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7 Things Leaders Should Stop Doing

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As leaders, we have a finite amount of energy.

We either use that energy wisely or waste it. And one thing for sure, we never get it back.

Each day presents us with 24 hours in which our physical, mental, spiritual and emotional capacity is packaged. That capacity is dispersed through our God-given human energy. At the end of each day, our batteries need to be recharged.

There are some responsibilities you carry as a leader that tend to zap and drain your energy more than others. Things like a confrontational conversation that carries emotional intensity, or working on complex details of your church budget. But you must still do them anyway.

There are other things we do as leaders that consume and deplete our energy that we don’t have to do, and in fact should stop doing.

The scary thing is that they are sometimes embedded in our habits in such a way that we don’t realize we’re doing them. And even more scary, sometimes we do know and do them anyway.

So, I’ve written an important list of things that if you stop doing, you’ll accomplish more, realize a rise in your stamina (energy), and overall experience a higher level of satisfaction.

This is a unique list of practical items that don’t fit within one specific category and yet are essential for you and me as leaders to make sure we stop doing.

(Note: There are entire categories not included, such as your spiritual life, practical ministry, etc.)

Which one(s) speaks to you today?

7 Things Leaders Should Stop Doing:

1) Worrying about what others think of you.

You will be misunderstood, and you will make unpopular decisions, and not everyone will like you. If you lay awake at night worrying about these things, they’ll eat you alive.

It’s not easy, but let it go. That doesn’t mean you become callous and/or pretend you don’t care. It means do the right things, with wise counsel, and keep going.

2) Procrastinating difficult conversations.

If you’ve been leading for a while, you know that putting off a tough conversation only makes it worse. You will likely imagine it more difficult than it will actually be, which is energy draining, and the delay allows the problem to become larger.

Don’t move so fast that you are not prepared, but facing the tough conversations quickly often gives energy.

When you have the difficult conversation, you feel a sense of accomplishment, and often relief, because it went better than you expected.

Left unsolved, mistakes get bigger not better.

3) Showing up unprepared.

I know what it’s like to have a full schedule, with many things required of me and a to-do list that’s never done. It’s tempting to show up unprepared, almost “justifiable,” but it’s never a good idea.

In everything from the next talk you’ll give, to a meeting you’ll lead, the anxiety caused by not being prepared drains far more energy needed to prepare. And of course, you never feel good about it afterward.

4) Focusing on results over relationships.

As a leader, you are expected to produce results and simultaneously develop relationships. This is never easy, and it nearly always creates pressure if you allow results to rise above relationships.

Focusing on results over relationships may seem expedient at the moment, even pressure relieving, but over the long haul, it’s costly. The relational price tag is incredibly draining.

The bottom line is that over time, if you tend to genuine nurture and development of relationships, while you work diligently toward results, the fruit of your ministry will be greater and last longer.

5) Expecting those who follow you to know what you’re thinking.

There are two items on this list that speak to me personally, and this is one.

In some strange way, I have occasionally caught myself assuming others around me should know what I’m thinking. Perhaps I have allowed myself to assume something like, “Well, we’ve worked together a long time, they should know.” No, they shouldn’t.

That kind of faulty assumption is an energy killer because it wastes so much time, and it’s often counterproductive. If left unchecked over time, it can even cause conflict.

Speak up, make yourself clear, let those you work with know what you’re thinking.

5 Ways to Become a Better Kidmin Leader

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Here are 5 ways to become a better kidmin leader. As leaders of children, families and volunteers it is crucial that we continue to grow personally. We should never stop learning, growing, and becoming better leaders. John Maxwell says, “People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.” That being said, here are five sure-fire ways for all of us to become better leaders.

1. Read
I am sure this is not new news to anyone reading this. To be honest, I have struggled with this one because I’m not a person who naturally loves reading. I’m learning the importance of reading “helpful” books as a leader and I think it’s important to diversify your reading as much as possible. Don’t just read one type of book or books written by one author. For example, in the last couple of months I have read Talk Now and Later by Brian Dollar (a family ministry/parenting book), Cultivating a Cutting Edge Children’s Ministry by Dick Gruber (a children’s ministry book), and I am currently reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (a personal improvement book). My goal at the beginning of the year was to read one book a month. I am not quite meeting that goal, but I am a work in progress.

2. Blog
I will stop right now and say that blogging probably isn’t for everyone. I never would have considered myself a writer, but since I started blogging, my writing has improved tremendously. If you have thought about starting a blog, but are hesitant, just do it! If nothing else, it will improve your writing skills and help you organize your thoughts. That’s how kidmincorinne.com got started. It was just a place for me to organize my thoughts on events and set designs.

3. Network
Some people love networking and it comes easily to them, while others shudder at the thought. Networking can take many different shapes, though. You can network with other kidmin/pastoral leaders via Facebook groups, conferences and local gatherings. If your area doesn’t have a kid’s ministry group that meets regularly, start one. It’s simple—create a Facebook group, and start inviting people to join. Kid’s ministry can be a very lonely position, so don’t miss out on the opportunity to connect, learn and grow with other kidmin leaders.

4. Research
There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. If you are looking for new and fresh ideas for your kids’ ministry check out what other kids’ ministries are doing. You can do this online via Facebook, Pinterest and church websites, or you can hop in the car and visit some of the local churches in your area. You may want to give the Children’s Pastor a call before you drop in during a service time so they know you are coming to observe.

5. Pray
I have saved the best for last. Nothing will ever replace spending time in prayer and personal devotion time with God. We can try to be great leaders on our own, and we will burn out faster than a cheap candle from Dollar Tree. We need God’s strength, wisdom and loving support to help us become the best leaders we can possibly be. Lean on Him, and He will give you more than you need every time.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of ways to become a better kidmin leader. I am personally learning to grow as a leader in all of these areas constantly. What about you? What are some things you are doing to help yourself become a better kidmin leader.

This article originally appeared here.

The Reminder Every Youth Leader Needs

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I have a theory.

It’s about youth leaders.

I believe that down deep inside the heart of every youth leader worth his/her salt, there is a gospel ember burning. For some it’s just a smolder. For others it’s white hot. For most it’s somewhere in between.

But it’s there, waiting to be found, fanned and fueled … until it’s burning out of control and consuming everything and everyone in sight.

Sure, for many it’s hard to spot because it’s quietly sizzling under mounds of books and calendars and programs. You may have to look closely … but it is there.

Remember the Gospel

God has blessed me with the privilege of speaking to youth leaders all across the nation and I have met only a small minority who didn’t get into youth ministry with the goal of seeing kids come to Christ and grow in their relationship with Him.

Sometimes they just need to be gently reminded.

