When you’re working with children, families, and kidmin volunteers, privacy issues often arise. But it’s often inadvisable (or even illegal) to keep certain things confidential. Consider these situations that need to be addressed in a church confidentiality policy:

• A volunteer tells you they need to share something in which they’ve become involved. You suspect it could cause them to be disqualified from serving. And they ask you up front to not tell anyone else.
• You catch wind that another staff member may be involved in something that’s questionable. And the person telling you asks you to keep it a secret.
• A parent tells you that abuse may be occurring within another family in the church. And then they ask you not to say anything. They don’t want the family to get mad at them because they’ll know who told.
• A volunteer says they need to tell you something another volunteer did that was illegal. But they want you to promise not to say anything because it’s their best friend.

I’m sure you’ve faced situations like this. Someone wants to tell you something but wants you to keep it confidential…no matter what it is. What do you do? Do you promise not to say anything? When is it appropriate to keep confidence, and when is it not? That’s why a church confidentiality policy is essential, especially for children’s ministry teams.

Ken Behr, one of our executive pastors, addresses this tension with a great article. I want to share it with you.

Church Confidentiality Policy: Thoughts From Ken Behr

It’s not unusual for someone to come to me and say, “Pastor, can I share something with you in confidence?” My response usually surprises them: “Depends on what you tell me.”

Often, church leaders are unsure how to handle sensitive information within the church body. The Bible has a lot to say about coming to someone in “confidence” and disclosing a personal or moral issue. So we need to explore Scripture to build a church confidentiality policy.

God instructs Christians to “confess” to one another (Matthew 6:14; James 5:16). Questions immediately surface, however, when it comes to confidentiality that may be expected. Although people often ask us to “keep this confidential,” many times we cannot promise that.

When You Can’t Guarantee Privacy

1. Disclosures about abuse, molestation, theft, and vandalism

These typically obligate the receiver to further disclose the information to appropriate leaders. They, in turn, have an obligation as mandatory reporters to disclose the information to civil authority.

2. Moral failures, addictions, and even mental disorders

These disclosures often require that the person receiving the information take some action. While the person may request confidentiality, the sharing indicates they need help and desire a resolution.

The Sticky Issue of Gossip

The Bible tells us to avoid gossips and “busybodies” (1 Timothy 5:13). Gossip breaks up friendships (Proverbs 16:28). The Greek word for gossip often translates as a whisperer, a secret slanderer, or a detractor. However, while gossip is to be ignored, factual information that threatens the integrity of the Body of Christ is a different matter. And we can’t ignore it. The church’s spiritual health, protecting sheep from wolves, and restoring individuals take precedence over a request for secrecy.

Church leadership has a responsibility to restore a person who’s “caught” in a sin. “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” Galatians 6:1 Again, though, restoration is secondary to protecting the rest of the church.

Protection is often accomplished through appropriate church discipline. Pastors and other leaders have the responsibility for discipline. Church leaders need to deal with anything that compromises the integrity of the church or will ultimately harm other members or cause dissension. And they must do so from the biblical aspect of church discipline.

Jesus’ Approach to Confidentiality Issues

In Matthew 18:15-18, Jesus gives us a four-step approach to dealing with confidential and sensitive matters in the church. They are key for developing a church confidentiality policy.

The first step is to confront the individual alone. Steps two through four escalate the discipline, particularly for the non-repentant. “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. But if he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. Then if he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.

As believers and members of the Body of Christ, we’re all under authority. Local church authority is a great place to start when dealing with a tough issue. The first response should always be to encourage the offender to submit to the appropriate authority. If the person is hesitant, the church leader should let the person know that any consideration of confidentiality was presumptuous and cannot be honored because of the nature of the issue.

What other suggestions do you have for a church confidentiality policy?