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Leadership Challenges—6 Things Leaders Hate Doing, but Need to Anyway

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“Eat your vegetables, they’re good for you.” My mom said those words to me countless times as a kid. But I didn’t care how good vegetables were for me, I didn’t like them, and brussels sprouts were the worst!

Mom was right. Veggies are good for me, and I should have eaten more. The nutritional benefits would have been fantastic.

All leaders face “brussels sprouts” kinds of tasks, truths and responsibilities. You know they’re good for you, and need to be adhered to, but you don’t want to just the same.

My advice. Eat your “leadership veggies” anyway. The benefits are obvious.

The following are six of the most common things leaders hate to do, but smart leaders do them anyway.

6 Things Leaders Hate to Do:

1) Get honest about your limitations.

I can do all things in Christ. Right?! Well, yes, but I still can’t slam dunk a basketball. Leaders have to know and embrace their limitations.

Embracing your limitations is not the same as giving up, deciding not to work hard or continuing to grow as a leader.

I play the guitar, but no matter what I do, I’ll never play like Jimmy Hendricks, Eric Clapton or Carlos Santana. In the same way, I’ll never preach like Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler or Louie Giglio. It can be tough to own that, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can be set free to become all that God has intended for you.

So, how about you? What are your greatest strengths as a leader? Do you know your limitations? From your energy level to your unique skills and abilities, how has God wired you to succeed?

2) Allow God to determine the definition of church growth success.

I would love to be able to decide how large the church I serve becomes. But God doesn’t allow that.

The New Testament makes it clear that the church is intended to grow, but there is no indication that we get to determine the size. I think God knows us too well to allow that.

Yet, we strive and get frustrated if our church doesn’t grow as fast as the superstar church across town. Don’t misunderstand, this isn’t a platform for excuses, or suggesting that lack of progress is OK.

But God doesn’t set His Kingdom standards based on how many are sitting in the pews, in fact, we are all wise to do our best to teach and lead according to our best understanding of how God defines success.

Success for your church is best determined by seeking God through prayer, and aligning yourself and your work to His vision for your church. Then stay focused right there. That’s my prayer for us at 12Stone.

3) Focus on execution as much as ideas.

Ideas are fun! Cultivating ideas like titles for a blog post is a blast, but actually writing the post, well, that’s more like work.

I’m not suggesting that generating good ideas is easy, but an idea that the Holy Spirit can give you in a moment can take a thousand hours to see it to completion.

In fact, a “B” idea that gets completed is better than an “A” idea that never gets done.

Learning to develop good ideas and connecting that to equally outstanding execution is essential, but it’s surprising how often that fails in the local church.

I think it’s natural for us to like the vision, the idea, and what’s new and shiny best. Like launching a new campus, or the start of a new sermon series. But when the balloons have faded there is much work to do.

The best leaders are ruthlessly intent on execution.

4) Cast vision beyond your ability, but not beyond your faith.

Casting vision, or signing on to the vision when it’s beyond your ability, is a risk. Failure is possible. That’s leadership. If failure isn’t possible, it’s unlikely that you’re leading into new territory.

Confidence is required to press forward, but the future is still uncertain. At the same time, however, you should never lead beyond your faith.

It’s non-negotiable that you believe God can deliver the vision you are leading to.

That requires that you believe two things. First that God is the author of your vision. Second, that God is with you and for you.

These two things are relatively easy to believe in your study or prayer room, but the risk becomes real when you go public. Wise leaders don’t go public without knowing God is the author of their vision.

5) Slow down.

Most of us hate the idea of going slow, and yet none of the most important and meaningful things about the local church can be rushed.

Our responsibilities may cause us to feel pushed and rushed, but those we lead and serve don’t want to feel that from us.

The church is entirely relational. The first relationship is with God and the second relationship is with all those you serve. (Starting with your own family.)

It takes highly developed skill to accomplish your responsibilities, and yet do so with poise, positivity, generosity and a non-anxious presence.

In fact, if everything you do seems rushed or last minute, you are likely experiencing unnecessary stress and possibly unnecessary problems.

The most important things in leadership require substantial and unhurried time.

Things like: prayer, leadership development, study and think time, listening, love, writing a lesson, discernment, etc.

6) Pay attention to the right details.

I’ll let you in on a surprising fact. The best leaders I know are very detail oriented in at least one specific area. They usually don’t like it, but do it anyway.

They are not picky perfectionists or disempowering leaders, but they pay very close attention to specific details.

For example, some senior pastors know the financial details backward and forward. Some senior pastors care about and are involved in every minute of programming on a Sunday morning. (This point is not limited to senior pastors!)

The key principle is not about being focused on all the details, but being focused on the right details at the right time. And further, having the ability to know when to let someone else handle the rest.

The best leaders, whether you are the senior pastor or new to the team, know what details are important and they pay very close attention.

What details are you paying close attention to?

This article originally appeared here.

Discipleship at Home: The Sacred

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“Discipleship in the home”

For some, these words bring a sense of affirmation and anticipation; a hearty “Amen” in the heart. For others, the reaction to hearing these words can be quite different. One of the things I noticed when I started to work with parents in the area of discipleship was an oft-expressed sense of inadequacy. Why? Well, because often the parents I talk to didn’t experience “discipleship in the home” growing up; rather their experience learning about God and faith was isolated to their Sunday school or church service.

This experience of a compartmentalized lifestyle separates home life from church life from school life from work life and so on and can create an environment in many homes, even Christian homes, that is devoid of faith practices and spiritual conversations.

And many parents feel overwhelmed and a little scared to begin introducing these spiritual elements into the rhythm of their home.

But perhaps the answer to helping parents navigate these waters lies less in experience and even in equipping and more in a framework changes; a change that removes the separation of spiritual from secular and begins to explore life as one holistic experience rather than segmented ones.

In his book Ancient-Future Faith, Robert Webber says, “We must learn, then, not to HAVE a spirituality, something we turn on at a particular place or time, but to BE spiritual, as a habit of life, a continuous state of being. It is to this end that we seek after God in the stillness and hubbub of life, but always and everywhere in and through the church, where Christ is made present to us and, through us, to the world.”

In other words, our spiritual life and our secular life aren’t separate but rather two parts of one whole simply called “life.” Which means whether we are at our job or at home or at the ball game or in the car, we are still very much spiritual and attuned to spiritual things.

So, what does all of this have to do with parenting, discipleship and the home?

Those parents who feel so overwhelmed often feel that way because “churchy things” like talking about God, reading the Bible and praying are things they’ve only experienced in a building we call “church.” Their sacred life and their secular life are strongly compartmentalized, and allowing the two to intermingle is a foreign concept to them.

This compartmentalization of life is almost like a toddler’s food plate, where each item gets its own little compartment and nary the foods shall touch. But the thing about our faith is that it wasn’t ever meant to be left in one compartment. Rather it was intended to be the plate upon which all of the other things find their meaning and stability.

I remember when this all clicked for me. It was an “aha” moment like no other that culminated in this thought:

Discipleship at home is not about adding more to my already full schedule.

It is about inviting Christ into what I am already doing.

Making disciples, according to the Great Commission, is something we do “as we go” (Matthew 28:16-20). It’s something that should be as natural as eating and sleeping and coming and going. In fact when Moses told the people of Israel how to pass on their faith to the next generation, he tells them to do it “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deut. 6:7). These are the most ordinary, mundane, everyday times that all people on earth experience daily and it is in these moments that we are told to pass on our faith.