I saw this in action a few months ago when I was invited into a youth ministry classroom of sorts, filled with both youth leaders deepening their education and young seminarians. The professor was seeking to set up a dichotomy between my philosophy of youth ministry and his. He had a distinct and well-honed view, which he articulated very effectively. He knew my view was centered around mobilizing teenagers to advance the Gospel and, in the spirit of good natured, pedagogical polemics (I had to look that word up), he sought to set our views against each other before he turned over the microphone to me.

But I knew his background was outreach and youth ministry.

So, when it was my turn to share, I simply asked him, “Don’t you have a background in reaching teenagers for Jesus?” He said, “Yes.” I continued, “And, down deep inside, after all the training you’ve gone through and the degrees you’ve earned, isn’t that still at the root of why you love youth ministry?” His eyes began to well up a bit and he admitted, “Yes.” Then I turned to the audience of students and said, “Isn’t that why all of you got into youth ministry too?”

There were nodding heads across the room.

The Burning Ember Theory worked even in a classroom setting.

As Paul reminded timid Tim in 2 Timothy 1:6, “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.” 

Let’s find, fan and fuel that Gospel ember in our hearts until it’s burning out of control!

6 Things Pastors Do to Kill Church Growth

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Believe it or not, pastors can actually kill church growth even when they want it desperately. Over the last 10 years, I’ve had the privilege of consulting with hundreds of churches on leadership development, strategic planning, church construction and church growth.

Most of the time, church leaders want to focus on what they should do to grow their church. In reality, the quickest way to get your church unstuck is to STOP doing a few things.

Here are six things pastors do to kill church growth:

1. Stop using positive reinforcement as a guide or you’ll kill church growth.

Everyone loves a pat on the back; I know I do. If, however, your church is stuck, you can’t use people’s affirmation of the work you’re doing as an indicator of success.

The truth is, your church is perfectly designed to be the size it is right now. That means, for church growth to happen, you’re going to have to make changes.

Resistance always accompanies change. Hopefully, you will continue to receive affirmation, but don’t count on it. Use resistance as your guide. If what you’re doing feels good, you’re probably not doing it right.

2. Stop reinventing the wheel or you’ll kill church growth.

Every pastor who has ever planted a church has probably had the thought that they were going to revolutionize the church. I think God gives that audacity to make them crazy enough to do it.

Whether you’re planting a church or you’re replanting one, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Yes, you’ll have leadership tactics that are unique to you and your church, but you also need a strategy. You can borrow that strategy from other churches that have already done what you’re trying to do. Every moment you spend re-inventing how to grow a church is another moment you’ll spend in the “early struggle” phase of growing a church.

The trick is to get out of that phase as quickly as possible.

3. Stop letting people do you favors or you’ll kill church growth.

For years, I led a parking team at my church. If I’m being honest, I can tell you for much of that time I was helping out because that’s where the church needed help. That’s not a terrible thing, but it did leave me with the feeling that I was doing my church a favor.

Now I lead a high school small group every Sunday. I’m volunteering four times as much, and the idea of doing “favors” hasn’t crossed my mind. The reason is because I’m in the right spot now.

If you don’t have a solid process for helping people discover and serve in their area of gifting and passion, you’ll always have a crowd of people who aren’t really committed to service. They’re just doing favors, and there is no real passion in that.

Want to Reach New People? These 10 Habits Set Your Church Back

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What is the first-time guest experience really like at your church?

When my team at The Unstuck Group helps a church assess ministry health, one key step we take is to attend and review the church’s weekend experience through the lens of an outsider.

That’s because once you see what an outsider sees, you can’t unsee it.

Serving in 100+ churches each year, we’ve started to notice some patterns.

What are the most common offenses? Here are the Top 10—the biggest issues with the weekend that we see the most often.

Keep in mind, these are only issues for churches that actually want to reach new people…

One last thing before I get to the list: Many of these issues show up in the “secret shopper” reports for large churches just as often as in small churches.

1. The Guest Services Area Is Staffed With People Who Don’t Engage With Newcomers.

The church feels like a private club. Guest service team members are more engaged with one another than with newcomers.

Guest services are the “first” in “first impressions.” If this team is off, my visit is off within minutes.

2. The Church Didn’t Welcome Me and Help Me Know What to Expect.

There’s a general lack of guiding visitors through the worship experience and explaining what to do in the different elements of the services, like singing, offering, etc.

Specifically welcoming new people is frequently missed. Someone yells “welcome” and then all of a sudden people start standing up, and then they sing. The only place I sing is in my car or in my shower. Guide me a little more. Invite me to sing, but give me permission to just take it in.

3. People on Stage Don’t Reflect the Church’s Target “Customer.”

The people on the platform should non-verbally communicate this is a safe place, a normal place, to the people you are trying to reach…just by being who they are.

Many times the platform presence doesn’t reflect that. A lot of churches miss the “75 percent rule”—having 75 percent of people on the platform in the same age range (or below) as the people you are trying to reach. (Credit to Lee Kricher in For a New Generation for defining it well).

4. The service order feels like an assembly of separate parts, rather than a cohesive experience.

Stop…start…stop…start… Nothing makes me check my watch more than a herky-jerky service. We sing two songs, there’s a video announcement, there are live announcements, we have a song for offering, message, another song, communion, closing announcement, benediction…

An unchurched person will be thinking, “Get me out. Land the plane.

5. The Message Is Too Long.

Especially if there were already a lot of other service elements (see the last point), I’m not gassed up for a 45-50 minute message. Tighten it up, add a story, make it applicable and send me on my way.

6. Lack of Application or Next Steps in the Message.

I’ve given you an hour—give me something specific to take away that applies to my real life today.

7. Lack of Security in the Children’s Area.

If I can walk off the street into your kid’s area, that’s a problem.

My team often finds unlocked, dark rooms in the same hallway as kids programming, along with unattended external exits.

This is an issue we see far, far too often.

8. The Bulletins/Programs Are Too Crowded.

It looks like the Cheesecake Factory menu. What on earth am I supposed to choose to pay attention to?

This is a key first impression piece for a new person. It should welcome them, tell them what to expect and provide key info on kids ministry.

Unfortunately, many churches view it as the way to keep all the insiders informed.

The Truth About Your Men’s Ministry—How You Can Find Deeper Growth

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Almost every pastor will admit their church is deficient in the area of men’s ministry.

Men are a strategic force for change in the world, and they have an enemy, and it’s not what you think. It’s apathy. It is the appeal of inaction that lies within every man’s heart.

Despite what we may have heard, no man can truly thrive as a loner. According to Vince Miller, former pastor and now a popular men’s ministry speaker, “Men need interaction with others, and especially other men.”

Only 10 percent of the churches in America have an active men’s ministry. But surprisingly all that is needed for a men’s ministry to work is for a church to have a pastor that is committed to it, a man who wants to lead and the infrastructure to support it.

