In Their Own Words: Christian Teens on School Shootings

March 22, 2018

A month after the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, several members of a high school youth group from First Baptist Church in Duluth, Georgia, sat down with reporter Maina Mwaura.

We wanted to know what your average teen in youth group thought about the shooting and how they were handling it. The conversation both surprised and saddened us. At times lighthearted and encouraging, and other times heavy, the students waded through their reaction to the shooting, the fall out they witnessed on social media, and how they and their friends are responding to school walkouts and protests.

Maina Mwaura: “When you first heard about Parkland High School and what took place there, what did you think of?”

Andres: “I was devastated…It was really upsetting to hear that…I thought there was something to do about it but when you think about it there isn’t a lot that you can do about it. Having a gun, it’s the Second Amendment, the right to bear arms. If we were to take away guns, it’s basically impossible because one, you have the people who legally have guns, don’t do anything—they have it, it’s set, they’re right in their own way but they don’t want their guns taken away because maybe they do have that one point in their lives when they need it. And then also there’s the illegal guns, which people don’t know about and people don’t know that people have illegal guns and how are you going to be able to take those away; are you going to raid everybody’s house and make sure they don’t have guns? It’s a long process but not only that, it costs a lot of money for the government to be able to raid people’s houses or whatever you’re going to do and to look for guns. There’s big problems with what’s going on today in society and I think, I don’t know what to do, but it’s definitely really upsetting to hear about a freedom that we have that’s gone wrong.”

Maina: “Let’s go back to February 14th, which was a month ago today. Where were you at and what did you think about when you heard what was going on?”

Rylee: “When it first happened I happened to have on my phone, I have the news app on and it’s Fox News and I was actually sitting in my language arts class and when the notification popped up that a shooting had happened in Florida, and when I looked at my phone I was like, Oh my gosh! First of all it’s Valentine’s Day, second of all it also happened to be Ash Wednesday and I was just, I was absolutely in shock. At the time I didn’t know much about what had happened but I just didn’t know what to do and in that moment I didn’t feel safe where I was sitting. This whole thing about, oh gosh, this is real, this could happen to me, just kind of set over me. And for the next couple of days I just didn’t feel safe stepping into the school building at all.”

Maina: “What are your friends thinking about? When it comes to this issue of school gun violence, especially the day of, not feeling safe, what were your friends thinking?”

Rylee: “My friends at school are kind of all over the border and some of them were ‘on my side’ and they were like ‘oh my goodness, this actually happened and this was a thing.’ And some of them were more focused on lives were actually lost but I still feel safe at school because this could never happen to me. So that was just kind of across the board. We all were sort of paranoid, some more than others, but we were all pretty much devastated.”

Maina: “Did you guys notice a sense of change the next day, let’s go to February 15th, did you notice a change in the air at school? Yeah? What did that feel like?”

Tyler: “I think that it was, I don’t know how to describe it, it was just a sense of like tenseness and we didn’t know what to do. It’s like, that just happened and 17 lives were just lost and at my school, Duluth is an open campus so we’re walking pretty much in the streets half the day transitioning to classes, in and out of buildings, so I feel like a lot of people at my school specifically were very frustrated, we didn’t know what to do like we’re on an open campus, somebody could walk onto our campus a lot easier in our school than on a lot of others. And so I guess, I don’t know, in the air there was just a tenseness, we were all paranoid, like that happened. Florida is not super close but Florida is closer to home than California is and seeing it happen and seeing it that traumatic and that medialized, is that a word? I don’t know. Just seeing it all over social media, seeing it just plastered everywhere just put everyone into a shocked sense and they really didn’t know what to do, how to work with it, how to figure it out, how to deal with what was going on.”

5 Best Practices of Thriving Small Group Ministries

Mark Howell

March 21, 2018

Definition: “A procedure that has been shown by research and experience to produce optimal results and that is established or proposed as a standard suitable for widespread adoption.” Webster

You can learn a lot by studying the best practices of thriving small group ministries. You can improve your results by adopting the best practices of thriving small group ministries. Occasionally, you can improve your results by adapting the best practices of thriving small group ministries to fit your context. I say occasionally because adapting most commonly strips away the design elements that produce the results you hope to attain.

Note: In the spirit of “there’s an upside and a downside to everything,” you will never produce break-the-mold innovation by emulating perfectly a best practice. See also, The Problem with Best Practices

5 of the best practices of thriving small group ministries:

The senior pastor is the champion.

You shouldn’t be surprised to learn this. It is just the way it is. There is a reason the two most thriving small group ministries are Saddleback and North Point. Rick Warren and Andy Stanley figured out a long time ago that people do what the most influential person in the organization promotes.

Another important element of this best practice? The average attenders of Saddleback and North Point couldn’t pick Steve Gladen and Bill Willits out of a line-up, because they lead their small group ministries from behind the scenes. Small group leaders and coaches know them. But the public face of the small group ministry is the senior pastor.

Think about it: Is your senior pastor the champion? Or does someone else play that role?

Thriving small group ministries are promoted year-round

Do you have an annual small group push? Maybe at the end of September? Or in early January? You need to know that thriving small group ministries are year-round endeavors. They are promoted 52 weeks a year. There may be times of greater emphasis, but highlighting group engagement is never out of season.

Thriving small group ministries are always looking ahead to the next opportunity to connect to a group. They are also highlighted year-round in the language of message illustrations and stories of life-change.

Churches with thriving small group ministries rarely miss the opportunity to reference the prominent role of small groups in their strategy. Don’t believe me? Try listening for the drumbeat in a North Point or Saddleback weekend service.

Think about it: Does your church promote small groups year-round? Or is there a groups campaign every year?

Churches with thriving small group ministries clarify what is most important

They may have more on their menu than small groups, but there is no mystery or confusion about what is most important. If you have any doubt, a quick look at the websites of churches with thriving small group ministries will confirm this. A look at their weekend service program and verbiage from the stage will provide conclusive evidence.

Emphasizing the importance and priority of small groups forces de-emphasis of anything and everything else (that might cause confusion about first steps or next steps).

“Should I do this? Or this?” is an uncommon question in churches with thriving small group ministries.

Think about it: How clear is the importance and priority of small groups in your church?

Thriving small group ministries are budget priorities

Want to build a thriving small group ministry? Take a look at your church’s general budget. Can you tell from the budget that small group ministry is important?

The budgets of churches with thriving small group ministries are powerful indicators. And it is very important to note that their small group ministry budget explains their results (as opposed to their results being rewarded with budget increases).

Think about it: Does your staffing structure (which is a function of the budget) indicate that small group ministry is important? Or does your staffing structure indicate something else is really more important?

Does your website indicate small group ministry is important? Is it easy to find out about the next connecting opportunity or learn about small group involvement?

Does your on-campus promotion (signage, kiosk, welcome center, first step experience, etc.) indicate small group ministry is important? Is it clear to unconnected attenders?

Does your facility reservation and availability indicate small group ministry is important?

Thriving small group ministries deliver a robust experience

Getting connected and doing life together may be the beginning, but it is not the destination. Making better disciples, life-change, becoming like Jesus, doing what Jesus would do, is the end in mind.

Thriving small group ministries deliver a robust experience. Far beyond closing the back door, small groups are designed to help group members become steadily more like Jesus, experiencing (and practicing) the one-anothers as a way of life.

Think about it: Do examples of groups that “get it” stand out? Are they commonplace (happening all the time)? Or extraordinary (the rare, out-of-the-ordinary group)?

This article originally appeared here.

4 Common Leadership Traits in Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk

Eric Geiger

March 21, 2018

Just as Steve Jobs was synonymous with Apple and Jeff Bezos is synonymous with Amazon, Elon Musk has become synonymous with space travel and electric cars with his companies SpaceX and Tesla. I just finished reading Elon Musk by Ashlee Vance, and although Musk did not approve of the writing beforehand and has refuted some of the content, Musk did grant the biographer access to his top leaders, and the two spent time together monthly. Elon Musk was one of the founders of PayPal, and after realizing a massive payday when the company was sold to eBay, he started SpaceX and cofounded Tesla. Reading about Musk felt similar to reading about Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos in biographies written about them (Steve Jobs’ biography by Walter Isaacson and Jeff Bezos’ biography by Brad Stone). I have read all three and here are four common traits their biographies portray about these leaders.

