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High Level Leadership: 7 Things the Smartest Leaders Always Make Time For

By
Carey Nieuwhof
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

It’s difficult to find the time to do everything on your list at work, let alone in life.

And if you really drill down on it, there are at least seven things in leadership most leaders feel there will never be enough time for…unless, of course, you make it.

These also happen to be seven things all the smartest leaders always make time for.

It’s amazing to me, but when you talk to leaders who operate at the highest level, they seem to have time for exercise, family, vacation and the five other things on this list.

It’s easy to get mad at them and pretend they live in some artificial bubble, while you go back into your very real world and complain about how slammed you are.

I get it. My guess is that whenever you read this, you’re already feeling pinched for time and a bit overwhelmed.

Welcome to leadership. Welcome to life.

Before we get to the seven things smart leaders always make time for, please know that if you scroll to the bottom of the post, I have some free, practical training and resources for you that will help you boost productivity in 2019. By following the strategies I share, you’ll have time for some of these seven things, and maybe all of them.

In the meantime, if you study the differences between great leaders and poor leaders (as I outlined here), many of the best leaders are pro-active. They refuse to make excuses and they have an abundance mindset (not a ridiculous mindset, just an abundance mindset).

Another key difference is that great leaders refuse to let their days get sucked up by meeting after useless meeting, email and being pulled into other people’s urgent priorities.

If you’ve ever made it Friday and had a hard time answering the question “What did I accomplish this week?” it might be because you failed to make time for these seven things for which great leaders always make time.

So, if you really want to edge up your leadership and begin accomplishing something significant, start making time for these seven things. And remember, read through the end for some free help on freeing up the time to do exactly that.

1. INVESTING IN YOUR BEST PEOPLE

Guess who will monopolize your time if you’re not proactive?

Your most problematic people. Problem people will occupy your calendar unless you decide they won’t.

When volunteer X didn’t show up for the fifth time, most leaders will spend incredible time and effort trying to fix that. Or you’ll get yet another meeting request from person Y, who always seems to have some irresolvable crisis going on in his life.

And in the process, your best leaders will be ignored.

Your best people—the ones who show up on time, every time, prepared and ready to do an exceptional job—rarely ask to meet with you. They never call you. They never bother you.

A great leadership practice is to spend the majority of your one-on-one time with your best people.

Why?

It makes them better.

It makes you better.

It moves your mission forward faster.

And—let’s be honest—it’s not like the problem people really get better as a result of your meeting with them anyway. They continue to be problematic.

So, cut your losses and spend the bulk of your time with your best people.

2. PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE

There’s never enough time to do an awesome job planning for the future.

But if you study top performers, you realize they do something many other leaders don’t: They spend significant amounts of time working on plans for the future.

Naturally, they execute as well, but having a carefully crafted and shared mission, vision, strategy and even a set of values can guide your organization beautifully into the future.

If you don’t plan for the future, the future will simply happen to you.

If you plan for it, you’ll shape it.

When was the last time you took a full day—or even a full week—to work on the future?

No one will ever ask you to do it, they’ll just criticize you if you don’t. So do it.

3. YOUR HIGHEST VALUE PROJECTS

If you broke what you do into categories from ‘lowest value’ to ‘highest value,’ you’d learn something interesting.

You will naturally spend most of your time doing the things that provide the least value: answering email, going to meetings that went too long, didn’t need to happen or that you shouldn’t have attended, and answering questions that really didn’t move your mission forward.

Think about it this way: If you didn’t engage in any of the above for a week, what would truly be lost (other than having a full inbox to empty?).

But you also do things that provide exceptionally high value. While it will vary from leader to leader, for me, those things would be creating great sermon series, setting objectives for the months and years ahead and ensuring our senior leaders are healthy and on-mission. I know when I do those things well, our church does best.

In my personal time, I blog, podcast and write. Recently, I’ve cut back on the number of original blog posts I’m writing so I can focus on launching my new book, Didn’t See It Coming. The decision was simple. Something had to give, and I believe a well-written book has the potential to help many more leaders over a longer window of time than a 1,200 word blog post.

If you consistently spend time on high-value projects, you will have a far greater legacy as a leader than leaders who don’t.

So what’s the greatest value you bring to your organization? Budget significant time for that.

4. EXERCISE

I avoided this for too long in my leadership. For the first decade in my time in leadership, I hardly exercised.

Ironically, I worked more hours and got less done.

While I’m not perfect in my exercise routine, exercise has been a bigger part of my life in the last five years than at any other point. So has proper sleep (see point 5, below).

Perhaps not coincidentally, in the window in which I’ve exercised the most and slept the best, our church has grown to the largest it’s ever been. I’ve also written three books, launched this blog and launched a leadership podcast.

This may not be a coincidence.

You’ll make time to go to the doctor if you suffer from obesity, diabetes or heart disease. So why not make time for exercise instead?

5. ADEQUATE SLEEP

In the ’80s and ’90s leaders used to brag about how little sleep they got.

I bought that line of thinking until it almost killed me.

Chronic lack of sleep was a major factor in the personal burnout I went through almost a decade ago (I outline seven painful truths about burnout and leadership here).

Today, I don’t cheat sleep anymore. In fact, I believe getting a full night’s sleep and even taking naps is a secret weapon most leaders miss.

You think more clearly and are simply nicer to be around when you’re rested. Everyone is. And those are two key characteristics of effective leaders.

Everyone will ask you to stay up later to get things done.

Don’t.

Go to bed on time. You’ll actually get more done—refreshed and alive in the morning.

6. FAMILY

Everyone wants you to have a great family life as a leader, but then they’ll ask you to please attend their event next Saturday (which happens to be your family day).

What do you do?

Too many leaders cave and say yes to the event.

Every time you say yes to an event on your day off, you’re saying no to your family.

Every time you say yes to an evening out, you’re saying no to your family.

Every time you say yes to a project you can’t adequately manage, you’re saying no to your family.

Two things can help with this.

First, pre-determine what your family time will be. Then, when people ask you whether you’re free, you can simply say, “I’m sorry, I have a commitment.” If all you have is a blank space in your calendar, you’ll end up saying yes. So write “FAMILY” into your calendar as a commitment.

Second, you need to learn how to say no nicely. I show you why that’s so important and how to do it in the second free training video below.

One day you will retire from leadership. You will never retire from your family.

7. THINKING

Every leader needs time to think.

If your life is a series of long meetings, administration and endless texts and emails, you will never take time to truly think. Add to that the constant digital disruption you carry in your pocket or purse and you’ll almost never have time to think—unless you make it.

Innovation never arises from leaders who just want to get it done. Innovation comes from leaders who question what ‘it’ should be.

Again, you can carve white space out on your calendar just to think. Go for a long car ride with the windows down. Find a coffee shop to linger in. Take a walk in the woods. Hop on your bike. Or lock your office door, shut your laptop and grab and pen and paper.

You can actually develop some strategies to become a better thinker (I outline mine here), but first, you need to simply create the space and time to think!

This article originally appeared here.

How Art Can Become a Bridge to the Gospel

By
Dr. Malcolm B Yarnell
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

Years ago, when I was a young pastor, I traveled to teach at a training for evangelical pastors soon after the fall of the Soviet Union. While walking through the centers of Russia’s great cities, I was struck with horror at how many churches had been violently shut during the Communist period and converted into scientific institutes or schools. Yet Christian art was sometimes allowed to remain because of its inherent beauty. It was then that I first realized the usefulness of art in opening an avenue for the presentation of the gospel.

I visited the Hermitage Museum in Saint Petersburg and the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow, where I found opportunities to begin gospel conversations. In the latter museum, Alexander Ivanov’s massive masterpiece, “The Appearance of Christ before the People,” continually drew crowds. Human characters in various postures of depravity confronted viewers, while John the Baptist pointed toward the approaching Christ. I was fascinated by the painting itself, which took the artist 20 years to complete, but even more by the audience’s emotional reactions.