Because Christ, being fully human and fully God, can transform the most ordinary things into the most sacred because for him, there is no division; it is all “life.”

Brother Lawrence, a 17th century monk, wrote a book called The Practice of the Presence of God, where he encouraged Christians to live each day in the experience of God’s presence no matter what they are doing. He shares that “our sanctification [does] not depend on changing our works, but in doing that for God’s sake that which we commonly do for our own.” Inviting Christ into what we are already doing changes them from mundane to beautiful, ordinary to extraordinary, temporal to sacred; it brings our life as a disciple, harmony.

And that is “discipleship in the home.”

It’s truly not about doing more. It’s about experiencing Christ in all that we do.

This article originally appeared here.

12 Reasons Your Church Doesn’t Produce Spiritual Growth

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A while ago, I read Move: What 1,000 Churches Reveal About Spiritual Growth, by Greg Hawkins and Cally Parkinson. Greg is the executive pastor at Willow Creek Community Church. Cally is Willow’s director of communication services. The book is based on their research of over 1,000 churches. It takes a hard look at spiritual formation in our churches with a focus on best-practice ministries.

This book is by far the book that has most challenged my thinking regarding spiritual formation in the church. My Kindle version has highlights throughout. This morning, I went through all those highlights and tried to narrow them down to the 12 that I found most challenging to current church practices. Unfortunately, these statements only provide a snippet of the findings and best practices outlined in the book.

12 Reasons Your Church Doesn’t Produce Spiritual Growth

1. You focus more on Bible teaching than Bible engagement.

“We learned that the most effective strategy for moving people forward in their journey of faith is biblical engagement. Not just getting people into the Bible when they’re in church—which we do quite well—but helping them engage the Bible on their own outside of church.”

2. You haven’t developed a pathway of focused first steps.

“Instead of offering up a wide-ranging menu of ministry opportunities to newcomers, best-practice churches promote and provide a high-impact, non-negotiable pathway of focused first steps—a pathway designed specifically to jumpstart a spiritual experience that gets people moving toward a Christ-centered life.”

3. You’re more concerned about activity than growth.

“Increased church activity does not lead to spiritual growth.”

4. You haven’t clarified the church’s role.

“Because—whether inadvertently or intentionally—these churches have communicated to their people that, no matter where they are on their spiritual journey, the role of the church is to be their central source of spiritual expertise and experience. As a result, even as people mature in their beliefs and embrace personal spiritual practices as part of their daily routines, their expectation is that it will be the church, not their own initiative, that will feed their spiritual hunger.”

I Don’t Want to Change the World Anymore

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When I was in the eighth grade, I had it all planned out: I would attend West Point Military Academy. I would become a lawyer. Then a senator. Then President of the United States. I wanted to change the world.

When I was a freshman in college, I resisted the Lord calling me to ministry because I was afraid of living on food stamps as a youth pastor for the rest of my life. After a number of friends and mentors (and the Holy Spirit) convicted me of my fear, I recognized the calling like they did and submitted myself to a lifetime of ministry. I had no idea what that would look like, but I knew I wanted to change the world.

But in the last year or so, I think something’s changed.

I don’t want to change the world anymore.

I can’t say for sure if my heart was in the right or wrong place when I used to want to change the world. Sometimes I am sure my motives were mostly good.

But I know that, many times, I wanted to change the world so I would be remembered. So that I would appear in school history textbooks and documentaries you would never watch on your own time but that you love to watch at school.

I wanted to change the world because it was the only way I thought I could achieve significance.

But I don’t want to change the world anymore.

I don’t want to be remembered in history textbooks or documentaries.

I don’t care to have a lasting impact on the world.

It sounds depressing, but I promise it’s not.

Serving as the leader of my local church’s student ministry has made me care more about discipling the middle and high schoolers in my community than getting blog pageviews on this site.

Settling into my role at LifeWay, even as much as it has changed over the years, has made me more interested in equipping others to stand in the spotlight than standing in it myself.

Reaching five years of marriage to my wife, Susie, has made me more interested in learning how to best serve and love her than pursuing opportunities to impress others.

Publishing my first book, a lifelong dream I never expected to accomplish, has made me less interested in ever publishing another one, no matter what “groundbreaking” ideas may come along.

As I have grown into adulthood and settled into a home, a job and a community, I have lost my desire to change the world.

And I think that’s OK.

Whether it be because of recent events or because of a general growing in maturity I’m not sure, but I have come to the conclusion that living a life of ordinary faithfulness is no less noteworthy than a life that fills volumes of biographical books and documentaries.

I don’t want to change the world. I just want to live a life of quiet, ordinary faithfulness. To Christ. To my wife. To my church. To my work.

Don’t get me wrong: Wanting to change the world isn’t bad. Don’t let me stop you.

I guess I’ve just become more concerned with doing everything I can to serve the people in my midst than with impressing people on the Internet or otherwise around the world.

I’ve barely posted on here lately, and a small part of me has felt guilty about that. But a much bigger part of me hasn’t felt guilty about it at all, and I’ve wondered why.

I think it’s because I don’t care to change the world anymore.

I’m thankful for the people I’ve met and have been able to help on here over the years, but I just don’t care to do it as much anymore. Other things have taken priority.

I want to still help and serve people online. But it’s dramatically fallen down my list of priorities the last year or so.

So I apologize that I haven’t posted much on here lately.

But I’m not really that sorry about it.

This article originally appeared here.

Why (I Think) Everyone Should Have a Counselor

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This past weekend Zac and I celebrated 18 years of marriage.

Before we get into the sticky stuff—I cannot imagine a more incredible gift of a husband. We are best friends, he supports my dreams, isn’t afraid to kick me in the tail and also loves me unconditionally. We love Jesus and we always have—we came into marriage with pretty minimal baggage and yet still…

MARRIAGE IS DANG HARD. And being in ministry for most of our married life—I can tell you that marriage gets difficult for almost everyone.

I believe this fact occurred to me soon after coming home from our honeymoon—it was our first huge fight. Huge as in…complete with me throwing something, slamming the door and driving away.

It was a scene from a movie…in fact, come to think of it, I am pretty sure I ripped it off from Meg Ryan. But in the movie…when the girl runs away the boy comes after the girl.

So I waited and waited and waited for him to come chasing me, driving slowly around the block several times. This was before cell phones (can you even imagine?) so I knew if I went too far, he would worry and call the police. So I just circled the block.

After a dozen circles and no sign of a distraught Zac in the yard calling 911, I decided it was time to relieve my fraught-with-worry new husband…I opened the door to our little apartment and Zac had fallen asleep on the couch watching football.

Over the next five years, there were more slammed doors and a lot of football before I emotionally began to just shut down. Now to be fair, we got married as little baby children (20-year-olds). Oh my word! What on earth? This was just barely legal.

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And it wasn’t long before young marrieds became young parents and we found ourselves treading the deep waters of parenting toddlers and difficult ministry and unable to fight in a healthy way. I opened up to a mentor about some of our relational tensions and she suggested that we seek out a marriage counselor.

“A counselor?!” In my mind, counselors were for people about to get a divorce. While our marriage could certainly improve…we weren’t that bad?!

