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How to Talk to Your Drummer

By
Mike O’Brien
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communicating with the unchurched

For many worship leaders communicating with your fellow musicians is a huge challenge. It can be very intimidating to give an opinion about an instrument you don’t play.

Since the drummer and the drumset play such a critical role in the overall sound of our bands, here are here are several ideas of how you can talk to your drummer.

1.  Learn the Names of Drums and Cymbals 

Throne – The stool the drummer sits on is called a “throne” — and no that’s not a joke! Most drum thrones are adjustable and you might suggest raising or lowering the throne if you have a new drummer or someone unfamiliar with your church kit.

Kick Drum (aka Bass Drum) – This is usually the biggest drum on the drumset. It is hit with a pedal that has a beater attached. This drum has the lowest frequency of the drumset. It is a very important part of the overall sound. The bass guitar should interplay with this drum.

“Let’s really lay into that kick drum on this song.”  

“Don’t play the kick at all during the first verse.” 

Snare – Equally as important as the kick, the snare drum is commonly what plays the backbeat (where you want to clap). Snare drums can be tuned high or low. Snare drums can be struck in the center and on the edge of the head for different tones. You can turn the snares (the metal strings that line the bottom snare head) on or off and they can be adjusted to rattle more or less. You can hit just the rim of this drum for a muted click sound that can be pleasing (this is technically called a “cross-stick” although some mistakenly call it a “rimshot” which is something else).

“Play the snare really loose on this section.”  

“Maybe try a cross stick rim thing on this part?”  

Hi-Hats – These two cymbals join together on a specialized stand that is hit with a stick or “chicked” by simply depressing the pedal with your foot. If your foot is pressed down hard these will have a quick, tight sound when struck,  the more you lift your foot the louder and more wild they become when struck. How “open” the hi-hats are when hit will DRASTICALLY alter the volume and perceived volume of the drumset.

“Can you close the hi-hats a bit more?” 

“What would it sound like if we just keep the hi-hat going during the chorus instead of ride?” 

Tom(s) – These drums are powerful for creating transitions between song parts. They are the most melodic elements of the drumset and can create pleasing (or irritating) rhythmic patterns.

“Let’s do a tom fill going into that outro.” 

“Lay off on the toms to open up space under that guitar solo.” 

Floor Tom(s) – This is the larger of the toms and can be used to create low-end power and energy. If you have subwoofers in your sound system then should be rocking when this drum is hit.

“Can you play eighth notes on the floor tom instead of the hi-hat?” 

Crash Cymbal(s) – These typically have shorter sustain and add an accent to song sections or transitions.

“I like that bigger crash on that intro.” 

Ride Cymbal – This is a complex cymbal that can have a “ping” sound or “washy” sound. The sound changes depending on where you hit it.

“Maybe a little more wash on this part and less ping?” 

Splash Cymbal – These cymbals are super small and provide a very high pitched and short sustaining accent.

“Can you take the splash cymbal home and never bring it back?” 

Chime Tree, Tambourine, and Shaker – Random percussion can add pleasing elements to the song selections. It’s common for a drummer to use a shaker for a verse section or for the whole song. You could use a tambourine laying on a floor tom for accents.

“You can only rake the chime tree only two times in this song… thank you.” 

“Let’s do a tambo hit on 2 and 4 instead of the snare for this section.” 

2. Learn and Speak the LANGUAGE OF RHYTHM for Drummers 

Kick, hi-hat, and ride cymbal rhythms are vital to the feel of the song sections. You might simply ask the drummer to “play busier” or “play simpler”, but if you know a more specific language, it would be helpful.

“What about just quarter notes on the kick drum?”

“Can you try eighth notes on the ride cymbal?” (quarter notes are simple, eights are busier, sixteenths are really busy).

“Let’s do sixteenth notes on the hi-hats.”

“Let do diamonds when the bridge starts (a diamond is when a drummer simply just “hits” the crash and kick once and then lets it fade.”

You can also communicate vibe through language like this:

“Play it straight.”
“Can we give it a little swing.”
“Let’s rush the beat.”
“Let’s drag the beat.”

3. Know the Names and Functions of DIFFERENT STICK Varieties   

You wouldn’t know it visiting many churches, but world-class drummers use a variety of sticks. You might suggest a different kind of stick depending on the song or style. Here are some basic options:

Wooden Sticks – the most common device for striking the drums. They come in all kinds of sizes and with plastic or wooden tips. Drumsticks have a fast attack and can add a punchy sound.

Hot Rods  (Bundle Sticks) – a popular option for helping bring down the volume or perceived volume of the drumset. These kinds of sticks can drastically change the tone of the drums depending on the player. Hotrods have less attack and “punch”. It’s common, especially with newer drummers to experiment with wooden sticks vs. hotrods to help find the right volume for a room.

“Do you mind trying hot rods on this song?”

Brushes – Mostly associated with jazz or ballads, brushes will produce a drastically different sound from regular drumsticks. In many worship contexts using brushes on one or more softer songs can be pleasing. Many drummers will be intimidated if they have not used brushes in the past, but you can always encourage experimentation.

“Let’s try brushes on this song, play them just like sticks.”

Mallets – These sticks have a soft ball of yarn wrapped at the tip of the stick and are great for cymbal swells and toms. They sound great on a snare drum if you turn the snare “off” (most snare drums have a clutch that releases the snares off the bottom of the drum head). Some songs might benefit from a groove or pattern played with mallets.

“Can we try a snare off the sound on this song?”

“Let’s do some mallet swells on this section.”

“Go to mallets on the end section.”

A Sampling of Language 

The following are common phrases I will communicate with a drummer during a rehearsal.

“Drop out, but keep the hats going.” 

“I like that kick pattern, but can you play something simpler?” 

“Let’s start with a tom fill at the top.” 

“Give me lots of energy on that bridge section.” 

“Keep it really sparse and simple through this part.” 

MY BEST ADVICE

This might seem like crazy talk, but consider taking a few drum lessons from a local teacher (even if you are very experienced on other instruments). Share with the instructor that you want to understand the language and basics of the instrument. For instance, if you learn how to properly hold the stick YOU can train up countless new drummers with confidence. Just a few lessons will increase your conviction and give you the authority to speak into the performance.

The original article appeared here.

The Key to Launch New Small Groups in Your Church This Fall

By
Allen White
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communicating with the unchurched

Nothing will accelerate your group launch faster than the right topic. When you choose a theme for an alignment series that is a common felt need in your congregation and your community, people will run to join groups. But, the reverse can also be true. Choosing the wrong topic will drive them away.

1. More “Mature” Topics Will Limit Your Launch

Several years ago, I was working with a church that started every year with a 21-day fast. They wanted to design a curriculum to support the fast. While I would never attempt to talk a church out of such a significant initiative, I did caution them that forming new groups might be a little challenging. On the bright side, the refreshments would be very easy. They started a handful of new groups for their members and had a great experience with their fast. But, they were far from involving the entire congregation.

Some topics are for more mature believers rather than for people in the community who may have never darkened the door of your church. Anything to do with money: budgeting, giving, generosity, capital campaigns and so on are challenging to form groups around. While many people need help managing their finances, too many evangelists desiring $65 million jets have created a poor association between the church and money for most of the world. Don’t go there.

Other topics like evangelism, spiritual disciplines and spiritual gifts are great for the congregation, but probably won’t draw much interest from the community. There are ways to promote these topics more indirectly.

Instead of creating an alignment series around a capital campaign, why not create a series around what the church is raising money for? If the church is taking new initiatives to help the poor or become a resource in the community, then these are the topics to promote. Maybe the church is investing in the next generation. People are very concerned about the world their children will grow up in. They can get behind the vision of the church to reach the community, and then they might even give.

Instead of creating curriculum to teach your people evangelism, why not produce a series that is evangelistic? Talk about the needs in the community. You could even include a presentation of the Gospel. You could do evangelism with the curriculum rather than teaching how to do evangelism. A series like All In focuses on the story of Jesus and offers the Gospel message.

There are ways to introduce mature topics to a broader group. But, the largest group launches come from topics that touch a nerve.

2. Felt Need Topics Will Attract People Who Need Help

When you talk to your neighbors and others in your community, what are they concerned about? Many people struggle in their relationships, their marriages and their parenting. These are great felt need topics that can reach a broad audience.

People also deal with anxiety, worry and stress. Some feel like giving up or are lost in even successful careers. What will bring them meaning and hope? Anthony Bourdain, the celebrity chef who recently committed suicide, once asked, “What do you do after your dreams have come true?” Even those who seem to have it all often feel a deep void. How can your series help them?

