone went down the “assembly line” and picked out the items they wanted on their pizza. Different kinds of sauces. Meat or no meat? What kind of meat? Different kinds of cheese. Lots of other choices when it came to toppings.

The end result? Everyone had their own personal, unique pizza that they had formed from their own tastes.

It’s a great idea when you’re making a pizza, but it’s not a great idea when it comes to a person’s view of God.

A recent report from Pew Research found that 80 percent of Americans say they believe in God. But…for many in that group…it’s a “god” they have formed using their own preferences. The “god’ they believe in is not the God of the Bible.

According to the report, only 56 percent believe in God as described in the Bible.

As the next generation grows up, there is a danger that they are being led down a path that says “God is whoever you want Him to be for you.”

You also see this in more and more people choosing what parts of the Bible they want to believe and not believe. For many, if the Bible does not line up with their lifestyle, rather than changing their lifestyle, they ignore or explain away that part of God’s Word.

The end result, we are teaching the next generation, by example, that they can go down the “God assembly line” and choose whatever they want His attributes and commandments to be. In other words, they can “build their own God.”

In the book The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers, sociologists Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton coined the phrase “moralistic therapeutic deism“ to describe how many kids view God.

Moralistic therapeutic deism says this…

1. A god exists who created and ordered the world and watches over human life on earth.

2. God wants people to be good, nice and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.

3. The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.

4. God does not need to be particularly involved in one’s life except when He is needed to resolve a problem.

5. Good people go to heaven when they die.

Kendy Kasey Dean, professor at Princeton, says we are raising kids to embrace this view of God, which portrays Him as a divine therapist whose chief goal is to boost our self-esteem. She says we are teaching the next generation that God simply wants us to feel good and do good.

From our view of God, comes our morality. Out of a watered-down, self-formed view of God has emerged a “new morality” that George Barna says can be summed up in these six statements…

1. The best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself.

2. People should not criticize another person’s life choices.

3. To be fulfilled in life, you should pursue the things you desire the most.

4. The highest goal in life is to enjoy it as much as possible.

5. People can believe whatever they want, as long as it doesn’t affect society.

6. Any kind of sexual expression between two consenting adults is acceptable.

The slippery slope of postmodernism has led us to this. Postmodernism says…

There is no absolute truth.

Truth is created in each person’s mind.

We must be tolerant and “non-judgmental.”

There is no fixed moral code. What is right for you is right for you and what is right for me is right for me.

Sound familiar?

This is the culture that the next generation is being raised in. It’s easy to see why it is leading them to “build their own god.” Down the assembly line they go. Don’t want God to bring judgment? Fine. Just leave that off. Want there to be many ways to heaven? Fine. Add that to your view of God. Don’t want God telling you to be part of a local church? No problem. Just leave that off. Only want a god of six commandments? That’s OK if it works for you. You get the point.

More than ever, we must teach kids a biblically based view of God. In a “make your own version of God” culture, we must help them see that our morality must come from God rather than making a god based on our own morals and lifestyle choices.

We must help the next generation understand that our view of God must be grounded in the scriptures and the scriptures alone.

The next generation is under tremendous pressure to forsake the God of the Bible and instead embrace a false god of their own making. It’s a replay of the children of Israel forming their own god out of a golden calf. Which God wasn’t very happy about, by the way.

May we take kids back to the true nature and attributes of God. When they see who God really is, they will have to make a choice. Surrender and worship Him with their lives or turn to a false god of their own making.

This article originally appeared here.

Separation of Church and State: A Baptist Perspective

Matthew Y. Emerson

May 22, 2018

Many early Baptists were heavily involved in political life, at both local and national levels. For them, political involvement was often a matter of survival—17th century British government, in both England and the American colonies, did not separate church and state.

Anyone who departed in belief or practice from England’s sanctioned state religion, the Anglican Church, was punished in some fashion. One of the first General (non-Calvinist) Baptists in England, Thomas Helwys, was imprisoned after he became a Baptist and wrote about his beliefs, including his conviction that the church and state should remain separate. Helwys was never released, and he died in jail four years after his imprisonment.

In the American colonies, Roger Williams, Obadiah Holmes and John Clarke also faced various punishments for departing from the state-sanctioned Congregationalism of the Bay Colony. While many of the American colonies were founded by Separatists—those who had departed from the Anglican Church due to its corruption and heavy-handedness regarding worship practices—once they received a charter from England’s king, they often did no better at providing religious liberty for their citizens.

