I’ve come to a cultural conclusion: While Hinduism dominates our theology, Buddhism dominates our practice.
Why Buddhism Is True, by Robert Wright, became a best seller in 2017. Four in 10 American adults now say they meditate at least weekly. Major companies like Google, Apple and General Mills have adopted Buddhist meditation programs for their employees.
Which means Buddhism will win the popular mind. There’s an old Latin tag, lex orandi, lex credendi. It literally reads “the law of praying, the law of believing.” The idea is that what is prayed paves the way for what may or will be believed.
Hinduism marks the philosophy of everything from The Matrix to Star Wars. But Buddhism is what we increasingly practice. Or, more to the point, pray.
So why Buddhism?
In an article for the Atlantic Monthly, Olga Khazan writes about why so many Americans are turning to Buddhism. Short answer? Mental health. And, to be sure, mental health is the new holy grail of our inner world. She writes that it’s not about “spiritual enlightenment or a faith community, but rather hoping for a quick boost of cognitive healing.” People have run out of options. “Mental health disorders are up in Western societies, and the answer doesn’t seem to be church attendance, which is down. There’s always therapy, but it’s so expensive. My meditation class was $12.”
So why Buddhism? Khazan is worth quoting here at length:
The ancient religion, some find, helps them manage the slings and arrows and subtweets of modern life. Many people are stressed out by the constant drama of the current administration, and work hours have overwhelmed the day. There’s something newly appealing about a practice that instructs you to just sit…
What’s different—and perhaps reassuring—about Buddhism is that it’s an existing religion practiced by half a billion people. Because relatively few Caucasian Americans grew up Buddhist, they generally don’t associate any familial baggage with it like some do with, say, the Christianity or Judaism of their childhoods.
Much like “cafeteria Catholics” ignore parts of the religion that don’t resonate with them, some Westerners focus on only certain elements of Buddhist philosophy and don’t endorse, say, Buddhism’s view of reincarnation or worship of the Buddha. Call them “buffet Buddhists.”
Taken out of their Buddhist context, practices like meditation “become like a dry sponge,” McMahan said, “soaking up whatever values are around.”
The Tibetan mountaintop monasteries, the shaved heads, the flowing robes, the exotic locations, the meditation…it all seems to hold the promise of the experience of the spiritual. Yet you don’t have to join anything, or really believe in anything.
Redemption was a key theme at the conclusion of the 2019 NCAA men’s basketballtournament, with Virginia bouncing back from last year’s shocking defeat to claim its first title. But for many players and coaches who were in the national spotlight during the Final Four, off-the-court redemptionmatters much more.
Both the Virginia Cavaliers and the team they defeated in overtime, the Texas Tech Red Raiders, made headlines for being vocal about their Christian faith.
Faith Is the ‘heartbeat’ of Texas Tech
After defeating Michigan State in a Final Four semi-final Saturday, the Red Raiders knelt for prayer in their locker room. Although CBS cut away from the scene, the team’s statement was clear. “I know nationally [prayer is] not accepted and not the norm,” says chaplain Corbin Young. But “it was no shock to me, knowing the identity of this team. That’s the heartbeat of who they are. Faith plays a huge part in the core values of this team.”
It’s been “a beautiful thing” to see Texas Tech come together and grow spiritually this year, Young says. Some players set up a weekly Bible study; others told reporters about reading Scripture daily and quoted verses during interviews.
Young, who texts team members daily, offered encouragement after Monday’s loss. “It’s so amazing that God’s love is not based on our performance,” says the chaplain. “His love doesn’t change, win or lose the national championship.” Young also reminded the young men that the sport isn’t their identity. “Basketball is just what they do, it’s not who they are,” he says.
Texas Tech senior forward Norense Odiase says “having a good relationship with Christ, it just fuels me, and it keeps me going.” As a pastor’s kid, Odiase “grew up in a household where God is the center of everything that we do.” Part of his family’s faith practice, he says, involves getting up at 5 a.m. to start the day with prayer. Odiase’s faith also has helped him cope with the death of two cousins in a car accident this spring.
Jarrett Culver, another Red Raider who’s the son of a pastor, says faith is key in his life and success. “Before games, I’m praying and reading my Bible. It’s a routine now,” he says. “I feel like God is with me on the court, and he protects me. It’s big for me.”
Texas Tech player Matt Mooney received kudos for being gracious after Monday’s disappointing loss. In an emotional post-game interview, he said, “Throughout sports, my faith has been tested a lot. There’s more to life than the game of basketball. There’s an eternity. At some point, the ball will stop bouncing.” Mooney, who says the Holy Spirit told him to transfer to Texas Tech, put Joshua 1:9 on his sneakers for inspiration during the tournament. “I know that God never leaves my side,” he says.
Virginia’s Coach Uses 5 Biblical Pillars
Tony Bennett, who’s led the University of Virginia Cavaliers to five NCAA tournaments in his nine years at the helm, calls Jesus “the greatest truth I know.” The coach once said, “I have great things in my life—my love for my wife, my love for my family, my love for coaching, my love for basketball. Those are wonderful things, but when you line them up in comparison to Christ and the relationship you have with him, with what he’s done for you and with what he’s given you, they don’t compare.”
After Monday’s victory, Bennett’s first words were, “Thank you. I’m humbled, Lord.” Amid the celebrations, he urged his players to remain humble too. “Don’t let this change you,” he told them.
In a 2014 interview, Bennett said, “If my life is just about winning championships—if it’s just about being the best—then I’m running the wrong race.” The coach, who became a Christian as a teenager at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp, leads his team according tofive biblical pillars: humility, passion, unity, servanthood and thankfulness. “It’s not just lip service. We really believe in them,” Bennett says. “Whether you’re a believer or not, those are significant for a team.”
Last March, after Virginia became the first number-one seed to lose to a number 16 seed, Bennett quoted Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” This year, after earning the school’s first championship, he played the song “Hills and Valleys” by Christian artist Tauren Wells. The shocking 2018 loss “will always be part of our story,” Bennett says, “but this is a new year.”
The coach, who prays regularly for his players, says, “It’s my hope that they’ll be able to find the truth in their lives that has really transformed my life.” But he also tries to respect their individual journeys.
Other Final Four Players Also Glorify God
The Auburn Tigers made it to the Final Four for the first time this year, losing to Bennett’s Virginia team by one point Saturday. But team members praised God amid the defeat. “My sole purpose on the earth is to glorify God,” says forward Thomas Collier. Being a Christian means you “want to work as hard as you possibly can for the Lord,” he says, but “that doesn’t mean God will bless you with a win.” What’s important to remember, Collier adds, is that “God will have a perfect plan for you.”
Michigan State, which lost to Texas Tech Saturday, also has vocal Christians on its roster. Sophomore guard Joshua Langford relied on his faith to deal with an injury this year while supporting his teammates. “It’s allowed me to have a good foundation,” he says of his faith. “I’ve just been trying to figure out what else God has placed inside of me.” Langford, who credits God with healing him from a life-threatening illness at age 12, told USA Today as a high school senior, “We are here for something more important than basketball, and that’s Christ.”
A new Instagram account is generating a lot of discussion about pastors, finances and stewardship. The account, PreachersNSneakers, started as a joke and was created by an anonymous self-described evangelical Christian who also dabbles in buying and reselling sneakers. Joke or not, the account featuring images of high profile pastors wearing expensive name brand shoes and other accessories has a lot of Christians talking.
“I’m not trying to cause a division…I just think that if you’re in church you should know how your pastor is spending the money,” the creator of the account told Fashionista.com.
What Prompted All This Attention on Pastors’ Footwear?
The creator, who Fashionista refers to by the pseudonym Tyler Jones, claims he started the account a few weeks ago mainly as a joke. While looking up a song by Elevation Worship, Jones noticed the worship leader was wearing a pair of Yeezy 750s, which Jones says resell for around $800. Familiar with the average church-workers salary (Jones’ wife works at a church), he was shocked by what he was seeing. A little more digging led him to Elevation’s lead pastor, Steven Furtick, who has also been known to don flashy shoes.
Jones says he isn’t necessarily trying to call particular pastors out on their clothing choices or spending habits. “All I do is find pictures, look up the things that they’re wearing and then put out the current market price and let you decide what you feel about that, you know?” Jones says. Jones uses a site called StockX which tracks what the market is willing to pay for a new pair of particular shoes.
The response to Jones’ account has been impressive. In just about three weeks, he’s garnered over 111,000 followers and scores of comments which range from vitriolic to praise for his efforts.
I’ve had hundreds of pastors and people in ministry message me like, ‘Thank you, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s prompting a discussion around what leadership and stewardship look like within the church.’ I also have this whole other component of the secular, questioning or atheist community that are messaging me like, ‘Dude, this is hilarious. It’s crazy the money that these preachers make.’
Somebody called me a hypocrite today and said that I was causing disunity within the church. But I’ve been pretty intentional to leave it relatively open-ended. It can be read passive-aggressively or it can be read like, ‘Oh this dude’s just gassing this pastor up for having a sweet outfit.’ I had a Dallas-based pastor reach out to me and ask to be featured on the page yesterday.
Who Has Been Featured on PreachersNSneakers?
Pictures of Chad Veach, pastor of Zoe Church in Los Angeles, show up on PreachersNSneakers more than pictures of any other pastor. One of Jones’ early posts featuring Veach actually caused a stir that led to Veach changing his Instagram handle. Jones had tagged Veach in the post, who commented: “Wanna know what’s crazy? I legit did not pay for one thing i am wearing. Is that wild to you? that’s wild to me… Thanks for the shout out tho. You’re a blessing.” Shortly afterward, Veach deleted his comment and changed his account handle.
