Examples of Mental Anguish and Depression in the Bible

By

-

January 3, 2019

Today I thought I would simply share some examples of when people got depressed or mentally anguished and deal with depression in the Bible. If you are reading this while depressed, don’t believe the lie that you are alone, or that God doesn’t understand how you are feeling. Do get the help you need from doctors and the like, but also know that even God’s people have suffered in a similar way. Knowing that you are not the only one takes some of the power away from strong emotions.

Here are some key examples of mental anguish and depression in the Bible, many of these will resonate with those who have suffered greatly:

- David

Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep. 5 David’s two wives also had been taken captive, Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel. 6 And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.
(1 Samuel 30:4–6)

A PRAYER OF ONE AFFLICTED, WHEN HE IS FAINT AND POURS OUT HIS COMPLAINT BEFORE THE LORD.
Hear my prayer, O LORD;
let my cry come to you!
Do not hide your face from me
in the day of my distress!
Incline your ear to me;
answer me speedily in the day when I call!
For my days pass away like smoke,
and my bones burn like a furnace.
My heart is struck down like grass and has withered;
I forget to eat my bread.
Because of my loud groaning
my bones cling to my flesh.
I am like a desert owl of the wilderness,
like an owl of the waste places;
I lie awake;
I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.
(Psalm 102)

Elijah:

“he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” (1 Kings 19:4–5)
Hannah:

“Hannah wept and would not eat… She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly.”
(1 Samuel 1:7–10)
Paul:

“ …we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.”
(2 Corinthians 1:8–10)
Jesus:

“He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”
(Luke 22:41–44)

“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.”
(Matthew 26:38)

Finally, perhaps the most poignant verse in the whole Bible about Depression in the Bible is also the shortest, and once and for all demolishes the idea that Jesus doesn’t understand your deep emotion:

“Jesus Wept.” (John 11:35)

This article originally appeared here.

This Is What True Leadership Does

By

Mike Mack

-

January 3, 2019

This Is What True Leadership Does

God wants us to realize that we are works of art in progress, and we, as leaders—church leaders, small group leaders, teachers, parents, etc.—can envision others with this truth.

I am fortunate that several people in my life took the time to help me see beyond my present circumstances to something better. God used to them to transform me into what he had in mind for me in his plan for my life. Allow me to share my own personal experiences.

School was a chore for me. I was always the youngest and smallest kid in my class. It started in kindergarten. I had not fully developed my language skills yet—even my mom didn’t understand half of what I said. My kindergarten teacher was a Chinese nun who herself had not mastered English. Mom understood less than half of what she said. (Somehow my teacher and I understood each other perfectly well, but no one else could understand either of us!) My teacher and I got along great, but when the year was over, I was not even close to being ready for first grade.

Somehow I got through first grade…and then came second grade in a new school. Mrs. Stevens (not her real name) was my teacher, and for some reason she did not like me. I can’t remember doing anything to warrant her disaffection, but, well, she just treated me as if I had stolen her favorite broomstick. At the end of the year, she gave me an F in math. My mom went to the principal’s office, armed with the evidence of passed quizzes and assignment papers, to complain. When confronted, Mrs. Stevens admitted to a “paperwork mistake,” and upped my grade to a B. But the damage of that year was done on my psyche and self-image. (Several years later, Mrs. Stevens was fired from the school, allegedly for a drinking problem.)

In fourth grade I endured several social embarrassments, including having my pants rip up the entire inseam while playing football on the playground. This freak accident happened twice in two weeks.

In fifth grade, I had to go to a special class each day for kids with speech problems. I couldn’t say my Rs correctly, so “bird” sounded like “boawrd.” I hated being singled out and pulled out of my class to go to the “speech teacher.”

In sixth grade, I discovered I had diabetes, and missed three weeks of school. When I returned to classes, I had to leave class twice a day to get a snack. Doctor’s orders. My friends treated me like I was “different,” and my teachers did nothing to help educate my classmates about the disease.

I struggled academically and socially through school until eighth grade when two important events took place to change the direction of my life. The first happened at home. Mom owned and operated a custom drapery shop in the basement of our home. She employed about four other women in the shop, all of whom became like extended family to me.

One day, out of the blue, Mom said, in front of everyone, “You know, Mike is a really good problem solver. He always uses his creativity to come up with good solutions to difficult situations. He really has a creative mind.”

The second positive thing that helped change my life happened in school. It was math, the subject with which I struggled most. I had a Chinese teacher, Mrs. Li, who knew very little English. “Here we go again,” I thought. My first couple days in class were like a terrible nightmare. I’d become sick just thinking about going to class.

Mrs. Li had a lot of difficulty keeping control of the class. She even had her military-regimented husband come in one day to scold us for our misbehavior. We were moving through the math textbook at a clam’s pace and learning nothing.

About a month into the year, two of my friends, Paul Augustine and Dale Trebor, went to Mrs. Li and suggested they do an independent study through the textbook. She agreed, and they asked me to join them. Each day we worked through the textbook ourselves. If we came across something we didn’t understand, we tried to work it out ourselves, and if we really had trouble, we asked Mrs. Li for help. When one of us got stuck on a concept (this was algebra), the other two stopped to help him figure it out. None of us moved on until all three of us got it.

When we finished one textbook, Mrs. Li got another and let us advance. At the end of the year, Paul, Dale and I had worked our way through three and a half textbooks! The rest of the class had not even finished the first, with very little comprehension.

If you were to ask my friends and co-workers for a reference on me today, they might say a couple positive things about me. First, I’m a creative, big-picture thinker. I’m good at seeing a problem and coming up with creative solutions. Second, I’m pretty good with numbers. After my “small group” experience in eighth grade, I went to a private college-prep high school and tutored other kids in algebra.

You see, I was given a vision of what I could be, indeed, in what I truly was. I am not the short kid with speech and math impediments. God worked through those painful times in my life to develop something inside me that only he could bring about. And, in his design, he used others to envision me with his plan for my life.

My mom used encouraging words to bring out something good in me—something good that God had created in me. She saw it, helped me to see it, and then helped me become it. She was God’s instrument in his process of transforming my life.

Paul and Dale included me in their community with a purpose. I believe this was my first small group experience! Together, we spurred each other on and, in the process, really connected with each other. We challenged one another and were patient with each other as we moved together to become something better.

God created every person as a unique work of art in his creation. God’s plan is for us to realize this and live it out. But we do not always see the beauty and purpose within us. Leaders have a special privilege of helping people see, understand and live out the purpose God has created within them. It is God’s plan to use his people to encourage one another and spur one another on to what he wants us to be. He wants this for our lives because he loves us.

Adapted from Chapter 1 of my book, Leading from the Heart: A Group Leader’s Guide to a Passionate Ministry, published in 2001 by TOUCH Outreach Ministries.

This article originally appeared here.

3 Pastoral Resolutions for 2019

By

Joe Hoagland

-

January 3, 2019

Everyone around you is creating or has created resolutions for 2019. They want to eat better, be more active, be a better person, etc. Maybe you have started on working on some of these resolutions as well.

If you are a pastor I think there are three resolutions you should look at committing to in 2019. Here they are:

Love Better

The first pastoral resolution for 2019 is to love better. This is not just “loving your people better” or “loving your staff better.” I’m talking about upping your love game in your whole life.

How can you love God better in 2019?

How can you love your spouse and family better in 2019?

How can you love your church better in 2019?

How can you love your neighbors better in 2019?

I hope as we go into the New Year that we all resolve to love better as pastors.

Lead Better

Recently, Brandon wrote a really good article on developing a personal growth plan. Check it out here: How to Develop a Personal Growth Plan as a Pastor

We are not going to make any headway as a leader and pastor in 2019 if we are not working on ourselves.

