Meet Generation…Alpha

January 28, 2019

thank you notes for children’s ministry volunteers

What do you make of Generation Alpha — a generation of young children who don’t want a puppy?

They want an iPad instead.

Welcome to Generation Alpha, “the tech-savvy young children of Millennials whose rising influence could soon make Gen Z an afterthought.” As a recent article in Advertising Age revealed, “they’re already playing an outsized role in household buying decisions, even though the oldest among them are only 9 years old.”

A bit of generational catch-up.

The three big generational groups that most are familiar with are Baby Boomers, followed by Baby Busters (Generation X), followed by Millennials (Generation Y).

The newest cohort receiving attention is Generation Z, those born between 1995 and 2010. My own book, Meet Generation Z, was designed to introduce their distinguishing marks—currently the largest of the generations—and how they can be reached for Christ.

Generation Alpha, arguably too early to name and too early to designate, are those born beginning in 2010 (the same year Apple debuted the iPad).

And while early in the generational game, there are some interesting characteristics to take note of. Here are three:

They are more comfortable swiping a tablet or speaking to a voice assistant than most of their adult relatives. Hotwire issued a report that found that 81 percent of parents in the U.S. say the habits and needs of their children influenced their last technology purchase. “This makes them a critical gateway for marketers looking to get in good with their parents.” Fitbit, Crest and Walgreens are already developing “Alpha strategies.”
They are going to be a large generation. Mark McCrindle, a social researcher in Australia who coined the phrase “Generation Alpha,” estimates that more than 2.5 million of them are born every week. He also sets 2025 as the last year Alphas will be born. By then, McCrindle estimates there will be more than 2 billion. This will slightly eclipse even Generation Z, which will reach 1.8 billion globally at that time.
They will be a well-equipped generation. “Generation Alpha will be the most formally educated generation ever,” says McCrindle, “the most technologically-supplied generation ever, and globally the wealthiest generation ever.”

Anything beyond these three broad assessments lies in the realm of prediction, such as the idea that most of them won’t start having children until at least 13 years after graduating from high school. Or that “more than one in three Alpha women will never have children.” Or that while they will live longer than earlier generations due to medical intervention, “they will experience more health problems largely related to increasingly sedentary lives.”

Um…the oldest member of Generation Alpha is nine. I don’t think they are thinking about when, or if, they are going to start having children.

But McCrindle is probably wise with his suggested name for this new generation. It’s not just about starting the alphabet over again (After “Z” where else is there to go?), but also to “signify this different generation will be raised in a new world of technological integration.”

We’re only just beginning to learn what that means for Generation Z. It will be fascinating or terrifying (or both) to watch it unfold even more organically among Alphas.

Sources

Adrianne Pasquarelli and E.J. Schultz, “Move Over Gen Z, Generation Alpha Is the One to Watch,” Advertising Age, January 22, 2019, read online.

“Generation Alpha,” Hotwire, re ad online.

This article originally appeared here.

Colorado Law to Ban Conversion Therapy, but Not From Clergy

Jessica Lea

January 28, 2019

The state of Colorado is poised to pass a law banning conversion therapy on minors, although the bill would not prevent religious organizations, such as the Catholic Church, from implementing such therapy. The summary at the beginning of the law reads,

“The bill prohibits a licensed physician specializing in psychiatry or a licensed, certified or registered mental health care provider from engaging in conversion therapy with a patient under 18 years of age.”

“Conversion therapy” is defined as “efforts to change an individual’s sexual orientation, including efforts to change behaviors or gender expressions or to eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attraction or feelings toward individuals of the same sex.”

Opposing Worldviews

Democratic State Senate Majority Leader Stephen Fenberg introduced the bill on January 24, only days after the Denver Archdiocese held a conference called, “Gender Matters: Fighting for a New Generation.” After the conference, the archdiocese put out a statement saying that the conference was intended “for adults who wanted to explore more deeply the healing power of Jesus and the church’s teachings on human sexuality” and that it “had nothing to do” with the Colorado bill.

It is true, however, that during the conference, Archbishop Samuel J. Aquila exhorted attendees to consider whether God was calling them to implement programs that promote conversion therapy. The gender conference was organized in partnership with Andrew Comiskey, founder of Desert Stream/Living Waters Ministries. Desert Stream is an organization that seeks to heal “the sexually and relationally broken through healing groups and leadership training for the local church.”

The ministry helps people in various areas of sexual brokenness, including same-sex attraction. Their belief is that as people commit their desires and lives to Christ, He will redeem their homosexual desires and replace them with heterosexual ones. As explained in this PDF on the Desert Stream website, “We are becoming who we are, testifying to the truth that the transformation of the ‘homosexual’ is a witness of how God transforms us all.”

Archbishop Aquila encouraged the conference members to consider implementing Comiskey’s programs. He believes that LGBT “ideology” is problematic because it “makes us the creator, and is a real rejection of the true creator, God. And in that, it’s a rejection of what it means to be male and female, and it is totally rooted in subjectivism and relativism.”

While he recognizes the church is within its legal rights to move forward with such practices, Fenberg said, “We hope our society someday reaches a point where these programs aren’t tolerated anywhere.”

Opponents of conversion therapy believe, as Fenberg says, that, “the practice of gay conversion therapy has no scientific basis” and leads to “long-term developmental and emotional damage.” The American Psychological Association, the American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics all oppose conversion therapy.

Currently, there are 15 states, as well as Washington D.C., that ban professionals from practicing conversion therapy on minors, although none of them regulate religious institutions.

Until last fall’s midterm elections, a bill like this one most likely would not have been able to pass in Colorado because Republicans controlled the senate. Now, with Democratic Governor Jared Polis in office and Democrats controlling both the Senate and the House of Representatives, it’s likely the bill will become law.

Asia Bibi Could Either Leave Pakistan Tomorrow or Return to Death Row

Megan Briggs

January 28, 2019

On Tuesday, January 29, 2019, Pakistan’s Supreme Court is scheduled to consider a petition against their decision to acquit Christian Asia Bibi of blasphemy charges (and a consequential death sentence). Pending the decision, Bibi could either be released on the spot or sent back to death row.

“God willing, she will have the decision in her favour tomorrow. She will be a free person to go anywhere she wants to,” said Bibi’s lawyer, Saif ul-Malook.

Malook flew back to Pakistan from the Netherlands this weekend to represent Bibi for what he hopes is the last time in court. Malook fled Pakistan after the court first announced its decision to acquit Bibi. Bibi, her family and her lawyer were under numerous threats from an angry mob that managed to shut down movement in Pakistan’s biggest cities for a few days in protest. Government officials finally made a deal with members of the extremist Muslim group Tehreek-e-Labaik Pakistan (TLP), allowing a travel ban to be placed on Bibi until her case could be reviewed in exchange for an end to the violent protests.

During this tenuous time, Bibi has been held at an undisclosed location, partly for her protection, and likely partly to appease the mob that is determined to see her killed. It is now being reported that Bibi’s children have made it safely to Canada. In November, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced he was engaged in a very “delicate” process to arrange asylum status for Bibi and her family in Canada. It appears his labor was successful. As for Bibi’s husband, some reports suggest he is in hiding with her, having also been forced into hiding by angry protestors.