This post prompted the comment “There’s a lot of money in the God business.” Another comment on a similar post featuring Veach reads “Chad taught me how to read the Bible when I was 14. Your account in [sic] attention hungry – sad vibes.”
Other pastors to grace the account are Judah Smith, Carl Lentz, Rich Wilkerson Jr., John Gray, Mike Todd, Erwin McManus, Robert Madu, Levi Lusko, Ron Carpenter, Keion Henderson, Nathan Finochio, David Crank and Jimmy Rollins. There are even a couple of worship leaders sited on the account.
The wives of famous pastors show up too, including Chelsea Smith, Natalie Todd and Julia Veach.
As much as he defers judgment on these pastors, in the phone interview with Fashionista, Jones does indicate he believes these pastors have some explaining to do. Personally, he says he would “be a little irritated” if his pastor wore expensive shoes. On the other hand, he doesn’t think one should base a decision on where to attend church solely on what the pastor is wearing.
A new study from JAMA Pediatrics has found that the number of children under the age of 18 who visited emergency departments (ED) between 2007 and 2015 for suicide attempts (SA) or suicidal ideation (SI) doubled during that time period.
“The numbers are very alarming,” says lead study author Dr. Brett Burstein. Dr. Burstein is a pediatric emergency room physician at Montreal Children’s Hospital of McGill University Health Centre. He is concerned that these numbers are only going to grow: “We are seeing an acceleration of this issue, and I worry that we have not yet seen the peak.”
Survey Details
The researchers conducted a “repeated cross-sectional analysis” of a nationally representative sample provided by the National Hospital Ambulatory Medical Care Survey (NHAMCS) ED database. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) collects this information on a yearly basis. The report’s authors evaluated 30,000 pediatric visits to 300 randomly chosen emergency departments.
Between 2007 and 2015, the number of youth from age five to younger than 18 who were diagnosed with SA/SI increased from 580,000 to 1.12 million. It’s worth noting there was no statistically “significant change” in the overall number of emergency room visits during this time frame. When looking at all pediatric visits to emergency rooms between 2007 and 2015, the percentage that occurred related to SA/SI grew from 2.17 percent to 3.50 percent. What’s more, “NHAMCS population-level estimates highlight the magnitude of this trend (7.3 million pediatric SA/SI visits over nine years).”
One benefit of getting information from the NHAMCS is that the organization looks at hospitals as well as research centers, giving a more comprehensive picture of what is occurring in society: “In this broader setting, NHAMCS data suggest more at-risk young children than described among pediatric hospitals alone.”
The authors note that the increase in SA/SI related emergency room visits coincided with a doubling in SA/SI related visits totertiary children’s hospitals during the same time period. It is also noteworthy that there was an earlier, separate NHAMCS study conducted from 1993 to 2008 that found that suicide-related emergency room visits doubled in all age categories during that time.
Why Might This Be Happening?
The researchers point out their study did not try to evaluate the causes for why increasing numbers of youth are visualizing and/or attempting suicide, although they say there are probably multiple reasons.
Dr. Gene Beresin (who did not participate in the study) is the executive director of The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital and professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He says depression and suicide have been “rising significantly” and speculates that one reason why is the pressure kids feel to perform in school and in their future careers. Also, suicide rates have risen in all age groups, meaning that parents and guardians are increasingly anxious and could be passing this stress on their kids. Other factors could be the challenges that have come with the Internet and social media, such as cyberbullying, which often goes unnoticed.
Exacerbating the problem is the lack of psychiatrists to meet children’s needs. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry reports that there are fewer than 17 psychiatrists for every 100,000 kids. Also, the various societal systems set up to help kids often do not communicate with each other about young people’s needs, leaving youth without adequate care. In fact, another JAMA study that came out earlier this year found that half of all children who struggle with mental health issues do not receive treatment.
The JAMA report on SA/SI concludes, “Findings suggest a critical need to augment community mental health resources, ED physician preparedness, and post–emergency department risk reduction initiatives to decrease the burden of suicide among children.”
Robby Gallaty is the senior pastor at Long Hollow Baptist Church. Prior to becoming a pastor, Robby struggled with a crippling drug addiction that cost him countless emotional trauma and financial difficulty. Robby was radically saved in 2002. In addition to his leadership at Long Hollow, Robby is also the founder of Replicate Ministries and the author of several books, including Here and Now. Robby and his wife, Kandi, have two sons.
Key Questions for Robby Gallaty
– How can Christians understand what the Kingdom of God is for us, here and now?
– What do you mean by saying sometimes we only preach half the gospel?
Key Quotes from Robby Gallaty
“Jesus talked about the kingdom of heaven more than any other doctrine, more than any other concept in his ministry. That is the most talked-about concept.”
“Ninety percent of the time Jesus talked about the Kingdom of Heaven not as a place that was there and then…for Jesus, 90 percent of the time the Kingdom of Heaven was here and now.”
“Could it be that we have spent most of our time as pastors, church leaders, Christians teaching our people what they’re safe from and we have neglected to train and equip them to show them what they’re saved for?”
“If heaven’s only some place I go to after I die, then whatever I do here on earth is optional.”
“If the Christian life was only about trying to get you out of earth, into heaven, then why in the world would Jesus leave us here after conversion?”
“Jesus’ life was just as important as Jesus’ death.”
“Discipleship can kind of be a junk-drawer term.”
“When Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount, he didn’t just give it as some lofty way of living that no one could aspire to, and he was the only one that could do it, so why even try?…I think Jesus gave us the Sermon on the Mount as a lifestyle to shoot for empowered and infused by grace given by him.”
“I don’t think you can be a Christian and trust Jesus as Savior but not obey him as Lord. You’re following Jesus as King, Lord, and Savior. You can’t compartmentalize the attributes of Jesus.”
“You can have all the religious activity in the world and still be on the throne of your own heart.”
Today will be littered with cards and flowers, chocolates and hugs.
Today there will be no apparent end to the hand-drawn stick figures scratched in green crayon next to the almost-legible: To Mom.
Today we will give thanks to You for the good gift of mothers and motherhood and to our mothers, near and far, for their affection and dedication and tireless love.
But today, many of us will wince in pain.
Today, for many—perhaps, for most—will come as a blaring reminder of what is not yet, what once was, or what never was. We will remember in blaring honesty the mothers that we never knew, who did not love us well, or those who did but have passed. We will remember in the harshness of reality the motherhood we desire, that we cannot seem to have, that we cannot seem to keep.
And for this we grieve.
We grieve, but are not alone.
In the midst of our pain and our tears, we look up to find ourselves in good company, and to find that this is nothing new to You.
We are Eve: knowing the sting of broken relationships and a broken earth, wishing our grown children would reconcile and wondering where we went wrong.
We are Hagar: rejected and denied, we face motherhood alone, and have no idea how You are going to provide.
We are Jochebed, Moses’ mother: rending our hearts in two in order to give our child the safety that we could not afford, sending our little ones away to be cared for by another.
We are Pharaoh’s wife: compelled to care for children not our own, tethered to them in love in a way we cannot explain, and praying that You will give us the courage and capacity to do it right.
We are Hannah: with the pang of childlessness tucked inside our breast, falling on the temple steps asking when—and how—you will meet us in our personal tragedy.
We are Rachel: longing for the day when You would remember us, and bless us with a child, while the women around us announce week by week, month by month, the joy of their own pregnancies.
We are Naomi: shrouded in grief at the loss of a husband, and the sons who never should have passed before us.
We are Mary: with an unexpected babe growing in our bellies, we are afraid we are too young, too inexperienced, to mother this child.
And so we ask You this day to come and mother us, good God. Would you come in Your way of compassion and affection and sweep us up into Your grand Self and, in this good company, let us sit with You a while.
In the past several years, as horrifying revelations about sexual abuse in church contexts have rocked congregations, denominations and ministries, many are wondering what role the theological convictions and church structures of the various groups involved have played in these awful acts of sin and injustice. There’s a wrong way and a right way to have this conversation, and if we get it wrong we will end up, unintentionally, furthering the harm done to those who have been abused.
This is on my mind today because I noticed that I winced when I saw the headline of a column by a writer I admire greatly, Tish Harrison Warren. The column was titled “Willow Creek’s Crash Shows Why Denominations Still Matter.” As I should have expected, I needn’t have worried. Warren’s article did not make the case that Willow Creek’s non-denominational status is the reason for the situation there. Instead, she argued carefully that, when used rightly, denominational structures can (though not necessarily will) help with the aftermath of awful actions by church leaders. The column was thoughtful and helpful, and you will want to read it.
The reason I cringed when I first opened the article, before I read the contents, is because I have heard many people arguing—simplistically—about theological or ecclesiological “reasons” for sexual abuse, usually in the context of defending the arguer’s own particular theological tradition or church polity. I’ve heard people in my tradition argue for years that the Catholic sex abuse crisis is due to clerical celibacy or to the hierarchy of that church. I’ve heard others say that the crisis in the Southern Baptist context is due to the lack of hierarchy. Bishops are the problem, or lack of bishops are the problem—which is it?
Likewise, I’ve heard many people suggest that Willow Creek’s situation is due to its egalitarian view of male-female relations, and others suggest that the Catholic or evangelical crises are due to a male-only pastorate. Some have suggested that elder government of a church will protect a church from unaccountable leadership, while others point to elder boards that have covered over awful crimes.
When a Hollywood director is caught in an abusive pattern, I’ve heard some Christians say it’s because of his atheism or sexual liberation. And then when a Christian clergyman is discovered in the same sort of abuse, I’ve heard some of my secular friends say that it’s because of “sexual repression.”