Is Francis Chan’s Model of Church the Future?

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We Are Church Documentary from Crazy Love Ministries on Vimeo.

Francis Chan is not one to hold his tongue when discussing what is wrong with the American church. A new documentary about Chan and his house church endeavor explores what could be so right with the American church.

“In America, Christianity has become this consumer thing,” Chan says in the 20-minute documentary, titled “We Are Church,” which touches on some of the themes of Chan’s new book, Letters to the Church.

“One of our elders calls it pastoral malpractice: You’re actually ruining people by making them consumers because you’re supposed to be turning them into servants.” This model is far from the instructions we receive in Scripture. “We don’t come to be served; we serve and give our lives as a ransom for many,” Chan says of what every believer should be doing to emulate Christ.

Put succinctly, we’ve “twisted” what it means to be the church, and Chan doesn’t mince words when he adds “it’s evil.”

So What Does Francis Chan Think the Church Should Look Like?

Besides Chan, a handful of members and leaders in Chan’s house church network are interviewed in the documentary. One gentleman, Sean Brakey, who hosts a house church (in his house) says church should have less emphasis on a killer sermon with a great worship set and greater emphasis on the members loving each other well and studying Scripture together.

You might think that as host or leader of the house church, Brakey prepares a sermon every week. This does not appear to be the case, though. He explains at their meetings “everyone’s bringing stuff”. Sometimes they will read a passage of Scripture and someone will comment on the text or God will highlight something to the group. Perhaps someone else thinks of a song and begins to sing it. Everyone, Brakey says, feels as if they “have something to contribute.”

The Priesthood of Believers

In fact, fellowship and studying Scripture are not exclusive of house meetings. At one point in the documentary, you see a lady waking up and spending time reading Scripture and praying early in the morning. You see her pull out her phone and scroll through the messages she’s received already from members of her group. The group members text one another to share an insight they got about the Scripture they’re reading.

In this way, the documentary makers imply, discipleship—specifically studying Scripture—is not facilitated in a top-down kind of way. Rather, the members themselves are facilitating it.

Family Is Not Just Nuclear

Sarah Zabala lived with Chan and his family for a time. Zabala says she came from a life of crime and drug addiction. “They accepted me in like a family member,” she recalls. “You get to see the good, the bad, the ugly when you’re living with somebody,” Zabala says. She specifically points to Lisa Chan, Francis’s wife, who modeled what it means to be a godly wife and mother to her.

Chan says more than being a family, the church is called to be a body. “If one hurts, we all hurt,” he says. This is the emphasis the members of the house churches strive to live out on a daily basis. One family fosters and adopts children. Another makes it a point to share meals with their neighbors on a regular basis. The emphasis is on opening up your home, inviting others in, and living in community.

The Discipleship Path Is Progressive

Chan explains there is a natural flow of people who show up, then become disciple-makers, then become pastors, then become elders. Once there are a few elders at one particular house church, another church can branch off. In this way, the network of churches hopes to see organic, non-centralized growth that doesn’t depend on a lot of structure at the “top.”

Three Lead Measures – Abiding, Going, Telling

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As a father, I’ve recently entered into the phase where my boys are playing in some sports leagues. Practice during the week, then games on Saturday. With my boys, enthusiasm for practice is hit-or-miss because they struggle to take practice seriously. They’re highly motivated and enthusiastic before games on Saturday, but they just don’t yet understand how practice correlates to gameday, despite even my many pep talks. I’ll talk to them after games, trying my best to explain to my young boys that how they practice determines how they play. I’m hoping they’ll get it soon.

For church ministry in America and across the world, I’m hoping well get it soon too – that what we do beforehand directly impacts the results. This seems so obvious, and yet so many churches are completely missing the correlation.

So many of us have become consumed and obsessed with attractive lag measures rather than emphasizing crucial lead measures. Lag measures are attractive because they’re easily recognizable. Pastors easily talk about attendance, giving, baptisms and salvations because it’s the easiest way to express success or the lack thereof. Lead measures are also recognizable, yet many pastors and congregations have difficulty in recognizing important lead measures because we have failed to appreciate how crucial practice is to gameday, how vital preparation is to results. And perhaps many don’t know how to focus on lead measures because they simply haven’t yet clarified what they are.

For this post, I want to clarify three important lead measures for church ministry that I believe are crucial for disciple-making.

Lead Measure #1: Abiding in Christ.

Nothing is more important for a follower of Christ than to abide in Christ, to be with Christ and to live with Christ. This is likely the greatest lead measure for a disciple and for a disciple-making church, which makes it imperative for churches to figure out how to observe this and measure this.

Jesus said that producing much fruit is the result of remaining in Christ (John 15:5). The fruit Jesus speaks of in John 15 is disciple-making, which means that abiding in Christ is a definitive precursor to making disciples who make disciples. This is why exercising spiritual disciplines pertaining to discipleship is so vitally important. Spiritual practices like prayer, reading the Word, worship, fasting, repentance, scripture memorization and living in biblical community are the fundamental lead measures that helps disciples produce much fruit. I’m certain that most churches are emphasizing the importance of abiding in Christ through spiritual disciples and practices, yet I’m convinced many of these churches have simply failed to figure out how to identify, observe and record this as a lead measure. This is why discipleship groups are proving to be one of the most effective tools in helping churches to understand how their people are abiding in Christ. Discipleship groups help church leaders understand how their church members are practicing this lead measure of abiding in Christ.

Lead Measure #2: Going with Christ.

The story of the early church is the story of commission. Before Jesus’ death, he sends out his disciples. After his death and before his ascension, Jesus commissions his disciples to go and make disciples of all nations, knowing that soon they would be filled with the Holy Spirit and be empowered to do so. The book of Acts is a detailed account of a commissioned people.

This lead measure of commissioning, of going with Christ, is crucial to the success of the early church because disciples can’t be made unless disciples are first deployed. Jesus modeled what it meant to be sent and then commanded his followers to live sent (John 20:21).

Paul even recognized the importance of commissioning as a vital lead measure when he rationalized that people can’t believe without hearing about Jesus, that people can’t hear without a preacher, and therefore preachers need to be sent (Romans 10:14-15).

Whereas lag measures focus on those who come, perhaps Jesus would rather us focus on those who go. In other words, attendance, salvations and baptisms are dependent on God’s commissioning of his disciples. Churches experience growth and disciple-making because they first emphasize going.

Lead Measure #3: Telling about Christ.

The third lead measure that is crucial for disciple-making churches is gospel conversations – talking about the good news of Jesus to those around you. Lag measures like salvations, baptisms and attendance are the result of what God does. Paul understood this (1 Corinthians 15:5-7). He couldn’t determine what would grow and what would result. Only God gives the growth. Paul knew that he was given the joy of planting and Apollos was given the privilege of watering.

Measuring if people are having gospel conversations and how many people are having gospel conversations is a great tool for helping to create a disciple-making culture. Emphasizing this helps people to see that disciples are made and multiplied by first telling others about Jesus.

In the end, the church’s ultimate lag measure has already been determined. God will collect for Himself a very large family from every tribe, tongue and nation. With that in mind, the joy of the church today is found in being confident in knowing that the results are with God, and He’s invited us to practice and prepare for that day by abiding in Christ, going with Christ, and telling as many as possible about Christ.