1. Driven by a grand idea

Great leaders are driven by a grand conviction over a long period of time. Great leaders don’t shift their convictions continually. Steve Jobs was driven by his conviction for great and beautifully designed products, and this idea drove him until his death. According to his biography, even on his deathbed, he was consumed with design. He rejected the first oxygen mask they gave him and insisted on seeing multiple designs before settling on which one he would use. Creating an everything store, a store that gets you anything you want from A to Z, has driven Bezos. He has been relentless in this grand idea (for fun, type in relentless.com). Elon Musk deeply believes technology should be used to solve big problems and better humanity.

2. Perseverance through lots of adversity

Great leaders are able to weather challenging days because of their fierce commitment to their convictions. Jobs, Bezos and Musk have persevered through incredible amounts of adversity. Their convictions proved greater than the challenges they faced. Jobs was ousted by the company he started. Bezos has famously said that he has lost Amazon billions of dollars in projects that failed. And Musk nearly sold Tesla to Google when money was scarce.

3. Incredibly high expectations

Because of their deeply held convictions, great leaders also have high expectations of themselves and those on their teams. The biographies of Jobs, Bezos and Musk reveal expectations so high that some thought they were unreasonably so.

4. Often difficult to work for

Their high expectations often resulted in people struggling to work for these leaders. There are stories of Jobs’ verbal attacks on people who did not meet his expectations. The Bezos biography reveals that some who worked for Bezos required counseling and suffered from post traumatic stress disorder. According to the Musk biography, when someone declares to Musk that the project timeline is unreasonable, he will remove the person from the project and declare himself to be the CEO of the project.

It is true that people with high expectations can be difficult to work for at times. But for the Christian leader, we must not aspire to be such a leader. When projects are prioritized before people, disrespecting and hurting people is inevitable. But for the Christian leader, we must remember that people are our mission. People are not merely tools to help us accomplish our mission. We must be driven by our convictions and persevere through adversity. We should also hold to high expectations, but how we treat people should reflect the kingdom we belong to and the King we serve.

This article originally appeared here.

How to Plan a Group Mission Trip

Jenny Funderburke Smith

March 21, 2018

One of the highlights of my year is our church’s annual family mission trip to Belize. If I’m counting correctly, 2018 will be the seventh group mission trip I’ve led. I’ve learned a lot of what to do and what not to do along the way. In fact, each trip brings unique learning experiences. I also remember the first year we planned and feeling totally lost in how to get started. If that is you, hopefully our plan can help you.

One year – 18 months out from your group mission trip

Begin making your plan. Where are you going and with what group/organization are you partnering? You don’t need to know micro-details yet, but it is time to start gathering an idea of the who, what, when, where and cost. I always recommend partnering with someone who is on the ground and who knows what to do with a group when you get there. If possible, take a pre-trip to scope out the travel experience, the area where you will be, and get to know the people you will work with if you don’t already.
Determine the estimated cost. There are usually two parts to this: travel and land costs. The organization you partner with may help with some of these things. They should give you an estimate of their land costs you will have to pay them and if lodging is a part of that. Make sure you have a good idea of what is and is not covered in your cost (food, in-country taxes or costs, lodging, etc…). You want to present people with as accurate an estimate as possible, and I generally try to overestimate. It is always a blessing to find out you don’t have to pay as much.
Determine your fundraising policy/strategy. Each church has different processes and philosophies for fundraising. Make sure that you understand your church’s. For trips that I have done, I encourage people to write letters to people they love and support them. There are always people willing to support. In my experience, this is much more fruitful (and meaningful) than garage sales and car washes.

Nine months – one year out from your group mission trip

Promote your trip. Whatever means are available in your church, use them to target the population that would be best suited for the trip.
Have an interest meeting. The purpose of the meeting is for you to share the vision of the trip as well as the pertinent details that people need this far out (specifically dates and cost). Communicate the fundraising strategy. You don’t want anyone committing with an expectation regarding funds that doesn’t match what you are able to do. Make sure that you collect contact info from all of those who attend.
Follow up. Email the people who attended your meeting and ask for them to respond and let you know their level of interest. Are they ready to commit to go, are they interested but unsure, or have they decided this trip won’t work for them?

Six months – nine months out from your group mission trip

Book group plane tickets. This only works if you have 10 people or more, but I found it the very best way to book flights early enough to get a low fare but before everyone is really ready to commit. The major airlines all have group booking options and all of their policies differ. I will outline how these bookings generally are handled, but please refer to the airline’s actual policy. Group plane tickets generally work like this:
- You can book a block of tickets for a specific flight at a specific rate. (Sidebar: I have found Southwest is the best at trying to get you the lowest rate.) To book these tickets you have to pay a deposit. This deposit is usually refundable up to 90 days before the flight so you can guesstimate how many you think are going. You do not yet need to know passenger names, just a number.
Reserve your lodging. Utilize your connection on the ground to help you with this part. We have been blessed that this has totally been handled by our ministry partner, so I can not discuss in detail this process. Do your research to make sure that a location works financially,

Three months – six months out from our group mission trip

Collect a deposit. Let those who are interested and committed to go know that you must collect a deposit for the trip by a designated time. The amount and the date will be determined by your process with the airline (see previous section). The deposit should cover the airline. I have learned to make this deposit non-negotiable. We can work with people raising funds, but if you lose the deposit to the airline because they back out, at least you don’t lose that money because you have their deposit.

This article originally appeared here.

Fear Is Gripping More People in the Church

Adam Hamilton

March 21, 2018

Molly Ball, writing in The Atlantic, noted that, “Fear is in the air, and fear is surging. Americans are more afraid today than they have been in a long time.” Ball was right, and it is true even among people in the church.

In a recent survey of 2,400 churchgoers, we found that 80 percent indicated that they lived with moderate to significant levels of fear (compared to 20 percent for whom fear was only an occasional experience in their lives).

Some of our fears are raised by events happening in our world. What school-age parent doesn’t feel concerned when watching events like the recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida? And every act of terrorism committed by ISIS and its sympathizers raises the specter of another 9/11. Depending upon one’s political affiliation, the current administration in Washington is either raising fears, or quelling them, leading to increasing uncertainty and polarization.

Twenty-four-hour news, Twitter feeds and a steady stream of news alerts on our phones and smart watches mean that we hear about the unnerving and tragic multiple times every hour. And, as has often been the case in news, “if it bleeds, it leads.” No wonder we’re feeling a heightened sense of anxiety today.

But many of our deepest fears have little to do with the evening news. Our survey showed that the fear of failure ranked highest among those under 35. For some, the fear of failure is paralyzing. Second on the list for young adults was the fear of disappointing others or the fear of rejection, closely followed by the fear of leading meaningless lives.

Many baby boomers and older adults face financial fears (and not having enough for retirement), health concerns and losing people they loved to death, though the top fear for these groups was a fear related to the future of our country.

Some fear is good. Our brain is hard-wired with a “fight of flight” mechanism intended to save us—it is a gift. Fear can be a great motivator, leading us to take action. But often our fears are exaggerated. Sometimes our fears are completely unfounded (some call these False Events Appearing Real). Some of the things we fear we have little or no control over.

It is clear when we turn to Scripture that human beings have always wrestled with fear. Over 400 times fear, terror and being afraid are mentioned in scripture. This is also why among the most frequent commands of scripture are the words “Do not be afraid.”

I love the Bible’s commands to not be afraid, but they beg the question, How? How do we set aside our fear? How can we live unafraid? That was the aim of the research we conducted, first for a sermon series on fear that I was preaching in 2017, and then for a book that would delve into the most common fears we wrestle with and how to overcome them. What we found was that while we’ll never completely eradicate fear from our lives—some fear is important in protecting and motivating us—there are things we can do that can help us in living with courage and hope despite our fears.

Among these are four broad categories that have been found consistently to help people overcome their fears. I’ve described them with another acronym for fear,

Face your fears with faith

Examine your assumptions in the light of the facts

Address your anxieties with action

Release your cares to God.

Facing our fears with faith is maintaining a “bias of hope.” It is retraining our thinking to move away from “catastrophizing” and assuming the worst, and to use the same mental energy to assume the best. Examining our assumptions in the light of the facts is often referred to in therapeutic circles as “cognitive restructuring.” The impact of actually discovering the facts, rather than living with our assumptions, can have a significant impact on our fears. Addressing our anxieties with action includes actually leaning into our fears, which often leads to their “extinction.” It includes a host of other things we can do to address our specific fears. (Remember, fear is meant to motivate us to action, though unfortunately for many it leads us to inaction or paralysis.) Finally, releasing our cares to God involves certain spiritual disciplines including prayer, mindfulness, scripture reading and others that can give us a “peace that passes all understanding.”

In Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope in Uncertain Times, I explore the variety of fears we most often wrestle with today and unpack the kinds of specific things we can do to overcome our fears.

This article originally appeared here.

What the Church Needs to Learn From Jules Woodson

Megan Briggs

March 21, 2018

About two months after Highpoint Church in Memphis, Tennessee, devoted a Sunday service to addressing allegations that their teaching pastor, Andy Savage, sexually assaulted a teenager 20 years ago, the victim of the assault, Jules Woodson, sat down to watch the service in a New York Times interview.

Woodson’s interview teaches all of us in church leadership how not to handle allegations of assault—whether the assault occurred recently or in the past.

As of March 20, 2018, Savage has resigned from his position at Highpoint and released a statement that shows signs of a change of heart. Highpoint has also released a statement to its members stating its remorse over its “defensive rather than empathetic” response to Woodson’s communication “concerning the abuse she experienced.” The church states it is committed to developing “a deeper understanding of an appropriate, more compassionate response to victims of abuse.”

Perhaps the first step in developing that more appropriate response is to examine how the church went wrong in those first few months of 2018, after Woodson reached out to Savage reminding him of the abuse she experienced at his hand.

Lesson 1: Language Is Really Important

The video of the January 7, 2018 Highpoint service was deleted from Highpoint’s YouTube account, however, the New York Times made a copy of it before it was deleted. The service started with worship as usual, and then lead pastor Chris Conlee took the stage and began speaking about the allegations. He apologized to visitors for bringing them into a discussion of a “difficult subject.”

Perhaps one of the few things Highpoint did correctly in the service was treat the situation with the gravity it necessitated. Conlee’s and Savage’s demeanors were heavy. Savage spoke slowly and deliberately, reading from a prepared statement on his phone.

Savage then explained what he referred to a “sexual incident” between him and Woodson that occurred “over 20 years ago” (a phrase repeated quite often throughout the service). After the language used to refer to Woodson’s allegations in the January 7 service, the fact that the church used the word “abuse” in its statement following Savage’s resignation in March is a step in the right direction. This was not a sexual incident; it was sexual abuse.

Lesson 2: Seek Forgiveness From God AND Also the Victim

In the January 7 service, Savage mentioned he “sought forgiveness from her [Woodson], her parents, her discipleship group, the church staff and the church leadership.” Woodson, however, remembers it differently.

In the interview, Woodson recalls the so-called apology that she received from Savage. “The only apology, if you can call it that, was when he ran out of the truck screaming, ‘Oh my God, oh my God, what have I done? You have to take this to the grave with you.’”

During his speech on January 7, Savage addressed Woodson, saying, “Jules, I am deeply sorry for my actions 20 years ago.” It was an apology made in a public setting, but according to Woodson’s account published on the Wartberg Watch, she reached out to Savage via email on December 1, 2017, asking him if he remembered assaulting her. He did not respond to the email and offered no apology in a personal capacity. After Savage is done speaking in the January 7 service, Conlee asks the congregation to extend a hand and offer a prayer for Woodson.

This must have rubbed salt into Woodson’s wounds. To not offer an apology personally, but rather do it from the safety of your supporters comes across as cowardly and insincere.

Lesson 3: Don’t Underestimate the Influence Church Leadership Has Over People

Good or bad, people not only look up to, but also seek to emulate, people in leadership positions in the church. Woodson starts out her interview by explaining, “As a kid growing up in the church, I really looked up to the church leaders.”

So when Savage asked her as the youth pastor of the youth group she attended, to perform oral sex on him, she thought “this must mean he loves me.”

Highpoint received a lot of backlash from the way they handled Woodson’s allegations in their January 7 service. For good or bad, people often expect the church to deal with things appropriately, responsibly and compassionately at all times. Highpoint has indicated it did not respond the right way and is seeking to do better in the future. That’s definitely a step in the right direction.

Lesson 4: There Are Some Things Churches Cannot Handle Internally

Sexual assault allegations are one of the things that churches cannot handle internally. Church leaders must immediately report them to the proper authorities.

“What happened was a crime. This is not something that the church should handle internally,” Woodson says after 20 years of reflection. A sentiment now shared by Larry Cotton, the lead pastor in Texas that Woodson turned to after the initial incident with Savage. Cotton stepped down from his current leadership position at The Austin Stone Community Church in February 2018. Cotton told reporters, “I understand that I failed to report the sexual abuse—I wish I had reported to the proper authorities.”

Andy Savage Resigning After ‘gain in perspective’ Over Abuse

Bob Ditmer

March 21, 2018

Andy Savage, accused of sexually assaulting a teenage girl in Texas 20 years ago, has resigned as Teaching Pastor at Highpoint Church in Memphis, Tennessee.

The megachurch announced the resignation on its website Tuesday.

“Throughout the last two and a half months, I’ve had the opportunity to spend much time in prayer and God’s Word, as well as to reflect on the thoughts shared by so many who responded to the post by Jules Woodson and to my statement on January 7th. Your passionate opinions on this important matter have truly helped me to gain perspective that I simply could not have achieved on my own. I have come to understand Jules’ vantage point better, and to appreciate the courage it took for her to speak up.

“When Jules cried out for justice, I carelessly turned the topic to my own story of moral change, as if getting my own life in order should help to make up for what she went through and continues to go through. Morality is meant to guard against injustices, not to minimize them, to compensate for them, or to obscure them. I agree with Jules that, of all places, we as the Church should be getting this right.

“As I’ve reflected during my leave of absence, I have come to see that many wrongs occurred in 1998. The first was my inappropriate relationship with Jules, which was not only immoral, but meets the definition of abuse of power since I was her youth pastor; therefore, when our relationship became physical, there could be no claim of mutual consent. Another wrong was the failure to follow due process afterward; Jules deserved, and did not get, a full investigation and proper response 20 years ago.

“Admittedly, at 22 and in my first job, I truly believed that I was being guided through proper steps for restitution, which included resigning my position and moving from Houston to Memphis. Those steps seemed significant at the time, and I trusted in the process assigned to me. Only through my recent time of reflection have I realized that more should have been done.

“Of course, this does little to relieve the suffering Jules experienced because of my mistakes and the neglect of due process that followed. I sincerely want to get this right. I want the Church to get this right. I want Jules, finally, to see it gotten right.

“That is why, after much prayer and counsel, I now believe it’s appropriate for me to resign from my staff position at Highpoint Church and step away from ministry in order to do everything I can to right the wrongs of the past. Apologies are important, but more is required. I know that stepping down once, or even a second time, still doesn’t make things right for Jules. But addressing my own acts of abuse this way acknowledges the importance of confronting abuse in our culture and in the Church at large. In addition, I will continue striving to grow through this experience going forward as I seek God’s will.

“To my Highpoint family, I am grateful for all the ways you’ve loved me, my wife and our boys. I would never have been able to come to this place of understanding and conviction without your love and loyal support throughout this process. I will always treasure the opportunities we’ve had to serve the Lord together.”

Savage’s resignation follows a lengthy investigation by Scott Fredricks, a Fort Worth, Texas, attorney whose specialties include assisting churches with child abuse investigations.

Highpoint Church followed the letter of resignation with an email to its congregants: “While the investigation found no other instances of abuse in Andy’s ministry, the leadership team at Highpoint Church agrees that Andy’s resignation is appropriate, given the reasons stated in his resignation statement.”

Jules Woodson, the woman who accused Savage of abuse, sent a statement to Local 24 TV in Memphis regarding the resignation.

“While yesterday’s announcement is a step in the right direction, the conversation must not end here. Instead, this needs to be a wakeup call for everyone. There is a systemic problem within the institution of the church that props people up in places of power and gives them immunity based on cheap grace and a call for forgiveness. This has bred a culture ripe for abuse and cover-up. Repentance, accountability and justice should not be contrived.

“Unfortunately, my story is not unique. My hope in speaking out is that this opens up the conversation and empowers others. We, as Christians, should be leading the way in recognizing, preventing and handling abuse.