One more thing I would add to probably all the other things you want to do to lead better in 2019 is to take one person under your wing and really pour into their discipleship and development. If you personally improve yourself and really invest in someone you will be a better leader as a pastor this year.

Pray Better

For me this is the most important one. See good pastors love people well and they lead well, this can be done to an extent with an inadequate prayer life, but to really reach the next step loving and leading in 2019 you have to commit to taking the next step in your prayer life.

Really sit down this week and assess your prayer life. How often are you spending one on one time with God? How much more time do you need to spend to be the leader and pastor he has called you to be?

Maybe you could do some practical things to help your prayer life: set an alarm to remember to pray for certain things and certain people, start a prayer journal, or a number of other things to help your prioritize prayer in your life in 2019.

What are your Pastoral Resolutions for 2019?

This article originally appeared here.

Bad Things Happen When a Church Terminates a Minister

By

Joe McKeever

-

January 3, 2019

church terminates a minister — Adobestock #164965052

I should state up front that not everyone calling himself/herself a minister of the gospel is telling the truth. Charlatans and hypocrites can be found in every field of endeavor, including the ministry. Those who go from church to church preaching corrupted gospels, bullying the congregation in the name of Jesus, tearing up fellowships and ruining lives—such people need to be put out of business.

Once pastors and denominational leaders see the destructive pattern in a minister’s history, they should quit passing his name along to other churches. And someone should speak the truth to him and say why. Then “unfriend” the guy.

But unless a church has good cause, it should never fire a minister. If there are reasons for dismissing the minister and vacating the pulpit, faithful and mature leaders can find ways to make it happen without ruining that person’s future opportunities for service. But outright firing a minister forever brands him and may ruin his ministry prospects.

I hear this all the time. “He’s outlived his usefulness here.” “We need new leadership.” “He’s not a good match for our church.” “He’s offended the key leaders and no one trusts him anymore.”

OK, fine. If the consensus is fairly unanimous that the pastor needs to leave—and in most cases I mean the minister agrees also!—then you can find ways to make it happen honorably. After all, in addition to handling the ministry with care, leadership must think of their church’s reputation also.

I cannot tell you the number of churches that have ruined their reputations by the crude way they ushered a pastor from their church.

I regret to say that I know much of this firsthand. As our Lord said to Nicodemus, “We speak of what we know and testify of what we have seen” (John 3:11).

When a church fires a pastor and sends him packing, many things happen. Almost none of them is positive or good.

One. Several things happen to the minister…

–His family is hurt.

–His children are body-slammed. They were the innocent victims in this drama—attending their choirs and mission groups and sports teams. Suddenly, their parents announce that “Daddy is no longer the pastor and we cannot go back to that church.” In any other line of work, when Daddy loses his job, the family still has its church. And after all, the fellowship of the church has eased many a hurtful transition for everyone else in the congregation. But it will not be doing so for the pastor’s family.

–His reputation is shot. When one friend was trying to get back in the pastorate after a year’s layoff, the search committee liked his preaching and were impressed by the interviews. But they simply could not get past the fact that his previous church had abruptly dismissed him. “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire,” they said. To date, several years later, he is still out of the pulpit and doing another kind of ministry altogether.

2019 Checklist: Online Ministry Strategy

By

Tyler Rominger

-

January 3, 2019

One of the biggest struggles with managing any group, organization, ministry, or business is coming up with an online ministry strategy that is understandable to everyone involved. Add onto that the need for applicable, pertinent content that leads to genuine action, growth, and success, and the task becomes even more difficult.

While the lack of a clear-cut strategy and organization is often a widespread issue within a ministry, an area that tends to suffer the most from this lack is a ministry’s online presence.

With that in mind, here are my thoughts, formed into a checklist of sorts, in order to help you form your organization’s online strategy for 2019.

A WEBSITE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH

When you work with a good web redesign services, you will find they take the time to understand the requirements and goals for your upcoming website redesign.

Look, I’m in the business of website design, and I like a beautifully functioning, trendy site as much as the next fella.

In my experience, though, building the site itself is too often treated as the “final step” in a process that is so much deeper and more complex than just having a swanky looking series of web pages with content that was filled in months ago and then left to sit in a dusty, unvisited corner of the internet.

Honestly, creating a good online strategy in the modern-day requires a lot of other little steps if you want all of that hard work that went into your website not to go to waste.

I never get tired of pointing out that a website is THE key to a ministry’s communication these days.

It can be a hub of information as well as an outreach tool that helps churches stay relevant to the world around them.

In many ways, a ministry’s website has literally become more important than their geographical presence.

Why you ask? We’ve reached a point as a culture where someone is more likely to stop and look at a Facebook or Google Ad than they are likely to look up from their phones and see that steeple as they drive by.

With all of this said, I’m going to start my checklist at the point AFTER your website is made.

AN ONLINE STRATEGY CHECKLIST

The bulk of this article is going to be condensing a much longer article I wrote titled “An Ultimate Church Plant Digital Marketing Guide.” While some of the specifics of the longer article are tailored towards newer churches or ministries with little to no marketing budget, the truth is, a ton of the content is applicable to any organization and can help bring a synergy to your online presence.

1. FULLY OPTIMIZE YOUR SITE

As I already mentioned, building your site is just the tip of the iceberg. Just because you’ve got that handy URL to pass out to congregants and plaster all over your social media, that doesn’t mean people will automatically come flocking to check it out!

The best way you can “grease the wheels” of a new site (or an older one!) in order to help get more visitors is by making sure it’s fully optimized. Here are a few of my top suggestions for getting your site in tip-top shape for guests.

Branding

The power of good, consistent branding is a crucial part of all marketing efforts, including those online. Make sure that no matter what part of your website they’re on, a visitor is made well aware of who you are.

In addition, you can use a site like knowem.com in order to make sure that your brand is being properly represented across the internet.

You can find a full breakdown on branding and all of the benefits it brings in this Church Juice article from November called “Why Branding?”

Mobile Design

Every day this one becomes less crucial for you to worry about. Why? Honestly, a good website builder these days should make sure it’s all taken care of for you. But it’s worth taking a few minutes to go over your site and make sure that it’s mobile-friendly. Google announced that it would be going to the Mobile First Index years ago, and now we’ve arrived. The proof is officially in the pudding. If your site isn’t optimized for mobile users, you’re probably getting less traffic.

All of that said — from my perspective if your website is done correctly your church doesn’t need to, and shouldn’t [be] spending money on a native mobile app. Crazy right? Not really if you think about it. Apps saw [a] quick rise between 2009 and 2013. More specifically in the church between 2012 and 2017.

So you have to ask, why the sudden rise? I’ll tell you. It’s because websites had not caught up to the smartphone industry and at that time websites were almost impossible to navigate on a touchscreen device.

But now that websites have caught up there is no real advantage to having a native mobile app.

Loading Speed

We’ve all been there, tapping our feet in a completely unreasonable lack of patience as a website takes seven seconds instead of three to load. It’s kind of crazy what we’ve come to with the whole instant gratification thing, but honestly rant aside, it’s something that you need to take into account as a website owner if you don’t want to lose traffic. And I mean serious traffic.

Neil Patel claims that you can lose 7 [percent] of your traffic from a single second delay in your site’s loading speed!

Patel has actually done a ton of great work on the effects of loading speed. Here’s an infographic from his site that highlights some of the worst effects of a lag in your loading speed. It’s business oriented, but many of the stats are just as true for the nonprofit world as well.

If you want to address your site’s slow load time, you’re going to want to check things like

Prioritizing above the fold content
Using correct image sizes
Utilizing browser caching
Gzip compression

Structuring your site

Remember, just because you have a site doesn’t mean it’s a good one. You want to make sure that your site’s content is structured and SEO optimized in a way that will encourage Google to send traffic your way! Your seo agency can help you implement powerful SEO strategies to deliver amazing SEO results for you. You can also reach out to an SEO expert like Damon Burton for some great advice!