While the culture would attempt to silence the voice of men by attacking their masculinity, exaggerating male short-comings and belittling their Christian worldview, Christians believe this is not the answer. We believe men are a strategic audience and force for change in the world and that God ordained men with power, authority and the opportunity to define the world around them.

Miller, now the CEO and founder of Be Resolute Men’s Ministry https://beresolute.org/, was raised by an atheist single mother, but it was his Christian grandfather that spent hours mentoring him how to be a man. When his grandfather passed, Vince spent the next 20 years trying to find another man like his grandfather to mentor him. He asked two to five men each year. Every one of them said no, and the excuses were the same. Some said they didn’t have the time, and others admitted not knowing how.

Miller saw that men wanted to become better, but didn’t know how. “Each man has a silent voice that entices him to say and do nothing when God has called him into action,” he said. His personal rejections of mentorship spurred Miller to study how men thought, spoke and interacted with each other. These observations led him to to create a mentoring system for men that would remove both of the objections. He wrote Thirty Virtues That Build Men, a short book with 30 principles, two pages each.

In Thirty Virtues That Build Men, Miller applied what he learned. It includes starting with a goal. “What man doesn’t love that?” says Miller, “and [it] takes the guesswork out of a spiritual conversation and allows men to brother up with a friend, neighbor, church member or relative. By unpacking their thoughts with another man, it results in a rich spiritual payoff.”

Vince says when you hand a man the book, invite him out to coffee and ask him to mentor you, the two obstacles are removed. “Every man has time for coffee and the book provides all of the the structure you need.” he said. He has seen this method of men’s mentorship change men’s lives, and their family changed because of it. According to Miller, “When you change a man you change a community.”

Find Tools to Grow Your Men’s Ministry Today

SBC Leader Charged With 1997 Sexual Assault of a Teenager

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A former employee of the South Carolina Baptist Convention and International Mission Board has been charged in Texas with sexually assaulting a teenager 21 years ago. Mark Aderholt was charged with the sexual assault of a child under 17, according to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. He was arrested on July 3 and released on bond on July 9.

Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary confirmed to Baptist Press that Aderholt was a student at the seminary when the crime allegedly was committed. He graduated in 2000 with a master of divinity degree.

Sgt. Karen Standback, an Arlington police spokeswoman, told the Star-Telegram that she could not release information about the case.

Aderholt resigned as the associate executive director and chief strategist for the South Carolina Baptist Convention (SCBC) on June 19. The SCBC released a statement announcing Aderholt had resigned after a year and a half and that SCBC executive director Gary Hollingsworth received the resignation with “a heavy heart.” The initial statement did not, however, give a reason for the resignation.

He previously served several months as interim pastor for the Lakeside Fellowship Church in Roanoke, Virginia, now known as Freedom Fellowship of Roanoke, according to the church’s website. During that time, his wife, Kristi, served as children’s minister for the same church.

Aderholt also formerly served as the missionary to Eastern Europe for the International Mission Board (IMB), an organization affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. He’s cited as having served in Bulgaria and Slovakia, among others. In 2000, Aderholt and his wife were appointed as missionaries to the Central and Eastern Europe region.

Baptist Press reported that the IMB learned about the charges against him from the Star-Telegram’s July 9 report. IMB spokesperson Julie McGowan told BP, “It is our policy to cooperate with criminal investigations.”

McGowan said in written comments to BP that “IMB has a zero-tolerance policy against sexual misconduct that is shared with all personnel. If anyone has knowledge of a case involving sexual misconduct, we strongly encourage them to come forward, and we provide multiple avenues for them to report. When we are informed of possible cases of sexual misconduct of any kind, we investigate those situations immediately and, if warranted, take the appropriate action to report it to local authorities and remove individuals from IMB employment.”

What You Need to Know About Mandated Reporting for Abuse

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Here is Basic Guidance on mandated reporting for abuse from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

Many states require pastors and church leaders to report allegations of abuse.  If you are a pastor, do you feel comfortable in your ability to follow the laws on mandated reporting for abuse?

In this video, Brad Hambrick, the pastor of counseling at the Summit Church in North Carolina, answers the questions of when to report and what should a pastor do if a report isn’t required.

What You Need to Know About Mandated Reporting for Abuse

Laws about mandated reporting for abuse vary from state to state but generally speaking Hambrick said mandated reporting for abuse is required if it involves abuse against a minor.

Abuse is defined as:

  • Inflicting or allowing non-accidental, serious physical injury
  • Creating or allowing a substantial risk of non-accidental, serious physical injury
  • Using or allowing cruel or grossly inappropriate procedures or devices to modify behavior
  • Committing, permitting, or encouraging the rape of the child or other sexual crimes
  • Creating or allowing serious emotional damage to the child
  • Encouraging, directing, or approving delinquent acts involving moral turpitude committed by the child

Pastors are also expected to report neglect based on these criteria:

  • Does not receive proper care, supervision, or discipline
  • Abandonment
  • Not provided necessary medical care
  • Lives in an environment injurious to the child’s welfare
  • Has been placed for care or adoption in violation of the law

Hambrick warns that many may fail in their reporting responsibilities because they’re unsure if abuse truly occurred. But he points out that a “reasonable suspicion” is all that the law requires and the authorities don’t expect pastors or others to be investigators. They have trained social workers to vet the charges.

When it comes to mandated reporting for abuse against an adult, the abuse victim is granted the choice of pressing charges or not. Hambrick said allowing the victim to make the decision of whether or not to report the alleged crime is part of restoring their voice and giving them back a sense of control over the major events of their life.

Another area for church leaders to consider is church discipline or confrontation with the accused abuser.

Hambrick said the church should stay out of the process until the victim has a plan and is emotionally ready to withstand the reaction of the abuser. “Premature confrontation of the abuser,” Hambrick warns, “places the disciplinary responsibilities of the church ahead of the well-being of the abused spouse. Discipline should happen WHEN–AFTER the abused spouse is ready for the additional distress this will bring.”

Hambrick acknowledges this is a difficult topic for pastors but points out “when someone talks to you about their experience of abuse they are giving you a high compliment. This kind of disclosure is risky and vulnerable. The level of trust they are investing in you speaks to how much they trust you and value your friendship. Because God loves the oppressed (Psalm 9:9) we must take seriously our call to be both God’s ambassadors and part of His refuge.”

A Slanderous Lie “The Church in America Is Dying”

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“…and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18).

Have you come across that line yet? “The church in America is dying”?

We hear it from some pollsters and from people all over social media. They count heads and conclude that if membership numbers are down or if fewer Baptists are serving in Congress or the Catholic church is having internal problems, the church must be dying.

We get the impression that the speaker—the one with the harsh pronouncement—wishes it were so.

Not so fast.