“Genuine repentance is not demonstrated by one decision but by many decisions that, over a period of time and born out of humility, transform the culture of the church. As Jesus demonstrated, the church should be the safest and most affirming community for the vulnerable and the wounded. This announcement is one step forward and I am hopeful there are many more steps to follow.”

In its email to members the church admitted it handled the incident poorly when news of the past abuse broke in January.

“Highpoint leadership has come to recognize that it was defensive rather than empathetic in its initial reaction to Ms. Jules Woodson’s communication concerning the abuse she experienced, and humbly commits to develop a deeper understanding of an appropriate, more compassionate response to victims of abuse.”

Highpoint also retained MinistrySafe to review the church’s child protection practices. MinistrySafe said its work would not begin until the Savage investigation concluded.

Ed Stetzer: How You Can Be a Better Leader

Jason Daye

March 21, 2018

Ed Stetzer is a church planter and revitalizer, pastor, trainer, and author of dozens of articles and books. He teaches, speaks, and writes on theology, missiology, church planting, church revitalization, and church innovation.

Key Questions for Ed Stetzer:

– How do you decide when to say “no” to a request?
– Why is the idea of self-leadership so important?
– How do you handle resistance to change?

[SUBSCRIBE] For more ChurchLeaders podcasts click here!

Key Quotes from Ed Stetzer:

“I only do what is uniquely connected to me, like my family.”

‘I don’t see my inbox as my todo list because if your inbox is your todo list that’s just a list of other people telling you what you should do”

“Good leadership is just saying no to the wrong things and saying yes to the right things.”

“What we have to spend more time on as leaders is not what’s urgent but important; developing other leaders and your own leadership style.”

“To work change without creating a sense of urgency at the beginning, in a church, you’re nuts!”

“You can be a pastor for a long time and not have any experience…it’s just one experience done over and over again.”

“Self-management is sharpening the axe so you make better decisions in a better way.”

“Some of the best leaders I know are not leaders in a loud way but strong in a godly, we’re going to lead and take these steps together.’

“A lot of pastors try to lead churches through revitalization. Their first play is change not urgency. So they’ve not led the people to care enough to make a change.”

“A lot of people are attracted to church planting so they don’t have to walk through the change process. You know what you’re saying is you don’t want to lead change you just want to lead new. Can I just tell you, if you plant a church, three years from now you’re going to be leading change.”

“If you don’t have ten percent of your church mad at you at any given time you’re probably not doing anything of substance.”

“Stop seeing resistance as people who are enemies.”

Links Mentioned by Ed Stetzer in the Show:

Strategic Leadership for Ministry and Mission

Comeback Churches

Ed Stetzer on ChurchLeaders:

Ed Stetzer: “Why Burkinis Should Matter To Christians Who Care About Religious Freedom”

Ed Stetzer’s Tweet Just Put the Gorilla Story in Serious Perspective

5 Steps for Handling Conflict

Rick Warren

March 20, 2018

In Nehemiah 5, the Israelites faced conflict for one of the same reasons we do today: selfishness. So, what can we learn from Nehemiah about handling conflict?

1. Take the problem seriously. (v. 6)

Nehemiah didn’t ignore the problem; he took it seriously. When the unity of your church gets challenged, it’s your job to protect that unity. It’s serious business.

In times like this, a certain level of anger is completely appropriate and right. Leadership means knowing the difference between the right kind of anger and the wrong kind of anger.

2. Think before you speak. (v. 7)

If you only do step one and ignore step two, you’ll get in lots of trouble. Nehemiah 5:7 says, “I pondered them in my mind” (NIV). Nehemiah stopped, got alone with God, and thought about what he was going to do. He asked God, “What do you want me to do?”

You should get angry when disunity threatens your church, but you have to think before you act. You can’t just act on that anger. James 1:19-20 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (NIV).

I’ve seen a lot of leaders who were highly effective for the Lord blow their ministry in an impulsive moment. Don’t let that happen to you. Get angry, but then take some time to think and pray about what to do next.

3. Rebuke the person individually. (v. 7)

Go directly to the source. You don’t deal with somebody else about it. You don’t talk with five or six different people to get everybody on your side. You don’t say, “I’ve got a prayer request…” and then spout it out.

Instead, you go directly to the person causing the disunity. Nehemiah did that: “I pondered them in my mind and then accused the nobles and officials. I told them ‘You are exacting usury from your own countrymen!’” (Nehemiah 5:7 NIV).

Nehemiah wasn’t making a polite social visit. He was angry, and he didn’t gloss over the fact that these guys were ripping off other people. He wasn’t watering it down. He was confronting the troublemakers. You and I are called to do that, too, when disunity threatens our churches.

Titus 3:10-11 says, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned” (NIV).

Warning troublemakers is an important task of ministry.

4. Publicly deal with public divisions. (v. 7)

In Nehemiah’s situation, everyone knew that the rich people were ripping off the poor. He had to deal with it publicly. Nehemiah 5:7 says when going privately to the rich officials didn’t work, he called together a large meeting to deal with them. It must have been a tough conversation because it was probably the rich officials paying most of the expenses to rebuild the wall. It took guts to confront them publicly.

You, too, have to deal with problems to the degree that they are known. If the problem has spread to the whole church, then you have to deal with the problem publicly.

5. Set an example of unselfishness. (v. 10)

Nehemiah led the way in unselfishness. It was the foundation of his leadership. When he asked them to rebuild the wall, he was out on the wall rebuilding it. When he asked them to pray, he had already been praying. When he asked them to work night and day to get it built, he did the same. When he asked them to help the poor, we find out in verse 10 he’d already been doing it.

Nehemiah never asked anyone to do what he wasn’t already doing or wasn’t willing to do. Leaders only ask others to do what they are already doing or are willing to do. If you cannot challenge someone to follow your example, whatever you say to them is going to lose its impact. Churches have fewer conflicts when their leaders live unselfishly and model that to the congregation.

You’re going to have disagreements in your church. There’s no perfect church. But God wants us to minimize disunity in our churches for his glory. The testimony of a church should not be the beautiful buildings, great sermons or lovely music, but how the people love one another.

This article originally appeared here.

What Counts as Infidelity

Dave Willis

March 20, 2018

Today, a friend reached out to me and shared an article from Women’s Health magazine on “Microcheating” and what most couples consider to be a form of infidelity. As you can imagine, nearly everyone agrees that sex with someone other than your spouse is cheating, but this article pointed out a large “gray area” where people couldn’t seem to agree on what’s off limits and what’s not.

I certainly don’t see it as my job to referee everyone’s relationship, but as a pastor and marriage teacher, I feel a sense of responsibility to weigh in on these important issues. In my experiences with working with couples from all over the world and also researching what the Bible and modern research has to say about what makes a marriage work, I’m convinced that there are at least 10 non-sexual forms of infidelity.

The culture might refer to these as “micro-cheating” but I’d still just call it cheating. “Infidelity” just means broken trust, and anytime you break your spouse’s trust it’s a form of infidelity, whether sex was involved or not. Sexual affairs can certainly be the most devastating form of infidelity, but these 10 forms of cheating can also be destructive. If ANY of these are happening (or being considered) in your marriage, please take immediate action before it’s too late!

Here are 10 types of cheating that don’t involve sex (and how to avoid them all). Not all of these involve another person; some simply involve a failure of the vows you made to your spouse. All are different but all are potentially devastating to a marriage. In no particular order…

10 Forms Of Infidelity

1. Constant criticism, neglect or ANY form of abuse

Abuse in marriage doesn’t always involve physical violence. In fact, the most common forms of abuse leave no marks on the body, but they leave deep scars on the soul. If your words to your spouse are constantly critical, you’re breaking your marriage vows and breaking your spouse’s heart. If you view your spouse as an interruption instead of a priority, you’re being unfaithful. If you mistreat your spouse, you’re “cheating” even if no sexual act of infidelity is involved.

Number two might seem innocent, but it’s very dangerous…

2. Hiding the fact that you’re married

If you are intentionally hiding your status as a married person or you’re projecting “availability” through flirting, slipping off a wedding ring, acting single around your single friends or at bars, etc., then you’re WAY out of bounds. Those subtle acts of deceit are in themselves forms of infidelity even if they never lead to a sexual affair.

Number three can be SO harmful to your marriage…

3. Giving your primary loyalty to someone or something other than your spouse

If you are giving your primary loyalty to your parents ahead of your spouse, you’re actually committing an act of infidelity. If you’re more concerned with your friends than with your spouse, you’re essentially cheating. If you’re consistently giving your strongest loyalty to your career ahead of your spouse, you’re being unfaithful. If we could grasp this responsibility to give our first and best loyalty to our marriage, our marriages would instantly and dramatically improve.