You’re going to want to make sure that you research appropriate keywords that don’t just relate to your ministry but also to your geographic location. If you’re a Baptist church in Phoenix, check that your site has “Phoenix Baptist Church” on it, not just “Baptist church.”

It’s also a good idea to utilize your title and “H” tags as well as geotag your images and include location-specific content to make your site show up in local search results.

2. SETUP GOOGLE ANALYTICS (AND GOOGLE ADS IF YOU CAN!)

Phew! Alright, once your site is optimized, you’ll already have gotten through a lot of the hard work (and you’ll have a shiny, SEO-happy site to boot!).

Now let’s go over a few of the things you can do externally to help get that traffic flow going.

Setting up Google Analytics can be a really helpful way to track if and from where you’re getting traffic. If you see that quite a few people are finding you through Facebook rather than Twitter it can help you pinpoint your outreach efforts.

In addition to Analytics, though, if you’ve got a budget, even if it’s a small one, you may want to consider setting up a Google Ads account. This allows you to create paid ads that you can then set to be promoted specifically to local people within a certain geographic location.

3. DOUBLE CHECK YOUR GOOGLE BUSINESS LISTING

Yet another way to boost your online traffic is to make sure that others are talking about you accurately.

It’s helpful to check out your Google Business Listing (what Google is saying your ministry name, address, phone number, etc. are) and make sure it’s accurate.

You can also take this approach with Apple Maps in order to double check that you’re showing up in local searches with the right information.

Finally, you can hop online and try Googling your own ministry info and see what comes up. If you find something inaccurate was shared, reach out and ask the poster to fix it! You can also look for Church Directories or other mass information hubs where you can ensure that your organization is listed with the proper info.

4. MAXIMIZE THAT SOCIAL MEDIA

Finally, get a plan in place for your social media. I can’t emphasize this one enough.

If your website is the hub, the centerpiece, the “body” of your online presence, then social media is its tentacles. This is how you can get in front of people quickly and fairly easily.

It can be a bit of work coming up with content on a regular basis, but it really is worth investing the time to keep those channels of communication up and functioning well.

And there you have it. My take on what you should be focusing on with your online strategy in 2019.

To recap:

Optimize your website.
Set up Google Analytics (and Google Ads if you can).
Make sure you’re properly listed in Google Listings, Apple Maps, etc.
Wield that social media like you mean it!

It’s so easy to ignore the myriad of little things you can do to increase your online traffic, but honestly, this is where the future of online communication is going more and more every year.

In 2019, more than ever, it’s going to be important to have a good online strategy in order to help keep your website healthy and your traffic steady.

This article originally appeared here.

Irish Church’s Video Takes Off for All the Right Reasons

By

Jessica Lea

-

January 3, 2019

A video posted by a church in the city of Lisburn, Northern Ireland, has gone viral in a small way on Facebook. St. Paul’s Lisburn is an Anglican church whose members filmed a video of themselves doing various activities to the song “My Lighthouse” by the band Rend Collective. The Christian band is based out of Bangor in Northern Ireland.

The church’s video is both cheesy and endearing. It starts with the church doors opening to a minister singing and welcoming viewers in as the song begins. We then see the church members engaged in various activities, singing and sometimes dancing to the song. St. Paul’s has a variety of groups that meet for different purposes. Some are specifically related to the church, such as the praise team, choir and ministry team. Other groups are recreational. For example, there are the Knitwits (apparently a knitting club) and the Ramblers (a group of people who meet to go on walks throughout the countryside). The video also shows church members ministering to people in different ways, such as by washing cars or serving community lunch.

Sincere Light

The video ends with a shot of the church building and the text: “Jesus, the light of the world. St Paul’s, shining that light into the community.” It’s a fitting ending to a video set to a song about God being our lighthouse, that is, a source of stability and hope amid darkness and uncertainty:

I won’t fear what tomorrow brings
With each morning I’ll rise and sing
My God’s love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

While some might see the video as hokey, it’s also charming because of its sincerity. The church members present an unvarnished picture of their church—with a little singing and dancing added in. We get to see different generations of the church body participating together in the life of the church, enjoying one another’s company, and serving other people.

What’s more, through creating the video, the church demonstrates that it not only has an active community but also that it is trying to be relevant by reaching out to people through social media. And finding creative methods for outreach is important in an increasingly secularized country.

In the video’s comments, one user congratulated Rev. Arthur Young for bringing St. Paul’s “back to life.” Another said, “This church certainly isn’t dead,” while another person commented, “We need to see more churches doing things like this—makes me want to be a part of your fellowship!!”

When instituted as the new rector at St. Paul’s in the fall of 2016, Young told the Diocesan News, “God has opened the door to me to move back north and I feel that the time is right… My heart is for the people and for sharing the good news of Jesus with them, and for pastoring and caring. That is what I will continue to do at St Paul’s.”

You can watch St. Paul’s video here.

In the Most Diverse U.S. Congress to Date, Christians Still Majority

By

Stephanie Martin

-

January 3, 2019

Despite some increased religious diversity, the 116^th Congress that was sworn in on Thursday remains predominantly Christian—at rates higher than that of the general U.S. population. By analyzing self-reported data, Pew Research Center found that 88 percent of Congress members are Christian, compared to 91 percent in the previous Congress. In the general public, by comparison, 71 percent of American adults say they’re Christian.

Pew summarizes: “While the number of self-identified Christians in Congress has ticked down, Christians as a whole—and especially Protestants and Catholics—are still over-represented in proportion to their share in the general public. Indeed, the religious makeup of the new 116^th Congress is very different from that of the U.S. population.”

Out of the 11 congresses for which Pew has collected faith-related data, the 116^th has the fewest Christians (471) and the fewest Protestants (293). For its purposes, Pew categorizes Protestants, Catholics, Mormons, Christian Scientists and other groups as Christians.

Diversity Emerges in 116th Congress, Especially Among Democrats

Of the 253 Republican members of Congress, only two don’t identify as Christians; both are Jewish. But of the 281 Democratic members, 61 don’t identify as Christians. Of those, 32 are Jewish, 18 didn’t specify a religion, three are Hindus, three are Muslims (including the first two Muslim women in Congress), two are Buddhists, two are Unitarian Universalists, and one is religiously unaffiliated.

Pew notes: “By far, the largest difference between the U.S. public and Congress is in the share who are unaffiliated with a religious group.” Only Sen. Kyrsten Sinema, D-Ariz., identifies as religiously unaffiliated, yet 23 percent of the general public identify as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular.” (Sinema, 42, also is the first openly bisexual Congress member.)

Rep. Jared Huffman, D-Calif., one of the 18 Democrats who didn’t specify a religion, says he’s a humanist and not sure God exists.

Still, “Christians remain over-represented in both parties’ congressional delegations compared with their coalitions in the general public,” Pew states. In Congress, 78 percent of Democrats are Christians, while among the general public 57 percent of registered Democrats are Christians. And 99 percent of Congressional Republicans are Christians, while among the general public 82 percent of registered Republicans are Christians.

Data wasn’t included for North Carolina’s 9^th District, where allegations of election fraud have kept results from being certified. The Republican candidate, Mark Harris, is a Southern Baptist pastor.

Additional Findings About Congress Members’ Faith

According to Pew, most Christians in Congress are Protestants. Those include 72 Baptists, 42 Methodists, and 26 each of Anglicans/Episcopalians, Lutherans and Presbyterians. Of the 534 members of Congress, 163 (or 30 percent) are Catholics; that’s down five members from the previous Congress.