This article originally appeared here.

Is It Justifiable for Christian Music Artists to Use Swear Words?

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There is much talk about how to contextualize the gospel to a particular culture. Missionaries do this all the time as they study the language of a people group and then seek to communicate the gospel story in that language. But are there times when we take it too far? Especially in music performed by Christian artists who use questionable terms to communicate their message. In the following video, Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile comments on the trend of cussing in Christian music.

When it comes to speech, according to Anyabwile, we must take our stand with Scripture. Human speech is one of the most unique things about people and our God-given ability to bear the image of God. This means that our words are imbued with a profound sacredness, and therefore every Christian must take into account what is presented in Ephesians 4:29: “let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth.” The only things that should come out of our mouths are things to edify, build others up, and to communicate grace to the hearer. This is a really clear criterion for our words.

As Anyabwile argues in the following video, there is nothing about art, culture, or context that grants us permission to sin. It is actually blasphemous to raise art, culture, and context above the very commands of Scripture. We are sinning if we try to reach people in ways that Christ disallows. Christ determines our goal and our method in reaching others with the gospel. This is a sober warning for Christians who seek to knock over fences in order to reach others and thereby compromising the straight and narrow path to eternity with Christ. Watch the whole video to hear and see more of Anyabwile’s thoughts.

You CAN Do It: 32 Simultaneous Inputs, And A Live Worship Recording is Born

Step by step, Mike O’Brien takes you through everything you need to know about producing a live recording right in your own building.

Small Group Leaders: Protect Yourself (and Others) From Burnout

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It’s been about five years since it happened and the thing is…I didn’t see it coming. I guess I should have, everyone around me could see it happening…but man, I sure didn’t.

I could hear God but I wasn’t listening. To be honest, I really didn’t like what He was saying. I can remember the words like it was yesterday, “I haven’t called you to this…”

I’ll never forget the day I finally listened though, and began to understand the reality of what was happening.

I was burnt out and even worse…I had placed my family on the altar of ministry and was in the process of sacrificing. Twelve hour work days, desperately seeking approval, finding my identity and self-worth in my work…all led to me burning out.

I’m going to make a blind bet and say there are a lot, if not everyone reading this, that have gone through a similar type of experience.

Burnout is no joke. It can end a career, it can ruin a family, but moreover, it can damage our relationship with God. At the end of the day, God has never called us to burnout but the fact is it’s rampant in the church world.

As small group point peeps and pastors, we not only have to protect ourselves but even more those we lead from burnout. Here are a few key factors I learned on how to protect yourself and others.

Rhythms over balance…

Let’s face it, balance is a lie…

I’ve spent soo much of my life trying to figure out how to balance the crazy teeter-totter of work, family and rest only to find myself burnt out and never achieving balance. It’s when I started to look at the rhythms of my life and schedule that I actually started to find time for rest and for my family.

No is a good word…

I am a people pleaser, a tad bit of a workaholic, and to be honest…I don’t like having to say no to things especially when they are opportunities to shine. Here’s the sad reality, these things have become the unsaid marks of a successful person in ministry. The people who really suffer in all this are the people we serve and even more our family.

Saying no is a good thing. When you become willing to say no to a few good opportunities it opens the door for even greater opportunities in life.

Soul care…

This is the most important thing I learned post burnout. The health of my soul directly affects every aspect of my life.

I’ve heard it said, “You can’t give away what you don’t have…but you do give away what you do have.”

The question you have to ask yourself as leader on a daily basis is, “What am I giving away to those I lead?” I wish I could say I’ve always given the people I lead my very best. The reality is I haven’t, and I’ve seen the damage this can do.

Take care of your soul. Make sure you are taking time to rest and replenish your strength. Psalm 42:1 gives us a beautiful example of this:

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”

Get help…

This may be the hardest step in all of this because it requires humility. It requires applying all the previous steps into one action…admitting you need help.

I love this statement, “If you are the person who got yourself into this mess, how do you think you can get yourself out of it?” The fact is you can’t, you need help and the longer you wait the longer you suffer.

As small group point peeps and pastors, not only do we need to protect ourselves from burnout, we also need to protect those we lead from it as well.

Burnout is a choice and a choice none of us need to make!

This article originally appeared here.

4 Emotions That Can Take a Leader Out

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As leaders, we experience the full array of human emotion on a regular basis.

How we handle our emotions can make or break our leadership.

Jesus himself experienced the full range of emotions such as: love, anger, compassion, loneliness, frustration and joy.

The powerful thing about Jesus and the expression of His emotion is that it always seemed to be perfectly appropriate and perfectly timed.

But let’s be honest, we’re not Jesus. We are to live like Him, but we’ll never be Him.

So, what can we do?

1) Own your emotions.

For example, we often think that a particular person made us angry.

It’s true that someone can push your buttons, provoke you and cause a certain emotion like anger to begin to rise up in you. But you choose what you do with that.

If it was true that someone could actually “make” you angry, that would mean they control you.

The same is true with gratitude, happiness and contentment, as examples. No one can make you feel grateful, happy or content. These are emotions that you choose.

If other people were responsible for your happiness, you could only experience as much happiness as they could or would give you.

2) Lead your emotions.

It’s not always easy, but vitally important for a leader.

When you are under pressure, stressed, tired or feeling overwhelmed, that’s when leading your emotions is most important.

To lead your emotions is to be present with your feelings. This enables you to guide them and shape them rather than being owned or controlled by them.

Let’s take positive emotions as an example.

Your work as a spiritual leader is serious work. It involves people, problems and even spiritual warfare. Over time this process will drain you.

Therefore, it’s vital that you purposely cultivate positive emotions such as joy, gratitude, love, compassion and contentment.

You can choose to laugh, play, serve and give. You can choose staff, friends and even service providers that you enjoy being around.

You can take charge and lead your emotions, rather than be governed by them.

3) Mature your emotions.

No one wants to live like a robot, or expects perfectly “contained” emotions. Your emotions are an expression of life and make you an interesting person.

At the same time, people can’t trust a leader whose emotions are unpredictable, or may erupt at any moment.

Remaining poised when the heat is on is an indication of maturity with your emotions. Emotional maturity is required to be freed up and real, and at the same time self-controlled and even tempered.

Prayer, wise counsel and intentional effort, combined with selfless living, are key components that help your emotions mature.

4 emotions that can take a leader out:

It’s true that this list of four emotions can be either positive motivators or negative paralyzers.

For example, fear can cause you to get out of the way of an oncoming car.

But in the context of leadership and this post, I’ll focus on the need to wisely learn to own, lead and mature these emotions.

1) Fear

Fear paralyzes a leader. It can prevent you from, for example, taking a risk, having a tough conversation or even being obedient to a prompt of God.

For example, you may be tempted to make a decision aligned with fear rather than faith.

One of the best antidotes to fear is action. Break each fear-producing situation down to bite-sized pieces for action, and tackle it one day at a time.

Remember, God is with you.

2) Anger

One ill-timed blow up can cost you much.

Depending upon the severity of the circumstance or public nature of an outburst, it can cost you your leadership.

The good news is that for one instance, there is usually enough grace that it’s easily repaired.

But if you struggle with anger or if there is a pattern, I would encourage you to seek out a wise and experienced counselor to get underneath the anger and discover its origin.