Of course, the granddaddy of all church-wide campaigns is The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren. Other series which have drawn in the community include Kerry Shooks’ One Month to Live, Live Like You’re Dying and Half Time by Bob Buford. I’ve worked with churches to produce series that deal with leaving a legacy, common fears, hope or ambition that have helped some churches more than double their current numbers of groups. A couple of churches now have twice as many people in groups than they have in weekend attendance.

3. What Is Your Senior Pastor Passionate About?

The best topic you can choose for a successful curriculum and group launch is the idea that your pastor is the most passionate about. Does he have a life message or dominant theme he speaks about often? Does she have a clear direction on what the Fall series should be? The best topic is not necessarily the hottest topic to the church, but the hottest topic for your pastor.

Once you have that direction, you don’t have to start with a blank piece of paper. Most pastors have files full of sermons they’ve preached over the course of their ministries. There is no shortage of content. Why not research the pastor’s hot topic in past sermon files? You’ll be surprised what you come up with.

And, remember, you’re not creating the next Purpose-Driven Life! Your study may not make the bestseller list, but your pastor’s teaching on your video-based curriculum will be very popular with your congregation. What’s even better is that when your felt need topic draws in the friends, neighbors and co-workers of your members into groups, they will be introduced to your pastor through the video curriculum. When these new folks are invited to church, they will feel like they already know your pastor from the videos!

The topic will make or break your next alignment. Where are you headed?

This article originally appeared here.

The Revival That Ignited Louis Zamperini’s Unbroken Legacy of Faith

By
Luke Zamperini
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communicating with the unchurched

Louis Zamperini’s incredible journey took him from…

  •      Torrance High School to…
  •      The University of Southern California to…
  •      The 1936 Berlin Olympic Games to…
  •      The Pacific Theater of World War II to…
  •      A Japanese concentration camp to…
  •      Home as an American hero!

After those formative years in Torrance, California, Louis moved from one life-changing event to the next. But the most significant event of all occurred when he walked into a big circus tent in Los Angeles one October night in 1949.

Louis listened to a young evangelist, Billy Graham, and he accepted the preacher’s challenge to receive the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ. After a deep internal battle that evening, Louis knelt down in that tent and gave his heart to Jesus.

The anger, hate and self-loathing that had been fighting after the war all came to a radical end, dissipating into the night air like a vapor. The transformation filled him with love and hope and compassion—a true rebirth of the spirit. His drinking and the nightmares stopped, never to return again. His marriage was not only saved, but it endured as a happy, winsome partnership for the remainder of their lives.

My childhood was one to be envied. I was blessed with loving, caring parents. Of course, if my dad had refused to go with my mom to hear Dr. Graham that night, my life would have been much different. Come to think of it, I may not have even existed.

The world knows Louis Zamperini as a survivor and war hero. I knew him as my dad. Growing up, we all reveled in his friendship with Billy Graham. My mother spoke fondly of that life-altering night when my dad committed his life to Christ in that big tent in Los Angeles.

But my dad still had some personal work to do.

The words of Jesus to “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us” hit him like a lightning bolt from Heaven. He reveled in God’s forgiveness, which was also offered him by his beloved Cynthia. She had been more than ready to walk out: the excessive drinking, the contempt, the verbal abuse—it all drove her to seek escape from a relationship that went from intense, giddy romance to deep anguish and dark despair.

My mom forgave my dad, forgave him for all of that and more. She believed in the sincerity of his commitment. And she had faith in the gospel message that changed him.

Now, Louis Zamperini was challenged to “love your enemies.” How does that work when your enemies were as vile as his had been?

He thought about those prison guards and what might happen if they encountered the same offer of life and forgiveness that he found in that Los Angeles circus tent. He felt God’s call to travel to Japan to speak to his captors.

In 1950, he went back to Sugamo Prison. It was a stunning moment in time. There they were, seated quietly in rows on the floor; a gathering of the same guards who stood as sentries during Louis’ imprisonment.

My dad asked specifically that “The Bird,” Mutsuhiro Watanabe, be present. He was told that his tormentor was dead—he had committed suicide (Harakiri, a Samurai honor ritual). Instead, Watanabe had escaped into hiding. By the time of my dad’s visit to Japan, “The Bird” was nowhere to be found.

Louis Zamperini stood before scores of guards in a bleak, hot room on the prison grounds where he had been beaten, starved, openly humiliated and threatened with beheading over and over again. All of that frightful emotion overwhelmed him like a rising tide.

But at the same time, an inexplicable peace that passes understanding filled him with compassion. He knew those men had been caught in an ugly war under a savage, sadistic regime. They were prisoners too. Now they had to live with the memories, just like Louis. Add to that, they also lived with that blinding guilt and shame.

Louis came knowing first-hand the power of forgiveness. He shared it with the men. As he did, the beauty of reconciliation filled the room. Tears flowed. Later, my dad wrote a letter to The Bird.

“…The post-war nightmares caused my life to crumble, but thanks to a confrontation with God through the evangelist Billy Graham, I committed my life to Christ. Love has replaced the hate I had for you. Christ said, ‘Forgive your enemies and pray for them.’

“[I met with the prison guards at Sugamo Prison]… At that moment, like the others, I also forgave you and now would hope that you would also become a Christian.”

Discover the rest of Louis Zamperini’s story in the new movie UNBROKEN: PATH TO REDEMPTION, opening in theaters September 14. Learn more at UnbrokenFilm.com.

Are We Worshiping Worship Songs?

By
David Santistevan
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communicating with the unchurched

Songs. We sing a lot of them. We write them. We hear them. We pick them out for every weekend service. But are we worshiping worship songs?

If you’re a worship leader, songs are your currency. You can’t exist without them.

For me, songs are a love/hate relationship. I enjoy them. I like singing them. But when it comes to worship, I feel like we tend to worship them.

Wouldn’t that be interesting if the very vehicle designed to help us worship actually kept us from worshiping?

Songs can get in the way of the real thing. We know how to sing but we’ve lost our ability to pray. We know how to pick songs but we don’t really know how to lead worship. We feel comfortable behind our guitars but don’t know how to lay our hands on the sick.

Are We Worshiping Worship Songs?

We attend worship events to hear our favorite bands and sing our favorite songs, but are we really connecting with our Maker?

I’m calling worship leaders to more of the real thing. Maybe we need to lead less worship and learn how to read our Bibles again. Maybe we need to lay aside our talents for a season and re-capture a heart for the lost. Maybe we need to get off the stage and have conversations with suffering widows. Maybe. Just maybe.

Well, songs could be a problem.

But…Songs connect us. Songs inspire us. Songs help us process our pain and remember the promises of God when we need them the most.

Songs matter.

But let’s not forget that the greatest song is a life laid down. Let’s get back to living the life and being real.

Worship Leader, you need to be a Christian before you are a musician. You need to love Jesus before you love songs. It’s these disciplines and this foundation that gives you authority as a leader.

  • Let’s pray for the people we lead.
  • Let’s read our Bibles.
  • Let’s spend time with Jesus even if it doesn’t produce a song, a book, or a sermon
  • Let’s study more about the fullness of God.
  • Let’s share the Gospel with our neighbors.
  • Let’s invite people into our lives.
  • Let’s love Jesus with abandon.

What do you say?

This article originally appeared here.

Why I Quit Church (and the Surprise That Brought Me Back)

By
Matt Chambers
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communicating with the unchurched

About 16 years ago, I pretty much gave up on church. Here’s why I quit church.

Because I was a preacher’s kid, and it would have caused an international incident, I couldn’t stop attending…but I gave up.

Why?

Well, I was 15 at that point, had been going to church functions since I was in amniotic fluid, and somewhere around the age of 11, I started realizing that a lot of the Christians around me were…well…jerks.

I would read about Jesus and how he treated people, then I’d look at Christians, and the two just didn’t match up. That’s one reason I quit church.

Sometimes, we’d go by the church to surprise my dad in the middle of a workday, and there’d be someone in his office yelling at him for changing the carpet or not using the choir robes.

We would receive threatening anonymous letters at our house…certain church members would interrupt the service to call meetings.

They wanted to edit sermon content.

They hated the music.

They controlled the finances.

They cursed.

They slandered.

They schemed.

They humiliated…just like Jesus would have done…right?