Few things fire me up more than someone saying, “The church in America is dying.” I’m completely convinced that is entirely wrong and completely asinine. It’s an insult to the Lord Jesus Christ about His church, slander against the thousands upon thousands of faithful congregations hard at work, desperately trying to get it right, and is completely at odds with the real evidence.

In the midst of just such a discussion, someone pointed out that it may well be true that nominal church membership in America has declined. And that membership numbers of mainstream churches are dwindling. Even if we concede this, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s not like there aren’t ten thousand churches in America that are thriving—and thriving in the best sense of the word.

“Well, the numbers indicate…” Anyone who knows the first thing about Scripture surely knows the Lord never put a prize on huge numbers.

To make a case for that, the church of pre-Constantine days, persecuted and driven underground, was stronger and more vibrant than it became once the Emperor legalized Christianity and when pomp and pageantry became the order of the day. The larger numbers and overflowing coffers were accompanied by a lessening of the persecution God’s people had lived under, but church historians have long noted that the church of the Lord Jesus Christ does not fare well when politicians take ownership. As has been said, when we mix religion and politics, we get politics.

Throughout the centuries, at any given time some churches will be dead and others on life support. Nothing new about that. Toward the end of the first century, the ascended Lord Jesus said of the church at Sardis, “You have a name that you are alive, but you are dead” (Revelation 3:1). So, nothing in this piece should be interpreted as denying that some churches have died on the vine. And even if an entire denomination ceases to exist, that is a far cry from saying the church itself is on the way out.

God’s people—and everyone interested in truth—must be cautious in making such sweeping statements as “the church is dying in America” or even that a particular denomination has called in hospice.

There are non-indicators of life in churches, all would agree.

Big attendance may prove nothing other than the church has a popular speaker or that neighborhood is experiencing a rapid influx of church-goers. Lots of meetings and a full slate of activity does not prove that Jesus Christ is in that place. Noise. Fancy doodads. Lots of money. You can have them without being alive in Christ.

So, smaller attendance in church congregations, fewer television evangelists or a decline in seminary enrollment may indicate a lot of things, but not necessarily that the cause of Christ is being abandoned.

So, what would be indicators of life in God’s people?

 

One. Fruit.

The fruit in a Christian’s life and in a Christian church could be of a great variety, but these two predominate: people being saved and the saved becoming more like Jesus. Evangelism and spiritual growth. Anyone been saved in your church lately?

Two. Called Out.

The call to missions, to pastor churches, to do bold and innovative things in furthering the gospel of Jesus Christ are signs of health in a church. Has your church ordained anyone to the ministry lately?

Three. Vibrant Youth.

One pastor said, “In talking to the youth in our church, I was amazed at their faith in Christ and their love for the Lord.” How are the young people in your church?

Four. Love.

When you see God’s people loving the unlovely and showing genuine care for people whom they have nothing in common with, you know it’s a God thing. Anyone in your church who doesn’t look like the rest of you?

Five. The Scriptures.

More love for the Word, and a devotion to studying and obeying it, as well as distributing it—these are great indicators of life in a congregation. How is the Bible study in your congregation?

Six. Forgiveness.

Dealing with past sins—wrongs and omissions—mental health, etc. Over the last few years, our denomination (the SBC) has passed resolutions confessing and apologizing for racism and other wrongs. A good sign.

Seven. Church planting.

Even as some churches are always dying for a hundred reasons, a sign of vitality in a denomination is new church plants. In my former hometown of New Orleans, I’m told there are many new congregations of all types, many of them Baptist, but certainly not all. Good.

Eight. Sacrifice.

Sacrificial giving and living. When you see people denying themselves in order to minister to the hurting and needy, that’s a sign of health, an evidence of the presence of Christ in that life.

Nine. Outreach to the poor.

Defending the poor, the orphans, the needy, the voiceless and defenseless is a huge deal with our God, as found in both Testaments. My friend Stan Buckley, founder and leader of “But God Ministries,” based here in Jackson, Miss., shared with some of us recently about their presence in Haiti with medical clinics, homebuilding and a holistic approach. Then, BGM went a step further and established a similar ministry in the poorest town in the Mississippi Delta.

Those are nine indicators of health. You’ll think of more.

God is at work today, perhaps moreso than any time in my life, working in churches and parachurch ministries and God-called ministers.

These days, in my retirement ministry, I’m in a different church almost every week. What is delightful is to find rural churches of less than a hundred in attendance involved in world missions. Several times a year, I preach in Centreville, MS’s Baptist Church. In almost every instance when I’m there, it’s because Pastor Dennis Johnsey is with a missions team from that church in Ukraine or somewhere across the globe.

Another church where I spoke recently, the people were ministering in Belize. My son and daughter-in-law were in Puerto Rico this week with a group from their church in Mobile, Ala., putting roofs on people’s homes.

Those ministries rarely show up on anyone’s polls or stat sheets.

I can hear the detractors saying, “We’re not saying there are no healthy churches and no solid Christians. Only that the church is on its way out here in the affluent western world.” And I answer…

Be careful that you do not slander the Bride of Christ. When you pronounce a denomination dead or even one church dead, you’d better be on firm footing and know what you’re talking about.

It’s just possible the Lord is doing far more than you can see. Just possible.

This article originally appeared here.

July – Improve System Security Month!

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While speaking at a conference recently, a cybersecurity expert whose company offers email user testing and training stated that KnowBe4.com’s solution was the best they’d ever seen. Little did they know I was in negotiations on The Church’s behalf with KnowBe4!

What Is It?
KnowBe4 is a subscription-based solution that allows an organization to send what looks like SPAM emails to users that include links, etc. The solution tracks who clicks on the links, and when they do, adds them to a group whose members must watch a short training video online to learn what to avoid. Watching the video removes them from the group.

I’m aware of organizations whose users started at an 80% or higher click-rate. They saw the solution to educate their team and get the percentage to under 10%. The results are a more secure user community, and improved security and safety for the organization.

What’s The Deal?
KnowBe4 offers a 10% discount to not-for-profit organizations, with an additional discount of 25% for a three-year subscription. So, they normally offer up to 35% in savings to charities.

Through our negotiations, KnowBe4 offered to add an additional 20% discount to any who say they were referred by MBS, and who contact a specific employee of theirs to sign up! That means you can get a 35% – 55% discount just by telling Tiffany Yeager (727.877.8226 or tiffanyy@knowbe4.com) you were referred by MBS! (As always, MBS makes nothing on your referral business, as per our by-laws.)

MBS Recommends Their Platinum Package
KnowBe4 offers a few packages; we believe the best for churches and ministries is their Platinum Package.

It’s July– a good month to improve your system security. This is a great way to do so!

The original article appeared here.

A New Approach to Recruiting Leaders

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It’s the time of year for every children’s ministry worker…you know, right? It’s Volunteer Recruitment Time! Our church did an amazing job of educating the entire church body on service and calling them to commit to an area of service inside or outside the church. It’s been amazing to watch people, young and old, step up to serve all across the church.