You don’t need to remain captive to the force of unresolved issues from your past.

Freedom from anger is within reach, but you can’t beat it by yourself. Talk with a trusted friend or counselor soon.

3) Discouragement

Discouragement is one of the top tactics used by the devil in order to take spiritual leaders out.

Discouragement is not enough to disqualify a leader like anger can, and it doesn’t completely shut down a leader like fear can, but it’s just enough to distract a leader from being at his or her best. And over the long haul, that can have huge effects.

For example, your church attendance may have been down last week, but you had a good number of visitors, several people saved and the offering was strong.

The enemy wants you to focus on the things that didn’t go right (the low attendance) because all the other things will encourage you, and that will motivate you to keep going!

Overcoming discouragement can most often be achieved by spending some time with a few positive natured and trusted leaders who believe in you, see the good that is happening, and are full of hope.

It’s also important that you don’t allow yourself to become or remain isolated from others. That is one of the most common ways to take your perspective off center.

4) Insecurity

Every leader has some insecurity. It can be anything from minimal and essentially negligible to nearly debilitating.

It’s up to each of us how we own, lead and mature our personal security.

Insecurity, like discouragement, is certainly not the potential grenade that anger and fear can be. But left unmanaged, insecurity can be slowly unraveling to your leadership.

In fact, insecurity is surprisingly common amongst leaders and the danger is that it can lead to things like jealousy, envy, competition, people pleasing and more.

One of the best things you can do to overcome insecurity is to own it. Talk about it, and be honest about it.

It’s important to identify what triggers your insecurities. When you’re fully aware of your personal patterns, you can begin to learn to handle them in a more healthy and productive way.

Ultimately, the best approach is to remember your identity in Christ.

Find joy and peace in being yourself. Give yourself permission and freedom to be yourself, that’s how people best connect with you and how you lead at your best.

I’ve written a more thorough article on the subject of insecurity and you can read it here.

The 11 Roles Your Team Must Fill

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She doesn’t look like brown hair and green eyes.

He could have blonde or black or blue hair. Her eyes could be hazel, blue, yellow or purple.

They don’t sound like a girl.

They may sound like one sometimes but not always.

He doesn’t come from wealth.

Although she might.

She doesn’t speak English.

But sometimes he does.

They aren’t married yet.

And often they are.

He doesn’t have one youth ministry conference lanyard.

She might have 37.

What does a youth minister look like?

Over the years I’ve had the tendency to lean in a specific direction when looking for youth ministry leaders. I outwardly denied such a habit but it existed.

I was misguided as I narrowed my focus. Looking for college age students and young adults who looked like me to help me run the ministry.

What I want now are people of differing ages who don’t always look like me, and I want to support them as they share the ministry.

I’m a believer that youth ministry leadership should seek to be as diverse as those we seek to reach with the love of Jesus.

As a mosaic of ministry leaders comes together, the ministry gains depth and perspective, color and value, mutuality and equality. We encompass the investment with ownership and care. Each of them, whether they are experienced educated extroverted esteemed…or not…are deeply vested. ALL are interested.

When leaders like this are interested in our ministry. We give them a short application to fill out and then we meet up. We get to know each other. We run a background check but we rely more on relational intelligence and cultural IQ to help guide our assessments. We pray a lot over each other.

We look for the part of the mosaic that would be strengthened by the addition. We look for the place in the ministry where the leader would shine most vividly. We look at their personality and their abilities, their heart and their habits, and we do our best to create places where these things can grow.

When asked what our leaders do, I’d answer:

They … pray, listen, cry, laugh, snort, entertain, experience, invest, mourn, celebrate, transmit, teach, overnight, caffeinate, serve, ask questions, lead, imagine, create, animate, step us, take risks, try new things … and more.

In youth ministry, some leaders have multiple roles (and multiple personalities). Some are very specific in their time investment and roles. Still others are free spirits and change roles as they grow and change.

That’s why we don’t give leaders labels. We give them goals, and as they work on those goals, roles tend to rise to the top.

Here are some of the roles that we identify as leaders begin to serve in our youth ministry. Many leaders serve in multiple roles.

Most serve on Sunday mornings or on Wednesday nights.

Many journey with us on events or for one-time program opportunities.

Some are with us always, they never stop thinking about how we can get better, connect more often, support parents, cheer for healthy friendships, and how teenagers can developing a lasting faith in God, and have more fun.

The level of involvement is leader led. They decide when to shift into another gear. Even when we advise that it’s time to shift up or shift down, they have a big say in that.

  • The Connectors
    • This is the greeter team. This is the curbside. This is the new student registration station. This is the one sitting in the room with the teens. This is the one connecting with other leaders as they arrive, giving them the low down, cheering them on at the starting line. This is the one that has no problem playing four square or talking to parents. Many times the connectors are high school students who begin to feel a passion to love middle school students!
  • The Motivators
    • This is the round-up crew. The people-movers. The ones who watch out for things I’ve asked them to watch out for. Their eyes are wide open. They are resourceful. They are trouble-shooters. They are value-givers and assimilators. Motivators can amplify messages, stories, announcements. They are contagious.
  • The Commuters
    • Most of our leaders are commuters. They are adults with an ability to drive a car. If they have a car and they are willing to put teenagers in it, they do that. Commuters are people who help get teens to church. We can’t have a middle school youth group without a carline.
  • The Players
    • They bring the fun. They join the fun. They facilitate the fun. Sometimes our gamers are teachers because they’re so great at commanding attention, giving instructions and participating with students. Sometimes our players are more free spirited, wild and “all-in.” We need all types of players on our team.
  • The Communicators
    • Communicators bring us together, give us instruction, lead us. They are pastors, they are worship leaders, they are artists and writers. They are the support who sends emails and texts. Another layer are the students themselves who share, post, tag, like and tweet the message we are trying to send.
  • The Teachers
    • Our teachers are adults who care about and like teenagers. They lead our small group ministry. They ask great questions. They make a weekly commitment to be mindful of a few. They follow up. They recall truth. They observe needs. They are the first responders.
  • The Builders
    • Our brains. Our friends who find strategic planning pleasurable. They have ideas. They bring thoughts to the table. They are implementers. They ask questions. They give advice. They do something more than talking. They are volunteers in action. They can’t let things sit for too long. They bring healthy change.
  • The Hosts
    • Men and women who provide a lawn, a home, a paintball gun. They might bring breakfast on Sunday or set up pizza on Wednesday. They are always looking for ways to make others feel like guests.
  • The Formers
    • They are sensitive to needs and respond in prayer. They work together with connectors to gauge the temperature of groups and meeting spaces. They are make sure spiritual formation practices are being implemented often. A former will notice when we are out of balance. They’ll push for intergenerational ministry. They look for ways for teens to grow into healthy and whole adults. They make lists. They share them with others. They feel valued when they instill spiritual value.
  • The Support
    • They know you better than you know yourself. They can almost read your mind. They know what you’re going to ask for before you ask it and why. If they don’t know why they will know quickly and they will help you off the ledge or help you achieve your goal. The support role is my favorite because they are close enough to see my boogers and don’t mind it so much. Because of great support we are able to go far together (boogers and all).
  • The Interns
    • We spend time working on things together. We prepare them to take our place or take their own place. We pour in and we also receive from a few who have been called into similar ministries. We do life. We become. We play. We serve. We give what we used to hold onto so tightly … away.