To some degree, these questions of theology are welcome. Jesus did, after all, tell us that we are to judge a tree by its fruit (Lk. 6:43-45). Sometimes awful actions point to something seriously awry in the system itself, or in the system of government. See, for instance, how many times the idea that a pastor shouldn’t be held accountable for misdeeds because of a misapplication of “touch not mine anointed” or the equivalent. Questioning theological or ecclesial systems in light of the Word of God is always right and good. The church is to be reformed and always reforming, after all.
That said, there’s a tendency to go beyond that, and to seek to identify, simply, the doctrinal or church-structure “culprit” and then to assume that excising that, or going with its opposite, will correct the situation. That, I fear, is a mentality that will simply empower predators.
What we are dealing with in the sexual abuse of the vulnerable is, after all, demonic (and I mean that quite literally). And that means that the devil, and those carrying out his will, are able to hide behind, and to use, virtually any ideology or theology or church structure. Evildoers can hide behind church hierarchy (as we’ve seen), and behind church autonomy. They can hide behind systems where leaders are mandatorily celibate or in systems where the leaders have families with double-digit numbers of children. They can hide behind theologies that minimize “gender roles” or in those that exaggerate them.
The point is not that we shouldn’t examine all of those things, to see whether our beliefs are right. The point is that we shouldn’t think that making a correction here or there will absolve us of the need for constant need for vigilance. Some theologies lead to horrible consequences, yes. Some church structures lend themselves to a lack of accountability and should be revised. But, after all of that, we must recognize that there is no safe harbor from this horror, this side of the New Jerusalem. That means that, whatever our theological tribe and whatever our denominational system, the struggle to keep children and other vulnerable people safe cannot stop with a revision to a confession of faith or an amendment to a by-law.
We must all be on watch. We must all be constantly examining not only how we may have wrong theologies, but just as much examining how predatory people can use “right” theologies too for awful ends.
The last few years have been filled with news of famous ministry leaders who are falling morally, abusing finances and leading by intimidation. I can’t think of a time, other than the Swaggert/Bakker scandals of the 1980s, where more ministry leaders have fallen in some swirl of ethical disgrace.
But, for every leader that falls morally, there are 10 who burn out emotionally and spiritually. I’ve seen far more ministry leaders leave the ministry out of discouragement than disgrace.
So how do we keep from being another ministry statistic? How do we finish well?
Although my race is not yet completed, God has blessed me to have been in ministry for 30 years. This week marked the 30-year anniversary of a church I co-planted and co-pastored for 10 years before launching into Dare 2 Share full-time. Over the last three decades of starting a local church as well as a global ministry, God has given me a few insights into some of the keys to longevity in ministry.
Here are four of them:
1. Take care of your body.
I know this may seem like “carnal” thinking, but taking care of our bodies is vastly underestimated by many ministry leaders. After all your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit according to 1 Corinthians 6:19,20. For the first five years of my ministry experience I had allowed the temple God had loaned me to become a mess.
By the time I was 28 years old I had ballooned to almost 225 pounds of mostly mushy fat weight. Not only did I have a weight problem, I also had a “wait” problem. I thought I’d just “wait” to get in shape when I had more time. Besides, I was too busy taking care of important “spiritual” matters to address the “worldly” focus of my own personal fitness.
But one day I realized that my lack of health was impacting my ability to work hard over a sustained period of time. I had to take what I came to nickname “fat naps” during the day and was often crabby to my wife at night. Concerned friends confronted me and, finally, convinced me to do something about it. Over the course of several months, through hard work and exercise, I pushed my weight below 200 pounds.
By God’s grace (and through a ton of sweat-drenched exercises) I now weigh 185 pounds and am probably in the best shape of my adult life. As a result I have the energy to do the work of a traveling evangelist with a relentless schedule.
So, as I challenge you to do something about your own personal fitness, I want you to know I relate. And I know the challenge before you…because that same challenge was/is before me. Eat healthy, sleep well, drink water and work out. Take care of the temple. It will help make you more fit for the ministry challenges ahead.
2. Take care of your soul.
Are you spending consistent time in the Word and prayer? Do you listen to music and podcasts that minister to your soul? Are you walking in a day-by-day, moment-by-moment declaration of dependence on the Holy Spirit? Do you take time to reflect and to rest?
Even though I’ve traveled for decades I’m hitting the road more now than ever. I have been touring with Winter Jam this Winter and YPS this Spring. Suffice it to say I know what busy looks like.
But, in the midst of the busyness, I find time to get away to pray, to read Scripture and to meditate on God’s truth. Without this time I couldn’t operate. Without this time I would burn out.
I’ve also found creative ways to combine taking care of my soul with taking care of my body. For instance, I often work out while listening to podcasts from great preachers like Chuck Swindoll and Charles Spurgeon. I can build my soul muscle, my brain muscle and my body muscles all at the same time.
For me, my time alone with God usually begins at 5 a.m. It’s my quiet time. Before my wife and kids I get up because, for me, it’s my best time to dive into the Scriptures, reflect on life and pray.
Of course, when I’m on the road I make adjustments. If I get to bed late then I’ll make sure I get enough sleep (if possible) but I always try to keep my time with God (as well as my exercise routine) consistent.
Take care of your soul. Never forsake your time with God. Improvise, adapt and overcome if your schedule is hectic, but prioritize it. If you want to keep from burning out then take time to care for your soul by spending time with the only One who can energize it with divine energy (Colossians 1:29.)
3. Take care of your relationships.
This has not always been easy for me. My early years of ministry were defined by marital conflict and relational frustration. I often left my wife high and dry emotionally during my ministry travels and this led to tons of arguments and tension.
In the early years of my marriage I subconsciously assumed that, because I was out “saving the world,” that gave me some sort of pass on being an emotionally present husband. After being confronted in a Bible study 25 years ago or so, I broke down…hard. And God used that time to mark a long road of relational recovery.
With the help of godly men and women in our church we fought through to break through as a couple. Sure, we still have tension from time to time, but we are a couple who loves each other deeply from the heart. Thank God for the power of the Gospel to redeem marriages!
But it’s not just marriage relationships that need redeemed. Its the relationships between fathers and sons, moms and daughters, brothers and sisters, friends and enemies (remember that according to Matthew 5:43-48 we’re supposed to love our enemies?).
Are you walking in bitterness or unforgiveness toward anyone? These become closed shades in the windows of our hearts that keep the light of Christ from shining in. Walking in this brand of self-imposed darkness can rob us of the spiritual Vitamin D that we need from basking in the presence of the Son.
And that can lead to burn out.
Take care of your relationships. And, finally…
4. Take care of your ministry.
“But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.” 2 Timothy 4:5
These are some of the last words of Paul to his protege Timothy. He is reminding him to take care of all the duties of his ministry. This includes implementing ministry values like teaching God’s Word, building a culture of intercessory prayer and raising up leaders who are leading in all the right ways.
When Paul told Timothy to “do the work of an evangelist” what exactly did he mean? We know from Ephesians 4:11,12 that God raises up evangelists “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christmay be built up.” An evangelist doesn’t just evangelize. An evangelist equips others to evangelize.
Are you equipping your teens to evangelize? Are you modeling this with your life? Are your student and adult leaders setting the pace for your youth group?
For help in building this type of Gospel Advancing ministry check out Gospeladvancing.org then go to your favorite podcast platform and subscribe to the Gospelize with Greg Stier podcast. It will be your monthly infusion of Gospel spiciness that can keep you energizing, mobilizing and Gospelizing your teenagers.
How does taking care of your ministry (in a Gospel advancing way) help you not become a ministry statistic? The answer is simple. When you are equipping teenagers to reach their friends and watching them step out in faith you can’t help but be energized for the tough times in ministry.
Just like hate and hurt became Adam Sandler‘s fuel in The Waterboy, evangelistic momentum and disciple multiplication can become our tackling fuel in ministry. It gives us the courage and determination to keep pounding through all the problems. Typical youth ministry done in the typical way doesn’t come close to giving you the emotional horsepower you need to keep driving through the all challenges of youth ministry.
Refuse to become a ministry statistic! Don’t burn out, fall in sin or fade away!
Take care of your body, your soul, your relationships and your ministry. Do the work of an evangelist. Gospelize your youth ministry! And, in the power of Christ, finish well!
In my work with pastors and leaders, I am reminded again and again of how deeply in our bones many of us carry four faulty beliefs that damage us and our ministries:
1. It’s Not a Success Unless It’s Bigger and Better
Most of us have been taught to measure success by external markers. And let’s be clear—numbers aren’t all bad. In fact, quantifying ministry impact with numbers is actually biblical. But let’s also be clear that there is a wrong way to deal with numbers. When we use numbers to compare ourselves or to boast of our size, we cross a line.
The problem isn’t that we count, it’s that we have so fully embraced the world’s dictum that bigger is better that numbers have become the only thing we count.
Have you ever considered that your ministry, organization or team may be growing and yet actually failing? Think with me for a moment about some of God’s faithful and, hence, most successful leaders:
If we were to create a bar chart on the size of John the Baptist’s ministry over time, it would demonstrate a peak followed by a steep decline.
Jeremiah and Isaiah were mostly written off by an unresponsive remnant—definitely not what anyone likely considered success.
Jesus didn’t wring his hands when “many of his disciples turned away and deserted him” (Jn. 6:66). He remained content, knowing he was in the Father’s will.
It’s hard to see how any of the names on this list would be considered successful in most leadership circles today. And yet the Bible makes it clear that God approved of their ministries. The implications are that we may well be growing our ministries but nevertheless failing.
Remember: Success is first and foremost doing what God has asked us to do, doing it his way, and in his timing.
2. What You Do Is More Important Than Who You Are
What we do does matter—to a point. And hopefully, you want to develop your skills and increase your effectiveness.