Among Protestants, the largest gain is in Congress members who didn’t specify a denomination. One Protestant group that’s under-represented is Pentecostals, with just 0.4 percent of Congress but 5 percent of the general public.

Six percent of Congress members are Jewish, though just 2 percent of the general population adheres to that faith.

Only 10 members of Congress (1.9 percent) are Mormon, “a low over the last six congresses,” notes Pew. Among the general public, 2 percent of Americans are Mormon. Prominent Utah Republican Senator—and 2012 presidential candidate—Mitt Romney was recently critical of President Trump’s character.

5 Positive Insights to Help You Lead Negative People

By

Dan Reiland

-

January 2, 2019

We are called to love and lead everyone who is part of the church even negative people.

But some who attend your church are easier to lead than others. Right?

Those who love the vision, are positive and want what’s best for the big picture are easier to lead. That doesn’t mean there are no disagreements along the way, that’s natural, but vision overrides opinion and progress wins the day.

In contrast, some of the most difficult to lead are those who are negative people.

They focus on problems but not solutions, consistently resist change, and question everything. Questions are good, but their questions are critical, not constructive. And their cup is half empty no matter how much you pour in.

Even though they are negative, we must genuinely love each one, and leading a negative person requires maturity and experience. Without this experience, they can wear you out and discourage you.

I was recently talking with someone new to the church and asked them why they left their previous church. They launched into an exhaustive list of all that’s “wrong” with their former church and how ineffective the leadership is, and I had to cut them off. I became concerned that they may not be happy here either. Yet, they are welcome. So, how to lead someone like that is an important skill.

That person may represent an extreme case, but the insights and principles are the same.

The encouraging thing is that like positivity, negativity is a choice. That means a negative person is not destined to remain negative because of their personality, wiring, DNA or upbringing.

One of the most significant resources you have as a spiritual leader is the power of the Holy Spirit to help a person change from negative to positive. If they’re genuinely stuck, meaning they want to change but are having trouble becoming more positive, there is much hope. The wonderful news is that they have access to the same power.

The following insights will be helpful to you as you lead those who have or lean toward a negative disposition.

5 positive insights to help you lead negative people:

1) Treat them with kindness.

Sometimes negative people can get on your nerves. You’re trying to move the vision forward, and they seem to want to shut things down and drag you into long and unproductive conversations. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes they want to move forward but don’t see that they’re negative.

How to Make Time for the Bible in a Busy Family

By

Jenny Funderburke Smith

-

January 2, 2019

I have three girls—ages 12, 10 and 5. This fall all three were in a sport. The oldest made a high school JV volleyball team, the middle child is obsessed with softball, and the baby finally got to start t-ball. Between practices, games, homework and church we are constantly on the go. When you add in the fact that we are a blended family and my kids spend several hours a week in another home, free time has been sparse.

In this craziness, I felt a strong conviction that I wasn’t making time for devotional time with them. I believe strongly in spending time as a family looking at God’s word and praying together. Family worship is a great concept, but man, is it hard to pull off when schedules are non-stop. I recognize that some families choose not to be involved in extracurricular activities, and I fully agree with keeping life simple. However, my very sporty, very sociable girls need an outlet outside of school and many times those sports fields and bleachers end up being our local mission field.

I had a choice to make. I could either keep lamenting that we didn’t have time or I could be intentional about making opportunities. I decided to evaluate where in our lives we were consistently in one place and sitting still. I quickly realized that I personally am on some level of flustered from wake up time until everyone actually gets out the door with all of the things they need. I didn’t do a great job of focusing my own attention on anything, much less the kids.

Dinnertime and bedtime seems like viable options on the surface. Dinner is a little sporadic based on game schedules and quite honestly, by bedtime we are all just ready to be done.

Then I had an a-ha moment. I realized that every morning I have all of the children in the car, strapped in, with no escapes and relative few distractions. I declared that our drive to school would be our family devotional time. We keep it simple. We read either a chapter or half of a chapter of Scripture. We pick a book and walk our way through it. Last spring we made it through most of the epistles. We just finished Proverbs and started Esther this week. I ask each kid to share what they heard, what jumped out to them, or what was most interesting to them. I try to point each passage toward the gospel. I throw in theology or encouragement as it applies, and encourage them to think about how God wants to use that passage in their life that day. We all pray. Sometimes we finish the ride with worship music.

Some days are deep and meaningful and beautiful. Some days we just get through it in the midst of breaking up arguments.

How to Make Time for the Bible in a Busy Family

Just do something. It is so easy for me to just feel bad and wish I was more consistent, more devoted, more fill-in-the-blank. If this is an area your family needs to work on, just figure out a small step. I sometimes get paralyzed by trying to make everything perfectly structured.
Fight discouragement. There are days that are particularly rough getting out the door. I am tempted to skip our devotional time for the day because I don’t really want to speak to anyone in the car. But I say through gritted teeth, “Who is reading our passage today?” I don’t need to paint the picture for my kids that time with God is only for when we have our act together. We need it most on the days when we are gritting our teeth.
It won’t be perfect. The days are rare that all conversation is free of preteen sass, kindergarten whines or sibling squabbles. That’s OK. We are still talking about God’s word. We are still leaning into God and He promises that His word doesn’t return void.
Figure out what works for your family. My plan may not work for everyone. That’s OK. But something will. Figure out what works for your people in this season.
Consistency and authenticity matter. Consistency means conversations will pop up you never envisioned. That’s such a good thing. Consistency means your kids have a part of their day that is dependable and focused on the Lord. You might be helping develop a habit in them (and yourself) that will forever influence their spiritual life. When authenticity corresponds with that consistency, kids get to see that our walk with God is not dependent on how we feel or what happened on the way out the door. You don’t have to be the super theologian who knows all the answers. Just be real. If you don’t know something, work together to look it up. There are also some great resources out there. Two I’ve started utilizing this year are Family Worship Bible Guide and Cornerstones.

My prayer for you is that if busy-ness has kept you feeling guilty for not spending time in the Bible with your kids, you will be encouraged that it is worth it to fight to make a plan. Start small. Start simple. Don’t set high expectations that will be hard to achieve. But do it. Give your kids (and yourself) the gift of consistently walking together through God’s Word.

This article originally appeared here.

One of the Most Dangerous Phrases Used in Parenting

By

Andrew Linder

-

January 2, 2019

There’s a phrase that can be heard almost anywhere at anytime where parents and children are present, if you’ll listen for it. And it’s one of the most dangerous phrases used in parenting.

In general, the scenario goes like this: Johnny does something that he either knows is against the rules or something that his parents don’t approve of, and mom’s or dad’s first trigger response is to (almost like a gag reflex) throw out the “ threat phrase”…

Can you guess what it is?

It’s one of the most dangerous, yet commonly used, phrases in parenting, and it’s this: “If you do that again…”

Have you noticed? Nearly every parent is doing it. Threatening their child with some consequence “if they do it again.” (As if they’re challenging their child to test them to see what happens, and that’s usually exactly what the child does.)

I’m amazed at how often I hear parents use this phrase, and surprised at how I’ve even caught myself or my wife using it on occasion as well.

Sadly, it’s almost as if many parents have been subconsciously trained to respond in this singular way to their child’s misbehavior—to whip out the “threat phrase.”

There are two main problems with using this threat phrase:

1) Parents usually use the threat phrase as an alternative to actually enforcing any consequence at all.

Sadly, this approach to parenting does no favors for anyone, whether parent or child, but instead simply salves the conscience of parents to think that they’re being ‘big and bad’ when in reality, they’re doing nothing.

Also, it’s causing kids to realize that they can intentionally do wrong, knowing that they’ll not be disciplined without first being given a warning with the threat phrase. This is potentially very dangerous in any family, laying the early groundwork of parental inconsistency in our child’s heart and mind.