Number four might be the most common form of infidelity; and yet, most people refuse to admit that it’s wrong…

4. Porn, erotica and graphic romance novels

When you’re acting out sexual fantasy apart from your spouse, it’s an act of mental infidelity. All true intimacy and all infidelity begins in the mind; not in the bedroom. If your eyes and your thoughts are wandering away from your spouse, then your heart is going to follow. Two thousand years ago, Jesus taught that “to look at a woman lustfully is to commit adultery with her in your heart.” Don’t just be physically monogamous. Strive to be mentally monogamous.

Number five is something people often justify doing, but it’s destructive…

5. “Checking out” other people OR following an ex on social media

I’ve heard people joke that, “Just because I’m on a diet doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu!” Whether it’s an old flame or just a good looking guy/girl passing by on the street, they’re usually referring to the idea that checking out someone is “harmless” as long as they look but don’t touch. What they fail to realize is that the very act of looking and lusting objectifies others, creates insecurity through unfair comparisons for our spouse, and subtly pulls your thoughts away from your marriage. Keep your eyes and your heart focused on your spouse!

Number six is the biggest enemy of intimacy in marriage...

Vision Casting: The Best Leaders Give Vision Away

Ron Edmondson

March 20, 2018

One of the keys to a successful organization is also one of the riskiest things for a leader to do.

This is some of the hardest advice for me to give other leaders—and, without practice and discipline—one of the hardest for me to incorporate into my leadership.

Leader, if you want your organization to thrive, you have to be willing to give your vision away to those you lead.

Leaders talk a lot about the importance of sticking with a vision. We know we have to repeat a vision often. The vision is referred to for its value to an organization. Without a vision, the people perish.

Right?

We know all these principles. I agree with all the truths about vision.

I am actually referring to another principle though, which leaders sometimes overlook. The best leaders allow others to own the vision besides them. Actually they encourage it.

They give their vision away.

The key to incorporating this into your leadership is in surrounding yourself with people you trust enough to take your vision and implement it with their own personal touch. They get to live out their vision in cooperation with yours.

When we planted Grace Community Church I had a vision. It was actually a 10-year old vision. It was a specific vision to reach people far from God, but it was broad. I felt God wanted to have a church that reached people where they were, not with rules to perform for approval, but with unconditional love and grace. Through prayer and discernment, I recruited a co-pastor who shared the vision. I recruited a core team who could own the vision, as their own. The co-pastor and I recruited a worship leader who believed in the vision.

Then, step by step, we began to give away our vision.

Taking the existing vision, which never changed, we had core members who researched and shaped our children’s ministry. Others started our greeting ministry. Still others formed the structure of our preschool.

In this process, they developed these ministries with their own individual perspectives and desires. The ministries, while accomplishing the overall vision for the church, may or may not have looked like I would have personally planned them. In the end, however, they were far better than I could have ever produced on my own. Our church expanded rapidly, and, of course it was all grace, but looking back, it was also in great part because of those who owned the vision with us.

Leaders often operate out of fear and hold too tightly to their vision, afraid others will ruin their “dream,” but this never allows people to develop. It stifles growth and doesn’t allow the body (or the organization) to perform at its best. Ultimately it keeps the leader’s vision from achieving maximum potential.

My encouragement to leaders would be to surround yourself with people you trust enough to own your vision and place their own personal touch on it. Your church or organization will be the benefactor of this approach.

This article originally appeared here.

The Art of the Pre-Service Huddle

Kenny Conley

March 20, 2018

For years, one of my biggest frustrations was getting volunteers to show up on time. After talking to others, I discovered that I wasn’t alone. Honestly, getting anyone to show up for anything on time is a modern-day challenge. However, when services begin at 9:00 and volunteers are showing up minutes before (or even after), ministry leaders will literally lose their minds. However, I’ve found the solution to this little problem. The Pre-Service Huddle.

Actually, the Pre-Service Huddle wasn’t created just to get your volunteers to show up on time, but timeliness with your volunteers is a welcome side effect.

Culture creation is a huge part of developing a healthy volunteer ministry and one of the best ways to create culture is through regular pre-service huddles.

I know what you’re thinking. “I can’t even get everyone to show up to serve on time, what makes you think they’ll come 20-30 early for a MEETING?” Trust me, you’d be surprised. Below are some components of great pre-service huddles.

INSPIRATION

There’s a very good chance that inspiration is what got your volunteers to sign up. They heeded a call to serve and they dove in. Unfortunately, inspiration wears off. Busy weekends, sick kids and life, in general, has the tendency to trump inspiration. This is why you should seek to inspire your volunteers on a regular basis. Remind them about why they serve. Show them the difference they’re making. Tell stories of life-change. Brag on them. Cast compelling vision of where you’re headed. It’s Sunday morning, there’s nothing like a mini-pep rally just before opening the doors for the kids to enter.

TRAINING

Who says you can only train your volunteers through 90-minute lunch seminars that less than half of our volunteers show up for? Did you know that you can train your volunteers every week, just two to four minutes at a time? Volunteers need regular instruction. How can they better connect with their kids? How can they handle behavior issues? How can they connect to their kids in meaningful ways? These are really simple nuggets of training that you could offer every single week. Wrap it with an email, quick video and two- to three-minute conversation at your huddle, and you’ve got a really good chance of seeing volunteers grow in their abilities.

SPIRITUALITY

The main auditorium isn’t the only place for people to connect with God. There’s actually a really good chance that what volunteers are going to teach their kids that day could also be fresh and impactful for them as well. What if you connected with your volunteers on a spiritual level around the same idea they’ll teach their kids? There’s a chance that what they teach will come across even more meaningfully. Take the time to connect your leaders to God, find unique ways to make your huddle meaningful. Most importantly, create the space to pray and connect with God—to dedicate their service to what God wants to do.

COMMUNITY

Everyone craves community. They want to be known. However, not everyone is going to go to an adult small group. That’s a scary first step for many. However, you can create great community through your huddle. Take time for people to share stories. Let people talk about themselves. Create opportunities where your volunteers can laugh together or just do something fun. Create an environment where everyone knows each other and begins to pray for each other on a regular basis.

When these things are a part of your weekly pre-service huddle, your volunteers will start showing up. They won’t at first. They’ll trickle in over time. However, if you’re consistent with this, having volunteers skip the huddle will actually become unusual. Crazy, right?

Let me leave you with a couple of final tips:

Inspiration, training, spirituality and community are all components of pre-service huddles. However, it’s unlikely you’ll offer all of those every week. Actually, you really shouldn’t. Maybe offer three to four weeks of training on a specific topic. You’ll also incorporate a little community and maybe a story here and there. Then you’ll take a few weeks to focus on fun team-building stuff or some heartfelt devotions. Mix it up, but keep track of when you’re doing what.
Prepare, prepare, prepare. If you’re waking up on Sunday morning wondering what you’re going to share at this week’s huddle, you’ve already missed it. Plan your huddles out a month in advance. What you want to cover this month and bullet point out the talking points. This is especially important if you’re letting your coaches lead the huddles. If you give them talking points five minutes before their huddle, you’ll kill whatever you’re trying to build.
Keep it short. Less is more. We only get 10-15 minutes to huddle, often time less than 10 if a service went long. You can do a lot in a little bit of time, just be prepared.

This article originally appeared here.

3 Ways Almost Every Church Gets Stuck

Carey Nieuwhof

March 20, 2018

At some point, almost every church gets stuck. If yours isn’t stuck right now, just wait a while. Every church and organization gets stuck at some point.

Usually, churches get stuck because what was working stopped working,

When that happens, leaders aren’t sure what to do.

While figuring that out is complex (and a frequent subject of many posts on this blog), trying to find a solution is difficult if you’re looking in the wrong place.

It’s easy to think that churches are prone to get stuck in the past. And that’s true. If there’s a trend, it’s almost always toward the past in many churches.

After all, the past has a nostalgia the future never does.

And yet, some churches also get stuck in the present, and in the future (as strange as that sounds). That may be exactly where your church is stuck, without you realizing it.

Here are three dynamics that all leaders have to wrestle down when their church gets stuck (or any organization for that matter).