But who you are is more important than what you do. Why? Because the love of Jesus is the greatest gift you have to give to others. Period. Who you are as a person—and specifically how well you love—will always have a larger, longer impact on those around you than what you do. Your being with God (or lack of being with God) will trump, eventually, your doing for God every time.
We cannot give what we do not possess. We cannot help but give what we do possess.
3. Superficial Spirituality Is OK
For years, I assumed. I assumed that anyone who attended church and listened to biblical teaching—in our church and others—would experience transformation. I assumed pastors, worship leaders, administrative staff, missionaries and board members devoted themselves to nurturing a deep, personal relationship with Jesus.
I assumed wrong. Now I don’t assume anything. Instead, I ask.
I ask leaders to tell me about how they are cultivating their relationship with God. I ask questions like: “Describe to me your rhythms, how you study Scripture apart from preparations, when and how much time do you spend alone with God?” I ask them how they structure their time with God and what they do. The more I’ve asked these questions of pastors and Christian leaders, the more alarmed I have become.
Just because we have the gifts and skills to build a crowd and create lots of activity does not mean we are building a church or ministry that connects people intimately to Jesus for the sake of the world.
4. Don’t Rock the Boat as Long as the Work Gets Done
Too much of contemporary church culture is characterized by a false niceness and superficiality. We view conflict as a sign that something is wrong and so we do whatever we can to avoid it. We prefer to ignore difficult issues and settle for a false peace, hoping our difficulties will somehow disappear on their own.
They don’t.
For years, I turned a blind eye to issues I should have been engaging promptly and directly. But as we all learn sooner or later, I discovered that I couldn’t build God’s kingdom with lies and pretense. I found out the things I ignored eventually erupted into much bigger problems later. We have to ask the painful, difficult questions we prefer to ignore or the church will pay a much larger price later.
If we allow ourselves and our leadership to be formed by these faulty commandments—even in small ways—we increase the likelihood of devastating, long-term consequences. Odds are also good we will damage ourselves as well. And we will damage the people we serve by failing to bring them into spiritual/emotional maturity so they can offer their lives to the world.
Let me invite you to download a free discussion guide to The Emotionally Healthy Leader for your team at www.ehleader.com and to sign up for weekly leadership blogs and resources at www.emotionallyhealthy.org.
In 1 Timothy 5:19-21, the apostle Paul explains how to deal with a pastor who is sinning.1 Some readers understand Paul to be setting a higher standard for pastors than for other members of the congregation. I think this is a mistaken reading of Paul’s words, for Paul wishes for everyone to be treated equally and without “partiality” (v. 21). Paul writes:
19 Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.
Paul’s process for dealing with elders accused of a sin lines up with what Jesus says must be done for any brother that is accused of a sin. In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus says that if a church member sins against you, you should go to them in private. If they don’t repent, then you take along two or three witnesses to establish the charges made against the sinning brother. If they establish the charges and he still refuses to turn from his sin, then they are supposed to put the matter before the church. If he refuses after it is brought to the church, then he is excommunicated.
That is the same process in play for elders here in 1 Timothy 5, except this text picks up with the second step—establishing the charges in the presence of witnesses. Establishing witnesses is crucial to this process, as George Knight comments,
Paul is, therefore, reminding Timothy to follow the principle of Dt. 19:15 in church discipline. Jesus also applied this principle of church discipline in Mt. 18:16, where witnesses are said to be necessary “so that…every fact [literally “word”] may be confirmed,” the witnesses being invited to sit with two people who are seeking to settle a personal or private sin (cf. Mt. 18:15 [variant reading]; Lk. 17:3, 4) that the witnesses did not themselves see. They become witnesses through this procedure. In effect, Paul is urging Timothy to follow this procedure found in Matthew 18 and the OT before the church accepts or acknowledges as correct an accusation against an elder.2
If the sinning pastor is unresponsive to that confrontation, then the matter goes before the church for a public rebuke and call to repentance just like in Matthew 18.
This process is designed to establish guilt and to prevent false accusations. It is a serious sin to bear false witness against a fellow church member. And it is no less scandalous to bring false accusations against an elder. Unfounded, scurrilous accusations are not to be entertained or spread within the church.
Why do we do it this way? Members of a congregation are sinners (including the pastor), and sometimes they sin against one another. Jesus wants brothers and sisters in Christ to go to each other and to reconcile with one another in private. He does not want them to go to war with one another and divide the body. That would be wicked. Members should love one another enough to deal discreetly so that they can reconcile and move on. This kind of one-on-one confrontation and reconciliation is supposed to be normal in the life of a church.
We don’t need to be quick to take offense at people. We need to forebear with one another and not take every opportunity to point out an offense. But when a real rift occurs because of sin, we need to be able to go to one another with the expectation that we can work it out in private.
It’s only after private confrontation has failed that witnesses are brought in. If the offense cannot be established before witnesses, then the matter goes no further. But if it is established, it still needs to be kept quiet. No gossip or slandering. If the pastor persists in sin, it will come before the church in due time. Following these instructions helps to ensure that the charges will be established and well-founded, not based in half-truths and gossip.
No one should accept frivolous, unsubstantiated charges against a pastor (or any member for that matter). If the charges cannot be established by witnesses, then it doesn’t go public in any way and must be kept private.
That doesn’t mean that if a pastor sins against you and no one else happens to see it that you just have to live with it. The witnesses are not witnesses to the offense but to the confrontation after the fact. They can help establish whether the charges have merit or not (cf. Deut. 19:15-21).
Why do we do things in this way? Because we need to protect each other from baseless charges and petty gossip. And because we need to make a way for legitimate accusations to be heard and to go forward.
Paul concludes,
21 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality.
Not “prejudging” means that we do not presume someone is guilty simply because they are accused. We must not predetermine guilt or innocence before the facts are in. Keeping these rules without “partiality” means that we do not go easy on some people because we think they are important. We do everything fairly, consistently and in order.
—————
1 Denny Burk, “1–2 Timothy and Titus” in ESV Expository Commentary: Ephesians–Philemon, vol. 11, ed. Iain M. Duguid, James M. Hamilton Jr., Jay Sklar (Wheaton: Crossway, 2018), 436-38.
UPDATE: I read on social media a question about how to respond when it is discovered that a pastor is involved in criminal conduct. My answer is that you should treat such a discovery in the same way that you would treat any other member of the congregation involved in criminal conduct—at least insofar as civil authorities are concerned. You should report criminal offenses to civil authorities.
My view is summed up in the 2018 SBC resolution on abuse that I drafted along with Andrew Walker and Katie McCoy. The messengers at the Southern Baptist Convention overwhelmingly approved the final version of that resolution. In that resolution, we wrote this:
WHEREAS, God ordains civil government as His servant to us for good (Romans 13:4) and intends for us “to render loyal obedience thereto in all things not contrary to the revealed will of God” (The Baptist Faith and Message, Article XVII)…
RESOLVED, That we strongly urge abuse victims to contact civil authorities, separate from their abusers, and seek protection, care, and support from fellow Christians and civil authorities; and be it further…
RESOLVED, That we implore all persons to act decisively on matters of abuse, to intervene on behalf of the abused, to ensure their safety, to report allegations of abuse to civil authorities according to the laws of their state, and to pursue church discipline against impenitent abusers…
The Bible teaches that God has appointed civil government as His servant to us for our good (Rom. 13:4), and that is why our confessional standard (the BF&M 2000) calls on believers “to render loyal obedience” to that government as it seeks to uphold justice. So for me and for so many other Southern Baptists, the obligation to report crimes to civil authorities is the clear implication of our confession. That obligation applies even if a pastor is the perpetrator, and I believe that our confession is absolutely correct in this.
In a new series of YouTube videos, U.K. ministry Speak Life tells the story of Amy and Ryan Green, who created the game That Dragon, Cancer to memorialize their son who died from a brain tumor at age five. The game, which explicitly depicts the Greens wrestling with their faith in God, has not only been highly impactful to players but has also been well-received by critics, who have called it “really intense,” “harrowing” and “crushingly intimate.”
“This game…is upsetting, from the beginning to the end. It is challenging, enriching and devastating. I think it might have changed me in some way that I’m yet to fully understand,” said Colin Campbell in a review for gaming website Polygon. “This is a game that shows us the symbols of its church, that tries to explain the spiritual joy of belief, but it ought not be accused of being too preachy because it also acknowledges doubt, limitations and powerlessness.”
The Game’s Backstory
The Greens’ third son, Joel, was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he was one year old, and shortly before Joel turned two, the Greens learned that his cancer was terminal. At that time, doctors gave Joel four months to live. However, he ended up responding to treatments so well that the Greens got more time with him than they expected. Amy Green says this extra time gave them an opportunity to consider how they might share Joel’s story with other people, which they ended up doing through a video game. Ryan says, “Amy and I are creative people, and this is they way we express the things that we’re going through.”
When they began working on the game in 2013 (while Joel was still alive), the goal was to win, as it would be with any other video game. Amy says, “I think most people would say that the very best thing about a video game is that you are in control of it… If you fight well, then you’ll perform well, and the more you practice, the better you get, and that there’s a way to overcome every obstacle.”
But in the midst of navigating Joel’s cancer, Amy and Ryan felt completely out of control. On a particularly difficult night when he was with Joel by himself at the hospital, Ryan says he felt like he was “playing a video game where all the mechanics were broken.” As they continued working on their project, the Greens began to see the point of the game to be not for players to win, but to be immersed in and carried through its story. The result is that That Dragon, Cancer turns the norms of gaming on their head.
At the end of the game, players are faced with a challenge of pressing organ keys and lighting candles in a cathedral as they listen to prayers for God to spare Joel’s life. The players must solve the problem of keeping the lights from going out. But no matter what players do, as the final prayer for Joel’s soul is spoken, all the lights disappear. The Greens say that this scene depicts their pain, their confidence that God would redeem, their cries for help, their struggle with doubt and disappointment, and even the peace they felt about their situation.