But there was one event that still sits in the front of my mind that gives me much pause to this day. At one point, my father decided to use a smaller lectern to preach from instead of the large, ornate, traditional pulpit. Of course, the backlash from a select few was outrageously harsh.

Finally, in one uproarious meeting, the statement was made that when my father had removed the larger pulpit, he had also removed God from our church.

It took me a long time to be able to look past the theological idiocy of that statement to what the person was really saying.

A few years ago, I got to meet one of my heroes, Frederick Buechner, who was in town for a series of lectures at a local college. During a Q-and-A session, someone asked Rev. Buechner where he attended church. I’m sure his answer wasn’t quite what anyone was expecting:

“I don’t always attend church, actually. Because not every church is alive with the Spirit of God. I only attend where and when I know the Spirit is.”

That certainly was not what people were hoping to hear, but it was the truth.

In Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, Gandalf writes a letter to the hobbits. Included in the letter is a poem that cryptically refers to the return of Aragon, the King. That portion of literature may not be all that well-known, but there’s a line from the poem I hear and read frequently:

Not all who wander are lost.

Indeed.

But I would add this: Not all who wander are lost…but all who wander are searching.

The Christian School Dilemma: Producing Legalists, Hedonists or Activists

By
Greg Stier
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communicating with the unchurched

I went to a Christian school. My kids go to a Christian school. I’m not anti-Christian school (or home school or public school for that matter). But I am convinced that Christian schools have a dilemma. The leadership of these schools must decide if they are they going to produce legalists, hedonists or activists.

Traditionally, most Christian schools (in my opinion) tend to produce little legalists or hell-bent hedonists. Students either buy off on the rules of said Christian school (and begin to gauge their spirituality by adherence to the list of do’s and don’ts) or they rebel against the list and, often times, the Lord.

I experienced this personally in the small Christian high school I graduated from in the 1980s.

My school had a lot of rules that the students were expected to keep. The guys had to have their hair super short and the girls had to have their dresses super long. Even the cheerleaders had full length skirts (but the weird double-standard was that the guys on the basketball team wore shorts that were so short they would make George Michael of Wham! fame blush).

While these words were never said out loud it felt like they were constantly being preached, “If you keep our rules, read daily from the King James version of the Bible, memorize verses of Scripture word for word (as well as the verse references), go to church every time the doors are open, don’t have sex before you’re married and share Christ at least once a week then you’ll be holy…like us.”

I kept the rules, memorized the verses, shared the Gospel weekly, was there every time the doors were open, and just said “no” to drugs, drink and sex. My ability to adhere to the list was how I gauged my spirituality.

Down deep inside I had turned into a little legalist.

This legalism led to a consistent struggle with pride and lust in the deep dark crevices of my soul. It was a constant battle with the flesh, fueled by the aphrodisiac of legalism. As Colossians 2:23 reminds us, “Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom…but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.”

And many of my fellow Christian schoolmates didn’t even try to fake a facade. They just gave into the flesh. They cut sail and turned into hedonists. They mocked the rules. They drank and partied. They rebelled against the list as well as the Lord.

Not much has changed since the ’80s. I still believe that, for the most part, Christian schools tend to produce legalists or hedonists.

But there is a third option. Christian schools, if they changed their paradigm, could produce Spirit-fueled, Gospel activists.

In spite of the legalism at the Christian school I went to there was a certain Gospel activism that stirred something inside many of us. We were encouraged to share our faith with others in our neighborhoods. Every Friday night we were challenged to join other teenagers at local shopping malls to share our faith. Our Christian school inspired us all with a holy cause, to reach the lost at any cost. They also equipped us to do it. We were all trained to share our faith clearly and confidently.

This Gospel activism gave me a purpose that transcended the list. It gave me a goal, a mission and a vision to carry out the last and lasting mandate of Jesus to make disciples (Matthew 29:19,20).

The year after graduating from high school I finally discovered that the same Gospel that saves the lost also sanctifies the believer. I began to re-discover this good news of God’s grace for myself. This Gospel was not just for the unbeliever, but for the believer. It was not just to save the lost from hell but to save us, as believers, from both legalism and hedonism.

My Christian school had activated me with a Gospel mission but not a grace mindset. I thank God that he revealed to me the freedom of walking by faith and being fueled by grace during my freshman year of college.

I am convinced that Christian schools who activate their students with a Gospel mission and a grace mindset can produce activists who not only own their faith, but share their faith.

Call it gospelizing your Christian school if you will.

Last year the Christian school where my kids go, Faith Christian Academy, took some steps to gospelize our school. They purchased my book Gospelize Your Youth Ministry for all 100+ of their teachers and leaders. They brought me in to train all of these teachers in the seven values of a Gospel Advancing Ministry.

The leadership at Faith Christian is considering taking even more decisive steps this year to accelerate the Gospel mission and grace mindset in and through their students this upcoming school year. Pray for them as they do. I believe that, if, through the power of God’s Spirit, they can do this, they will produce graduates who live their faith long-term and share their faith consistently.

I also believe that the steps they are taking could create a new template for Christian schools, one that produces far more activists than legalists or hedonists.

It’s time for a new kind of Christian school. It’s time for gospel advancing, disciple multiplying Christian schools that activate their students to accomplish the Cause of Christ and produce passionate followers of Christ who will change the world.

If you are a teacher or leader at a Christian school and would like a free digital copy of my book Gospelize Your Youth Ministry (which could just as easily be titled, “Gospelize Your Christian School,” then click here.

7 Keys to Balancing Ministry and Home

By
Dale Hudson
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communicating with the unchurched

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with everything you have on your plate? Feel like there’s just not enough hours in a day to accomplish everything at home and church?

It’s a tension that you must learn to manage if you want to go the distance in ministry.

In my coaching program, I ask everyone that is participating this question.

Can you go the distance with your current pace?

Often, the answer is “no.”

What about you? Can you sustain your current pace long-term? Let’s go a little deeper; can you sustain your current pace and be happy? And be a good parent? And be a good spouse?

Being fully present when you’re at work and fully present when you’re at home is not an easy task. But it can be done with the right strategy and commitment. Let’s talk about seven keys you can use to keep home and ministry balanced.

Key #1 – Work when you are at work and then get home. Sometimes when someone says they are always at the church working, they may be at the church, but they may not be working as much as they think they are. Take out an extended lunch, time on social media, time just chit-chatting with co-workers and time just goofing off, and those “long hours working” at church are reduced.

If you want more time to spend at home and with your family, then get your work done and go home. This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun or any relax time at work, but it does mean you are focused and not wasting time.

Key #2 – Set time for your family on your calendar just like you would for a ministry appointment. You know what happens. You have a date night planned with your spouse. But an afternoon phone call comes in that a couple is about to divorce and want to come talk with you that evening.

What should you do? Drop the dinner with our spouse and meet with them? Not if you already have an appointment that evening with your spouse. Just kindly let them know you already have a meeting that night, but you’ll be glad to meet with them the next day.

And don’t feel “guilty” about it. How are you going to help other peoples’ marriages if you don’t have a strong marriage yourself? How will you teach a parenting class if you don’t spend time investing in your own child?

Key #3 – Know the season of life you are in. Seasons of life can heavily influence how you do ministry. If your kids are in preschool or elementary, you will need to be home more in the evenings and block out time for them. When you become an empty-nester, you will have more time available to do things you want to do. But right now focus on your children. They will be grown and gone before you know it. You only get one chance to raise them.

Key #4 – Learn to say “no.” If you study the ministry of Jesus, you will see that He didn’t heal everyone. There were times He said “no” and pulled away to spend time in prayer and resting.

Often, people in ministry are people pleasers. We are wired to be available to serve people whenever they need us.

But if you don’t stay balanced, you can end up losing your own family. And then you’ll lose your credibility to minister to others.

Sometimes you have to say “no” to something that is good, so you can make something else great. If you’re going to go the distance, then learn to say that powerful little word—no.

Key #5 – Take your day off and use your vacation time. Many leaders fall into the trap of not taking their day off. They tell themselves they are too busy. Sunday won’t happen if they take a day off. And the longer they stay in that mode, the harder it is to be balanced.

Here’s a little tip that I wish I’d have thought about when my kids were younger. Rather than spending major dollars on buying your kids “stuff” at Christmas and on their birthday, cut back on what you spend on “stuff” and instead use the money to make some memories with them. Go on a road trip. Take them to an amusement park. Take them on a camping trip. Go snow skiing together. Here’s the reasoning behind it.