1. Stuck in the Past

The older your church is, or the more successful your church was at some point, the more likely it is some of your leaders will get stuck in the past.

When a church gets stuck in the past, you hear voice after voice saying let’s go back to the way it was.

The problem, of course, is that you can’t go back to the way it was. The past died long ago.

What worked then worked because the conditions were right then. And those conditions changed some time ago.

This isn’t just a traditional church thing. Church plants that have hit a plateau or decline will long for the good old days too. Remember 2016, when everything was up and to the right?

There’s a world of difference between learning from the past and living in the past.

It’s great to isolate the principles from the past that worked and try to apply them (or abandon them) in light of today’s conditions.

But it’s foolish to keep trying to re-create the past. It’s gone.

If God wanted you to keep ministering in 1995 or 2016, he would have left you there.

But he didn’t. So move on.

Churches that live in the past never have much of a future.

2. Signs You’re Stuck in the Future

Stuck in the future? I know, that doesn’t even sound possible, but it is.

Here’s how it happens.

You get stuck in the future when a visionary leader tries to move forward without any clear, coherent or cogent plan.

It happens innocently enough.

Many leaders get excited about what could be. Maybe he read five new books. Or she listens to podcasts about organizations that have crushed their goals. Or he’s been to so many conferences he’s lost count.

The talk is always about what could be, what should be and what might be, but there’s zero plan to get anyone there.

A vision without a plan isn’t a dream. It’s a nightmare.

The vision eventually dangles in front of people so often that no one believes it anymore.

As a leader, you eventually become the parent who constantly promises the kids a trip to Disney but never takes them.

Focusing on the future becomes a way to avoid dealing with the present. Which is why many leaders love to live in the future; then they don’t have to deal with anything.

The Gospel of Ear-Tickling

Joe McKeever

March 20, 2018

gospels ear tickling — Adobestock #101239833

“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate to themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4).

Sermons That Tickle Your Ears Sell

Anyone doubting that should stand outside a typical church on a Sunday morning and listen. “I like the way he preaches.” “He makes me feel good.” “I don’t like what I hear.” “I’m not sure what it is about that preacher, but I don’t like him.” I like, I don’t like, I feel, I don’t feel.

What I want in a church. What we’re looking for. Why we’re considering leaving.

On and on, ad infinitum. People want what they want. And with the availability of churches of all stripes and colors—varieties of sizes, architecture, programs, music, preaching, doctrine—no one need stay where they are unhappy. So, they keep moving.

And so pastors keep studying “what people want in a church.” And lay leadership keeps polling the congregation: “What you want in a pastor.”

God help us.

In the Peanuts comic strip, the children were writing an assignment about their summer vacation. Linus was hard at work. He wrote something like, “Even though I had a lot of fun this summer—at the beach, going to movies, playing ball and vacationing with my family—I could not wait to return to the hallowed halls of learning. I missed my amazing school, my wonderful books and my outstanding teacher. I’m so happy to be back.”

He handed in the paper, then stood there while the teacher read it. He says, “An A-plus? Thank you very much, ma’am.” As he leaves the room, he remarks to another child, “As the years come and go, one learns what sells.”

Many a pastor has figured out what sells and has determined to offer a steady menu of that to their congregations.

This is powered by a lot of things: personal ambition, job security, drawing crowds, increasing the budget and getting noticed.

The flesh craves what it wants. The Gospel of Ear-Tickling says pastors should speak nice words, never rock the boat, and choose only those doctrines that the locals agree on. Or even better, avoid doctrine altogether and stay with topics sure to draw in a crowd. “How to be a winner in a losing world.” “How to overcome your low self-esteem.” “How to be popular and still please God.” “How to romance your spouse.” “How to have perfect children.”

Sometimes the message we preach is unpleasant.

In his final warning to the church–specifically to young Pastor Timothy, but through him to us—Paul implies that sound doctrine may be unpleasant to the ear. The truth of God preached by a faithful disciple of the Lord Jesus does a lot of things…

–it rebukes our self-centeredness.

–it holds us to a higher standard.

–it is like surgery or medicine in that for the short term it can be painful, but the result of which is health.

This is why only courageous leaders should be chosen by churches. They understand these things and are willing to pay the price. Others are not.

“Master,” the disciples said, “are you aware that the Pharisees were offended by what You said?” (Matthew 15). “Let them alone,” said the Lord. “They are blind leaders of the blind.”

Courageous leaders are essential.

It goes without saying that pastors and other ministers must be men and women of courage. But likewise, the lay leaders must be people of strength and firmness.

–Such leaders will encourage the pastor to preach the truth even if it hurts.

–Such leaders will support the pastor when he does preach the unvarnished truth and is receiving criticism. They should remind God’s people that “no chastening for the present time seems pleasant…but afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11).

–Such leaders will speak to members of the congregation who are stirring up strife over what the pastor is preaching. If God’s man is telling the truth and being faithful, the lay leadership should have the courage to stand with him.

–Such leaders will even allow a few unhappy church members to leave when they cannot get their way. They will not blame the pastor for running them away. Anyone who does even a quick reading of the Gospels will see our Lord let people leave Him because they could not take His truth. And He did not blame Himself or second-guess the message He was preaching.

Pray for your leaders, friend. And stand by them, particularly when they are being criticized. If they are faithful, then you be faithful.

God, bless your church. Please.

This article originally appeared here.

7 Reasons Some Churches Don’t Grow

Greg Stier

March 19, 2018

I’ve had the privilege of preaching at churches from coast to coast over the last 25 years of ministry. In the process, I’ve talked to countless pastors, church leaders and youth pastors about how their churches are doing when it comes to growth and the reasons for it. On one side I’ve seen churches that thrive. They grow every year both deeper and wider.

These are not always the “megachurches” but, in my book, they are the “mighty churches,” because whether they number at 200 or 2,000 they are truly Gospel Advancing on every level. These churches have that “new believer smell” in that there’s always a little edginess in the foyer because it’s usually peppered with people who don’t necessarily look like they should be there.

After having co-planted and co-pastored a church for 10 years in the Denver area, and having preached in churches across the nation, quietly evaluating what makes them work (or not), here is my list of non-scientific reasons why some churches don’t grow.

1. They’re not friendly enough.

There have been far too many times I’ve walked through the foyer of a church and NOT been greeted or said hello to or helped to find my way around. I’ve felt like an outsider floating in the midst of a group of insiders. Even if somebody just said “hello” and pointed where the auditorium, the nearest bathroom and the closest escape routes are (in case the service really goes bad), I’d feel more at home. On the other hand, when I walk into a church building, am warmly greeted and engaged, my defenses go down and I immediately feel more at home (and that’s important because usually I’m there to do the preaching that day!).

There’ve been many times as the visiting preacher I’ve seen a person or a family with that same deer-in-the-church-lights look meandering in a large church foyer, trying to find their way around. There have been many times I’ve greeted them, welcomed them to the church and said, “Let’s find the auditorium together,” or “Let’s talk to somebody who looks like they know what is going on and we’ll get your kids in Sunday school…if they have one…I don’t know…but welcome!”

By the way, the guest preacher shouldn’t be doing that job!

Churches that are friendly have a much higher chance of growing than churches that are not. First impressions matter.

2. They’re not intentional enough.

I’ve talked to many pastors who have assured me that they want to grow with new believers but they have no plan to make it happen. They tell me of their vision and their new sermon series and their exciting Easter outreach. But these three things are like making a plan on “How to have an effective huddle” in a football game. No, you need the actual plays you and your congregation are going to run day in and day out (not just on Sunday morning) if you are going to intentionally grow with new disciples being made and multiplied.

Big Lessons From Small Church

Beth Colletti

March 19, 2018

Thanks so much for taking the time to join us for another episode of the unSeminary podcast. We have a treat today with guest Pastor Karl Vaters of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship in Orange County, California. Karl is with us to talk about small churches, their unique challenges and how they can be great when they are in this place.

When Karl first arrived at Cornerstone, the church was very small and in need of a lot of help. Through hard work they were able to help the church grow over several years, from 75 to 150, eventually breaking the 200 barrier and getting over 400. But then something happened, and attendance suddenly dropped dramatically all at once. Karl is with us today to talk about that shift, what he learned about pastoring a church of under 250, and what he’d do differently next time.