As I talked with those who have committed to serving in the preteen ministry, I’m trying a new approach. Normally when we find a great volunteer with high leadership capacity, we hold onto that person for dear life and never let them graduate out of our ministry area. I know that my tactic in the past was to push people into the holes that I thought needed to be filled rather than really listening to their heart and providing an opportunity to serve in the place that God is leading them. This year is different.

My approach involves three things: vision, celebration and a question.

I begin by casting the vision for what we want our preteen small groups to be. And a HUGE part of that is calling the leaders to commit to spending two years with the same group. We want them to at least spend the 5th and 6th grade years walking alongside the same group of boys or girls. And instead of desperately trying to hold on to them, we encourage them to move into student ministry with their group. We just believe that this will be the best setup for life-change in the lives of students. But this takes a big decision and big commitment. That leads perfectly to the next part.

To help them see why this is so important and why we are asking them to make such a big commitment, we celebrate leaders who have done so already. We have leaders that have been with the same group of kids for several years and it is evident that their commitment has led to great fruit. We talk about those leaders and the effectiveness of their service. We share story after story of how leaders were able to be a part of a students decision to trust Christ, their baptism and their spiritual growth. We talk about how leaders have guided students through tough times because they were trusted mentors by the child and the parents. Just hearing these stories helps a person to see how their investment can lead to life-change.

Finally, I just ask them if they are able and willing to make that commitment. If they can’t make that commitment, it doesn’t mean we don’t want them to serve. There are places for them to serve, but leading a small group may not be the best fit.

We want to provide the most optimum environment for life change, and that means we must set the bar high for our leaders. We’re not 100 percent there yet, but my prayer is that over the next few years we reach a point where we no longer have to ask them to make such a commitment because it is just the norm.

This article originally appeared here.

4 Reminders in Your Depression

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Last December, I went through a deep depression, one of the worst seasons I’ve experienced. Depression can often settle in my soul for a few days, and then leave as quickly as it came. This was different. This lasted for weeks and with a weightiness I wasn’t prepared for and it touched every area of my life.

The more I’ve explored the condition of depression and the Christian life, I’ve seen it’s a common thread among many believers. Everyone from King David to the great Charles Spurgeon experienced what he called great ‘soul sickness.’

In my depression, the Father gave me four verses that I clung to for hope and life during this time:

  1. When nothing satisfies your weary soul, remember only He can.

David reflects on what I think encapsulates the entire Christian life in one verse. Ps. 107:9 says: “For he satisfies the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.” What do we do when our souls will not be satisfied, when there’s a deep, hunger-producing depression that sits heavy on our souls? We remind ourselves that God has designed us to only be fully satisfied in Him. This, I think, is a powerful sign and marker of depression in our lives. It’s a potent emotional state that reminds us in heavy ways that only the Eternal One can give our souls what they need.

In my depression, I knew my soul was hungry. Compulsively hungry for relief and satisfaction, affirmation, approval, pleasure, completion. I begged God to show up, to answer me when I called and to fill my hungry soul. Then he gave me this verse, his promise to satisfy my soul and fill it with good things. What this verse does not promise is relief from the thirst and hunger. This is natural part of living in this broken, beautiful world, and that brokenness falls on each of us in different ways. What He promises is better, it’s a promise to satisfy my soul in the thirst and in the hunger he will fill my soul with the good things that only come from Him. This is far better than relief from the darkness of depression alone.

  1. He is always faithful to his promises. Always.

The writer of Hebrews says this: “For he who promised is faithful” (10:23). There it is, tucked away right before the infamous hall of faith is this powerful declaration from God regarding his character. Any promise we see in Scripture is intrinsically linked to the character of God and his faithfulness not only to his people, but his own glory. When depression hits, we can be reminded that God does not promise like we promise. His promises aren’t hanging by the thread of human memory, ability or faithfulness, but on the essence and character of God. A promise from God is synonymous with a guarantee, because it flows out of the mouth of One who is always faithfulTwo words that can not be said about any of us men or women, whose frame is but dust. Yet often we read promises and hope God remembers, or is able, or will actually follow through on his word. He will, because he is always faithful.

So when God whispers to us that he will satisfy our thirsty souls, you can rest assured, even in your depression, that your soul will be satisfied if you run to the One who is always faithful to his promises.

Deceived and Being Deceived: Trumpets Sometimes Blow Wrong Notes

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

“If the trumpet makes an uncertain sound, who will prepare for battle?” (I Corinthians 14:8). 

A woman in a friend’s Sunday School class took exception to his reading a passage from The Message, the paraphrase of Scripture from the highly esteemed Eugene Peterson. “It’s evil,” she said. She will not be back to that church.

And if you think she’ll be spreading the word that that church is liberal and has gone over to the dark side, I’m betting you’ll be right.

An evangelist asked a man what translation of Scriptures he was reading from. “The NASB,” he said. “The MacArthur Study Bible.” “That’s a terrible translation,” he said. “It’s wrong. And wicked.” Just so easily does he dismiss the work of hundreds of biblical scholars who know far more about Hebrew and Greek and the ancient manuscripts than that evangelist (or this preacher!) can learn in several lifetimes.

One of two things is true. Either the attacker is correct and the overwhelming majority of God’s redeemed are deceived. Or, the attacker has been deceived, is seriously misguided and is now slandering a huge part of the family of God. The latter, I believe, is the case.

Speaking of deceiving and being deceived…

The Friday June 22, 2018, issue of our Clarion-Ledger carried a full-page advertisement from some end-of-the-world people who did not name themselves other than to give their website: www.worldslastchance.com.

According to these doomsdayers, what we are on the eve of beholding is “the seven prophetic trumpets outlined in the Book of Revelation.” These trumpets “represent the Father’s last call of mercy. His final effort to awaken humanity from spiritual blindness and to prepare us for the Second Coming of His Son.”

The seven trumpets are found in Revelation chapters 8-11. For two thousand years, scholars and laypeople alike have read those passages and wondered at their meanings. Some have come up with interpretations and possibilities, but the centuries (and history) have not been good to their theories. But now, apparently, someone has it all figured out. Enough so that they are willing to fork out thousands of dollars to alert humanity to the coming disasters.

In the first trumpet, one-third of all trees and all crops will be destroyed (Revelation 8:7). The second trumpet (8:8-9) says a third of all shipping vessels and sea life will be destroyed. The third trumpet (8:10-11) will destroy all fresh water sources. The article omits the fourth trumpet (8:12) which is going to take away one-third of the sun, moon and stars.