Kids will quickly grow tired of the “stuff” you buy them. But they will never forget the trips you took with them. They will never forget the money you spent making memories with them. They will always remember the time you camped out or sang Christmas carols by a campfire or went bowling as a family.

Key #6 – Set a quitting time and obey the clock. Have you ever looked at the clock at work and it says you should go home. But you tell yourself you’ve just got to finish up what you’re working on. You just need 20 minutes to wrap it up. Twenty minutes later you look up and tell yourself it will only take 10 more minutes. It keeps going and when you finally arrive home, dinner is cold and your spouse has already put the kids to bed.

This happens quite often and eventually becomes a pattern for you. Your spouse tries to get you to come home and spend time with the kids. You listen and know he or she is right, but you just can’t seem to get out of the grip of “what I have to accomplish.”

If that’s the case, then it’s time to set a quitting time that will get you home in time for dinner and keep you there engaged with your family. Let 5 o’clock be your boss and obey him and go home. What you are working on, will be there tomorrow.

Of course, there will occasionally be things pop up that you can’t control or push to tomorrow. But that should be the exception and not the norm.

Key #7 – Maximize your time by managing your time. What if you started managing your time more closely? Identifying what you are doing that shouldn’t be warranting your time? Maximizing your time by organizing and prioritizing your tasks? You will be surprised how much time you can get back.

I share several time management tools in my coaching program that can help you be more productive and more balanced at the same time. You can get more information at this link.

I know by experience that when you become unbalanced, it will catch up to you and you’ll look back and regret not having balance. I had to learn the hard way that balance is a non-negotiable, if you want to go the distance and finish strong. Not being balanced can take you down for the count. It took me down and I almost didn’t make it back. You can read about what happened at this link.

As a ministry leader, you have to keep a lot of plates spinning, don’t you? The ministry plate…the family plate…the chores plate…the hobbies plate…counseling plate…preparing lessons plate…event plate…friends plate…there is no shortage of plates we have to keep spinning.

But there will be times when you simply can’t keep all those plates spinning. When that happens and you have to decide which plate to drop…do one thing…make sure you don’t drop the family plate.

Your turn. How do you keep your ministry responsibilities and family balanced? Share your thoughts with us the comments below.

This article originally appeared here.

97 Percent of Leaders Are Shockingly Making This Critical Mistake

By
Brian Dodd
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communicating with the unchurched
Your level of preparation determines the level of value you place on those receiving your product, service, art or leadership. 

On the July 16th edition of The Herd With Colin Cowherd, Colin recounted a conversation he had with Hall of Fame tight end Tony Gonzalez. Gonzalez shockingly stated 60 percent of NFL players do the bare minimum. That’s right. With all the God-given talent they were given and all the financial incentives a pro football player has, over half give the bare minimum. They do just enough to get by.He also pointed out maybe 30 percent are committed. Finally, he said players like him, really committed and giving everything they have, are maybe 3 percent.

Colin also discussed the video above. Jerry Seinfield is a legendary performer and comedian. He tells the story of a two-year journey he took to write a single joke about Pop-Tarts! That, my friends, is commitment! Jerry would be in the top 3 percent of comedians who are really committed to their craft.

If you ask Tony Gonzalez, he would tell you 97 percent of leaders are making the critical mistake of not giving everything they have. Ninety-seven percent of leaders are not completely committed. I would agree with him because for over two decades I did the bare minimum to get by as well. In my book Timeless: 10 Enduring Practices Of Apex Leaders, I wrote a chapter titled “Apex Leaders Work Hard, Very Hard.” While discussing the work habits of the world’s greatest leaders, I also tell my personal story of wasted effort and opportunity.

Here are just some of the areas I see leaders mailing it in:

  1. Public Speaking – They just wing it, rely on old messages, and do not adequately prepare.
  2. Difficult Tasks – They put them off.
  3. Hard Conversations – They avoid them.
  4. Attitude – They say, “Why do anything today you can put off to tomorrow?”
  5. Effort – They do the bare minimum to get by. Jon Gordon, the famous author and performance coach, would say these individuals are carpenters, not craftsman.

Here is the hard truth, and once again, I speak from experience. A leader knows when he or she did not give their best. They may fool everyone else but they cannot fool themselves. A leader knows when he or she did just enough to get by. A leader knows when he or she mailed it in. A leader knows when he or she cheated their audience, company or team.

Finally, here is the hardest of truths. ,One day your audience, company or team will discover it as well. When that time comes you will lose all influence because they will know your level of preparation determined the level of value you placed on them who received your product, service, art or leadership.

You cheated them and they know it. Worse yet, you cheated yourself.

Jerry Seinfield spent two years perfecting a joke. How long are spending on your next assignment?

This article originally appeared here.

Pastor: A Note From Your Guest Preacher

By
Joe McKeever
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communicating with the unchurched

I had the privilege of preaching in your church recently. As a retired pastor, not far from my 80th year on the planet, I’m honored when a pastor invites me to fill his pulpit. Sometimes, as was the case last Sunday, the pastor is on vacation. At other times, I’m leading a Friday/Saturday event for a specific group–leadership, deacons, seniors—and the pastor asks me to stay and preach for the Sunday morning service. I’m always delighted to do so.

First, just so you’ll know…

I’m not coming with my own agenda for your people. My entire aim is to honor Christ and bless His church. From the time you first call inviting me to preach, I begin praying for the Father to lead me on what to do and how to do it.

Even if I preach something I’ve used in other churches, this is no so-called “sugar stick.” I’m endeavoring to be obedient to the Lord with what He has given me.

As your guest, I will not be critical of how you are doing things in your church. I will leave no suggestions on your desk on how to improve your worship service or ways to deal with certain problems in your church. You didn’t invite me as a “mystery shopper” and I’m grateful not to have that burden. That said, however…

If you wish my take on your church, from my single visit, I’m be happy to give it. But you’ll have to ask. Typically, the request is worded like this: “Joe, if you saw anything we could improve on, I’d love to have it.”

As a rule the pastor who is sharp and secure enough to request this is already on top of his church’s issues. Almost invariably when asked for my criticisms, I have none.

Even so, you’ll have to ask if you want it.

Now, here are some thoughts on this business of guest-preaching in churches. I hope it will help you in the future…

–It’s always good when you contact your guest preacher a couple of weeks prior to the event just to confirm plans. Everyone who does what I do knows the uneasy feeling of having an event on his calendar for many months, but having no contact from that pastor or church until the very last minute. I’ve sometimes called the host to say, “Are we still on for next Sunday?”

–People ask, “What’s the first thing you notice when you arrive at a church?” I answer, “The church building and grounds. Are they neat and cared for?” What else? Inside, I look carefully at the pulpit/altar area of the church. Is there room for people to come and pray in the service? I love to invite worshipers to “fill the altar area” with prayer. Many will kneel, others stand and some may choose to sit on the front pew. Is there room? It says a lot about the church if the front of the sanctuary/worship center is open, roomy, attractive, and inviting.

–A sharp staff (worship leader, other ministers leading in the service) is a great credit to a church and a wonderful reflection on the lead pastor. Staffers who are excellent hosts to the visiting preachers speak volumes about their leadership team.

–An attentive congregation during the sermon does not necessarily mean I’m doing a terrific job. Although it may. (Smile, please) What it shows is that the people have learned to listen to a sermon well. It’s a great tribute to their pastor. No congregation that sleeps through sermons Sunday after Sunday suddenly comes alive when a guest preacher steps into the pulpit. But if they are alert and involved from the first, it’s because they’ve had good leadership.

What should you pay the guest preacher?

–That’s up to you, of course. It’s a rare guest preacher who has a fee schedule. But if the remuneration is going to be unusually small—due to the tiny congregation or heavy expenses the church is dealing with—or even no pay at all, you should tell the guest up front.

–The typical church will want to cover the guest’s mileage at the standard rate allowed by the IRS, and give him an honorarium. And if the great distance means he spends a full day en route, you should take that into consideration. (When a minister invited me to speak to his church’s seniors at a weekday meeting, he said, “We don’t normally pay our speakers for this.” I answered, “If your church is hurting financially, no problem. But if they aren’t, you should consider that I’ll be driving two hours each way, and in addition to speaking to your people, I’ll be sitting there for a couple of hours sketching them all.” He’d not thought this through, obviously. They were generous in the check.)