Focus on health, not growth. Looking in from the outside, Cornerstone was thriving and growing as more people filled the space. But when the church broke the 200 attendance barrier, there was a lot more work behind the scenes than the staff was prepared for. Karl was busy hiring staff and overseeing so many business details that took him away from the actual pastoral work, and he found that being a manager was not his calling. The unhappiness Karl felt in all this stress and work rubbed off throughout the rest of the church. People may not have known what was wrong exactly, but they could sense the tension, and it drove them away. Through this difficult season, Karl sought counseling and learned how to redefine success detached from numbers. When the church dropped back below 200, he examined what a healthy small church looked like and sought to understand how healthy small churches operate differently. Karl’s biggest advice is not to focus on growth, but to focus on getting healthy, which was what he shifted his mindset to. At that point, he decided that if they got bigger again, next time they would be ready for it.
Large and small churches need different things. Imagine large churches and small churches on a Venn diagram with the large church principles in the left circle and small church principles in the right circle. The smaller the church, the less overlap; the larger, the more overlap. If you listen to Rick Warren and your church is about 2,000 people, you can still apply much of Saddleback’s principles to your church. But when you drop a zero and your church is around 200, it behaves in a completely different way. A lot of principles for large churches don’t work in small churches. For example, systems, while important in small churches, are not as important as the relationships, culture and history. Meanwhile, a large church needs to put a lot of energy into developing systems. Small groups are another critical area that large churches need to develop, whereas a church of 50 people may not need to break down into smaller groups since individual ministries in the church (kids, women, youth, etc.) already serve that purpose.
Ninety percent of churches around the world are under 250 people. So many of us look at large churches and feel like grasshoppers in a land of giants, instead of seeing that a small church is “normal.” God wants to use the church, regardless of how many people are gathered in one place. As Karl says, “The power of the Holy Spirit is not more concentrated because there’s more of us in the room. God wants to work in these small groups scattered all over the face of the earth as well as He wants to work in places where large groups of Christians are gathered together. He will use both.” If you have a small church, work hard to get it healthy. If it’s healthy, but you still don’t get big numerically, celebrate the fact that you got healthy instead of mourning the fact that you didn’t grow. The goal is to get healthy.
Finding time for small church pastors. The majority of pastors at small churches are bi-vocational. Finding time to manage everything that needs to be done and planning for the future is one of the biggest problems they face. Planning in a small church can often look like scrambling on a Saturday night for what needs to be preached Sunday morning. While we have to find a better system, large church pastor systems don’t seem to work for us. Large church pastors might take four weeks in the summer to outline their whole year. While you can’t do it all at once, there are ways to break it down. Karl explains his method of 3, 2, 1: every week take 1 hour to think 3 months out, 1 hour to think 2 months out, and 1 hour to think 1 month out. You can do it on commute from your job, when you have some quiet time, before bed, anytime during the day. It doesn’t all have to be done in one day. Find three separate hours in a week to think about what your message for these Sundays and soon that time will add up. You’ll be just as well prepared as the large church pastors.
Leverage your relational value. Relationships are especially critical in small churches and will be key to helping your church move forward. Karl uses the acronym GIFT to encourage small churches to be intentional about relationship building. Every Sunday, encourage the regulars in your small church to: greet someone they’ve never met, introduce somebody to someone they’ve never met, follow-up on someone you’ve met recently, or thank someone for a job well done. Doing at least one of these every week will cause the friendliness factor of your church to skyrocket.

You can learn more about Karl and his new book, The Grasshopper Myth: Big Churches, Small Churches and the Small Thinking that Divides Us, at his website newsmallchurch.com.

This article originally appeared here.

Why We Changed Our Mind About VBS

Sam Luce

March 19, 2018

We did Vacation Bible School for five years in a row and stopped doing them for the past 12 years because we weren’t accomplishing what we set out to accomplish with them. Last year we started to do them again here is why we started again and why you should do VBS as well.

We live in a very pluralistic society that doesn’t value church but values traditions. There are many parents who have young kids who either don’t go to church or infrequently attend church but have great memories of VBS. They want their kids to have those some memories and will put their kids in VBS before taking them on the weekend.
Having 15 hours in the VBS week to speak new truth or reinforce what is being taught at home is invaluable. The new regular attendees standard is now 12 to 24 Sundays a year. VBS gives you a nice chunk of time to drill down into core truth that kids need in the world we now live in.
Partnering with parents starts with equipping parents. Doing VBS with this in mind makes VBS more valuable than a simple stand-alone program.
VBS has to be a whole church focus. It can’t be something your department does. I did a department-focused VBS years ago and just finished a church-driven VBS. The difference is night and day.
Reaching new families has to be a focus but not the whole focus. We want to reach new families but we also need to build the foundations of the families we have. One of the reasons we write our own VBS is because we want a VBS that speaks to the specific culture and values of our church that no VBS curriculum could ever do. There are tons of great ones out there, but for us, VBS is more than an outreach tool, it’s a gospel shaping delivery device for the whole family.
Our church has changed. We care about the weekend service still, but we care more about intentional ways to help with spiritual formation and discipleship in a variety of ways outside the weekend service.

I have written posts about why VBS is no longer relevant, I was right and I was wrong. I was right because how we do VBS has to change and why we do VBS has to change. If how and why we do VBS changes it can be an amazing tool to reinforce the framework of your entire church. I was wrong to say that a method is no longer useful at all because it was no longer useful to me. So I hope you pray about whether you should do VBS, and if you do VBS evaluate why you do VBS.

This article originally appeared here.

5 Traits of the Heart People Want From Their Pastor

Dan Reiland

March 19, 2018

People intuitively seek traits of the heart over skills of the trade when choosing a pastor to connect with and follow spiritually.

Yes, things like good preaching, wise administration and strong ministry programming matter, but they are not at the top of the list.

There’s a lot of grace for a “good not great” sermon when the pastor is fully trusted, loved and is a good leader.

The size of the church does play a significant role.

The larger the church becomes, the more difficult it is to be close to the senior pastor. This is logical and understandable. In this case, the more important things like ministry program excellence become. But, the things of the heart never fade from importance.

People don’t leave a church because a particular ministry was less than perfect. After all, that person could stay and help make that ministry better.

Further, a reasonable person doesn’t leave a church because they don’t get their way. But they will leave if they don’t intuitively connect at a heart level with the pastor or a key leader in the church.

Again, let’s talk size of the church for a moment.

In a smaller church, that heart connection happens in some way at a personal level.

In larger (and huge) churches, that heart level connect happens more because the pastor’s communication gifts and skills are so strong he or she can communicate that authentic love from the platform. Also, other leaders in those very large churches help make that needed and wanted personal touch with the people.

No matter what the size, style or culture of the church, the heart wants what it wants.

5 Traits of the Heart People Want From Their Pastor:

(Or a key leader in the church.)

1) Authentic faith

People want to know that their pastor loves and follows Jesus. As a spiritual leader, your faith must be real.

That doesn’t mean your faith isn’t occasionally flawed or that you never have a spiritual doubt. In fact, a spiritual doubt during a difficult time is part of authentic faith. No one is willing to follow a spiritual leader who hasn’t walked a few difficult roads themselves.

Authentic faith reveals that you trust God both in the good times and in the difficult seasons of life and ministry.

2) Genuine love

Jesus modeled love better than anyone, and He is our example.

People want to know that their pastor loves and cares about them. They want to know he or she has compassion for those who are hurting and patience for those who struggle.

As I reflect on my years at 12Stone Church, it’s obvious to me that our senior pastor Kevin Myers loves the people. For 30 years he’s laid his all on the line and sacrificed for the good of the people.

3) A disposition of grace

Grace and love are certainly connected, but here’s how I would differentiate.

Love is what you give to the people.
Grace is the spirit by which you lead the people.

I’ll be candid with you, I’ve met some pastors who are tough on people. They love the people, but they can be hard on them. High expectations are good, but not if that turns into a demanding relationship.

There is little that is more powerful than that between a pastor and the people.

When I think about my kids, there is nothing they can do that will prevent me from loving them. I might be disappointed, or feel a need to correct or challenge them, but grace keeps my heart tender.

As a pastor I have received so much grace from God and others, I can’t help but extend it freely to those I love and serve.

4) Trustworthy character

Trust may be difficult to define, but we all know what it means. You know if you trust someone or don’t. You might not be able to say why, but you know.

When you encounter an auto mechanic, a doctor or an insurance broker, you know if you trust them. The same is true with a spiritual leader, the profession or trade. It doesn’t matter.