At this point, after the fourth trumpet, the article says, “The powers that be will utterly panic.” Boy, I’ll bet that’s right. And before they can recover, God’s fifth trumpet will sound—ushering in “the most horrifying event in human history: a celestial (sic) invasion of demons posing as ‘aliens.’” While Revelation 9:1ff calls these locusts, we will grant they are demons. Why the article’s writers decided they will pose as aliens is anyone’s guess. And they are celestial? Meaning “from heaven”?

And here’s where it gets interesting…

The demonic aliens will force humanity to rush to a world leader, none other than Pope Francis himself. The head of the Roman Catholic church will emerge as the leader of the world. And the writers of the article even tell us what the Pope will do. “The first thing on Francis’ agenda will be the exaltation of Sunday as a universal day of worship.” The writers reveal their bias when they point out that in reality “Sunday is a counterfeit day of worship and has nothing at all to do with the biblical Sabbath.” OK. We have some legalistic Judaizing Adventists getting their licks in, looks like.

All we have to do is start worshiping on Saturday.

The result of all this is to split the world into two camps: the majority following the Pope and a small remnant choosing to worship on the Sabbath. Believe it or don’t.

At this point, the article says, “Is your jaw on the floor?” Well, sort of. I’m amazed at the sheer foolishness of this. But let us continue…

The article urges us to go to their website “to learn more about the lies that you have been told by every organization that you thought you could trust.’” Every organization? Every one? Even the PTA? The American Automobile Association? Sams Club?

It ends by agreeing that many people will call them crazy. “But what if they are right?” they ask. “Crazy just might save your eternal soul.”

Get that? Moving the day of worship from Sunday to Saturday “just might save your eternal soul.”

The article forewarns us that “there is so much more we want to share with you.” Uh oh. They’re not through yet?

10 Ways to Plan an Amazing Sermon Series

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Church members love sermon series and here are 10 ways to plan an amazing sermon series.

1. Leverage the seasons when folks are most likely to attend church.

I like to launch new series that have a more outreach focus when people are more likely to attend services and invite their friends. Those seasons are cyclical. They depend on where you are located. Obviously, Christmas and Easter are two common times when people are likely to attend church.

2. Find the right balance between “reach people” series and “grow people” series.

There will always be tension here, but the objective is to try to balance out using services to attract a crowd and help people take their next steps in their spiritual journey. At West Ridge, we’ve actually color-coded our teaching calendar to make sure we maintain a healthy balance.

3. Use a variety of approaches to begin your series development.

Teach on a topic one series. Teach through a book of the Bible in another series. Teach a series of messages on a specific biblical character. Use a series to teach through a specific doctrine. Mix up your approach.

4. Address questions that people are asking.

Our tendency is to deliver only the information we want people to hear. People will not engage our teaching unless we are addressing the issues they are facing in their daily life. A friend of mine routinely reviews the headlines of women’s magazines to get a sense of the topics that people are discussing in today’s culture.

5. Deliver biblical truth and life application.

Your teaching will not produce life change unless you also provide life application. Without application, people may experience conviction or inspiration, but they won’t know what to do with that. Make it a goal in every message to clearly identify one next step for people to take to apply what they’ve learned.

6. Shoot for 8 to 10 series throughout the year.

Your average series should be 4 to 6 weeks. If you’re teaching through a book and it needs to go longer than that, try to break it up into multiple series. Every time you start a series, it creates an opportunity for people to invite their friends. You want more opportunities for people to invite their friends.

7. Plan ahead.

You can wait until Saturday to finish your message, but try to at least outline your topics a couple of months in advance. When you do that, you free up creative people to plan series packaging, service elements, and creative communications to enhance your teaching. You also provide time for appropriate promotions to occur.

8. Plan with a team.

One team may drive the topics that are addressed throughout the year. Another team may drive the series packaging, including identifying titles and visual images. Another team may develop the services elements and execution. Whatever the case, the end result will always be better when you have the right people engaged in a team approach.

9. Remember the people who already attend your church are your best promotions vehicle.

You can spend a lot of money on advertising or direct mail, but the number one way new people will attend your services is through an invitation from someone who already attends your church. Want more people to show up? Make it easier for people to invite their friends.

10. Pastors should teach, and artists should be creative.

The series I’ve experienced with the biggest impact both numerically and in life change have occurred when artists let the pastor drive the teaching and pastors let the artists drive the creative elements. The pastors control this. If they’re willing to empower artists, God can use this creativity to prepare people’s hearts for the message. 

The Vicious Cycle You Need to Fear: The Lonely Use of Porn

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

American youth are considered to be the loneliest in the world. That’s according to former Surgeon General Doctor Vivek Murthy. He describes loneliness as “the subjective feeling of having inadequate social connections.” Those feelings and thoughts are toxic and making our youth physically, emotionally and mentally sick.

And the problem isn’t unique to the United States.

The BBC reported earlier this month that Childline has seen a 14 percent rise in the number of children contacting the charity about loneliness.

In much of the western world, loneliness, isolation, despair and depression appear to be increasing along with rates of teen suicide.

Many blame social media and mobile devices. The kids see their friends socialize without them on social media, making them feel increasingly isolated.

Study Finds Connection Between Pornography and Loneliness

But some are also blaming pornography.

The Institute for Family Studies has released a new study that finds a significant amount of screen time is also spent accessing pornography, which may also be a notable contributor to teen loneliness, isolation and relationship void.

Researcher Mark Butler said their study suggests a close and painful partnership between pornography and loneliness for some users. The IFS survey of over 1,000 individuals around the world resulted in a statistical model that suggests an association between pornography use and loneliness, each increasing in tandem with the other.

Butler wrote of their findings: “If loneliness can lead to pornography use, and pornography use may bring about or intensify loneliness, these circular linkages may create a vicious cycle, pulling the user even further from health-promoting relationship connections. In the cultural context of emotionally-disconnected sexual hookups scripted by pornography, loneliness may deepen and become increasingly painful, yet in response, pornography use may only intensify.”

Another relationship between loneliness and pornography was uncovered by breaking down the study demographically.

The fact that pornography use decreases after marriage may hint at a link between pornography, relational success and loneliness. “Are those who use pornography less likely to achieve relational success and marry? Or does relational success in marriage remove the loneliness trigger for pornography use—or both?” Butler asked.

The IFS research also found that pornography use in the context of relationships is associated with relationship distress and attachment disruption, leaving the pair bond vulnerable.

Church Leaders Warn Pornography and Loneliness Will Damage Home

The science leads additional credence to warnings about pornography from many evangelical leaders.

Recently, evangelist Beth Moore of Living Proof Ministries urged married Christian couples to remove pornography from their lives, warning that they will “burn down” their home if they use it.

“Listen, I didn’t have the kind of childhood that afforded me the luxury of naivety. Wish I had. This comes from 6 decades of real living & 4 decades of actively serving in a position where I see incalculable wreckage & hear innumerable stories. GET PORNOGRAPHY OUT OF YOUR HOME,” Moore wrote on Twitter.