Religious Liberty Brings World Leaders to Washington Next Week

By
Bob Ditmer
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communicating with the unchurched

Next week, officials from 80 countries that have a record of advancing religious freedom, 40 foreign ministers, as well as religious and civil society leaders from around the world, will gather in Washington, D.C., to discuss religious liberty at the invitation of U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. This Ministerial to Advance Religious Freedom is a first for the State Department and Pompeo’s first major ministerial event.

In a Salem Media radio interview with Hugh Hewitt this week, Pompeo called the summit “historic,” and said, “We believe religious freedom is central to the world, and to, frankly, America’s place in the world.”

Pompeo is hoping to move the needle in favor of religious freedom in countries around the world by helping them to understand how it “fits into a democratic society, how it makes sense for each country, how it can improve economies.” Indicating there will be new initiatives announced next week, the Secretary also told Hewitt, “We believe that improving respect for religious freedom requires more than just talk, and so we’re bringing people together.”

Some of those attendees live in countries where there is no religious freedom, Pompeo went on to say, so being able to meet with others who are aware of those difficulties helps create a “support system” for them when they return home.

Participants in the summit will hear from survivors of religious persecution, as well as Pompeo; Sam Brownback, U.S. ambassador-at-large for international religious freedom; and Vice President Mike Pence.

The State Department’s website said the focus of the event will be on finding “concrete ways” to fight religious persecution and discrimination and to ensure religious freedom for all.

It will offer information about how groups can access financial support from the U.S., as well as breakout sessions on the intersections between religious freedom and topics such as women’s rights and countering violent extremism. Other breakout sessions will focus on such things as confronting legal challenges to religious freedom, preserving cultural heritage and supporting victims of religious violence.

Christian Groups to Speak on Religious Liberty at Summit

One of the religious groups taking part is the James Dobson Family Institute. Executive director, Dr. Tim Clinton, will be speaking at the event on the importance of protecting a parent’s fundamental right to make critical decisions including counseling and healthcare. “It’s encouraging that people from all over the world are now openly supporting religious freedom and a new platform to discuss this issue is being built by the Trump administration. This event will set the stage for new frontiers and expansion of religious liberty for the family for decades and generations to come,” Dr. Clinton said.

Alliance Defending Freedom International’s CEO and general counsel, Michael Farris, will also speak at the event. He said, “Parental responsibilities are among our most important duties. Religious liberty and parental rights are inextricably bound and essential for true freedom and flourishing. Religious liberty cannot be left at the threshold when one enters the home. It is the obligation as well as the duty of every government to recognize and guarantee these fundamental human rights.”

Other religious groups at the ministerial include Concerned Women for America, Save the Persecuted Christians Coalition and the Southern Baptist Convention.

These Two Christian Athletes Aren’t Shy About Sharing Their Faith

By
Bob Ditmer
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communicating with the unchurched

A couple of professional sports stars are making the news because of their talent and faith.

Steph Curry, fresh off another NBA championship with the Golden State Warriors, is prepping his production company, Unanimous, to create several faith-based family-friendly films.

Curry, a two-time winner of the NBA’s Most Valuable Player award, told Variety that some of the films in the works will be stories with biblical Christmas and Easter themes, but won’t be “overly religious.”

“It’s not about me hitting people over the head with a Bible and telling them they have to believe a certain thing, or think a certain way,” Curry told Variety.

Another film in the making, Church Hoppers, will be a comedy where a group of guys help their friend navigate the dating scene at a series of churches.

Variety reports there will also be projects with sports and family themes.

Curry formed Unanimous Media with Jeron Smith, a former Nike brand manager and White House deputy director of digital strategy during the Obama administration, along with producer Erick Peyton.

He’s taking the movie making venture seriously. In fact, he told Variety this will be the first time he won’t play any basketball for a three-week period, instead focusing on his films.

Curry has always used his platform to point people to Jesus.

One of his favorite Bible verses is Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” In fact, it’s on his basketball shoes.

“I love that basketball gives me the opportunities to do good things for people and to point them towards the Man who died for our sins on the cross,” he wrote in a 2015 Fellowship for Christian Athletes article. “I know I have a place in heaven waiting for me because of Him, and that’s something no earthly prize or trophy could ever top.”

Christian Athletes Share Faith in All-Star Game

Meanwhile, Major League Baseball’s 83rd All-Star game Tuesday night will include Cincinnati Reds second baseman Scooter Gennett.

Gennett told Latino Sports that the Lord is vital to his life.  

“It’s been huge especially in this game that’s a game of failure,” he said. “There are a lot of ups and downs, mostly downs, and after I was baptized in 2013, I quickly learned that if my career was over right now, I would be OK. There are other things that I can do in this life. To know that at the end of the day, Heaven is waiting on me and not letting baseball become my god was huge. When you are going through those slumps, a lot of guys are like, ‘If I don’t get out of this, my life is over.’ So knowing that at the end of the day, I could work a normal job, die and go to Heaven, that’s great. That’s the Good News.”

The Reds’ All-Star second baseman says that prayer and communicating with God have helped him through many of the trials he’s faced in his life.

“I’ve been through some ups and downs,” Gennett said in 2015 when he was with the Brewers. “Without praying and without talking to God, I don’t think I would have gotten through. God’s with me wherever I go. Whether it’s on the field or in the locker room, He’s always with me. It all points back to the love of Christ who has a purpose for my life.”

Listed on Gennett’s social media accounts is the Bible verse 1 John 4:20.

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

When Gennett was with the Milwaukee Brewers he partnered with Open Arms home for Children in South Africa, which was started by Brewers broadcaster Davey Nelson.  

The charity provides a residential home for orphaned, abandoned or disadvantaged children and a few adults in the Eastern Cape of South Africa. They receive emotional, physical, spiritual and developmental support.

Gennett told Athletes In Action, “I hope to go spend some time there, not only to help provide food, toys and clothing, but to share Jesus, too.”

Teens, Tweens and Me

By
Cathe Laurie
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communicating with the unchurched

We meet every Tuesday, just the four of us. I bring the books and snacks, and they bring their sweet, 13-year-old selves. It’s such a delightful time, one I look forward to each week.

Ah, how I remember those teen years. You know what I’m talking about—the wild hormonal fluctuations and feeling so misunderstood. Longing desperately to fit in, doing your very best to not say the wrong thing. Yes, those were heavy times, so vastly different from my life now. But I do remember what it was like. I can’t help but look back now, and imagine how much better I would have navigated those muddy waters of the teen years—if only I would’ve had someone I trusted that was older, wiser and willingly available to live life alongside me. Someone who wouldn’t roll their eyes and laugh at my superficial insecurities, someone who had walked that path before, who could help me understand the transition between being a girl, to becoming a woman after God’s own heart.

I am tempted to panic over the way things are now for these kids. But I wonder…were they really that much better when I was a teen? Sex? Yep, that was everywhere. Drugs? Oh, you bet! Rock and roll? This is where we’ll need to part ways. Rock and roll was so much better then than it is now! But it was still just as subversive.

I was a young girl during the late ’60s, ages 11-13 years old. Like most younger sisters, I wanted to be just like my older sisters. Unfortunately, that meant following them down some paths that I probably wouldn’t have wandered alone. The power of influence is real, and it’s also a neutral thing—it can either be used for good or for bad. While every social media outlet, TV show, magazine and billboard is begging for teens to walk down the road to destruction, I want to stand at the intersection of this time in the lives of these young girls. I want to be there as a listening ear and a guiding hand, reaching out to lead the way for them.

So, how can we do this in a tangible way? I’m glad you asked! For us, it started off pretty simple. We began meeting together on Tuesdays, right after school lets out. I throw on my very best June Cleaver apron (am I showing my age here?) and make something homey, never too healthy. I don’t want them to have to pass on the snacks. These are 13-year-olds we’re talking about…bring on all of the comfort foods!

There is such simple joy in watching them eat, because it reminds me of the reason we meet together in the first place. As a mentor, we are choosing to nourish and nurture the young people we take under our wing. This includes praying, reading and talking with them. I always try to get them to talk and ask questions, because I don’t want to be the only one talking. As I share my heart with them, it opens the door for them to be vulnerable and comfortable enough to share what’s on their hearts as well.

When I open up and tell stories from my life—the mistakes made and lessons learned, it helps to illustrate the stories we’re reading, and gives them the courage to share their stories, too. In Titus chapter two, Paul shares the importance of us older women pouring into the younger women. It’s not just a good idea, it’s a fundamental command to follow in the life of a woman chasing after God.