When a Conversation About Art Leads to the Gospel

I struck up a conversation with our Russian guide and asked if she understood what the curated artwork really meant. She demonstrated a simple atheistic understanding of Russian Orthodox iconography. Alas, she did not understand the gospel behind the art. I asked her if the evil portrayed in some of the paintings required judgment. She agreed it did.

This conversation allowed me to present the good news that Jesus Christ became a human being in order to die on the cross and atone for human sin. I asked her if she believed what I was explaining. Surprisingly, she had no difficulty assenting to the deity of Christ or his incarnation, death and resurrection. What she struggled with was her own need for personal redemption and fear of change. She admitted there was something powerful behind the art she escorted Western visitors to view.

“Architecture, music, literature, paintings, jewelry, even the clothes we wear, can be an avenue to start gospel conversations and teach basic Christian doctrines.”

It became evident to our small group that she was on the edge of receiving Christ. I pleaded with her to receive the gift of life as the other men in my group prayed. Although she hesitated to do so that day, she asked us to pray for her. She also promised she would attend the church to which we referred her. It was our last full day in the frigid city. I hope she made it to church, heard the Word in her own language, and was born again.

Visualizing Christian Doctrine

That event taught me that art can serve as an avenue for cross-cultural evangelism. But art can also be used to teach important Christian doctrines, such as the Trinity. For instance, the 15th-century work, “The Trinity” by Andrei Rublev, is world-renowned among theologians. On the one hand, its beauty captivates the eye through intertwining exquisite gold-leaf with brilliant blues, greens and reds.

On the other hand, it places the three persons of the Trinity in precise positions with delicate dimensions intended to reflect what Scripture teaches about the internal divine relations of the one God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Moreover, the painting introduces both baptism and the Lord’s Supper, which Christ intended to symbolize the concrete gospel of his death and resurrection.

Both the Rublev and Ivanov pieces are found in Eastern Europe. When you turn to survey Western European art, especially in cities like Venice and Rome, you discover museums and churches filled with beautiful objects that can be used to explore the teachings of Scripture. You can begin with God’s ordered creation of the world in the book of Genesis and end with the final judgment of humanity by Christ in the book of Revelation. Moreover, one need not remain in European culture to find art for teaching the Christian gospel.

I have had joyous discussions in Africa regarding the profound doctrines of Scripture. For instance, a small Nigerian statue with three persons holding hands to form one community can be employed as a teaching aid for the Trinity. Interesting enough, I have found through using such art that Africans and Asians more readily embrace the doctrine of the Trinity than many in the West or Middle East.

Hyper-individualism or rigid monotheism that denies a triune God often prevents those of us in these cultures from receiving the biblical view, while other cultures often have a subtler understanding of corporate humanity, which more readily enables the teaching of the eternal God as three-and-one.

Art as an Avenue to Evangelism

One need not visit a museum to find art that can start a presentation of the saving gospel of Jesus Christ. Often, people wear art. Jewelry with religious significance like Celtic crosses are more than attractive cultural artifacts—they can prompt conversation. When you speak to a person in the United Kingdom about their own culture’s history of the gospel coming to Ireland through Patrick or to Scotland through Columba, avenues of witness immediately open.

I have been able to use not only visual art but also good English literature to share the gospel in independent bookstores. For instance, the Christian worldview behind J.R.R. Tolkien’s hugely popular Hobbit fiction series presents an immediate avenue for detailed gospel conversation.

Finally, art doesn’t even have to be Christian in order to be used as a bridge to the gospel. One sweet lady in my church in Granbury, Texas, uses tattoos she eyes upon acquaintances as a prompt for a gospel presentation. She expresses genuine interest in hearing the stories behind the art people sport on their own bodies and then turns the conversation to how the light of Christ changed her life.

Evangelicals must remember the lessons of the Reformation regarding the possibility that some art might obfuscate and detract from the preaching of the Word. But we should also remember the potential evangelistic value of the art around us. Our architecture, music, literature, paintings, jewelry, even the clothes we wear, can be an avenue to start gospel conversations and teach basic Christian doctrines. Try it. Although God himself can never be fully captured by human art, he may sovereignly decide to work through it, together with your voice, to draw people to Christ.

This article originally appeared here.

What Is the Actual Divorce Rate in the United States?

By
Glenn Stanton
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

There’s a great deal of confusion today about what the actual divorce rate is in the United States. Some say it’s around 50 percent, others say it’s nowhere close to that. Others contend this stat stems from a terrible misunderstanding of the data. In the world of sociology of the family, few things seem to have so many different competing understandings. No one but a small handful of family scholars really seems sure just what the current rate is. But it doesn’t need to be this way.

It is important that those who care about the family know the actual divorce rate so we have a sober understanding of how bad the story is regarding marital longevity. Or is there good news as well? There is actually both good and bad news regarding one’s divorce risk today. In fact, there is some remarkably good news unknown to most people. Before we examine that good news, let’s establish what the actual divorce rate is.

The four main measurements provide four different answers because they examine the elephant from different perspectives. I will start with the lesser used measures and conclude with the most popular, which then leads us into the very good news. The explanation of these four comes from Professor Paul R. Amato, the person leading sociologists go to for insight on such issues.

1. Crude Divorce Rate

This is not a rate that tells off-color jokes, but the actual number of divorces per 1,000 people in a population. The crude divorce rate is currently around 3.6 divorces for every 1,000 people in the U.S., regardless of age.

The age adjusted crude divorce rate is currently 13 divorces for every 1,000 people age 15 and older.

Pro: There is little that is useful about this measure, beyond providing the largest measurement/picture of divorce prevalence in a population.

Con: It includes all people—children, the unmarried and elderly people—who are not at risk for divorce.

2. Refined Divorce Rate

This is not a rate that knows its salad fork from the entree fork, but the actual number of divorces per 1,000 married women. Like the crude rate, it is an annual rate.

The refined divorce rate is 19 of every 1,000 marriages ended in divorce in 2011.

Paul Amato explains:

“An advantage of the refined divorce rate is that it has a clear interpretation. That is, dividing the rate by 10 yields the percentage of marriages that end in divorce every year. Currently, that number is about 2 percent.”

So, the refined annual divorce rate is currently 2 percent.

Pro: A very precise annual number that gives the rate of divorce as a subset of the actual married population, the proper comparison.

Con: Doesn’t give the bigger, longitudinal number of divorces.

3. Percent Ever Divorced—Not a Rate

A lesser-used measure is the percentage of ever-divorced adults in a population.

Currently, 22 percent of women are ever divorced, while 21 percent of men are. Of the currently divorced, 11 percent of women and 9 percent of men are.

Pro: It is what it is, straight-forward: How many people have ever been divorced at one point in time.

Con: As it includes all divorces, it includes those who married badly then divorced—perhaps when very young—and are now in a subsequent strong, enduring marriage of many decades. It also fluctuates relative to general marriage rate.

Should Pastors Tell Church People to Obey Them?

By
Charles Stone
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

Several passages in Scripture pose challenges to preaching. Even so, we shouldn’t skip the tough ones. However, when we must deal with tough passages such as this one below, we must take care how we teach them. Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. (Heb 13.17, NIV) That first part, “Obey your leaders,” poses the challenge. How should we approach the “followership” concept this verse speaks to?

I’ve excerpted a section from my book 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them below that captures the essence of this verse.

“Obey your leaders” sounds quite strong. Certainly this does not condone dictatorial leadership, as Peter makes this clear in saying, “Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your good example.” (1 Pet 5.3, NLT) After all, God calls us shepherds, and shepherds don’t push—they lead. Unfortunately, in our world, where self is king and where those in spiritual authority have abused their power, many in our churches would struggle with a sermon titled “Obey Your Leaders.”