Three emphases of early Baptists’ political theology

It was in this environment of state-sanctioned religious opposition that early Baptists developed a thorough political theology. The emphases of these early Baptists are biblically rooted, theologically sound and still relevant for us today. Here we’ll explore three of them—religious liberty, appropriate political involvement and the church as the sign of the kingdom.

1. Religious liberty

Early Baptists emphasized religious liberty as a matter of survival, yes, but they also drew on Baptist theological principles that remain important today. While most Baptists in 21st century America do not experience state-sponsored opposition to their faith, there are still important biblical, theological and distinctively Baptist reasons to support religious liberty for all.

Most importantly, religious liberty arises out of the Baptist conviction that every person is individually accountable before God. This conviction lies at the root of other Baptist distinctives like believer’s baptism, congregational polity and local church governance. With respect to religious liberty, it means that no one (including the state) can or should coerce a person to believe. Individuals are free to believe in or reject the gospel, and, if they are a Christian, to believe in or reject particular denominational distinctives.

Religious liberty for all does not mean that Baptists reject that salvation is through faith in Jesus Christ alone; far from it! Baptists in the 17th century and Southern Baptists today confess that salvation only comes through belief in Christ’s death and resurrection. But we also believe that each individual person has to come to a decision about that good news, and about subsequent doctrinal beliefs, on his or her own. In a Baptist political theology, then, the government cannot and should not force anyone to believe a certain way or to deny his or her convictions.

This Baptist principle also extends to practice. Early Baptists experienced opposition from the British government not only because they differed in belief from Anglicanism, but also because, like other English Separatists, they refused to participate in certain Anglican practices. For instance, early Baptists were imprisoned and fined for their refusal to use the Book of Common Prayer, and for licensing preachers outside of the Anglican authorities. This led early Baptists to insist that religious freedom encompasses not only what an individual believes but also what he or she practices. And, by extension, this includes freedom for churches and other religions comprised of those free individuals.

Today, this means that Baptists can argue for religious freedom for all religions without endorsing or supporting those other religions. Baptist political theology, because of its roots in an affirmation of the individual’s conscience, can be both a champion of religious liberty for all and a champion for personal evangelism to all.

UPDATE: Paige Patterson Named President Emeritus After Woman Claims He Silenced Her Disclosure of Rape

Megan Briggs

May 22, 2018

UPDATE May 23, 2018

The Baptist Press reported early this morning that a Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary board of trustees meeting that lasted until 3 a.m. local time in Fort Worth, Texas, came to a decision about whether or not to keep Paige Patterson on as president of the seminary. The board decided to name Patterson president emeritus, effective immediately. They have asked the dean of the school, Jeffrey Bingham, to step in as interim president. Additionally, the board determined “evidence exists” that Patterson complied with laws of reporting alleged sexual abuse.

More details of the board’s decision will be released today Baptist Press stated.

The Washington Post broke a story this afternoon about a former student at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, N.C. The student claims she was raped while at Seminary and told not to report the incident to police. Additionally, she was placed on probation. The alleged incident occurred while Paige Patterson was the president of SBTS.

The woman, who has not been identified at this point, decided to go to the Washington Post after thousands of people called for Patterson’s resignation amidst troubling comments he’s made in the past encouraging a woman to stay with her abusive husband, among others. According to the woman’s account to the Washington Post, the alleged incident occurred in 2003 as she was attending SBTS to pursue a master’s of divinity degree in women’s studies. The only personal information the article gives about the woman is that she did not finish her degree and she now works in public relations in North Carolina.

“I had bottled it up,” said the woman, speaking of the incident. “My husband didn’t know about it until last week. … I told him ‘I need to do something.’”

The woman claims she had been dating a fellow student at the seminary and invited him back to her apartment. She says as they were kissing, he forced himself on her. According to the WP, the next morning the woman took action to report the incident.

She said she reported it the next morning to the administrator who handled student discipline. That administrator then reported the incident to Patterson, she said, and she was required to meet with Patterson and three or four male seminarians she said were proteges of Patterson’s. She said she doesn’t remember the specific words Patterson used but that he wanted to know every detail of the rape.

Patterson and other administrators did not report the incident to the police, and she claims that Patterson encouraged her not to, as well, she said. The Post confirmed that a report was never filed with the Wake Forest Police Department.

The woman was then placed on a two-year probation, the reason for which she is not clear on. She speculates it might have been because she had a man in her apartment, which was against seminary policy. A former roommate of the alleged assailant also spoke to the WP. He confirmed the woman told him about the incident and the way she was treated by Patterson and the seminary’s leadership, shortly after it happened.