Sometimes we laugh at each other, and it feels like an episode of Gilmore Girls—full of wit and endless banter. Other times, it is completely quiet and they just take it all in. And then there are times when we hit on a sensitive area, and they open up with things they’re going through. What an incredible opportunity, to be the one who gets to hear what’s on the hearts and minds of the next leaders of tomorrow. It’s so worth taking the time to invest in them, to listen to what they have to say.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. – Proverbs 27:17  

I think about each of these young women with their unique personalities, and their backstories are all different. Now, being open and sharing what’s going on in our lives is such a good thing, but it’s not my main goal. I long to pass on wisdom—practical, biblical wisdom that can help them face the battles in their lives, even when I’m not around to coach them. I also like to give them fun, every day wisdom to remember.

Like these few things:

When in doubt, wear black. It matches everything—especially…well, black. And it makes your life that much simpler. In a rush? Don’t know what to wear? Don’t look back, just wear black!

Now, this one is so important…don’t forget it. Always, and I mean always put butter on your biscuit. No “calories” this or “diet” that. Just butter the biscuit.

When eating, put your napkin on your lap. Hold your knife and fork properly. Chew with your mouth closed—the whole table will appreciate it, and you’ll worry less about getting food all over your face.

When talking with people, try to look them in the eye. Sure, it can get a little awkward at times, but it shows personal confidence and gives respect to the person you are speaking with. Shake hands with a firm grip. Sit up straight, and always walk with your head up.

When I share with these young girls the things my older self takes for granted, I’m surprised at how they respond. Despite the age gap, God’s Word is still so relevant! I don’t feel ready for this “mentoring” role, and when I am asked about it I always say, “Well, I am trying!” And really, isn’t that all God asks us to do? To obey His command to make disciples, and to work at all things as if working unto Him.

Do your best and leave the results up to God.

I have never felt ready, and if we’re not careful, we’ll wait for someone else to do it some other day. It’s easy to think about delaying this whole mentoring thing. You know, to say I’ll do it later on in life when I know an extra thing or two. But that’s not how God works. He doesn’t need us to be all polished up to use us, He just wants us to dust off our feet and keep blazing the trail He set before us. And He especially wants us to take others along for the ride!

When it comes to mentoring, don’t wait for someone else to do it someday. You are the someone and today is the day. Be intentional. Ready or not, the younger people in your life are taking notes on the way you live. Why not give them a life worth modeling? My mom never formally mentored me, but oh how I was watching and listening! She showed me what it looks like to be generous and thoughtful, to put prayer and devotion to God at the beginning of each and every day.

Mentorship isn’t a dictatorship, where you just tell others what to do and not do. It’s being there to help catch them when they fall, when they don’t take your advice. It’s a long-term commitment to be present, available and willing to tackle life’s hard times with those who are behind us in age. Sometimes it’s taking the afternoon off to listen to a young girl’s problems and challenges, helping them find their way through. Notice I said helping them to find their way through.

More than simply telling them what you know, or what you think they should do, you must help them learn how to listen to God’s voice for themselves and find their way through the challenges.

You don’t need to be perfect to mentor someone—you just need to be present and willing.

So, let’s do it! Let’s take God’s Word seriously and help plant it into the hearts of the young girls in our lives. Once upon a time, you were in their shoes, and because of that, they don’t have to walk alone. With God at the center and you by their side, there’s no limit to what they can do for the kingdom of God.

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare Your power to the next generation, Your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Psalm 71:18

This article originally appeared here. 

10 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Started Leading Worship

By
Julianna Morlet
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communicating with the unchurched

1. PASSION IS LEARNED, NOT TAUGHT

I didn’t figure this one out until I began raising up worship leaders. I teach girls who have amazing voices and no emotion. Nada. Yet I also teach girls with intermediate voices and amazing passion. Wanna know the common denominator between the passion girls? Life. Life experiences that drove them to a place where they were broken before God. That’s it.

And that brokenness is either the preliminary to or aftermath of spending quality time at the feet of the Lord. So if you feel as though your passion is lacking, study the Bible and be patient. Or look over your life and see where God has brought you from and how He has shaped and fashioned your life. Where were you five years ago?

2. INTERACT WITH YOUR PEOPLE

There is nothing more discouraging than executing a worship service and it ending up feeling like a rock concert; for both the church-goer and worship leader. For the congregation, there is some weird automatic pedestal that goes up when people step foot on a stage. I don’t know why, or where it started, but it is just a sad sorry fact because in reality, no one is worthy of a pedestal. (click to tweet)

Worship leaders, worship teams and pastors are real live people with the same issues and struggles as the congregation. We are made from the same fiber. We are no better than anyone else. So there has to be some sort of glass shattering, pedestal colliding action that creates a legitimate community worship experience. I’ll give you a hint: It’s authenticity.

3. GET YOUR WHOLE BAND ON A CLICK TRACK

There is something to be said for quality music in worship. There is not enough time or space to debate this here. I’m on the heart over talent side, but why choose when you can cultivate a culture of both. If you have the ability to raise or place into action quality musicians, do it. If you just don’t have those resources yet, obviously you can still have a very well executed worship time.

Holy Spirit does not work under the conditions of quality music. (click to tweet) Thank you, Jesus. But playing with a click track definitely glues a band together; professional and mediocre.

4. IT’S OK TO GO OLD SCHOOL

Hymns are some of the most powerful songs of worship ever written. Let me repeat. Hymns are some of the most powerful songs of worship ever written. I absolutely love them. Usually teams don’t play them because they fear bringing their church back into the old school world of music, but there are plenty of newer versions with the post-mod melodies and arrangements.

This isn’t a requirement thing, it’s a preference. But for me it’s so easy to get caught up in the new of worship that we forget how powerful the things of old are. They minister to people in absurd ways and sometimes the newer generations don’t even know the song is 100 years old! My favorites right now are “Come Thou Fount,” “It Is Well” and “The Lord’s Prayer.”

5. DON’T ASSUME ANYTHING

When teaching or talking through a song with your congregation, the worst thing you could do is assume that everyone there knows what you are doing, singing or talking about. A lot of churches have revolving doors with unbelievers just feeling things out. The worst thing that could happen is that they walk into a church and leave feeling like they were in a foreign country. We have a tendency to speak “Christian-ese” and not even realize that the average person has absolutely no idea what the holy spirit or sovereign or fellowship is. 

Now some of you have the words “dumb down” flashing through your heads right now. Let me clarify that that is not what I’m saying. I’m saying let’s be real. Teach your congregation. This should also be done in collaboration with your pastor. You are a team.

6. MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOUR PEOPLE

They want to know you see them. I understand being wrapped up in the spirit and closing your eyes when leading. I do it too. But I try to make sure that I connect with the people I am leading. I want them to know I like them. And I like hearing them.

I even choose a couple chairs in rehearsal and pray for the people who will be sitting in those specific chairs. Then during the service I make eye contact and smile at them. It may be all made up in my head, but I feel like it communicates something.

7. PLAN EVERYTHING

From the songs to the speaking to the verses to your prayers. Not because all those things have to be executed exactly as planned, but because planning gives more leeway for organized spontaneity. I have a hard time when I have to say a prayer or a short share time between songs and the only content I have is a topic sentence or key scripture.

So lately, I’ve been scripting my speaking and even my prayer, not so that I can read it, but because it forces me to think through everything and try out words and concepts behind the scenes instead of on the spot. Planning for such a fluid thing, like a worship service, sometimes seem oxymoronic. But it works.

8. RECORD AND WATCH BACK

Oh snap. This is one of the hardest but best things I’ve learned to do in worship leading. In every performance actually. It’s awkward and weird to see all the quirky things I do when singing. I make some crazy funny faces. But it makes me more aware of my stage presence: Am I distracting? Do I look fake? Do I look stiff? Etc., etc., etc.

It is also good to hear yourself: Am I on key? Do I ad lib too much? Is there too much blank space between songs? You can make this an exercise for your entire team, as well.

9. PRIORITIZE “TEAM” PLAYERS

Being a team player is crucial to productivity as a worship leader. I learned this lesson by watching other people. I saw how non-team players became the unaddressable, unavoidable elephant in the room. I also saw my tendencies toward that kind of leadership and vowed to keep myself in check by surrounding myself with people who could frankly speak into my life.

Teams accomplish more than one person. It’s a fact. The lack of teamwork is guaranteed prescription for burnout. (click to tweet)

10. DON’T TAKE THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY; IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU ANYWAY

As a creative, I am married to my art. I am self-conscious of my music, guitar playing, singing and writing because it is a part of me. It’s not just an occupation or a hobby. So when ideas get shut down, I used to (and sometimes still do) get totally offended because I couldn’t separate me from the work. But over the years, God’s patience has slowly convicted me and I now take everything with a grain of salt.