But that’s not the part upon which I believe we should focus. It’s the last part: “that their work will be a joy, not a burden for that would be of no advantage to you.” Often it seems ministry brings more burdens than joy. After a tough meeting I sometimes wish I could get away with giving an elder a swirly. Other times, in response to a critic, I’m tempted to use King David’s words as a club: “Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.” (Ps 105.15)

Other translations render “that their work will be a joy” in these ways:

  • So don’t make them sad as they do their work. Make them happy. (CEV)
  • Let them do this with joy and not with grief…. (NASB)
  • Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. (NLT)
  • Let them do all this with joy and not with groaning. (ESV)

A similar verse mirrors this one. Paul writes, We ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. (1 Thes 5.12, NIV)

Other translators render “respect” (Greek: oida) as “appreciate” (NASB), “be thoughtful of” (CEV), “honor” (The Message, NLT), and “pay proper respect to” (TEV). On the other hand, just as “obey your leaders” can sound dictatorial, these statements can sound like they promote the self-serving, egotistical, and narcissistic.

Don’t make us sad…Honor us…Respect us…Make us happy…Appreciate us…Give us reasons to be joyful.

These thoughts likewise might seem oxymoronic when contrasted to our ministerial call to selflessly give ourselves away. But no matter how they’re translated, these verses raise some important questions. Is it wrong to want our ministries to bring us joy? Would we be sinning or at best self-serving to expect from our congregations certain things that would make serving them more joyful, less burdensome?

Should we dare even broach these matters? Did one pastor correctly assess church folk when he said, “Most truly aren’t concerned with my joy”? Conversely, should we affirm the answer of several others that “My joy is from the Lord, not from people”?

I don’t suggest a simplistic solution to pastoral joy. However, God’s Word leaves no room for misunderstanding. He expects believers to respond to healthy pastoral leadership by taking concrete steps to help make ministry more fulfilling for His servants.

Perhaps the key to making this truth become reality in the church lies in this: the church must see us as servants first and foremost. When we model Christ-like servanthood, I believe we create an atmosphere conducive for those in the church to become good followers, without our having to demand it.

What do you think? What do you believe is key to making this verse a reality in the church?

This article originally appeared here.

Robert Morris Surprises Congregation With New Campus Announcement

By
Megan Briggs
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Gateway Church
Screengrab Youtube @Gateway Church

Last Sunday, Pastor Robert Morris of Gateway Church in Texas made a very special announcement to his congregation. Morris told his multi-site congregation that the church had launched a new campus back in November. However, most Gateway members will not be able to attend church at the newest location.

Morris explained the newest campus is located inside the largest prison in Texas. Speaking to Fox News, Morris said he wants the members of the new campus to know “we love them and God loves them, and they are our brothers and sisters in Christ.”

According to Fox News, the prison is a 90-minute drive from the Dallas area and houses 4,000 inmates. The Coffield Campus is open to the prison’s 2,000 minimum security offenders. While only minimum security offenders can attend the services as they choose, medium security offenders can attend only on special occasions. Medium security offenders were allowed to attend the launch in November. As for the maximum security offenders, this group receives materials from Gateway Church, including the church magazine, devotionals and books.

On November 28, 2018, over 650 inmates showed up at the campus’ first service. The “Coffield Unit” is led by Pastor Stephen Wilson, an ex-offender turned pastor who has been ministering to prisoners at Coffield for several years now. Wilson told Fox News, “My first meeting to launch a Gateway Prison Campus happened seven years ago. We’ve been praying for this for seven years.”

Morris said that the campus has witnessed 500 salvations since its official launch in November. One Coffield attendee was visibly affected by the church’s willingness to reach out to prisoners. In a video that included footage from the Coffield campus, the attendee said “a lot of us don’t have visits and you guys coming in here and sharing y’all’s love to us has really impacted our lives.”

As a matter of discipleship, the Coffield Campus operates like other Gateway campuses, with inmates filling roles such as ushers, sound techs and worship team members to make the service run smoothly.

The Coffield Prison isn’t the only prison that Gateway intends to reach. Morris said they are working to launch 10 more campuses in the next two years.

Gateway’s Senior Pastor, Jimmy Evans, said, “We want the people in the prisons to have a church while they’re in and when they get out, so they can be integrated back into society. People in prison need a church, and we want to be a church family—literally.”

You can watch the announcement Morris made from Gateway’s Southlake campus, which includes footage of the new Coffield campus, in the video below.

‘Missionary’ Gets Life in Prison for Abusing Children in Cambodia

By
Jessica Lea
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

A judge has sentenced Daniel Stephen Johnson, a resident of Coos Bay, Oregon, to life in prison. Johnson sexually abused children at an unlicensed orphanage he ran for several years in Cambodia. Said the U.S. Attorney for the District of Oregon,

The despicable nature of this defendant’s conduct is beyond understanding. Whether you are abusing children in this country or abroad, you will be pursued and held accountable in a court of law. The fact that this defendant abused children under the guise of being a missionary and orphanage operator is appalling.

Johnson has been convicted on six counts of engaging in illicit sexual conduct in a foreign place, one count of travelling with the intent to engage in illicit sexual conduct, and one count of aggravated sexual assault with children. He has received life in prison for the latter conviction and 30 years for each of the other seven, to be served consecutively.

The orphanage was located in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, where during 2005 through 2013, Johnson “systematically and repeatedly” abused at least 10 children ranging from seven to 18 years old. The children would sometimes awake to Johnson molesting them, and he would occasionally give victims small portions of food or money afterward.

According to a report from KLTV News, Johnson worked as a Christian missionary for a nonprofit called Hope Transitions, based in Gladewater, Texas, and funded the orphanage through support from various churches.

Authorities Crack Down

U.S. officials located Johnson overseas after a warrant was issued for his arrest in an unrelated case in Lincoln County, Oregon. Cambodian National Police (CNP) arrested him in 2013 based on the testimony of children at the orphanage and while working in collaboration with the FBI. A non-governmental organization that works to protect children, Action Pour les Enfants (APLE) was also involved. In addition to arresting Johnson, Cambodian authorities ordered the orphanage to pay $1000 in fines. At the time of his arrest, Johnson claimed that APLE had bribed the families of the children who were accusing him.

While Johnson claimed that his accusers were being pressured into testifying against him, there were indications that he was actually pressuring his victims to drop their complaints. Several in fact did so.

Cambodian authorities sentenced Johnson to a year in prison in May 2014, and after his sentence was complete, handed him over to the FBI, who escorted him back to the U.S. pending trial. While building their case, the FBI interviewed over a dozen children and adults who had been at the orphanage. During that time, Johnson apparently again attempted to pressure witnesses into not testifying against him. Before his trial, he pled “not guilty” to all charges.

FBI Special Agent Renn Cannon said, “This case should serve as a warning to those predators who believe they can hide their crimes—whether here at home or half-a-world-away. We will always stand with the victims, and we will always work to bring justice in their names.”

6 Physical Factors That Can Impact Your Worship Service

By
Rick Warren
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

This week, walk around your church campus and try to see it through the eyes of a first-time guest.

We become so familiar with our surroundings that we become oblivious to the faded paint, the frayed carpet, the chipped pulpit, the stack of stuff on the piano, or the burned-out light bulbs overhead.

One way to combat this tendency is to do an Environmental Impact Report on your church. Take pictures throughout your facilities and show them to your leaders in order to figure out what needs to be changed.

6 Physical Factors That Can Impact Your Worship Service

1. Lighting: Lighting has a profound effect on people’s moods. Inadequate lighting dampens the spirit of a service. Shadows across a speaker’s face reduce the impact of any message.

Most churches are far too dark. I’ve noticed that even churches with plenty of windows often cover them up. Somehow, churches have gotten the idea, maybe from funeral parlors, that dimming the lights creates a more “spiritual” mood. I completely disagree.