I may be missing a few roles and I have a lot to add to each description, but it’s a good start! Each role is different yet simultaneously communal in purpose. Your role may be making sure the game leader has a trash can. It may not seem like much. But it’s perfect and worth it. Your role may be in the quiet spaces, listening. It’s perfect and worth it. Your role may be on the floor hashing out the Bible with teenagers who smell like beef jerky and five different levels of fruity goodness. It’s perfect and it’s worth it.

After reading this, maybe you’ll feel inspired to talk to your youth leader at your church and dive in—somewhere, doing something. Maybe you’ll see your youth ministry differently. Or you’ll reorganize. Some will say, yay, right on and keep on!

What do you say? How do volunteer leaders develop and grow in your ministry?

This article originally appeared here.

The Most Overlooked Ministry in Your Church

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One pet peeve I have is people referring to children’s ministry as “childcare.”

The ministry that gets the “childcare” label the most often is the nursery.

Because babies can’t sing worship songs, respond to questions, read scripture or memorize verses, we put the “childcare” label on them.

But the reality is nursery ministry is one of the most vital times in a person’s life. Kids learn more in their early years than any other time. Brain connections are being made. Everything is fresh and new. I believe it is one of the most important times we have to minister to children.

Here’s an example. Recently the University of Iowa researched the impact it makes when you acknowledge and respond to babies’ vocalizations. They found that when parents are more attentive and responsive to their children’s babbling, the children said more words at 15 months of age.

Nursery volunteers, you can make a difference in the lives of babies by talking with them.

I would say a large percentage of churches do not have any teaching or engagement strategies for their nursery. Please don’t miss the opportunity to impact children’s lives at this stage. Here are some ideas to help you start making a bigger impact through interacting with and talking with the babies in your nursery.

Play an age appropriate worship song and sing to them.

Talk back to them when they babble and share with them how much God loves them.

If you see they are responding or tracking with something in the room, use that object to share a biblical principle. For an example, if the child is pointing at a toy in the room, hold it in front of them and tell them God made everything, including the toy and them. Then tell them they are special to Jesus.

Read an age appropriate Bible story book to them. Watch for certain things in the book that they point to or respond to. Expand on the picture or object they are focusing on.

Read a Bible verse to them. Here’s a great way to do this. Pick out one or more Bible promises and paint them on the walls (or you can use a banner or stick on letters) of your nursery and preschool rooms. Pray the Bible promises over them each week they are with you.

Hold a small Bible in front of them. Point to the Bible and say “The Bible is God’s Word. It is true and you can always trust it.”

These are just a few of the ways you can impact kids in the nursery. So let the baby talk begin.

This article originally appeared here.

The 5 Temptations of a Pastor

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You’d think that being in church leadership would ensure you’re not tempted to fall into the same temptations as, say, leaders in the marketplace.

As nice as that line of thinking is, it’s wrong.

A few years ago, Patrick Lencioni did a great job outlining the five temptations of a CEO. All of those apply to anyone in leadership, and Patrick’s books are always packed with helpful insights.

I think all of those temptations apply to any senior leader, but ministry adds a layer of complexity or two.

You and I are human. We are subject to the same temptations as anyone else.

Recognizing that we’re vulnerable to a whole host of temptations, pitfalls and set of issues is actually a good thing. Self-awareness is a gift. It can lead you to confession, repentance and a different future.

Denial is a different story. If you think you have no sin, or that these things can’t and don’t happen to you, well…good luck with that. I think there’s something in the scripture that says those of us who say we have no sin deceive ourselves.

When it comes to temptation, denial is an accelerator. The more we think it will never happen to us, the more we position ourselves to have it happen.

I’ve struggled in different seasons with all five temptations. I’m not above any of it. But the good news is self-awareness is such a big factor in keeping yourself from making some very common mistakes.

If can you see yourself as you are, you can become a different self. Confession and repentance are powerful like that.

So here are the five temptations I see pastors struggling with:

1. TO CHOOSE POPULARITY OVER COURAGE

Oh to be popular. While it’s the dream of every elementary and high school kid, it doesn’t make for a great leadership quality.

So many pastors, at heart, are people pleasers.

A key goal of leadership is to lead a diverse group on a common mission. That’s why leadership isn’t for the faint of heart.

Your job as a leader is to take people where they wouldn’t go except for your leadership.

That requires courage. Deep courage. But when you try to please all kinds of people, you usually end up sacrificing the mission.

Instead of moving forward with boldness, people pleasing pastors end up with a lot of people (or a diminishing number of people, actually) going nowhere in particular.

Is that what you want your legacy to be? Didn’t think so.

If you want to be liked, you won’t lead.

2. TO PRETEND THINGS ARE BETTER THAN THEY ARE

So you live in a fishbowl in ministry, and people are always asking you how you are.

It’s so tempting to say things are going great, when they’re not.

Maybe it’s hard at home or your relationship with God seems flat. Or you’re really struggling with discouragement or defeat.

The pressure to say everything’s fine when it isn’t is intense.

Your public talk should match your private walk.

And while you don’t need to tell everybody that things are tough, you need to tell somebody.

To people who don’t know you well, even acknowledging things aren’t perfect keeps the dialogue real and authentic. When they ask you how it’s going, you don’t need to throw up all over them and spill your guts, but you might say, “We have a few challenges, but I’m grateful for what we get to do here. How are you?”

That’s real. And it’s accurate. You don’t need to say anything else.

The better you know someone, the deeper you can go.

And you should be at full transparency with at least a handful of people, and of course, with God.

5 Guaranteed Ways to Leave Church Unsatisfied

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1. Don’t participate, merely consume.

If I had to say the one thing holding the American church back today, it would be a consumeristic culture.

We’ve come to expect that the latest technology comes standard in our cars. Our movie theaters should have wide rows with extra padded seats that lean way back.

Unfortunately, we think our church should be no different. Just like the movie theater, we come when the production starts, sit in our seats, are entertained and think we should leave satisfied when it’s over.

When I was a pastor, those most unsatisfied in our body were those who just showed up on Sundays (sometimes). There was little to no participation in small groups, service projects, or teaching and serving within the church.

Obviously, there are those in most churches who are seekers, or young in the faith that just need to be taken care of for a season, but that should be a temporary state.

2. Criticize your leadership.

I once heard about a couple who didn’t like their pastor because he told stories about his family in the pulpit before beginning his sermons.

Quirky? Yeah, kinda.

Unbiblical, sinful, illegal, harmful?! Definitely not.

We’ve really got understand the difference.

It’s also not fair to compare your pastor to the celebrity pastor on the other side of the country, whose book we just read, and now believe that every church everywhere should be run like that celebrity pastor’s church.

Remember that celebrity pastor is in a completely different context. He doesn’t know your church, and he also doesn’t come to your home when you have a tragedy, or celebrate with you when you have a baby or other joyous life event.

We’re hard on our pastors. Their job is a very public job. One that’s performed in front of an audience (by ‘performed’ and ‘audience,’ I just mean that the duties of the job are undertaken in front of a crowd of people).