Let the little things be little things because worship leading isn’t about us anyway, right? It is about shepherding people to the place where God’s face is revealed.

Got any personal leading lessons to add?

This article originally appeared here.

Three Ways Churches Will Be Impacted in the Revitalization Wave That Is Coming

By
Thom Rainer
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communicating with the unchurched

Yes, I tend to be an optimist.

I am not, however, that type of optimist who refuses to face reality. If you have been a reader of my blog or listener to my podcasts, you know I am not hesitant to face harsh realities head on.

So, when I say a revitalization wave is about to come to our churches, I am serious about it. Indeed, I am obnoxiously optimistic about the future of congregations. In this post, I will address how churches will be impacted from a high-level perspective. In my post on Wednesday, I will share why I see this major trend on the horizon.

First, let’s agree there are 350,000 churches in North America. You can quibble with our estimates. Some say less; some say more. The exact number is not that important.

Second, let’s also agree there are 300,000, or 85 percent of all churches, needing some level of revitalization, from modest to radical revitalization. Bear with me until my Wednesday post where I make my case for these numbers.

So, how will these 300,000 churches in need of revitalization be impacted by the wave that is coming? Let’s look at three major categories.

  1. About one-third of these churches will revitalize organically. I wish you could see what I am seeing. Never in my life or ministry have I seen church leaders seeking a path of revitalization for their churches as much as I am now. I wish you could see on a smaller scale how many of these churches are using the Church Health Report™ for their congregations. I wish you could see the hunger, the desire and the willingness to pay the price to revitalize. About 100,000 congregations will likely revitalize organically. In other words, their revitalization will take place from within, rather than from a merger or being acquired.
  2. About one-third of these churches will revitalize through replanting and/or being acquired. Another 100,000 churches will not be able to revitalize organically, but they will have the faith and sacrificial attitude to give their facilities and other assets to another church for a church replant or acquisition or both. Frankly, this new attitude and willingness was largely unheard of just a few years ago.
  3. About one-third of these churches will decline and die. Unfortunately, 100,000 of the churches will not revitalize organically, nor will they be willing to give away their assets to another church. Some of these church leaders and members are in denial. Others have just given up. They give new meaning to the hymn “I Surrender All.”

I get it. The near-term closure of 100,000 churches is not good news. But look at the other side. Two of three churches, around 200,000, will revitalize organically or through replanting. That’s incredible news!

If you want to see what many churches are using as first-step tools for revitalization, see the Church Health Report™ or join us at Church Answers™ where we are growing healthy churches together.

It’s an exciting time. It’s a hopeful time. It is my prayer God will use many of us as His instruments for a mighty wave of revival and revitalization in our churches.

Let me hear your thoughts.

This article originally appeared here.

Breakups and Small Groups: 5 Things You Should Do

By
Chris Surratt
-
communicating with the unchurched

Dealing with the aftermath of a broken relationship within a small group can be extremely tricky for a leader. It would be easy for group members to choose sides and splinter the group. But the way the leader responds will set the direction of health and reconciliation for the couple—and the group. When dealing with breakups and small groups, what is a leader to do?

Here are five things a leader should do when a breakup happens:

1) Do not take sides. 
The leader’s and members’ roles are to love both people unconditionally. Taking sides will guarantee a split in the group.

2) Guide the couple toward professional counseling.
The leader or members should not take on the role of mediator between the couple. Talk to a pastor at the church about where to point the couple for biblical counseling.

3) Help them find new groups. 
If it’s impossible for them to stay in the current group, work with the church leadership to find a group where they can begin to heal.

4) Be honest and open with the group. 
Rumors and speculation will destroy the trust of the group. If there are members who are personally affected by the situation, meet with them individually outside of the normal group meeting time. It might be best to offer to meet with one of the church pastors at this point.

5) Allow God to strengthen relationships in the group.
Satan wants nothing more than to destroy marriages and relationships, and he will use this opportunity to plant seeds of distrust. Use this time to help couples in the group rededicate themselves to God and to each other. This is an ideal time to take the group through a good relationship study like this one.

This article originally appeared here.

6 Tips for Better Lesson Illustrations

By
Aaron Helman
-
communicating with the unchurched

Whenever someone asks me what they can do to become a better speaker…

…I start by telling them to work harder to develop excellent message illustrations.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve got technically perfect delivery, voice control, nonverbal skills and killer comedic timing.

If your illustrations don’t clearly and concisely connect one idea to another, your talk will fall flat.

At the same time, I’ve seen plenty of “technically deficient” speakers bring an awesome message on the strength of one unforgettable illustration.

Want to become a better speaker? Start by following these rules toward generating better message illustrations.

Before we get started, let me tell you where these rules came from. I’ve analyzed and torn apart more than 100 different talks I’ve given in my career. I’ve also done the same thing for other talks that I’ve seen.

Lastly, I’ve tried to study the illustrations that Jesus used throughout the Gospels. I’m convinced that in addition to everything else, Jesus was a Master Illustrator, and you’ll see some of that in this list.

So grab a piece of paper and a pen, and let’s get started.

1. Illustrations should be immediately recognizable to your crowd.
A while back, a youth speaker at my church shared an illustration about his favorite basketball player, Pistol Pete Maravich. Hardcore (or older) basketball fans will know that name, but Maravich retired from the NBA in 1980, 15 years before any of my students were even born.

The problem with this illustration was that in order for students to understand it, the speaker first had to spend a full eight minutes explaining who Maravich was.

Throughout the Gospels, Jesus shares bundles of farming illustrations because that was the idea that was most well-known to the most people in His context. They may have struggled to understand why Jesus was talking about a mustard seed, but they knew intimately what a mustard seed was.

It was a sad day when I retired the illustration about Michael Jordan’s “Flu Game” in 1997, but when it hit me that almost none of my students were alive when it happened and that most of them (incorrectly) thought LeBron James was the greatest basketball player of all time, I realized I didn’t have a choice.

I couldn’t help them understand the idea of Spiritual Endurance by relaying a story they didn’t know, hadn’t seen and didn’t care about.

Same thing goes for older movies and TV shows. It’s probably not worth explaining something they don’t understand to help them understand something else they don’t understand.

The Destructive Conversation in Your Head (and What to Do About It)

By
Carey Nieuwhof
-
communicating with the unchurched

There’s a conversation going on in your head almost all the time as a leader.

Let me guess. Most of the time it’s not pretty.

You rarely say these things out loud, because if you did, well first, it would be embarrassing. And second, you would never say anything remotely this negative to anyone else.

Except you say it to yourself all the time.

And that’s the problem.

So many leaders look like they have it all together on the outside, but they struggle deeply on the inside.

The challenge is negative self-talk. Way too many leaders carry on an internal dialogue of self-destruction.

There’s a major difference between words that are self-deprecating or self-destructive.

And way too many leaders live an interior life of self-destruction.

Here are five destructive things leaders say to themselves. I know, because I’ve said them to myself again and again until I learned how to stop. And some days, I have to learn this all over again.

If you struggle with these, guess what? You don’t need an enemy. You have one. It’s you.

So buckle up and see if you can relate.

1. I’m Just Not Good Enough

There’s a strange paradox to our humanity.

The self-help feel-good-about-yourself people will tell you that you ARE good enough. You’re wonderful. Perfect. Amazing. Gifted. Talented.

But deep down you know something’s wrong.

That’s because something is wrong: It’s your sin.

All of us have memories of Eden, but will live east of there now.

Self-affirmation will only get you so far, and it will often lead to what Tim Elmore describes as high arrogance (I’m amazing!) and low-self esteem (and I’m so horribly flawed…). I talk to Tim about this in depth in Episode 187 of the leadership podcast. It’s a fascinating conversation.

This is where the Gospel rushes in. Paradoxically, we all carry within us the image of God and we are sinfully flawed. Sin isn’t just an action, it’s a condition.

And Jesus comes into our brokenness and not only saves us, but deeply restores us over time. The ancients called this process of being made new sanctification.

It really is quite bad. And it really is more amazing that any of us dreamed.

The key is not to lose sight of either. Most of us lose sight of one or the other truths, and that’s how ho we get lost.

2. He Is So Much More________. She Is So Much More______.

Fill in the blank

Gifted

Talented

Smart

Attractive

Funny

Clever

Succesful

So what’s behind that?