The former roommate, who also is not identified, in order to protect the identity of the woman, told WP “she wants people to know how Patterson is and how he thinks about women and abuse. For him to still be in power eats at her soul.”

The woman also shared a letter that was given to her by SBTS’s dean of students in 2003. In it, Alan Moseley states, “It is evident that your memories of moral lapses with [the alleged assailant’s name] cause you sadness and humiliation,” and told her she would be put on probation and potentially expelled if her subsequent behavior was deemed inappropriate by the school.

About three years ago, the woman claims, her assailant reached out to her on Facebook to ask for forgiveness. She gave it to him since that’s what we’re taught to do in the Bible. She was also allegedly told to do that from the leadership of SBTS at the time she disclosed the incident to them.

Last week the woman reached out to SBTS’s current president, Danny Akin, to obtain information about her assailant’s student file. Akin declined to give her a copy of the file, but apparently read some of the information to her over the phone. While Akin declined to give evidence that the rape was recorded on the student’s record and chose not to speak to WP when asked for comment, the woman says he did send her an email. In it, Akin told her, “If you wish to press charges and go public we will fully support you. I simply want to do what you want in all of this.”

The woman regrets not going to the authorities when the incident happened, something she says she would do if it had happened to her today.

The Snapchat and Porn Conversation You Need to Have. Today

Megan Briggs

May 22, 2018

Does your teen use Snapchat? The widely popular social media app has launched a new service called “Cosmo After Dark” that promises X-rated content to users. If your child is one of the 75 percent of teens¹ that use Snapchat, you should be concerned.

As Protect Young Eyes reports, “Cosmo After Dark seems to include a new, more pornographic level of sexualized content, even by Snapchat’s standards.” The article tells readers not to be so surprised since the app was originally started by college students interested in sexting.

Cosmo After Dark Is Bad—Really, Really Bad

But what is so concerning about this latest move by Snapchat is the content available through “Cosmo After Dark.” It is part of Snapchat’s Discover section, which includes articles and video advertisements from different media outlets like ESPN, Cosmo, Buzzfeed, E!, MTV, CNN, and others. You can imagine, based on the outlets providing content to this section of the app, that the content available here has always been a mixed bag of good and bad. But this new one, “Cosmo After Dark”, really pushes the envelope. The channel goes live each Friday at 6 p.m. EST.

Protect Young Eyes includes screenshots of the things they saw as they briefly scouted out “enemy territory”. What they share is not good, to put it mildly. One article they captured is titled “The 19 Best Sites to Binge-Watch Porn On”. Imagine your teenagers stumbling upon this article.

And stumble upon it they very well may. It’s unclear what content users may and may not see, depending on the birthdate they used when they signed up for Snapchat. You may want to take a look at your teen’s phone to determine whether he or she has access to the channel or not.

Lack of Parental Controls Exacerbate the Problem

It’s hard to determine whether or not your teen has stumbled upon this section of the app—whether deliberately or not. The only way for you to know after the fact is if your teen decided to subscribe to the “Cosmo After Dark” channel. If they did this (unlikely since you can still view the content on the channel whether or not you are subscribed), the channel would show up on their Subscriptions section of Discover.

The only thing Protect Young Eyes recommends parents can do is to ensure the birthdate is listed correctly for their underage user. Instructions on how to set the correct birthdate for a Snapchat user can be found here.

The Solution May Not Be Parental Controls, Though

So what can a concerned parent do to prevent his or her teen from accessing porn through Snapchat? The best prevention for promiscuous online behavior is always going to be relationship and honest conversation. Parental controls are good, yes. But they are hard to come by and they can’t protect against everything. For instance, you can have all kinds of controls set up for a phone or computer and your teen’s friend could send them an inappropriate picture out of the blue. Not to mention the things your teen might be exposed to at a friend’s house or on another person’s phone. The truth of the matter is, we aren’t going to be able to protect our kids 100 percent of the time. There are too many variables for us to control. Where safeguards and rules fail, we need relationship to help us know when there is a problem with our teens.

Do you have enough relational equity built up to be able to have frank conversations about sex, porn, sexting, and inappropriate content with your teen? If you don’t, I wouldn’t start with “Are you looking at that junk on Snapchat?! I certainly hope not!” If you don’t feel you have enough equity built up, personally I would start with a prayerful approach to grow closer to your teen, to a point where you can bring these things up (or better yet—your teen feels he or she can bring them up) without invoking the next Cold War. If you feel this kind of relationship is a long ways off and you’re really concerned now, is there another level-headed adult (preferably Christ-following) who can talk to your teen about this? How about the youth leader at church? It just needs to be someone your teen respects, trusts, and talks to.