I believe that church buildings should be bright and full of light. God’s character is expressed in light. 1 John 1:5 says, “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.” I believe churches should be the brightest public buildings. Light was the very first thing God created. God said, “Let there be light!” (Genesis 1:3) Today, I think God would like to say this to thousands of churches.

If you want to wake up your services, brighten up your environment. Take the curtains off your windows. Throw open the windows and doors. Turn on all the lights.

Here’s an experiment: This week secretly replace all the light bulbs in your worship center with twice the watts, then notice the change in mood in next weekend’s service. You may have revival!

2. Sound: Invest in the best sound system you can afford. If you’re trying to cut costs, do it in some other area. Don’t skimp here. Saddleback grew for 15 years without its own building, but we’ve always had a state-of-the-art sound system.

It doesn’t matter how persuasive the message is if people can’t hear it in a pleasing manner. A tinny, fuzzy sound system can undermine the most gifted musician and incapacitate the most profound preacher. And nothing can destroy a holy moment faster than a loud blast of feedback.

3. Seating: Both the comfort and the arrangement of your seating dramatically affect the mood of any service. The mind can only absorb what the seat can endure! Uncomfortable seating is a distraction that the Devil loves to use.

If you can get away with replacing the pews, I’d advise it. In today’s culture the only places people are forced to sit on benches are in church and the cheap bleacher section at ball games. People expect to have their own, individual chairs.

Personal space is highly valued in our society. This is why box seats are prized at stadiums. If people are forced to sit too close to each other, they get very uncomfortable. There should be at least 18 inches between people if you’re using chairs and 21 inches between people if you’re using pews.

If you use moveable seats, set them up so people can see some of each other’s faces. It will dramatically improve how people respond to the service. If you are planting a new church always set up fewer chairs than you need. It’s encouraging to your people when additional chairs must be brought in as people arrive. On the other hand, it’s very discouraging to worship in a service when surrounded by empty chairs.

4. Temperature: As a pastor who has preached for years in un-air-conditioned gyms and unheated tents, I say this with the utmost conviction: The temperature can destroy the best-planned service in a matter of minutes! When people are too hot or too cold they simply stop participating in a service. They mentally check out and start hoping for everything to end quickly.

The most common mistake churches make regarding temperature is to allow the building to become too warm. Some usher sets the thermostat at a reasonable setting before the service without realizing that when the building is actually filled with a crowd, the body heat of all those people will raise the temperature substantially. By the time the air conditioning has cooled everything down, the service is nearly over.

Always set the thermostat several degrees cooler than what is comfortable before the service begins. Cool it down before the crowd gets there. The temperature will rise quite quickly once the service starts. Keeping the temperature on the cool side will keep the crowd awake.

5. Clean, safe nurseries: If you want to reach young families, you’ve got to have sanitized and safe nurseries. There should be no mop-buckets in the corners and the toys should be cleaned each week.

6. Clean restrooms: Visitors may forget your sermon but the memory of a foul-smelling restroom lingers on…and on…and on! You can tell a lot about a church by checking out the cleanliness of its restrooms.

This article originally appeared here.

An Exciting Battle to Quickly Strengthen Small Groups

By
Corey Ray Jones
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

Do you host an event built on small groups where both the students and the leaders are excited to be there? Do you leverage this event to build the weekend services and draw small groups closer, or is your event one and done? Each year we host a Turf War, which is a sure-fire event to quickly strengthen the small groups in our ministry. If you want to create a competitive event the students will become obsessed with there are a few things you need to consider. 

Before Launching, Determine Your Battle

You are going to want to create a game or activity where small groups can compete against each other. This should be something that will be attractive to both the boys and the girls in your ministry. We have played game like “Capture the Hair Product” which is a mashup between multi-team Capture the Flag and a hairstyle contest, “Funnoodles,” which is an Olympics style battle using pool noodles in each competition, and “Triangulation,” which is an innovative game of 18 simultaneous activities to earn points for your small group. Before launching and advertising your Turf War determine which game you will be playing, but keep the actual game confidential to build excitement.  

As You Introduce Turf War, Build Energy

Don’t make the announcements informative but rather use your stage time to build competition. We place a graphic on the screen that reveals that important information and team colors and our host will rile up the competition by talking about how the blue team will annihilate the red team. The host reminds the kids that the bigger teams will have an advantage and to start bringing their friends each Sunday to grow their team. We never reveal the actual battle between the small groups, but we might give clues to build excitement. 

Leading Up to the Event

There are so many opportunities to take advantage of prior to the day of the event. You can begin rewarding bonus points toward the turf war. Maybe you see students helping with putting away chairs and want to reward them, just give their small group Turf War Points. Or when students compete in an on-stage game, instead of giving them a physical prize you could give their small group bonus points. The week before the event you could even tell the kids to come dressed in their small group color and award points for those who participated. To track our points and display them live in services we used the “Color Wars” presentation from DYM’s Sidekick App. 

Bottom Line: Small Groups have something to look forward to together and the event builds such a strong community. Take my advice and look for an innovative way to build and strengthen your small groups. If you have an idea for a future game that could be used for a Turf War, leave it in the comments!

5 Don’ts of Healthy Communication

By
Ron Edmondson
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

In my career, I work with a lot of people in a lot of settings. You might say my job involves a lot of relationships. In the process, I have learned the key to healthy relationships is communication.

Communication is an art of sorts. Some are better at it than others.

I have seen relationships destroyed because of poor communication. I know marriages that could improve if we improved the communication in the marriage. I’ve seen people avoid other people because they know how the communication will go when they encounter them. I’ve known people who are short on quality relationships, and, honestly, many times it is because they never learned or don’t practice healthy communication techniques. Careers are made and destroyed by a person’s ability to communicate effectively—or not.

So, sincerely, this post is intended to help. I want to share some things not to do in attempting healthy communication. We are all guilty or some of these at times—this blogger/pastor included.

Here Are 5 Don’ts of Healthy Communication:

Don’t always have a bigger story.

This is the one I’ve been guilty the most of these five. Someone is telling you their story and their experience reminds you of your experience. So, naturally, you interrupt their story, or don’t appear to be listening closely, because you want to share your story. But, remember, right now they are sharing “their” experience. It is important enough to them to share it with you. Don’t try to trump their story. It is rude and it shuts them down. Discipline yourself to wait for the right opportunity—and be OK if it doesn’t come—sometimes your only role is to listen.

Don’t talk more than you listen.

This will address the person you’re thinking of in the first point that is always sharing their story. They never listen. They don’t give you a chance to share yours. If this is you, stop talking and listen. Ask questions. Show genuine concern. Be interested in what others have to say too. You’ll find people more interested in what you have to share when it’s your turn.

Don’t always be negative.

All of us are negative at times. Life is hard and it impacts us. That’s partly what friendships are for—to share our burdens with one another. But every conversation and every comment we make shouldn’t be negative. It makes it difficult to build a sustainable, healthy relationship, because sometimes the other person needs you to be positive on the day they are especially negative.

Don’t consistently have the last word.

Sure you’ve got one more word to share. We get it. Most likely you’ve already proven that point. But, sometimes let the other person say the final word. It’s humbling for you—and good—for you and them. And, the conversation. And, the relationship.

Don’t speak before you think.

This is so important. Maybe the most important one. It includes the saying, “If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything—or nothing at all.” (If you want to be like Thumper.) If we could catch our words before they exit our mouths, filter them through the power of love and grace, then release them, we could keep from injuring those with whom we are trying to communicate. And, relationships could thrive apart from the injury of inappropriate or awkward—often even mean-spirited words.

OK, be honest, upon which of these do you need to improve?

Remember, I shared mine. Now your turn.

This article originally appeared here.

3 Reasons Winning at Work Is Easier Than Winning at Home

By
Carey Nieuwhof
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

How’s it going at home…really?

Here’s what I’ve come to believe.

Ultimately, everything rides on how you lead at home. 

The stakes are high.