This matter of trust, particularly about personal character or integrity, is essential. The life of a spiritual leader must be lived with openness and transparency that allows people to know and trust them.

The good news is that trustworthiness is not based on talent or ability.

5) Hope-filled leadership

The realities of everyday life are weighty and can be discouraging. A leader who is filled with hope for a better future captures the hearts of people.

A pastor with a positive spirit and joyful attitude will always out-lead a more talented but sour-spirited leader.

When the hope-filled heart of a leader is combined with a clear vision and direction, the results are healthy and highly productive.

If you are the pastor (or a key leader), this doesn’t mean you must have all the answers.

It doesn’t mean everything always works or goes smoothly. It does mean, however, that as you get up every day, you see hope for the future rather than doom and gloom, and that God will help you find a way.

This article originally appeared here.

Top 10 Mistakes Preachers Make in Sermon Delivery

Brandon Kelley

March 19, 2018

Sermon delivery. It’s an art, a moment, an experiential occasion. But sometimes it can seem like a train wreck. Often, the delivery of the sermon is the thing new preachers struggle with the most. But even some seasoned veterans still struggle with delivering sermons that both engage and edify.

I believe with all my heart that sermon delivery can be improved upon, but it takes intentionality. And the first step toward improvement is to recognize what not to do.

Top 10 Mistakes Preachers Make in Sermon Delivery

1. Flip on the “preacher voice”

It’s one thing to elevate your energy since you’re speaking to a crowd, but it’s completely different to alter your voice altogether. Hey, it’s good to see you. How are you doing with the new job? The preacher sounded normal there.

But then they stepped into the pulpit…

Good morning, hallelujah. Let’s open up in our Bibles to the book of Isaiah.

All of a sudden, the preacher transformed into a golden radio voiced announcer at the local arena.

If this is you, here’s what that communicates: You’re being fake.

2. Walk into the pulpit underprepared

There may be nothing more detrimental to your sermon delivery than being underprepared.

Why?

Because when you don’t know what you’re going to say, you are chained to your notes or chained to your “uhms.”

Instead of being free to deliver the message with power and passion, you’re checking for directions, missing turns, trying to do u-turns and looking around, wondering how to get to your destination.

3. Stare at the back wall

In most churches, if you stare at the back wall, everyone will notice.

Think about it.

If you’re having coffee with a friend and they look past you the entire time, you probably would either wonder if they even care about you or you would ask them if something is wrong.

Anytime someone avoids eye contact, we grow suspicious of that person.

If your goal is to communicate that your message is disconnected to everyone’s life, the back wall is a good place to stare at.

4. Don’t…move…

I promise it’s not a sin to step to the side of that wooden behemoth of a pulpit. This is especially important if your gathering space is set up wide.

If we don’t move our legs and our arms, we communicate a lack of energy.

It’s unnatural to stand still for long periods of time.

5. Keep your voice in the middle

We all have our natural talking voice. But it is always a mistake when preaching to keep our pitch and our volume in the middle the entire time.

Variance engages.

VARIANCE engages.

Variance ENGAGES.

Variance engages.

If you want to lull the congregation to sleep, keep the same speaking pattern. Always end a sentence low or always end a sentence high. These are surefire ways to help people catch up on Zzzz’s.

Rachael Denhollander on Fox: Evangelicals and Abuse

Megan Briggs

March 19, 2018

Rachael Denhollander, the first woman to file a report against USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar, spoke to Martha MacCallum on Fox News on Friday, March 16, 2018. After playing a significant role in taking Nassar out of his predatory position and the enabling practices of Michigan State University, Denhollander is attempting to shed light on another institution that she believes enables abuse: the evangelical church.

This is not the first time Denhollander has spoken out against the policies that enable abusers in the church, previously she had spoken to Christianity Today about her concerns with Sovereign Grace Churches (SGC) in particular. She’s also made several lengthy statements on her personal Facebook page. However, the interview on Fox News is arguably the most visible platform from which she has articulated her concerns.

In this interview, Rachael Denhollander doesn’t just focus on SGC, though. She mentions a “systematic burying of reports of sexual assault” within the evangelical community. Although she doesn’t mention any other churches by name besides SGC, Denhollander says if one looks at the insurance claims that are filed against churches, evangelical ones have the most reports of sexual assault filed against them.

Denhollander claims the same institutional dynamics evident in the Michigan State University case concerning Larry Nassar and the same institutional dynamics evident in the Catholic Church’s sexual abuse cover-ups of the 1990s and 2000s are at play in the Evangelical church as well.

This is something Basyle Tchvidjian, a grandson of Billy Graham, has mentioned before. Tchvidjian shares the insurance claim numbers Denhollander refers to in her Fox interview. According to Tchvidjian, cases involving sexual assault in Catholic churches number approximately 228 a year, whereas there are approximately 260 a year in evangelical churches.

Tchvidjian’s organization, GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment), investigates sexual abuse allegations in high-profile Christian institutions. It was GRACE that Denhollander recommended SGC employ to clear the air of controversy surrounding the sexual abuse cases of several of their members. SGC refused the advice, stating, among other reasons, they did not feel Tchvidjian’s organization would conduct an investigation free of bias after Tchvidjian made negative comments about the church.

The difference between the Evangelical church and institutions like the Catholic church and the Michigan State or USA Gymnastics is that the Evangelical church has not yet been held accountable, according to Denhollander.

In the Fox News interview, there are four things, specifically, Denhollander believes churches do to bury sexual assault claims:

Counseling victims to forgive and forget
Not reporting to the police
Moving people around within the organization to different church plants
Not warning families who are in contact with known predators

“The way the Evangelical church handles the issue of sexual assault and domestic violence is very much in opposition to Christ’s teaching. It’s in opposition to the Gospel,” Denhollander states.

Despite apparently losing the support of her church in the process of bringing her concerns over SGC to light, Dehollander still calls herself a conservative Evangelical. In the interview with Christianity Today, Denhollander admonished those afraid to speak the truth about sexual abuse and the church’s mishandling of abuse to not feel the need to protect the Gospel in some way.

“The gospel of Jesus Christ does not need your protection. It defies the gospel of Christ when we do not call out abuse and enable abuse in our own church. Jesus Christ does not need your protection; he needs your obedience. Obedience means that you pursue justice and you stand up for the oppressed and you stand up for the victimized, and you tell the truth about the evil of sexual assault and the evil of covering it up.”

You can see the full interview with Rachael Denhollander here.

5 of the best practices of thriving small group ministries:

The senior pastor is the champion.

Thriving small group ministries are promoted year-round

Churches with thriving small group ministries clarify what is most important

Thriving small group ministries are budget priorities

Thriving small group ministries deliver a robust experience

1. Driven by a grand idea

2. Perseverance through lots of adversity

3. Incredibly high expectations

4. Often difficult to work for

One year – 18 months out from your group mission trip

Nine months – one year out from your group mission trip

Six months – nine months out from your group mission trip

Three months – six months out from our group mission trip

Key Quotes from Ed Stetzer:

Links Mentioned by Ed Stetzer in the Show:

Ed Stetzer on ChurchLeaders:

1. Take the problem seriously. (v. 6)

2. Think before you speak. (v. 7)

3. Rebuke the person individually. (v. 7)

4. Publicly deal with public divisions. (v. 7)

5. Set an example of unselfishness. (v. 10)

10 Forms Of Infidelity

1. Constant criticism, neglect or ANY form of abuse

2. Hiding the fact that you’re married

3. Giving your primary loyalty to someone or something other than your spouse

4. Porn, erotica and graphic romance novels

5. “Checking out” other people OR following an ex on social media

They give their vision away.

Then, step by step, we began to give away our vision.

INSPIRATION

TRAINING

SPIRITUALITY

COMMUNITY

Here are three dynamics that all leaders have to wrestle down when their church gets stuck (or any organization for that matter).

1. Stuck in the Past

2. Signs You’re Stuck in the Future

Sermons That Tickle Your Ears Sell

5 Traits of the Heart People Want From Their Pastor:

1) Authentic faith

2) Genuine love

3) A disposition of grace

4) Trustworthy character

5) Hope-filled leadership

Top 10 Mistakes Preachers Make in Sermon Delivery

1. Flip on the “preacher voice”

2. Walk into the pulpit underprepared

3. Stare at the back wall

4. Don’t…move…

5. Keep your voice in the middle

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