If you do have relational equity built up with your teen, however, you are the best person to talk to your teen about Snapchat content. Honestly, you are. You are the one who cares for your teen with the best motives. So even if you’re not sure exactly how to bring it up, don’t let that stop you from doing something. Through the eye rolls and the embarrassed reactions and the sighs, deep down your teen knows you care about him or her. And they will be glad you said something, especially if you are rescuing them or preventing them from a lifetime of porn addiction. It can be a scary world out there on social media, and your teen feels that—whether or not he or she can articulate it.

More Changes Ahead for the Boy Scouts

Bob Ditmer

May 22, 2018

Earlier this month, when Mike Surbaugh, Chief Scout Executive of the Boy Scouts, unveiled the group’s new “Scout Me In” marketing campaign aimed at promoting inclusiveness he said, “As we enter a new era for our organization, it is important that all youth can see themselves in Scouting in every way possible.”

Who knew “every way” included sex and alcohol?

Leadership of the Boy Scouts has mandated that condoms be “readily and easily accessible” for next year’s 24th World Scout Jamboree, which is scheduled to be held in the mountains of West Virginia from July 21 to Aug. 1, 2019.

A subsection on page 10 of the scout’s 2016 handbook reads, “The Host [Organization] must ensure that condoms are readily and easily accessible for all participants and [International Service Team] at a number of locations on the site.”

The directive adds, “When making this information available onsite, consideration shall be given to the various cultures and beliefs present.”

That’s not the only change planned for the Jamboree, which will also include scouting groups from Mexico and Canada. The World Jamboree Guideline also allows and provides instructions for the consumption of alcohol in “confined areas” at the 12-day camping event.

Section 7.3 of the guidelines reads:

“The use of alcohol shall not be permitted on the Jamboree site. Some exceptions might be made for adults in confined areas, in accordance with the host country’s habits. Alcohol consumption may not affect the ability of any adult to carry out their assigned role. Adults may not interact with Participants when affected by alcohol.”

The changes to the Jamboree come on the heels of the BSA changing its membership policy earlier this month to allow girls to fully participate in local Boy Scout Troop programs and their official name change to remove the word “boy” to transform into the new genderless “Scouts BSA.”

And its equally controversial decision in 2015 to lift a ban on openly gay adult scout leaders and employees.

What hasn’t changed is criticism from pro-family groups. Florida Family Policy Council President John Stemberger, who also serves as chairman of the board for Trail Life USA, said in a statement:

“In light of the mandatory condom policy, it is not clear how far down the rabbit hole the Boy Scouts will continue to fall. With the addition of condoms and alcohol, the World Jamboree is starting to sound more like a 1960s Woodstock festival rather than a campout that parents would want to send their children to! All of this should be deeply disturbing to the churches that are chartering Boy Scout Troops. These policies present a clear youth protection problem that the BSA absolutely refuses to recognize. The fact that they are requiring that condoms be ‘readily accessible’ and are communicating this to everyone—including youth participants—shows that the BSA is both anticipating and facilitating sexual conduct between minors at this event. These policies are both outrageous and completely irresponsible.”

Following the BSA’s move to become a genderless organization, the Mormon Church announced it would end their participation in scouting in 2020. There are around 425,000 Mormon scouts making up 18.5 percent of the BSA’s total membership.

Boy Scouts of America claims almost 2.3 million members, down from 2.6 million five years ago and considerably lower than the more than 4 million participants it enjoyed in its peak years.

Is a Religious War Looming in Nigeria?

Bob Ditmer

May 22, 2018

Religious tensions are running high in Nigeria over the continued abduction of a 15-year-old schoolgirl who refuses to renounce her faith in Jesus Christ.

Leah Sharibu and 112 of her classmates were kidnapped on February 19 when Boko Haram terrorists raided Government Girls Science and Technical College in Dapchi, Yobe state. She was the only Christian in the group taken.

Boko Haram is Nigeria’s militant Islamist group and is also known as the Islamic State in West Africa.

After weeks of negotiations with the government, the terrorists released 107 of the 113 originally abducted. Those released said five of the girls died in captivity, leaving only Leah in the hands of the terrorists. She was reportedly kept because she refused to renounce her Christian faith.

The Christian Association of Nigeria has warned that there may be religious war in Nigeria should Leah Sharibu die while being held by Boko Haram.