We would do well to remember that our pastors/church leaders are human beings like us, full of quirks and wrestling with sin and struggles just like we do. Instead of seeing our pastors with targets on their backs, we should see them with love and compassion, and as people who have dedicated their time to serve the body.

If you have a legitimate concern, approach your leader about it, and don’t talk about them behind their back. Be kind, be loving.

7 Ways I Protect My Family Life in Ministry

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If a pastor is not careful, the weight of everyone else’s problems will take precedence over the issues and concerns of the pastor’s immediate family. I see it frequently among pastors I encounter.

How many pastors do we know who have adult children that don’t even attend church anymore? Lots. I’ve heard from many who resent the church that stole their family time.

There have been seasons of my ministry where this was the case, especially on abnormally stressful days. It should be the exception, however, not the rule.

I decided years ago when I was a small business owner, serving in an elected office and on dozens of nonprofit boards, that my busyness would never detract from my family life on a long-term basis.

Cheryl and I are in a different season now. It’s easier to protect our time. My heart, however, goes out to the young families in ministry. Please heed my advice.

Here are seven ways I attempt to protect my family from the stress of ministry:

1. Down time.

Saturday for me is a protected day. I normally work six long (up to 10 hours and more) days a week. (I’m wired to work and to take a true “Sabbath.” According to Exodus 16:26 at least, it seems one would have to work six days—just saying!) This also means I agree to do fewer weddings or attend other social events on Saturdays. There are only a few Saturdays a year I allow this part of my calendar to be interrupted. We are blessed with a large, qualified staff. Pastors, it doesn’t have to be Saturday for you, but there should be at least one day in your week like this. If you are wired for two—take two!

2. Cheryl and the boys trump everything on my calendar.

I always interrupt meetings for their phone calls. If they are on my schedule for something we have planned together, it takes precedence over everything and everyone else. There are always emergencies, but this is extremely rare for me—extremely!

3. Scheduled time with my family.

If I’m going to protect time with my family then they must be a part of my calendar. I’ve been told this seems cold and calculated, and maybe it is, but when the boys were young and into activities with school, those times went on my calendar as appointments first. I was at every ballgame and most practices, unless I was out of town, because it was protected by my calendar. It was easy for me to decline other offers, because my schedule was already planned.

4. I don’t work many nights.

Now it’s just a habit and my boys are grown, but when my boys were young, I also wrote on my schedule nights at home. The bottom line is, I’m a professional. You wouldn’t want my time if I weren’t. Have you ever tried to meet with your attorney or banker at night? Of course, there are exceptions—I have some monthly meetings where I have to work at night—and life has seasons that alter this somewhat—but in a normal week I work six full day-time hours a week and that’s enough to fulfill my calling.

5. I’m not everyone’s pastor.

This is hard for members of my extended family or friends to understand sometimes, but I pastor a large church, so if someone is already in a church elsewhere I’m not their pastor. I am simply their brother, son or friend. Obviously, if someone doesn’t have a church at all then this is a different story, especially since my heart is to reach unchurched people.

5 Ways Your Church Can Have a Major Impact as the New School Year Begins

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I have always been weird.

While most of my childhood peers lamented the beginning of a new school year, I looked forward to it with enthusiasm. I loved the opportunity to learn and discover new vistas.

As a pastor, I saw the beginning of a school year as an opportunity to try new approaches and to make a statement about the priorities of our congregation. Over the past three decades, I have been blessed to hear from other church leaders on a multitude of topics. Let me share with you what I have heard about great success stories of churches as a new school year approached. They are basic but profound.

  1. Recommit to becoming a welcoming churchSeptember could be the month where you see a greater regular flow of guests. Families often move in the summer, so their children can start in a new school at the beginning of the school year. Take a look at two of my books to help guide you in this recommitment. Becoming a Welcoming Church is pretty much a complete guide for your church leaders and members. We Want You Here is a unique book meant specifically for the guest as a gift. Both books are only $5 when purchased in a case of 20 books. Commercial over.
  2. Dedicate a part of a worship service to praying for students and teachersWe recently did that at our church. And we followed the service by writing brief thank you letters to the teachers at one of the schools near us. It had a huge impact on both the teachers and on our members.
  3. Adopt a schoolRequest a meeting with a local school principal. Ask him or her what your church could do to best help the school. If it is within the scope of what the church can do, organize a ministry to meet that very need. Some churches paint classrooms. Some churches clean school grounds. Other churches provide back-to-school resources for students and/or teachers.
  4. Revitalize the groups in your church. Regardless of what you call them, community groups, life groups, Sunday school classes or many other names, these groups are the lifeblood of assimilation, ministry and stewardship in your church. Do whatever is necessary with a new school year beginning to re-energize and grow your groups.
  5. Re-cast the vision of the churchMany church leaders re-cast the vision of the church at the beginning of the calendar year. Consider casting the vision at the beginning of the school year. You will likely have more new members and guests in September than in January. You have a great opportunity to ride the wave of freshness that a new school year brings.

These are five of the most effective back-to-school ideas I have heard from churches all across North America and beyond. But this blog has several million faithful audience members. I know many of you have some great ideas. Please share them with our community.

This article originally appeared here.

Unexpected Drop of California’s Conversion Therapy Bill

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The author of a California bill to declare gay conversion therapy a fraudulent business practice has abandoned his effort for this year after a fierce outcry from the state’s religious community and unexpected dialogue and collaboration.

California Christians are calling it an answer to prayer.

Assembly Bill 2943 would have made it illegal to sell any service intended to change an individual’s sexuality or gender identity. The measure had already passed with large majorities in both the Assembly and Senate, with overwhelming support from Democrats, and was one vote away from the governor’s desk.

But Assemblyman Evan Low said Friday that, after meeting this summer with faith leaders, he would instead try again next year with a new version of the proposal they could feel more comfortable with.

Jonathan Keller, president of the California Family Council, a Christian organization that mobilized against the bill, said in a statement, “We are inexpressibly grateful to Assemblymember Low for meeting personally with faith leaders over the last several months and sincerely listening to our concerns.”

“AB 2943 would have tragically limited our ability to offer compassionate support related to sexual orientation and gender identity, and even to preach Jesus’ message of unconditional love and life transformation,” he said.

Earlier this week, Kevin Mannoia, chaplain at Azusa Pacific University, wrote an op-ed for The Orange County Register expressing his concerns about the bill with the hope that Low and the LGBTQ Caucus would hear him and others. Low said Mannoia “demonstrated good faith” with his column, adding, “Could this be an opportunity for transformational change, in which you can get outside of the typical culture wars and come together and work with them to craft language that they might be able to support?” Mannoia responded, telling the Los Angeles Times, “Trust can be built. It’s well on its way. Communication can happen. Collaboration can happen.”

Christian policy groups around the country also hailed the news.

A 2012 California bill banned the practice for minors, but only when it is offered by a licensed mental health provider. AB 2943 would have expanded the prohibition to adults 18 and older, and covered any commercially-available conversion therapy.

Low, who is openly gay, has asserted that these programs expose participants to damaging psychological abuse. He said in the statement that carrying the bill was deeply personal, because the confusion that he felt as a young man trying to understand his sexuality.

Religious groups vigorously opposed the legislation, which they considered an attack on their First Amendment freedoms. Some churches and other faith-based organizations offer programs that they say help individuals to overcome unwanted same-sex attractions.