According to NDTV, a panel of three judges will hear the case tomorrow. It is more than likely that all three judges have received death threats following their October 2018 ruling of Bibi’s case. However, Malook is undeterred in his conviction that Bibi will be released. According to Malook, Bibi’s opposition has “filed the petition on flimsy grounds. They haven’t attempted to counter her release on constitutional grounds.”

While most reviews are dismissed relatively quickly, Bibi’s case is a sensitive one. If she is freed, there will likely be another round of protests by those who object.

Bibi has already spent eight years on death row for charges of blasphemy. The incident occurred in 2010. The Catholic Herald explains:

Asia Bibi’s “crime” was to drink water from a supply used by Muslims. As a farm worker, she was in the fields alongside Muslim women when she took a drink of water. They objected because she was an “unclean” Christian. Beaten by an angry mob, she was rescued by police, but a few days later she was accused by a local imam, who had not been present at the incident, of insulting Muhammad. She was sentenced to death under Pakistan’s stringent blasphemy laws a year later.

Please pray the court rules in Bibi’s favor tomorrow and that she able to leave Pakistan and rejoin her family without further harm.

Missionary Could Face Genocide Charges in Brazil

Stephanie Martin

January 28, 2019

After trespassing on the territory of a remote, isolated Amazonian tribe, American missionary Steve Campbell is being investigated by Brazilian officials. Campbell claims that passing through the land of the Hi-Merimã people was the only way for him to access another tribe, the Jamamadis.

Campbell, who has ties to Maine, has lived among the Jamamadis since 1963 when his missionary parents brought him to Brazil. Now, with his wife and two daughters, Campbell ministers to that 400-member tribe and is translating the Bible into their language. He was heading to teach the Jamamadis about GPS navigation, he says, when he accidentally passed through Hi-Merimã territory.

Charges Against Steve Campbell Could Be Serious

Officials from FUNAI, Brazil’s Indigenous Affairs Department, are now investigating. “It’s a case of rights violation and exposure to risk of death to isolated indigenous population,” a statement reads. “Even if direct contact has not occurred, the probability of transmission of diseases…is high.” The Hi-Merimã tribe numbers about 1,000 people.

Bruno Pereira, FUNAI’s general coordinator, says if Campbell used his relationship with the Jamamadis to approach the isolated Hi-Merimã, “he could be charged with the crime of genocide by deliberately exposing the safety and life” of the tribe. “Their immune memory is not prepared for a simple flu or conjunctivitis,” Pereira says. He adds that “contacts by people who do not respect the self-determination of these peoples and their ways of life…(has) led to violent interference in their vital relationships with the environment, with family relationships, with what they believe.”

Campbell’s case comes three months after American missionary John Allen Chau was killed by the isolated North Sentinelese near the Indian Ocean while trying to tell them about Jesus. Authorities haven’t retrieved Chau’s body for fear of further agitating the tribe.

Brazil’s Indigenous People Are at Risk

For three decades, FUNAI has maintained a firm “no-contact” stance toward indigenous tribes, saying up to two-thirds of members have died from disease exposure. But Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil’s new far-right president, favors deforestation and promises to eliminate the nation’s 305 uncontacted tribes. “If I become president, there will be not a centimeter more of indigenous land,” said Bolsonaro, who took office January 1.

Campbell has reportedly “changed the routine” of the Jamamadi, exerting a strong influence by learning their language and trading with them. The missionary reportedly wrote to his family, asking them not to “blame the natives” if he’s killed.

Campbell’s Plight Renews Missions Debate

Campbell is one of the missionaries supported by Greene Baptist Church in Greene, Maine. Pastor Josh Burden notes that Campbell doesn’t belong to his denomination and isn’t a church employee. The church’s website states: “We believe that God has called us to support the spread of His Word, therefore we provide financial support to both local and international missions.” On the church’s Facebook page, some people are now accusing it of supporting genocide.

Chau’s death last November led to vigorous debate among Christians about what risks and rule-breaking might be acceptable to fulfill Jesus’ Great Commission. Critics call “extreme” missionary work naïve and harmful, while others say it’s sometimes necessary for spreading the Gospel.

20 Killed in Church Terrorist Attack in the Philippines

Megan Briggs

January 28, 2019

Abu Sayyaf — Police investigators examine the site after two bombs exploded outside a Roman Catholic cathedral in Jolo, the capital of Sulu province in southern Philippines, Sunday, Jan. 27, 2019. Two bombs minutes apart tore through a Roman Catholic cathedral on a southern Philippine island where Muslim militants are active, killing at least 20 people and wounding more than 80 others during a Sunday Mass, officials said. (AP Photo/Nickee Butlangan)

Twenty people are dead as a result of a terrorist attack targeting a Roman Catholic church in the Philippines. Dozens more are injured. The Islamic State of Iraq (ISIL) claimed responsibility for the two suicide bombers who entered the church premises on Sunday morning.

“The Armed Forces of the Philippines will rise to the challenge and crush these godless criminals. We will pursue to the ends of the Earth the ruthless perpetrators behind this dastardly crime until every killer is brought to justice and put behind bars,” a statement from President Duterte’s spokesperson, Salvador Panelo, promised.

At 8:30 a.m. local time, the first bomb detonated inside the church as congregants were celebrating Mass. As troops rushed in to respond, a second bomb detonated in the church’s parking area, killing five soldiers along with the 15 civilian church-goers. According to Chief Superintendent Graciano Mijares of the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao police, an additional 81 people were injured. The bombings are believed to be the result of 4kg of explosives.

Attack Likely Carried Out by Abu Sayyaf

The attack was carried out at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Mount Carmel in Jolo, Sulu which is located in the southern region of the Philippines known as Mindanao. This area, which is under martial law until the end of 2019, has been a source of contention between Islamist militants and the Filipino government. The gang Abu Sayyaf, which claims allegiance to ISIL, is known to operate out of this region, coordinating attacks and kidnapping Christians and foreigners. Officials are not certain yet who carried out the attack, despite ISIL’s claim of responsibility.

Officials have identified one suspect so far, Alias Kamah, who is a member of Abu Sayyaf. According to ABS-CBN news, a security camera placed Kamah at the church shortly before the bombs detonated. Officials say Kamah is still at large.

LOOK: Suspects in the Jolo bombing as captured by security cameras.

PNP has identified 1 of the men as Alias Kamah, brother of slain ASG leader Surakah Ingog. | via @raffsantos pic.twitter.com/mVdxCY9qFq

— ABS-CBN News (@ABSCBNNews) January 28, 2019

The attack comes just a week after voters approved the Bangasamoro Organic Law, which essentially allows the majority-Muslim areas of Mindanao greater autonomy from the rest of the Philippines, whose majority population is Catholic.

“The enemies of the state have boldly challenged the capability of the government to secure the safety of the citizenry in that region,” said Panelo.

Despite his harsh criticism of the Catholic church lately, Duterte visited the site of the bombing on Monday and attended a mass wake for the victims.

In addition to the Filipino government, other world leaders have condemned the attacks. Pope Francis expressed “the firmest reproach for this episode of violence” and Yousef Al-Othaimeen, head of the Organisation of Islamic Cooperation, expressed his “deep indignation” over the bombings.