Similarly, the Pentecostal Christian Association, which is the umbrella body of pentecostal, evangelical and charismatic ministries, churches and associations, described the country’s peace as hinged on Sharibu’s safety.

The board’s National Publicity Secretary, Bishop Emmah Isong, said, “She has become an ambassador of Christianity to the Republic of Boko Haram and we are demanding that she returns home safely to her parents.

The dire predictions have the Sultan of Sokoto, Muhammadu Sa’ad Abubakar, urging Christian leaders to tone down the rhetoric, claiming they “could make terrorists win their war against the Nigerian state. Sa’ad Abubakar is considered the spiritual leader of Nigeria’s seventy-million Muslims.

“For them to now make that comment that if she dies in the hand of Boko Haram there will be a religious war is very unfair. How could you start attacking Muslims because this innocent girl happened to be a victim of murderous terrorists. It means they (Boko Haram) are winning the war because that is what they want,” he said.

He made the plea while addressing resident communities, heads of security agencies, religious leaders and journalists during a Ramadan breakfast dinner held at his palace on Monday.

He also denied that traditional Muslims are in league with Boko Haram in holding Sharibu. “How could that be? Did the Muslims connive with Boko Haram to abduct the girls and release others? No.”

He added, “If they hear about this and went and kill[ed] the innocent girl that means you are part and parcel of what make them to do that because they want to cause confusion in the country. We are all praying for her safe return and for the safety of every Nigerian irrespective of his or her religion.”

According to Sa’ad Abubakar, more Muslims have been killed by Boko Haram than Christians, citing statements by Nigeria’s former President Goodluck Jonathan.

Pressure is increasing on the present administration to secure Sharibu’s release.

The Christian Association of Nigeria said in a statement, “Let all and sundry rise up against the failure of the security agencies and ask President Muhammadu Buhari to wake up from his slumber before the terrorists and herdsmen finish the country.

Bishop Emmah Isong added, “All Nigerian youths are waiting to see what the Federal Government will do. Our constitution, which requires the government to be a protector of lives and property, will be called to question if Leah is not released.

“We do hope that with our prayers and the concern of all Nigerians, including Christians and Muslims, Leah would be released very soon by the grace of God.”

It Starts With One

Greg Laurie

May 21, 2018

The high and lofty one who lives in eternity, the Holy One, says this: “I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.”
—Isaiah 57:15

It Starts With One

As we look at revivals in the Bible and at historical revivals, we see they often began with one individual, one person who decided to do something. Jeremiah Lanphier was a businessman who began a lunchtime prayer meeting on Fulton Street in downtown New York. A handful of people showed up at the first meeting on September 23, 1857, at North Dutch Church. Lanphier was persistent, however, and the group continued to meet for prayer and continued to grow.

Then something dramatic took place: The New York stock market crashed. Suddenly the prayer meeting began to explode. Prayer meetings quickly popped up throughout New York City, and within six months, ten thousand people were gathering for prayer in the Big Apple. It was unexplainable. They were renting concert halls and Broadway theatres for daily 6:00 a.m., 9:00 a.m., and noon meetings, packing them out as men and women called on the name of the Lord. And God began to work.

It was reported that 50,000 New Yorkers came to know the Lord during a period of three months in 1858, from March to May. Ten thousand people were added to church membership rolls weekly. The revival spread to other cities as well, and when it was all over, an estimated one million people had come to faith in Christ.

This revival from 1857 to 1859 became part of what is known as the Third Great Awakening in the United States. The revival wasn’t orchestrated. It wasn’t a campaign planned by people. It simply was a work of God in which God poured out His Spirit. We need to see that today.

Jeremiah Lanphier was not a great preacher. He was not a famous person. He was just an ordinary person who decided to pray. And you can do the same.

This article originally appeared here.

Church Facebook Ads Work Well When They Answer THIS Question

Brandon Cox

May 21, 2018

I see it all the time. I’ve done it myself. And it’s incredibly ineffective.

It looks like this…

Hi, this is Pastor So-and-so. I’m the Pastor of the First Fantastic Church. We meet on Sundays at 10:00 and we’d love to have you. Come check us out, worship with us and see what we’re all about!

Seems friendly enough, right?

A few years ago, after I wrote Rewired, I started getting a lot of questions about how to run Facebook ads to invite people to visit weekend services. I urged church leaders to put their money on social media advertising 10-to-one over print any day of the week.

Over time, I started getting somewhat negative feedback about the results.

We spent $X and got no return at all…

After examining some of the marketing efforts of various churches, I’ve become convinced they shouldn’t spend anything on advertising because they likely won’t see results and they’ll give up entirely.