Lead well at home, and you will inevitably become a better leader in your ministry or organization.

The difficult issues you work through in your marriage and parenting will make you a wiser, stronger leader organizationally. My wife, Toni, and I tell how we worked through some very hard seasons here.

The discipline of loving someone for a lifetime will help you love the people you serve and work with through their ups and downs. Working through the issues at home actually makes the issues at work easier.

Leadership at home is more difficult than leadership organizationally for most people. Because respect is earned at home, and no one is interested in your title or corner office, you have to lead with love. It’s the only thing that works long term.

Lead poorly at home, and the consequences will play out in several ways in your leadership:

You may win in ministry but lose the heart and affection of your family. Most of us have met leaders whose family is still together but deeply resents the leader’s organization.

Your leadership in ministry might be permanently stunted as unresolved character issues leak from home into your organizational leadership. Your flaws tend to eventually impact everything you lead and touch.

You might lose it all—the collapse of your family might lead to the collapse of your ministry and leadership. How many times have we seen an affair, an addiction or other moral failures take out a leader whose gifting outweighed his character?

See what’s at stake?

Even though so much ultimately rides on how you lead at home, you will be tempted (as I am) to resist leading well at home.

In fact, many people pour all their skill development into leading at work and will let the home front slide.

I know in seasons I’ve done that.

But here’s the truth. If you’re winning at work but losing at home, you’re losing.

Why?

Here are three reasons winning at work is easier than winning at home.

1. RESPECT IS OFTEN EASIER TO GET AT WORK THAN IT IS AT HOME.

Men, in particular, crave respect. So it’s easy to skip home, work harder and become even more ‘celebrated’ in your field.

Respect at work often comes from your accomplishments and sometimes your position.

At home, it comes from your character.

No one at home is impressed by your resume, your sales, your growth or your war stories. Which makes it easier to keep working.

2. AT HOME, THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM WHO YOU REALLY ARE. 

People at home see you as you really are—in your weaknesses, in your most vulnerable moments. They see you uncut.

Many leaders prefer the edited version of themselves, but our families never get that.

Because at home there is no escape from who you really are, some leaders are tempted to escape from home (back to the office, to friends or to some time-consuming hobby).

3. THE WINS AT HOME ARE LONG TERM WINS

You can get quick fixes to problems at work. At home, you are primarily working on things that take a lifetime to achieve.

Great marriages are measured in decades and ultimately in fractions of a century. The relationship with our kids last throughout our lives. God is working on our character over a lifetime, not just in Q3. You can change your job. You can get a promotion. But our family relationships are forever. That makes them much harder, but so much more worthwhile.

I realize this post doesn’t resolve the tension. It raises it.

But maybe for some of us, that’s where we need to leave it for now.

Sometimes when I think about what’s at stake and why I resist, it ups my motivation to change. My next post will outline several ways leaders can lead better at home.

But in the meantime, let’s leave it there.

And let’s think and pray about what’s at stake.

Stop Losing at Home. Start Winning at Home and at Work.

If you really want to start winning at home and at work, the High Impact Leader course can help.

This course is everything I’ve learned in the past decade since burning out, and I show you how to elevate your leadership at home and create more time for yourself and family.

Today, I still have bigger goals than ever before, but I’ve made fundamental changes that have led to a healthier, happier lifestyle without sacrificing my family and vastly increasing my productivity at work. I’ve taken what I’ve learned during this journey and put it into the High Impact Leader course.

You can complete the three-hour course at your own pace. It’s the most comprehensive content I’ve ever created for leaders to help you reclaim HOURS every day so you can become more effective at work and more present at home. When your time, energy and priorities are all working together for you, it’ll impact everything you do.

  • You become a better leader, because you’re doing what you do best when you’re at your best.
  • You become a better spouse, because you’re focused at home.
  • You become a better parent, neighbor and friend, because you actually have time off to relax and engage.

These principles will free you to thrive in every area of your life.

You can learn more and gain instant access today.

What’s Been Hardest for You at Home?

This article originally appeared here.

Why Being Too Nice Is Bad for Leadership

By
Ron Edmondson
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

I was talking with a leader recently. She’s an incredibly kind and gentle person. She’s smart, hard-working and loyal. She’s a relational leader and usually brings out the best in people, so she’s had success in leadership. She is currently experiencing problems in a new position and asked for my help.

In talking through the specific situation, it quickly became obvious that she has one weakness and it is currently affecting her entire team. It’s a common weakness among leaders. At times, most of us will struggle in this area.

Her weakness?

She is being too nice!

Granted, that doesn’t sound like it could ever be a weakness. And it has made her well-liked in the organization. She’s incredibly popular. And, she likes that. But it also has made her team less successful than it could be. And she knows it.

Currently, a few team members are taking advantage of her niceness by underperforming in their roles. She hasn’t challenged the problems, even though she knows she should. She’s losing sleep over it, but doesn’t know what to do. The relational leadership in her, which is a positive about her leadership style, is not working with these team members.

Perhaps you’ve seen this before in an organization. Maybe you’ve been on either side of this issue. If this is your situation, you have probably even thought or said things such as, “I gave them an inch and they took a mile.”

I am not suggesting one become a mean leader. That would be wrong. It certainly wouldn’t be biblical leadership.

I am suggesting one become a wise leader. Wisdom learns to guide people in the direction that’s best for them, the leader, and the entire team or organization. In the situation above, I advised my friend to take off her “nice hat,” at least temporarily, to address the few people causing the majority of the problems that are impacting the entire team.

As hard as it will seem at first, in the end it will be a blessing for the entire team…and my leader friend.

I have learned that people accept the ‘what’ better if they first understand the ‘why’…so then I shared with her why I feel her default niceness is causing current problems for the team.

Here are three problems with being too nice as a leader:

1. It’s bad for the leader.

The leader ends up stressing over the wrong things. Instead of worrying about the big picture, the leader is focused on a few problems with usually only a few people.

The leader feels unsuccessful, even like a failure at times, as the team achieves less than desired results.

The Most Important Coaches on the Field at the Super Bowl

By
Stephanie Martin
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

As the Los Angeles Rams and New England Patriots prepare for Super Bowl LIII on Sunday, some players say their Christian faith—plus the guidance of team chaplains—helps them put football into proper perspective.

Both rosters contain men who are outspoken about following Jesus. Brandin Cooks, who was traded from the Patriots to the Rams last April, frequently tweets Bible verses, prayers and encouraging words. Rams offensive tackle Andrew Whitworth, who donated a game check to survivors of a mass shooting in California last fall, says, “I accepted Christ at a young age, but it took many years of failure and pain for me to realize what it means to follow and seek God in every aspect of my life.”

For the Patriots, Duron Harmon, Matthew Slater and Devin McCourty are particularly outspoken about their faith. “Football is temporary,” says Slater. “It’s going to be over for all of us at some point. But when you look at a relationship with Jesus, you understand you’re living for eternity. And if you can’t get excited about that, I don’t know what you can get excited about.”

The Team Chaplain Values Faith Over Football

To encourage players during each season’s highs and lows, most teams rely on a chaplain, whether a paid staffer or volunteer. For the Rams, that role is filled by Kevin Nickerson, director of the Los Angeles County chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Nickerson, who played pro football for seven years, credits a former team chaplain for being “very instrumental in my faith walk.”

Now as a chaplain himself, Nickerson says he plays a “big brother” role, befriending and serving players, no matter their beliefs. “I treat everybody the same in the locker room,” he says. “Jesus said, ‘I didn’t come for the well. I didn’t come for the righteous and those who don’t need a doctor. I came for the sick.’ … My mentality is that we’re all sick. … I’m just as big of a sinner as those who don’t know Jesus.”

For the Patriots, chaplain and “character coach” Jack Easterby receives kudos for providing genuine affection to players and personnel. He “offers love with no strings attached,” says Slater, a special teams player. “As macho as we are in the locker room, we all want to be loved.”