Last week, a new peer-reviewed medical journal article debunking the key claims made in support of therapy bans began circulating. Critics of sexual orientation change efforts routinely assert that such therapy is ineffective (arguing sexual orientation cannot be changed) and that attempting it is harmful (driving clients into depression or even suicide).

The new study in The Linacre Quarterly, authored by Paul L. Santero, Neil E. Whitehead and Dolores Ballesteros, observed 125 men who underwent sexual orientation change efforts. The study found that “most…had heterosexual shifts in sexual attraction, sexual identity and behavior,” as well as “decreases in suicidality, depression [and] substance abuse.”

Which of These New Faith Categories Do You Fall Into?

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The Pew Research Center for Religion and Public Life has identified seven new boxes to place Americans in centering on the issue of belief.

Sunday Stalwarts are the most religious group. Not only do they actively practice their faith, but they also are deeply involved in their religious congregations.

God-and-Country Believers are less active in church groups or other religious organizations, but, like Sunday Stalwarts, they hold many traditional religious beliefs and tilt right on social and political issues. They are the most likely of any group to see immigrants as a threat.

Racial and ethnic minorities make up a relatively large share of the Diversely Devout, who are diverse not only demographically, but also in their beliefs. It is the only group in which solid majorities say they believe in God “as described in the Bible” as well as in psychics, reincarnation and spiritual energy located in physical things.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, the Solidly Secular are the least religious of the seven groups. These relatively affluent, highly educated U.S. adults–mostly white and male–tend to describe themselves as neither religious nor spiritual and reject all New Age beliefs as well as belief in the God of the Bible. In fact, many do not believe in a higher power at all.

Religion Resisters, on the other hand, largely do believe in some higher power or spiritual force (but not the God of the Bible), and many have some New Age beliefs and consider themselves spiritual but not religious. At the same time, members of this group express strongly negative views of organized religion, saying that churches have too much influence in politics and that, overall, religion does more harm than good. Both of these nonreligious typology groups are generally liberal and Democrat in their political views.

The middle two groups straddle the border between the highly religious and the nonreligious. Seven-in-ten Relaxed Religious Americans say they believe in the God of the Bible, and four-in-ten pray daily. But relatively few attend religious services or read scripture, and they almost unanimously say it is not necessary to believe in God to be a moral person.

All Spiritually Awake Americans hold at least some New Age beliefs (views rejected by most of the Relaxed Religious) and believe in God or some higher power, though many do not believe in the biblical God and relatively few attend religious services on a weekly basis.

Faith in America Is Getting More Complicated

Pew researchers purposely avoided looking at traditional religious affiliation categories in determining these groups but not surprisingly found similarities. However, the research also revealed members of widely disparate religious traditions sometimes have a lot in common. Sunday Stalwarts, for instance, are largely Protestant, but also include Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and others.

Among the highly religious groups, the religious identity profiles of Sunday Stalwarts and God-and-Country Believers are very similar. Majorities in each group are Protestant, and evangelical Protestantism constitutes the single largest religious tradition in both groups. Compared with Sunday Stalwarts, God-and-Country Believers include more Catholics (24 percent vs. 13 percent) and religiously unaffiliated Americans (8 percent vs. 1 percent), and somewhat fewer Mormons (less than 1 percent vs. 5 percent).

Compared with the other two highly religious groups, the Diversely Devout include fewer Protestants and more unaffiliated people, often called “nones.” (“Nones” is an umbrella category composed of U.S. adults who identify, religiously, as atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular.” All of the “nones” among the Diversely Devout, however, are people who describe their current religion as “nothing in particular.”)

A majority of the Solidly Secular (76 percent) and Religion Resisters (71 percent) are unaffiliated, including one-in-five in each group who describe themselves as agnostic. Religion Resisters are more likely than the Solidly Secular to describe their religion as “nothing in particular” (45 percent vs. 23 percent), while the Solidly Secular are more likely than Religion Resisters to describe themselves as atheists (31 percent vs. 6 percent).

Like the highly religious groups, the somewhat religious groups are mostly composed of Christians. There are more evangelicals among the Relaxed Religious than among the Spiritually Awake (25 percent vs. 16 percent), and more religious “nones” among the Spiritually Awake than among the Relaxed Religious (30 percent vs. 17 percent).

One other finding that church leaders might find interesting: Outside of the Sunday Stalwarts, relatively few Americans–even those who otherwise hold strong religious beliefs–frequently attend religious services or read scripture.

$3.8 Billion Paid Out to Abuse Victims by Catholic Church

communicating with the unchurched

The scandal involving children suffering sexual abuse at the hands of priests has tarnished the Catholic Church in countless ways. But one stain is measurable—the amount of money the Catholic Church has paid to its victims.

In a new report from BishopAccountability—a nonprofit that tracks abuse allegations within the Catholic Church—the out-of-court settlements and civil suit cases have cost the church a staggering $3.8 billion.

The report states that the organization has documented “settlements involving 5,679 persons who allege sexual abuse by Catholic clergy,” which have been paid through 2009.

Some settlements opt not to state the number of clergy members that were accused, making it difficult to discern just how many clergymen were involved, according to CNN.

The report states that the victims they’ve highlighted “are only one-third of the 15,235 allegations that the bishops say they have received through 2009, and they are only 5 percent of the 100,000 U.S. victims that Fr. Andrew Greeley estimated in a 1993 study.”

The largest single settlement payment that was made occurred in 2007 in Los Angeles, California. According to the report, 221 priests, brothers, lay teachers and other church employees were named by 508 victims, and a grand total of $660,000 was paid to those victims in the settlement.

The reported settlements not only include monetary compensation but also feature non-monetary provisions such as establishing a toll-free victim hotline and victim assistance programs.

BishopAccountability spokesman Terry McKiernan told CNN the number of associated clergy is difficult to calculate because some settlement announcements omit the number of predator priests.

The monies have not gone solely to survivors, McKiernan said. Attorneys get a cut, too. And not all the money comes out of the coffers of the Catholic Church, because the church maintains insurance policies that cover a portion of the settlement payments.

Catholic Church Sex Abuse Victims Are Everywhere

According to the data BishopAccountability has compiled, payouts and claims have been issued across the nation, including in Kentucky, Oregon, Delaware, Alaska, Washington, Iowa, Massachusetts, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, Louisiana, Missouri, Wisconsin, Vermont, Connecticut, Arizona, Rhode Island, New Jersey, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Ohio, New York, Florida and Illinois.

The report follows a Pennsylvania grand jury finding that more than 300 predator priests abused more than 1,000 children in six Catholic diocese in Pennsylvania from the 1940s through the early 2000s.

The report added that the “real number” of abused children might never be known since some secret church records were lost, and victims were afraid to come forward.

The grand jury described the church’s methods as “a playbook for concealing the truth” after FBI agents identified a series of practices they found in diocese files.

A number of other states have since opened investigations into claims of abuse perpetrated by clergy in the Catholic Church.

The scandal has reached all the way to Pope Francis.

Earlier this week, Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano dropped on bombshell on the church saying the Pope has been covering up sexual abuse in the Catholic Church for years and must resign.

The Archbishop served as the papal nuncio (that is, Vatican ambassador) to the United States from 2011-2016, and claims he personally told Pope Francis about sexual sins by high ranking priests in 2013.

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