In a statement, the Catholic Archbishop of Davao City (also located in the Mindanao region) urged all “Christian brethren to join hands with all peace-loving Muslims and Indigenous People communities in the advocacy against violent extremism.”

Your Marriage Is About So Much More Than You

Gary Thomas

January 27, 2019

A few years ago, Lisa and I took a military transport and landed in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. It felt unbearably hot, even for a couple traveling from Houston. Yet the Navy chaplain escorting us around said, “Congratulations—you wisely came here during the coolest time of the year.”

Trips like this one overwhelm me with the sacrifices our soldiers make on our behalf (if you’re one of them, thank you). Many are separated from their families for months at a time. Their restaurant options make cooking at home seem like a good option. The Internet connection brought back fond memories of 1990 (it took me 45 minutes to download a 32-minute podcast). And the “coolest time of the year” felt like walking on top of solar heating panels.

My first assignment at the base was to speak to a youth group on The Sacred Search (making a wise marital choice). Afterward, an 11-year-old boy asked to shake my hand and said, “I just want to thank you for saving my parents’ marriage. My dad said your book [Sacred Marriage] held them together, and our home has been so different ever since they read it.”

Lisa (sitting next to me) and I were at a complete loss for words. He was so young, and so earnest, and so thankful, and it reminded me of a truth every parent needs to take to heart:

Your marriage is about so much more than you.

This kid said his life had been changed because his parents’ marriage had been changed.

When you fight to stay intimate with each other, when you struggle to persevere and forgive, when you pray and work to defeat the personal demons that war against your marriage, your fidelity and your very soul, you’re not just fighting for your own happiness. You’re fighting for your kids and grandkids. You’re fighting for the church’s witness. You’re fighting for the glory of God.

People who run first marathons often run for charities, saying, “I don’t want this to be just about me.” They’re willing to endure 26 miles because it means more than mere exercise to them. In our marriages, the stakes are even higher than that. Will we endure, and not just endure, but press in to each other so that we not only stay together, but thrive together and learn to cherish each other in our passion to give the world and the church the joy and example of a sacred, intimate marriage based on a mutual love for Jesus Christ?

If you could have seen how vulnerable that 11-year-old boy seemed, how sincerely grateful he was, you would be moved as much as Lisa and I were.

For younger couples, this is an inspiring call to rethink your priorities and double-down on the primacy of your relationship to God first, your marriage second, and parenting third. One of the most important tasks of parenting is demonstrating what it means to cherish your spouse. If you give your kids a warm kiss but your spouse a cold shoulder, they’ll notice. If you speak kind words of encouragement to them in the morning but cruel words of contempt to your spouse in the evening, they won’t define their home as “loving.”

For older couples (or perhaps those on their second marriage), the empty nest years offer an opportunity to take your marriage to the next level. We can’t erase all that our kids witnessed when they were growing up. But we can demonstrate the difference Jesus makes in a marriage when we re-surrender our lives to him, orient ourselves around loving him and then loving each other, choose to make our marriage more of a priority, and pray that we can give our children and grandchildren an inspiring picture of mature love going forward.

Lisa gets this, so one of my favorite things about having our children visit is her determination to make sure our marriage is operating at its finest. In part, that means we are definitely going to have sex the night before they visit. I’ve always been willing to do my part to help make this happen. Taking one for the team, of course…

Whether your children (or grandchildren) live with you or are older and just visiting, more than they need a hot meal and clean sheets, they need to see the power of a God-centered, God-empowered mature love. We might wish we could have done better for our children in the past, but a darker past will only serve as a contrast to a brighter future, glorifying God all the more and pointing our children toward Him as the one who makes all things new.

The empty nest, by definition, is defined by loss. Let’s redefine it by filling that loss with an increasing level of love and cherishing for each other. After all, our marriages aren’t just about us. They’re about so much more than that.

This article originally appeared here.

What I Learned When My Position Was Mocked – Mike Leake

Mike Leake

January 27, 2019

It was my favorite class. At least for the first half of the semester. I loved the passion with which the professor destroyed the arguments of opponents. His words helped to deepen my faith and my convictions. And I appreciated his humor and wit. He had a special way of pointing out the ignorance of those who disagreed with us theologically.

Then I became a them instead of an us.

The class wasn’t as fun anymore. His wit wasn’t humorous, it was biting. His arguments weren’t airtight, they seemed overconfident, silly, and as if they weren’t presenting my side in the best light. He didn’t change his tactic, just his topic. And it changed my view of the professor. When I experienced the way he treated my arguments it caused me to not only question his integrity on this issue but to even cast doubt upon his other positions as well.

I learned much in that class. I agreed with the professor on about 90 percent of the material. But it was that 10 percent and the experience of being on the “other side” that shaped me more than any of the 90 percent which I agree upon. It wasn’t the content that bothered me. It was the way in which he interacted with my position. And what I felt emotionally as he did this. It created in me a few added hurdles I had to overcome to take him seriously in his other statements—even when I agreed.

This experience has caused me to always pursue understanding the other side. As best as I can I want to listen and accurately present their side. At the end of the day I may not win the argument, but I’m convinced I’ll have gone further in winning the person. It’s helpful to think about our interactions on social media—and probably more importantly face to face interactions. If someone I am witnessing to were likely to listen to my arguments and the way I’m interacting, would they be more or less likely to listen to me in the future?

When this professor pummeled straw-men he had a chorus of amens from those who already agreed with him. You can criticize President Trump to a group of Never-Trumper’s and get a chorus of amens, but if you aren’t being fair in your critique what are you doing to future conversations with those who don’t agree? And especially what will happen as you try to interact on different and more important topics like the gospel? You might have just absolutely exposed the foolishness of socialism and liberals and secular thinking, but have you now forfeited a hearing on the kingdom of Jesus? If your argument isn’t fair, gracious and Christ-like then you probably have. So what’d you win?

Here is a very simple way to apply this. Put yourself in a position where you hold a minority position. Take note of the way you feel when you are dismissed, mocked and derided. Consider how likely you are to respect and listen to the person who has unfairly represented your position. Don’t pick a fight. Don’t try to win another argument. Just listen. Listen to what is going on in your mind and heart. Feel the defensiveness rising. Feel the hurt.

And now remember that the next time you interact with someone (especially if it’s a faceless group of people) who disagrees with you. And don’t be that guy. Fairly represent your opponent. Don’t attack straw-men. Refuse red meat speeches. I don’t know, maybe treat someone else the way that you’d like to be treated. I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before.

This article originally appeared here.

Dear Worship Leaders…PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

Greg Stier

January 27, 2019

Dear Worship Leader,

I have a confession to make. It’s hard to type these words but here it goes…I’ve vastly underestimated the power and importance of what you do.

There have been times I wanted to give you the hurry up and land the plane signal from the congregation, as it seemed to me that you were relentlessly singing that same seven-11 song (seven words sung 11 times) seven weeks in a row (or was it 11?).

Too often I’m bothered by your far-too-long-in-between-songs-explanation of the song we just sang or are about to sing. I’ve nitpicked about trivial matters (your arm tattoos inked in Hebrew, your skinny jeans that I could never fit into, your distracting yet well-trimmed beard, etc.).

At times I’ve been so distracted by these trivial issues that I’ve missed the point of your worship leading…to lead us to worship our great God and King. And now I realize that the problem has been mine, not yours, all along.