Another huge problem with the threat phrase is this:

2) Kids have been programmed to know by previous instances that the threat phrase is nothing more than clouds without rain.

One of the major problems with using the threat phrase as a parenting philosophy is this: In most cases (as far as I’ve seen), very rarely does a parent follow through with the stated consequence.

“If a parent is not willing to expect immediate obedience, they’re probably also not going to enforce immediate consequences.”

How many times have we heard parents use the threat phrase by saying something like this, “If you do _______ again, you’re going to get a _______,” or “If you don’t stop ________, you’re not going to get to _________.” But less than five minutes later, the child does the exact same thing, and the parent says the exact same threat, just a little bit louder, but with no enforced consequence.

The Six Count: The Astonishing Yet Simple Secret to Leading Phenomenal Discussions

By

Micah Odor

-

January 2, 2019

The Six Count: The Astonishing Yet Simple Secret to Leading Phenomenal Discussions

I’ve been leading small groups and small group leaders nonstop for more than 20 years. In that time, I think I’ve made almost every mistake you can make leading a small group. My biggest weakness? I talk too much. Here’s a simple trick that’s helped me a lot in terms of leading phenomenal discussions…I hope it’s helpful for you, too.

It’s important to ask good, open-ended questions. Nobody will discuss something that can be answered by a yes or no. If they can raise their hand and answer “Jesus” or “the Bible,” your questions need some work. But even with good questions, sometimes it’s hard to get the group to engage.

For most group leaders, there’s nothing worse than an awkward silence. We ask a question, we wait on pins and needles for someone to answer, and the longer we wait the more uncomfortable we get. Eventually we answer our own question “just to keep the conversation moving.” We think that by going first and modeling a good answer, we can get the rest of the group to follow us. Sometimes this works, but often (usually) it just teaches the group to wait for your answer.

Here’s what I tell my small group leaders:

After you ask a question, don’t say a word until you’ve (silently) counted to six.

If you’re leading a group, you have to remember that most of the people in the group are far less worried about the silence than you are. For you, silence feels like failure. For them, silence is the time that they’re using to process your question. I’ve seen many group leaders that get uncomfortable after four seconds; some after just two. When I asked them how long they gave their group before they broke up the silence, most of them had no idea. But on average, people need at least six seconds to process a question and come up with a good answer.

I mean this very literally: If you’re the type that answers your own questions, don’t do it until you’ve said to yourself “One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four, one thousand five, one thousand six.” But what if they don’t answer by then?

If you don’t get an answer in six seconds, try to rephrase, redirect or retreat.

Judge your response by body language. If people look puzzled, maybe the question wasn’t clear. Try to rephrase the question; use different words to ask the same thing. “Let me ask it a different way…”

If people won’t meet your eye, then maybe they don’t want to go first. Redirect the conversation by steering away from a question to the group and direct it instead toward a specific person. Try to pick someone who won’t hate you, of course, but gently drawing people out doesn’t have to be dramatic. Often someone who’s nervous talking to “the group” will be far more comfortable talking directly to you.

If all else fails, retreat. Don’t double down on a bad situation. If the group is completely unwilling to engage, you need to move back a few steps and break some more ice. Spend some more time on story-telling and affirmation first! But that’s a topic for a different post. The Six Count: The Astonishing Yet Simple Secret to Leading Phenomenal Discussions

Less Than Holy Matrimony

By

James Emery White

-

January 2, 2019

From churches to barns.

From minister officiants to mail-order-credentialed friends.

From “until death do us part” to “here’s to my best friend.”

The New York Times recently reported that it’s a new day for weddings. They’ve been moved from sacred settings to the most secular locations possible; pastors/ministers are no longer desired to officiate, replaced by a friend who has an outgoing personality; and vows are no longer prescribed, but created.

Welcome to the shift from matrimony to marriage.

Marriage has become a social construct and, as such, something we can define for ourselves by voting on one definition or another. It’s become a legal matter, a tax issue, a question for courts to manage—who gets benefits, who gets recognized, what gets accepted. But when we bracket off marriage as a legal term and talk about marriage as a biblical idea, then we move from marriage to holy matrimony. And holy matrimony is not something plastic that we can simply shape to our desires.

There are four foundational truths the Bible teaches about true marriage.

The first is that marriage is the first and most foundational of all institutions (Gen. 2:21-24). Marriage was ordained by God and set apart by God—before children, before the family, before government, even before the church—at the very onset of creation.

Second, marriage best describes and depicts the supernatural union between Jesus and the church. We were created to be in relationship with Him, and He’s done everything He can to reach out. When somebody comes to Christ, what could possibly be holy enough, special enough, sacred enough, honored enough, to capture the love dynamic between Christ and those who have come to Him as Leader and Forgiver, Savior and Lord? What could describe His love that would die for us, and our love that would repent and return to Him? Only marriage (Eph. 5:23-32). Just as the two become one through earthly marriage, we become one with Christ through a spiritual, eternal marriage.

A third truth about marriage in the Bible is that marriage is the event that God has selected to consummate all of time (Rev. 19:1-7). At the end of all time, when the final chapter on this life is closed and the first chapter of eternity is opened, at the grand moment when those in Christ are united with Christ to enter into heaven, it is not going to be done through a coronation. It will not be done through a graduation. It will not be done by an installation, inauguration or initiation. It will be done through a wedding.

The final truth about marriage flows from the first three—that marriage is to be held in the highest honor (Heb. 13:4).

This is not written to enter into the larger cultural debate about who should be allowed to be married, as holy matrimony has little to do with civil unions. This is about those who consider themselves Christ followers and where they should stand in relation to the biblical idea of marriage. And it is about the slippery slope of increasingly submitting not simply their wedding, but the very idea of marriage, to the secular, individualistic mindset so prevalent in our world.

It’s about the bride who petulantly and defiantly says, “This is MY wedding!” and then proceeds to dictate every moment as if the act itself is a matter of personal self-fulfillment, akin to a birthday party or vacation. In truth, it is her wedding only in the sense that she is the one engaging it to enter into holy matrimony. As such, it should be less what she imagines, and more what she embraces.

So have your wedding in a barn. It’s the current “thing.” Just make sure the barn doesn’t become reflective of assuming that the wedding itself is whatever you want it to be. Whether a barn or a sanctuary, you are standing on holy ground and submitting to a God-ordained institution.

At least, that is, if you are entering into holy matrimony and not simply marriage.

This article originally appeared here.

5 Ways to Preach Like a Pharisee

By

Brandon Cox

-

January 2, 2019

Want to know the 5 ways to preach like a Pharisee? Read on.

Many of the Pharisees were probably great teachers and skilled speakers. I’m sure many were charismatic, skilled communicators. But by the time Jesus arrived on the scene, the Pharisees, on the whole, were killing the culture around them spiritually. Jesus had a lot of work to do just to unwire people from the performance-driven, legalistic trap of pharisaism.

I’ve been guilty of preaching like a Pharisee before, and as I review my sermons from the past, I cringe a bit as I peruse certain periods of my ministry when I placed undue burdens on my listeners in the name of “preaching the Word.” I’m writing out of my own past tendencies (and present tendencies I’m still trying to snuff out) as well as out of what I observe across the landscape of evangelical preaching.

The following tips will work to draw a moderate-sized crowd. A pulpit characterized by negativity and belligerence will draw a moderate-sized crowd of masochists who draw energy to go on another day by being beaten up spiritually. But it won’t make Jesus-like, craveable disciples. So use them at your own risk.

How do you preach like a Pharisee?