Easterby, who’s known for his bear hugs, encourages players as they deal with injuries and personal issues, whether joyful or tragic. “As men, sometimes we don’t know how to deal with different emotions,” Slater says. “We don’t grieve the way we should, experience sadness the way we should, or express joy the way we should, because we’re so focused on the job. Jack has been there to say, ‘It’s OK to be down. It’s OK to have heartache.”

Life Lessons Beyond the Gridiron

While serving as chaplain for the Kansas City Chiefs, Easterby helped them through heartache in 2012 when linebacker Jovan Belcher killed his girlfriend and then committed suicide in the team’s parking lot. “My heart, my mind, were conditioned through that moment,” Easterby says. “I think it’s prepared me for a lot of things that I don’t even know that it’s prepared me for.”

The next year, Easterby joined the Patriots and helped them cope with player Aaron Hernandez’s arrest on murder charges. Easterby, who took seminary classes at Erskine College and Liberty University, was drawn to coach Bill Belichick’s challenge to be “the seeds and water of truth, love and support to grow people and have them be encouragement-oriented.”

Slater says many of his teammates had been praying for that type of spiritual mentor. Easterby leads Bible studies, conducts premarital counseling, and is available any time of the day or night. “If it’s washing a guy’s car, meeting him for dinner, playing Wiffle ball in the back yard, my best ability is my availability—2 o’clock in the morning, 3 in the afternoon,” he says. “When I do that, I show a little glimpse of who God is. Because God doesn’t sleep. God doesn’t turn away when your problem’s too big. My goal in a small way is to mirror that the best I can.”

Easterby Emphasizes Servanthood and Character

Through his website, GreatestChampion.com, Easterby helps athletes and teams remember that true victory comes through Jesus. When asked to sum up his job description with the Patriots, he says, “Servant. To serve anybody and everybody in the building, to help us be prepared on and off the football field. To be prepared as men, as people. … And also to be the glue for our team.”

Amid the roller coaster of each season, Easterby’s mission is to “grow people” and “leave everyone I interact with better than I found them.” Players agree he’s accomplished that. McCourty calls Easterby “a godsend” who creates “better men.” And Slater says, “I can only hope and pray to be half the man that [Jack]’s been and impact lives the way he has.”

Some football fans don’t associate the word “character” with the Patriots, who’ve dealt with scandals such as Spygate and Inflategate. But ESPN reporter Seth Wickersham says that “for all the attacks on their character,” the Patriots “have actually invested more [in] their team’s character than any team in the NFL.”

Broadcasting Faith in Jesus

For Sunday’s big game, Christians are represented beyond the playing field and sidelines. Color analyst Tony Romo, who will be in the broadcast booth, frequently speaks about his faith. The former Dallas Cowboys quarterback attributes his trademark poise on the field to his relationship with Jesus. “As long as he has control, I’m at peace,” Romo says. “Having Jesus in your life gives you everlasting peace, which never goes away.”

Being a spiritual leader is important to Romo. “For me, my greatest peace of mind, my greatest success, you might say, is when I walk the spiritual journey, when I’m a spiritual leader to my family and the people I’m around,” he says. “That’s what I’m striving for, and that’s where I hope to continue to go and grow.”

Justin Moxley: The Critical Need to Plant More Churches

By
Jason Daye
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

Justin Moxley is the Partnership Development Executive for Stadia, an organization that helps church planters. Growing up in a rural church, serving in a mega church and leading a new church, Justin has been involved in nearly all aspects of the church and church planting. Justin is on the teaching team of his local church, has served as an adjunct professor and currently serves on the board of a local non-profit. He has been married to Tiffany for over 23 years, has a son Zane and a daughter Savannah. He loves the beach, Kansas City BBQ, and watching his kids play college soccer.

Key Questions for Justin Moxley

– Recently some research was released about church plants. What do we learn from this research?

– Why plant a church instead of try to grow an established church? What do church plants offer that is unique from other churches?

– How can a church know if they’re ready to plant another church or another site?

Key Quotes from Justin Moxley

“I think church planting is just about as hard as it has ever been in the history of the U.S.”

“For years the closure rate of churches was about 3,700 a year, and they’re anticipating that that number will move to about 5,500. All the while, there’s going to be probably another 100 million people that will come to the U.S. in the next seven years, either through birth or immigration. So the need continues to grow and grow and grow.”

“We need to be planting about 8,100 churches per year just to keep up with the population and the closure rates.”

“Of the new churches that Stadia serves, 42 percent of the attendance of those churches is made up of first time believers.”

“There’s a difference between being burdened and being called and equipped by God to [plant churches].”

“Every one of us should be a part of church planting. The question is what role should we play?”

“There are new expressions of the church that constantly need to be telling the true, same Gospel story, just in a way that [unchurched people] can understand and that they can grasp.”

“Churches that are under the age of 10 are 2.3 times more likely to plant a campus or a church than churches that are over 10 years old. Just like new Christians reach new Christians, new churches plant new churches.”

Mentioned in the Show:

Pinetops Report
StadiaChurchPlanting.org
Stadia on Facebook
Stadia on Twitter
Exponential Conference
Latest Multisite Trends Report

Abortion: The #1 Cause of Death in the World

By
Ronnie Floyd
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

If I asked you what the leading cause of death in the world is, I imagine the first answer to pop into your mind would be a disease such as cancer. It wouldn’t be a bad guess—cancer kills more than 8 million people every year. But it’s not the right answer.

You might then consider AIDS or smoking or alcohol-related deaths—or perhaps even traffic accidents? Combined, the four are responsible for the deaths of over 11 million people around the world.

But the leading cause of death in the world is none of the above. In fact, it kills more people than all of them combined.

Abortion: The #1 Cause of Death in the World

In 2018, 41.9 million pregnancies were prematurely terminated, making abortion the no. 1 cause of death in the world. The staggering figure was tallied by Worldometers, a site which aggregates statistical data from sources such as the World Health Organization (WHO).

Yet unlike most of the other leading causes of death in the world, abortion is almost 100 percent preventable. Case in point: In the U.S., 9 out of 10 abortions are elective. That is to say they are performed not due to medical reasons but because the baby is not wanted.

I wonder what would happen if we viewed abortion the same way we view smoking or cancer. Would it remain the leading cause of death in the world if we ran public service campaigns to dissuade women from seeking abortions, as we do for smoking? Or if we spent billions of dollars on research to save lives, as we do with cancer?

The sad truth is our culture doesn’t discourage abortion; on the contrary, we champion and celebrate it. One pro-choice group took it to the next level when it recently released a video of its founder talking with children about why abortion is good.

“They just suck the pregnancy out. It was like a really crappy dentist appointment or something…like a body thing that’s kind of uncomfortable,” she explains to two pre-teen girls in the video.

Notice the choice of words: They suck the pregnancy out. An abortion does not suck a pregnancy out; it forcefully removes, often through suction and cutting, a fetus—or in other words, a baby—from the womb.

That’s the message our culture is communicating to our children today—a baby is only valuable when it doesn’t interfere with your life and your happiness.

Believe it or not, as outrageous as this may sound, many of our elected officials believe it. On its very first day in session, the 116th Congress—hailed for having a record number of women—voted on a spending bill. But beyond providing funds for the federal government, the bill would also restore funding to organizations that provide abortions overseas, which stands in direct contravention to the many recent decisions that have prevented taxpayers’ money from financing abortions.

Today, January 22, is the National Sanctity of Human Life Day. On this date, 46 years ago, the Supreme Court legalized abortion across all 50 states. That one fateful decision has led to the deaths of over 61 million babies in America. That’s roughly the combined populations of California and Florida.

There is nothing in this world more valuable than a human life. The Bible tells us God made us in his image and likeness. This means that, regardless of race, gender, age, place of birth or socioeconomic status, every human life has intrinsic, unalienable value. From the womb, all the way to the tomb, life is precious.