Well, it’s likely the feeling that when God was giving out gifts, he short-changed you. Not only did God not give you six-pack abs, he didn’t give you nearly enough intelligence or brains or charm or whatever.

I feel that.

Everyone does.

But underneath that is the lie that God made a mistake. That he didn’t know what he was doing, or got distracted when he made you.

And now you’re jealous of everyone else because God did such a better job on them than he did on you.

Not only is your jealously patently absurd, it’s also deeply unfounded.

The only one who wants you to believe that you don’t have what it takes is the enemy.

Andy Stanley has the best insight I’ve heard for overcoming jealousy.

First, celebrate what God has given others. Praise them. Jealous people stink at this, but do it. Like that Instagram. Give your rival credit. Acknowledge the person you’re jealous of publicly.

And second, leverage what he gave you. As long as you’re in a place where you can only focus on what God has given others, you’ll never develop what God has given you.

7 of the Toughest Decisions I Had to Make as a Pastor

By
Chuck Lawless
-
communicating with the unchurched

If you’ve been reading my recent posts, you know I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my pastoral ministry. I spend time with students filled with questions about ministry, and that’s led me to think about these things. The past few days, I thought about some of the toughest decisions I had to make over the years. Some don’t seem so tough now, but they were at the time I had to make them.

  1. Leading the church to discipline a church member. I’d seen it done only once prior to that point, so I was a “rookie” at this painful but important task. I believe we made the right decision, but I still grieve it.
  2. Saying “no” to officiating at a church member’s wedding. I don’t need to hash out the details here, but I didn’t believe I should sanction the wedding by my serving as the officiant. I’d make the same decision today.
  3. Leaving a church I loved. I had no question that God was calling me to change my ministry location, but I wept for days during the leaving process. Frankly, I’d rather love a church so much that I grieve leaving than serve a congregation I can’t wait to leave.
  4. Asking a staff member to seek another position. It would have been easier had he done something wrong. He simply didn’t fit our team and vision, however, and we had to make a hard call.
  5. Offering to step down as pastor after I ended a marriage engagement. As a single pastor, I hurriedly and wrongly asked a young lady to marry me. My church graciously loved me through the pain and allowed me to remain as pastor, but I was prepared to step away from ministry.
  6. Calling a church to repentance over past division. The “fights” weren’t even present tense, but the fallout from conflict years earlier was. I didn’t know what I was asking for, but I knew that unforgiving churches could not reach our community.
  7. Choosing not to baptize the child of faithful church members. I had little issue with baptizing children who wanted to follow Jesus, but I didn’t sense that this little guy had even a basic understanding of the gospel. It took some time, but the parents later understood my decision.

I’m sure that many of you have had to make much tougher decisions. Without revealing any more information than necessary, what were those decisions?

This article originally appeared here.

This Is What Young Church Leaders Want to Spend Time (and Money) Doing

By
Bob Ditmer
-
communicating with the unchurched

Success stories and an entrepreneurial spirit among young pastors are fueling the hottest movement in evangelicalism—church planting.

The Young Leaders’ Advisory Council Report, released earlier this summer at the annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention, found church planting is wildly popular among young pastors.

The survey of 2,378 pastors, almost three-quarters under the age of 40, found church planting ranked high when responding to the question, which initiatives provided the “highest value…and the greatest benefit to you and your church.”

The results square with the findings of researcher Warren Bird who reported 83 percent of pastors under 40 in growing churches say that part of their vision for the future is planting a church.

Dr. Jeremy Roberts, a member of the advisory council, told ChurchLeaders that among young pastors, “entrepreneurialism has never been cooler than right now”.

Dave Ferguson, the president of the Exponential Conference, told the ChurchLeaders podcast that young pastors are mimicking what they’ve seen work in the business world because “all truth is God’s truth.” Church planting, he said, “is taken from the franchising concept in business.”

Entrepreneurs, according to Roberts, have risen to the level of sports stars among Millennials. “It is cool for Millennials to start a business. It is cool for Millennial ministers to start churches.”

The Allure of Church Planting

They also like the idea of starting with a clean slate to achieve their ministry vision.

Roberts said planting a new church avoids “inherited problems” and allows young pastors to join a network of congregations with “common philosophical or methodological approaches to ministry”.  

“Many young men would rather start something from scratch than deal with the headaches,” Roberts noted.

The allure of shared vision has taken church planters out of their traditional denominational boundaries.

The Austin Church Planting Network gathers church planters from multiple denominations such as Anglican, Bible Churches, Evangelical Covenant Church, Free Methodists and Southern Baptists, just to name a few. Planters meet at Missional Hubs all over Austin, Texas, to learn best practices and to build friendships.

It’s also hard to argue with the success.  

The North American Mission Board (NAMB) reported these success stories at the SBC gathering in Dallas this past June:

  • In Minnesota-Wisconsin, 57 percent of baptisms came from church plants.
  • In New England, 34 percent of baptisms came from church plants.
  • Churches planted since 2011 have an 84 percent survival rate.
  • 34 percent of all churches in New York and 35 percent of all churches in New England were planted since 2010.
  • 50 percent of all churches in Canada were started since 2010.

How Will J.D. Greear Lead the SBC in Light of the #ChurchToo Movement?

By
Megan Briggs
-
communicating with the unchurched

After his election win to take the role of President of the Southern Baptist Convention, all eyes have been on J.D. Greear. Greear, the pastor of The Summit church in North Carolina, will have to make weighty decisions on behalf of the largest Protestant organization in the United States over the next year. One group in particular is asking how he will respond to the growing #ChurchToo movement that has knocked on the SBC’s collective door of late.

A Meeting With Summit Church Leadership

Outside this year’s annual convention in June, a group of determined advocates gathered to draw attention to the problem of abuse being swept under the rug in the church. Ashley Easter of the #ForSuchATimeAsThis Rally says next year the group would like to be offered a seat at the SBC’s table instead of having to gather outside its doors.

This is precisely why Easter, along with Pastor Ian McPherson, traveled to Greear’s office at the Summit Church in Raleigh, North Carolina, on July 11, 2018. Hoping to speak directly to Greear, the pair were instead met by Greear’s associate pastor and right hand, Todd Unzicker. When ChurchLeaders spoke to Easter after the meeting, she did not indicate she took Unzicker’s presence as a slight from Greear. Rather, Easter felt the tone of the meeting was “favorable” and felt as if Unzicker understood the issue of abuse in the church is a problem that needs to be addressed. He also indicated collaboration between the organizers of the rally and the leadership of the SBC may be possible.

What Was on the Agenda of the Meeting?

Easter outlined three goals—the same three goals communicated at the rally in June—that she shared with Unzicker:

Goal #1 – Women to be respected and honored within the churches of the SBC.
Goal #2 – Establishment of a clergy abuse offender database for the SBC.
Goal #3 – Best practices training of all pastors and seminarians on the issues of handling domestic abuse or sexual assault disclosure or incidents.

The rest of the meeting was spent discussing how the organizers and the SBC might work together to accomplish these goals, including a timeline for seeing them accomplished. Easter had two specific asks of Greear’s staff at this initial meeting. The first was asking Greear to create an Abuse Task Force whose assignment will be to present a curriculum for churches to use in training leadership “for the eventual domestic abuse or sexual abuse disclosures that will occur.” Secondly, Easter requested a follow up meeting in a month or two, at which time she would like to present a suggested task force, project plan, and schedule and agenda for meetings.

At that follow up meeting, Easter will be suggesting some people to man the task force. She is currently in conversation with a handful of people with experience helping victims of abuse about the prospect.

How Will Greear and the SBC Respond?

While Easter sounds cautiously hopeful about the start of what could be a collaborative relationship with the SBC, she’s not sounding the victory bell just yet. She’s seen leaders agree with her during a meeting but fail to follow up on the necessary steps. For his part, Unzicker did mention the obstacles the group would face in implementing these changes in the SBC.

It remains to be seen how Greear and his staff will respond to these requests. We do know, however, that the issues of abuses of power and sexual sin that have come to light recently in the SBC have been on Greear’s mind. In May, Greear posted a video to his Facebook page expressing his belief that judgment had come to the Lord’s house—namely the SBC.

The bigger the ship, the harder it is to turn, as the saying goes. The SBC may have a particular challenge in adjusting the way they view and treat women. This change would likely become easier if they equipped more women to lead and make decisions on behalf of the denomination, as leaders such as Dwight McKissic have suggested.

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