Preach Like a Pharisee by Preaching Your Opinions Instead of the Absolute Truth of Scripture

Exalting your own opinions about extra-biblical issues as though obedience to them is equivalent to obeying Scripture is dangerous. It creates the very burdens on the backs of people that Jesus came to remove. It also hurts the trust of your hearers. Consider my hero W.A. Criswell, who once promoted segregation as a biblical mandate only to repent and change his policy later.

His opinion about a cultural issue caused many to question his credibility. Thankfully, he had such a high respect for the authority of Scripture that he changed course, publicly and with apology. Besides, you’re probably wrong more than you think you are.

Preach Like a Pharisee by Promoting Moralism Over Grace-based Living

Your role is to present biblical truth, allowing the Holy Spirit to transform the lives of your hearers with the power of God’s revelation. Your role is not to make people behave. Repentance has to do with changing the mind and belief system so that behaviors follow, but when we promote better behavior, we put the cart before the horse and fail to exalt the grace that enables us to live differently.

Preach Like a Pharisee by Making People Feel Guilty Enough to Make Short-term Commitments

Guilt is a terrible motivator. Yes, we sinners must come to grips with our sin by means of the conviction of the Holy Spirit, but it is the Holy Spirit’s job to bring that conviction. I can get people to give more money, sign up to serve in a ministry, or go share the gospel by making them feel guilty about not giving or doing enough. Or I can empower them to give, serve and share by inspiring them with hope.

God dangles rewards in front of us in eternity as motivation for action rather than feelings of guilt over our sinful past. I owe Him everything, but He doesn’t remind me of that. He simply challenges me to go forward in hope and for the pure enjoyment of Him and His grace.

Preach Like a Pharisee by Beating People Into Skepticism

Jesus once told the Pharisees that they had a tendency to make people “twice the child of hell as they were before.” What did He mean? People had come to the Pharisees, as religious leaders, to find the ultimate fulfillment God could offer. What they received was a long list of rules that were impossible to keep.

After their repeated failures, they would finally turn away in disgust and it would be a long time before they listened to another religious leader again. Sound familiar? My heart breaks for the victims of spiritually abusive churches that have little understanding or compassion for the hurts and problems of people in pain.

Preach Like a Pharisee by Dressing the Part

If you wear a three-piece suit and cuff links because you’re into that sort of thing or because it appeals to the community you’re trying to reach, more power to you. But if you just like to wear the “preacher” uniform and appear lofty and ministerial, repent now. I get a bit nauseated when I see a leader who has that “preacher strut.” I won’t describe it—you’ll know it when you see it. It’s usually the result of my desire to impress my peers outweighing my desire to connect with the lost. This is not a rant against “dressing up.” It’s just a warning against trying to “dress the part” of the superior religious leader.

More than ever, a skeptical, broken world needs our authentic, truth-saturated, grace-based, Spirit-filled message of the cross and the resurrection. And they need to see it embodied in our lives as much as they need to hear it proclaimed from the podium.

Falwell Reasons It’s Not Hypocritical to Support Trump

By

Jessica Lea

-

January 2, 2019

In a recent interview with The Washington Post, Jerry Falwell Jr. explained why he persists in supporting President Trump, despite behavior that many would argue directly opposes the teachings of Christianity. Falwell is the president of Liberty University, a conservative Christian college in Lynchburg, Virginia. He also explained why many evangelicals support Trump.

When asked why he and other Christian evangelicals stand behind Trump, Falwell responded,

What earns him my support is his business acumen. Our country was so deep in debt and so mismanaged by career politicians that we needed someone who was not a career politician, but someone who’d been successful in business to run the country like a business. That’s the reason I supported him.

Choosing Our Leaders

Falwell’s philosophy regarding what to look for in a political leader is key to understanding why he is unwavering in his support of Trump. Falwell believes that the commands Jesus gave his followers were personal commands for them and not ones people should impose on a nation or system of government: “It’s such a distortion of the teachings of Jesus to say that what he taught us to do personally—to love our neighbors as ourselves, help the poor—can somehow be imputed on a nation. Jesus never told Caesar how to run Rome.”

Falwell distinguishes between what he calls the “earthly kingdom” and the “heavenly kingdom.” Jesus’ teachings exemplify the heavenly kingdom, but to expect a government to follow those teachings is to expect that government to act like a theocracy. Instead, religion should be separate from the government, and “the government should be led by somebody who is going to do what’s in the best interest of the government and its people.”

Another reason Falwell is willing to back Trump without feeling hypocritical is because he believes all people have some moral failures and it’s not possible to know every single flaw people have before electing them. Falwell reasons that if we choose leaders based on how good we think they are, it’s possible we’ll eventually find out about something immoral in their lives, thus negating our reasons for voting for them. “So you don’t choose a president based on how good they are,” he says, “you choose a president based on what their policies are.”

According to Falwell’s reasoning, it follows that there is no inconsistency involved in a Christian supporting someone who lies and commits adultery. In fact, Falwell argues that, far from being immoral, it’s actually moral to support Trump because the president has brought his business savvy to how he runs the government and has increased jobs for minorities.

Religious Divide

This way of thinking might explain why a majority of white evangelical Christians still back Trump, despite the controversies that surround him. According to a study from the Public Religion Research Institute, 72 percent of white evangelical Protestants approve of Trump. In contrast, other religious and ethnic demographics either see him negatively or are more evenly divided.

Not all white evangelicals support Trump, of course, and even those who do don’t necessarily agree with everything he does. In fact, some evangelical leaders have voiced criticism of the candidate-turned-president and have been on the receiving end of Trump’s ire. But evangelical support for Trump is strong overall. For those who have wondered if there is anything that Trump could do to alienate this particular base, the answer seems to be no. That was the answer that Falwell gave to The Washington Post. He says this because, “I know that he only wants what’s best for this country, and I know anything he does, it may not be ideologically ‘conservative,’ but it’s going to be what’s best for this country.”

Evangelicals Visit Saudi Prince as ‘Ambassadors for Christ’

By

Stephanie Martin

-

January 2, 2019

Groups of evangelical Christian leaders have recently made groundbreaking trips to Saudi Arabia and other Middle Eastern countries. While attendees say they’re encouraging religious freedom and building relationships, critics say the visitors are trying to open doors for Christian missionaries and should address human-rights issues instead.

In November, a delegation of evangelical Christians met in Riyadh with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman and other officials. Participants included author Joel Rosenberg, former congresswoman Michele Bachmann, former Christian Broadcasting Network head Michael Little, and leaders of other evangelical organizations, including some with ties to Israel.

Delegates Aim to “Lift Up the Name of Jesus”

The group called the Saudi meeting “a historic moment,” saying it was “encouraged by the candor” of the Crown Prince. “As evangelicals, it is our desire to lift up the name of Jesus whenever we are asked and wherever we go,” delegates said in a statement.

Jerry Johnson, president of the National Religious Broadcasters, says delegates were serving as “ambassadors for Christ,” not as representatives of the United States.

Johnnie Moore, a member of the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom, says the trip wasn’t coordinated by the White House and the group wasn’t representing Israel. Instead, it was “the latest in a series of relationship-building exercises” that are taking the “long view.” The goal, Moore says, is religious pluralism in the Middle East, “like when the Prophet Muhammad himself was alive.”

The faith of Muslims he met impressed Moore. “I believe what the New Testament says, Jesus is my Savior, but every time an imam or a leader of a Muslim nation…[begins] a speech and they say, ‘In the name of God, the compassionate and the merciful,’ that speaks to me.”

Saudi Arabia bans the practice of non-Muslim religions but is working to portray itself as more open and tolerant. The kingdom doesn’t recognize Israel—a nation holding special significance for many evangelicals.

Human Rights and Religious Rights in Saudi Arabia

John Fea, history professor and evangelical Christian, says delegates should tackle human-rights concerns, such as the Saudi-led war in Yemen. “These pro-Trump evangelicals tend to see religious freedom as more important than these other injustices,” Fea says.