I pray America will choose life.

This article originally appeared here.

6 Reasons We Need Revival Meetings

By
Brad Graves
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

6 Reasons We Need Revival Meetings

Revival Humbles Us

God bless those of you who were at this altar crying to God this week. In my book, people who are at the altar are the ones who are right with God, and the ones who avoid the altar are usually not listening to His voice. If you were perfect then you would already be in heaven. Repentance needs to happen and Revival creates the opportunity for it.

Revival Refreshes Us

The music, seeing lives changed, and being challenged and encouraged are all refreshing. I needed it and tried to apply every sermon I heard immediately. God wants to search us and call out sin and build up righteousness. Revival is refreshing because we can encounter God in a different way.

Revival Makes Us Become Evangelists

If you brought someone to the revival that God saved, you became an evangelist for the Lord! We always see people saved and baptized.

Revival Unifies Us

It’s hard to disagree with someone when you are at an altar praying with them over your own sin. It’s easier to empathize with one different than you when you cry with them at an altar.

Revival Promotes What Is Best About Us

Sometimes in church you can become known for what you are against. Or the worst thing that has happened to you…or just whatever rumor people want to create. But when you have a Revival it tells your community that we are serious about God, fearing Him, knowing Him, being right with Him, and bringing people to Him.

Revival Stretches Us

Bringing people to hear the Gospel stretches all of us. You come out every night, some of you worked all day, came straight from work, home to bed, some went back to work, some had to get up at 4 a.m….it stretched you for God’s glory! I am proud of you for that. It stretches you to listen to a different speaker, one that contrasts me. It stretches you to listen to others for truth. And if God can stretch you with Revival—then what else can He stretch you with?

This article originally appeared here.

How to Choose a Children’s Ministry Curriculum

By
Matt Morgan
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

One of the questions that comes up when I’m with other children’s ministry leaders is how to choose a children’s ministry curriculum.

This week, I’m attending INCM’s Children’s Pastors Conference with about 2,000 other Children’s Ministry leaders. It’s such a great time of learning, networking and refreshing for the work we are called to.

As I walk the halls, I hear many of the same questions… How do we get more volunteers? How do I love, train and keep the volunteers I have? What children’s ministry curriculum do you use and do you like it?

That last question in an interesting one. The first two questions are universal. We all need volunteers and want to be good stewards of those God brings into our ministry. But the curriculum question really sparks the most interesting conversations.

Some people are die-hard fans of a curriculum. Others have tried everything available and are still searching. As the conversation fills with the reasons for likes and dislikes of the curriculum options, many of the comments are based on how well the curriculum engages or entertains the kids, how easy it is to implement for the leader or volunteers, or how much it costs.

While all of these are extremely important factors, I’m concerned that we’re missing the most crucial factor in choosing a curriculum:

Does this children’s ministry curriculum teach the Bible in a way that allows kids to clearly see who Jesus is and what He has done?

This should be our main concern in choosing a curriculum (and any other resource or event we choose for our ministry). I know we believe every curriculum should fit into this category, but sadly it doesn’t. Sure, you can make edits and rewrite to include the Gospel, but it’s not the same as when the Gospel takes center-stage from the start. When choosing resources or curriculum for kids ministry, I will always choose to one that teaches the Bible in a way that allows kids to see how the entire story of Scripture points us to Jesus and our need for Him. That is my foundation. I can build in creativity, crafts, skits, take-home resources and other important features, but the Gospel message must be at the center from the start.

Here are a couple of other tips to consider when choosing a curriculum:

Pick a children’s ministry curriculum that engages the heart before the hands.

We all want the curriculum to be engaging for kids. I’m a big proponent of fun, but never at the expense of the truth about Jesus. I feel that a curriculum that focuses on engaging the heart of kids with the Gospel will naturally be more captivating than any craft, game or creative element.

Decide first what kids need to know so that you can evaluate whether a curriculum meets your needs.

This is a major reason why Gospel centrality is important to me. I know that’s what we all need most. If you feel strongly that kids need to have an understanding of our call to missions, then make sure you carry that value into your curriculum search.

Educate yourself on the ideas and concepts that kids can appropriately grasp at each age.

While Gospel centrality is most important, it is only effective when it is presented in terms and ways that each age can understand. I want to be sure that I evaluate what kids can understand about God at each age so that the curriculum can present Truth in a receivable way.

Pick a children’s ministry curriculum that you, your leaders and your church leadership will be passionate about.

Once again, this is why I believe gospel-centrality is the most important factor in choosing a curriculum. We are all passionate about Jesus and sharing His message of salvation. If you can find a curriculum that effectively shares who He is and what He has done to kids, it will energize you and your leaders.

This article originally appeared here.

Walking With Students Through Depression

By
Carl Dodd
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Father’s Day program ideas for church

Recently I opened up Facebook to yet another post from a youth pastor friend sharing about a student overwhelmed by darkness and despair. Sadly, darkness had consumed the 16-year-old’s life and ultimately ended it. This tale is far too common amongst the students we minister to. As I connect with youth pastors, I repeatedly hear these stories; stories of students battling depression and of leaders feeling ill-equipped to help.

According to suicide.org, we are ministering to a culture where about 20 percent of teens experience depression before reaching adulthood. Although not all depressive states lead to suicide, it is still the third-leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24. If you are currently supporting someone suffering from depression, know that you are needed—and you’re not alone.

Depression can look different in every person. If a student starts to talk with you about depression, then let them talk. The fact they trust you enough to talk about this…that’s a big deal! As you give them space, you’ll learn more. Try and keep calm so that you don’t add any more emotional energy to the mix.

Some of the most common expressions that may indicate depression are darkness, a pit, quicksand or a trap that a person just can’t seem to get themselves out of. Our students need support if they are walking through this level of despair: They know they are not able to fix this themselves, because they’ve already tried.

I’ve laid out some key ideas for walking with teens through depression. But before you start, you need to pray! You will need God with you on this. You will need the Holy Spirit’s guidance and the strength of God as you journey into the darkness with your student. Here are a few more tips:

1. Know yourself

As you help a student, it is important to check yourself at the beginning. For example, if you’re driven to find solutions quickly and solve problems, you may need to slow down the pace. While this instinct can be an important driving force for you, depression has no quick-fixes. Or, if you are driven by empathy, you may be at risk of losing the objectivity that your student needs from you. Know what motivates you, know your strengths, and make sure you also know how they could be a weakness as you support a student in crisis.

2. Provide a safe space

More often than not, you’ll become aware of a student’s struggles either because of a crisis event or because the student feels safe enough to open up to you about what’s going on. Perhaps you’ve noticed your student has started to withdraw, has gone through a significant behavior change, has started engaging in unhealthy or risky behavior, or something else that is outside the norm. Create a safe space for your student. If he or she feels they can talk with you without risk of over-reaction or judgment, then they will feel safe enough to talk about some of their struggles.

3. Listen and understand

Show your student you’re listening. Make sure your phone is turned over and on silent. Use good eye contact with the student (but don’t make it weird!). As you’re listening, avoid quick responses and accept what you are hearing without jumping to judgment. Avoiding phrases like “you shouldn’t feel that way,” “that’s just stupid,” or “that’s not a big deal” will keep you from devaluing the very real feelings and emotions your student is experiencing. When you sit down with your student, have some follow up questions and feed back what you hear him or her saying to make sure you’re on the same page. Bring God’s light into their situations at appropriate moments by reminding them of His promises and offering to pray.

3 Surprising Reasons to Love the Wrath of God

By
Stephen Altrogge
-
Father’s Day program ideas for church

Do you love the wrath of God?

That sounds like a somewhat deranged question, right? I mean, when was the last time you had a conversation about how beautiful the wrath of God is? I don’t think I’ve ever had that conversation.