What Does Easter Really Mean?
Many video games end by requiring players to defeat a “boss,” or an enemy more difficult than any other antagonist in the game. That Dragon, Cancer portrays the truth of the human experience by showing that we cannot defeat the “boss” that we all face—death—while still showing us the hope that Christ offers to those who are willing to admit their helplessness.
Joel passed away in 2014, shortly before Easter. The Greens say it was extremely difficult to be reminded of Christianity’s promise of new life when they had just experienced so much pain and disappointment. Since then, Amy says she’s grown to be able to “rejoice in Easter as a promise” and take comfort in the fact that Jesus is the “firstborn among the dead” who bears our sin and our suffering. Notably, the cathedral scene is the second-to-last scene in the game. In the final scene, players cross water in a boat (significant because of drowning imagery earlier in the game) and meet Joel, who is alive, happy and having a picnic. Before, the cancer had taken away his ability to speak, but now he can talk again and is able to enjoy pancakes, his dog and bubbles, which are his favorite things.
Ryan Green says, “I feel like as video game designers, we get to create worlds and invite people into it. And so one thing I would like to say is that, you know, we got to create a world, and I got to place my son in it, and I asked you to love him and let that love change you. And to me that is a small mirror of the promise of Christ, right? That God put His Son into the world and asked you to love Him and let that love change you.”
In 1998, I proposed to my wife. In order to propose I wanted to get the blessing of her father for the marriage. This was especially difficult for a few reasons. First, my wife was the oldest of seven children. As the firstborn, I knew it would be a big challenge to convince her parents that I was the one and we belonged together. If she were a second or third child, perhaps someone else would have paved the way for this proposal approval to be easier. Instead, I was the one paving the way. Second, my wife’s father was a thoughtful, quiet individual who didn’t speak much. I was going to have to generate a lengthy conversation and eventually ask the question I was afraid he would answer on the negative. Third, and finally, I had asked him to have dinner with me to discuss the subject. I did this because I wanted to get him on neutral ground. I figured that the restaurant would provide an edge I needed to convince him to allow his daughter to marry me.
Evaluating Your Easter Preparation
Once my plan was in place, I was ready to invite him to dinner. I was very nervous about the whole thing, so I wrote out a script to read in case I didn’t know what to say. I literally wrote down my name and what I’d say, and his name and what I thought he would say. Keep in mind that all I was doing was asking him to have dinner so we could talk. I dialed the number and waited for him to answer. The introduction of my script read like this:
Chris: Hello Keith, how are you doing?
Keith: Hello Chris, I’m doing fine. How are you?
Someone picked up the phone and answered, Hello? There was a problem; it wasn’t Keith. It was my future mother in law. I looked at my script and was thrown for a loop because I wasn’t prepared for her to answer. I stumbled and bumbled and eventually got Keith on the phone. Long story short, the dinner went OK, but he didn’t give me an answer. A couple of weeks later he gave me the green light, and Melissa and I got married later that year.
I put a lot of thought and effort into asking for my wife’s parent approval of the wedding, and even then, I had to adapt and overcome a few issues to have success. We can never fully know all of the obstacles we will face when we plan for circumstances like this. The same is true for our churches and big days like Easter. We can plan and plan, and something may happen that will force us to adapt and overcome. If not, we will not achieve our desired outcome. As you have spent time preparing for Easter, perhaps you have put a lot of effort into some great onramps and offramps for the big day. But what happens if there is a curveball? What happens when things don’t go as planned? Evaluating your Easter preparation starts in the preparation phase, but it is during Easter and the weeks following that the real assessing takes place. People are people and ministries aren’t perfect. You must adapt and overcome in real time so that your efforts are maximized. Here are a few questions to ask while you are assessing Easter in your church or ministry:
Why?
When things succeed, we often don’t reflect on the “why.” We just celebrate the fact that they went as planned. When things fail or don’t measure up to our expectations, we start with why. No matter what the outcome of your Easter preparations is, ask the why question first. Why did we have this outcome? Why did people respond in this way? Why did we expect a different outcome? Why didn’t people respond as we hoped? Why weren’t we prepared for the great response we had? The key in asking the “why” question is not to make excuses but to get at the root of the issue. Good or bad, positive or negative, you need to know the truth. The “why” resonates with the purpose and the purpose of all of your Easter preparation should drive the “what.”
What?
After you’ve asked “why,” now you need to ask “what.” What do we do as a result of the “why”? All too often we start with “what” and that can lead us down the wrong path to a false solution. “What” needs to follow the “why.” What we do should directly connects to why we are doing it in the first place. Make sure that as you evaluate your Easter plans, you make the connection between the “why” and the “what.”
How?
Finally, we must ask the “how” question. When we understand the “why” and we respond with what we must do, we then need to ask how it should be done. The last thing you want to do is be reactionary. Your “how” should be a thoughtful decision based upon the existing data. Prayer and discussion should surround the “how” question. Any response that is reactionary or out of desperation will ultimately fail. The “how” drives the next step for your ministry and your people, so marinate on it if needed, and move as quickly as possible without being reckless. I like to say: Move at the speed of your people. Sometimes that can be quickly, and sometimes, it means actions will take more time. It certainly doesn’t mean you should not be a leader, but simply that a great leader understands how quickly the people are able to take the next necessary step.
Easter preparations don’t have to be difficult, but they should be intentional. Make sure you are ready for helping people connect with the onramps and offramps of the ministry. Make sure you are prepared to respond to the highs and lows of the day effectively. No matter how much effort we put into preparing for Easter, we know that Christ will build His churchand that our highest priority is to surrender to His leadership and make disciples.
Google is by far one of the most prevailing organizations of all time.
Beyond their amazing technological insights and excellent execution, Google is a leadership engine.
Google has more than 85,000 employees. Stop and think about the sheer size of that operation. Last year alone they added over 5,000 new people to the team. That’s 25 new hires for every day of the working year. [ref] Google has also more than doubled the number of team members in the last five years alone and isn’t showing any signs of slowing down the grow.
10 Leadership Lessons From Google for Your Church
Beyond its size are the amazing lessons Google can teach us about leadership for today and into the future. The organization is forging the way to lead and manage in today’s culture. Google has been engaged in a long-term project to study the most successful managers within their organization and has widely shared these learnings through Project Oxygen. Since 2008, they’ve been tracking what it takes to be a great manager, and as church leaders, we’d be wise to learn from their findings.
Here are Google’s 10 traits of effective managers with some direct applications for us as we serve with our local churches. We’d love to hear your thoughts on these qualities and what areas you think we as church leaders perhaps need to work on more than others!
Is a good coach
The point of great management is that your people win at the end of the day. Rather than seeing yourself as the star of your department or area, recognize that the people on your team are the real heroes. Your role as a leader is to be a great coach that equips your team to achieve the highest possibilities.
Church leaderswho go out of the way to recruit, train, equip and release other leaders will always be the most valuable players on any team. We are in the “human development business,” so our primary job is to maximize others.
Empowers team and does not micromanage
Can I get an amen?!
Your value as a church leader isn’t in leaning over the shoulders of your people to make them to do things a particular way. Set the direction and results you are hoping for and then leave the “how” to your people.
The tough part about empowering people is that at the beginning, your team may do a worse job of it than if you just did it yourself. However, in order to scale up our influence and draw more people into the leadership community, you need to empower your team to take their piece and run with it.
Creates an inclusive team environment, showing concern for success and well-being
Relate before you delegate.
It goes without saying that as church leaders we need to show concern for others, but it’s not an immediate conclusion that leaders within the church should also slow down to provide pastoral support for the very people doing the ministry.
Personally, I’ve had to learn over the years that the process of leading the people God has entrusted to me is a contributing factor to the outcome we’re driving toward. The teams that you and I lead need to be a microcosm of what we are looking to have happen in the rest of our church. What if your team was the measurement of the depth of care and support people receive from your church?
Is productive and results-oriented
Results matter. A lot.
This is a great tension point to the previous leadership lesson above. What “quantifiable results” is your ministry seeing? How are you measuring (with numbers) what is happening in your area? If you can’t measure the changes taking place in your ministry, that could mean there is nothing really happening.
Does your worship ministry have more team leaders today than last quarter?
How many first-time guests did your team receive contact information from this week?
What you measure matters.
Is a good communicator—listens and shares information
Leadership comes with a microphone.
Not every leader has to take the stage and give the primary message on the weekend. However, every leader absolutely needs to be engaged in the process of communication. Understand what your people are thinking and clearly communicate with them on a regular basis. This includes not only speaking in front of various sizes of groups but written communication as well.
Most church problems are communication problems. The right people don’t have the right information at the right time. Solve that and you will be a leader.
Supports career development and discusses performance
The mission is bigger than your team. Your people are more valuable to the wider church in ways beyond just serving on your team.
When was the last time you asked someone on your team about what they want to do long term with the church? Better yet, when was the last time you articulated a future for your people beyond what they are doing now?
In the church I think we sometimes tend to forget the fact that people are choosing to serve with us when they have the option of serving in other places as well. If we want to keep our best people, we need to clearly define what their next steps are. This forward moving focus is not only for staff members but also for volunteers.
Good people are wondering where they are heading next. We need to show them some possibilities.
Has a clear vision/strategy for the team
How does what you do in your area uniquely contribute to the vision of the church?
Years ago, I remember talking with a member of our facility team about what they did. I was thanking them for doing such a quality job week in and week out. They proceeded to explain to me that it was great honor to ensure that our facilities supported the ministry. They told me their goal was to remove every distraction so that when guests arrive they can have a great experience and focus on what the ministry was saying to them. I love this! Go and do likewise. Getting really clear on the importance of your piece of the puzzle is key to making the vision of the church happen.