Delegates, however, say their first question to Saudi’s Crown Prince referenced the murder of journalist Jamal Kashoggi. “While the Kingdom is restrictive and controversial in various and serious respects, it has under the Crown Prince begun to undergo reform and professed the desire to change in profound ways,” the group stated.

When evangelical leaders visited the United Arab Emirates in October, Family Research Council President Tony Perkins commented on the “powerful faith” of Christians there. “The UAE is pursuing a path of religious tolerance and peace that I pray other countries in the region would follow,” he said.

Middle East expert Joel Rosenberg says delegates found in the UAE “an extraordinary story that’s almost a hidden treasure of moderation, of resistance to radical Islamism to wanting a close relationship with the United States and freedom of worship for Christians.”

Delegate Larry Ross, a PR expert who was Billy Graham’s longtime spokesperson, compares evangelicals’ efforts to Graham’s international work: “He didn’t preach; he didn’t proselytize. He just loved them.”

Matthew Kim: Considering Your Congregation When You Preach

By

Jason Daye

-

January 2, 2019

Dr. Matthew Kim is associate professor of preaching and ministry at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Dr. Kim preaches regularly in churches across New England, and he previously served as senior pastor of Logos Central Chapel in Denver, Colorado. He is the author of several books, including Preaching With Cultural Intelligence. Dr. Kim and his wife, Sarah, have three children.

Key Questions for Matthew Kim

How do you recommend preachers approach the text, knowing they have a personal theological bent?

Because of the rapidly-changing nature of our culture, do you think pastors need to pay greater attention to cultural intelligence?

Key Quotes from Matthew Kim

“Every person has a theological lens by which we read Scripture.”

“How might someone who’s from a different ethnic or cultural context…reading the text? What kinds of questions do they have that I might not raise as a Korean-American preacher?”

“As you look at different preaching textbooks, either they’re really good about interpreting the text and offer very little about culture and vice versa.”

“How are they thinking of me as the preacher and how can I establish rapport with them?”

“Sometimes we have a negative view of dreams, in terms of ‘what do I want to do, what do I want to be?’, but as we think about preaching, one of the things we’re trying to do is disciple [people]…Dreams is really giving them a vision for what their life could be like in Christ as they pursue this passage and live it out to the fullest.”

“If you have a very diverse church, think through the people you want to focus on today and move on to the next person every single week. Don’t get overwhelmed by the 100 or 200 different types of people.”

“Think about the diversity in your church. It’s not just racially or ethnically, there are many different cultures and cultural perspectives people are coming from, whether it’s political or even, for instance, male preachers preaching to women.”

“Intelligence of culture goes beyond just physical appearance. There are many different areas of culture that we need to consider as pastors.”

Mentioned in the Show:

Preaching With Cultural Intelligence
Biblical Preaching by Haddon Robinson
Christ-Centered Preaching by Bryan Chapell
Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary
mkim@gcts.edu

The Sunday Need

By

Jared C. Wilson

-

January 1, 2019

A word to my brother-pastors, who every week labor in preparing to teach the Bible in the weekend gathering while the dark cloud of the new cultural downgrade hangs over them:

What They Need on Sundays

Brothers, let’s not go about our weekly sermon preparation and personal discipleship in sackcloth and ashes. Let’s get into the vineyard of God’s word, get some holy sweat worked up, whistling while we work, lifting our hearts in worship. Let’s get into the kitchen of study and prep and start putting together the banquet. And come Sunday let’s spread the feast out rich and sumptuous, beckoning our people to taste and see that the Lord is good. They don’t need our doomsdaying or dimbulbing. Still less do they need our shallow pick-me-ups and spitpolished legalism. Like our brother Wesley, let us set ourselves on fire with gospel truth that our church families might come watch us burn.

And when we gather Sunday with the saints, let us shepherd them to repentance and sincerity, reminding them of the holy God who welcomes them with sin-forgetting forgiveness. When we enter the worship gathering, let us not look back to the ruins lest we all become the wrong kind of salt. Let us look forward to the new Jerusalem, where our citizenship is secured even today and evermore. Let’s get our wits about us and take heart together, for our Lord has overcome the world. Yesterday, today, Sunday and forever. Let us frighten the kings of the world and shake the kingdom of the devil with how resolute we are in abandoning ourselves to the mighty God.

Our churches don’t need our hand-wringing but our hand-raising. They need our deep, abiding, all-conquering, sin-despairing gospel joy. This and this alone is the hope of the world.

This article originally appeared here.

Adjust Your Lens—Seeing Your Ministry From a New Family Perspective

By

Gina McClain

-

January 1, 2019

Over the past four weeks I’ve visited four different churches. Each church dramatically different from the other in terms of environment, community and worship style. And yet there were consistencies that were very helpful/impactful to my first-time attending family.

Here are some notables from a few of the churches:

Directional Signage! Once we walked in the building it was obvious where to go to check in kids. The signage was eye-catching and the check-in space easily accessible.
Security! It is obvious how much a kids ministry values security when they employ a nametag policy—only allowing access to certain areas of the kids’ space to those wearing parent receipts or volunteer nametags.
Environments! I’ve seen some spaces that look nothing like school, daycare or home. I love seeing the many ways creativity is employed to make a space unique for kids. Don’t forget to get on your knees and look at your space from their perspective. What would you add…or change?

And a few things to check into:

Human Signage – In one church the layout was so odd that we walked down a hallway that wraps around the main auditorium. We walked for a few minutes without encountering a person or open kids room. I almost thought we were headed the wrong direction. Some ‘Human Signage’ would have been highly beneficial. A quick smile, friendly greeting, handshake or just general availability to assure us we’re headed in the right direction. Many times we can’t do anything about our physical space. So we find creative ways to accommodate. Employing some of those volunteers that are natural “huggers and shakers” can go a long way toward resolving the quirky facility challenges.

Inviting Entries! Wish I could come up with better verbage for this, but it’s late.
It boils down to asking yourself…are my rooms inviting from the threshold? What entices a kid to want to enter the room? What tells them that if they don’t cross that threshold, they’re missing something B-I-G? I think I’m guilty of assuming that the fun things in my elementary space would entice any kid. I’ve been reminded that if they can’t see it from where they stand on the other side of the door…they may never know what they’re missing. It doesn’t have to be boisterous, or loud, or obnoxious. In fact, it’s better if it isn’t. It just has to be enticing.
Opportune Moments! One church we visited forced the parents to stand in the lobby while they’re child is called downstairs from the kids space. Though the process was fairly efficient, they missed an opportunity to communicate in a unique way. As the parents stood in line a flat screen television hanging on the wall in front of them sat completely blank. What information regarding your ministry would you love to communicate in that two- to three-minute time frame? Companies pay big bucks for a 30-second commercial before a captive audience. This church had 180 seconds. Missed opportunity.

One of the best things to do for your ministry is to adjust your lens and view it from a completely different perspective…a new family perspective. Put it on your calendar and make it a priority at least two times a year. Walk through your space…entrance to exit…and ask yourself, “If I were a new family, would I know where to go, what to do or what to say?”

This article originally appeared here.

5 Ways to Gracefully Say No

By

Charles Stone

-

January 1, 2019

As a pastor, I’m constantly faced with more time demands placed upon me than I could ever possibly fulfill. As a result, I must make choices. Those demands sometimes are self-imposed (totally my choice) and sometimes they come from others. Often people in the church will ask pastors to do something that takes their time or they want to meet with them on some issue. In many cases we know deep inside that we should respond with a “No.” However, because we don’t want to disappoint, we often say, “Yes,” and later regret it. In this post I suggest five ways to gracefully say “No.”