So before you spend another dime on any kind of advertising, let’s talk about something incredibly important…messaging.

Here’s the problem with the script mentioned above…

It assumes people want to attend a church. And do you know who wants to attend a church?

Three groups of people…

Christians who aren’t happy at their current church. And trust me, in 97 percent of cases, you shouldn’t be trying to get them involved in yours.
Christians who just moved to town and don’t have a new church yet. But that’s a tiny percentage of the people you’re trying to reach.
Christians who go to church and like their church and aren’t interested in checking yours out.
So here’s my big advice about messaging… Start communicating to people who don’t yet know that they want to go to church.

By the way, if you really want to go DEEP in understanding Facebook Ads, check out JayKay Dowdall’s FB Masters Class! It’s not written for the church—it’s written for business owners and digital marketers, but you can apply all of it to the church.

Tailor your message toward people who aren’t believers or who don’t attend church at all right now.

In other words, your first job is to help people who don’t go to church understand why they might want to attend any church, especially yours.

So instead of “Hey! Come check out our church!” try this instead…

Ever wonder what life is really supposed to be all about? God has spoken about that, and we’re a community of people exploring what God has said about his purposes for us. Come explore with us.

Or…

Ever struggle to keep the flame alive in your marriage? God has given us some great wisdom about how to have a healthy marriage and we’re talking about that this weekend. Join us as we figure out how to have healthier marriages together.

Here’s another…

Ever feel depressed and you aren’t sure why? Jesus taught something pretty radical. He said that the pathway to happiness is through brokenness. What?? We’re talking about that this Sunday—come explore with us.

Whether you’re scripting a three- or four-minute promotional video or a two- or three-sentence text promo piece, you can put this template to work for you.

It doesn’t have anything to do with your preaching approach or your worship style. It’s effective because it starts with them and not with you.

Here’s the template…

Ask a question that taps into a deep need people are experiencing.
Raise curiosity by mentioning how God has addressed that question.
Invite people to come for answers.
Reassure people that they won’t be outsiders—we’re all exploring this together.
In other words, start with WHY anyone should even want to go through all the work of getting up on their day off, getting the family all dressed and ready, walking into a strange building full of strange people, and listening to a half-hour long sermon.

Remember, people come for content and then stay for relationships.

So in your messaging, share content that hints that there is even more helpful content available.

Your advertising dollars are going to be far more effective!

This article originally appeared here.

Water Night

Corinne Noble

May 21, 2018

Water Nights are great events for kids, their friends and the community to get together for a night all about having fun and building friendships (and getting soaking wet, of course)! We love to do it as a kick-off event for the summer on a Wednesday night, and we call it “School’s Out Water Night.” The kids always look forward to it and invite their friends to join in on the fun. Before we get into all the fun water activities, I wanted to share a few tips I have learned about setting up for an awesome water event. It’s not as simple as throwing a hose and baby pool outside, and if you don’t prepare with an adequate amount of time you may end up unprepared for the kids when they arrive.

Set-up:

Set-up time and effort will definitely vary depending on what you plan on doing during your event. If you’re renting inflatables, you’ll want to make sure you have the proper amount of hoses and hook-ups needed for the inflatable and any other water activities you have planned. We rented two water inflatables which needed hose hookups, so that meant that we needed one long hose to get from the spigot to the inflatables, two small hoses (one to each inflatable), and two more small hoses for our other activities. We purchased a four-hose splitter from Home Depot for about $15 and it was worth its weight in gold. If you are planning on using baby pools for your games/activities you will want to make sure you have several hours planned for inflating and filling the pools. I would suggest using an automatic air pump or hand pump unless you have lungs of steel for inflating your baby pools. We had four baby pools we were using and it took about two hours to get them inflated and filled for the event.

Many times, a water night means lots of water balloons and water toys. Make sure you have enough large buckets (laundry basket-size) to hold all your water balloons, and smaller buckets for whatever games you have planned. We actually had more water balloons than we had buckets this year. (There’s a first time for everything). We always provide extra towels, sunscreen and cold water bottles for the kids. Make sure you have your towels and sunscreen laid out on a table that is accessible to the kids and leaders, and fill a cooler with ice and water bottles to keep everyone hydrated. Lastly, if you are planning on filling water balloons or making sponge bombs (more on those later), you will want to allow enough time for that. The sponge bombs can be made any time, but you will not want to fill your water balloons until roughly one hour before you plan on using them. This makes sure they don’t pop before the kids get a chance to play with them. You absolutely NEED these Bunch-O-Balloons we bought for this event. Check out the video below. I used to spend hours filling up water balloons, and I was able to fill up 700 water balloons in a matter of minutes. We bought the packages of 100 balloons at Wal-Mart for $7.99.