Has key technical skills to help advise the team
While 60 percent of leadership is transferable from one area to another, you still need some baseline skill to lead within your area. If you’re leading the creative arts people, then you need some level of creative ability to help your team succeed. The folks coaching small groups need some time in the saddle actually leading a group in order to grant them the credibility to speak clearly to their teams.
Do you need to acquire some new skills and abilities in your area at church? Great! Go get some training!
Collaborates across Google
Play nice with other areas.
Why is it that the kids ministry people can’t seem to get along with the student ministry team? Or why do the communications folks seem to be at odds with the worship people? Why does the finance team seem to not be able to talk with the “creatives” in the church?
Leaders who prevail within the church are bridge builders between teams. They see their role as one that helps their team connect with other teams, and they understand they are one part of the puzzle, not the whole. They are firmly committed to seeing the entire church succeed, no matter what that means for their personal team.
Is a strong decision maker
Move fast. Break stuff.
The biggest risk in most churches is indecision, not overly aggressive risk taking. By definition, there are times as a leader when you will be looked at to make decisions. While you can gather information and input from your team, you will need to be the one to pull the trigger and deal with the impact. We need more leaders in the local church who are less timid and more willing to make a decision.
Leadership is about moving people from where they are to a more desired future; leadership is about change. That means you will inevitably need to make decisions about what is a better future to pursue and then take action to move your people toward it.
In very real way, leadership is about having the guts to make decisions and then deal with them.
They led a church small group. They opened their home every single week to a group of 15, making space for prayer, Scripture and connection—which is why it shocked everyone when the husband shared he recently found out his wife was having an affair and didn’t plan to stop. The church’s pastors and elders were stunned; the small group was confused; no one knew quite what to do.
Shame and pain lurk under the surface of every soul, and most of us aren’t quite sure how to acknowledge the havoc they create. The more stories of hidden pain I encounter as a therapist and pastor’s wife, the more I am convinced there is no greater threat to the health of the church than Christian leaders avoiding their own pain. And the even more sobering truth is that avoiding our pain, wounds and sin is a subtle, often subconscious force impacting each of us more than we realize. It’s not just the small group leaders with secret marriage problems.
As leaders, we face pressure to project an image of being more than the gospel actually asks us to be. We languish in the tension between two powerful narratives: the alluring cultural narrative of strength as success and the more vulnerable narrative of weakness as the ground of both our greatest redemption and most powerful ministry.
We believe the gospel is for sinners, but we aren’t sure we want people seeing the ongoing impact of brokenness in our lives. We avoid the ways we escape grace’s grasp and instead exert unnecessary energy on appearing wise, successful and respected. Out of shame and a pressure to succeed, we distance ourselves from the very place God longs to dwell and redeem, and as a result, we end up feeling burnt out, confused and sometimes depressed.
Pain isn’t the enemy, but it does feel like it.
To be in pain is to be vulnerable. When we experience pain of any origin, our bodies almost instantaneously process it as a threat. Cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline course through our bodies without our conscious consent, signaling to our bodies it’s time to fight or flee the danger and exposure at hand. From a neurobiological perspective, our avoidance of pain makes sense. Experiencing or being reminded of pain, wounds or weakness unleashes a physiological cascade culminating in feelings of shame and a momentary inability to access reason. Because pain makes us innately vulnerable, it makes sense that we would automatically avoid facing it.
In a culture that minimizes weakness and disowns grief, it can feel risky to face our pain. Surrounded by a Christianity gleaming with the veneer of effectiveness, facing pain can not only seem scary but also like a waste of energy. Don’t we have Kingdom work to get done?
But a Christianity more focused on impact than pain is not the Christianity of the Man of Sorrows. Ignoring or minimizing pain robs us of taking part in the world-changing story of the God who chose suffering in order to redeem it.
United to Christ, we can face what we fear.
Jesus says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
He will give you rest.
But first you must acknowledge your weariness and burden.
The curious Christian story is that God joined us on the floor of this earth by embodying himself in fragility and participating in ours. Jesus fully united himself to our hidden, widespread pain before ever redeeming it. And because Jesus acknowledged our weariness and burden first, we can face what we instinctively fear.
In the gospel of incarnational descent, following the example of God-made-flesh, pain can become a friend and a guide on the path to true rest and transformation. As we descend into the brokenness of our stories and present pain, we can more fully access the wholeness of the story God is writing.
How to treat pain like a valuable part of your story.
Beautiful descent requires conscious effort. Here are some postural shifts you can make toward embracing pain as valuable part of your story. Partnering with God in leaning toward the pain in your life is going to take time and community, but it will always be worth the effort. These shifts are only a start and are far from exhaustive, especially as they are internally focused. But we must always begin somewhere.
Choose to try. Taking a different posture toward your pain is something you can only do if you think it is worthwhile. Choose to try out believing that pain is something God wants you to pay attention to. Like any virtue, gentleness toward your pain is going to take practice to cultivate and enjoy. But without trying, you may never know the tenderness God has for you to receive and participate in as darkness is touched by light.
Slow down. Busyness is the socially-acceptable drug addiction masking vulnerability. It’s keeping you from acknowledging wounds God wants to heal and sin that needs repentance. In a sea of constant noise, distractions and opportunities to mistakenly find our worth in effort, silence and solitude create inner space to hear God’s voice. Giving yourself room to slow down daily through the practice of silence and solitude are a foundational way you can learn to physically engage the transforming presence of Christ in your pain. And you can begin with as little as two to five minutes a day. This short piece from Pete Scazzero offers some practical guidance for getting started.
Pay attention to your body. Often our physical sensations are our surest guide to acknowledging the pain looming under the surface. Try a guided meditation. Notice how you physically feel throughout the day. We must cultivate habits of noticing how our bodies feel in order to acknowledge the bulk of the emotional and spiritual reality happening underneath our conscious frame of reference. This contemplative prayer video course from Chuck DeGroat is an helpful resource for combining mindful awareness of our bodies with prayer.
Read the Psalms daily. Let your soul be formed by the space Scripture holds for both desperate cries of excruciation and the bold affirmation of God’s consistent care. I particularly love following the Book of Common Prayer’s selected Psalms for each day, as the external structure pulls me into the perspective of passages I may not have chosen based on my surface-level desires for the day. Meditative reading of the Psalms expands our ability to enter the space God already has made for our deepest darkness and longing to be acknowledged and held.
Pain is not the end of the Christian story. But it is a powerful character in our present chapters. When we avoid its role in the story, we unintentionally allow it to write a story of striving and shame where we could know love and rest. The results can be more damaging than we want to admit. Instead, allow pain to be an invitation to walk the beautiful descent of the God who chose suffering. Know the power of the crucified God in facing the tangible cross of pain that exists in your life. For as we lean toward our pain, we actually lean into the embrace of the God who holds both us and our pain and is making us mysteriously new.
Months ago, I sat in a coffee shop chatting with two other women who served on mission overseas as single women in difficult areas of the world. One of the women had recently talked with a missions leader at her church. That leader pointed out the high number of single women on the mission field and asked her how church leaders can prepare single women to go overseas as missionaries.
As a single, female missiologist, I have walked with a lot of single women who are considering missions. I’ve also noticed that while many churches have developed ministry internships and mentorship opportunities with church leadership for men who are called to ministry, such opportunities for women are more scarce and often require some intentionality. While this lack of opportunities is not necessarily intentional or malicious, the reality is that women need this training as much as men.
This is how I would answer the question of how to prepare single females for the mission field.
Confirm and Celebrate Her Calling
Local churches and church leaders should confirm their church members’ (female and male) call into ministry. In order to do so confidently, observe her life. Look for the evidence of an ever-deepening relationship with the Lord. Has she grown in the fruit of the Spirit? Is she burdened for unbelievers and actively sharing her faith? Has she actively discipled people in the church? Confirm that you have seen those things in her life. Encourage her to keep growing in this time of preparation.
“The Lord has laid upon her a beautiful and difficult calling. Celebrate his goodness and the ways in which he will use your sister.”
But don’t just confirm this calling in her life. Celebrate it. While a calling to do full-time cross-cultural missions is not greater than other callings, the Lord has laid upon her a beautiful and difficult calling. Celebrate his goodness and the ways in which he will use your sister.
Pray for Her and With Her
Once you have a woman from your congregation who shows an interest in missions, commit to pray for her and with her regularly. Pray for her walk with the Lord. Pray for her spiritual growth. Pray that the Lord would use this time of preparation to deal with sins in her life. Pray in advance for a community of believers when she goes overseas. Pray for the lost people she will meet. Pray for those she will lead to the Lord. Pray for those possible days of loneliness and tears. Pray for the days of celebration and joy.
Don’t just pray for her; pray with her. Demonstrate what it looks like to intentionally pray for those whom the Lord has entrusted to you. This both encourages her heart and models for her what prayer looks like.
Intentionally Equip Her
This step is really important. Too often, the church abdicates its opportunity to equip and prepare a woman (or a man) for the mission field, assuming that the training offered by the missions agency is sufficient. But what a gift, to both the woman you send and the missions agency with which you send her, to deploy a woman who has been intentionally equipped by the leadership of your church.
Practically speaking, spend some time getting to know her. Ask her to consider her strengths, weaknesses, experience and spiritual gifts. Get to know her well and answer these questions for yourself. Sometimes, we women are reluctant to brag on ourselves. Other times, we don’t see ourselves truthfully.
“Intentional discipleship works two ways: it equips the woman who is going while simultaneously fostering an ethos of mission and responsibility in the women who stay.”