How to Gracefully Say “No.”

Say “No” without using the word “No.”
- In some settings the word no itself can come across too harsh. Sometimes using other phrases like these can soften your response and yet still convey a no.
  - “My schedule simply won’t permit it now. I don’t have the bandwidth. Thanks for thinking about me though.”
  - “I’d love to, but right now I can’t. Can you ask me again next week (or whatever timeframe seems appropriate)?”
  - “I’m sorry but it won’t work now.”
Pause a few seconds before giving an answer to someone.
- Because we don’t want to disappoint people, we often allow our default response to be yes. To avoid this, learn to pause a few seconds before responding to someone who asks you for a commitment. That short pause will buy you some time to frame your response, whether it is a yes or a no. Pausing can also give you time to consider what you’d have to give up were you to say yes.
Delay your response when you honestly aren’t sure how to respond.
- Sometimes the ask is a valid one and you should give more time before making a decision. In that case, tell the person that you can’t give him a decision now but that would like to check your calendar and think more about it. If it does become a no you will have created sufficient time to consider the pros and cons and then to frame a gracious no. And if a boss asks you for something that will cause you to push other important projects aside, explain the situation and your willingness to say yes. Then ask for his or her advice on how to re-prioritize your current commitments so that you can follow through on your yes.
Ask them to email you with their request.
- I’ve found that when someone wants me to make a decision on the spot, putting the onus back on him or her potentially creates a default no. I will often ask them to email me their request. Often they never do, which becomes the default no.
Simply and kindly say “No” and if possible explain why.
- Sometimes you immediately know you should say no. In that case, a firm but gracious no is appropriate. It may feel awkward, but that uncomfortable emotion will quickly pass. However, if you say yes when you should have said no, the feelings of regret last much longer and take a much greater toll, notwithstanding the extra time you’ve now committed yourself to.

Some time back I read the book by Greg McKeown Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. I highly recommend it. In a chapter where he writes about saying no, he describes how Peter Drucker once said no. It’s a great example of the graceful no. I’ve quoted it here.

Peter Drucker, in my view the father of modern management thinking, was also a master of the art of the graceful no. When Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the Hungarian professor most well known for his work on “flow,” reached out to interview a series of creative individuals for a book he was writing on creativity, Drucker’s response was interesting enough to Mihaly that he quoted it verbatim: “I am greatly honored and flattered by your kind letter of February 14th—for I have admired you and your work for many years, and I have learned much from it. But, my dear Professor Csikszentmihalyi, I am afraid I have to disappoint you. I could not possibly answer your questions. I am told I am creative—I don’t know what that means…I just keep on plodding.… I hope you will not think me presumptuous or rude if I say that one of the secrets of productivity (in which I believe whereas I do not believe in creativity) is to have a VERY BIG waste paper basket to take care of ALL invitations such as yours—productivity in my experience consists of NOT doing anything that helps the work of other people but to spend all one’s time on the work the Good Lord has fitted one to do, and to do well.”

A true Essentialist, Peter Drucker believed that “people are effective because they say no.”

[Mckeown, Greg (2014-04-15). Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less (pp. 135-136). Crown Religion/Business/Forum. Kindle Edition.]

What insights have you learned about giving a graceful, “No”?

Related posts:

How to Lead People Who Are Older Than You

By

Laura Owens

-

January 1, 2019

As we prepare for the next semester of small groups, I’m meeting with all of our new leaders to set them up for success. I serve as a small-group pastor, and many leaders are my peers or in a life stage or two behind me, making them ideal candidates for discipleship throughout the semester. There are several leaders, however, who are older than me, which can make me feel insecure. I have to remind myself that as their small-group director, I’m in a position to lead and care for them—even disciple them. This is where the insecurities creep in. How do you lead people who are older than you?

What if they don’t respect me? What if they don’t think I’m experienced enough to lead? What experience do I have that they don’t?! What if they refuse to listen to what I have to say? What if I don’t have the necessary experience to care for them?

Thoughts start running rampant if I’m not careful. To combat this, I remind myself of several truths:

• I’m in a position to lead for a reason.

• I have wisdom to offer.

• They have experience from which I’d love to learn.

• We’re all on the same team.

Once I’ve allowed these truths in, I’m reminded of another: You’ve done this before! Through trial, error and godly feedback, I’ve discovered a few key practices for leading and caring for those who are older than me.

Admit What You Don’t Know When Leading People Who Are Older Than You

Prior to working on staff at a church, I worked for the Department of Defense and regularly briefed high-level officials. We were taught to “acknowledge what you know, what you don’t know and what you think.” Taken from an adage of General Powell when he was Secretary of Defense, it’s a great rule of thumb to follow when working with people.

Essentially what this means is that you’re in a position to lead for a reason and have experience and knowledge to share, so do it! We gain others’ confidence when we offer our insights. You don’t know everything, however, so don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.” Better yet, say, “If you have an idea, I’d love to hear it!” We earn respect by being honest, humble and open to accepting others’ ideas.

As for the last piece of Powell’s adage, when appropriate, share with others what you think. Opinions are helpful, and when reached through prayer, time in the Word and godly counsel, they can be important to share—especially with people we’re coaching. It’s equally important, however, to acknowledge the difference between fact and opinion. We must have the maturity to admit when our thoughts are simply an opinion.

To continue developing in this area of leading people who are older than me, I have asked a select number of trusted small-group leaders to be my “report team.” I regularly ask them the following questions:

• What am I doing well?

• What could I be doing better?

• What am I not doing that I should be?

Many of those whom I’ve asked to provide these checks and balances are wiser, more experienced leaders who appreciate that I respect their insights and opinions. It’s a win-win.

As a leader, I want to position myself to learn from those who have experience in the areas I don’t. Further, when I know a leader has expertise in a particular area, I’m going to pick his or her brain to gain any knowledge I can! The lead pastor at my church regularly shares that when he was a young leader, he was a voracious reader, learning from the experience of others to make up for any lack of experience he had simply by virtue of age. I want to learn from his example.

What advice do you have for leading people who are older than you?

Here are some key examples of mental anguish and depression in the Bible, many of these will resonate with those who have suffered greatly:

This Is What True Leadership Does

Love Better

Lead Better

Pray Better

What are your Pastoral Resolutions for 2019?

A WEBSITE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH

AN ONLINE STRATEGY CHECKLIST

1. FULLY OPTIMIZE YOUR SITE

Loading Speed

2. SETUP GOOGLE ANALYTICS (AND GOOGLE ADS IF YOU CAN!)

3. DOUBLE CHECK YOUR GOOGLE BUSINESS LISTING

4. MAXIMIZE THAT SOCIAL MEDIA

Sincere Light

Diversity Emerges in 116th Congress, Especially Among Democrats

Additional Findings About Congress Members’ Faith

5 positive insights to help you lead negative people:

1) Treat them with kindness.

How to Make Time for the Bible in a Busy Family

The Six Count: The Astonishing Yet Simple Secret to Leading Phenomenal Discussions

How do you preach like a Pharisee?

Preach Like a Pharisee by Preaching Your Opinions Instead of the Absolute Truth of Scripture

Preach Like a Pharisee by Promoting Moralism Over Grace-based Living

Preach Like a Pharisee by Making People Feel Guilty Enough to Make Short-term Commitments

Preach Like a Pharisee by Beating People Into Skepticism

Preach Like a Pharisee by Dressing the Part

Choosing Our Leaders

Religious Divide

Delegates Aim to “Lift Up the Name of Jesus”

Human Rights and Religious Rights in Saudi Arabia

Key Questions for Matthew Kim

Key Quotes from Matthew Kim

Mentioned in the Show:

What They Need on Sundays

Admit What You Don’t Know When Leading People Who Are Older Than You

New Articles

New Podcasts