To be honest, I think I’ve subconsciously viewed worship as second fiddle to the lead guitars of prayer and Bible study, both in church services and in my personal quiet times with God. I’ve often complained about worship leaders who couldn’t sing or strum their way out of a paper bag biblically and the lame or light theology prevalent in much of the most popular worship music today. These kinds of perceptions have comprised my lame excuses for not being more engaged on a worship level personally and publicly.

But, as I think about it, I think these external excuses have just been a smokescreen for my real internal issue…a bad theology of worship. For far too long, I’ve vastly underestimated the centrality of praise to a Christian’s life and a church’s services.

Why We Need More Discipleship Entrepreneurs

Andrew Mason

January 27, 2019

Dear Church Leader,

If discipleship is boring to you it will be boring to those following your leadership. While nobody would openly confess this to be the case in their own context, it is an all too common occurrence in our modern church era. This is an unfortunate outcome given Jesus’ charge in Matthew 28:19 to “go and make disciples.”

The church needs to re-imagine discipleship. We have done this in other dimensions and reaped a bumper crop of fruit as a result. Decades back, we re-imagined worship and created new music, new styles and new expressions that have ignited a global passion for seeking God across the body of Christ. As our culture has changed, we have always adapted our strategies when it comes to outreach and evangelism in order to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ to those who need it the most. We have even re-imagined weekend services in recent times with unconventional meeting times, multi-site paradigms, video-venues and online services as well.

We need to take the same type of bold thinking when it comes to building kingdom circles of spiritual formation. Not only do we need to be more flexible to experiment with new methods ourselves, we need to be inspiring and empowering God’s people to do the same.

Wikipedia shares the following description of an entrepreneur: a person who starts, organizes and manages any enterprise…usually with considerable initiative and risk.[1] Too many times discipleship programs fall into management modes of maintenance with high levels of predictability that impact that same group of people over and over again. From a secular perspective, entrepreneurs are filled with enthusiasm about creating something new that unleashes fresh opportunities for profitability. I believe the church should be hungrier for the harvest than the world is for money.

Here Are Four Attributes of a Discipleship Entrepreneur…

1. Hunger to launch new locations. A discipleship entrepreneur is always looking to the horizon for new opportunities to expand the kingdom into new territory. When Jesus sent out the 12 in Luke 9 and the 70 in Luke 10, one of the first things He commanded them to do was to find a home that would receive His kingdom message. He wasn’t just sending the apostles on a preaching circuit, He was launching new home-based discipleship communities that would sustain the spiritual renewal that was about to be released in the region.

Discipleship becomes stale in churches when there’s no hunger to launch new discipleship settings. As I mentioned already, we have tapped into this mindset with our weekend worship services and it’s time to do the same for disciple-making as well.

2. Resourcefulness and creativity. Discipleship settings need to be fellowship-friendly to foster healthy relationships. While I believe they work best in a home, we need to keep thinking outside of the box. I have seen discipleship entrepreneurs start groups in grocery stores, break rooms, military bases, government offices, libraries and more.

I recently started an early morning men’s group at a Starbucks and have been able to access new relationships that I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.

I had a close friend ask his Jewish boss if he could lead a Bible study in the staff conference room during lunch. Not only did he get approval, that group grew and multiplied and he got approval to have a second one in the same room on a different day of the week. People were getting saved, healed and transformed at their place of work.

3. Innovating through technology. Advances in web-based platforms and digital video have given more options than we’ve ever had before and yet the majority of the churches today are still approaching discipleship with old, traditional methods.

I can send video content to group members’ phones before we meet for Bible study and prayer. I can meet with them via video in front of my laptop from anywhere in the world if I want to as well. I can resource my group hosts and directors on multiple channels of communication in very affordable ways.

Remember, Jesus was the most unconventional spiritual leader the Jews had ever seen. Modern advancements present us with untapped alternatives as well. The opportunity before us is epic…

4. Infectious kingdom vision. Jesus was constantly speaking vision and pushing His disciples out of their comfort zone. He majored on the words “go,” “sent,” “arise,” “call,” “new” and “increase.” Successful entrepreneurs are similar. People are inspired to enlist themselves and join the movement. We need discipleship entrepreneurs who are intentional about attracting new leaders with a kingdom-mindset for growth and advancement.

Tommy Barnett said, “The message is sacred, not the method.” The message hasn’t changed. Jesus continues to call us to be hungry to become more like Him and embark on an adventure of transformation and mission together. The methods on how we do that, though, can be re-imagined into new wineskins for a new day.

Are you a discipleship entrepreneur?

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrepreneurship

This article originally appeared here.

What Paul Said to Young Pastors Still Applies

Joe McKeever

January 27, 2019

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (I Timothy 4:11-12).

Most of us started preaching when we were young.

We automatically made a ton of mistakes. It just goes with the territory, and no young minister should beat himself up over it.

Young preachers can be shallow, silly, arrogant, sloppy and most of all ignorant. I’ve been a young preacher and at one time or the other, was all of those.

When I began preaching, as a college student, I filled my messages with slang and preached a lot of things I’d heard and thought about (but not thought through!), but very little from the Word.

I didn’t know enough of the Word to be able to preach it.

When I began preaching, I searched the Scripture for texts that would lend themselves to my shallow, superficial type of preaching. I wanted catchy phrases, clear and picturesque sentences that would encourage me to venture out with creative ideas of my own, which I would then attempt to adapt to Scripture (!).

I didn’t know any better. I had never made an attempt to learn the Scriptures, but had heard messages from all over the place, many of them the very kind of preaching I was now attempting. To say I’d not had exemplary role models is an understatement.

My college preparation had been for the classroom, not for the pulpit. I had not been to seminary. And even after I got to seminary, I didn’t suddenly become mature and wise and smart.

I’m still working on that.

In the early days my preparation during the week consisted of trying to find a snappy text, worrying over a passage, fretting over it, trying to find two or three good points my mind would grasp and from which I might branch out with some haranguing and harassing of the congregation. It’s what I’d been shown by example to do.

I feel like going back to my first two churches and apologizing.

“Let no man despise thy youth.”

I know what that means. It takes very little imagination to conjure up images of seasoned adults entering churches where I would be preaching and leaving shaking their heads. It wasn’t that I was preaching heresy or offending people by my pulpit mannerisms or style of dress. And my language wasn’t terrible.

I just wasn’t doing much of anything. Because I didn’t know any better.

So, we can share Paul’s concern about this young pastor sent to Ephesus to shepherd the Lord’s people.

Here is how The Message rephrases Paul’s admonition to young Pastor Timothy—

Don’t let anyone put you down because you’re young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use. Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don’t be diverted. Just keep at it…

OK, this is more than our text at the top, but I like the way Eugene Peterson puts it. Young ministers need lots of reminders and many friends along the way who believe in them strongly enough to speak encouragement, truth and discipline to them.

“Let no man despise thy youth.” What exactly is ‘youth’?

John MacArthur says Timothy was in his 30s, “still young by the standards of that culture.” Both Hebrew and Greek culture placed a premium on age and experience.