“Christian married couples, honestly, what the heck are you doing?!?” she asked.

“You think you’re lighting up your sex life and you’re burning down your home. WITH YOUR KIDS IN IT.”

The research also found that pornography sidesteps the divine purpose of sex.

“When pornography is used to trigger the sexual system,” Butler wrote of the IFS findings, “the biology of the sexual system produces a false relationship experience, offering temporary “relief” from lonely feelings, but soon enough, the user again faces a real-world relationship void. That emptiness may trigger loneliness. Additionally, porn invites the mental fantasy of a relationship experience. Thus, the mind fantasizes and biologically the sexual system tricks the brain into imagining it’s having a relationship experience and can thus mask loneliness—but only temporarily. In this way, pornography exploits the sexual system but only tricks the brain for a while. The user can’t escape the fact that when the experience is over, they’re still alone in an empty room. So, when sexual intoxication wears off, the experience may only end up excavating a deeper emptiness—a setup for a vicious cycle. We hypothesize that this experience could create the potential for getting trapped in the short-term, feel-good escape of pornography joined with long-term loneliness.”

The threat is so pervasive and its effects so damaging that Butler warned “it may be time to consider the real possibility that pornography use poses a very public health risk to our relationships.”

Not to mention the epidemic of loneliness now descending on this generation’s teenagers.

Evangelicals Heap Praise on Kavanaugh Nomination to High Court

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More than 40 evangelical leaders are supporting Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court and say they will “pray and work for a quick confirmation process.”

In a statement from the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, the leaders said their “views on just government and human flourishing are based on biblical principles.”

They believe that the judicial philosophy of Judge Kavanaugh fulfills the scriptural teaching that “government is justly ordered when it exercises the proper authority delegated to it by God. This means ensuring the rule of law, administering justice fairly and impartially, protecting the God-given dignity of every human being, and safeguarding our constitutional liberties.”

The evangelical leaders also believe that Kavanaugh will correctly interpret the Constitution impartially and faithfully “not as he…simply wishes it to be.”

The signatories include Dr. Ronnie Floyd, who said he was “delighted” by the choice and another nominee “committed to following the original intent of our Constitution.”

And Dr. Jack Graham who thanked President Donald Trump for remaining “true to his word.”

Judicial Philosophy of Brett Kavanaugh

The Gospel Coalition wrote Judge Kavanaugh “is considered a proponent of originalism, a manner of interpreting the Constitution that begins with the text and attempts to give that text the meaning it had when it was adopted, and textualism, a method of statutory interpretation that relies on the plain text of a statute to determine its meaning.

“While in private practice in the 1990s, he served as chair of the Federalist Society’s Religious Liberties Practice Group and wrote two pro bono Supreme Court amicus briefs in support of the cause of religious liberty. (The Federalist Society is a group of conservatives and libertarians interested in “reordering priorities within the legal system to place a premium on individual liberty, traditional values and the rule of law.”)

“In a 2017 case involving an unaccompanied and undocumented migrant teenager who sought an abortion while living in a government-funded shelter, Kavanaugh issued a dissenting opinion. In that dissent he wrote that a previous “ruling followed from the Supreme Court’s many precedents holding that the Government has permissible interests in favoring fetal life, protecting the best interests of a minor, and refraining from facilitating abortion.” However, he found the opinion of the majority on his appeals court represented a “radical extension of the Supreme Court’s abortion jurisprudence.”

Senator James Lankford (R-OK), a graduate of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, called Kavanaugh’s selection “a good choice” and tweeted “Judge Brett Kavanaugh is an impressive nominee to be considered for the Supreme Court. I look forward to evaluating his judicial philosophy. It’s important to have a jurist who acts within the bounds of the Constitution and interprets the law as written.”

Dr. Jerry A. Johnson, president and CEO of National Religious Broadcasters, called Kavanaugh an “all-star” and “eminently qualified to serve on the high court.”

Greg Laurie said Kavanaugh’s nomination “comes supported by the prayers of millions of Christians who trust in their judicial system to protect the rights and liberties of all Americans.”

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has promised to hold the confirmation hearings for Kavanaugh in September or October—before the midterms in November.

3 Ways Churches Think They Are Known in Their Communities

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Usually when I ask a question on social media, I expect a decent number of responses. Church leaders and members are typically gracious to me and share their opinions readily.

But when I asked a question about the reputation of their churches in the community, I was inundated with responses. Many wanted to share the good and the bad. Perhaps the most intriguing facet of the study was the three distinct groups in which the responses fell.

The question was simple:

“What is your church known for in its community?”

Within a few minutes of my post, many responses came forth. After I read and added all of them, I saw three patterns emerge.

About one-half of the churches are known for ministries that require the community to come to the church itself. Great preaching. Incredible worship services. A friendly church. Great events at the church. How our members care for one another. You get the picture. These are all great responses, but they require the community to come to the church. If community members do not set foot on the church’s campus, they will never know about the ministries of the church. For the majority of the churches, the idea of community ministry is “you come to us.”

About one-fourth of the churches cited great ministries in and to the community. Partnering with schools in the community. Serving the community with food and clothes. Medical and dental ministries. Ministries to families, parents and children in the community. The list goes on and on. It was exciting to read how many churches demonstrate their love for their community by actually going into the community.

About one-fourth of the churches said they were known for negative reasons. Preacher-eater churches. Congregational fights and splits. Legalism. Unfriendliness. One church leader said his church was known for two murders that occurred a few years apart on the church site. Ouch.

The social media poll did encourage me in many ways. Many of our churches are doing an incredible job connecting with and ministering to the communities in which they are located. And though I am certainly glad to see many church members excited about what is taking place on their church campuses, I fear many members think that community ministry means, “Y’all come to us, and we will minister to you.”

Of course, I am concerned, but not necessarily surprised, about the negative perceptions of some churches in the community. I pray those churches will begin to make a positive impact in the locations where they serve.

What is your church known for in the community? What are your members actually doing in the community and for the community? Let me hear from you.

This article originally appeared here.

Why Vacation Bible School Is as Important Now as Ever

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

He’s older now. Retired, but not done. He doesn’t move quickly, and his hearing is not great. For 30 years he shepherded our church. Now he leads a Life Group. We call him “Brother Bob.” All of Bradenton calls him that. He’s a passionate evangelist for evangelism. Give him a minute of your time, and you’ll hear him share the gospel. Boldly. Without apology.

He was at Vacation Bible School every day last week. He brought three children. Two of them accepted Christ. In fact, 17 total children accepted Christ, along with two parents. Countless gospel seeds were planted.

What other program or event bears this kind of fruit in a one-week timeframe?

VBS is a local mission trip that just about any church can do.