In the midst of getting to know her, let her get to know you. People, even church leadership, can underestimate the power of proximity when teaching and equipping people. Let her observe your life, meet your family, and hear about your love for the Lord, the church and ministry. Often, our passions prove contagious.
Second, consider the qualities of a good missionary and start intentionally preparing her. Would you expect her to be able to share her faith? Team her up with some gifted evangelists from your church and let them teach her the basics of evangelism. Would you expect her to disciple people? Help her find a new believer in your congregation with whom she can meet. Would you expect her to teach? Give her opportunities to try her hand at creating and delivering a lesson. Instill in her a desire not only to learn but to practice and to equip others.
Connect Her With Older Women
Consider your congregation. Are there women who come to mind as prayer warriors, equippers, counselors or encouragers? Intentionally connect your single female with those women. Let the women in your church surround her, love her and walk with her as she prepares for the field. Let Titus 2 do its thing. Intentional discipleship in this manner works two ways: it equips the woman who is going while simultaneously fostering an ethos of mission and responsibility in the women who stay.
A single woman in your church approaches you and says, “I think I am called to be a missionary.” What do you do? Confirm the calling (if you can do so truthfully) and celebrate what the Lord is doing in her life. Pray with her and for her often. Find ways to intentionally equip her, and connect her to other women who will walk with her as she prepares. And rejoice that the missionary God you serve is still in the business of sending people to his harvest.
Wow! Can this coach ever pray a blessing over his team! March Madness wraps up this evening. For all but the two teams playing in tonight’s big game, the chance at victory has come and gone. Virginia Tech’s Coach Buzz Williams wants to make sure his players know they have very bright futures ahead of them, despite the loss they suffered. Williams prayed for the team’s three graduating students in the locker room after a crushing defeat by Duke in the Sweet 16. His prayer is a blessing prayer to end all blessing prayers and will move you to tears—even if you don’t follow college basketball.
How great is this from @Hokie_Hoops coach Buzz Williams praying with his team over his 3 seniors.
Williams prayed for Ty Outlaw, Justin Robinson and Ahmed Hill, players who have been with him for the majority of his five years as coach of Virginia Tech men’s basketball. According to sports commentators, these young men have built Virginia Tech into a respected contender in the national college basketball scene, a fact that is clearly not lost on Williams and is apparent in his prayers.
Coach Williams: These Young Men Will Lead Fortune 500 Companies and Be Good Men
Not just looking to the immediate future, but also down the line, Williams prayed for Robinson: “I pray for his life as a leader, I pray for his life as a father, I pray for his life as a husband.”
“As he becomes the governor, as he becomes the mayor, as he becomes the head coach, anoint him with the opportunity to impact people’s lives,” Williams said as he prayed for Robinson.
Williams thanked God for Outlaw’s and Hill’s respective mothers, who he says supported their sons to be able to go to school and play basketball.
Indicating that Hill had had a troubled past or difficult family situation, Willaims said, “I pray that as he becomes a husband, the examples that he’s seen since he’s been here will break the cycle in his life. I pray that as he becomes a leader, as he becomes the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, that he would continue to dispel every potential possible stereotype that’s been labeled to him.”
Williams Asks for Humility and Guidance
Williams also prayed for the players to have humility. “God I pray that you would fill these guys with the right kind of humility and the right kind of love—that it’s not selfish, that it’s not for them…that they would know that the best kind of leadership is servant leadership.”
“Help them not to go astray. I pray that your spirit would guide the steps that they take.”
Williams ended his prayer assuring the players he would always be there for them. “Anytime you need a hamburger, anytime you need a place to stay, you call me. You’ll have my cell number the rest of your life…I will always take care of you. I will always take care of your mom.”
“I’m incredibly thankful for the example you’ve set for my sons. I’m incredibly thankful for the example you’ve set for my daughters. Your character will always win,” Williams concluded.
It’s clear that character is a big theme in the Virginia Tech basketball program, and that Williams is an awesome coach. Telling the players he loves them, the heart of God the Father was on display that night in the locker room.
Coaching and Youth Ministry
Watching the prayer made me think of youth ministry. There are so many milestones youth pastors witness in the lives of young people. Often a youth pastor will see a student through the transition from middle to high school and then beyond. They may see that student go off to college or make difficult decisions about which direction to take their career and life. It’s not any bit less weighty than an NCAA basketball championship, even if these life transitions don’t include ticker tape and cheerleaders.
How might you incorporate a blessing like the one Coach Williams gave his players for the graduating students in your youth group? More importantly: How can you show up for them, week after week, and speak words of encouragement and blessing?
With a shoulder full of tools, an ATF agent heads towards the burnt down Mt. Pleasant Missionary Baptist Church to begin the second full day of investigation Wednesday, June 19, 1996, in Kossuth, Miss. ATF agents are gathering evidence and wreckage to be analyzed in Atlanta for flammable contents. (AP Photo/Dan Loh)
Authorities in Louisiana are investigating what they call suspicious and related fires at three historical African-American churches in 10 days, starting on March 26. All three Baptist churches, located in the rural St. Landry Parish, were more than a century old.
“There is clearly something happening in this community,” says H. “Butch” Browning, the state’s fire marshal. “We do believe that crimes have occurred. We believe that the three fires are not coincidental; they are related.”
The FBI and ATF are assisting local authorities with the investigations, and no motive or suspect has yet been identified. No one was injured in thelate-night blazes at Mount Pleasant Baptist Church, Greater Union Baptist Church, and St. Mary Baptist Church. A fourth blaze occurred at a predominantly black church about three hours away, but any possible connection remains unknown.
Amid the Tragedies, Worshipers Unite
“It’s sad that our society has stooped this low to do something like that,” says Mount Pleasant pastor Gerald Toussaint. Although the loss of the structure is “heartbreaking,” he says, “You can’t destroy the church, because the church is in the people, not the building.”
On Sunday, Morning Star Baptist Church welcomed Toussaint and his congregation for worship. “We’ll keep praying with a building or without a building,” says Curtis Zachary, a deacon at Morning Star. “You can burn a building, but you can’t take us, can’t break us.”
Browning asked worshipers to pray for whoever committed the “horrendous crime.” The affected churches have “formed a purpose…to spread the good news” of the Gospel, he says. “We’ll get that person a whole lot better help than the justice system will ever get them because we’re going to help them find God, and we’re going to use that to stop this cancer that’s going on that’s executed through crime.”
In response to the fires, Louisiana governor John Bel Edwards says, “Our churches are sacred, central parts of our communities, and everyone should feel safe in their place of worship.”
Security has been increased in St. Landry, with the sheriff saying he’d personally handcuff the perpetrator.
Fires Raise Fears of Renewed Racism
“Quite naturally, something like this would shake us up,” says Harry Richard, pastor of Greater Union. “I’m very concerned about whether or not this [fire] was intentionally done.”
Black churches were burned as an intimidation tactic during the civil-rights era. Numerous suspicious fires have occurred during the past few years, as well. Racial tension escalated after a white supremacist killed nine black Bible study participants at a Charleston church in 2015.
Browning, Louisiana’s fire marshal, says, “If the hate crime definition was violated, we will certainly vet those things out.” According to FBI data, hate crimes have been on the rise for three straight years, with a 17 percent increase in 2017 alone.
After the Louisiana church fires, civil-rights activist Dr. Benjamin Chavis tweeted: “We will not let terrorism break our faith or stop our struggle for freedom & equality.”
Florence Milburn, whose family has attended Greater Union for more than 100 years, says, “It’s like losing a family member, or losing a family home.” She adds, “We have to rebuild God’s church.”
Wherever I talk to leaders, they tell me one of their top challenges is finding enough people for their teams, particularly volunteers.
Then—usually within minutes—they tell me an even bigger challenge is to find the right people—people who can lead, inspire, mobilize and accomplish things, and that they don’t have nearly enough young leaders ready to move the mission forward and reach the next generation. (If it’s helpful to you, here are some keys to working with and leading Millennials.)
How to Stack Your Leadership Pipeline With Your Best Volunteers and Team Members
Regardless of age, though, this is a challenge in staffing that cuts across every demographic, and it’s an even bigger challenge for churches and organizations that use volunteers.
Churches will almost always have 50-100 times as many volunteers as you do staff. And, by definition, you can’t incentivize volunteers with attractive salaries and benefits.
For all those reasons and more, most churches struggle to get enough volunteers, and almost all churches struggle to find the right volunteers. And everyone leading teams struggles to get great people.
And here’s what’s at stake. Your church or organization will never grow unless you master the art of christian leadership development.
Why? Because your church will only grow as large as your team enables it. Perpetually small teams create perpetually small churches. But grow your team, and you open the path to growing your church.
The question is, how do you do that?
Despite all the talk over the last few years about developing a leadership pipeline, most leaders are struggling to figure out how to do it.
So today, let me show you a simple short cut I’ve found to stacking your pipeline with the best new volunteers and team members.
Here we go.
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF TEAM MEMBERS
So let’s start with a simple reality. There are essentially two kinds of people: leaders and doers.
Leaders gladly rise to a challenge and can take others with them.
Doers, on the other hand, prefer to do what you tell them and little more.
Effective organizations build teams of leaders, not just teams of doers.
So many leaders told me they felt like they have a volunteer core of doers and hardly any leaders. Or at least if there are leaders present, they can’t seem to find them.
Why is it so important to make this shift from doers to leaders?
Because doing doesn’t scale. Leadership does.
If you really want to reach the full potential of your mission, developing a culture of leadership will take you there in a sustainable way.
You will always need doers, but you’ll also need a solid group of leaders in place to lead and manage the doers.
Which raises a big question: How can you tell if a potential team member is a leader or a doer?
Here are five ways to tell whether the volunteer you’re looking at is truly a leader, not just a doer.