It’s interesting watching the various ways churches relate to young preachers. One of my pastor friends went to the biggest church in his state when he was 31. I became pastor of the First Baptist Church of Columbus MS when I was 33. And yet, churches not running a hundred will reject a preacher in his 30s as “too young.”

Then, at the same time, we see churches rejecting prospective pastors in their 50s and 60s as too old. It’s ridiculous, of course. I’m 78 years old and my preaching is the best it’s ever been. No kidding. (Not that I’m looking to pastor a church. Just making a point.)

Dr. Mac Brunson made the news last year when he moved from the mega-FBC of Jacksonville Florida to Birmingham’s Valleydale Baptist Church. I think he was 60 years old. Good for him and good for them. I hope he stays 20 years. And I hope some churches looking for preachers take a lesson from Valleydale and quit demanding a shepherd who is 35 years old with 40 years of experience.

I know pastors who are wise and mature at 30 and some who are immature and shallow at 60. Age is irrelevant. When will God’s churches ever learn that?

“Be thou an example…”

–Be an example of believers in word. In speech. Every generation of young people seems to develop its own speech to define it and differentiate itself from the oldsters. Young pastors, do not sound like a kid. Be mature.

–Be an example of believers in conduct. Righteous living. Young pastor, show the congregation what righteous behavior looks like.

–Be an example of believers in love. Caring for others, valuing them highly. Young pastor, show the congregation what it means to love one another (John 13:34-35).

–Be an example of believers in spirit. (The oldest manuscripts omit this. Good, because I’m not sure what that means, other than a wholesome attitude.)

–Be an example of believers in faith. In faithfulness and steadfastness. Immature people can be flighty and quick to discouragement. Young pastor, show the congregation—and other young people—how to remain steady even when things aren’t going to suit them.

–Be an example of believers in purity. Purity in thought, righteousness in speech, godliness in action. Youth is a time of great adjustments, development and raging hormones. Young pastor, demonstrate settled maturity and godliness in spirit and personal life.

This article originally appeared here.

Shameless Attempts at Prayer

Ethan Renoe

January 26, 2019

Seven months ago, I did something I do not recommend to anyone.

I moved to a country where they don’t speak English and I don’t speak their language. Like, at all. Guatemala is a thoroughly Spanish country, and all my life, I took French in school. I think part of me assumed it would be like Europe, where everyone speaks English, even if they don’t. Lo and behold, a third-world country is not the same as majestic Europe, where education grows on trees.

So I’ve tried to get by. I’ve been learning slowly and surely, although I bet the locals would beg to differ. I came here knowing roughly four words, and now I know about 12, but I somehow scrape by.

When I first arrived, I lived with a host family and made several mishaps early on. I once came home from the gym, sweating and hot, and found the mom in the kitchen. She turned to welcome me home and I announced, “Estoy caliente!”

She burst out laughing.

I soon learned that caliente does not actually mean ‘hot,’ but it’s a colloquial expression for ‘horny.’

Another night as we sat around the dinner table, I attempted to ask if there was more soup. Instead, I simply told the host mother that she is soup.

I have countless smaller stories of people laughing at my stabs at Spanish, but I’ve become accustomed to it. Early on, someone gave me a piece of advice I’ve taken to heart. They said that the people who will really improve their language are the ones who shamelessly try to speak it. The more you can let go of the fear of messing up, the better it will be. Sure, you’ll mess up, but it’s better than staying silent, or worse: Trying to get them to understand English.

I had initially stayed silent out of fear, but after being told that, I began just ‘going for it.’ I would shoot off all the Spanish I knew, trying to get the four words I knew to mean everything. It didn’t become much better, but I think the Guatemalans appreciate the effort. At the very least, they get to laugh at another gringo.

I was thinking about this idea of ‘shamelessly going for it’ and realized that it applies in more than just foreign languages. It applies readily to prayer.

Maybe We Spend Too Much Time Asking How to Pray

I cannot tell you how many times, both as a youth pastor and a teacher, I’ve asked teens to pray and they instantly fall silent, shy and sheepish. I imagine their mentality is similar to mine upon arriving in Guaté: It’s better to stay silent than risk messing it up.

The problem with this mindset is, God would rather have us pray than not pray. He’d rather we take a blind stab at talking to Him than remain silent and not try at all. I think God is far more concerned with talking to His people than He is that they ‘get all the holy words right,’ as if that were a real thing.

In fact, Jesus taught the opposite many times: He condemned those who took pride in their righteous and eloquent prayers, and welcomed the lowly, humble and honest prayer.

I mean, do babies hesitate to speak before they’ve learned the language of their parents? Or do they just go for it without the social inhibitors of fear and pride? If you’ve ever been around a baby for more than five minutes, you know that they begin speaking years before they are fluent in any sort of language.

So why are we so afraid of speaking to God, whom Scripture tells us is a good Father?

The truth is, there is no special language you have to learn in order to pray well. My dad says that God cares more about the quantity of prayer and less about its quality. He cares less how you pray, and more just that you pray.

So, be like me who takes blind stabs at the Spanish language: Go before God and pray. Be honest. Be thorough. Don’t try to impress Him, as if He doesn’t know you better than you know yourself.

This article originally appeared here.

7 Surprising and Endearing Characteristics of Highly Effective Church Leaders

Carey Nieuwhof

January 25, 2019

What makes a successful leader successful?

And—here’s the next question—could you adopt any of their characteristics to help you become a more effective leader?

Sometimes it’s easy to think that some people were just ‘born’ successful or that they ‘have it’ and you don’t. For sure, some people are gifted communicators, visionaries or organizational wizards who seem to naturally know how to lead churches and organizations.

But the recipe for a leader’s effectiveness does not all lie in the gene pool.

The good news is there are common traits and characteristics that make highly successful church leaders successful.

And the really good news is that these characteristics can be learned and then adopted by leaders like you and me.

Last year I launched a leadership podcast (you can subscribe and listen for free here) and so far have had the opportunity to interview over 20 top church leaders. Not only has this been a fun journey, but early on I started to notice common characteristics among all these leaders as we did the interviews.

The common characteristics are so simple they’re surprising, and you might be tempted to dismiss them. But they’re incredibly endearing. And I think they are in part what makes each of them effective in their own realm.

And there is absolutely nothing stopping you from adopting each of the characteristics in your own leadership starting today.

Seven Surprising and Endearing Characteristics

So what do leaders like Andy Stanley, Jon Acuff, Jeff Henderson, Derwin Gray, Tony Morgan, Kara Powell, Casey Graham, Ron Edmondson and others have in common?

Of course they’re gifted speakers, writers, thinkers, strategists and more. But they also do the following seven things very, very well.

And before we jump to the list, you can get the full list of leaders here and can listen to any or all of the interviews by subscribing to my podcast (for free) on iTunes, Stitcher or TuneIn Radio.

Bible Used to Argue For and Against Guns in VA Churches

Jessica Lea

January 25, 2019

The Virginia Senate has approved a law allowing people to carry guns into their houses of worship.

“‘Blessed be the lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle.’ That was from the Old Testament,” said Republican senator Charles “Bill” Carrico. “In the New Testament… ‘When a strong man fully armed guards his own palace, his goods are in peace.’ Those places of worship where I tithe, where I give offerings, are that palace. And it’s my obligation and our right to defend it.”