Multiple generations came together. For one intense week, a multi-generational army united around the good news of Jesus. It’s one of the most beautiful scenes in ministry.

People from the neighborhood showed up. They claimed it was the packed parking lot that piqued their curiosity. In reality, the Holy Spirit guided them from their front yards to our front door. VBS was an opportunity for us to be good neighbors.

The gospel is the central focus. The reason we do VBS is to share the gospel. No doubt, the games and activities and skits are a lot of fun. But the focal point is telling children about Jesus. Everything else is periphery to the grand purpose of sharing with a child, “Here is how Jesus saves you.”

Men get to be kids. Our VBS happens at night, from 6:00 p.m. until 8:30 p.m. There are several reasons for this timeslot, but one of the biggest is that a later time gives many men in our church the opportunity to serve. The women at West B always step up in incredible ways, but there’s something special about seeing a middle-aged man in an orange wig doing kid song motions on spirit night.

We carry with us the legacy of Brother Bob and his generation. Some in our church are in their fifth decade of VBS. When I’m older, retired—when my hearing is gone and I don’t move as quickly, I hope to bring children to VBS just like Brother Bob. VBS is as important now as ever. I believe it will be just as vital in the future. We’re all VBS-tired, as deacon Don in the below picture can attest, but it’s worth it. Every bit of it.

This article originally here. 

Discover the Importance of Food and Small Group Ministry

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

Think of a time when you were hungry. How did you feel? What was your state of mind during that time?

Why are we told it is a bad idea to go grocery shopping when we are hungry?

Hunger can affect how we feel, what we do and even the decisions we make.

Isaac and Rebekah had twins, Esau and Jacob. Esau was a mighty hunter. He loved being in the outdoors. His twin brother was the opposite. Jacob was happier staying at home and doing tasks like cooking.

One day Esau came home from being out on one of his outdoor excursions. He was extremely hungry. This probably meant he wasn’t successful hunting this time out.

At the same time, Jacob had a pot of lentil stew ready to eat. The aroma filled the air.

In his moment of hunger, Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for some of the stew.

That was an expensive bowl of stew!

Are you currently gathering with your members without the aid of food? I don’t believe it was a coincidence that Jesus taught and performed miracles in many situations that involved food.

Food is required for us to live. But it does so much more than that. Here are some advantages your group can experience by including food at your gatherings:

Food Is Inviting

Showing up to a small group for the first time can be a scary experience. You can help reduce those fears by including food. It creates an inviting focal point that draws a person’s attention. Food allows attendees to immediately participate in a safe way when it is incorporated at the beginning of your gathering. It even provides a natural topic of conversation that all participants have in common.

Food Opens Conversations

There is no better way to encourage personal conversations to take place than to have food in the room. There is something about the act of eating food that brings down barriers and puts people at ease.

Nothing – not a conversation, not a handshake or even a hug – establishes friendship so forcefully as eating together. Jonathan Safran Foer

Food Helps Decision-making

Esau gave up his birthright because he was hungry. Food has an impact on our ability to make wise decisions. I wonder if Esau regretted his choice as soon as he ate the food.

Even the wisest people won’t make good choices when they’re not rested and their glucose is low,’ Baumeister points out.
John Tierney in Do You Suffer from Decision Fatigue?

We want our members to be at their best when discussing, learning and making decisions that can change our lives and the lives of those around us. Some of our members may not have eaten for several hours. Simply providing food at your gatherings can make a significant difference.

Ways to Incorporate Small Group Food

Meals and Snacks

The group should decide whether they want to have a meal around a table or mingle while eating snacks. Obviously, the meal will be more substantial, but it could be the best choice due to the meeting time and member situations.

Whether providing meals or snacks, try to include something that everyone can take part in. If possible provide at least a couple of eating options. Have people name their food allergies if they are comfortable letting the group know. You may not be able to please everyone every time, but members should not feel excluded either.

Responsibility

It is usually best to rotate the responsibility for providing food. The cost of food can be significant if it is on the shoulders of only a few. This problem is eliminated by rotating the responsibility.

One person should be identified to organize. This would include signing up people for specific gatherings and reminding them when it is their turn. It can also include ensuring there is a backup plan if the unexpected happens.

Don’t Compete

Small group food should be viewed as one spiritual tool that makes up hospitality. It should not be viewed as a source of competition. If comparisons start to be made between what one member provides vs. another, it can become a problem between members.

It doesn’t matter who bought food items instead of cooking them, who provides the most elaborate setting, or who is the best cook. What matters is the nutrition and enjoyment that comes from all of it, that ultimately results in stronger relationships and significantly changed lives.

Question: How has food helped in your small group? What tips do you have for incorporating small group food into your gathering? 

This article originally appeared here.

Are You a Sheep or a Goat?

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Do you know the spiritual difference between sheep and goats?

One of the more alarming aspects of Jesus’ parables is that many of them seem to be all about showing us that not everyone who considers themselves a Christian will go to heaven. The parables of Matthew 25 do this more than any other passage I can think of.

All of the maidens (25:1-13) consider themselves friends of the bridegroom, and all of the servants in the parable of the talents (25:14-30) consider themselves in the employ of the Master. Most shockingly, the sheep and the goats (25:31-46) all seem to recognize the lordship of Jesus. No one is like, “Whoa, ‘Jesus,’ who are you? Where is Buddha?” Or, “I didn’t even think there was a God!”

The judgment displayed in all three of these parables does not separate Christians from the rest of the world. It separates genuine Christians from imposters.

Jesus ends the parable of the maidens by saying, “And the door was shut. Later the rest of the virgins also came and said, ‘Master, master, open up for us!’ He replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you!’” (Matthew 25:10-12 CSB).

He ends the parable of the talents by saying, “His master replied to him, ‘You evil, lazy servant! …throw this good-for-nothing servant into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’” (Matthew 25:26-30).

To the goats in the last parable he says, “Then he will also say to those on the left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels!” (Matthew 25:41)

I don’t think it could get any clearer: When we talk about judgment, we’re not dealing with simply “loss of reward.” We are talking about heaven and hell.

The Spiritual Difference Between Sheep and Goats

This is a big deal, because there are a lot of people in our churches who think they are Christians that are tragically mistaken. So, what exactly is the spiritual difference between sheep and goats? What is the difference between those who go to heaven and those who go to hell?

According to the parable of the sheep and goats, it had little to do with how much they went to church or (more surprising) what they believed. There isn’t a single word about that.

The only spiritual difference between sheep and goats is what they did or did not do: Whether or not they were actively, tangibly engaged in the mission of God and generous toward the poor, particularly poor believers.

Apart from that, all other religious activity is useless.

In Isaiah 56 and 58, God told Israel, “You’re doing all your religious exercises, but those things mean nothing if you ignore the poor. You claim to know me, but you turn a deaf ear to the poor. You don’t know me.

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