1. CHECK TO SEE IF THEY HAVE FOLLOWERS
Simply put, leaders have followers. Doers, not so much.
Look beyond your church or organization to see whether a new volunteer functions like a leader in the community or more like a doer.
Sure, they’re not leading at your church, but if they’re really a leader I promise you they’re leading somewhere. A leader might be running a shift at the local coffee shop and doing it well.
Or your new volunteer may be a mom who is pretty much running her neighborhood—the playgroups, the book clubs. She’s a leader.
Maybe your new volunteer is a young adult running a small business or a music studio.
Or, let’s say they’re still in school, true leaders will already be volunteering as president of a club or leading trips or teams or doing something meaningful that they don’t have to do.
Bottom line: Look for people who are already leading something somewhere. You can spot a leader because they’re already leading and they already have people following them.
If they’re leading well in their life and they believe in your mission, there’s a good chance that they are going to lead well on your team.
2. STUDY THEIR INFLUENCE
The simplest definition of leadership I know is from John Maxwell: Leadership is influence.
Influence doesn’t depend on position. You don’t have to be at the top of an org chart to have influence. In fact, if the only influence you have comes from your title, you’re not a leader.
Conversely, there are interns who cultivate tremendous influence in organizations because they’re so great at what they do and have figured out how to lead others.
Watch for the influence people have both in your church (everyone listens when she talks) and in the community.
It’s a sign they may be a leader, not a doer.
Conversely, people who don’t naturally cultivate influence won’t necessarily gain any influence just because you put them in charge.
3. SEE IF THEY MAKE THINGS HAPPEN
Doers respond to what’s happening. Leaders make things happen.
Doers can take direction and execute someone else’s vision, but they will require energy and follow-up that a leader doesn’t require.
A leader is a catalyst—creating change, momentum and progress. You want to build your teams around people who make things happen.
4. WATCH HOW THEY RESPOND TO RESPONSIBILITY
Leaders love responsibility. Doers get overwhelmed by it.
Often church leaders are hesitant to give volunteers real responsibility and authority. We’re worried they’ll think it’s too much, because, after all, we tell ourselves, ‘they’re just a volunteer.’
But paradoxically, true leaders are energized by responsibility. They love a challenge.
You’ll find a leader constantly asking, “What else can I do?” Even better, a leader will proactively pursue more responsibility.
To be fair, jumping into responsibility and challenge can be a sign of dysfunctional behavior. Usually, it’s not. But occasionally, it is. Here are six signs that will tell you whether the eager volunteer you’re talking to is toxic.
Still, healthy leaders rise to the occasion. It’s the way God made them.
5. GIVE THEM A CHALLENGE
Finally, leaders love a challenge. Doers don’t.
In the same way, doers get overwhelmed by responsibility, they find a challenge to be too much.
When you have a big vision for something new and you cast that vision to a leader, true leaders will be energized and excited.
They’ll even add their own ideas and begin envisioning whom they’ll invite along with them.
Leaders with big gifting love big challenges. So give people a significant challenge and see who steps up (and who doesn’t). That will show you where the leaders are.
By the way, even though this post is primarily about finding volunteers, these five criteria also work beautifully for staff hires.
My son. I need you to hear me when I say this: I am not ashamed of you. You’ve spent most of your life believing otherwise, but I’m here to remind you, again, that nothing could be further from the truth and that the root of your sin is not simply broken wiring or desire gone mad, it’s not believing what I have said about you.
You’ve always felt like there was something distinctly wrong with you. Refusing to let anyone in, you played it up for the crowd, and believed it was necessary to play it up for me as well. My dear son, I don’t want your performance, I want your heart. I didn’t die for the best version of you you can muster, I died to make you mine. I didn’t die so you could attempt to conform to my ways. Read that again. Just look at the story of redemption that I’ve written through time. Again and again my people, who are called by my name, could never conform to my ways. The Dark Matter has made that completely impossible. It’s in you from birth, so please don’t waste your life trying moralize yourself for me, you will always be spinning on that wheel. I’m not interested in conforming, I’ve began a work in you much deeper and longer lasting than that. I’m about transformation. The work that I’ve set about you in you—and promised to complete, mind you—is turning you into an entirely new creature. I’ve set about the process to re-humanize you. You think you know who you are, but it is only by believing what I have said about you do you truly find you who you are. Only in me, can you clearly see you.
You are often motivated by fear and shame. This, my son has none of Me in it. The Evil One always has two sides of the same coin, and fear and shame is the other side of the lust coin. He lures you in with the promise to scratch the itch that itches deeper than you know, and once the bait is taken, the coin flips, and only fear and shame is left. Yet, remember my son, I have always reminded you to fear not, because I’ve got you. You are mine, so there is nothing to fear. This is most important to remember in your times of failure. And shame? It’s insidious, dripping with demonic cultivation aimed at the hearts of my children…but it is a façade. True shame can’t exist for my children because there is no condemnation for them. My First Son took it. He took the worst you had to throw at him, and entered into it on the cross. I will spend your entire lifetime reminding you and you’ll spend all of eternity reflecting on this truth: Jesus climbed into the darkest stuff you have done, and took every ounce of shame, fear and punishment for you. This allows me to be with you in your darkness, your felt-shame, your addiction and brokenness. The woundedness you try to hide from others…that’s exactly where I want to go. Invite me in.
I’ll spend your life, every day, inviting you into the way home. I will always enter into your brokenness, because He took it all for you. And porn? That evil, destructive stuff that the Evil One has created to rip the seams of your brokenness open even more? Laugh at its lie, and run from its pull. Remember son, I created pleasure, the Original Pleasure-Maker, and I created you with the capacity to enjoy it. Porn is merely the illusion of being fulfilled, an imagination of being satisfied. It will not satisfy, because it cannot satisfy. You think I would design you in such a haphazard way as to be satisfied by a screen?! No, son. I have far greater, deeper plans to satisfy you. Turn to me to satisfy your wounded soul, and I will not only give you satisfaction, I’ll give you healing. I have promised to satisfy your thirsty soul, to fill your hunger with good things, and I am always faithful to my promises.
You won’t remember my truth every day, this is why I gave you my Spirit, my Letters and my People to remind you, but remember—the way home is always this: You know your sin and we both know your track record. As long as you look at that you’ll never have hope of change for change doesn’t lie in your ability to bring me your successes or avoid me in your failures. No son, take the risk of trusting what I have said about you. Invite me into those places that you don’t even want to go, those places of pain and brokenness, and there I will do a work that is beyond your imagination. I will make you whole. Regardless of what you choose each day, or moment for that matter. You will forever and always be, my son.
Some pastors are naturally an approachable pastor. They have a certain charisma that draws people. Other pastors draw in people like an open casket viewing. People approach but with nervous hesitation. Most of us are somewhere in between these two extremes.
Your approachability as a pastor is not limited to Sunday mornings, but it’s a key time when people will develop perceptions about you. I’ve heard one comment over and over from people who meet me for the first time after I preach: “You’re way taller than I expected!” I don’t know what it is about the stage or pulpit, but apparently people don’t pick up on my six-foot-two-and-three-quarters-frame. (The three-quarters is important because that makes me the same height as my little brother.)
There are several theories about how follower perceptions—whether correct or not—affect the realities in which leaders operate. The cliché is true. Perception is reality. Good pastors know this. They understand preaching alone, doctrine alone, vision alone is not enough. Some of the most naïve advice out there is “Just preach the Word.” It’s tantamount to telling a teacher “Just teach good lessons.” Some of the worst teachers are the ones who are only there to dump knowledge. There is a relational aspect to leading. People have to trust you, believe you and yes, like you. Obviously, not everyone will like you, but a segment of those you lead should!
Approachability is only one facet of leadership, but it’s an important part of being a pastor. Your weekend worship experiences are a concentrated time, meaning you have the most people on campus for a short duration. It’s your chance to interact with your congregation and for others to see you interacting. Not everyone will talk to you, but many will see you talking and assume you can be approached.
If you are a lead pastor, there will be many wrong perceptions about you. It’s impossible to stop. People will formulate ideas about who you are, often pulling from ideals and experiences—good or bad—with previous pastors. These perceptions will be corrected over time as you interact with people and as church members communicate with other church members about your true personality. I certainly haven’t mastered the art, but I make an intentional effort on Sundays. Here are some things to consider.
Take the initiative. The most approachable pastors approach others first. In fact, you’re not being approachable if you wait for others to come to you! Get to the service early and simply walk around and talk to people. Interact with your church between worship experiences if you have multiple services. Stay afterward and hang out with those who are talking in the room.
Sit and stand in different areas of the worship space during worship. Don’t get into a rhythm of sitting in the same seat every week. If you have a balcony, then go up there and sing with everyone. Take a seat in the back row. Sit with different people. I try to move around in this way at least once a month.
“Help” the first impressions team. The greeters don’t need your help, but it’s a great place to meet a lot of people as they come into worship. Shake hands. Smile. Hand out worship guides. Help someone find a seat.
Have an extended conversation with an early arrival. Most people who are seated in a worship service early are guests. Spend five or 10 minutes getting to know them. Ask for their contact information and follow up with them. Most guests will appreciate the personal interaction with a pastor.
Invite people to talk after the invitation. We have a time at the end of our services where we invite people to respond. This response time has many different forms. We often pray together. We often call people to action. Though I don’t say it every week, I will let people know during the invitation that they are invited to talk with me or another pastor after the service. While people respond during the invitation time, far more respond afterward.
Your persona on Sunday morning is not the whole of who you are, but it’s often the main way in which church members form perceptions about you. Use the time strategically to become a more approachable pastor.
Joby Martin joins “The Stetzer ChurchLeaders Podcast” to discuss what happens when a church leader has truly been run over by the “grace train" and understands the profound love and grace of God.