So far the bill has only passed the Senate, with the vote starkly divided down party lines. Twenty-one Republicans voted in favor of it, and 19 Democrats opposed it. It should be up to each house of worship, Republicans maintained, to decide whether or not to allow guns in their services. Democrats, on the other hand, were concerned about the danger of bringing guns into a religious service.

Virginia law at present prohibits people from bringing any type of weapon into a house of worship while services are being held unless that person has “good and sufficient reason.” That wording is somewhat vague and complicates the application of the current law.

Guns and the Bible

Something interesting about the arguments either for or against the bill is that people on both sides have turned to the Bible to support their positions. Arguing against the bill, Democratic senator Lionell Spruill, Sr., said, “Psalm 46 said, ‘God is our refuge and strength.’ Now we are saying with this bill, we no longer trust in God.” Taking this step, Sen. Spruill argued, would be akin to taking prayer out of schools because it would be taking God out of church: “Let’s depend on God on this one. Let’s not take God out of church.”

Democratic senator Chap Petersen agreed, saying, “When I walk into a house of worship, it humbles me. You need to act and be your best, and that means putting down your firearm.”

Sen. Richard Black (R) disagreed that carrying guns demonstrates a lack of faith. He observed that he carried a weapon when fighting in Vietnam, and he didn’t believe that inherently stopped God from being with him. Sen. Black also pointed to different attacks that have occurred at places of worship throughout the country. One example he gave was the 2015 mass shooting at an African Methodist Episcopal church in Charleston, South Carolina. Twelve black church members were having a Bible study when white gunman Dylan Roof opened fire and killed nine people. Roof has since been sentenced to death.

Another mass shooting occurred in 2012 at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin. Six Sikh worshippers died at the hands of a white supremacist who later killed himself.

The bill has cleared the first hurdle of Virginia’s Senate and now needs to pass in the House. If the voting continues along party lines, it likely will.

However, even if that does happen, it seems likely that Governor Ralph Northam, who is a Democrat, will veto it.

Governments May Shut Down, but Churches Don’t

Stephanie Martin

January 25, 2019

The partial government shutdown, the longest in U.S. history, has taken a toll on employees and families throughout America. But while many federal services were shuttered, churches stepped up to provide needed resources.

News stories, both local and national, highlighted the vital role of faith-based organizations during the shutdown, which began December 22. About 800,000 federal employees were either furloughed or working without pay, and ripple effects spread quickly. (Editor’s note: A deal to temporarily end the shutdown has just been reached.)

Government Closed, Church Open

Whether they’re responding to natural disasters or helping community members with expenses, churches remain a reliable institution during unreliable times. In fact, some people might argue that without the body of Christ and its many “hands and feet,” government shutdowns wouldn’t be possible.

“Churches are typically impacted first and worst by government shutdowns,” says Bishop Derek Grier of Grace Church in Dumfries, Virginia. He admits being surprised to discover that at least one of every three congregants was negatively affected by the political impasse. “I lost sleep that night thinking about what could be done to help the many families in need,” he says. “Grace is more than a church; it’s a family. And family must take care of family.” The church offered $500 interest-free emergency loans, as well as special Grace Grocery food services to impacted members.

Innovative Outreach Is Occurring Nationwide

In Anchorage, Alaska, pastors Caleb and Shayna Bialik of AK Joy Church delivered 180 meal boxes to the airport, where TSA agents are working without pay. “Just because they have a job and…they’ll get all that back pay doesn’t mean they have money now,” says Shayna Bialik. “Now is when they need food. Now is when they need help with the bills.”

This week, furloughed federal workers in Washington, D.C., could receive up to 10 free gallons of gas at Shiloh Baptist Church, thanks to the gas-delivery startup Filld. “It’s embarrassing that things like gas are now hard” to afford, says Filld co-founder Scott Hempy.

In San Antonio, Texas, Community Bible Church distributed $200 worth of gift cards to each of the airport’s 376 federal workers. That totals more than $75,000—an amount congregants donated in less than three days. Each employee also received a handwritten note of thanks for their hard work. “We’re in your corner,” Pastor Ed Newton told the workers. “We want to be the wind in your sails.”

For Some Churchgoers, Tables Are Turned

Christians accustomed to making donations are now discovering what it means to receive them. “Typically I’m in a position to be a blessing to other people, so this is a role switch for me,” says Mack Calhoun of Atlanta. The member of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church recently accepted some money contributed by fellow churchgoers. “I don’t know how long this shutdown is going to last,” he says, “and I don’t want to get behind in my bills.”

Also in Atlanta, the South Fulton Ministerial Alliance is planning a “Prayer, Praise & Plates” service to uplift and assist affected workers. Groceries, gas cards and transportation vouchers will be distributed.

Churches have “always worked together to respond to emergencies,” says Joe Beasley, a deacon at Antioch Baptist Church North.

Church Revitalization: How & Where to Start

Tony Morgan

January 25, 2019

To expect different results, you need to do ministry differently.

God put a passion in my heart for helping organizations get unstuck.

Even from the early days, I’ve had a passion to help churches, specifically existing churches, to get healthy. All of my previous experience—my city manager days, included—has been working with communities and churches to help rebuild what is suffering and declining. I started The Unstuck Group because of this.

I wanted to help leaders and churches find clarity and perspective that resulted in their ability to lead more people to Jesus. We’re 10 years in, and I’m still excited about what God is doing through The Unstuck Group. And, I’m re-energized by our most recent update to the process we use.

Most churches that contact us are on the right side of the life cycle—that is they’re experiencing plateau, decline, and asking a question that I don’t like to hear—

“How do we get unstuck as quickly as possible?”

Understandably, stuck churches want to get unstuck quickly. Honestly, I would be concerned if there was little urgency and excitement to fix what’s broken. But, the results are compromised when the emphasis is on the speed rather than the quality of the approach.

To revitalize your church takes a significant investment—time, energy, resources and laser-focus.

I encourage you to start by answering these 3 key questions:

1. “Why do we exist as a church?”

2. “Where are we going?”

3. “How do we get there?”

When you sit down with your team to answer these questions, it’s vital to not just prayerfully answer them, but to do so in order.

Stuck churches jump to how to do the ministry, discipleship, weekend services, etc., instead of focusing on why we do those things.

If you’ve done the hard work of answering the first two questions, you have to answer the how.

It might sound obvious, but if you want to see change, how you do church in the future has to be different than what you’re doing today. That’s one of the most common things we see—stuck churches continue to do the same thing expecting different results.

Is your church in need of revitalization? It’s no small task. But if I had to suggest a path for getting started, I’d recommend tackling these four things:

1. Turn the Focus From Inward to Outward

One of the key factors that we find in stuck churches is that they are inwardly focused. It’s the natural pull.

13 Reasons Church Leaders Ought to Continue Their Education

Chuck Lawless

January 24, 2019

I admit my bias here. I am a seminary dean and professor, and I believe in education. Regardless of my own feelings, though, I believe church leaders should continue their education—including looking at doctoral degrees. Here’s why:

The Christian life is about growth. Always, we are to be in the process of God’s conforming us to the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29). If we reach the point of assuming we’ve “arrived” and need no further training, we are instead neglecting our Christian responsibility.