Or when was the last time you sang a worship song that focused on the wrath of God? It’s not quite as catchy to sing about the furious wrath of God as it is to sing about the reckless love of God.

Have you ever read a book extolling the glorious virtues of the wrath of God? Survey says, “Probably not.” I certainly haven’t.

The simple truth is that we (myself included) don’t really like to talk about God’s wrath. It makes us moderately uncomfortable. It doesn’t jive well with our modern sensibilities. We prefer to talk about how God is loving, kind and merciful, all of which are gloriously true.

If you talk about God’s wrath on a regular basis, people start avoiding you at parties and giving you the distant side eye—the look that says, “Stay far away from this strange person.”

But it’s equally true that God is wrathful, and the wrath of God is just as glorious as his love and mercy.

Wait, what? The wrath of God is just as glorious and beautiful as God’s love?

Yes, it is. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but we should prize and treasure the wrath of God just as much as any other part of God’s character.

Here are three reasons why.

What Is the Wrath of God?

First, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page regarding the wrath of God. Depending on your background, you may have all kinds of unhelpful preconceived notions that keep you from truly treasuring God’s wrath.

So what is God’s wrath?

The wrath of God is God’s holy, righteous, absolutely morally pure opposition to and punishment of unrighteousness. 

Living in the Aftermath of Suicide

By
Al Hsu
-
Father’s Day program ideas for church

More than 42,000 people die by suicide every year in the U.S., and each one leaves behind on average six to 10 survivors—spouses, parents, children, other family and friends who are devastated by the loss. That’s hundreds of thousands of people every year who are grieving this kind of death. And yet most of us typically feel isolated and alone in grappling with the reality of it all. Those of us who have lost a loved one to suicide need to know that we are not alone in this loss.

Most of us experience survivor’s guilt and blame ourselves for our loved one’s death. We think, “I should have seen it coming,” or, “I should have done something to prevent this.” As I interviewed other survivors, one of the main themes they wanted to communicate to other survivors is this: It’s not your fault. While we may always wonder if we could have done more to prevent the suicide, ultimately the choice was not ours. Our loved ones made the decision to do this, and survivor’s guilt should not keep hold over us indefinitely.

I lost my father to suicide; he was 58. I come from an Asian-American cultural context where people don’t talk about things like depression or suicide because they’re seen as shameful, and we don’t want to bring further shame to the family. It took some months and years to have experienced enough healing to share what had happened. I talked with my mother and asked her if it would be OK for me to write publicly about my dad’s death. She gave me her blessing and said that my dad always kept things bottled up inside, so she was glad that I was able to explore and express my grief more openly.

For the most part, the church was helpful and comforting. Even if people didn’t know what to do or say, they were present with us in our grief and helped out with practical needs. The pastor who conducted my father’s funeral was very sensitive in how he interacted with us. His sermon framed things in terms of depression being a battle that people fight against themselves, which was a helpful metaphor for understanding the realities of mental illness.

What was hurtful were some of the well-intentioned but painful comments that people said, clichés like “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle” or “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Even if there’s some truth to these kinds of sayings, it usually comes across as a pat answer rather than true empathy or comfort. In the immediacy of my grief, I didn’t want to hear anything about God’s secret plans to turn all this for good. I needed to mourn and cry, and for the church to mourn with those who mourn.

Because churches care about their members’ emotional and spiritual health, churches have an opportunity to walk with those who struggle, and to support their loved ones and family members. Churches can provide soul care and minister to a whole range of spiritual and emotional issues. In general, churches have not always had a great track record in knowing what to do for those with mental illness, but awareness seems to have improved in recent years. While no church can do everything, most churches can do at least a few things, from modeling transparency from the pulpit to providing support groups or small groups for particular areas.

Losing my father to suicide has made me more aware of the realities of mental illness, and more sensitive to the fact that all of us face challenges and struggles of many kinds. It has helped me recognize the preciousness of all life and that this life is worth living. While my personality temperament tends to avoid suffering and pain, I’ve learned to acknowledge the realities of pain and loss, and to be present with others in their various kinds of suffering.

As a parent, I am more aware of the fragility of life. My younger son has Down syndrome and autism and experiences significant sensory issues and social anxiety. His developmental disabilities and behavioral challenges can be overwhelming at times, but I have learned to be more present with him in the midst of those challenges and to value him even when it’s hard. Overall, I find myself all the more grateful for my family and relationships and no longer take anything or anyone for granted.

Some Christians have a tendency to overspiritualize everything, to assume that every issue has a spiritual solution or that every problem is the result of sin or demonic activity. But someone who is struggling may not need to repent of some mysterious sin as much as they need to take antidepressants. Medicine and counseling are not antithetical to Christian ministry; a better understanding of neuroscience and brain chemistry can help us minister more effectively to one another.

Don’t be afraid of raising the topic with someone who appears to be at risk. While people who are depressed or struggling with suicidal ideation may want to die, in most cases part of them also desperately wants to live. I highly recommend Karen Mason’s book Preventing Suicide, which provides suggestions for how pastors and church leaders can teach and preach on mental health issues and provide emotional and spiritual hope for their parishioners.

This world is desperately broken, and so many today struggle with depression and mental illness. But Christians have hope that death does not have the final word. In Christ, God has overcome the power of death and is making all things new, where people no longer struggle and every tear will be wiped away.

For more information on this topic, check out Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One’s Search for Comfort, Answers and Hope.

This article originally appeared here.

Pastor Succumbs to Suicide After Struggling With Mental Health

By
Jessica Lea
-
Father’s Day program ideas for church

Jim Howard, a megachurch pastor in Santa Clarita, California, fatally shot himself on January 23. Howard was the Family Life pastor at Real Life Church’s (RLC) Valencia campus and had a history of struggling with his mental health. In a statement posted the day after Howard’s death, Lead Pastor Rusty George said,

Sadly, Jim suffered in private with mental health challenges—some of which he bravely discussed in public—and was wrestling with some personal issues in recent months. This week he made the tragic decision to end his pain. He will be deeply missed by his family, friends, the RLC family and all those who were blessed to know him.

Paramedics were dispatched to Howard’s home just before 3:40 p.m. last Wednesday after getting a report about a gunshot wound. Homicide detectives were later called in to investigate. Sgt. Tim O’Quinn of the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department’s Homicide Bureau could not officially confirm the cause of death, but he did confirm that Howard did not die as the result of a “criminal incident.”

A ‘Devastating Shock’

Speaking in the front of the church following Howard’s death, George called what had happened a “devastating shock,” despite the fact that Howard was always open about his struggles with depression and mental illness and had even recently taught on those topics. Said George,

Because of some deeply personal issues he was wrestling with recently, he actually chose to resign last weekend. And we were working with him to help him into a season of healing and preparation for his next season of ministry, wherever that might be…and unbeknownst to us, we didn’t know how deep the darkness was inside of his own mind.

George said that not even Howard’s closest friends were aware of how deep his struggle was, particularly because he was so energetic, encouraging and fun to be around. However, George did say that certain comments Howard had made in the past now made more sense in light of his death.

RLC is using this tragedy as an opportunity to encourage people to take mental health challenges seriously and is offering online resources in addition to talking about the issue from the pulpit. George noted that while suicide rates are declining worldwide, they are rising in the U.S., a fact confirmed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Among other data, the CDC reports that the national age-adjusted suicide rate increased by 33 percent from 1999 to 2017. George also stated that the Santa Clarita Valley has one of the highest suicide rates in the country, particularly for men in Howard’s age range.

Many people have expressed their condolences on Facebook. In the comments on RLC’s statement, one user said,

The Apostle Paul wrote, “If one member suffers, all suffer together” – 1 Corinthians 12:26. This tragedy is not simply a Real Life Church heartache, but a shared grief for the Body of Christ in our city. As the broader body of Christ let’s lavish our prayers on the brothers and sisters at Real Life Church.

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