Water Activities/Games:

Water Inflatables:

Water Games:

We always get a great deal on a couple water inflatable rentals with a local rental company. My suggestion is to find a place that has great selection, prices and customer service, and give them all of your business. The more loyal of a customer you are to them, the better service and discounts you tend to receive in return. Our kids had a blast on these inflatables. They were a great way to start the night off big, and a nice activity in-between games and relay races.

1. Baby Pool Kickball

The kids loved this game so much that we played it a lot longer than the allotted 15 minutes. We bought a giant beach ball from Wal-Mart for $5 that was about 2 1/2 feet tall inflated, and it was (surprisingly) very durable. This game is played just like kickball, but with baby pools filled with water as the bases, and a giant beach ball as the kickball. The great thing about this game is that if you have smaller kids who don’t understand the game they can just hang out in the baby pools and splash around while the older kids play.

2. Water Balloon Baseball

This game is played just like baseball, but with a very wet twist. You will need a big plastic bat and a lot of water balloons for this game. Instead of hitting a baseball, the kids will be trying to hit water balloons. You will use the baby pools for your bases in this game as well. The kids playing outfield will have buckets of water balloons, and will try to hit the person running to the bases with a water balloon to get them out.

3. Water Bomb Dodgeball

Before I explain how this game works, I have to tell you about how awesome sponge bombs are, and how easy they are to make. I found this idea on Pinterest, and all you need is a bunch of colorful kitchen sponges (the ones without the rough side), some scissors and some rubber bands. You simply cut each sponge into three even vertical pieces, gather nine pieces together, and band them together with a rubber band. You will want to make sure the rubber band is very tight so they don’t fall apart when kids are throwing them at each other. Once you have the sponge pieces banded together, just move the pieces around to make them look good. We made about 40 sponge bombs, but I don’t think you can have too many. They hold lots of water, and are re-usable. We decided to play a game of dodgeball using our sponge bombs. It’s just like regular dodgeball, but with the sponge bombs as the balls. The kids also played with these sponge bombs before and after the event. They were a huge hit.

Water Balloon Games:

1. Water Balloon Squat

We had originally planned to play this game with two teams, but had so many kids we decided to make four teams to keep the game moving and exciting. You will need enough buckets of balloons for each team to have a bucket and a hula hoop to place at the end of the course for each team. The kids will race one-by-one down to the bucket, grab a water balloon, run down to the hoop, and sit on the balloon to pop it. The game ends when all the water balloons are popped or when every kid has completed the course. Just a tip, don’t put your hoops on the grass unless you want the balloons to pop on contact. Our game ended up being throw the water balloon in the hoop, but the kids still seemed to love it so that’s all that matters.

2. Water Balloon Head Smash

This relay race is played just like the previous one, but with the kids smashing the water balloons into their heads to break them before running back to their teams. The kids love getting soaked during this game, and it was a lot of fun for all of the leaders and adults to watch.

3. Water Balloon Fight

We ended the water games with a traditional water balloon fight with all the left over water balloons. Nothing beats a good old fashioned water balloon fight!

Food:

Here in Texas, we love our snow cones! What better food is there for a water night in 90 degree temperatures? We bought two2 party packs from our local Bahama Bucks with six flavors for the kids to choose from. It was a great way to end our School’s Out Water Night.

Clean-up Time:

Cleaning up after a water event can be awful. Picking up all 700 balloons off the ground, retrieving all the little water toys and sponge bombs from all over the lawn, and deflating all those baby pools and inflatable toys can take forever. However, it doesn’t have to be so bad. We told all the kids who had not been picked up yet that whoever cleaned up the most trash and toys would receive a prize. It is amazing what the motivation of winning a prize can do. We also left our baby pools with the plugs open outside to deflate overnight. We were all cleaned up and ready to leave about 45 minutes after the event was supposed to end.

We had a blast at this year’s School’s Out Water Night. Here’s the full schedule for the night if you are interested: School’s Out Water Night 2015 Schedule. Does your church do any water events during the summer? I would love to hear what your kids’ favorite water games/activities are.

This article originally appeared here.