A willingness to learn is a sign of humility. An openness to become a student again, to be held accountable for assignments, and to be evaluated by others is a sign of the kind of humility all leaders should exhibit. The education process can sift out our pride.

We always face theological issues. The authority of the Word of God, especially when evaluated against sacred documents of other world faiths, continues to be an issue. The view that there is only one way to God remains under attack. Continued education can help us be better prepared to respond to these types of significant issues.

We continue to confront new ethical and moral issues. When I started in ministry over 35 years ago, I did not imagine ministering in a culture that affirms same-sex marriage. Internet pornography was not even an option. Further education equips us to minister in this changing culture.

The people we lead are frequently still learning. At least in North America, many of our congregations include professionals for whom continued education is assumed, if not required. Thus, they recognize the value that continued training offers for their spiritual leaders.

Distance learning options allow us to continue education without leaving our ministry. Gone are the days when education required students to move to campus. Today, the Internet offers unprecedented opportunities for continued training—including doctoral degrees—without evacuating significant ministries.

Learning within a group of peers is important. Many opportunities for advanced training include small group, peer-to-peer learning that focuses on particular aspects of leadership. Few educational options are as valuable as these. Peers become not only classmates, but also prayer partners.

We often learn better after leadership experience. The best students I know are those whose leadership experience gives them a grid through which to evaluate concepts and programs. These students are those who choose to continue their education throughout their ministry.

The discipline of learning is important. Let’s be honest: Even leaders sometimes get lazy. We rely solely on yesterday’s learning to face today’s issues. We talk more about what we have read than about what we are reading. Continued education, on the other hand, challenges us to return to rigor and discipline.

We’re blessed with opportunity and accessibility. I travel the world, spending time with believers who would sacrifice much for even just an hour of concentrated, relevant training. Most of us in North America have so much opportunity that it seems to me we should consider why we would not get further training.

Continued education stretches our faith. The obstacles to further training are real. Too little time. Too few dollars. Too many years out of school. Too many other responsibilities. Too much risk of failure. Here’s the bottom line, though: Sometimes we just have to trust God to help us do what He expects us to do.

Many of us are already doing the reading anyway. If you’re already a studier—someone who’s reading and learning anyway—why not look at ways to earn a degree for that same kind of work?

Churches have a responsibility to help their leaders continue growing. That’s why I believe churches ought to help cover the cost of their leaders’ continuing education. All of us need to think about equipping one another to do God’s work better.

What are your thoughts about continuing education for church leaders?

This article originally appeared here.

Too Good to Be True

Paul David Tripp

January 24, 2019

The word rolls off our tongue so easily.

Good.

“Wow, this cereal is so good!”
“We had a good time at the park.”
“Let me tell you where to get a good cup of coffee.”
“Sam is a really good husband.”

It’s become such a familiar and mundane word in our vocabulary that our mind doesn’t take the time to consider the content. So when we read that God is good, what’s meant to happen inside our soul doesn’t always happen.

“Truly God is good to Israel” – Psalm 73:1. When you read the words “God is good,” your heart should be filled with many things: wonder, amazement, gratitude and humility, to name a few.

But I am convinced that many of us live day after day with no wonderment whatsoever. We exist for weeks, maybe even months, without being amazed. We walk through life without an overwhelming sense of gratitude. We handle our situations, locations and relationships with an attitude of entitlement.

This is the opposite of the way we were created to live. We were meant to live with eyes gazing upward and outward. We were designed to live with hearts that are searching and hungry (and being satisfied in God).

Every word we speak, every action we take, every decision we make, and every desire we entertain was meant to be influenced by our awe of God’s goodness.

But because of sin, few things impress us anymore. Or, at least, the wrong things are the ones that make the biggest impression.

When sin takes your amazement away, you’ll look for ways to fill the void. And if you’re not getting your sense of wonder vertically from the Creator, you will look for it somewhere in the creation.

Has it happened to you? Are you shopping for the buzz of wonder where it simply won’t be found?

That new restaurant will blow your taste buds away, but it won’t introduce you to the soul-satisfying wonder of God. That new car will transport you in luxury for a while, but it has no capacity whatsoever to transport your soul to a place of peace. Your new job title might impress your friends and family at first, but it cannot supply you with the glory that you’re seeking.

Asaph, the Psalmist, uncovers what we’re all looking for in a single word:

“Good”

We’re looking for pure, unadulterated, imperishable, unending and unfailing good. Good that only God can provide. Good that we want and need.

Truly, God is good in every possible way. Good in:

Righteousness
Power
Grace
Faithfulness
Provision
Mercy
Holiness
Justice
Anger
Sovereignty

All his words are good. All his actions are good. When he gives, he is good. When he takes, he is good.

Nothing in creation is like him. Everything around us is flawed in some way. Even before the Fall, no glory in creation compared to the beauty of the Creator.

No, it’s not too good to be true: God is good all the time and in every way.

That should amaze you every single day!

This article originally appeared here.

11 Ways to Know You’ve Settled for a Mediocre Marriage

Josh Reich

January 24, 2019

It is so sad when I meet a couple that is unhappy. Whether it is stress, finances, kids, in-laws or sin, too many couples simply settle for a mediocre marriage. They carry around this look that says, “I’m not happy, but this is as good as it will get.”

I’m sorry, but if I’m going to be in a relationship for the rest of my life, I want it to be better than a sigh followed by, “This is as good as it will get.”

So, how do you know if you are in a mediocre marriage?

Here are 11 ways to know if you have a mediocre marriage or are on your way to one:

1. Your marriage and life revolve around your kids.

I’ve written before about how to know if your kids are more important than your marriage, but if you can answer any of these, you are in trouble.

2. It’s been over a year since you read a book on marriage.

The best way to grow in your marriage is to get around a couple who has a better marriage or read a book on it. You should read at least one book on marriage a year. It’s a great way to create conversation and push issues to the surface in your marriage.

3. Roles in marriage feel like a trap instead of freedom.

Headship and submission are tricky things and controversial. They are meant to bring us freedom, not to be a trap. When they feel like a trap, there is sin under it. Whether in how it is playing out or how our heart feels about it.

4. You can’t remember the last date night you had.

I can’t tell you how important date night is. It doesn’t have to be grand or expensive, but as a couple, you need to have at least one time a week where it is just the two of you (no phone, no TV, no computer, no kids) to talk about building into your relationship.

5. You have sex less than two times a week.

I realize this isn’t a hard and fast rule. Pregnancy, health, age, travel, deployment, etc. all can get in the way of this. That being said, sex is a great barometer of your marriage. In every situation when I talk to a couple struggling in their marriage, sex is the first thing to go. It reveals past hurts, addictions, abuses, etc. Every study also says the same thing, a healthy marriage has a healthy sex life.

6. You nit pick at your spouse.

I talked in more detail about this here, but disrespecting your spouse, making fun of them, being sarcastic is one of the fastest ways to move from a good marriage to mediocre to miserable or divorced.

7. You consistently talk about how much you love your spouse on Facebook.

I’m sure you’ll disagree, but every time I read something incredibly awesome on Facebook, my first thought is, “That’s probably the exact opposite of the truth.” I can’t tell you how many times I have counseled a couple who seemed on the verge of divorce and the next day posted on Facebook, “I love my wife.” Or, “My husband is incredible.” The charade of Facebook reveals a lot.

8. When you are alone with your spouse, you have nothing to talk about.

Whenever Katie and I go out to eat and see a couple just sitting there, our hearts break. That’s so sad. It means a couple has stopped growing. Yes silence is great sometimes and needed, but when it is a consistent pattern, that’s a mediocre marriage. You know if this is you.

9. There are things in your past your spouse does not know.

Your spouse should know everything about you. That doesn’t mean you need to tell your spouse how many sexual partners you’ve had or how much porn you saw as a teenager. That isn’t helpful. They should know about addictions, hurts, abuse against you. No one on the planet should know more about you than your spouse.

10. You fantasize about being married to someone else.

Our imaginations are powerful, our memories are powerful. Often, we will think back to high school or college and wonder where someone is or what life would have been like if we married someone else. When that happens, we disengage from our marriage.

11. A friend knows more about your marriage than your spouse does.

Are you honest with your spouse? Do you talk about what bothers you or do you sweep it under the rug? Do you know how to fight well in your marriage? Do you talk more to a friend more than you do to your spouse about your marriage or kids? If so, well you get it by now.

This article originally appeared here.

3 Resources to Help You in Ministry

Matt Morgan

January 24, 2019

As a new ministry year begins, many of us are looking for ways to be more effective in our mission. From shopping lists for kids ministry to important meetings with church leadership, we are like jugglers with a million things in the air. I’ve come to realize that Children’s Ministry leaders are some of the most productive people in the world, but I also know we can become tired and overwhelmed with all there is to do. With that in mind, I wanted to share three resources to help you in ministry.

Church Metrics

Church Metrics is a free tool from Life Church to help with tracking the important measurables in ministry. You can use this tool to track anything, but it comes preloaded with tracking of attendance, salvations, giving and volunteers. It compiles the data and gives a really helpful dashboard to see all the data you’ve inputted.

Our ministry has found this tool valuable for tracking kids’ attendance and new families across all campuses. We can generate charts and graphs to see trends in our kids’ attendance or seasons when guest attendance is higher. These charts help us to schedule our volunteers and plan our ministry to be more prepared and more effective in reaching families and kids.

Mosaico

We all know the struggle to get volunteers and parents to read our emails. Mosaico is a free responsive email template builder. In English, this means a tool for making boring text emails more stylish with graphics, buttons and customized layouts. After you create the email template, it’s easily copied as HTML code and embedded into almost any email client or church database system.

With Mosaico, you can add your ministry logo to an important parent email. You can add screenshots of lessons or photos of crafts to a volunteer email. And most important, you can design the email to highlight the most important information that catches the reader’s eye.

Evernote

Anyone who has ever been in a meeting with me knows that I’m a huge fan of Evernote. Plain and simple, Evernote is a note-taking app, but it’s really much, much more. Evernote helps to organize notes, to-do lists, projects and more by creating separate “notebooks” and allowing you to search for keywords in any note.

For example, I remember having a discussion about photo booth ideas, but I couldn’t remember when that meeting happened, who was in that meeting, or what exactly were the ideas. I just remember that we did talk about it sometime and somewhere! So, I opened Evernote, searched for notes with “photo booth” anywhere in the note, and viola! I found the note with all the ideas, a date when the meeting was held, and who else as with me in the meeting!

Evernote has a free version, but I’m so in love that I use a paid version that allows me to create a new note just by emailing myself, sharing notebooks with others, and turning my notes directly into a super clean, easy-to-use presentation. If you work with a big team, I suggest the Business Plan that allows everyone to have an account and collaborate shared notebooks.

Bonus Resources:
These are resources that I’ve used in the past or am currently attempting to use. They are worth mentioning and may be great tools for what you need!

Task Management: Trello, Asana
Social Media: Buffer, Hootsuite, IFTTT (IF-This-Then-That)
Focus/Productivity: Cold Turkey (Guaranteed to help you focus after you get over the initial shock of being locked out of Facebook!)

This article originally appeared here.

Worship Preferences: When Musical Taste Is a Precondition for Worship

Tim Gough

January 24, 2019

Worship Preferences: When Musical Taste Is A Precondition for Worship

The time of musical worship can be a nightmare to crack! With so many worship preferences, tastes and values in the room it’s amazing that we ever get through it without broken teeth, flying drumsticks or choral tantrums.

Part of the issue is we’re just so darn picky!

I, for instance, am really cynical about ’90s-’00s contemporary worship music. I find it simplistic, boring, messy, boring, poorly written, boring, rubbish to play, boring and theologically…quirky. Is this a fair assessment of all worship music from that era? Probably not. Does it summarize all of that era’s worship? Definitely not! Does it tell me something about my heart? Very yes!

And here’s our problem. The straight line we draw from ‘does this please me’ to ‘does it please God’ is logically absurd!

Our worship should reach in three directions:

Upward. We’re to love and honor God.
Outward. We’re to serve and uplift each other.
Inward. We’re to encourage our silly hearts and tired minds to respond.

Then problem is we tend to add a fourth step, which is, ‘we’re to like the music.’ This totally reverses the process, which ends up looking a little like this:

Double Inward: Am I properly entertained by, and comfortable with, the music provided?
Inward: Do I feel like I can now respond to God?
Outward: Do I feel like I can encourage others to get stuck in?
Upward: Do I feel like God likes what I’m doing?

The problem here is that every stage is now governed by ‘do I feel…?’ which makes worship self-serving rather than God-serving. This is a huge problem when you consider that worship in the Bible always included sacrifice and making ourselves lower.

It’s not entirely this straight forward, but you can see the problem. If our ability to worship is governed by our acceptance of the music provided, then everything stops working.

Put another way: If worship must first reach our conditions, then we won’t be worshipping when they do.

If the music fits us so perfectly that we ‘switch on’ our worship mode, then it’s likely that it isn’t worship that we’re doing. It’s not that you can’t worship to your music preference (of course you can), the problem is making your worship and adoration of God conditional on your music preference. Our love for God shouldn’t be conditional upon anything but His love for us.

How many times have you heard (or thought!) something like:

I can’t worship to an organ.
The music is too loud to worship.
I can’t focus on God because the singer was off-key.
God can’t get through to me though a guitar solo.

etc.

For me—I always lose it if a drummer goes out of time!

Now some of this is simple human distraction—worked on with time and patience. However, these things can be heart issues. It’s a heart issue when we won’t try to worship if our preferences aren’t met.

This article originally appeared here.

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1. “Why do we exist as a church?”

2. “Where are we going?”

3. “How do we get there?”

1. Turn the Focus From Inward to Outward

Here are 11 ways to know if you have a mediocre marriage or are on your way to one:

1. Your marriage and life revolve around your kids.

2. It’s been over a year since you read a book on marriage.

3. Roles in marriage feel like a trap instead of freedom.

4. You can’t remember the last date night you had.

5. You have sex less than two times a week.

6. You nit pick at your spouse.

7. You consistently talk about how much you love your spouse on Facebook.

8. When you are alone with your spouse, you have nothing to talk about.

9. There are things in your past your spouse does not know.

10. You fantasize about being married to someone else.

11. A friend knows more about your marriage than your spouse does.

Worship Preferences: When Musical Taste Is A Precondition for Worship

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