3 Steps to Overcoming Betrayal and Building Trust Again

Mark Alan Williams

May 21, 2018

Years ago I hired a part-time church staff member to help with the business aspects of ministry. After just a few months, I found out that he had gathered a group to discuss whether it was biblical to pay pastors. He never consulted me on the issue. It was a secret “Bible Study” on an issue of fundamental importance to me as the leader of the church.

The Bible is quite clear on the topic of pastoral payment (see 1 Corinthians 9:14). If he had consulted with me, we could have resolved the issue, and developed a bond another. But instead, he avoided me and acted subversively. He was soon gone from this part-time job.

A betrayal is a violation of our trust. For example:

Physical, verbal or sexual abuse at the hands of a friend, parent or other family member
A business partner or associate who withholds vital information from you
Disloyalty from a trusted team member

The Bible is filled with true examples of betrayals. Jesus knew the pain of betrayal. Judas, one of His trusted disciples, turned Him in to those who wanted to kill Him. Judas even took award money for betraying Christ.

1 Samuel 16:1-4 records the betrayal that King David experienced by Mephibosheth. David had taken him in and graciously treated him like his own son. But Mephibosheth was ungrateful and abandoned David in pursuit of his grandfather Saul’s kingdom.

There are three steps that can help us navigate our way through the terrible pain of betrayal:

1. Acknowledge our Feelings

When betrayed, it is normal to feel and express a range of emotions such as:

Denial
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Hopelessness

These emotions may come in overwhelming waves, but with God’s help we can make progress toward wholeness.

Unhealthy responses such as substance abuse, violence and rage will only complicate our lives and delay recovery.

Healthy responses to the pain of betrayal include:

Praying and reading God’s Word
Talking with a trusted friend
Meeting with a counselor
Journaling about our feelings
Exercising and self-care

2. Have Faith That God Has a Plan

Joseph was betrayed by his brothers. They threw him into a pit and then sold him into slavery. He was also falsely accused by his Egyptian slave master’s wife and thrown into prison. However, God was with Joseph in prison and blessed him.

After Joseph’s release from prison he became the top leader in Egypt next to Pharaoh and was able to keep his family alive during a severe famine.

Joseph said to his brothers, “And you intended evil against me, but God meant it for good, in order to make it as it is this day, to keep a great many people alive” (Genesis 50:20).

Christians have God’s promise of Romans 8:28 which says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

We, like Joseph, can rest assured that God is working a plan for good even in the midst of sinful betrayal!

3. Forgive and Learn to Trust Again if Trust Is Earned

During betrayal, forgiveness may be unimaginable. We may feel like forgiveness would mean letting the person get away with their disloyal actions.

But, consider the consequences of holding in such damaging emotions such as:

Anger
Fear
Resentment
Bitterness

Medical doctors tell us these emotions can result in:

Cancer
Depression
High blood pressure
Weight gain

Forgiveness sets us free.

According to Mark 11:25, our forgiveness of another’s betrayal is a requirement for us to receive God’s forgiveness. Jesus said; “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).

We have all fallen short of God’s perfect standard and sinned. If anyone has a right to hold a grudge it is God. Yet he forgives us through Jesus Christ, and expects us to do the same, for our own good.

Forgiveness:

Is a decision based on our will, not our feelings.
Provides an opportunity to rebuild trust as it is earned.

In time, we can learn to risk and trust again if trust is earned.

Forgiveness is always healthy and required by God. Rebuilding trust depends on the renewed trustworthiness of the betrayer.

Give forgiveness freely and generously. Give renewed trust as it is earned.

This article originally appeared here.

1. Know When to Refer

2. Know as Much as You Can

3. Utilize the Support System in Your Church

What does partnering with parents mean to you? In your church, what do you do to leverage the influence parents have in the lives of their kids?

What does that mean for us?

Hidden Dynamics Affecting Attendance:

1. A mindset that assumes our “church” from 60 months ago still exists.

2. The “20 Percent Churn Rate” factor.

Allegations of ‘unbiblical view of authority’ led to removal of Paige Patterson

Decades-old grudges against Paige Patterson

Key Quotes from Pete Scazzero:

Links Mentioned by Pete Scazzero in the Show:

Pete Scazzero on ChurchLeaders:

5 ESSENTIAL THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN PLANNING COMMUNION

Three emphases of early Baptists’ political theology

It Starts With One

Set-up:

Water Activities/Games:

Water Inflatables:

Water Balloon Games:

There are three steps that can help us navigate our way through the terrible pain of betrayal:

1. Acknowledge our Feelings

2. Have Faith That God Has a Plan

3. Forgive and Learn to Trust Again if Trust Is Earned

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